Tag: Lesson

Lesson 278 ~Something Beautiful To Spare~

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Destroying all that’s beautiful seems a messed up lot in life, which is why some take so much for themselves and the rest of us, a diamond in the rough, a lily amongst the thorns, “loving can hurt sometimes.” “Something Beautiful To Spare.”

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Lesson 278 ~Something Beautiful To Spare~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, but I can see everything now, for I have never been one for beer goggles, and I’m out of anything that gets me high, but I will accept I’m superficial, okay let’s say downright shallow. My drug of choice is sex, but I need the premium, the highest quality, I need that rush; some will say a life’s worth of porn will do that, but I prefer more than “The Missionary Position,” something inside me always has demanded more, awe-inspiring dominance.

I’ve been thinking about “Slaves To Passion” a lot lately and how Kaoru begins to use his former master’s wife and daughter to create art and after a great “sacrifice” he creates a grand work of art but then has to go home to his sexually frustrating wife. He loves her, but he cannot dare to do a quarter of the things he did to other women, he tries, and it doesn’t work for either of them sadly. I also mentioned yesterday “The Screwfly Solution” where sexual longing becomes transformed into a violent rage, where a man would take a woman to his bed instead well, don’t be beautiful ever.

My point is women I don’t find attractive could be lucky or unlucky, the reason this is unfortunate is that I want nothing more than to end it quickly, to fight, to be mad, but fortunate because I don’t drag it out, at least not with them. When a beautiful woman gets me riled up though, that anger, rage, that fire, becomes ravishing and that is what I dream… what to be beautiful, instead to “unleash the beast” but not precisely in a Purge sort of way. An enemy has but one purpose, to know destruction but a rose that cuts you, a puppy that bites you, a story that warps you can be pruned and grown, should know to submit and must be trained, can be polished and made into a masterpiece, the master himself is better as well.

I am the monster Dirty Diana, but the Beast sought to hurt those who threatened Belle, but he did not “eat” Belle, he locked her in his castle, commanded her, but during gave her a library and a wardrobe, he cared for her. He may have frightened her; he may hurt her as a man because this is what men do. Only by the beauty, she carried inside, and yes she was sexy outside. He knew healing; the beast was made handsome, he changes dramatically.

An ugly woman outside is one thing, ugly inside, I can hate but I take no pleasure, beautiful within *sigh* is my loss, but give me a woman beautiful both inside and out; I only ask Something Beautiful To Spare.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 277 ~Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest~

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It was a miracle that I didn’t go off, how about the fact that I didn’t get into more trouble, that I don’t have more problems, though I’m far from no worries, which included getting into the movies. Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest

Wednesday, April 04, 2018

Lesson 277 ~Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today but the day is nearly over. I tell you when you wake up in the morning; you can be at peace with the fairer sex and in five minutes before my shift ends you want to stomp #MeToo, wonder about The Screwfly Solution” and all you take from the “The Miracle Season” is volleyball players have cute butts. One sin Inspector Echo, all it takes is one, and then you know why there is a Highway to Hell, one big freaking wreck.

Now I am not a gentleman though I may “try” but you want to know what I want Inspector Echo, I want to go to bed and in a quest for that, five minutes, some “woman” the store custodian is busy having her social hour. I’ll admit I could have been nicer, but you spend your entire shift unloading a truck and putting out merchandise. So I simply tell her to watch out as I step over her bag of trash and pass a make-up “girl” who was taking pictures during her shift. “the word is “excuse me,” she says behind my back… she’s lucky the words weren’t “move bitch, get out the way” honestly.

I also wanted to talk about the termination of my Pinterest account; because undoubtedly some woman was behind that and I suppose I’ll be fending off emails for the next few days wondering what the hell happened, they won’t tell me. How quickly the day changes, from one humiliation and anger to the next, plus it’s late so that is another thing I will have to know forgiveness for, a lack of eloquence. How about rage, I was ready to march right back in there and have a face-off with the janitor, why not try that with my boss hmm?

I swear Inspector by the end of the day I engaged in all seven deadly sins and most before lunch, but it all began with one bitch who would instead party than doing her damn job and the thing is what didn’t matter to her after five seconds will stick with me for five months. You still remember why I have been writing for two hundred and seventy-seven days right, I swear I feel like Adam thinking oh Eve you have done it now dear.

