Tag: Life

Episode 016 ~Sorry To Bother You~

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I’m not one for a good pick up line and who knows how her life is going and as the song goes “you make me better” and is that selfish of me, I only want to do the same for her but how will I do that. Sorry To Bother You.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Episode 016 ~Sorry To Bother You~

Dear Future Wife,
Give Me One Reason to, well I’m a man, and you’re a woman, seems to me that’s what men are meant to do and how I can picture all the men that might have annoyed you, irritated, or maybe you were downright vexed, but I’m the one you said yes to. Forever and a day, Good Luck because while I don’t believe I snore, you more than anyone will learn how hard I work not to be a bother and you’re Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite?

Yeah, I’m sure, we’ve had this conversation before, I’m not one of those men addicted to his phone, I wouldn’t be so lazy, but I’m going to quote the hell out of movies, shows, music, and authors. I’m going to take so many pictures, so I can give you those Thousand Words that you deserve, and if I have a full-time fan, well you’re already well read, and I’ll Be the greatest fan of your life… would I honestly put that in wedding vows? Singing in the shower lets the dog know I’m safe while he sits outside but I don’t want to wake you since I usually get up early to write, and How Do You Talk To An Angel, big coffee drinker perhaps?

That right there is probably my most annoying habit, not the fact that I don’t drink coffee, I know where Starbucks is, but I am going to ask you are you okay, I’m going to worry, I’ll want to know if there is anything you need; half of that our love life and the other… *ahem* LOVE life. Sometimes I’ll wonder why you aren’t off saving the world, and when you’re reading a book, that’s a sacred time to the both of us, and when this world gets to be too much, I rather we be together but you know I’m about space myself a bit. You might feel it yourself, whenever I’m writing, maybe the dog is reclaiming his place with me, and especially when I’m wearing headphones, turning the world off just saying.

I want you to understand though, no matter what Baby You’re My Light and I don’t mean for only one song, a bad day, and that’s why I guess I get scared because I don’t wish to be one of your problems; I want you always to feel beautiful, to be the one you turn to. Anything to Make You Feel My Love and I’m sorry if I haven’t but like the first day we met, Sorry To Bother You.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 015 ~Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map~

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Finding inspiration, yeah I pretty much burned the boats and took a walk into the jungle and should I survive, it means staying awake, and that involves some creativity too, but Spotify is helping. “Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map”

Monday, July 16, 2018

Episode 015 ~Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map~

Forty-First Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason it doesn’t, but it would help for damn sure especially these days, I’m looking at nine thousand more words, I’m taking static from people about the rules, and staying awake is getting harder. There were days when all I needed was to sit by the lake, feet in the water and wait to be hit by something, how about when there was a pretty girl… yeah ain’t that creepy, and I’ll be the first one to admit technology makes us lazy.

Nowadays I’m less inspiration and more motivation, but if you need to know what started me down this way, it would have to be listening to a speech on Spotify like I was telling “Indiana Gone” the other day, I suppose Spotify knows inspiration by my musical selections. However for most men if you want to know what motivates them, it’s in their pants and the same can be said of women or more to the point in a man’s genes and that’s why nice guys finish last. No, I’m not being bitter, raised a gentleman, but indeed I’m a Bad Man Madam Justice sadly.

I don’t like to think I’m one to be influenced by what I take in but you can take a look at my novel and see which direction I’m going in, and what is I said about the rules on Whisper. Someone’s upset that I used a quote from Mockingjay, *sigh* it didn’t stop me from being one to Bless them and tell them to Get It Now “I Will Not Stop,” how easy inspiration comes from anger amongst other things. If you can’t deal with me quoting movies, songs, books and everything else on a daily basis then we probably can’t be friends, I Can’t Go For That no.

Still, here we are Madam Justice and what inspired me to be here, and you know the answer to that, and no you’re not going to hear Elsa; only because I can do better Let It Go… Let Her Go, and I have, I swear, please believe me. So with that being the case where does Inspiration lead me, to the bank hopefully, to the bookshelves of some bookstore, to my future and am I lost, I don’t think I am, story wise though possibly…

Follow your heart is something I’ve heard a lot of lately and honestly I wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something, there, of course, it could be a Black Hole but if I don’t drop dead from lack of sleep I’m Will, There’s A Way, Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

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Pride is energizing while humiliation is exhausting and I got more than a dose staring into all of those mirrors today or was it the panic attack; I haven’t known such fear since watching “stuff,” on my “father’s” computer. Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason to feel PRIDE, and I have 38,990 words for it, I put my mind to it, and though I was a tiny bit late with each day I didn’t give up, I didn’t ever give up, but Saturday honestly sucked. How’s the start of your week, last week it was all about names and you couldn’t remember one girl’s name standing right in front of you, how about the Panic Attack you had reading about your responsibilities and bravo changing your schedule and leaving it on your boss’s desk.

I don’t mean to be such a dick and speaking of which today you have to do something about yours; over one hundred days made you hungry, a hunter, hardcore, and you toss it all away on some mom’s mammaries? Too Much Information TMI as the kids say but the thing is what I’m most proud of I believe is crap but I got it done even if nobody sees it but that’s what we do every day. The stuff you did today was all failures, “success in progress” and even if nobody sees this the fact has you put it out there for you, in hopes that you can be better like Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 001)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Yard Needs Cutting, Punishments, Bath Time
3. I Will Visit The Library The Entire Week
Completed
4. I Will Complete 50% Of “Legacy of Succession” by Anna Edwards
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Failed
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Nine Thousand Words Minimum
(Total 24,400) Completed (38,990)

Knocks me down a peg or two, fifty percent is an F if I’ve ever seen one and at this rate 99 1/2 won’t do; you have to head straight to the top, you are not meant to be live like this, and it’s time, to be honest. Funny how humiliating it was to barge into other people’s business today, housekeeping and all, I remember how sick I was using the bathroom there, but the point has you put yourself out there all the time, your hopes, dreams, and beliefs. How about women, how much time do you have for that, if you can put one in her place that will be enough for this week, well no, in fact, I expect more from you as always Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Complete “Apocalypse Rush” (50,000 Words)

I am proud of you Will that you survived today despite everything, you many consider today an act of cowardice, and I’m always saying have no fear, and you continue to believe it. As the song goes, “it seems to me that maybe, it pretty much all ways means no” and if your boss doesn’t hear so good well yell out as you did today, “Housekeeping” because it’s time you did that in your life despite Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Do Your Worse Because I’m The Man Or I Hope…

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 012 ~What’s On The Menu~

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When you want (BLANK) as badly as you want to breathe, it’s then you’ll have, I can put any word or series of words, success, food, going back to the house, but writing is my life, only more so, and writers have weird dreams. What’s On The Menu?

Friday, July 13, 2018

Episode 012 ~What’s On The Menu~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to keep writing when people are hungry; I did all my shopping yesterday and you know I’ve been tightening my belt, and with the dog… well, you know how he feels about me not eating as usual? Not eating, not sleeping though there was a Hell of a dream last night with the few hours that I did get and I like ribs as much as the next guy but they weren’t two hundred dollars’ worth of good, and there I go, hungry.

Hungry for success, this entire week has been about writing, now you know how I am about my novel writing but the fact is to get it done, whatever it takes, don’t give up, don’t ever give up, focus, discipline, all buzzwords but I’ve been at the library from open to nearly close. You know I wrote about two pages I believe on turkeys taking over the world, and I’m not even that much a fan of turkeys, I mean Thanksgiving is alright, but I’m much more of a ham man honestly. So I wish I could tell you I wanted to figure out what my barbecue dream meant but I’m grinding, I’m hustling with five thousand words a day, every day I’m here, no wonder I’m dreaming about food now, but I’m still lacking.

Maybe I’m dreaming about a day that I won’t have a budget, I felt pretty sad about losing the money in my dream but someday I want to be like freaking “Brewster’s Millions” because you know how much I like spending it; haven’t gotten my PS4 or Detroit Become Human yet. It could be something like “Okay” teaching me that BBQ recipe and I didn’t kill us both with it, strangely enough, I have more faith in my cooking than I have in my writing, at least it’s proven fit for human consumption. How about the fact that I usually see ribs and such on the grill and the whole plot of my book as of late is all about fire, should I mention the fact that I don’t know how to grill, never have.

Other than shopping the other day I burned some money when I didn’t want to go into work next week on and off day, and I even screwed up getting out of doing the “Clean” thing at work. Can I not just be proud of the fact that I have gotten so far in my novel although I know I want to burn it, only I would probably screw up writing menus too, but for tonight What’s On The Menu?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 011 ~How Lust Last Forever~

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How old is Barbie, Galatea, or the Mona Lisa, I suppose I could look them up, and if I asked about Stormy Daniels career, I would only be some guy that likes porn, and you wouldn’t ask about the beautiful woman. How Lust Lasts Forever?

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Episode 011 ~How Lust Last Forever~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to write about her other than she’s hot, I’ll wait… yeah no one can sit forever, but these words should they ever know a publisher; I don’t want everyone to know how “freaky-deaky” I am, what turns me on as if that’s a secret one can hope. Novel talk might be more of a conversation for Lady Sophia but seeing as how I’ve getting inspired by two porn stars “Stormy Daniels” and “Bryci,” a Cosplayer “Angie Griffin” not to mention an ex-love interest here and there truthfully.

Of course, names are changed and let me say that the library has worked out for me, forces me to keep my hands on my keyboard, and I don’t want to look up porn, I know I have plenty saved up. I also haven’t bothered with being polite like with a love letter, a road I’m Never Going Back Again, because it’s creepy when you know the author, back when I wrote for other people, guys ended up fucking some beautiful girl. Men write songs, produce films like “500 Days of Summer” one of the greatest lessons I ever learned when it comes to writing.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.”

“That guy had a lot more sex than me.” ― 500 Days of Summer (2009)

One more reason I’m a dominant, I want to make an impression, that I can’t only be some standard dick to ride, that I want a woman to remember, as the song goes “guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand.” I want a woman to Stay With Me; in a way, they all do to be sure. I can fuck a woman until she can’t walk for a bit. Until she’s speaking so many lies over the phone so she can Stay, and of course scarves and her lingerie are fun to be sure. So when I finally find my forever will I quit writing, of course not, I’m even thinking of ways to incorporate sex with Camp NaNoWriMo other than erotica, if I find YouTube distracting or a blowjob while driving what about while writing novels?

I still remember when getting my porn fix meant praying for HBO, Showtime, Cinemax to show some soft-core or stealing my father’s pornos, and when I first discovered Hentai, now those were some fun times. I have never forgotten that I’m a guy that likes boobs and that girls what, That’s What I Like, breasts, eyes, thighs, though I have my preferences as always though not set in stone but honestly How Lust Lasts Forever?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 010 ~A Question Of Literacy~

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I can lose myself in a decent book, a hard class, or a pretty face, but while some I eventually come to understand the others well… let’s say all the fiction in the world isn’t helping me deal with liars. “A Question Of Literacy?”

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Episode 010 ~A Question Of Literacy~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give Me One Reason to keep going, discipline, character, fight, heart, I could go on and on as I listen to motivational speeches every day, I’m not ashamed of that. If you’re curious, I even had a self-help phase, along with a religious one. If it weren’t for reading, I probably would have taken my life years ago and while I still adamantly refuse to listen to audiobooks, Audible for example, those speeches, these books I read on Kindle… such is salvation.

I’ve said this before, but I can’t read people, not face to face anyway, I’ve only ever put down three books in my entire life, but I’m ready to write off the human race, or such as my novel dictates. Do you know why I took French in school Inspector Echo, because I wanted to learn the “language of love” as it were, and where did that get me; I failed that class in spectacular fashion. My “father” wanted me to take Spanish, what so he could call me STUPID in a whole other language; I’ve never been so fortunate to fail a class. However, the pain I read well.

You know what I haven’t been able to get off my mind, as always the day job and you know who, offers a strip tease for my dog and me, now that’s what I heard but translations as follows “I like you,” “I’m fucking with you” and finally “TROUBLE.” The things we choose to see, to listen, to hear, and to understand and I can’t understand a word like “Clean” at the day job, all I know is it scares me, it gives me such Anxiety. I have spent my life in books, both reading, and writing and it seems the question as to why I haven’t published one becomes quite clear, I might as well look at porn and Pinterest, like a male version of “The Handmaid’s Tale” maybe.

Don’t get me wrong a picture is not worth a thousand words, but if I write the only word I see is monster, and the same goes, for watching a pretty girl dancing, I need only look at myself in the mirror, and I have all the instructions I could ever need. So will you forgive me Inspector Echo for not thinking much of audiobooks, my course failures, for wanting to read some girl, my fear, my “success in progress” and for my somewhat sour mood, I’m tired, reading, writing such A Question Of Literacy?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 008 ~Passion The WILL To Win~

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Do whatever you have to and I know I’m nowhere near polite with my writing but it is my passion, it’s what I want to do for the rest of my life for a variety of reasons, most I’m still attempting to WRITE out. “Passion The Will To Win”

Monday, July 09, 2018

Episode 008 ~Passion The WILL To Win~

Fortieth Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason to stay here as the song goes, I’m still at the library writing and talking to you when usually I would be at the house asleep by now, of course, this hasn’t been the perfect day, anywhere near but I’m up. Not in that way, not anymore besides what happened at the house and then going to work, speaking of work there is no passion there only the need I suppose to survive one more day.

No Madam Justice writing is my passion, and my name is Will, now if I stopped thinking with my willy and get some work done which is one more reason I’ve switched locations because I keep my hands on my keyboard. The question is will I win and I have to believe that I will, the first sign of passion is that you are willing to do whatever you “love” for free and not to toot my own horn only the words have flown for how long? Now if I could take this philosophy to every other aspect of my life, you know like have a passion for standing up for myself, perhaps to get the girl and one more?

How about the passion that I carry for all of my fandoms, I’m pretty damn loyal to “The Walking Dead,” “Detroit: Become Human,” “Into The Badlands” and plenty of other things. Of course, you’ll bring up women; I remember years ago I wasn’t passionate enough about my damn name, but when that rage bubbled up, I wrote a pretty long rant about my job, and things changed. I would say I won but what happened today… brunettes are but one more clue that life, in general, doesn’t give me anything but the passion for being somebody, for being better that is what gives me the drive I need to do something in my life honestly.

I’ll have plenty of time to write about it today, that’s right I should be well on my way because while I may have already screwed up my six impossible things, winning five of them is something, but I need to win them all, All I Do Is Win. That’s passion, for being the best at everything that I want to do because the life I’m living now… most days I wonder why I’m getting up truthfully, From Now On, Passion The Will To Win.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 007 ~Whenever You’re Ready Neo~

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The first post of year two and I have to start off with failure; I feel somewhat like I fell off the wagon but let my new addiction be my words with the life I want to make perhaps reshaping my Matrix as it were. “Whenever You’re Ready Neo”

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Episode 007 ~Whenever You’re Ready Neo~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason for failure; there isn’t one, now regret, disappointment, Idiocracy sure but if there is one thing I’m sure of is that you’re lazy but each week is the same thing though this one was particularly difficult. You should be in a more positive mindset I’m sure, something you should focus on but I can’t fault you for feeling the way you do, high hopes.

This week looks promising, and you’re even working in the library though if this went as well as yesterday; you didn’t go to the movies though, and you need to keep fighting that feeling especially now. Would it help to get rid of all the stress *sigh* thought you already did that but there was nothing there waiting for you other than release and now a fight uphill since you gave into temptation. Now you’re not Neo, okay I’ll stop with the negative, and that’s a promise, but we have to go ahead and get the facts out of the way, those six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 113** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 120**) (Day 001)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
4. I Will Complete 75% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Failed
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Ten Thousand Five–Hundred Words At Least
(Total 15,400) Completed (17,010)

You know how you’re feeling you don’t have to say, but this week you have the opportunity to put a real dent in your writing, the dog is off punishment, for now, and the fact that, you know who didn’t show up; if anything that’s a win. Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I have no real advice to share or I’m only wanting to be a man of my word and that’s never a bad thing. Don’t look at these as bad things. Honestly, I’m going to start sounding like one of those motivational speeches soon, but the truth is the truth you can’t fight it, these six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Visit The Library The Entire Week
4. I Will Complete 50% Of “Legacy of Succession” by Anna Edwards
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Nine Thousand Words Minimum
(Total 24,400)

Do you see how we’re upping the ante because you know you’re better than this, your dog thinks you’re the best thing ever and last week didn’t we discuss what you’re doing this all for and if you have what it takes to do it for work, then why not this? I don’t want to say anything that sounds cliché; save the brain cells for the writing… yeah you know I truly wanted to say something right there, don’t you?

Maybe we should start calling the six impossible things promises, would that help, or work directives. What you genuinely need is a Morpheus for when you finally decide to start getting some things done you know Whenever You’re Ready Neo.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 005 ~Leave It To Printer~

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Every day the writing gets worse, either on my screen, on my face, on my sleeve, wherever as they say to write all you need to do is bleed and considering the pain these past few days. “Leave It To The Printer”

Friday, July 6, 2018

Episode 005 ~Leave It To Printer~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to write it, one reason not to; aren’t I always asking for reasons to be a writer, in middle school other than that story about turkeys I had my head buried in a book, nowadays it’s earphones. I also say I can never speak my mind; I’m always laughing, smiling, making some random noise because everybody has a story and I don’t want to read it or maybe I’m illiterate when it comes to people even in writing.

Of course, the killers in my latest novels are reflections of myself but why is it that everyone in my life can either, see my humiliation and my fear, and they speak it so the whole damn world can hear. Two, they think they have the right to write out my story, my destiny in their fairytales like The Adjustment Bureau and since there is no chairperson to be had? Three they don’t want the story to end, no more like I’m a joke but once you have the punchline there is no more fun, and that leaves me here broken, and if anything, I should be working on my story and not contemplating contacting HR again, for hurt feelings.

Excuse me Lady Sophia for repeating past mistakes; I do take responsibility I do put myself out there and let my critics eat me alive in case you were wondering why I’m so into the undead, in horror; killers for the most part work alone, but I face an army. I already said before I write these stories about how I think people should be then I live and I’m wrong on all counts and so what I write becomes well… “STUPID” and even now I can’t tell you the whole story. No, I leave that to my fiction, and nobody sees that either, but I was listening to motivational speakers all morning, and I don’t fear failure, I dread returning to my day job every day and being everything they want me to be.

If anything shouldn’t that be enough to give the printer whatever remains of me, hell shouldn’t I buy a new printer anyway, as always I need to take my writing more seriously instead of worrying about the blog amongst other things. Paper makes plenty of noise Lady Sophia, and with plenty of green, I still don’t know how to look at people or what will be their next fairytale, but all I am, my next novel Leave It To Printer.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 004 ~Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions~

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While I never thought about being a wrestler, there was a time I was a big fan, and a part of me still is apparently, but I need more than a picture and more than a thousand words on most days. Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions, distracting.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Episode 004 ~Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to keep liking brunettes, girls with dark hair or crazy bright: Bayley, AJ Lee, Paige, Ronda Rousey, Askua, please stop me before I get into another porn downloading session. Don’t worry I’m still practicing No Fap, Day 117 and counting but it’s hard, it’s stressful, and considering how pissed I’ve been at “people” lately no wonder a girl like Alexa Bliss has caught my eye for the time being; what do they say, blondes have more fun.

Don’t remember the last time that I had fun, being on my back most days which only continues to push me towards the likes of Alexa and I can’t say I usually have a thing for athletic girls, but that’s because I hate most sports and wrestling doesn’t have cheerleaders. Why do I watch some of the Olympics again… though it isn’t cool to think about those Olympians like that with all the scandal only in this day and age it isn’t okay to think of most women like that unless you’re rich, a fellow victim or a convict. Hair color does not make the woman but since high school, I’ve had a type, and I’m starting to think I chose wrong, don’t judge girls by the color of their roots because in the end as the song goes… we’re all the same color when you turn out the lights.

“We’re all the same color when you turn out the lights” Fredro Starr, True Colors

What about words though Dirty Diana, I’m still working on “Apocalypse Rush” (Working Title) and already we’ve had gangbangs, kidnappings, and blood galore, but which do you think will bother people more, words like “cum dumpster,” interracial sex, or redrum? How about the Man In The Mirror, I’m no cover boy, no pin-up, and sadly the content of my novel doesn’t bother me. Instead, it’s the quality and how about the fact I have so many unpublished stories already. I would show you an excerpt, but character names need some alterations, you know inspiration, Angie Griffin, Alexa Bliss, the age-old question of blonde or brunette or redheads “courtwithconfidence” just saying.

I could name more but as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words and truth be told I need around fifteen hundred for my novel today, so this evening hopefully I’ll be facing black and white aplenty and not Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions.

I Will Have No Fear