Tag: Stupidity

Saga 114 ~B So Weak Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It takes three months for a dog to acclimate to a new place. Now two years old, which is what, twenty-four years human V’s walking into rooms, jumping on comfy spots, and wanting French fries. I’m thirty-eight and scared to breathe. B So Weak Virgil.

Sunday, October 23, 2022

Saga 114 ~B So Weak Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I get a peaceful Sleep. There’s no Sobbing. And SEX! Nope, don’t think about it, please!

But as for you? Hell! The fact that you’re up before 6:00 in the morning. Of course, thoughts of B. Is it weak to mourn my lost boy this long? Depends on who you ask. You have plenty to be broken all up about. The fact that I didn’t cave to… well, we’ll get to that. Again you were up at a “reasonable” hour. How many times have you looked up Roxanne Perez, amongst other things? But you’re not giving up. Can’t send Virgil away. One more thing that you have to worry about this week. With all the nightmares that could haunt you. It’s the staying awake for this week. And if I weren’t so busy sleeping on the loveseat ignoring Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Come Back: Reincarnation by Tina Proffitt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I tried. I avoided climbing back into bed. And you told yourself that you would go downstairs to have this conversation. Talk about being weak in the knees. Ha! Crappy joke. With all the money lifted from your wallet for medication, that didn’t work (sigh). You would be walking on air. But the boys remain, Braxton and Virgil, for you to carry. Incredible that such a belief remains that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. I’ve thought that I’m not Virgil’s Dad all this week. Always and forever, Braxton’s. That’s a fact, 100%. What is it the Christians say, upon this rock, I’ll build my church or something to that effect? Did I mention I’ve been a priest going on seventeen days? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet” Moira Allen
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The thing you’re most worried about this week. Because, you know, two, three, five, and six aren’t getting done. Tis the season for things to end up in the graveyard. A whole year has disappeared, and what do you have to show for it? Dammit, only been 6 ½ hours. What right do I have to tell you this week, oh no? Um, I should offer to give you some advice, ha. Anything that doesn’t involve some girl taking her clothes off, am I right? A release? Something better than the fear of what the veterinarian might say about Virgil Vivi? Nothing but rage, though, at the Humiliations Galore that awaits. A week in existence. But look to 2V never again, B So Weak Virgil

630 Days Without B III, Day 071 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 108 ~Remember, Be The 10th Man~

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I’m not a man of faith or a GOP politician. History doesn’t lie if you want it. Yet, for my failures, B refused to go along with everyone and believed I would make a change. And Virgil nearing two is too young. But I “Remember, Be The 10th Man.”

Monday, October 17, 2022

Saga 108 ~Remember, Be The 10th Man~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and though that’s a small group, it’s still a group where anything is possible, but Madam… (sigh).

Well, every Sunday, as a matter of fact, this is Sunday, October 9, 2022, time travel. But, Madam, I write down six things I want to accomplish. Six Impossible Things, right? How many times have I completed the list? B would be ashamed of me. Or B III should be. Hell! My son was/is The 10th Man. He believed in me when no one else ever did. And in a way, he has you and the other girls beat. Don’t forget the Man in the Mirror. Only we’ll get to him. You love me despite all my failures. Now so does Braxton, but his faith. Braxton believed and did everything he could to help. He was an old man. Virgil will be two on Thursday.

It hasn’t been three months yet. I’ve been talking about having no idea what Virgil Vivi wants from me all day. It ain’t riding in the car to get tacos. Sorry, Virgil. Today I’m not… That’s the thing, Madam “I’m Not.” People have given up on me. It’s not like many believed in the first place. Only I’m thirty-eight, sitting here worried about medications. I might as well be in a “home.” My GOP Tendencies say I’m another worthless black. Um, I was going to use another word, but I bet I’d get hit for it. These words, these words. I’m a writer. I’m somebody. But every day, if I’m not crying over Braxton, I’m watching the success of others. In the end, I’m going to die alone. If so…

Well, why not die believing as no one else does, regardless? I mean, who’s left to care if I believe I can write books, own a brothel, and have some good girl to make babies? Family. With that, I want to believe that V is my Braxton… cut to him falling off the porch today. I’m not reading about reincarnation, which I’ve said all day, but Virgil, I don’t know yet. Madam, I believe I disagree with the Man in the Mirror. Be as your father? No, I would instead be like my son. He wasn’t the first to believe, but he was the only one not to give up if “He Lives In You.” Remember, Be The 10th Man.