Forgive me for not listing out every sin, for my exhaustion, for my rage and madness, but there is a reason Hell is an eternity thinking Excuse Me, Miss Pinterest.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 276 ~Put Your Feet Up~

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I should probably be searching the world while I’m by myself to find my future but aren’t I too busy building Heaven… maybe the dog likes to eat, but I will “try” to find dog-friendly hotels while I’m planning a vacation. “Put Your Feet Up”

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Lesson 276 ~Put Your Feet Up~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, and I can tell you aren’t either; after I catch the dream girl and our kids. It seems we are always playing catch-up and with that, the truth is, we could use a vacation. I’d preferably not do a whole lot of walking, sandals, and flip-flops aren’t my thing but only long enough to stick our toes in the sand is enough.

I want to walk hand in hand with you on those trails I once took by these lakes in the old neighborhood I used to roam, I mean I would sit by those lakes and write… nothing against fishing but it would just be me and my notebook. What about something usual like Disney World. A whole lot of walking, standing, and more chasing, shall I become a prince against and seek out my princess, or maybe I’ll smile as my daughter rejects the Jedi and joins the Sith, we could even travel the world in a day, World Showcase.

We could travel the world honestly; it’s funny that I was thinking about not taking one step out… still a possibility but there is so much to see, so much to do, a whole new world. My parents were traditionalists, so I only know Disney in Florida and Universal Studios really and speaking of which, things to do without the kids… The Purge Horror Nights would be right up my alley. To me, that would be somewhat equal to taking you through Michael Jackson’s Thriller, or we could do Saw; maybe a real zombie horror show; looking for a reason.

Why not pull out all the stops how about Japan or China, there are so many places I want to visit, Pairs is the city of Love and Amsterdam… what I don’t drink a lot and cigarettes kill, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been high. Yes, you’re my angel, my princess in a tower but the whole idea is not to work for it. Only, for now, I suppose that is what we’re doing; America, America as the song goes, but we will take pictures with our phones and cut off my incredible Purge playlist just saying.

Yeah, we’ll put our feet up on the couch and play some Fortnite Battle Royale or PUGB and order a pizza because, Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday when my baby comes home because you been running through my mind all day so go ahead, Put Your Feet Up.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 275 ~People Lie, Don’t Stand There~

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I talked about taking ten steps last week, and now I don’t know whether to stand or run, but at the end of the day I can’t lie down, but isn’t that what I did at work today *sigh* then again I might need that breath. People Lie, Don’t Stand There now

Monday, April 02, 2018

Lesson 275 ~People Lie, Don’t Stand There~

Twenty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, but I am not dead yet which is one of the meanings of this rule; this is but another way to say that I will not join the dead. I will not wait my turn; I will not mourn my life away or even dance on their graves as much as I may want to. The second concept of this rule is a lesson I learned again today, people will lie about you, people will want you to stand for this, but if you hold to their lies what else can you do but fall?

“ let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.” Kylo Ren

Given my many chances with death or maybe just this moment, I don’t want to die, the plethora of zombie entertainment shows an overwhelming majority when faced with the dead, stand and fight, or they run, but all choose to live. I have never been one to mourn the dead, my grandmother, aunts, more family, and maybe you could call me heartless, but I do not wallow in tears or even blood, because I can’t swim, there’s a rule in there somewhere, right? Once those that hurt me are gone why do they deserve another drop of sweat, I got my quart of blood, in the end, I need only move on, always keep moving.

“Compromise where you can. Where you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, ‘No, *you* move’.” Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Now call me a hypocrite but in the same token when somebody lies on me, sweeps something under the rug, I move and I find another place to stand; take my general manager today, what did he make me out to be today, a coward. A man would have moved, a man would have gotten in his face and asked him, who the fuck does he think he’s talking to, does this man think he can call me out like this, an on a racial note a black man tearing another black man down. Allow me to break a bit of a personal record since I haven’t mentioned that bitch in a while but my name is Will, capital WILL and I’m not skeevy, creepy, or some would-be obsessive. She’s not worth the time; I’m just a stupid guy that liked a more idiotic girl.

