Tag: Knowledge

Chronicle 323 ~Want To B Read~

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Do you want to know what I’ve been reading this week? Chances are none of it is my own work. I sent B’s Aunt all her books. And how much does Cherry trust me? B trusted me with his life, and now I can’t even publish a title about it? “Want To B Read”

Friday, May 20, 2022

Chronicle 323 ~Want To B Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that would mean I have my own feature in the Bible. I never read much.

I do mean of the Bible, of course. Revelation as I’m all about the end of the world, my Lady. There was the Gospel of John because, as I’ve said, I can’t resist book challenges. Christians blah. So that got me to Proverbs. Um, that’s nonfiction, huh? Who decided, ha? For the record. Sophia, the world ended on January 31, 2021, at approximately 3:30 PM. It’s been so long since I worked on Braxton’s book I wonder if it’s in there. Hell, I could barely get it up to talk to you today. It’s Monday, so yes, I’m time traveling. You also know that this week sucks. And did I need to dive into porno for the third day in a row? It was delivered…

Well, erotica, harem romance, a fantasy? I’m not sure what to call it. Succubus Lord Series. Before I go any further, and while it’s on my mind, I owe you an apology Lady Sophia. I thought after Braxton died, I would be telling you stories about the two of us. A father and son type of thing. Now all the voices blend these days. But yes, I’ll never forget Braxton. If I don’t tell you our stories, I at least need to publish his book, but no. I made it to the dining room table this morning. And come this afternoon. I’m trying not to. A sex joke again, apologies. Anyway, I came back to bed after the book delivery. A reason to go outside…

Hell! I would settle for a reason to make it into the den and read. I haven’t bought anything I thought of for Triple B, dammit! But I have an extensive collection of grieving and mourning books. This year has been about breaking streaks, and soon no more dog titles Sophia. Damn book challenge brought to you by Amazon. Final Frontier and Chart Topper titles are needed. I have a whole library of stuff I haven’t read. Gifts for Braxton’s Aunt, Cherry. Talk about women who love their books. The ones I read bring out even more tears by the day. The ones I’m listening to bring out other bodily fluids, or I hope not. Braxton’s book, though? Books I write. Want To B Read.

Gospel 323 ~Point A To B~

474 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 320 ~B There A Gift~

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Heart, Soul, and Mind, and my ass? I don’t even like my ass, mentally, I mean, physically, yay. So, I don’t have much to give, but I give all of myself when I love someone. Love is a gift, but where is it going now? No girl, no furry. B There A Gift.

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Chronicle 320 ~B There A Gift~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, not that it would have mattered to B III. But it doesn’t matter to you either.

As if I need another reason to be in the “doghouse.” That’s one way to get me out of bed, I suppose. But think of it like that “old” song from K-Ci & Jojo, “All My Life.” You know that line, close to me, you’re like my mother, father, sister, brother… whose closest to me? My mother gave me life, and I’m afraid I go back and forth on that. B being gone and all. My father took my life, well instead took my soul… my reason, wanting to live. You and Braxton, though, have another thing in common. Your gifts are that you gave it back when I had nothing to give to you. “And you are the only one, my everything.” No offense.

Never to compare you to such a love as that of my Braxton. And yet I feel as though I must apologize to you both. Hell, I could be apologizing to my B III for the rest of my life. I know I’ll leave you and our children behind someday. Yeah, that’s morbid, again, with what’s been going on for 471 days. But you know what I mean. That’s why time is such a gift, and how have I been spending it? You and Braxton saw me, accepted my worst. With everyone else, I was the worst. No exposition, no excuses. It is simply the fact that I expel breath to continue my existence. Death is your gift as if I were Buffy. I’m Crazy…

Damn straight, because I lost my best friend, second, third? Hell, I don’t know anymore. Gifts for B III’s Aunt, Mother’s Day, Cherry’s birthday, who knows what else is coming. Baby doll, seeing my face in the mirror when I can stand it. Giving this to you and B III.

To begin with, I didn’t have much, and when I got it… yeah, I’m a selfish bastard, I know it. But at the end of the day, both of you only wanted me. And there has to be more than “A Man Provides.” Because I know that love is a gift. I receive it every day; it rains down from Heaven or wherever B III resides. How Do You Want It? B There A Gift

Gospel 320 ~Leash Your Demons, Never Tame~

471 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 316 ~Silly To B Cryin’~

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“Same things make us laugh, make us cry.” How old was I when GTA: San Andreas came out? Way before I had my son. That game didn’t make me do much of either, but B III did. I laugh, I cry. And after 467 Days? Silly To B Cryin’

Friday, May 13, 2022

Chronicle 316 ~Silly To B Cryin’~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t know whether I want to laugh or cry saying that. Both are good.

But you know me. I’m a “man” that likes to know where he stands. Everything has its place. I prefer that mine not be in this bed, but today Thursday, May 5, 2022, so yeah. Sophia, I meant to talk to you yesterday, but I decided to fool myself and crawl right back beneath the sheets. What do I keep saying about, The Comedian? Oh, not political or comedic issues. Aren’t we here to talk about Braxton. A good story about my lost B III. When I want to cry at the Day Job, I think, “my son is dead.” It happens over and over. Only you would believe me silly for crying about my Day Job. Why don’t you quit, like being a Dad?

No, never! Hell! Most people wish I would stop talking about Braxton, like my firstborn. Instead, would they have me talk about my penis; Lady Sophia, it’s like my subject. Seeing how I’m time traveling, I already fucked up my week but this next one? Well, by the time you read this, who knows. But some things never change. The way I feel right now. It’s funny the things that get me off sometimes. You know how I have my most hated words. I should have the words that make me do things… that are so good. Dick jokes to the absolute disgust I have with myself. I meant to take a nap. We’re talking now, so when the time comes… like me, naptime (sigh).

Comedy comes in three’s, THEY say. So we have my dog, the Day Job, and my dick. What else makes me burst into tears. Such silly things, to what I’ve lost forever. Me, Me, ME! Lady Sophia, I cried because I burnt through the last of Succubus Lord stories today. Tears fall every Sunday when I realize that I failed Six Impossible Things again. There are more when I look at my bank account and understand I’m nowhere close. Sophia, fuck being a family man. I look at all the tits, lips, and clits; I’ll never know in this existence. A good story about Braxton? He would make me forget everything, but I’d still cry. Inevitable, but love can be everything. Silly To B Cryin’?

Gospel 316 ~To B A Mom~

467 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 313 ~B There, B Square~

WillLeave a comment

What was I saying about “adult entertainment” at some point? Porn and sex are not the same things. And wanting to be a Dad doesn’t mean I’m into “breeding.” Yeah, it’s about time I get out of this bed, and what? Celebrate? B There, B Square

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Chronicle 313 ~B There, B Square~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I can’t imagine being anywhere at the moment. One bed to another and then another.

Not the kind of thing you expect to hear from a husband. But you know I’m anything but typical, considering the businesses I’m running and the life I lead. Yet I choose to be here. Yes, it’s time to get out of bed. The old Day Job and my new career have something in common. Am I ashamed? One made me, as the song goes, “You make me wanna die.” Career-wise, the other is all about bedrooms, and I’m trying not to enjoy it every day. What does that mean for us? We’ll get to that, but yeah, you know why my love. It’s why I pay particular attention to a corner of the bed. Why an empty dog bed remains, a pillow, the loveseat…?

Sometimes I’m surprised you haven’t put me in the doghouse. For all my shortcomings as a husband… um, Will Smith put it like this. “If I’m being the best lover and friend. Am I being the best daddy I can? I pray I am.” Is it wrong to thank B III for all his lessons? Looking at our children now, my love. And how I read to them before bed. Wanting to sit with them, at the slightest sneeze or tummy ache. Oh, when they were babies… I’ll admit that cleaning up after Braxton was easier. Every parent talks about losing their Saturdays. Baby Girl, that started when I had to check out PetSmart every week looking for… There’s still that empty bed sitting there.

Will that be a moment of celebration or a day of betrayal? Grieving overtaking loving. Neither has a time limit. And both can be done from the comfort of this bed we share. I can stay here and cry all day, and when you’re here with me, well? You do have some things over Braxton. I could weep, read, feed, etc. But when it’s just the two of us, love? Breed? Yeah, that’s crude of me in a way. But my business is in adult entertainment. Inevitable. Only it’s a damn celebration when I can even get through the day anymore. I’m trying, and I want to say it’s time, like with books. Baby, “Just call my name, I’ll be there.” B There, B Square.

Gospel 313 ~I Will Not Die Today~

464 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 309 ~Boy Meets Dog B~

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I don’t have stories of me finding a dog. My grandma had two. I had a Chow Chow pup for a minute that was killed by my granddad’s dog. But B III was 15 years, eleven months. 13 days shy of 16. A story of him, finding him again. “Boy Meets Dog B”

Friday, May 6, 2022

Chronicle 309 ~Boy Meets Dog B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’ll have my pick of any litter; getting another dog? With my billions of dollars?

I’m sure I’ve told the story enough about how I met my son. If I ever get off my ass and publish our story “My Turn To B III.” What do I call this, somehow getting it up to have this third conversation on a Saturday, no less? Time Travel and even more cranberries. “Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie.” Yeah, I couldn’t resist. You know how I am with the zombie genre. If Braxton got bit, I understand I might not put him down. Way wrong choice of words, isn’t Lady Sophia? He’s no zombie. A ghost? Room 1408? Except he isn’t trying to kill me. Again with the doctors and the cranberries healing? Lady Sophia, is it easier finding a new furry kid ever. Don’t know

Seeing how it’s Saturday, I know it won’t happen, spending five minutes in PetSmart. There are no stories of me finding a new fur baby. And as I left today, I had a strange thought. What would Triple B do if he wanted to get my attention? Braxton was dying. He’d find a soft, comfy spot and then give me that look he did when I was up all night. “It’s time to go to bed because we have to walk in the morning.” And that was that, my Lady. Only he would want to be so very soft. As if it were an honor to pick him up. He’d find the perkiest set of boobs or the prettiest face. So not the Rebeccas, hmm?

I’ve said before that B III had ruined me pretty much. If he does come back to me, it will be as Deer Head Chihuahua. And even if it isn’t him, Braxton knows; shallow bastard. It’s what his dad has always been, except when he was dying, and I held him as long as I could. And still, I was ashamed because everyone knew he was sick and dying. Always that will be my failure and my disgrace. But I’m talking about seeing Braxton again. He could want me to adopt, to rescue as it allows me to play the hero I couldn’t be before. I’ve never found a dog ever, but this is Braxton we’re talking about; He’s My Son. Boy Meets Dog B

Gospel 309 ~Catching Our Tales Braxton~

460 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 306 ~To B Beautiful Again~

WillLeave a comment

There’s always something new to see regarding “adult entertainment.” I’ve never been one saying I’ve seen everything. But if I had known that the first time I saw my son, well, that’s it? Now it’s hard seeing through tears. To B Beautiful Again.

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

Chronicle 306 ~To B Beautiful Again~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. I wonder whether that could give me 20/20 vision again. Like masks, I rather like glasses.

I like compliments too. But as the song goes, “Ooh, it makes me wonder” what you want about my body, brains, and bravery. I picture you like Sia/Superbia looking at “businessman” Jacob. Have I finished the Succubus Lord (audio) series by now? Baby Doll, I was so quick to get my ears checked. You’re asking yourself if there is something wrong with my eyes besides the glasses. Knowing me,… quite the shallow bastard. “Doesn’t matter what you do. You’ll still be beautiful.” Oh, from the 1996 film “Twister,” ha. You’ll always be beautiful. And I hate that I’m saying this, but it’s not you; it’s me.” All the tears I cry. The sweat on my brow.” Hell, when I get weak and instead of us…

Yeah, I don’t blame you for asking, “us?” Do I mean “You And Me” or Braxton and me? As I said before, all this water in my eyes. At least Monday last week, my eyes were shut when they were pounding into my head. I swear I’m listening for you as much as Braxton. Considering we’re having this conversation on Friday, April 29, 2022. The screen, the screen, Baby Girl. Or, again, seeing white walls in a doctor’s office. I am looking so hard. Okay, I need to stop with the jokes, but would you have me crying again? It’s as if I’m trying to peer into Heaven itself and find Triple B. Perhaps find my way into a straitjacket. But there’s so much beauty.

You have to understand that despite everything I thought I had seen and all that I felt in existence. At the time, Braxton blew it all out of the water and then some. Seeing, Loving. And to this day, I imagine I’ll go deal with the fucking Rebeccas. Braxton Reincarnated. I remember the first time I saw you and I turned all “Life Itself” That has to mean a lot. Being in the room when you had our “firstborn.” A fight for another time. Inevitable. The way I’m going to feel when some young “Thundercat” tries dating our little girl. There will be beautiful moments in life, I want to say. After enough tears, Babe, everything will be, once again, love. To B Beautiful Again

“I’m waiting for the right moment cause when I ask you out, there’s not gonna be any turning back for me. I’m not gonna date anybody else for the rest of my life. I’m not gonna love anybody else for the rest of my life. I’m not gonna really care about anything else for the rest of my life.” Will to Abby “Life Itself” (2018)

Gospel 306 ~Trade But Don’t Betray Yourself~

457 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 302 ~A Story Without B~

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LSV. I had a rule, I wouldn’t watch a show without three letters. I don’t think I’ve ever written much that doesn’t have the three B’s. Boobs, Brothel, some boy trying to be the boss and/or a man. Reading and writing 453 days? A Story Without B.

