Chronicle 113 ~Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’~

It’d be less humiliating to be on my knees to God than how the Day Job had me crawling around Thu. Ironic that it was the shoe lady that had me doing that. What I wouldn’t give to be on the floor playing with B again. Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’

Friday, October 22, 2021

Chronicle 113 ~Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I always have a soft place to land when I fall flat on my face.

So with my Republican ideology. I wish I could bury my head in the sand after yesterday’s humiliations. I did get off the Day Job early but let’s not forget I don’t even have money. This means I’m less than dirt, or should I say lint, as I’m lying in bed all day again. I should go shopping, but I’m already making up excuses. No, the word should be “Lying.” I would have been better off lying there and letting people step all over me. Hell, I was on the floor replacing those damn soft mats. I can do both; indeed, I followed through Sophia. Let’s focus on the lies, though. The fact that I thought, “I’m Gonna Be Somebody.” Now that would be Braxton.

There were days when Braxton would curl up beside my head, and I could go blind with all his hair. I would take one of the days when he would step on my face. How about the lies B would tell to get me to follow him and attempt to do something with this existence? With him around, I had to walk the straight and narrow path because where’s Braxton? Sophia, I try that at my Day Job, ok. Once again, I’m a fucking joke. I hate it there always. What have I been doing all this morning, making mistakes, and why? Comfy spots SIGH. Be it burgers, books, boobs, I spent how much again? The bucks better be there, or is $12.00 hourly it?

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”
― The Walking Dead, 07×02

Was my Manager lying to me? It wouldn’t be the first time. Let’s focus on my lie, though. Which was, I wouldn’t be able to get fries for Braxton yesterday. As you can see, ta-da. What would have happened if I had this drive while Braxton was alive? B’s waiting. Another way of lying to myself so I don’t have to look. B III’s in the den waiting for fries. I stay in the dark so I can pretend he’s lying somewhere, and I have to look out for him. Days like yesterday say I should follow him and let his barking drive away, the noise. B III breathing did too. His lies that I’m a good Daddy I can forgive. Lying, Braxton Be Trippin’

264 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

I talked about food last week. B would be ticked off to see I didn’t bring fries back. I bought a chicken biscuit, and I yelled at McD’s for their STUPID rewards program I never signed up for. B’s brain and belly were linked. When Braxton Fries Away

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

263 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I hope I picked something up but no fries B. I had a chicken biscuit.

Yes, I’m talking to you on a Wednesday. As always, I think back to when it would have mattered. The Wednesday, you cried, and by Thursday, I thought you would be okay. One more thing to be sorry for. I didn’t want to bring you down, and I’m bawling guaranteed. Not over Colin Powell, though. While I was in line today, again Wednesday, I saw the flag at half-staff. I don’t look up most days. I can only imagine what you think of me. You’re higher now, and if I had wings, a cape, a pile of money, I’d make my way up, B III. You have to believe me; I’m still trying, but it’s never enough. I’m talking like no fries for us both.

A day without fries is like a day without sunshine. If I didn’t bring food home, then we walked. Which one was better for you, B? There was no final walk and no last fry when your time came. Time, what did I do with all of mine today? And by Thursday, I’ll be out. I often envision what Hell will be like. Never getting to nap again. Wasting time. Braxton, I remember thinking the police would show up and take me away. Alone again. Is it sitting here, waiting to die? I didn’t even have it in me to make it back downstairs B. I wouldn’t expect you to follow me. I carried you in your old age, but you came up by yourself.

If I had the money, where would you like to eat? I’m sure the Rainbow Bridge has better fries than McDonald’s. Burger King, Seafood & Chicken Box, Red Lantern, etc. I swear, the best places are either fucked-up or closed down. Don’t repeat that language. You’re your father’s son, after all, and I want to keep you on the up and up. Well, unless you feel like taking a trip to visit me. I found some of your bandannas from PetSmart on the floor, and I figured you’d been by. I know I’m in your room every day. Little B. Thursday morning, there will be 263 for all the Days you’ve been gone. There are lots of ways to be empty. When Braxton Fries Away

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 111 ~Bucket Says B III~

All the small things, chicken biscuits off the shelves and not getting them in the drive-thru. The Yabbo files I’ve been working on instead of writing. Of course, there is always my little boy, gone 262 Days. “Bucket Says B III,” sometimes.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Chronicle 111 ~Bucket Says B III~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would make it in for a chicken biscuit sometime today. There’s always time.