Some falsehoods should be lying in the dirt, that doesn’t mean you have to dig each one up and the ones that you do, you expose, no more skeletons will find a home in my closet. No more masks either, as I ponder which one to wear today because I know the truth don’t I, People Lie, Don’t Stand There.
“Truth is singular. Its “versions” are mistruths.” Cloud Atlas (2012)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 274 ~Truest Sentence You Know~

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A start but life gets in the way or in keeping one promise I might have to break another and that doesn’t sound right at all, just like over three thousand words isn’t the same as five thousand and what about tomorrow. “Truest Sentence You Know”

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Lesson 274 ~Truest Sentence You Know~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today will not do, even if it is the “truest” sentence for the moment and indeed that is no way to start a novel, no way to start a life, and both need to start today, right now. Again you are starting late today but if yesterday I could pull off five thousand words you can do the same thing and “Indiana Gone” has faith in you but talk about trust being sorely misplaced.

“Faith,” I wonder did they know that the Bible would take off the way it did; I suppose that’s more of a question for Lady Sophia. Hell, today should be all about Jesus, watching more “Far Cry 5,” do you remember the days of watching “The Ten Commandments” with the family. Talk about being greatly written but more importantly are your stories, maybe we should start thinking of them as goals that you wish to create and for those you will need more than a pen and a pad as Dr. Dre put it. Only isn’t that how it begins, with a pen and a pad, to nickels and dimes, to more paper and speaking of paper how about those six impossible things written down:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 015 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Survive Inventory Tomorrow
Completed
4. I Will Finish Reading “Galahad Suns”
Completed
5. I Will Review Pacific Rim: Uprising
Completed
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Once
Completed

Now I feel like you should try harder, though it came down to the wire, I just finished writing the Pacific Rim: Uprising review yesterday and posting it, and I drove to Starbucks through a storm, and I didn’t have to, a test of courage. Isn’t writing something you know is going to suck a test of courage, you should probably think up a rule to stop putting yourself down if one does not already exist. That right there is the thing, you know the story that you WILL start today all that you need now is to get it out of you and stop making up a million excuses.

To be honest, though I know you’re at a lost for the next six impossible things though I can think of three right off the bat; another great story, The Walking Dead though I’ll share my disdain for Scott Gimple as well. Speaking of writers, I even did “Cherry” a solid reviewing her work, but it always comes back to me and now you, too busy trying to understand other people’s work what about yours, let’s start six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 022 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not “Beg,” ”Cherry or Okay”
4. I Will Complete 50% of “VLAD”
5. I Will Start My New Book Today
6. I Will “Get Out” Of This House Other Than Shopping

So you know what you have to do, the ideas are already beginning to flow all you need do now is write them out, find the Truest Sentence You Know.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 273 ~Tell Me A Story~

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Today has been one productive day, I didn’t tell a story but a few reviews down and tomorrow the real work begins, and that’s when I will have to live up to these words, this promise I suppose. Tell Me A Story, soon and not soon enough

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Lesson 273 ~Tell Me A Story~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today but I prefer you not tell me a joke now and especially not tomorrow, and maybe it’s fate that I start writing my next novel tomorrow as the Christians will be all joy and rapture at what they say is “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” Hell how many people go to bed at night hoping that they never have to wake up, even Jesus didn’t make it through his thirties just saying.

Tell me an excuse and yes I’m going on and on about the Pinterest thing; the Internet is sort of like my medication, and I need the right balance of things to keep me centered if that makes any sense. I think I’m starting to understand the rage and the fear of the sound of silence, shouldn’t I know by now no one’s listening to me; it’s one thing when you see your world and they can’t but when your world hides from you… Losing an account has only happened once with Yahoo, but what have I said about defending your one inch of nothing?

Tell me is that why I write about sex all the time, I’m sure many would agree or was I the only one who found the one-inch thing dirty, like Big Ten Inch, or twelve steps. Honestly, I’m not in the mood. It doesn’t matter if I’m in the mood or not because tomorrow I will be writing, yes I need to repeat those words over and over, make them my mantra but it’s like I’m just hitting a brick wall. Hard as a rock honestly, I know, I’ll stop it, but I’m in a rush for no particular reason other than my made-up time constraints, and maybe I should turn my phone off, maybe?

Tell me something good, but before that, I’ll probably be stuck saying something stupid like I love you… what I tell the dog I love him every day, and I reveal to that girl “Cherry” other things, but I’m getting better with that. Today I should be yelling to the masses *crickets chirping*, *tumbleweed blows through*, okay I should ask myself how I feel about movies and books on the blog, writing something Lady Lu.

Tell me it’s been five thousand words already but no, I got a late start today which means I’ll be missing even more sleep but if I could sleep I’d say Tell Me A Story.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 272 ~Not Good At Goodbye~

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A picture is worth a thousand words, but now that I have no pictures does that mean that I have no words, perish the thought, perhaps Pinterest did me a favor but on the other hand… “Not Good At Goodbye” I know that

Friday, March 30, 2018

Lesson 272 ~Not Good At Goodbye~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today, and if I’m perfectly honest, I may be a bit worse than most days because as they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so with what happened, I’ll need to get a lot more writing done. What would I do if only once I had the opportunity to say goodbye, trust me I’ve been on the brink before… no worries, I’m not there now, I’ve been called to explain myself for any number of reasons.

Speaking of the brink though, I’ve never felt the need to explain, or to say goodbye, I have a lifetime of work to answer for me, and I still don’t think that it’s enough, it probably never will be. There have been plenty of aspirin and sleeping pills, for doctors to tell my parents what was the exact proportions that did me in and yet there would be a million questions if I figured they cared that much. Talk about a search history that should have put me away years ago and files with the police, but maybe it will be a picture that finally does me in this time.

I’m sure I sound like a whiny baby, but at this time yesterday, despite the many wins and losses that day brought the gravest loss… besides PCH and another $10.00 is the fact that I lost my Pinterest account. Yeah, I hear you, I’m honestly writing about losing Pinterest, but hey they didn’t write about taking it either, and it hasn’t been twenty-four hours yet, depended upon when I decided to drag my carcass out of bed again yesterday. It’s only now 5:30 AM and the loss is Pinterest, but the win is another idea for a book, perhaps a novel of suicide notes or maybe my protagonist in the book I’m writing will use some suicide note in one of his crimes maybe, possibly?

Here’s another thing, as I said I’m not good at goodbye, but if I’m anyone of merit, a man of my word, I need to say goodbye to my free time, for when it comes to writing you know I have to start writing my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo. Instead, here I am sniveling over Pinterest because there was no explanation, no warning, and no goodbye, so should I grab a tub of ice cream and change into comfy well comfier clothes, maybe you think?

I could get some real writing done, I’ve got books to plan and reviews to write and like I said before, Lady Sophia you know I’m Not Good At Goodbye.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 271 ~Are You Positive K~

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What’s your man got to do with me or what’s your lack of a man got to do with me, only if they are all out of f*s to give, well suddenly I can’t find the time, compliments, or cash, that’s not bitterness just fact. “Are You Positive K”

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Lesson 271 ~Are You Positive K~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, but that’s like saying I’m not Superman today, better I’m not Black Panther either, no I’m afraid, I’m usually the villain, but even they get the girls, e.g., Killmonger. Yesterday was all about sin, you can talk to Inspector Echo about that but funny how this didn’t come up as a crime, a humiliation, dare I suggest that I’m a cuckold?

Perish the thought Diana, I’m somewhere in the middle of let’s say Cyrano de Bergerac and Positive K “I Got A Man” in case you were wondering, so you know what that makes me; they call me the nice guy. These days I’m stuck between keeping my word and being an idiot, how many times have I talked about being the ‘gay best friend’ I’ve gone from writing pretty words to buying pretty clothes, not for me of course. I know this ‘potential’ submissive who made it a point to tell me she was wearing something I bought her for her man and that she was going to send pictures… yeah scary I had faith.

What about “Cherry” I’ve been talking to lately, she told me she wants to spend her days on her back but yeah I’m not good enough for her, but every day I have to call her and others beautiful and why, because I’m the stupid nice guy. Now what makes me a “bad man” either one, I’m trying to steal them away, I mean when you’re buying underwear for a girl that isn’t yours… if somebody did that to one of my girls, I’d kick his ass yeah. Two the fact that I’m a voyeur; if I can’t have the girl I don’t mind hearing about it, getting the naughty pictures or the lack thereof, again playing Cyrano watching the girl he loves getting fucked by the guy she wants.

