Tag: Bullying

Tale 124 ~B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons~

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People want a reset button. I don’t. I’ll wait for someone to push the wrong one, as I’m too lazy to play the game. And This Is America where even doors are an issue, Mr. Cruz. I try not to push people’s buttons, but B, V. B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons.

Thursday, November 2, 2023

Tale 124 ~B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons~

1005 Days Without B III, Day 446 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s only been seven hours, and I’m already counting today as a loss. Nothing new.

Speaking of which, “my” bank account. Not that we talked about that much, Little B. Every day, you had a roof over your head, a collar around your neck, food in your bowl, and… Ain’t that what you’re supposed to do? I’m your child. You had me. I didn’t ask to be here. Whatever happened to that video, Braxton? Were you even here during that? The things I need to give up. But no worries, B III, it will never be Virgil Vivi. He’s here. Still collarless… May I remind you how you’d sometimes get your nail stuck in yours? And with all the button pushing, getting your collar off was just the worst. Did I finally find something I would not like to repeat?

Hell! To me, that’s called breathing. This is one more reason this week’s been horrible. All the time in the world, Braxton. And what have I done with it? I just push a button, son. And as the song goes, “What A Heavenly Way To Die.” Or at least I can pretend a lot B. “When we pretend that we’re dead.” That is not a game Virgil likes to play. Then again, I’m at the dining room table while his pillow is in the wash. Vomiting. Not this again, B. Especially with how next week will be. Fear, Pain? I’ll never forget the one when you left me here all alone. Didn’t I say Virgil’s here… How do I forgive myself? Just push a button.

But not one of these buttons has the word LIVE on the front. And even if one did B III… There’s always the one that sends me right back to sleep. We’re approaching 9:00 AM. Before I try lying away, you know what begins in November. NaNoWriMo? Um, No F… And I already screwed that up. I should wear pants with buttons more often. Only, it’s never a good thing anytime I leave the house, except for running with your Aunt Carolina. I hope you’re checking in on her and the doctors. There are so many buttons to push I could never be one. Only I’m not much of a writer either. Because existing Braxton, without your button nose, really sucks. B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 117 ~Wrong Answers, B, V~

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I’m not right. When I know I’m wrong, I don’t exactly stop. Moral compass? All those don’t steal, don’t kill, and the rest. I know a few companies that would be pissed. My son is dead. And when X/Twitter is reporting on crimes. “Wrong Answers, B, V.”

Thursday, October 26, 2023

Tale 117 ~Wrong Answers, B, V~

998 Days Without B III, Day 439 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s only 7:30 here, and I woke up at 4:00. Yesterday was even worse, B.

Not to sound like “Since U Been Gone…” I’ve looked at you as the angel on my shoulder, Braxton. But I would call you a little douche. And what was the middle ground? Just B. Every day, I wake up wishing you could just be. Because at the end of the day, your good dog moments beat out your bad puppy antics. It doesn’t work that way with men religiously. And when did I become one of the righteous? “I’m a man of God, but I don’t need a savior.” What I mean, Triple B, is I tried to “Do the Right Thing.” Saving you? Braxton, it couldn’t be done, and trying to keep you alive would have been a “Way Wrong Answer!” Killing you?

I swear B that there are no right answers in this world. And maybe that was your secret B III. You never answered questions. Hell! How many pictures do I have of your eyes, B? One of the few things Virgil Vivi has in common with you is that he doesn’t answer me. Wasn’t that one of the rules I had for you? Answer me so I know where you are in the room. It was the only way I could protect you. And again, did I? I failed miserably. And it’s not like you answer any of these letters anyway. I’m starting to feel like Bella from New Moon. Can I not think about Kristen Stewart or any girl? Another reason I’m late today

Yeah, Wednesday was a shit show. My head got slammed by a shelf Wednesday. But seeing how I woke up today, can I rule out a concussion? Anything that brings me closer to you. Only I’m not coming to The Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, not even purgatory. The 9th Circle. And why? Taking “my” own existence would be a sin. And I can’t even get that right despite all my studies. That’s what I was thinking about Wednesday… researching sin. There’s always death, primarily zombies. I said something this week about monster/demon girls… Succubi, Witches, Heather Loralie, the list goes on —torture, Hentai, and grieving fur babies. There’s punishment, sleep deprivation, no sex… Ha! Only Masturbation. There’s being broke, zero simoleons. Sigh. Wrong Answers, B, V.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 110 ~Virgil Sounds Off Braxton~

