Tag: Marquis de Joker

Chronicle 036 ~Let’s Book It B~

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One completed story, well not. I did 50,000 words, but there is so much more to that tale. Only I’m in no rush. Too busy running around the Day Job, such is my Hell, my punishment. Missing good stories and liking “bad” ones. Let’s Book It B

Friday, August 6, 2021

Chronicle 036 ~Let’s Book It B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you still can’t buy time. Where did all the time go today, you ask, hmm?

Sad hours seem long, but I have no story for you. Not one I want to tell anyway. The Day Job, useless, worthless, and nothingness. I wouldn’t even subject my memories of B to that working Hell. That’s what today was, Hell. I’ve said before that whenever I’m in pain. When I feel the world will end (what one’s more)? When I find myself in times of trouble, as the song goes. Lady Sophia, all I need say is one word; Braxton. Then what I’m going through is nothing at all. I continue to tell stories of B III’s strength, his sacrifice, and how he sailed away. Only I can’t even say I looked at his novel after finishing it; what, about a week ago?

I can’t even tell you tales about any Olympic glory. I’ve pretty much given up seeing any of it besides the opening ceremonies. If I’m lucky, I may see the closing but with this week. I couldn’t even get it up to watch wrestling this evening. As if I need one more thing to remember. I could run my mouth to Braxton for a while and make sense of everything. While I’m thinking of all the things, I enjoy all going bye, bye. How about the book I was reading this afternoon. I did finish the novelette for this week. Six Impossible Things and all. Yeah, one more story, though, of how I failed. I’m running from those things, from the world, from the truth.

Stephen King wrote, “God is cruel; sometimes he makes you live.” Desperation. That’s what I did today. M Anime has nightmares she tells me about, and she asks about my dreams. I don’t have nightmares per se because I live mine. Inception, just waking up. Sure some people have it worse. Tony Baker lost his son this week. Now that’s something nobody wants to put down on paper. Children bury parents, Lady Sophia. Time though, what have I been doing with mine? Well, other than re-watching parts of “The Tomorrow War.” Wasn’t it in June? I was all about Spontaneous, but I needed a new story. I don’t know why this one is getting to me. My life story sucks plenty. Let’s Book It B.

187 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 035 ~You B Leap It~

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Might as well jump as the song goes. I do that a lot for and at the Day Job. I would jump to plenty when B III was still around. Now I barely crawl out of bed, and I’m “lucky” if I don’t go tripping down the stairs. Will I learn to fly? You B Leap It

Thursday, August 5, 2021

Chronicle 035 ~You B Leap It~

186 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Believe it or not, Wednesday wasn’t half bad. Of course, I got a half-day somehow.

I’m sorry about my, let’s say, baby language or garbled, terrible “puns.” I wish I could tell you about anything, period B III. What is it with Olds that makes us switch how we speak in an instant? So I recall when you weren’t much taller than my shoe. Yet I jumped, I leaped B. Even when you weren’t my son? I didn’t mean to go all “Billie Jean” there, but you know what I mean. When my sister was busy doling out orders because she had so much to do. It went from “let me sleep” to carrying you around. My Olds wanted to show their home, and I didn’t have your leash, and people wanted to see the house. You jump, I jump.

Braxton, you jumped so high, you made it all the way to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, wherever. I was at the Day Job today, again Wednesday, but always I feel like I’ll be scared to death. I’m getting old in the world myself and wouldn’t mind dying on the fly. However, I know you don’t like me talking like that. How do THEY say if your friends jumped off a bridge… I don’t know if I’d follow Carolina Bound or M Anime but for you. There’s a reason I keep you above the weapons and by the closet. WWBD, always. Thursday, what would Braxton do? Now that’s something I should have jumped at, sooner, like Monday of YOUR last week. How about after your appointment?

I didn’t jump to the worse conclusion until the vet was calling me that Friday. I didn’t leap from my seat. I was nowhere near high enough to punch God in the face before asking him to save you. I wasn’t rich enough; I didn’t leap into action. There’s nothing. Only the “Space In Between Us.” B III I wanted to be an astronaut when I was young. When I got older, I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Yesterday I talked about all I wanted. Funny that I can tell you more about the circles of Hell than anything in Heaven, my B III. You weren’t here when I finished Jacob’s series. Do you think I’ll fly to you someday? You B Leap It

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 034 ~B Leave, You Asked~

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I shouldn’t jinx myself on wanting to be a father. 15 years ago, I didn’t know what I wanted, and now seven months later, I’m not sure what I’ve got. I know I’d give these days back for Braxton. Only this is “my” life. “B Leave, You Asked” but didn’t

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Chronicle 034 ~B Leave, You Asked~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and before you get on me about the title… Let’s not talk about the Basic Bitch.

