Tag: Forty

Meditation 103 ~Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil~

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Hillary Clinton is a better person than Lauren Boebert and MTG. But if we were voting for adult films… Well, in politics or “poonanny” (puts on Ice Cube shades). I’d go AOC. So, I had a dream about bills, maybe… “Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil”

Saturday, October 12, 2024

Meditation 103 ~Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I can afford some “good” drugs. And no more Sour Punch before bed. Okay?

Last night was a bad night. I’ve had worse. The first night Braxton wasn’t here… Am I finally back to crying about B? I cried today, and it was only 7:45 AM. And that’s only out of disappointment that I’m already counting today as a loss. What about 4:00 AM?

Lady Lunalesca, if it wasn’t for the alarm on the phone, who knows how long I would have been trapped inside a nightmare. No, Trump wasn’t there. But alas, I’m starting to become like him. I dreamt of being trapped inside of a snowstorm with… Hillary Clinton, I swear. Chelsea Clinton had taken off. So a voice said we had to face her hubby ha-ha.

Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill! Where’s the science, though?

I often dream of women. Sans clothing… How many years has it been, Lady Lunalesca?

Talking to you AGAIN began because I had a terrible night with some woman, Lunalesca. A woman that was nowhere close to being mine. That’s why it’s no insult to not dream about Braxton’s Aunt. Honorary, mind you. Braxton wouldn’t have minded her in bed.

Only… I’ve never been close to having Cherry here, so I dream about her. Again, sans clothing. And how I begged… M Anime too. English and Latina women, dear Lunalesca.

But WHO broke me last night? Why am I so late talking to you? Between dishonoring my boy, bad dreams, and “busting a nut.” A brunette gymnast with pink fingernails.

Elaborate fantasies weren’t needed, Lunalesca.

Not that I could foot the bill for any of them? Do you remember all that money that went to my Old Man’s friend, Bill? I’m forty and barely pay any bills. My bum’s existence.

Lunalesca, I’m trying to figure out what that nightmare meant. If anything, for me. Hmm…

To recap, last night included fajita bowls and sour punch candy. So, my dietary habits.

Another night without a warm body beside me. Braxton’s in a box. Virgil was in B III’s room. Ironically, the only time I paid for “company” was for an adoption fee and a pretty maid.

It could be financial stress and betraying my boy. Braxton won’t have a stepmom, so why do I need a woman? Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil

1350 Days Without B III, Day 791 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 096 ~Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil~

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They say you don’t know what you got till it’s gone—pretty women in wrestling, “Pornhub,” and the peace that came from my boy. I’m addicted to the worst of things, and why not? B’s not here. And V’s… Then again, Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil.

Saturday, October 5, 2024

Meditation 096 ~Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I can feed all of my addictions. Businesses full of Yabbos. Biology like Umbrella.

And books? How I miss more books, more books. By the way, I miss my Braxton, too, forever and always. But my grief and mourning, my depression… Is this ACCEPTANCE?

Never, Lady Lunalesca! Even if I am forty. I will cry for more Lost Boy, my son, always and forever. Only… not every day. Have I ever told you how much I hate this existence?

But as the song plays, “You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to…” What? Whatever it is, it’s not good. This brings me to you today, Lady Lunalesca. Sure, I’m addicted to sadness. It all has to do with my boy, for the most part. Next is being forty. But this world…

“Oh no, the world is a scary place!” FEAR, Lunalesca.

Fear is not one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It’s not even a circle of Hell. And yet, it’s everywhere. It’s the only thing that I can say is worse than my Braxton’s passing, Luna.

Yes, I know. Who do I think I’m talking to, Inspector Echo? But between the waterworks that are my tears. And everything I have been losing these days… Everything, Lunalesca.

I wouldn’t call the WWE, everything… But I am… was hooked. “I’m a d$ck. I’m addicted,” to professional wrestling. Even more so than the Olympics. Remember how I missed them for the most part. Roxanne Perez, Piper Niven, Iyo Sky, Kelani Jordan, Tiffany Stratton, particular models and gymnasts. Continue? With my Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy… Let’s not forget about Lust.

Oh, look, actual sins. But what did I discover first? Was it after the Disowning Dish Debacle earlier this year? The wrestling I was streaming, I can’t now. Not with an eighty buck pricetag. Hell, Lady Lu, I don’t want to fork over six dollars for the next book in the Backyard Dungeon series. And the books I’ve been reading and looking up this morning… Um, Cherry would be proud. But speaking of hot BBWs of the UK, My Lady.

In certain states, they’ve banned specific websites for, let’s say, “adults.” Oh, I’m a man? Lunalesca, I can afford a VPN. And why? Because I’m addicted to Yabbos. But Lunalesca?

THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! Oh, the money I’d save and make remembering… Braxton, Braxton, Everywhere Virgil.

1343 Days Without B III, Day 784 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 089 ~That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil~

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I should make my bed because this isn’t my spot. I nearly push 2V off the edge when he’s here. And if I keep looking at some girl, I’ll have to do laundry. And if I wasn’t such a Lazy Ass, I could have a spot of my own. “That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil”

Saturday, September 28, 2024

Meditation 089 ~That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So I’ll have the maid clean up after Virgil. Just what I need… A maid fetish?

And here I go thinking about Madoka Araki from Discipline -The record of a Crusade-.

What, not my boys Braxton and Virgil? How about me as Emergence draws to a close? I can go back to something I said yesterday about not threatening Virgil. It’s only so many times I can wash the bed sheets when he decides to get sick. Hence, having a maid.

Lunalesca, Special K isn’t coming back. I know I can be a pain. And that is what brings you and me together today. As the song goes, “I’m just a sucker for pain.” Kinky, Lunalesca.

Today, as I was getting my rocks off,… more like edging to Madoka Araki, Jewel Staite, Special K, Cherry, a gymnast, etc.… There’s this question.

What is the difference between a kink and a fetish? As Forrest Gump said, “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is,” Lunalesca. Maybe not. I love you know who, though, Lunalesca.

Anyway, long story short, a kink is something you like to do. Roleplay, BDSM, Netorare? A fetish is something that must be present to achieve arousal, enjoyment, and satisfaction Lunalesca. And so, as I tried to distinguish between the two, I found an answer. Wow!

PAIN. Now, I can wax on poetically about my son. But again, Emergence month Lunalesca.

Let’s just say there’s a spot that such and such filled in life and in death, well there’s HIS spot on the floor, the nightstand, I still say HIS room.

But I can never find a spot to call my own, Luna. Like yesterday, I read downstairs because reading in bed or on the loveseat… It’s just not my spot. It shouldn’t be. Lazy Ass.

Lunalesca, if the critic wasn’t already not talking to me. More adult relations won’t help. But again, look at everything I’ve been reading. All the women are in some sort of pain, and the men… Who was it that said… “We fill each other’s holes.” Whether it be physically or otherwise. The pain is there, but it’s lessened. And there are spots to be happy.

Happy and at home… (Shudders). A spot to be seen, called smart, and be someone… Somewhere Only We Know? Braxton? Women? That’s Braxton’s Spot Virgil

1336 Days Without B III, Day 777 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 082 ~Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil~

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Advice to listen to… a great man said, “Make Your Bed.” When was the last time I did that? If I had, I wouldn’t be cleaning vomit off the bedroom floor from V. B knew better, even on his last days. Ahem, Emergence Day. Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil.

Saturday, September 21, 2024

Meditation 082 ~Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And “This Is America.” Money talks. But do I? To my sons, or “pretty, pretty girls.”

My longing to talk about my Braxton is like a broken record, especially after Emergence Day. It feels like an eternity since then. If only I had the means, Lady Lunalesca, ‘Every Day Will Be Like a Holiday.’ The music would drown out these thoughts.

But if I’m not listening to Childish Gambino or William Bell, how about Bobby Byrd… “Try It Again.” I broke my abstinence streak again, rattlingly off dirty, depraved, disgusting thoughts on a brunette. She can’t hear me. And neither can my pillow, Lady Lunalesca. But aren’t I the one that needs to listen… listen, hear, and understand? I do try.