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I didn’t know V was howling. For a few weeks, he only coughed like hacking up a lung. Then his howl when I left, vomiting and barking at a possum. Hell! All I’m saying is don’t you effing die to myself. “Virgil Sounds Off Braxton”

Thursday, October 19, 2023

Tale 110 ~Virgil Sounds Off Braxton~

991 Days Without B III, Day 432 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Would I be better off if I lied to you? Sorry B, highway, government, time-travel…

This is why I’m talking to you today. “Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.” Since wrestling isn’t on tonight, I could watch The Truman Show. NXT was on Tuesday, and I didn’t watch any of it either B III. Roxanne Perez, Piper Niven… And yet, I wonder why I like M Anime so much. It’s the best of both worlds, but we’ll get to that. I should keep it in my pants, but Braxton Barks. Remember when your Aunt Carolina would come by, and you’d be awfully busy with your toy? And she had to let you run all over her massive pair of… Um, anyway, you were very vocal, liking her, not liking her.

But it would be nice if you kept her in your thoughts today. Triple B, please. Probably me, too. Wednesday… well, today for me. I’m thinking about what I have to do. Highways B… Thirty-nine and counting, unfortunately. And the only time I’ve taken a trip like this is when your Aunt was getting married. She’s not anymore, but I’m still scared to death. Hell! She is my friend, and you are my son. And that was enough to give me courage in 2019. And why do I need to talk about courage, your Aunt Carolina, and car rides? Braxton, we’re talking a few miles to prove to Uncle Sam that I am, whatever you say I am. Well, not you specifically. To you, I was Daddy. To them… sigh.

What about to Virgil? He’s sitting at the door in your room, but for once, he’s quiet. You should hear him when I leave the house. I’m sure you have. Have you been scaring him? I’m sorry, Triple B, for my attempts at Halloween humor. Will I even get to see it? Do I have no faith in my driving ability? Or that of other people? Remember sitting with me, Braxton? With my luck, I’ll even end up in Hell, a ghost or a zombie, with no chance of seeing you. If I make it back, I’m the monster or whatever Virgil thinks I am, All to defend a name I hate. And I don’t call Virgil my son. Yet, ever… Virgil Sounds Off Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 103 ~Virgil, B Leaves Better~

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B believed in me, and how did that turn out for him. I believed in what… God or some higher power. Again, how did that turn out for B. V’s been here 425 days, and I believe he’s on the fence. If it doesn’t collapse this Fall. Virgil, B Leaves Better.

Thursday, October 12, 2023

Tale 103 ~Virgil, B Leaves Better~

984 Days Without B III, Day 425 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As the song goes, “I’d love to get a letter. Like to know what’s what.”

It’s not like I’m any better with it B III. I ain’t Eric Thomas. But I got up around three-ish. Tell me THEY have sleep in Heaven… At the Rainbow Bridge or wherever you exist. Existence? No! You live, Braxton. Only it’s not here anymore. But as much as you struggled, you didn’t want to leave me. If only I had your strength. Well, I haven’t cried today, Braxton. But the day is still very much young. Daddy’s thirty-nine now. Which ain’t much compared to your age, I know. But every day, I take a step closer to Doom. Gaming? Braxton, there is no time for that. There’s no time for anything but killing it. Have you seen me these days at the Day Job?

Again, I’m looking for the tears to fall. I’m surprised there haven’t been more Braxton. Sweating bullets daily. And let’s not get into other bodily fluids… Eww! That’s one thing I can say about Virgil and his having no “interest” in toys. Not like you. Yeah, if you’re not sleeping, eating, or watching me. One more reason for me to behave. I know it, B. Don’t Look Down. I’m right, Braxton. And the leaves aren’t that pretty falling. Ha. I’m leafing through pages. It’s more like scrolling, but you understand. Anyway… there’s all these books. That aren’t about grieving fur babies. Ah! Viewers like you —my lost one, B III. And still, I think about leaving this place every day. Quit with the leaving humor?

It’s Fall, we get it. But calling it funny might be stretching. Which again reminds me of what I must do today and tomorrow. Stretch out? Convince people I’m “working.” Take a long car ride. And then there’s the cash. Is everything free wherever you are B III? This world has fallen so far. B III, some government types believe that there’s capitalism in paradise. That’ll suck. Hell! I owe you so much, Braxton. And Virgil, too. Only I haven’t fallen for him yet. Then why am I looking down to ensure he stays alive and well? Braxton, I’ve fallen for worse… sleep, Simoleons, and the opposite sex. I’d leave it all. Braxton, I believe plenty about zombies and necromancy. Death… Virgil, B Leaves Better

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 096 ~CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil~

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“Here in my car, I feel safest of all.” No. I never cared for driving, walking, or anything requiring me to leave the bed. I’m ungrateful? Hell! Anywhere I went was in service to Braxton. Movie nights, his Aunt’s wedding? CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil

Thursday, October 5, 2023

Tale 096 ~CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil~

977 Days Without B III, Day 418 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s Friday, September 29, 2023. So you know my day sucked. Much like car rides

Hell, “Anytime” I have to answer the phone or get a text from the Olds or Day Job. It’s never a good thing, Braxton. Virgil might have been doing good vomiting on it. Who am I kidding, right? I value the phone more than the car. But the thought that something is wrong with the car… Well, to keep from throwing up all day. It’s been bedrest, searching for books, and you know that B-word that broads have. Backyard Dungeon? And no, I’m not talking about that A-word broads have. I mean the second book. Permission? I asked you about reading something that doesn’t involve dead fur babies. Not that you were a fan of those books, anyway. But after finishing another Kindle Challenge… sigh.

Do you remember when I was driving to the library every other day? No. It wasn’t to pick up books, though I did eventually. And with what the car might cost me. I need books. Only that’s a problem for Saturday… of last week. This one, I hope, is better Braxton. Positivity? I told Lady Sophia that’s what all the motivational speeches always say. Not to mention, nobody likes reading negative things. I’d have a working car B. Well, if I could write something of value. Braxton, that’s like the car… negative outlook. Whenever you got in, it was never for anything good, even the park. For you, it was dogs, for me, people. Why can’t we stay… at the house? But, last vet visit…

That’s a bad choice of words. I’m sorry, B. You’d have given anything to hop back in the car and come back with me. But I left your cold body there. No collar, comfy spot, companion. When I carried you to the car, it was with the faith that I’d see a miracle, God, in action. But instead, much like when I drive to the Day Job. It was going straight to Hell. Not that I believe you’re there. Knowing me, it’s warm, and you’re saving me a spot by the fire. Having a car also allowed me to get fries and new toys, and your Aunt would visit us. I meant to bring you a mom. Now, another waiting room. CAR Carrying Braxton, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

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It wasn’t a big deal. I’d lay on the loveseat, and B would pick a spot and give me a look. “You good,” then he would listen to me, or if it was inappropriate, he’d fall asleep. Books and furry kids. Read all about it. “Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton.”

Thursday, September 28, 2023

Tale 089 ~Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton~

970 Days Without B III, Day 411 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how we’re speaking on Sunday, September 24, 2023. You can guess my day

I wonder if I’ll make it to the couch today. And no, that’s not me being mean to Virgil Vivi, B. I was going to call him “the Freeloader.” Yeah, I need to stop that. I’m sorry. It’s not like I haven’t lain in our usual spot and read. “And it hurts like hell. Yeah, it hurts like hell,” sometimes, as the song goes. But today, I’ll be exhausted, lazy, or just plain stupid, B III. However, you would never say that. You wouldn’t say much, and if I couldn’t… books. That’s what I want to speak to you about. Don’t worry… (snickers) yeah right. Anyway, Triple B, I’m not banning books. Remember all the books I couldn’t read you. You’re a big boy now.

But I’m not. Seeing as how I’m still talking to my dead furry kid. That’s what THEY would say. And Virgil? He would prefer I get out of bed. The Dining room table isn’t helping. Considering all those long days I would spend writing, you would know all about that. Only we’re talking about reading. And I was looking at the Man In The Mirror. I spent all this morning listing off the books I was getting for cheap or even for free from people. Hometown Hero (The Breeder Book 1), Witch Girl Study Group: The Complete Series, Backyard Dungeon 2: A Reverse Portal Fantasy, and more. The year you died, 2021, I read about six. 2022 was nearly forty, if not more, Triple B.

2023 started off promising, but with Kindle Challenges, the series I started, and a need for more time. And I have a whole library waiting… What exactly am I asking for, Braxton? Um, well… I would have finished A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising: A Novel. If it weren’t for running out of time or reading stuff, that would have someone reading me Miranda Rights at some point. And I hate reading anything about the bank and cash, but reading about dead fur babies vs. beautiful women and everything buried rising. Would it matter to you what I read, Braxton? Asking permission? As long as we’re together and still breathing. Braxton, I’m still reeling from your broken record. 526 Days. Paging Virgil, Knight Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

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I haven’t seen a Math class in years, but still hate it. And reading… That’s how bad it is. I read novels in Math. But if I read one more day, my record with B III on September 16, 2020, is broken. Broken already, but… Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Tale 082 ~Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton~

963 Days Without B III, Day 404 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You could be anywhere right now. Better than here? Daddy’s in the Special Hell. Still?