Remember “Autumn Leaves,” that’s how this blog got up in the first place. Braxton leaves too, well, on Sunday, January 31, 2021. A day which will live in infamy, as does this fact. I never asked to be Braxton’s Daddy. Don’t get me wrong, Echo, B blessed me 15 years. Only I never asked for him. That’s what I was musing about at the Day Job today. Johnny Cash sings in HURT, “What have I become.” He never asked for such a life, I take it. How about Kid Rock’s ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY? “You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.” Did he ask for the life he made? A life decision; what he asked? I didn’t ask for Braxton.

While I was humiliated yet again, “Tuesday,” I wasn’t asking for ideas. Who would ask to waste their life at my Day Job for a decade, and yet there I was. Inspector, here I am. Dammit, who would ask to be sitting here in bed with no signs of a future? Let’s keep the tunes running with R. Kelly’s I WISH. “Y’all look at me and say, boy, you’ve been blessed. But y’all don’t see the inside of my unhappiness.” I keep saying Inspector who asked. Should I say it was Braxton because it didn’t matter to him as long as we were together, Echo? It wasn’t his choice to die. I made that decision, and I didn’t ask. Asking to be a murderer?

That’s why I should be quiet? No, because when I am, life gives me all these things I didn’t ask for. At the same time, if I open my mouth to speak, what good is accomplished? Wanting a job to hold me over when I’m asking for time and again what do I do with it. Well, I’m still talking to you when I should be reading because I’m damn exhausted. Looking for something to do so I got someone to love. Yeah, I was looking for Yabbos for one night, and instead, I got four paws sharing my bed for 15 years. Fuck some Yabbos. Hell, if Braxton wanted anything, it would be for me to give up sleep. I couldn’t. B Leave, You Asked.

185 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 031 ~B There Tomorrow Will~

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Since I wasn’t working all night on “My Turn to B III,” I helped myself to a movie, just what I needed a father losing his kid (oops.) I’m not looking forward to this week, when have I ever because I know. “B There Tomorrow Will.”

Sunday, August 1, 2021

Chronicle 031 ~B There Tomorrow Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I know that you wouldn’t be worried about Space if you were. No, you’d Time Travel.

It’s no secret that I don’t think of the consequences of my actions many a time. Last night I saw “The Tomorrow War” (thanks M Anime, ha). Now you’re the one that has to think about it for the next week or so. Better than a new month of treats lying in B III’s room. Even more so, that the week that lies before you. It will be one of those. I’m so sorry, bro. So what’s with the bro? While we’re on pop culture, I finished reading Succubus Lord. Will you watch Werewolves Within? I wonder what time you’ll find your bed, bro hmm? Everything reminds you of Braxton. That’s something that’s not going to change any time soon, like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 18 (Succubus Lord #19) by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Finish Braxton’s Novel (Yet To Be Titled)
    Completed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, two of them will, at least. Again no more Succubus Lord and I didn’t leave you with the failure of Braxton’s Novel, “My Turn to B III.” There is only that of watching your son die at all. Once more, with the time machine. If you could go back and save B III’s life? Chris Pratt “Dan Forester” knew he was saving his daughter’s life after… should I say it? I’ll show the video anyway. Jacob and Todd got the happy ending. Jacob is The Master of All Creation, and Todd rules the Third Circle of Hell with Zoey. I’m just full of endings. You’ll know the ending of Werewolves Within soon. I think you have a problem with closure like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Last Voter, A Great De-Evolution Novelette, Chris Dietzel
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s your endings, at least. The motivations talk about, if you believe the future will be no better than the past, you won’t want to leave your sheets in the AM ever. Case and point, where are you right now? I failed in the past, and now how does your future look? Yep, it sucks. For once, it’s not fear that stops you. It is experience. It’s what has you plotting how to get out of a particular shift this week. Because you don’t want to be some good-for-nothing fucktard… pardon my language. You can’t do something Day Job wise, yet you dream of better. I don’t know what answers to give you… Stay Alive. Only for what, always for B? B There Tomorrow Will

182 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 029 ~My Turn B III~

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I wanted to do something with the letter B, but as I finished “Braxton’s Novel,” the title just appeared, “My Turn To B III.” Only writing is the easy part. Will his story become another one that simply sits collecting dust? “My Turn B III”

Friday, July 30, 2021

Chronicle 029 ~My Turn B III~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, yet I can only imagine it feels better than finishing writing. “My Turn to B III.”