624 Days Without B III, Day 065 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 107 ~B Leave Virgil’s Crying~

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I swear, I thought those dogs across the street were being so loud. If anything, they were sharing their sympathies with Virgil. And with my constant whining. Where am I going? What was that noise? Why did my son have to go? “B Leave Virgil’s Crying”

Sunday, October 16, 2022

Saga 107 ~B Leave Virgil’s Crying~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I wrote about you last week. I’m not sure what I believe right this second.

Neither do you. Only when has that ever mattered. You have hope… B’s still dead. You hate saying it like that, but you need the brutality of it. It drives people to silence in a world full of noise, which we’ll get to in a moment. The quiet is indeed necessary. B III was skilled at both. What’s one more reason to miss him? He would lie there as I cried, and that was enough. All the tears in the world won’t put out the fires of Hell. You know. The Ninth Circle of Hell… Treachery. Since Friday, I’ve been thinking about how I betrayed you. Well, this body betrayed me. The quiet in the night, health concerns, a lack of moaning? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING My Best Friend, Gone: Coping With the Loss of a Pet
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Now you must honor your son. An effed-up way to do it, right? And what about Virgil Vivi? Not to sound like Joel from “The Last of Us,” but, He’s not my son, and I sure as Hell ain’t his dad.” I didn’t do right by Braxton at the end, and here’s Virgil’s beginning. Thursday or Friday, I heard Virgil crying. He’s so quiet, but without all the noise in the world, I could hear him. He wasn’t hurt, well, at least not physically. If anything, he was lonely, misunderstood, and maybe even scared. Welcome to the club. That’s how you feel when you’re not full of rage. Braxton gave me his courage. Virgil gives you his sympathies. And I give you Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet” Moira Allen
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I wish I could give you more. I’d give you peace that you won’t be fired for grabbing some girl’s hand when I reached for a piece of hardware. But still, you’re in Hell. That’s what the Day Job is, Hell. Like I said all last night, you felt sick head, shoulders, knees, and toes. And yes, you are officially out of money for the doctors. So keep breathing. I wish I could find you some great fuck… pardon my French. If you ever needed a reason to stay alive. Well, between fur babies, the want of funds, and other forms of fun, huh. Don’t forget a new book to read. Something to make you cry. Always a selfish bastard, I B Leave Virgil’s Crying.

623 Days Without B III, Day 064 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

WillLeave a comment

I call myself an open book, but I rarely find someone like Braxton, his aunt, etc. And still, I had to hide. I hate the mirror. Or turning a corner in my mind and finding… the illogical, illegal, impossible, and insane. “To Find, Learn To Hide.”

Monday, October 10, 2022

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I’d hide my cash in some underground vault, I’d flaunt it everywhere… Hoodies and jeans.

Hell! I’m like Linus van Pelt from Peanuts. He has his blanket, and I have a hoody, well, several, Madam. I know you’re not Inspector E, so this is no confession. It’s a simple fact. Something else I don’t hide and need not find, like the death of my boy. No, even if it cost me “friends.” I’ll continue to bring up Braxton. I’ve never been one to hide grief. But I do wonder how other people do it. Drugs? By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be off meds. So once again, I’m Time Travelling. Um, it’s Wednesday, October 5, 2022. And being sick? Am I still hiding from it? Have I been cured? And the day in general?

I’m always hiding from the horrors of the day in question. I don’t ever want to find myself back here ever again. Like the song goes, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” I’ve hidden the last good day I ever had so far down I’ll never find it. An impossible thing. Yes, you’re not the Man in the Mirror. Am I hiding from you today? I do apologize for that. I don’t know if you’re helping me or not. I tend to hide from positivity… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are?” Like all my other dreams of writing and of success. I read and listen to many books, yet I can’t find knowledge to save me. I’m buried in STUPID, to be honest. Such is my rage.

I told Inspector Echo today that I tried to put myself in the ground on occasion. The best way to hide from the world is to become part of it. This mind I have won’t let me. And the Sunday before last, this body demanded I do something. I couldn’t hide from the pain anymore. But I don’t want to be found, Madam. If anything, I want to find Braxton. Reincarnation yet again? Where is Virgil? I’m hiding from him, or he’s hiding from me? I’m not sure, Madam. I want to hide from everything. And the things I’m finding… nothing good, Madam. A Republican tendency, hide the good and the bad and get ugly. Sick of hide and seek? To Find, Learn To Hide

617 Days Without B III, Day 058 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 100 ~Virgil’s Goals: To B~

WillLeave a comment

I think of all the things I should have said to B III. When I first picked up V, I didn’t ask him what he wanted? A dog that wouldn’t bite me. Who knows his way around a pee pad. And who was pretty lazy. But his goals, Virgil’s Goals: To B determined

Sunday, October 9, 2022

Saga 100 ~Virgil’s Goals: To B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I never want to worry about money again or you… And you? What do you want?

Now, how many times have I answered that? And yet you continue to ask it. First thing at 5:55 in the morning. Where is Braxton? Why isn’t he here, or why can’t he come back? Then you decided to be a selfish bastard and ask why it’s so cold. Why can’t you turn on the heat yet? You’re looking at your last pill come this evening. But you’re not better. Today, hell, this week should be all about Virgil. 57 days and you have no clue what he wants. Yesterday was the first day there was no hacking cough or fear. V’s a good dog… Only this morning, he was busy licking his… what nuts, ha-ha? You got mad. Like coughing up Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Gabby: The Little Dog That Had to Learn to Bark
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’re a simple man “Ain’tcha?” Hell! If each of these things were Yabbos, you’d win. Between the Rumble Rose Anesthesia, Lily Bowman, and Chronicle 254 “Because You’ll Go B…” I think we can both agree that the world… Damn That! Your health would be much better if sex were the key to power. Not like you’ll be getting any this week. Did I mention I LOVE being a billionaire? But you, what do you want? Sugar cookies and tea? Yeah, I finished another book by an English writer, and you’re reading about dead dogs. I’d advise against it, but I was the one that picked out the book anyway. No, you can’t read any more about Yabbos. But you can always try Six Impossible Things:

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~
  1. I WILL BE VIEWING My Best Friend, Gone: Coping With the Loss of a Pet
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But none of them will bring your boy back. Then there’s Virgil. Have you considered… Nothing, I know. I thought I would feel so much better when lying on the couch twice this week. I did some reading, but last night I fell asleep during WWE’s Extreme Rules. I swear, again, only the women’s matches kept me watching. Should I say I’m sorry you’re tired? Trying the watch the whole thing was exhausting. Living even more so. You know right now what you want… but Virgil needs you. Yeah, for food and water in BRAXTON’s bowls. A soft place to lay. And so many trips outside. His goal is to live. For you (shrugs). With all the writing today, a doctor? Virgil’s Goals: To B

616 Days Without B III, Day 057 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

WillLeave a comment

I can’t say I see good people daily. I know I’m no damn good despite those 2 “things” at Petsmart. Adopting Virgil and running out to a lady that forgot a bag. No earthly good at all. With what I see. Evil Prevails Despite Good People.

Monday, October 3, 2022

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

Two-Hundred and Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not a good person. Well, at least all the billionaires I know are evil.

Which isn’t to say the poor can’t be evil. I’d still be me even if I didn’t have a dime to my name. Yes, I’m saying I’m broke and evil. As far as being a better person. I miss Braxton. Here come the tears today, Tuesday, September 27, 2022. “Make Me Wanna Die,” or instead cry, as I doubt I didn’t wake up in Hell. Well, a part of it anyway. Then there’s V. Madam; I want to do right by him, I swear. Yet I’ve said why he got his name, Virgil. He’s a good boy, a good man considering he’s going on two in October. Did I mention how much I hate paperwork? It told me his age and everything. Braxton being reincarnated…

Anyway, his name yet again. Virgil for the man who led Dante through the Inferno. Vivi, for the black mage child who stood against evil in Final Fantasy IX. Pornography? Madam, that’s how easy it is. I think Final Fantasy and then, well… If I had a dollar for every piece of Final Fantasy XXX I own. Oh, and it gets worse if we talk about other games. In case you’re wondering why I’m so late finishing this conversation today. Two words Madam, NERDY GIRLS. Wondering what I’ll tell the PERV in the Mirror Sunday. I hope it’s not that I wasted more money. No matter where the cash goes at the end of the day, I’m afraid that the evil I am will remain.

For good people like Braxton’s Aunt and M Anime, I can’t fault Cherry for not wanting to bring more children into this world. Then I turn back to Little Virgil on his pillow. Well, one of Braxton’s anyway. I know good people but dogs are the best for sure. Hell! This entire existence is based on the idea if I ever had enough money, power, and women, I could be a good man. How many times have I said fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But again, I know fathers, and I know billionaires. It doesn’t make you good. FEAR Madam. The truth, like Braxton, the thought of living without it… Just be less evil… I can try because, Madam. Evil Prevails Despite Good People

610 Days Without B III, Day 051 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 093 ~Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Maybe the doc will say I’m dying? That’s if I go today. I’m trying to find excuses. And I didn’t work so hard Friday to be ahead and not go Saturday to be behind Sunday. B III died on a Sunday. The Walking Dead? Me? “Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil”

Sunday, October 2, 2022

Saga 093 ~Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have accepted that you won’t be. At least not today. Your plans to live, hmm?