Um, no, there’s not, but I did wake up around two AM today. But getting two more hours of sleep, I woke up at four and then fell right back to sleep, yep. It’s not nightmares but wanting to wake up dead and then seeing death staring you in the face. B was my life. Doggie kisses or some pretty girl’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve made a comparison. Where are we now; 262 Days without Little B. Even longer when it comes to the chicks. Hell, all the chicks in the world wouldn’t make up for Braxton being here. A monk again? I’m trying Inspector Echo, twisting my legs all into knots. As it stands, 3 Days, 17 Hours. Yes, it’s timed.

Braxton isn’t very patient when it comes to his favorite things in the world. Going outside, a biscuit for his bathroom spot, doggie cuddles from Moi? Inspector, it’s Fries always. These days as a routine, I stop and pick up fries except for Saturdays. If I’m going to betray my best friend. When I pick up a box of Street Tacos, I’ll choose onion rings. Bastard. Only this week, all I’ve wanted is a chicken biscuit but with the “promotion” and all. As the song goes, “Work sucks, I know.” If I go pick one up today, what’s left this week? Echo, a lesson from Braxton, “The best legs, breasts, and thighs are in a bucket of chicken.” My little boy was a wise one.

I’m not talking about my penis; that would be my big boy, right? Besides thinking of the vittles, I haven’t been getting. Or my Braxton, of course. It’s been all about boobs, some Yabbos. When you’re hauling boxes of crap, what’s a man to do? If I was writing Echo? Now I’m not complaining about OnlyFans. I’m thinking the reason I started that is because the house is Hell. But the Day Job is what took me away from Braxton. Should I be thanking them or cursing them? At least the ASM quit, so yay. I still need to eat. Chicken for my table or more like for Braxton’s tummy. For now, I’ll go write at the dining room table, SIGH. Bucket Says B III

262 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 108 ~Listen To That B~

When B was here, he’d Boss me around. My second Best Friend doesn’t, but I do listen to her. And then there are so many boobs, in particular, Blaze because I’ve been hearing the Streets of Rage 2 Boss Fight Music since Thurs. C’mon, Listen To That B.

Sunday, October 17, 2021

Chronicle 108 ~Listen To That B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so when are you going to start listening to me. I say too much, not enough, whatever.

Yeah, that’s right, you can say “whatever.” It stills boils the blood when you think about the ASM. Or chills it considering you were scared to death this morning. You didn’t even know what day it was. Talk about tired. All you want to do is sleep. Can’t blame you. Life should come with Boss Music, so you know what you’re getting into. I know you have been waiting to get that one off your chest, SIGH. For days I’ve had an earworm of “Never Return Alive” from Streets of Rage 2. It fits well with Gi-hun and Sang-woo. Squid Game’s final Boss Battle. I watched that; the day I got promoted, and now you have to deal with it. That and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Dystopian Girls (1)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As always, I owe you an apology and my condolences. Only you don’t want to hear them ever. Doesn’t do you any good, and by this time next week, you’ll do the same. Sundays suck. I could offer you some relief in the form of Blaze Fielding. Um, Streets of Rage 2; proof in some way that the past was not a complete shit-show. Close, very near, but not complete. Better I am silent, though as you were. I swear you were up by 7:00 AM and didn’t make it one hour before you fell to exhaustion. The horrors of today but then, tomorrow, tomorrow. You don’t want to hear about it. Braxton’s barking was much better with you sitting here with Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Kama Sutra Sex Guide for Couples, Samantha Mandala
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Want to hear about the money you’ll be making now? Should you endure and survive? What about the crunch of an alarm clock if you decided to do something extraordinary? Lying to yourself, for it won’t be fantastic, and you’re not getting up anytime soon. Braxton isn’t here, and he gave the best motivational speeches. Will you listen on Spotify? Hell, you should be listening to a hammer driving in nails for Braxton’s pictures, correct? Yeah, if anything, friend, you want to drift into the oblivion of Squid Game Reactions. Perhaps you should try out your new Boss rank right now and get your bitch ass up? Only it’s cold, and that is only a sign of Fall and your Treachery. Listen To That B

259 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 106 ~B A Man Because~

Um, good news, I got promoted, bad news, somebody thinks I should be in charge. Worse news, Braxton has been gone 257 days, and he was much more of a man than me. But he wouldn’t like my Day Job either or how I’m living now. B A Man Because

Friday, October 15, 2021

Chronicle 106 ~B A Man Because~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is that how I judge success? Dennis Hof, Gary Paulsen, Rodzil LaBraun, hell, Seong Gi-hun.