That’s the title of my latest novel. It just came to me, and don’t ask me how. I’ve never been one to understand my creative processes. But in this case, I need only tell the truth. Once again, I have to remind myself of this fact. B III is dead, and I killed him, Sophia. Dammit, I’m no better than your average Republican. Not doing anything and getting angry at everything. That’s why I had to turn off the news for a bit, and I’ve been watching The Walking Dead. Better dead than red, as they use to say right. I’m still sitting in bed. I’m sure I’ll be out once Amazon does its thing. Let me just say some stuff for pretty, pretty girls.

One in particular, or should I talk about OnlyFans or my own “Stuff And Thangs.” You know I let a lot of things fall by the wayside when it comes to NaNoWriMo season. While I completed Braxton’s book, I can’t help but be disappointed in myself. I needed B’s notes. Lady Sophia, this is my 2nd book without him, and with what I wrote about, my 3rd strike. I killed him once in reality. The 2nd time was in my Cherry books. Now I talk all about the day. It only took 1000 words to be written this AM. Will I get some sleep, hmm? If it wasn’t writing B III’s story, you should see the text with M Anime. Braxton was trying to help…

You know, with taking a few fingers here or there. Wow, I can’t accept I wasted so much cash on Dragon Speaking software I never use. I always figured it would save time, and I could do more with Braxton when he wasn’t lying in the sun. Braxton’s yard sigh. Jungle would not be overstating it. From the Devil’s in the details to some of those details might need my attention. How about Jacob being the son of the Devil; excuse me, Lucifer. I am going to miss the series I’m reading. I even missed my quota favoring B’s work. I’ll always love my boy, but I am relieved that for now, I am done. But what comes next, Lady Sophia. My Turn B III.

180 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 028 ~Million B’s To Ehh~

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It’s written that brevity is the soul of wit. With B III’s statute, should I have written a “short” story? So, I’m not funny, but I’m not a lot of things. I’m only human after all, and hopefully, I’ll have 50,000 words saying what? Million B’s To Ehh

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Chronicle 028 ~Million B’s To Ehh~

179 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day has been pretty busy writing, but of course, you’ve seen my condition before.

Well, um, I’m a bit worse for wear. I even talked to your aunt this evening, and she had to make sure I was eating. I’m not bathing, and I have barely made it out of bed, but again, you know I’m talking to you late. Past 8:30, so you should have your meds, Braxton. Speaking of some medication, I should probably take something myself. I already cleaned out those Jell-O shots. Now, how many times have you seen me drunk? You remember what that’s like. Remember the time you had the tick in your ear, and I carried you. Braxton, you couldn’t even get off the bed; that brings me right back to today. Tomorrow should be better, B. I’ll be finishing your novel.

I know what you’re thinking. For all the times I participated in NaNoWriMo, and you had to sit here and watch. I’ve written about 500,000 words total, and that’s with all of them. At 50,000 words each, that’s about ten books. In treats and French Fries, that’s not a lot. Braxton, if I had published and was successful, well, it would be all you can eat for yourself. I swear, B, I would buy a franchise and let you hang out. With that cute face of yours, let them try to complain about health codes. Or does a vest work in these situations, you think? I thought writing this book would be easier because I didn’t have to look up much of anything. Our lives.

