Month: January 2018

Lesson 195 ~What A Wonderful Word~

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Friday, January 12, 2018

Lesson 195 ~What A Wonderful Word~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, I don’t think I’m quite as bad as President Trump; that right there, words that I hate to see on the page and even worse that I feel I can relate to him. My fault am I right, is it because it’s partly honest, am I ashamed, is it the fear I keep trying to deny, or the fact that anyone can know with a Google search and it all started out with one word, I’ve said it enough, SKEEVY.

In my life, there have been three books I have failed to read, “The Moonstone,” I’m not sure on the author, and I don’t want to bash the wrong one with my words. “The Lord of the Flies” by William Golding, I know plenty of people that say it was a classic, but I couldn’t get fifty pages in and while it still sounds fascinating, I’ve never picked it up again. The Bible, well not all of it but I have read parts, and it genuinely makes me feel better… about my writing Lady Sophia, why should I be ashamed of the evils that I put down for the world to see at any point?

Is it shame though, I felt it, I was sick to my stomach last night when I went to check out “she who shall not be named” maybe she has a point on a lot of things, and the only reason I went was curiosity about her blog dynamics considering my own. I didn’t make that mistake during the Harmonic War and trust me I had much more to consider but “she who shall not be named” was an actual acquaintance of mine. Perhaps this is what bothers President Trump and myself so, knowing the thoughts of people you give a rat’s ass about, it’s what makes me a reviewer nobody cares what I think, a word is a word, a point towards greater sales.

True or not, a word I feel is more than that, I don’t know whether I heard this or dreamed it, but Words Destroy More Than Bombs, you know that is going to be a new rule. No one “person” should have all that power, and then I think to myself, I look at myself, I believe in a word, SKEEVY, and I have been trying to define Will ever since my name, shall I say What A Wonderful Word.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 194 ~You’re Never Fully Dressed~

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Shouldn’t it all start with a smile, my own being a mask and hers being just another bit of gift wrapping and don’t I have a habit of wrapping gifts for myself, but it’s not “the day,” Valentine’s or even Christmas? “You’re Never Fully Dressed.”

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Lesson 194 ~You’re Never Fully Dressed~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, but I ain’t smiling either, who knows maybe tomorrow, let’s just say at the moment my new year’s resolution is in question, though I have bought plenty for a potential submissive, none of it leather. To be honest, I have never cared much for leatherwear. I’m one for soft, silky, skimpy, sexy, or should I be more specific maybe?

Does it make me weird that I prefer women dressed to buck naked, not that I have anything against nudity mind you, and it’s probably a lot more bizarre that I have two lady friends telling me I have an impeccable fashion sense? If it worked for Emeric and Ivory in Pam Godwin’s “Dark Notes” why can I not indulge myself, I for one don’t believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen or even the bedroom but by my side. Okay so who am I trying to kid with the outfits I purchase for a submissive, I don’t plan on leaving bed for some time with the right submissive.

Currently, my pornographic passions have focused mostly on CastingCouch-HD and Brutal Castings; perhaps it feeds three of my most prominent fetishes, voyeurism/exhibitionism, BDSM, and Interracial. It’s the clothes though; no secret I have always been one for a girl in a short skirt, or a summer dress, but now it’s, even more, dresses and lingerie, and I have been racking my brain trying to figure out why. I have a few professional model Pinterest, honestly enough but the idea that a woman just can’t wait or I can’t, clothes covered in cum, and especially using a girl’s panties or bra to tie her up *sigh*…

I never understood the whole cover every part of a woman up, does that make it more tempting, to me I both like and despise a tease, girls who deliberately entice men and then mad when men mention it. Now I’m not saying any guy has a right to put his hands on a women unwarranted (Ravishment will be another discussion) but, you know what nevermind, the media must be getting to me these days.