Alas, I am only me. I wish I could be B; that is, if I can’t have him back. Yet one more apology I owe him. I’ve spoken about choosing everything over him. Now with yesterday’s events. I would have come back, hugged him close, and fell asleep terrified and enraged. I present the question again, Sophia, is this how I judge success? If anything, I’m more like Spiderman; I don’t feel so good. This is dangerous to say but like Spontaneous, to explode. The Tomorrow War, to be thrown into another time. Spiderman drifted away. No, I don’t fear being somebody, Lady Sophia. I’ve sung about wanting to be “Successful.” Yet I’m sitting here in bed, without even a swallow of sugar-free Root Beer.

Relax, I’ll go to the store today despite waking up late. 5:00 AM is pretty damn late. I can’t make ignoring my alarm part of my routine. If I had forgotten my phone Wednesday like I had ignored Braxton, I wouldn’t even be in this mess. Temporary, the manager said. Okay, so what’s the problem? Thursday, I got promoted to a position for the holidays. Fuck, I don’t even know the title. Of course, you know I can’t stand the holidays from E-Day to the rest of the year. And they’re multiplying. What will I call B III’s leaving life? Today I don’t even know what to call myself. So why did I do it? The money, staying in the stockroom, fear of people, yep.

Dennis Hof and Rodzil LaBraun told women what to do. R.I.P. Gary Paulsen, who wrote one of my top ten favorite books, told characters what to do. Yes, Rodzil is a writer but of harem erotica. Who knows what Gi-hun is going to do? No Squid Game spoilers from me. Only last night, I didn’t dream of that. I dreamt of someone in the house again, and I got my gun and chased them into Braxton’s room. They were trapped, and if they left, I’d blast them. That’s when I woke up. I saw the guy, a black hoodie, smiling yet scared. Lady Sophia, it was me. Acceptance equals death; that’s the meaning. Success too, but Braxton isn’t here. My turn. B A Man Because

257 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

A woman at the Day Job says to eat more. Has she seen what I make? I have no qualms about my body, and if B were here, I would make sure to get a side of fries. To be honest, how does M Anime eat at all? What is B eating? “Restaurants With A B-Plus.”

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

256 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you checking up on me any? I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t, Braxton.

I remember I would have fleeting thoughts before you were gone, how this would be. Once I told your Aunt that I would listen to “See You Again” when I was mad at you. I don’t recall the last time I heard it. There was a time I would play it and others every day. It beats my ranting, raving, and rambling, wouldn’t you agree? I tried not to when you were sleeping. Which begs the question, Braxton, why are we talking this morning? Because your Daddy didn’t have any fries to stick in his mouth. The Day Job called. Braxton, how could I say no to you and yes to those PEOPLE? At the end of the day, you had to eat, nothing more.

Food has been the name of the game all this week. If you need another reason to be pissed at me, besides everything else. Yeah, I haven’t been bringing food back, or it was chocolate. Yesterday, I started to share something with Inspector Echo, but I didn’t know how to word it. I still don’t, but here it is. Truth, I haven’t been eating the way I should this past week. It’s not my intention to starve myself like I did years back. Hell, the only reason I’m still breathing, I’m Alive, is because of you and the Day Job. I love you and hate them, Funny how that works. If I survive today, then I keep my promise to you. If not, we’re together.

It’s what we in the business call a win-win. Thank you, Emily, “Just SUMM Reactions.” I’ve been subsisting off of movie reactions and eating like the contestants of Squid Game. How I wish you were here after Episode 8. I can’t justify buying a steak if I can’t share it with you. Emergence Day was an exception, of course. That was one more promise kept. Like wanting to help M Anime? Braxton, I know you love your Aunt Carolina Bound. She’s a lot less picky when it comes to food. M Anime and I would starve each other, you know. If anything, that would mean more for you. But you are your father’s son, Braxton. I made around 220 last week… Restaurants With A B-Plus

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 104 ~Suffering Is To B~

Braxton didn’t suffer in death. Little B, no, he saved that for me with his last look. Before, as he lay in his bed, belly empty. And I knew; French Fries, Popcorn, or anything that hit the floor would tempt him. Not even a bite. “Suffering Is To B.”