But to who, what, and why? “It’s a wicked world that we live in.” Lunalesca?

Am I done with the radio yet? And there are only so many times I can listen to Succubus Lord, Satan’s Sorority Girls, or the Bikini Days series. And if it isn’t some work about girls sans clothes. Then I’m getting angry. For now, Lunalesca, all I can hear is the sound of my breathing.

Please! How is that different from any other day? When Virgil has me stressing out. Lunalesca, Virgil broke his streak of not getting sick on the carpet. He couldn’t warn me he was ill when we were outside mere minutes ago. I’m not a mind reader or a prophet, Lunalesca.

But according to a particular program, I could be a robot. It said “AI Generated Text.” Should I be flattered? I feel dead, not electronic.

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had AI help when it comes to, let’s say, Sofía’s Nightmare. Not that I’ve been working on that these past few days. I’ve been listening to the demands of my Day Job. I swear, Lunalesca, we need a new plague. I listen to the absolute worst people.

I find myself among the worst people. And then there’s Ma. When I’m not succumbing to my body’s worst inclinations, I fall ill like Virgil. The thought of texting Ma about a bill ties my stomach in knots. Today is the day, isn’t it, Lunalesca? The day I prove to be her failure son… Again.

Lunalesca, as a forty-year-old, I have no wise words. Advice for my past or future self…
Braxton’s Sound Advice, Virgil

1329 Days Without B III, Day 770 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 075 ~We’ll B Great Again~

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A Better World? Not a happy one. Nowhere near great or great again. Back when it was Good Night. Now, like the game Dying Light, it’s Good Night and Good Luck… I might not wake up. I miss such games, my son, my honorary sister. “We’ll B Great Again.”

Saturday, September 14, 2024

Meditation 075 ~We’ll B Great Again~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If I were… I’m sure I could figure out better things to do in the morning and at night… in bed.

Oh! I mean… besides saying goodnight to B III and then checking whether he’s around. Don’t I mean Virgil? Just when I thought we were getting a handle on his bathroom shenanigans, here comes the storm. And with it, more worries. No worries indeed, Luna.

Has there been a moment recently where I haven’t been horrified, hungry, or a horndog? And what was it I was doing this morning? A week after Emergence Day, Lunalesca. I found myself lost in thoughts about the past, present, and future. Stuff & Thangs.

Didn’t I tell M Anime once upon a time? I only want some beautiful girl in my arms as I just lay here and listen to 50s/60s Apocalyptic Pop Rock? Lunalesca, today it’s Far Cry 5 cult music. Scary huh?

Seriously! It beats my moaning. And what would I consider a great morning anyway, Lu?

When was I ever great? Now, I’ve been watching plenty of political theater these days. You know how I love music. It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Or dog eat cat. I swear from the presidential debate.

What I wouldn’t give to be a child again? Did I really just say that out loud. Don’t I remember my childhood? I wish I didn’t have to. Lunalesca, the English language, would be a lot more interesting. Words like Stupid, Happy, Home, Fear, and I could go on Lu.

Forty years old, and I’m still a child. And that kid was never great, either. But sometimes rare and few…

There was that time during my senior year of high school. There were five minutes. Lunalesca, I lay there on a bench… Alive and Happy. It was a rare moment of pure joy and contentment.

(GASP)

Indeed, that gasp, like the first few seconds after I finally… Uh? Have adult relations, experience manhood, make a mess, etc. For those few seconds, Lu before the depression.

And yet, I yearn to go back to a time when Tenchi Muyo was only an anime show on Toonami, and I wasn’t looking to see Ayeka and Ryoko sans their clothes. Oh Lady Lu… I miss the innocence and simplicity of those days. Sigh

Can I just go back to the days when my ‘adult collection’ was just a binder I hid from my Parents and not the ‘craziest’ stuff ever? It was such a simpler time, Lady Lunalesca.

Remember those days when I used to play video games with my sister or Braxton and watch movies with Braxton’s Aunt all the time? It was before the era of ‘Good Night, Good Luck. ‘ But just imagine Lunalesca. Somehow, someway. We’ll B Great Again

1322 Days Without B III, Day 763 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will