My point is I like women’s clothes, on women, it’s like the wrapping before you get the gift but sometimes the wrapping itself can be beautiful with a smile because when she’s with me being honest, You’re Never Fully Dressed.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 193 ~I Need A Raise~

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Well at least I never considered myself a cave woman, though I may speak like a caveman at least I’m making noise but how did they scare the beasts back then, I’ll tell you with such thunderous voices. “I Need A Raise,” money, and guns say more.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Lesson 193 ~I Need A Raise~

Forgive Me Echo,
No Fear, I mean by the time I get to the car and the music is blasting out so I can’t hear myself in my head when I’m sure that they have forgotten about me when my courage returns that I often mistake for some great insanity.

I need to raise my voice Inspector Echo, and no I don’t mean in a mean way, as the song goes “I think I use to have a voice, and now I barely make a sound,” I know what I sound like singing… yikes but just everyday speaking. Now it’s funny that I say that when there are plenty of devices to help with projection and still I damn near have a panic attack every time I have to page someone at work or speak on the radio. I keep saying I want the world to hear me and then I have nothing to say, I’m stupid, or a clown.

To most people, I damn sure ain’t a man when it comes to talking in the drive-thru or on the phone, and I don’t bother to correct them at all. “Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch,” as one of the hottest actresses on the planet said, and I know surely enough I whine like a bitch. It could be that I’m ashamed of who I am, have I forgotten what it means to speak like a man, did I ever know in the first place Inspector Echo.

“Fathers are supposed to show sons how to be a man in the world, but I guess the world is too much for you.” ― Grotesque, Fear The Walking Dead

My father gave into aggression, to the dark side, and every day I find myself giving into that, it’s when I feel such surging rage that my courage is at its highest or is it passion? That would be my greatest sin, and I could go on and on for days, but I’m also mad at the fact that I have to keep myself penned in all the time because I feel like I might hurt someone, you know more than most that my words will someday lead to new actions. Perhaps I feign cowardice to keep the monster inside me pacified to a degree.

I ask your forgiveness Inspector Echo for my quietus when it comes to my speaking, stupidity, identity, weakness, and all my madness; I still have a voice that one day *sigh* money is power, it speaks, I Need A Raise.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 192 ~Not The Invisible Man~

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I said once that if I could have any superpower I would like to be invisible, doesn’t honestly help with the ladies and no not for the reasons you might think but then again knowing me. “Not The Invisible Man.”

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Lesson 192 ~Not The Invisible Man~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, I am here, I am still right here, and you are one of few people that might be comfortable with that sentiment being honest though I wonder where you are. When we’re apart, while you’re dreaming right here next to me when you look at me what do you see?

Maybe I’m too touchy-feely as they say, both emotionally and physically, an exact opposite of Rogue from the X-Men or as the song goes, more than words. I’ve always said, if you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the job don’t touch me, don’t stand so close to me and then here he is and here you are. Maybe I’m afraid that, invisibility had become my superpower and it was the power I chose, so much so that I felt you might never find me and when I noticed you, was I creepy?

So it’s in the moments that I don’t have to wonder, while I’m lying here dreaming, and then I feel your touch, and I know that I don’t have to dream alone anymore. The first time we kissed and then the kiss after that and the one after that, no words, no sight, only the touch, the taste, and I behold the most beautiful thing ever. When I feel your arms wrap around me from behind and I know I’m alive, I’m a man with the most beautiful girl, I’m yours, now and always love.

Back to back, side by side, how do you do it, I feel everyone’s eyes on me, but when you don’t look at me at all, I become the most real, the most like myself, and I’m still trying to figure that out. I’m not the invisible man but what power must I have, whatever do you see in me every day and I know I must ask you all the time, I want to, I need to, and when I don’t you just understand.

You take my hand in yours; you lie beside me, you treat as though I’m air, more than this like you rather drown in me and I know I can’t take my eyes off you, or my hands but I try because with you I see myself. I know I want to be that man worthy of you every time I look into the mirror when I look into your eyes, so what’s my power if Not The Invisible Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 191 ~I Will Go The Distance~

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I wish I could find the starting line once again but shouldn’t I be looking for the finish line, or maybe there is just so much more race to run, don’t know where I’m going, neither do I most days. I Will Go The Distance

Monday, January 8, 2018

Lesson 191 ~I Will Go The Distance~

Fourteenth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, I’m on my way, at least that’s what my dream seemed to allude to and yes I do believe in visions which is why I found this one so scary. You know I’m not usually awakened from such a desperate necessity, so when I am, it often means something, though I haven’t been fired from the day job.