If I could give you one piece of advice today, it would be to stick to your plan. Be a Michael and not a Trevor… GTA motherfucker! Pardon the language. But that’s what happens when you wake up nearly on time. And yeah, it’s not a work day, but it sucks. Every day sucks, and you enjoy receiving blowjobs; go figure… Cut out the sex talk. Getting to the doctor early won’t do anything to relieve the anxiety. That’s not the point. Braxton was told a lie when he went to see the vet? I told him he was going to get better there. It’s October, a few weeks from Virgil’s birthday. What will you say to him about the vet.? Lies! Sweet Little Lies. Like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Cabin at the End of the World: A Novel
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least you’re eliminating one of the excuses not to do them. More coming. Now one win seems to be constant. Well, as long as you keep up the Reading Insights. Damn, Kindle ruining the streak. Speaking of streaks, you staying out of the doctor’s office. No, not today, ok? Noted, I should have gone yesterday, but I was afraid. Plus, you have food in the fridge because of me. But now, you’re no longer ahead in your writing. I thought you would have cried, checking the Day Job schedule. Will you cry with what the doctor says to you? Hell! If whoever said you were dying, it would be nothing like learning about Braxton. What about shame over Virgil? More than Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Gabby: The Little Dog That Had to Learn to Bark
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you’re a survivor. When it came to my ear, though? I wonder what drove me to the level of madness that I had no choice but to see a doctor. Harboring fears about Braxton? Even now, you wish you were dead. But here you are, dreading the incoming week. Everything, I mean every little thing gonna be all right? Another day, another lie (sigh). What will you tell the doctor about what’s wrong with you? Humiliation? The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident from Tuesday, January 11, 2021? Why did you wait 10 months to do anything? What if it can’t be cured? A fitting punishment, you know. What if you can’t pay? “Men” to dogs, right? A mob, King, God, Nonbeliever? Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil

609 Days Without B III, Day 050 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 087 ~OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS~

WillLeave a comment

A man once sang… “and there’s not much love to go around.” Can the same be said of freedom? I’m not much of a fan of existence. And to be free? With the cash, the right skin tone, and something between my legs? OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS

Monday, September 26, 2022

Saga 087 ~OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means (ahem) I’m above the law. I’ll tell you, Madam, I’ve been trying to avoid politics.

That doesn’t make me a good American. Hell! If anything, I only care about being a good father. And whatever I am to Virgil. I still don’t know what I am, to him being honest. There’s plenty of time to think about it considering we’re talking on Sunday, September 18, 2022. Why so soon? Well, you know why that is, Madam. “Freedom Ain’t Free,” right? Even now, I can’t help but wonder how much I have left after the air conditioner got fixed, Madam. I’ll never be free from this fear of my “father” until he’s in the ground… free. And when that happens, so what? I’m still screwed. Why couldn’t I use my Republican tendencies to lie? Because I want Virgil’s freedom from Hell.

You could say I wanted the same thing for my son. I freed Braxton when there was nothing more I could do. With his passing, I freed myself from the only one I ever loved. But, wait isn’t freedom the word and not love? Freedoms of horrible human beings, ha. I believe it was Simon Phoenix, played by Wesley Snipes, who said. “Look, you can’t take away people’s right to be assholes.” Now I can live with being an asshole. It’s everything else, Madam. The things I’ve been worrying about for weeks. The thermostat temperature. Goddammit, Madam! I’m talking about the things I want to buy. The fucking love below. Between OnlyFans, Twitter, etc. “All These Things That I’ve Done.” What I’ve said to women…

At least I’ve canceled myself for the most part. I’m not threatening others’ existence… GOP. Again I’m not into politics at the moment, but you know the code I “exist” by. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone else that breathes. Madam, of course, if we’re talking about the bedroom and it’s consensual. I’m a sadist. Today I’m also a slave. I am my father’s son. I look at V, and if anything, I’m his person. But as far as the freedom to do what I want? That would take money and power. And women… a cheerleader, gymnast, aspiring model, and dancer? Freedom to bring back the dead; my son Braxton. OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS.

603 Days Without B III, Day 044 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 086 ~No V8 or B3~

WillLeave a comment

I think I’m getting how Charlie’s Grandpa Joe felt. Only it’s not candy that’s getting me up unless we’re talking Cameo’s version. And speaking of movies and music, “Pearl.” Yeah, she wasn’t healthy… in the head. And the rest? “No V8 or B3”

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Saga 086 ~No V8 or B3~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what is it they say, “if you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.”

The Princess Bride? As if you have time to watch a movie. As usual, the day begins with thoughts of your son. You wish those thoughts weren’t automatic, signaling indifference. Is that a win for Virgil? You’re still learning his language. Hacking up his lungs. Language-wise, it means he wants something. Hell! Maybe for me to remember his name? Yes, I called him Braxton yesterday. More proof of something being very wrong with me. Because of me, you’ll think about Pearl, Maxine, AKA Mia Goth. Um sorry? More like Fiona Belli from Haunting Ground. But for now, your only sin is dicking around at six in the morning. My crimes… what did I talk to Inspector Echo about? Oh, it wasn’t these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Dog Under The Bed 3 by DJ Cowdall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book… SOON
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Speaking of failures rather than successfully reading another book. It can’t be healthy to keep reading about dogs. At least in the last three books, the dog has lived. People, however? Well, women. This gets us back to what I’ve been watching and what you’re doing now. Trying to stave off madness, misery, and the macabre with some big mammaries. Now you know that’s not healthy. But with how I was talking Saturday and what you’ll dread all this week. Wednesday is not going to be a good day for you, okay? Don’t lose hope. Yeah, we might finish this conversation on time instead of seeing how gross you can be. Or the book you want to read. Success as a failure. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Cabin at the End of the World: A Novel
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Why do you feel so bad wanting to read something else? The books that haven’t been about dogs were somehow justified. Amazon’s damn reading challenges. To feel accomplished doing something when there has been nothing. Can’t take care of yourself. That remains to be seen, but it doesn’t look good… so far. Obsession over everything but life and love. Lust, of course. But between Virgil and the air conditioner, you’re not naked… yet. Perhaps you should catch up with OnlyFans since all that writing’s done? How about writing down the dream I had, or you could go and see a doc, but you can’t or won’t. You can at least check. Because Sprite and chicken noodle soup… um really? Other food? No V8 or B3

602 Days Without B III, Day 043 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 080 ~ Love’s Not Design But Evolution~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t know how to love on January 11, 2022. I think about what happened to my son on January 31, 2021. Always. Love can take seconds or a long time. To love yourself… First, I need to learn to live, but now I exist. Love’s Not Design But Evolution

Monday, September 19, 2022

Saga 080 ~ Love’s Not Design But Evolution~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I think that would finally be enough for me to love myself. Not in Braxton’s time

I’ve said it before that I wasn’t happy even with Braxton. To save us some time, I hate myself, but I love my little Braxton. It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but “I love him like pancakes.” Hell! Pancakes sound good, but I don’t love myself enough to go get some today. Saturday, I was much too concerned, getting Virgil’s vittles and Subway. I can’t say I love him yet. I continue dealing with reincarnation and the like. It will take some time. Yeah, loving myself? Isn’t that what I’ve been doing all this morning before seeing you? The primal needs of man. A decent way to say I was jerking off, well edging anyway. And on today of all days. Shouldn’t I be ashamed of myself? Well…

For what? I have no love for the queen. I still believe this country could do with fewer politicians. That would make themselves kings or queens. Love for political parties or people. Oh no, ha. Power of the Pussy. Talk about being old and evolving from Roobie Breastnut’s song, ok. Don’t get me wrong, Madam, I do believe in love at first sight. Again where was I this morning? In bed moaning over some gymnast… on my phone. There was “Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders.” I would have been 26 when that movie arrived… Incredible. Though I hear you, Madam, that’s enough about the porno. But something that I love? Power, Pussy, and Pets. People, “we’re not built to kill,” but to love Madam J?

My son taught me more about that than anyone. Love can be learned but unlearned. That’s how it is without B. Everything in my body went out of whack. Because, for fifteen years, I had to evolve into someone capable of being his father. Came, saw, and all the rest. 161 days, so about 5 months and some change and now. At this moment, it’s been 6 days and 8hrs since the last time I “had a release,” and what’s stopping me besides busy hands? Because there is no power within them. I have not evolved enough to love, forgive, or… well, when it comes to my “father.” Braxton might have been designed by “God,” but loving me, that’s evolution. Love’s Not Design But Evolution

596 Days Without B III, Day 037 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will