Tag: Honesty

Lesson 325 ~Takes Two To Tango~

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What if I were to put my phone down, there are some things you can only learn from practical experience, and you don’t want any distractions… love is the most important, but it’s a great big world outside. Takes Two To Tango I know that’s right.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Lesson 325 ~Takes Two To Tango~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, when you find out my movie knowledge isn’t unlimited, and even my playlists won’t last forever but speaking of forever what else is there to do with this thing called love? Maybe I got lucky… us meeting when we did and while I wouldn’t mind the kids living Cobra Kai besides watching it on YouTube Red *sigh*, I suppose I’d be learning right along with them maybe.

I might be a bit freaked out if they turned into sports enthusiasts, except for as I said Martial Arts, Running, and the Olympics. Of course, I want to see the world with you, and taking a class together, do they still pass notes, and we can always go for a run “Silver Linings Playbook” style. I never learned how to ride a bike and… hmm interesting that while I’m trying to think of things that make me put my phone down I get why we’re usually on our behinds. A dance class maybe, while I did learn for our wedding, “Dirty Dancing” was a bit cliché that’s why we performed that number from Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” was that before or after our lightsaber duel and zombie skit, such are weddings.

If we’re going out to eat why not Dave & Buster´s, now honestly you were always more than a gamer girl to me, or a “Dancing Queen,” yeah besides 40’s and 50’s Nuclear Pop, and maybe a Lambada class, I am a teeny weeny into disco. No wonder Facebook considers me a moderate, we could always go to a shooting range too, and it would probably help to have you around, a black man near a gun these days and here I am with an angel. Yeah, I suppose my comedy could do with some work but no comedy shows; let’s go to a museum, walk through a bookstore, some scientific inquiry.

Plenty of stuff I enjoyed alone and with you… the world seems broader and then again smaller, it’s like when I introduce you to something I have loved for so long, and I get to see it through your eyes, and it can be so big and beautiful all over again. I get to see you as a friend, lover, wife, mother, and maybe that’s what scares me, the love I feel the love you feel for me I need it to spread so I can live and when we can share a love of something… or I could only love your butt; Sir Mix-a-Lot fan I’m afraid.

It all starts with me asking you to dance though and when did we first do that my love, they say, Takes Two To Tango.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 324 ~Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material~

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I think someone should put this in the wedding vows, maybe I will, but I’m getting ahead of myself, zombies will walk the Earth before I end up wrangled up at some point but I could get lucky thus this rule. Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material hmm

Monday, May 21, 2018

Lesson 324 ~Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material~

Thirty-Third Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, after you see me, the real me; the religious need gods to hold them accountable but I’m just a man keeping the beast in check and waiting for humanity to mess up so I can break this “Rusty Cage” and run. I know I don’t look like the type to do I, a fighter, a survivor, though they reiterate it’s the quiet ones you have to watch… how much do I hate that saying, seriously?

I can’t look people in the face most days; I’m only making it day by day because the rules of this world would have me as a second-class citizen, Jim Crow, though I don’t mean to sound all racial. Like John Dorie on “Fear The Walking Dead” I was having a conversation with myself, and I was saying how people want to stomp in your face, but the moment you rise and don’t prescribe to their ideas of you they freak out. This day and age, thinking these things can get a person in a lot of trouble I know it, but I’m going to rise someday, might take to the end of the world but I will, and I’ll survive and these other people…

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.”
George Orwell, 1984

Maybe that’s why I attract damaged girls, survivors; if there is one thing that I have learned from every zombie show, movie, and video game, it’s that people are the real enemy. As much as I have dreamed of being one of them I’m starting to think that it’s like a plague. Zombies eat people, and it’s like everyday people are from “Pontypool,” and nobody wants to listen, to understand and I am a firm believer that someday the dead will walk the Earth; if we’re not already. Madam Justice it could be the idea that I think the only way I’ll get a girl is if “It’s The End Of The World” as we know it and I feel fine, but yeah I don’t want to be lonely. Still, I do enjoy my dog’s company, but people do need people ain’t that something huh?