You know how I say BLM, Braxton’s Life Matters. All about you, B, and if I wasn’t a disappointing enough Daddy, I’m a crappy writer. I’m always down, especially now, not that your story isn’t compelling. If anything, I only want to do it justice, and so far, B III. Hell, I was reading over it all day today. Well, I realized there is still a lot that’s left unsaid. Either that or I repeat myself again and again. The truth, what happened doesn’t change. Even if I were Shakespeare reincarnated, it wouldn’t help if I never share your story. This might even be the last page of it, Braxton. Reincarnation huh? I was saying I didn’t know why I wrote. Million B’s To Ehh

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 027 ~Not Another Word… B~

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I wrote so early and posted it so late. I cannot fail my son again. Only, I’ve spent all the rest of this day in bed and before that… well I time travel? As the song goes, My Lazy Ass, but I have been writing about my son. “Not Another Word… B”

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Chronicle 027 ~Not Another Word… B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I don’t make excuses. Today has been pretty humiliating. I haven’t lived it.

I am, of course, talking about Saturday the 24th. If I was a betting man, I would put money on the fact that Wednesday hasn’t been anything to talk about. Oh, I have done plenty of talking today, right here from bed. If Braxton were here, this couldn’t stand. Inspector, I wouldn’t blame him in the slightest for bitching me out. Okay, I’d tell Braxton to shush it, but I would deserve it. You heard me right about being in bed all day. The farthest I have walked was to fetch my computer. The world, Sick Sad World Inspector. I wish I could tell you it was other people; good, they may be, who had the problems. All my dicking around watching Girlfriend Reviews SIGH.

I’m not sick. Well, physically, I hope. Um, the last time I went out, and that was for BBQ, E. Mentally, the best psychiatrist I ever had was B III, and somehow he made everything okay for me. Now my head is a mess, and all I know is, I did worse today than yesterday. It also didn’t help that I got all in about the day Braxton died. To think that I could cover all of that in one chapter of his novel, about 2,500 words. If I want more shame, how about the fact that I haven’t finished the damn thing yet? When I reread this, what? Inspector Echo, do I expect to be done? If I was doing 5000 words these days?

No, Friday it was only 3100 words, so I could not watch The Olympics. You know what I mean, I diddled on my phone all evening and did some security. Speaking of which, you see the alerts that have been going off. Inspector Echo I want to say “disappear,” careful. I was reminded of that time with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Besides Braxton being gone, what else can I say? In a few minutes, I will get up and honor my son as always. I’ll eat some sour worms, get the mail, come back and read. Routine dear Echo. But I am once again failing Braxton. I’m failing everybody. B bothers me more, Inspector. How I wish he was here. Not Another Word… B

178 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 024 ~Does B Give A’s~

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As Negan would put it, “today was a productive damn day,” not that this SOB did it all. 4800 words when I should have 5000. There’s still time, isn’t it? Not with the Olympics and a pretty girl’s words. “Does B Give A’s,” if he knew me back in school

Sunday, July 25, 2021

Chronicle 024 ~Does B Give A’s~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s because Braxton was a Hell of a teacher. You’re writing a Hell of a story.

Okay, so one of those things ain’t true. I don’t know if B III has forgiven me, and you won’t know by the end of this week. If Braxton could grade you on being a parent as you once graded your own Ma. As you judge your Father. What do you think you would receive? All I can tell you is that now I’m proud of you. You didn’t quite get 5000 words. 4800 to be accurate unless you want to go for the gold. You’ll save that for the Olympics you’re going to watch, ha? Go TEAM USA! You know this country isn’t looking too good in other yep. I don’t mean to get on politics with you considering everything and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 18 (Succubus Lord #18) by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, I fucked up again, pardon my French. One more reason to miss Braxton that you should add to the novel, well, two. He never cared if you “Messed Up.” Hell, it was with his death that you might as well start singing “That’s How You Know You Fucked Up.”
This brings up just how much you will lose this week. Today you were on the verge of greatness. I’m talking about a mere 400 words from meeting where you should be on NaNoWriMo. Do you think it matters to B if you make it to 50,000 words in his memory?
It doesn’t matter to anyone else either, but it’s like you’re under a spell. As Jacob would play Only You and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 18 (Succubus Lord #18) by Eric Vall
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Finish Braxton’s Novel (Yet To Be Titled)
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Braxton was such a patient teacher. Lying there as you looked up YouTube videos in-between writing. He watched so many NaNoWriMo’s and camps and listened to the excuses you would give about the life that he should have. Do you think his life was an A+? When you’re done, will you put your work out there to be critiqued, graded, judged by the rest of the world? Don’t look at it through the lens of their being so much worse. Yeah, with these two weeks, and hopefully, you’ll catch all of the next one. Needing advice? Don’t let this day go to waste. How you’ve come so far, and you have 11,400 more words to go. Don’t make your future self-ask. Does B Give A’s?