“The willingness to walk away, above all other factors, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and to fully believe that you’ll never see or hear from her again, because women instinctively know when you’re faking.”
― Roosh V, Bang: The Pickup Bible That Helps You Get More Lays

You know this honestly explains some of my fetishes besides voyeurism, for example, cosplay, dressing a girl up since she would rather pretend, exhibitionism, to be seen and desired by many, and the whole gangbang scenario though I’m not one to share. Last night though was a step in the right direction; when I stopped calling Cherry beautiful and sexy, and the pictures just flowed, she doesn’t even have a man but when I’m not all sweet on her well…

Anyway, I will continue to keep my word but if a girl’s in a relationship, yes even a terrible one Dirty Diana, or she doesn’t want me should I want her… the answer must be no, Are You Positive K.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 270 ~Let’s Have The Noise~

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Be quiet, shut up, that’s enough noise and isn’t it a dog’s duty to warn his human, but I can take his barking a lot better than the words of most people. He’s indeed his father’s son. Let’s Have The Noise

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Lesson 270 ~Let’s Have The Noise~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today but do you think I will tell anyone; oh sure my fingers hitting these keys, the way I groan when my dog wants me to wake-up and live, the way my heart sounds like thunder whenever the phone rings or there’s a knock upon my chamber door.

Hell sometimes I think I’m turning the pages too loud, which is just another reason I use my Kindle; a small excuse, I can carry my library anywhere but still those damn pages in traditional books. How about the words that I don’t say out loud but are bold on the covers, and even my fashion sense, I find red to be a loud color, but black isn’t supposed to speak… did that sound racist, when you think about it, yeah, people of color aren’t allowed to speak against the status quo. Something else I’ve noticed is I shuffle my feet; don’t I have the strength to lift them anymore other than heading up the stairs to paradise… my bed?

Is it my pride, I think words should have such power and when I speak men tremble, honestly ask my general manager, why do my answers frighten him so; I’m a fan of the second amendment but even more so of the first. Inspector Echo you have heard me say again I do such damage to myself before I ever consider hurting another, don’t I see my words do the most damage. If anything I am the walking embodiment of “The Sound of Silence,” and we know how people can’t take that, they are much too afraid of the truths they will hear, only aren’t I telling myself stories nightly?

My gravest sin today is not giving them forgiveness, their absolution, as though “just kidding” has ever been a salve to me; haven’t I said this before, that laughter perhaps is the worst sound. No one has seen or heard my tears in ages and they never will again as the song goes “but to cry in front of you, that’s the worst thing I could do,” so I’m not that great a sinner am I Inspector Echo, you think?

So I ask forgiveness first and foremost for myself, haven’t I said the point is to make noise, and I’m still so afraid, yes I am scared to be; I’m sorry I can endure the silence like any other pain, and I won’t give that pain to others. I’m sorry I won’t give them what they ask for; saying no to, Let’s Have The Noise.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 269 ~What’s In The Male~

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Love is supposedly in everything, for everyone, or so people would have you believe and what I think is that such a word should have power, that they should feel you up, singing all you need is love. “What’s In The Male”

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Lesson 269 ~What’s In The Male~

Dear Future Wife:
I Am Not Fine Today, how can I be, when we first met I didn’t have the guts to talk to you and yet somehow here we are, and somehow I still don’t believe it. The echoes are going on in my mind; wait a second “where is my mind” I suppose like most it rests in my smartphone along with all of my music; now my empty hands but we’ll come back to that won’t we?

My will became your wish, and “your wish is my command,” and so did my ringtone apparently, though I felt I was losing nothing, how could I, why must I ask again and again what I had to offer you. Now I am not a man of faith, but as I learned from my childhood, Jesus gave his life, Adam his rib, and God his time, what all does any man have but his future? Now, this heart truly belongs to you, my future is in the other room, and when I felt hollow and empty, as I wonder what even makes me myself anymore…

Women give life, my mother created a son, she tried to make me a gentleman but as she would tell me, I would find my way and I became a man out of love for her. Call me greedy, call me selfish, but I am a man out of love for you my dear wife, I say I became a man out of love for them, and still I wanted more. How this goes far beyond just being a male or being human, son, man, lover, husband, father, friend, brother. Okay, I’m working on the brother part, ask the sister I text, and the two half-brothers I don’t talk to ever, that’s a lot, right?

What lies inside me is love, I gave my heart, and you gave me yours, along with 3.5 others, yes the dog is always included. There are days without the echoes because your words fill my head with such comfort.

There are far more incredible things than my phone when I take your hand in mine, and I find there is always so much more to give, that I go from empty to overflow, but I don’t have to contain it, not with you my love, do I? To this day I wonder will it ever be enough, but women ask, What’s In The Male?

I Will Have No Fear