Hell, even the general manager told me if I’m not happy I should leave and I nearly broke out with that “I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to g… I got nothin’ else.’ Only I’m no officer, and I’m not a gentleman, not when the right girl… okay, a girl I want comes along. There are days I always feel like I’m running you know and there isn’t some light at the end of the tunnel just a brief respite here and there. I suppose the good news is I’m always moving because if you’re not you’re dead but I’m not getting anywhere; another regret, I should have told Indiana Gone, I didn’t get anywhere today despite what my car says.

Now, of course, the first step is always the hardest but next, even if you can’t see it, you have to know there is something out there and Madam Justice I honestly do. The thing is I’m always resting and if I’m moving, well in my dream I slept the whole way, I lost some key I was given, and then my luggage was lost, so much so I spent time this morning just looking through all my travel bags. Is that what my dream was trying to tell me, that I have to get out and I have always been one of those who would instead leap than just step, and cue the Xbox One Jump ahead commercial right?

Every morning I step, but this place must be like a maze and not trying to get all racial because how much do I know but, the black man must fly to hat the white man can walk to, that’s from Chris Rock. So we see comedy is not my thing from a long time ago but writing, just like any of my stories I find where I want to go. As my mother said I would find my way and as the music swells, may I be as strong as Hercules, may I have that kind of heart and I Will Go The Distance?

“For a true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.” ―Hercules

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 190 ~Hot And You’re Cold~

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I’m so cold and when I start to warm up… it’s a disease this thing called lust but there is a fire burning in my mind, or a single lightbulb, but it’s not all dark in there and if the dog can enjoy the sun. “Hot And You’re Cold”; not a meteorologist

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Lesson 190 ~Hot And You’re Cold~

To Will:
No Fear, and Happy New Year, okay let’s be honest for once, it’s a new year, and you’re still here, a benefit of being in the dark I suppose. Speaking of honesty, remember when you wanted to be a weatherman, the epitome of fake it to you make, this year you could use some of that when it comes to being a writer, a co-worker, and maybe just maybe a real man truthfully.

As a writer, it’s hit and miss, your brain will be on fire with all the new ideas but the idea is the virus, and the words are the cure, so the question becomes why aren’t you working, well look at you now. The real Hell is the day job, and how do they said, when “Hell” freezes over, are you the only one that knows anything about Dante’s Inferno, and they wonder why you don’t talk. You must be cool, calm, and collected, almost ice for that hard cold cash. You need plenty to survive, to pay for the fever that will possess you.

Talk about manhood right but isn’t one of your resolutions to meet someone in the biblical sense, you still have time, but like us talking right now, you have to get better, there is no tomorrow. Depression can be a real bitch too and I know you feel like you could use a good cry or any other sort of release am I right? If anything I’m stressing this. Unfortunately, you can’t stay toasty warm no matter what. Not in your bed or your hoody. What about a nice warm shower which I think I will recommend. The day job will come whether you like it or not and the stress has been getting you.

So since I won’t be getting that from “Alice In Wonderland” yeah that’s a discussion for Dirty Diana I will instead take another practice, six impossible things this week, why don’t we count them Will:

1. Replace the lightbulb
2. Don’t You Laugh, Don’t You Smile, Don’t You Make A Funny Face, At Work Silence Is Better Than Placation
3. Keep It In Your Pants
4. Work On One Of My Novels
5. Find Out What’s Wrong With The Blog
6. Talk To A Girl; No Get Her Number Will

Do any of those seem possible this week for you, all of them should be, but I know how you feel, and lukewarm isn’t enough anymore and aren’t you sick of the cold, but why so Hot And You’re Cold

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 189 ~Need A Bigger Boat~

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Is a sin in the thought or the action, if anything for so few that I genuinely commit, Hell is growing pretty big, and what a way to start off a Happy New Year, am I right, not usually. “Need A Bigger Boat”; I’m not a shark, a devil or anything worse

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Lesson 189 ~Need A Bigger Boat~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, Hell takes a long time to build; call it a revelation, an epiphany, the ramblings of a desperate man perhaps, no, that’s what I’m discovering, that Heaven finds itself lost in despair that it damns us all. No, what I find Hell to be Lady Luna is greedy, and in that greed, you see other sins but also the ability to be selective and exclusive.