175 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 022 ~Ringing Up B III~

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I don’t like Beyoncé, but I’m more a Survivor than looking for the Single Ladies. Surviving as I am. I still miss B III. One collar is on my nightstand, and the last one is in his bed. I’m not buying anymore and as far as women. Ringing Up B III

Friday, July 23, 2021

Chronicle 022 ~Ringing Up B III~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t wear much jewelry. There’s my urn pendant, my high school pendant… wedding band?

There’s a better chance I’ll get a dog’s collar than an engagement ring anytime soon. Carolina Bound asked me about women a couple of weeks back. I still remember I would joke with her that the first woman that B liked I would have to marry. Sorry about that B. M Anime and I were talking about jewelry too a while back. Braxton will never get to meet her. Hell, at the rate she’s been going, I might not get to either. She’s pretty accident-prone. Not that I’m looking “for something dumb to do” with her yet… But Braxton? There’s no story about putting a ring on him. I don’t remember where his first collar came from, the one sitting on my nightstand this second.

My sister gave him a shiny collar once, which broke while she was walking him. She told me she had to chase him all around the neighborhood. We were on the edge of losing him way back then. I remember plenty of people and animals liked him. Loving or Lunch? But, his original collar never let me down. I never looked at it as a mark of ownership but security. Hell, the only time Braxton was ever out of my sight was when he was in the backyard doing what dogs do. I doubt the collar would have helped B. Dammit, my kid was just too cute; somebody would have snatched him right up. I’m glad the backyard fence is standing. My neighbor’s, however, yikes.

Now Braxton’s “Hippy Dippy” collar, I called it, was a gift from the people at The Dog Stop. They must have figured he was looking pretty rough. It was Braxton’s first day of daycare. I’m sure if we were outside the car, Braxton and I would have been fighting, huh. I always made jokes about him being NAKEY without his collar. My heart stopped a few times when his nails would get caught in the ring. I swear B III was helpless and so strong. I’ve said this before, but he was my superhero. PetSmart gave him these little bandanas. The Hippy collar rests in his bed now. I can’t do it, getting another dog, finishing Braxton’s story, or liking it. Ringing Up B III

173 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 021 ~The Letter B Moves~

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What’s doing more blinking, the cursor on the page or my eyes. B’s who I miss the most right now, but that’s not what my book is saying. I can’t fail B this month as I did in January, but that requires me to get up and move. The Letter B Moves

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Chronicle 021 ~The Letter B Moves~

172 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Should I even try to tell you about mine? No, I haven’t even lived it.

Today is Tuesday, and I’m trying to stay ahead. Do you remember when you were sick? You don’t want to, right but let me get this out. If I could do it again, B III, I’d pick you up and rush you to Banfield Hospital right this second. Could they have saved you B III? Yeah, because I was much too busy. It’s been the theme of this week. There is so much to do, and when I have time, what do I do. Today I had to talk to two of the girls and get to writing your novel. We’ll get to that, but I believe you know what the answer is Triple B.
You’re not sitting under the table or in my lap.

All the time in the world B, and money, Ha. How many times did you hear me talking about writing? Now instead of books, I want to go right back to bed. It’s a miracle that I even got to the table today. Of course, by the time you read this, I’ll be right back there. Yes, the Day Job remains horrible, which is one of the reasons I am writing to you today. It’s like anyone asking me there, “How are you?” I should say “Pissed” and then “Wait.” It’s only a matter of moments before THEY do something to fulfill such a prophecy. “Daddy, what about me?” I hear you, Braxton; I do, but like the novel, I’m writing. Nothing moves anymore, son.

If it hadn’t been 172 Days, I would think you left only yesterday. I was telling Dear Future Wife, the mom you’ll never get to know, that the tears I continue to shed are cleansing. Um, it’s like I’m in ice, nothing can get to me between, bed, boobs, and you B III it’s cold. Braxton sometimes, I melt, and I go everywhere. It’s as if I overflow, but then there’s not enough of me to fill up any glass. The bed’s not going anywhere, and neither are you. I miss being a monk; that’s how you always were, my Pancake. I haven’t eaten anything. I have to keep the cursor moving; I don’t want to fall even further behind. Trying, The Letter B Moves.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad