Tag: Rest

Saga 036 ~ Let’s B In Reality~

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I can’t say much about the Reality Stone in the MCU. If anything, I’d be better suited to talk about Star Wars. And I could go into graphic detail about Whitney Wright in Prom Night. I wonder why? Because real life sucks, but… Let’s B In Reality or not

Saturday, August 6, 2022

Saga 036 ~ Let’s B In Reality~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means reality is what I make it to be. Say it with me, “Republican Tendencies.”

But instead, I was crying about B III this morning, to be honest. I bawl whenever I’m up at 4:00 AM… ok, 4:15 AM. I find two reasons to cry in the morning. My son or the Day Job. One I want to wake up for. The other… do I want to keep existing? Death! Perhaps that’s what King Théoden would cry out. After seeing again these almost 38 years, I have wasted my existence. Braxton’s red hairdryer monster squeaky toy, lying at the foot of the bed. At least I’m not like some “crazy” people, sleeping with my fur baby’s toy cuddled up next to me. Indeed, I’m a lot worse; a confession that’s better left to Inspector Echo or Dirty Diana. What I cozied up to last night.

No wonder I dreamed about reality shows last night? It could have been all the reading I’ve been doing about the WWE women’s tag titles. I don’t want to read rumors. If anything, I don’t want to read about how I have made it this far, Lu. Contestants said quit. I mean, those many competitors told me to get off the stage and give up on it all, Luna. But do you know what saved me, Lady Lunalesca? Porn! Whitney Wright, to be specific. Lady Lunalesca, I can’t help but question why I think of a particular woman on any occasion like last night. But for sure, our dalliance was more like “The Girl Next Door.” That would be too much like my reality (snickers).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeawoHkf9yg

But the real world today consists of a haircut, a visit to PetSmart, and the usual errands for my survival. All for a reality I rather not inhabit. And there is a big fucking reason! Braxton Is Dead; I’ve been telling myself that a lot. Along with what happened on this day in history. Was it on the 7th? Either way, I lost the Basic Bitch, which hurts less than losing my little boy, my B III. The one thing I will claim in this world. Lunalesca, B’s life taken. And as for whatever this is (gestures at myself in bed). If this is reality… I choose to live in fantasies. The Moondust, Sick Fux, WTF! But won’t find Braxton there. Let’s B In Reality.

552 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 029 ~So To B Asleep~

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So the only thing that doesn’t need a rest today is the phone since I finally had the battery replaced. But I’ve been so tired I’ve been off of it unless I got a message, and it’s never what I was really hoping for. Yet I cannot rest. So To B Asleep.

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Saga 029 ~So To B Asleep~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so what would be the first thing I buy? It’d be a soft place to rest.

So to be asleep is one thing. But to rest? Last night I didn’t get a good night’s sleep. Goodnight ha! Every night I still say, “Night, Night Braxton, Sweet Dreams.” Why did I cut on the lamp halfway through the night if he is here? There’s something in the darkness. Or so I thought, as it wasn’t a nightmare. I swear the last thing that flittered in my head; was having black hellfire magic like Jacob. That’s because I wanted to smash the alarm. Succubus Lord dreams… we’ll get to that. I miss having Cerberus; well, B III sigh. I didn’t even reach for my 9MM. Hell! If it was my time to go, it was my time. I’ll sleep when I’m dead, right?

So to be asleep is one thing. But to relax? Again, first and foremost, that falls to B III, yep. But without him, you know what knocks me out? Well, after a while, since I sound more like Todd. Or I could be Jacob again. Recall my favorite scene in Succubus Lord. 10, I think. The one where Jacob has to “fill” all seven of his succubi? Lunalesca, I’m driving myself crazy. How many days has it been since I got off? Over a week if I can keep surviving. Only I want to fall asleep again because I know what would keep me awake. This morning it’s been all about Roxanne Perez. Next to talking to Cherry. And I didn’t even wake up then.

Roxanne Perez

So to be asleep is one thing. But to respond? Triple B never had a problem getting me to wake up. I was all fuck my life when I had him. At least I had a purpose. What is love? But to rescue? Who do I want to save… myself? I wrote a whole damn book. Lady Lunalesca, I will have to prove to myself by tomorrow that I don’t need a doc. Chronic fatigue? But to remember? Life? More like existence. Is there anything other than XXX? I’ve just been diagnosing myself with everything, haven’t I? Depression, Fatigue, OCD, Sex addiction, insanity. I wish I could sound like an adult. But sleep doesn’t fix everything. The ability to rest Lunalesca. So To B Asleep

545 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lesson 156 ~Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire~

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What do we want, you know something, what do I want, at the end of the day that is all that truly matters is what do I want and if that’s another person, well lucky them or not? “Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire,” is it

Monday, December 4, 2017

Lesson 156 ~Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire~

Ninth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, and again I find myself lying for is it our fears that seek us out or we that seek them and in so doing conquer them only to seek out newer ones. If there is one thing that none of us can honestly be it’s satisfied for the moment we are, I believe we seek to be possible?

It’s perhaps this possibility that makes the dead so frightening, the damned, Walkers, zombies whatever you wish to call them because death should be the end, eternal rest. If we want or need nothing then what is it that drives us, I’m not talking the meaning of life or purpose, but all we do is to simulate death somehow only to rise again and begin the process once more. How does one define desire, well I honestly have no wish to look up the possible million definitions but here’s what I find it to be.

A wolf must kill when he is hungry, the wish to end life need not be present but gets done in the name of satisfying the wolf, for hours, a day, who knows but it is done, again and again, the wolf will go unsated until death. The same I will say about a man; personally, I want to eat I must work, hatred of this leads me to grander gestures, hunger for more and so I become more than I am, seeking the apex of life before death. It is only with men however that our appetites grow with the rise of our power, for everything else it is merely a physical transaction perhaps.

Everything else living takes more merely to match its size and strength but no not man, it is how civilization came to be as we know it, an object of a lifetime worth of desire. Desire is one way that I seek to break my fear; I must desire more than the fear itself, a lesson I once read about from Socrates I think, he said, when you want wisdom more than you need air…

When I want violence more than my peace, words more than silence, lust more than fantasy… maybe that’s not an even trade, but then again I am human, and humans want more and as I intend to live for now Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire.

I Will Have No Fear