“Fight The Dead, Fear The Living” ― The Walking Dead

To be less scary I like girls that can be quiet, that read, that relish sitting in the dark (movies). Isn’t one of my biggest fantasies, only to lie in bed with a girl on a sunny day, listening to nuclear pop, Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women, Watch World War Three on Pay TV, etc. Throw in getting energized by sex, violence, and of course quiet and I’m in love; she can endure this world, at times even enjoy it but she can’t be dead like them. Hell “Dead Like Me,” if she can make me feel alive Madam Justice, Is She Zombie Apocalypse Material.
I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 323 ~A Battle Of Wills~

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I feel like making words, I feel like making love, I feel like making money and why can’t I decide which one is more important, hell if it’s not writing then how dare I call myself a writer. “A Battle of Wills” and I should want to be the writer

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Lesson 323 ~A Battle Of Wills~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, when you don’t know who I am or who you are, I swear it’s just a sum of your parts, some more than others which explains the unfortunate six impossible things not done:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 64* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 71* No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Edit At Least Three More Chapters Of My Novel
Partial Completion (Didn’t Read Out Loud And No Chapter Titles Yet)
4. I Will Complete “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For Avengers: Infinity War
Failed
6. I Will Edit Thirty-Four Poems (Poetry Book)
Failed

Willie we’ll call it 50/50 and why did I use the name Willie, because maybe that name is synonymous with failure and haven’t I and I am hoping that you will not follow in my footsteps, every day you’re supposed to get better. I tried explaining it to my dad when I was maybe in middle school or high school, it’s like you’re going crazy, not multiple personalities mind you… you know you’re blowing things out of proportion when you’re on WebMD looking up things like Schizophrenia. Maybe the world’s going crazy, and you feel you need to go mad with it, and I can’t tell you whether you’re right or wrong, but you survive.

“The only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness.” ― Victor Strand, Fear The Walking Dead

Willy survives; if there is one constant in this world it’s sex, and here we are day 71 and though you are successfully keeping it in your pants, how about Leonie Saint, Classy Cassy, Pocahontas Jones, Momokun, “Super: Ex Heroes” and currently Whispers In The Dark. For somebody trying to avoid temptation I’m fantastic at finding it and what about, yesterday… we talked about it before, that mom in the parking lot, making friends with people, giving money to pretty girls and I respect women, I truly do, but I feel stupid. I know you hate those stories about “stalkers” and guys being rejected, like what’s his face Dimitrios Pagourtzis because he was quiet, he liked a girl, so on and so forth and your boss already thinks you’re crazy.

Will has to work, Will is who you are, because while you’ll never run out of things for people to call you, your name Will is something that will know remembrance, and swear one day you’ll start that list of reasons to write. How about stop making mistakes and you know what I’m talking about, your freaking blue balls are evidence of that, if you want your hands to be busy then write. You’ve got plenty of Noveling to do and all the time in the world, no excuses, no propositions, no words that are going to get you in trouble in the eyes of the wrong people, too late for that; six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 71* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Edit At Least Four Chapters Of My Novel
4. I Will Complete 50% Of Whispers In The Dark
5. I Will Post A Review For Avengers: Infinity War
6. I Will Edit Sixty-Five Poems (Poetry Book)

Decide the man you want to be, not the failure, or the man that thinks with the little head, be the man that is going to have his name on a book and not only in CreateSpace or some independent hack. You have plenty of enemies, but it starts with you A Battle Of Wills.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 319 ~Keep Your Head Up~

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Perhaps putting one foot in front of the other is the best thing I can do which is why I’m always looking down, maybe I’m looking for a spot to start digging or a thousand other things but shouldn’t I see ahead. Keep Your Head Up.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Lesson 319 ~Keep Your Head Up~

“I’m sick of taking care of everything, paying bills, making peace and plans and keeping my chin up. God, I am so sick of my chin being up.” Angel 04×02

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, even if I don’t take your advice or maybe you’re just like my manager, in one ear and out the other; you don’t know how often I wish that it was that simple. Like that song from “Frozen” though to be honest I prefer Sam Tsui’s version of “Let It Go/Let Her Go” but anyway my point is my boss a fucking liar. I remember everything, like a damn elephant I never forget; I’m my mother’s son (her sorority emblem so relax.)

My sin is not talking about weight; I get enough of that with “Cherry,” but people all my life have told me I have a big head, and when it comes to women yes I certainly agree. Only I’m not talking about that particular sin either if it is a sin at all. No Inspector Echo today’s sin is as physical as it is mental so long story short, “for the life of me” with everything I do remember I no longer know how to keep my head up. I’m not trying to be all creepy like Monday, remember what I was worried about, but I spent all of today with my eyes glued to the floor, though I fought it for a while maybe.

I’ve been contemplating what I was looking at, so many theories like, if there exist a Heaven and Hell, I know I don’t belong here so maybe I only wanted to go home, no worries Inspector Echo I’m very much alive. It could be the idea that the tears don’t fall but they want to, and grief makes more than hearts heavy, I was reading those “Thirty-Six Questions to fall in love,” and I think one of them was when was the last time you cried. I could be readying myself for the hangman’s noose, I confess to you my sins Inspector Echo but if you truly knew me, if anyone and what about my pride again, Rule 15 “I Take My Own Lumps” if I go down I accept my fate, big balls anyone?

How about the idea that I have so many would be queens in my life and as I tell “Okay” heavy is the head that wears the crown but I’m no king, no prince, maybe a jester’s hat would suit me. Now I could go on but should I only ask do you forgive me for my fear of not wanting to face people, my feelings of being worthless, or the countless theories all of the above, my neck is killing me trying to be better, Keep Your Head Up.

“There’s a saying — the pessimist looks down and hits his head.
The optimist looks up and loses his footing.
The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.” ― The Walking Dead, The Well

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 318 ~Can Pencil You In~

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Homework I could see myself getting into, I can’t remember anything of Algebra which means any future kids of mine will either be super smart with their mother or might need a tutor but anyone learning to love… “Can Pencil You In”

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Lesson 318 ~Can Pencil You In~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, even if I don’t know the right answer, understand the question or I tend never to give up, I suppose you might also call it a bad habit? In school my favorite subject was history, and now here we are making history as there’s never been a love like this, don’t I think highly of myself, of us, nothing people will ever write a book about but don’t I try plenty though.

Not in a foreign language though, I failed French, wanted to learn Japanese, and while we both hate Trump I can’t say I’m a fan of Spanish, Mexican people are great and maybe I figured I would have to travel the world to find you. It also explains why I didn’t do so well in Geography either; so lost without my phone, my music, and of course Lost Without You. I thought I never would which leads me to Reading. I lost myself in books, where I imagined that you and I were together, but I was never the right guy, from Young Adult Novels to Dark Erotica as you can tell from the library, and I was so busy avoiding everything else, just saying.

I created stories, wrote poems, even a song here or there inspiring me in what you would indeed be like and for a man that didn’t do well in languages, English wasn’t my strong point either. Honestly, you were more like Math but then explain to me why I love you so and I hated numbers; I would write the problem, again and again, thinking, maybe one day I would get it and “then there she was” there you were. For all the things I was supposed to be learning, and all the teachers I’ve had in the end and I honestly did have some memorable teachers but it was man’s best friend my first born four legs and all, and you my beautiful wife, who taught me the best.

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.” ― Forrest Gump (1994)

“We Found Love in a hopeless place” okay maybe life isn’t but I sure was a hopeless romantic, and with all the things I’ve “learned.” How to truly love another person, how to be the better man, the man I wanted to be, the man I have to be, I must be a genius. I still don’t think it was God, but somehow, someway I found a tutor for this thing called life. If living without you was Math, then living with you it’s like learning how to write finally, to once and for all answering one plus one or two plus two, thank you, Winston Smith and Captain Picard.

Yeah, I’ve learned plenty being a fanboy but being a husband, a lover, a father, well “I Want To Know What Love Is” so as you “Close Your Eyes And Wander” in dreams my love, tomorrow morning and forever maybe I Can Pencil You In.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 317 ~Why Kill Yourself For Anyone~

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One of the earlier rules or questions and not in the top ten, so life may be getting better and before anyone panics because of this day and age we live in, I’m okay, my biggest worry is the stir my past will cause. Why Kill Yourself For Anyone.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Lesson 317 ~Why Kill Yourself For Anyone~

Thirty-Second Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, after you’ve seen my darkness and so you know I feel somewhat okay, I’m always partly suicidal; if I had a button that could end it all, today it would be in the closet but anyway I look at this rule three ways just saying.

If you ever asked me one reason as to why I would want to kill myself… my father point blank period, one word from him and I feel like the stupidest, most pathetic and worthless cretin to ever walk the planet. Rape, Madam Justice is perhaps the most horrific crime that can be inflicted on a person and one day I will discuss my “Ravishment” fetish but the idea that you can take not someone’s body but their soul, and kill it. In the end, this is all about me, but I can blame school, religion, the bitch, women the list goes on but the first time I ever tried to OD on sleeping pills it was my father. Only surviving I suppose is the biggest F* U I can give him, “Who Made Who?”

Now being a man I’m also an idiot thinking I can buy a woman perhaps… I went on a pornstar’s wish list once buying her stuff and tell me what did I think that would accomplish? Hell pretty much all of humanity’s achievements have been fixated on the idea of men trying to get laid and what about women, what do women want, I bought a book on the subject; and how many stupid things have I done over the years for a woman? Where the bitch was blip once upon a time, my whole blog became about confession, shame, a history lesson and we’re three hundred and seventeen posts in with others I ask myself why do I keep writing… hmm, I don’t know.

“Who the hell are you? You’d would have done better with “Bitch, get in the car.” ― Bad Company (2002)

Speaking of which, who am I, most attention I got… I starved myself for three days and gave the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline my zip code, had the cops and paramedics nearly knocking my father’s door down. For the record I despise the Lifeline, I almost killed myself and lost everything in a night because my father didn’t give a shit. Long story but anyway if I died nobody would care and I refuse to have my life’s work securitized, misinterpreted, destroyed or making that ass clown rich. I don’t hurt people as much as I would like to, zombies, purge, what have you but I don’t owe any favors… well many favors and who knows maybe I want to torture myself, a damn sadist in the bedroom and a masochist in my everyday life.

No Madam Justice nobody is worth it, though I would die to protect my dog, both he and my father know this, and maybe one day I’ll find someone worth my life, but for now, Why Kill Yourself For Anyone.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 316 ~A Simful Kinda Life~

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No one understands The Sims language, and I barely recognize myself from time to time, go to work, survive, work more, squeeze in a bit of fun, sleep, repeat, just trying to keep the balance and praying nothing unforeseen happens. A Simful Kinda Life

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Lesson 316 ~A Simful Kinda Life~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, I think we should skip to the next question don’t you think and that’s how you are going to survive this week and for once I’m not talking about food. I know you wish things could be ever so simple like “The Sims,” isn’t it a sad state of affairs when what was once your virtual life was living better than you ever have in the real world but those six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 57* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 64* No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Edit At Least Two More Chapters Of My Novel
Partial Completion (Didn’t Read Out Loud)
4. I Will Complete 75% Of The Maiden
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For VLAD
Completed
6. I Will Clean The House Before The Maid Comes Around
Completed

When you’re too busy being successful and getting things done you don’t have time to worry is something you’ll come to discover, right now you remember my slight indiscretion, but it’s only Facebook. How about my utter failure when it came to below the belt, for all intents and purposes I kept it in my pants and you should too but stress cries out for release, and maybe a video game would be just the thing if you weren’t busy. We never know what’s going to happen, the dog was two seconds away from losing his dad in a wreck, Walmart gave me a bag full of the wrong stuff and I know I’m just putting pressure on you Will.

“Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” ― Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump (1994)

What about the plans I had for my first poetry book, and now you have to pick up the pace just in case, but if yesterday taught me anything well, you don’t know, and there’s a song all about that “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” Don’t you have to keep Sims happy, and that’s when all of their needs are finding satisfaction, so why aren’t you happy yet, well other than the lack of human company and again, you shouldn’t be worried about tomorrow. You shouldn’t be worried about other people for that matter, though remember to wish your mother a Happy Mother’s Day, but as that will be taken care of here’s another six impossible things for you to consider:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 64* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Edit At Least Three More Chapters Of My Novel
4. I Will Complete “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron
5. I Will Post A Review For Avengers: Infinity War
6. I Will Edit Thirty-Four Poems (Poetry Book)

You have to think big, that is the point of The Sims after all, and if it’s not a family or some grand expansion on this place, I know you honestly want more, fewer worries or fewer distractions because what have you been doing for almost two hours? Take some advice from Tony Montana, I would say listen to The Sims, but you can never understand them any way right?

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” ― Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)

If it works in a game, why can’t it work for you; because life isn’t a game, considering we hate nearly all sports and suck at academia, you need to win something, let it be life, A Simful Kinda Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

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I wish happiness were as easy to turn on like everything else in my life, hell like myself in some cases but while I’m avoiding some things, let’s hope a smile will not be my undoing. “Like A Light Switch”

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, yeah like I once loved HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, or those afternoons watching “Toonami” or staying up late to watch *gasp* Adult Swim, such were the days before the Internet for me? If I never told you the story before about how I discovered “Hentai” I got two words for you… “Tenchi Muyo!” and just like that, you may bring on the darkness.

So what exactly is today’s sin, maybe it’s a loss of control, I did something today, and it’s one thing when you sin without forethought but to do so when you have experience and those who don’t learn from history… I suppose I am feeling quite blessed today but I swear to you here and now it will go no further on my part, yeah and every “aficionado” says they’re going to kick and what happens next? Is it fair to call me an addict and to be honest I don’t know why I stopped, though am I seeing any benefit; I might have been smart enough to steer clear.

“Never trust a big butt and smile” Bell Biv Devoe

On the other hand, I found something stronger than terror and forgive me for embracing fear, but it keeps you alive, and I don’t even know why I’m stressing, I was yesterday, and here I am today. What about this, the boldness, the daring, the audacity to call myself a dominant when I can’t do something as simple as making friends and especially at such a fragile time in my life. Disappointing as well as tomorrow you know who is coming by and if nothing happens then I have squandered my opportunity, and I won’t be able to make another move, my hands will be tied; instead of hers right…

“Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.” ― Zombieland (2009)

Aren’t my hands tied already or sleeping like the rest of me because it’s the only way I can find to stop worrying but then again, remember, remember, the fifth of November, almost the same circumstances though I’m not that far gone. Was I practicing self-abstinence then too; if anything I feel somewhat like a kid again when my “adult entertainment” consisted of a binder full of porn and sneaking past library internet safety guidelines.

So will you forgive me Inspector Echo, for the misguided youngster I once was, the stress of youth desired, remembered, and history ignored, my addiction to beautiful women, or calling myself a dominant and my pursuit of the perfect submissive; turned on so casually I’ll say Like A Light Switch?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 311 ~Want It That Way~

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How many ways can someone say those “three little words,” and in how many different ways, so many others seem so much better at it, and when it comes from me, it’s me saying it but can I be more? Want It That Way, if I could?

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Lesson 311 ~Want It That Way~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, as if you ever stopped or would, and “I Swear” and not “By the moon and the stars in the skies” or shall I quote the bard:

“O, swear not by the moon, the’ inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circle orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.” William Shakespeare

My love threatens to consume me, to hold me to this place that is by your side and yet grows to everlasting and so I’m always searching, reaching, and chasing after you, “Hanging By A Moment” okay, and now I will put down my phone.

To think I would have you love the world before me or if I loved myself the way you love me, I’ve become a broken record, a remix, it might be downright theft, but it only reminds me of the day we first met. The man I was before then became lost to better words, ideas, images, not that I could ever lie to you, no I wanted the distance, not that I feared you either, so was it the chase? Here I thought I was the one to do that and maybe that’s why only now I’m starting to catch up because I wasn’t running towards you, I was running away, waiting until I was sure; takes a lot.

“I just, I know we don’t know each other all that well or anything.
But circumstances are making it, so we’re all getting kind of close in here.
You know? So don’t let me run, OK?”

“OK” ― Containment 1×04

Seems dumb I know so far into marriage, how long has it been, how many kids, my dog getting old in the tooth but what am I not sure of after all this time. What reason do I have to doubt the woman who has stood beside me, shares my bed, and who has given love meaning? How can I challenge the man I am today that’s somehow managed to accomplish this, to live “The Impossible Dream” to be more than an “Escape” … see I’m still copying what am I trying to say in my words, my dearest love?

I love you… I can say that forever, and a day only I always want more, if I were a man of faith, I would say I’m reaching out to God to thank him for you, but I would go to Hell happily “For The Love Of You,” “My Goddess.” Yes take my hands in yours, make me forget to think of anything or anyone but you and I here and this will be enough, my gift, the man that disappeared so many years ago, his story every last word; you’re making it all possible.

So before I break into the Backstreet Boys, Sam Smith, or croon “Let My Baby Stay” speaking only as your husband, your love, take all the time you need to love me now, then, and in the future and know I Want It That Way.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 310 ~ You Must Always Live Brave~

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Another lesson on fear where I should find the courage to live and I may have done so when I was but a child but with age has come a plethora of bad experiences and I’ve been down this road before. You Must Always Live Brave.

Monday, May 07, 2018

Lesson 310 ~ You Must Always Live Brave~

Thirty-First Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, did you love me before and now you’re so afraid of losing me that anyone else can be sacrificed only to keep me safe, but how shall I ever learn to become brave? How do I even define brave, you know what would have been brave today, talking to a pretty brunette, looking a man in the eye, hell maybe speaking a little bit louder, I swear these words.

As I said before courage is merely the acceptance of fear and doing what you wish, fear is a virus and courage found and practiced daily, but some days I guess I don’t and when you miss a day… That’s why I’m always telling myself to get out, to do things that make me afraid so I must be brave yet how foolish is that to seek out fear, “Remember What Fear Taste Like.” Is it not courageous though to face down the monster that I’m always called, to learn from experience and know I am a better man because when has such ideology ever helped me in the end?

Women *sigh* at the end of the day, however, I justify them I can still call it fear, but not when I find myself in pieces, and then that’s not fear at all, that’s actual danger. Nevertheless, that must be faced down. No, I take that back, you must face it head-on but what happens after that Madam Justice, fear not being equal to danger, but I get fired, I get in a fight, people think this or that of me? What about at this particular moment, what would a brave man do, what would an intelligent man do, see that’s the thing I can’t be either because for me the rule is more often you must always survive afraid.

I want to live Madam Justice honest I do, and it’s always once I have power, once I have nothing to lose, which of course is impossible, and in this situation, I stand to lose everything. It won’t be the first rule I’ve broken, and it won’t be the last… am I saying I’m giving up; Madam Justice tell me how, is it not brave to be myself even if that man is a sniveling coward, at least I survive?

One day though, I promise you, if I ever touch life, I won’t let it go and then my friend You Must Always Live Brave.

I Will Have No Fear