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Chronicle 104 ~Suffering Is To B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And if I were like all the others, that means the rules don’t apply to me.

Excuse my politics at what 7:30 in the morning? Oh, I got up on time, earlier even. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare as my final thought after “Goodnight B, Sweet Dreams.” It is that I won’t have to wake up. I dreamed someone was here… I scared them away. To think my time always took a hit when B was here. I lose even more now that I don’t have him to protect me. That’s on top of everything I do in remembrance of him. Let’s not forget that I can’t plan on crying, but it happens everyday Echo one way or another. I even told M Anime that no matter the pain, I think of Braxton. Nothing ever trumps that hurt, shame, sin.

Not yesterday’s “ear fidgeting.” I swear if I end up in one of those disgusting videos with a bug in my ear? I’m always down for whatever wants to take me out and straight to Braxton. I’ve been looking at my hand and these two marks, minor nicks. My boss slammed a piece of hardware there by accident. Um, I should thank her, It reminds me of a nip from B III. Of course, the worse thing about this week, besides Braxton being gone? The Day Job. How about as the song goes? “Takin’ the bumps and the bruises, Of all the things of a two-time loser.” Now I’ve told you about this before. How I passed out because I didn’t eat, and Braxton saved my life. Poor us, right?

My new method of “purging” since, yeah, I can’t keep my dick in my pants. Thank you, Stuff And Thangs, aka OnlyFans. And I got Carolina Bound watching too, fantastic. Ok, you remember, after starving myself, I wound up in the hospital. My Old Man didn’t want to pay, and my Ma ended up footing the bill. Yes, my shame. I’m more ashamed that Braxton had dirty water due to my health, and I swore it would never happen again. Inspector, it never did, but I starved myself again and got kicked out by my Old Man. That was years ago, but then this week… Damn, I got to be careful how I say things… Guess I’ll tell Braxton tomorrow, yep. Suffering Is To B.

255 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 101 ~B It Room 101~

Room 101, like Asgard, is not a place. The bed could be Room 101 when I want to leave it, but I’m too tired. It’s the feeling behind a closed-door knowing B’s not beyond or way beyond. It’s the knowing I have to go to the Day Job. B It Room 101.

Sunday, October 10, 2021

Chronicle 101 ~B It Room 101~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you are, you’ll want a home of your own. Red Room, Library, Study, Sex Dungeon…

This house is not a home. Hell, it’s not even your house, and I’m sorry to be so negative. All I offer is the truth, nothing more. The day always started off better with a puppy stepping on your head. No, not any puppy but Braxton. Living is torturous enough. Without B III and even yesterday at PetSmart, they didn’t have the fur-babies out there. I swear the things that become routine. I’m not talking about sleeping in late. Do you see what time it is, 5:40 AM, and what time you were supposed to be up? Desiring a paycheck? Who are you, Winston Smith, waiting for that bullet as you profess your love for Big Brother. More like the Day Job. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus 7 Fairy Tale ― A LitRPG Series
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I wish I could tell you that I have finished this list. Yeah, I’m not funny; trying not to be. How about saying my betrayal isn’t possible? That’s right, where is Braxton? My Day Job? And speaking of which, dammit, you know that this week like others, will always suck. Only don’t go asking for the caged rats. As much as you deserve it for B. 6 hrs., my boy. I’ve been trying to get you ready with all my studies of torture, Squid Game, Would You Rather, 1984, and the like. Again we’re 6 hrs in, and you see the world continues to Hell. You know your sins, Treachery, Lust, Sloth, Anger, Pride. It seems you’re moving to Envy, Fraud. Better Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading (To Be Determined)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Of course, you have no idea how you will overcome any of it. The last thing you need is a fur-baby in the mix. I talked about a dream I had the night before last, and now you know what it meant. I told Carolina Bound as much. Oh, she is also on your Onlyfans. Look at you, man, everyone else does, and what do they see? There is always another reason to miss B III. For being so small, he was easy to hide behind. Plus, with all that fur flying, it was better to keep one’s clothes on. Why look at the last man on earth? And no, not everyone considers you as such. Fading away, an Unperson, STOP. B It Room 101

252 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 099 ~I Should B Writing~

Let’s start with, I should be getting up in the morning for things other than what my soul despises. Hell, I wasn’t sleeping at all when B III needed me. A lie, the first day he cried, I told him to shush it. I need to remember. “I Should B Writing.”

Friday, October 8, 2021

Chronicle 099 ~I Should B Writing~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I might be if I wasn’t up at 11:00 AM. I’m always writing the negative.

I should be writing you about surviving the Day Job. I’m not telling THEM but you, Lady Sophia. I’m sorry about my job performance. Um, I don’t even know if I fucked up or not. I’m learning my first instinct; 9 out of 10 is wrong. But I’m sure I’ll hear it all next week. Ok, with what I was doing on Friday, January 29, 2021? Um, so It’s back to that, isn’t it? I should have been writing checks or more like dolling out the cash before then. But as always, I like someone else’s writing. The bank said I had money. Thanks, government. After that day, I had plenty of writing before “The End.” Now, every day, I wish, I wish, I wish…

R. Kelly isn’t a role model. You’re not Inspector Echo, but if you want a confession, his music is still good. Only these days I’ve been watching, more like listening to reactions of Squid Game. Why don’t I write a review of it or one of A.J. Markam’s Succubus novels? Hell, I can’t even tell you a story of keeping “it” in my pants. Well, I could have earlier this morning if you wonder where I’ve been. Besides sleeping the day away, it’s been about “Stuff and Thangs.” I made it the week, but Inspector Echo didn’t know… Time Travel. Now I won’t go into who caused the mess, well me. Yet at the moment, I don’t want to speak on ahem, Girls, Girls, Girls.

Should I be writing about how much I miss the music? How long has it been since I listened to Braxton’s playlist or The B III Roll? The only songs I have looping are “Fly Me To The Moon,” sung by Joo Won. And “Easy Street” The Collapsable Hearts Club feat. Jim Bianco and Petra Haden. Now like Spontaneous, playing in Squid Game seems tolerable. I was about to say it beats talking about Braxton… How dare I!!! I get emails about other furbabies, but whenever it comes to the application? I can’t put my name down or anything else. Even them sending me messages is one more sign of my Treachery. Like in school, I should be writing I’m sorry. I Should B Writing.

250 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 098 ~B STUPID THEY Say~

Hey STUPID, Slave, Sucker, so a day at work when I rather stay home with my dog, my best friend, my son but oh wait. When he was dying, I was working; the day after, I sat with him as he crossed the Rainbow Bridge; I worked. “B STUPID THEY Say,” yep.

Thursday, October 7, 2021

Chronicle 098 ~B STUPID THEY Say~

249 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Well, let me apologize for “that word.” How I hate “Hey STUPID, I Love You.”

But to quote another song, “I Feel Stupid.” Considering the 28th of January, when I didn’t know you were dying… I know I’m sorry, Baby B, it’s been a long day. Only am I talking about today or Monday? Why am I talking to you so early? By this time, I’d be in no mood. Oh, I’m STUPID THEY’D say for hating the Day Job denying a slave’s existence, mine. I’m STUPID for feeling bad about it like I failed in life. I let you down, B, all for them. There will never come some moment I won’t be reminded that this hatred killed you. Fuck I will never learn my lesson. This morning I came back and what Braxton; ate, slept, vented, ranted, whatever.

Because I can’t be STUPID, Braxton. At least I try not to be but of course, if you ask someone. One more thing I miss about having you here B III. There was no one to ask, and you already knew. I bet you’re glad I can’t lock you behind a gate someplace, hmm? Yeah, when your daddy is doing something STUPID like this morning. Hell, I would take that over what happened today, and I do mean Thur. It’s no use speculating. Humiliations Galore but at least this week was “successful.” Keeping the Day Job not killing anyone. Braxton, I’m not trying to be funny. In 2017 I wrote, “Lesson 050 A Comedian Died Today.” I killed you, B, my audience, 249 Days Ago.

The one love in my life who thought I could do better. I’m full of apologies, aren’t I B III? Oh, I say, you’re dead, I killed you, I know-how. But um, I’m a dumb criminal, yeah, B III. So why care what THEY say? That will always and forever make me louder, Braxton. Constantly I’m repeating reasons to love you and miss you. Braxton, you’re my quiet friend? Is that insanity? Am I being ironic? Now I know I’m not imagining things. I’ve talked about how the silence is killing me but only not fast enough. Why I’m still talking to you when I should be reading. A boy with an imaginary friend, believing in ghosts, zombies, succubi, me… Braxton, B STUPID THEY Say

Always and Forever,
Your Dad