Honestly, what would I know, I’ve never been to a club though we can add that to my to-do list as in I want to own my adult dungeon someday, just another production brought to you by “Second Circle Creations.” So back to Hell, think the Cold War, nukes in the closet amongst other things. Everything we horde and we just pack it in only we need more room. Fear plus Hope equals courage, but if you asked me the definition of Hell at this moment and knowing me I have several, Hell is merely awaiting the greatest fear you’ll ever understand, doing so for all eternity and then some.

Maybe that’s what I’m doing these days, and the thing about it is, I consider myself an open person… careful, every time I think something like that I think of her when I hear the song “Something Just Like This,” when I cast her in the center of Cocytus, and even with the current news. You see Luna just because there is a stairway to Heaven and a highway to Hell doesn’t mean you’ll find your way in which is why I feel Hell must constantly expand and Heaven, well, I don’t know, but we hide our sins don’t we? I’m trying not to anymore, “trying,” I informed “Indiana Gone” I feel strange saying try, no I do, then again.

I remember when my sins were small enough to hide in a trashcan on one slip of paper and look at me now, I have books full of secrets, my sins scattered across the Internet, a closet full of clothes just waiting for some girl to fill them. Luna, it’s cold outside, so why am I burning up right now?

So what have I learned today, I’m picky when it comes to women, secrets, the life I choose to lead but I don’t know what to blame for my loneliness though I have plenty of room and yet even with everything I have cut off and deleted. Somehow I think we Need A Bigger Boat.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 188 ~Let’s Remake The World~

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The ideas have to get out some way, but I don’t want to be the only one that ever sees them but if anything I’m not a nice guy so is there such a thing as a dirty word? Let’s Remake The World, but not like that.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Lesson 188 ~Let’s Remake The World~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, as we both know I hate change be it success or failure, first you have to put yourself out there and for now, there are three ideas in my head

LIGHTEN UP, it’s about a killer that operates with fire, I’m sure there’s one done before, but it’s always good news when I can’t honestly think of a comparison. The world nowadays lacks originality without a doubt but how dangerous it is to be different in this day and age or any for that matter. Especially when all my works come back to sex, I imagine a woman being burned by the spotlight, flames if she doesn’t do what she’s asked. Yeah, I’m looking to be a banned book like my current read “The Director.”

What was it I said about being original though, I read a story prompt about a father who has four daughters that all represent the four horsemen of the apocalypse; I think that’s worth a bit of research Lady Sophia. I can’t say I know where I’m going with it yet but when has that ever stopped me before, honestly my last story just went on and on, and I still have yet to answer the question, what I’m going to do with it. There are still bad memories of my whole math fiasco, and that is what my novels are, just moving the problem from one place to another without any real solution naturally.

CRIME’S UP, yet another working title of course, but I was thinking about a hitman that would be up to kill anybody even if he must make them indulge some sin to earn their death. Of course, most of these crimes will be second circle offenses, how we are so influenced by what is going on in our lives as of late don’t you think? One story about the fire because it’s been so cold, another from Pinterest, now that was quite a scare worth writing about, and a third because again I’m fighting my nature as always and of course I’m quite the sinner.

As for the novel I’m reading as I said, Lily White got banned from Amazon and apparently everywhere else how can I expect to make money if I follow the same path? Being a writer though Lady Sophia isn’t just about the money; shall I have much higher aspirations, a thought Let’s Remake The World.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 187 ~Stacy’s Mom Or Hers~

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Giving the term, you’re a good mom a new meaning but her being a mom isn’t exactly what I’m looking for, but at my age, I need a lot of money. Maybe a tad more maturity, Star Wars, The Hunger Games, etc. “Stacy’s Mom Or Hers” was a fangirl, hopefully

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Lesson 187 ~Stacy’s Mom Or Hers~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, I like to think I’m equal opportunity when it comes to women… well okay, I’m not, but sometimes a particular fetish captures my eye and at the moment that would be MILFS. I think I mentioned yesterday I still believe in a thing called love and yeah I’m into a “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” from time to time but there is something to be said about older women, hell I’m not a young man.

I see “age appropriate” girls all the time but when an older woman flirts or wants to show sex appeal and beauty… I had a mom send me a nude picture once, face and all and there are plenty of other wives and moms that just show off. Maybe it’s a good thing men aren’t like women when it comes to these displays or as always I could just be a deviant, but then again I’ve never asked for a nude picture. Except this one “she who will not be named” but she was an ex-wife and a dog mom (yeah straight up bitch) but she was bragging about being on a nude beach, topless.

Anyway the fantasy today is pretty much what if one of these women practiced what they preached; I thought about having this one as a submissive, but she’s a good girl. I always fall for good girls, using the line once, “if you’re going to feel guilty, you might as well do something to feel guilty about.” Besides banging sisters it’s always been a fantasy to do a mother and a daughter, and I’m not even close to that, the things we see in porn daily, rots the brain right?

At least I’m not seen as the gay best friend and most see me as relatively harmless but let’s say I have matured somewhat but if I ever have a few million dollars… yeah I’m screwed come that payday, preferably by an 18-year-old, yay 2018. Still the idea of having some older woman that has a man, kids or both and making her feel like some young slut she might have been in her youth?

The woman I end up with will probably be the hot mom of the neighborhood, another reason I won’t be living near people, but I would love to show her off. Then again in these types of situations, keep it in the closet, okay I’ll stop with the Michael Jackson playlist, but we all know that somebody’s got it going on Stacy’s Mom Or Hers.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 186 ~Something To Believe In~

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Have faith, but I left the church so long ago, once Santa was gone well Jesus and I lost touch and speaking of touching why don’t I have so many female friends, and don’t get me started on love. “Something To Believe In”

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Lesson 186 ~Something To Believe In~

Forgive Me Echo,
No Fear if you don’t, as much as I would like some quick forgiveness and this is not explicitly the idea of being unworthy; to this day my parents will never forgive me for being born. Such a way to start off the new year right; I want to know absolution for the things I have believed in and the things I’m going to, my great sin.

Is it innocence or stupidity that I believed in Santa until I was nine years old, then I made the mistake of stealing that wonder from my sister. What about believing in God, Inspector Echo, I COULD be going to Hell for plenty, but this is the least of my concerns. Personally, I always considered myself second tier in Hell, that would be lust hopefully. What about faith, hope, and love, we also mustn’t forget about power but do I still believe in a thing called love… I’m afraid so.

I’m also afraid of turning out like Harvey Weinstein, I believe I grow tentacles when it comes to particular women, and I foolishly presume they want me, but maybe that’s a conversation for “Dirty Diana.” I speculated that when I was playing a gentleman, a note here, a comment there, I was making my best impression of a skeeve pervert, but we’ll talk about things I can’t let go of next week maybe. How about the time I proposed to Jessica Rey, (Power Rangers Wild Force)… how old was I, and perhaps it doesn’t help that I bought Mia Rose stuff, or tried to because I thought I could get a pornstar to like me?

It’s called being a man or a fool, and as the song goes, what a fool believes and again we go back to love, I hope that there is some girl out there for me. How about the fact that I contend that I can be a leader of men someday. Apparently, you didn’t see me at work today, is it wrong that I hope two of those guys get fired, not that I’ll let the shame go anytime soon.

What about the hope that somehow or another something will happen tomorrow and that I won’t have blue balls. Forgive me Inspector Echo; I apologize for having faith in myself about anything at all, that I have faith in me, whether I find forgiveness or not, mad or false hope there’s Something To Believe In.

I Will Have No Fear