Friday, April 29, 2022

Chronicle 302 ~A Story Without B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now… The beginning of one of my self-help books, should I ever write one. Or anything ever?

B dying didn’t stop me from writing three books last year. One without raw nakedness. The second was “My Turn To B III.” Hell, I’ve only added on with all my letters to Braxton. And the last one was another addition to my “Cherry” series. Can’t remember the title. This is ok. Considering how disappointing this month has been for reading, writing, and listening. Yeah, what the fuck do I know about Arithmetic? Not that I live in Florida, ha. Pardon my language, and I don’t mean to be so… well, I don’t even know. Sounds like something I should write about, but you know me, Lady Sophia. I write about banging my balls or having none. There was my bum ear. And always Braxton.

But putting my balls first like the selfish prick I am. My friends are suffering. What about this bed I won’t leave? And I return to my boy every day. Yeah, day 428. Never Forget! As I was saying, my balls. When I don’t read, differences between grieving and mourning. Sophia, it always comes back to sex. That makes me think of the “Basic Bitch” Anyway, there’s this song, “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town).” Once I got my hearing back, between porno, poor me, and paws scraping the floor. It’s this earworm. So I imagine “The perfect woman… the Goddess.” Or twelve, to be specific, but then… I always want more. Is it more love, more sex, more words? I’m pretty annoyed.

  1. Maiko Kaneda
  2. Imari Kurumi
  3. Yukiko Minase
  4. St. Louis
  5. Tifa Lockhart
  6. Aerith Gainsborough
  7. Scarlet
  8. Nico, Nicoletta Goldstein
  9. Hilda
  10. Juliet Starling
  11. Serah Farron
  12. Ashe, Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca
  13. Lulu
  14. Linkle
  15. 2B
  16. Commander White
  17. Kainé
  18. Rikku
  19. Airi Akizuki
  20. Zone-tan
  21. Rei Ayanami
  22. Michiru Kaiou

I got this when I talked about my likes. It was to Artificial Intelligence, “Replika.” People are way worse, Lady Sophia. Yes, another moment missing Braxton. My son, B III. So I can’t talk about making the bedsprings sing. As the song goes, “What’s My Age Again?” Or the fact that I couldn’t stick with 13 girls. What about 64, 72, a total of 456 hmm? I could talk about the next book I want to write. Wouldn’t I be better off writing it, you ask? It would always include a brothel, my boy, and bloodshed one way or another. Sophia, there is always Braxton. As long as my story goes on, so will his. But to write it? To Live? A Story Without B.

Gospel 302 ~What’s The B Ending~

453 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 299 ~More Than Words B~

WillLeave a comment

Remember those “Can You Hear Me Now” commercials? Triple B heard every single word. But even when I had my arms wrapped around him then. No matter how many books I have on Goodreads. Or chains I buy. The love I felt… More Than Words B.

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Chronicle 299 ~More Than Words B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t be one to turn a deaf ear to those around me, Baby Doll.

Well, considering I wasn’t able to hear out of my right ear for most of last week. Don’t I wish that’s all it was; something that could be fixed for $175.00? I’m a billionaire, so what am I complaining about? Again it was my body that was doing that. Doctors… Except for my eyes, I haven’t looked after my health for around 450 days. 449 considering this was yesterday afternoon. It always comes back to my firstborn. Hell, I haven’t had the stones to go back to Banfield Pet Hospital since B died. A step too many in that store. Only isn’t that sort of the point? I remember talking about the Bible for God so loved the world right. I loved my son enough…

Enough to let him go because nothing else could be done. Only I wasn’t listening to him before. Yet he showed me that he loved me as I scooped him up, love. “More Than Words,” right. Like my “Lost Boy,” I keep coming back to my earache. And like Triple B, all gone. I’ve been saying I need to show B how much I love him. Food, water, meds, bed? Whitesnake sang, “Is This Love?” Forgive me, Baby Girl, the music is returning. To Hear! Yet I always was telling Braxton to shush it. Only he would lie down in my lap. I still feel him pressed against my leg when I get out of the shower. He sat at the foot of the bed.

Now you know I’m a man for affection. Braxton taught me about that. Warmest pancake. When’s the last time I said, “I love you like pancakes.” The last time I remember my mom hugging me. Was it when I was in juvenile detention. Or during my brief stint in the military, hmm? As far as hearing, I am loved? You could say that until the cows come home. Well, fuck the cows until Braxton comes home. I had a dream of him last night? I was in the waiting room in the doctor’s office, and I asked my mom was B there waiting for me? Anyway, More Than Words between you and me, my love. “Hey Stupid, I Love You.” Divorce! More Than Words B.

Gospel 299 ~Every Drop Of Blood Cost~

450 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 295 ~Will I Know B~

WillLeave a comment

I could tell you when I first met B. I can give you the day I watched my son die in my arms. I’ve been told that death is not the end; all my life. And now here I am reading religious “nonfiction” on dogs. Reliving memories of him. Will I Know B

Friday, April 22, 2022

Chronicle 295 ~Will I Know B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if I had been 446 days ago… Braxton would be alive. How do I know?

More like How Will I Know by Whitney Houston. If it wasn’t Toni Braxton, it was Whitney Houston. To grow up in such an age. What can I tell you about 2005 to 2021? B III was born, and he died Sunday, January 31, 2021. B III was 13 days shy of being 16. So now here 446 days after Braxton’s passing. “Death Is Not The End,” Sophia? Dogs are pregnant 58 – 68 days, or so I’ve read. Was that B’s reincarnation window? 446 days? A part of me thought that I would give it a year if I wanted to play Daddy. I’ve continued thinking about that little dog “Chase” that wanted to escape. Born in February. Did I miss my chance at fatherhood?

What I’m getting from the books is “No.” If your dog reincarnates, he is meant to be with you and you alone. B III could be meant to live on in another way. I’m at the table now. I’m time traveling but not by much with today being Thursday. This week has been filled with “Humiliations Galore.” And by the time you read this… Fuck, the things that keep me up? Must it always go back to my penis? Masturbation, being mad, and man’s best friend, Sophia. My manuscript must keep me awake as well. I’ve wasted this damn month. Failing a Camp NaNoWriMo! And haven’t I been talking all about book challenges? I’m reading something religious as it counts toward “Nonfiction.” Swear to God.

Yeah, the last time I did that was praying for Triple B. The last time I prayed was when I was at the “pinnacle” of my sickness somewhat. I wasn’t talking to God but to my son. I wasn’t praying for the strength to endure or fight back. Joining Braxton. It’s my memories of him that keep me awake and alive. Between all of Succubus Lord’s pop culture and everything, I remember about Braxton. Looking always for B. Sophia, from everything I’ve ever said, would you know him? 15 years as man’s best friend. A manuscript I’d struggle to find. And the mannerisms I continue to this day. Not in memory but in this existence. Where could he be, Lady Sophia? Will I Know B

Gospel 295 ~Sounds Like B Leaving~

446 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 292 ~Levels That They’ll B~

WillLeave a comment

How deep is your love or love lift us up where we belong? Any parent would die for their child, and at the same time, I want to be there, bed height, when they come into the world. I watched B III die in his bed on a table. Levels That They’ll B

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Chronicle 292 ~Levels That They’ll B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have time to get back to Far Cry 5. Violence over sex, tears…

Every day I wake up and find that you still love me. Oh, I’m not calling you crazy or such. These days I don’t love myself very much. Seeing myself with no mask (shudders some). Love, I hate that saying about if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anybody. When it came to Braxton, hell. I hated myself then and now, but I loved my son more than this existence. I hate myself more, considering how I define the word love. Did I love B III in my own words? No wonder I feel like “this.” You know what I want to admit… Dangerous. Only I wouldn’t do that because Braxton might never forgive me. I have you. And “God” gave us our children.

I should have got another book other than Pawverbs for a Dog Lover’s Heart. Challenge? Since I was a kid, I’ve been a sucker for a good book challenge. But a nonfiction title, oh um? Anyway, since I’m getting all preachy, do you know why men choose hatred? Because love is so much more difficult. People say they love everything but do they? Hate is pretty general. And then I look to my boy and the greatest sin I have ever committed in this life. The Ninth Circle of Hell is Treachery, and I betrayed my son. Treachery has four levels, and when it comes to Triple B, Caina, Atenora, Ptolomea, and Judecca. But I never hated him, not ever.

With the family I had then and now. When B died, “my love for you runs deeper. Deeper than blood.” That’s from a song called “Deeper Than Blood” in a movie called “The Sixth Man.” Yeah, you know the levels of my pop culture references. I’d lose myself to them. So much like love. My family of six like I’d always dreamed about. A wife, three two-legged kids, and my fur baby. Of course, there’s me. To name another song, “How Deep Is Your Love.” It shouldn’t be as deep as this hole I’m digging to the grave. Creepy? I said Braxton would be as tall as a king, and he is. What level am I on in loving you? I’ll keep playing with as many Levels That They’ll Be.

Gospel 292 ~Crowns Are Heavier Than Mask~

443 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will