What? You rather I be mad than sad? And yes, B III, I have already cried over you once. It was for the stupidest reason. But I was mad as Hell when Virgil came close to vomiting all over the phone a few weeks ago. Only he was sick. And when you were the same, Braxton? I could be all sorts of mad at you now. You know me and my fondness for list B III. Braxton, today is Wednesday, September 20, 2023. But by the time you read this, it will have been 964 Days that I’ve had a broken heart. Even now, I want to yell at you, ha-ha. What about the bed I continue sitting in that’s collapsing? Depression and Humiliations galore.

Cherry would not be pleased about what amounts to a character study. And neither would an ex-beauty queen that did… certain movies. And what about writing my books, like I always promised? Because the last thing I want to do to today B is more reading. That’s what brings me here today. As you can see, my record for “Days in a row” on Wednesday is 525, soon to be 526. And there lies the problem. Thursday will be 527 Days. Braxton… I’m breaking “my” record. And in so doing, a part of you… is disappearing. It’s like a Mario Kart Time Trial, your ghost. Virgil’s been here 404 Days, Braxton. Breaking a record like this doesn’t mean much in the big scheme of things.

Hell! Braxton, when you died, I didn’t do anything… let’s say sinful for 161 Days. Counting today, I’m not even close to breaking that record at 54. Another reason I’m trying to talk to you instead of looking up Yabbos. But I did speak to your Aunt Carolina yesterday. Nothing can be that paradise, I would think. Although that would explain why you’re not breaking out of Heaven, Hell, or testing the Rainbow Bridge… I’m sure Virgil could use a break from my existing. He’s not so desperate today… Tomorrow? Triple B, you are your father’s son. You wanted to stay always and forever -trying to save me from breaking down in a broken world. I made “my” bed, this Hell. Virgil, Let’s Breakout, Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

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If I can “see” ghosts, maybe V can too. Anytime I have to go out and pretend to be a good person, it sounds like a haunted house as I close the door. So besides writing, sleeping, or gazing at yabbos, I pretend it will be better. Virgil Pretends To B

Thursday, September 14, 2023

Tale 075 ~Virgil Pretends To B~

956 Days Without B III, Day 397 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? More to the point. Are you happy? I read up on The Rainbow Bridge, sometimes.

It’s supposed to be a happy place. And more than anything, B, I want you to be a happy puppy. Hell! You were fifteen when you left, and I still considered you my little puppy. You’d be eighteen now. Even after your “passing,” I still call you for “medicine time.” How’s that for ACCEPTANCE? Your Dad could use some type of medication, I guess, B. Is it the fact that I’m calling out to the dead? Well, only you. But yeah, I have that book on vampires. It could be all the bugs biting as I clean up your yard like you would be proud. It’s all “The Land of Make Believe,” Braxton. But Hell is far too real. Which is why I’m writing today.

Yeah, your Daddy is time-traveling, but only a day. It’s Wednesday, September 13, 2023. And before I get started on why I’m talking to you so late. It’s around 4:30 p.m., and I’m in bed. Of course, sigh. V’s laying here pretending being here’s his “Welcome to the good life.” Like father, like freeloader. I swear, Braxton, one day I’ll stop calling him that. Lying? Daddy was never one for acting but, strangely enough, for ACCEPTANCE. Now, after E-Day, with me being another year older. I swear thirty-nine sucks. Thirty-eight, thirty-seven, thirty-six. Thirty-six was an awful year. Oh! I should have died at “Seventeen,” Braxton. But I keep pretending, don’t I? That bullying lie of It Gets Better. It doesn’t. Nothing stops. Nothing. Well, you…

Only I keep going like I was today. Do I want to talk about the Day Job now or yesterday? What about what I did after? All the time in the world, and besides eating and sleeping, what did I do with it? I was like you when your Aunt Carolina came through —buried in Yabbos. Only for me, it was Cherry’s. As if I could recreate that beauty like something out of “The Truman Show.” And speaking of big racks, there was also Momokun. After a couple of downloads, um… Your Dad is not a good man. And I don’t do well at acting. Well, “When we pretend that we’re dead,” you have me beat. Teach Virgil to be happy. Virgil Pretends To B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad