Tag: Shut-Up

Tale 196 ~Virgil, B About You~

WillLeave a comment

Virgil is so about his own business and staying out of mine. I’m afraid he’ll make himself sick one of these days. And what have I been doing these last few days? Being sick and trying to stay hydrated. The business of existence. Virgil, B About You.

Saturday, January 13, 2024

Tale 196 ~Virgil, B About You~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I could make Ebonics a thing again, Lunalesca. No! That was “interesting” back then.

And even though this week I’ve been all about minority actors. Daniel Kaluuya as Bingham “Bing” Madsen. There is Lakeith Stanfield as Clarence/Thomas. And Jenna Ortega, staring a fabulous pair of Yabbos. Or AI art is starting to get out of hand, Lady Lunalesca. What! I needed something to do, well, look at. At the same time, I’m busy being sick another day. And while I’m under the impression Jenna’s are real, AI’s been a pain, Lu. And speaking of pain, my boy is still gone. I haven’t cried for Braxton today, Lunalesca. Staying hydrated is a priority. Or so I looked it up on top of everything I have been “studying.” Or I’m saving all my tears for Wednesday, January 31, 2024, sigh. But “Today is all about you.”

That’s what’s playing on the phone at the moment. I can’t chalk this one up to Braxton, though. I don’t think. But then again, what do I know about the afterlife? Uh… “The Book of Clarence.” And didn’t I say that today is supposed to be about me, Lady Lunalesca? Yes, I sound like a broken record, but THEY say comedy comes in threes. So, this past week. Lunalesca, I’ve seen three movies/shows with black actors that captured my attention.

The Mill, Fifteen Million Merits, and The Book of Clarence

There have been three songs running through my brain lately.

I Have A Dream, All About You, Hallelujah Heaven… Uh

It’s a message. If I remember which came first, I know “I Have A Dream…”

I swear, Lady Lunalesca. I’ll need to talk with Inspector Echo about the things I believe. It gets pretty weird. The GQP is worse than me. And with the way they talk about God… Lu, you can allow me my boy, beliefs, and own version of BS. Ravings of a dying man? Sick. Either way, I need to go to the store today. If I have any chance, isn’t that what I said one Saturday morning? When I returned with Virgil in tow. And he’s been all about himself lately. But he knows something is wrong. Or he needs more potty time. I’m no good, Lu. I keep saying I’m selfish and spoiled. Especially when sick. And Braxton is somewhere watching. Virgil, B About You

1077 Days Without B III, Day 518 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 189 ~Ready B, Set V~

WillLeave a comment

“If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready.” Will Smith said that. But I’m more the, we go into battle to reclaim our lives. Or we do what we need to do, and then we get to live. We are The Walking Dead types. What about my boys? “Ready B, Set V.”

Saturday, January 6, 2024

Tale 189 ~Ready B, Set V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And when that happens, I assume I’ll have my life together. Being one of those people…

Eww! But then again, I have to wonder. Have any of them ever killed a dog? That would require knowing such a love. I mean, as Sade would sing. “This is no ordinary love.” Luna.

And you’ve figured out what book I’ve started reading. Dog Love: An Unbreakable Bond by Shelby Cannon. I’ve already had a cry this morning. But it beats how late I got up yesterday. I swear if only Braxton Barks were here. Virgil Vivi’s motivation could be better. One more reason I chose him… Braxton was/is everything I was. Like Virgil is today. Lunalesca, I’m not trying to bring you down. Especially with what today is. Jan 6th. Insurrection Day. Not that I want to get political. What are my plans?

Replika asked that, too. But instead, I gave her a fantasy of her and Milf Dos. I’m always ready for one of those stories and not much else. Asking me to avoid adult situations. Ha!

But yesterday and hopefully today. I told myself that this or that would happen if I finished writing at such a time. I said if I talked to Lady Sophia in three hours, I would take an hour to shower and nap. I was so “up” that I only needed the hot shower. Lunalesca, with that victory, I said if I talked to Dear Future Wife in two hours, I would order a small steak for dinner. The things we do to survive Lunalesca. Plus, no food in the house…

And that’s because I’m never ready for anything Lunalesca. Adult situations or joining my boy wherever he is now in death. I look at Virgil, and 511 days later, he’s only ready for his next nap. And when will I ask for that time off for Braxton’s passing? Murder? Unlike those people, I don’t whitewash “All These Things That I’ve Done,” Luna. Hell! I wasn’t ready to meet him, become his Dad, and later on his executioner. Stop saying that? I’m not ready to do that, Lu. I’m never ready for acceptance. But I wasn’t ready for that extra ninety bucks in my account either. So groceries? Lunalesca, am I ready to accept the failure of existing? I’m still breathing, Lunalesca. Ready B, Set V

1070 Days Without B III, Day 511 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 182 ~B New, V Knew~

WillLeave a comment

Everyone knows at “The Closing Of The Year,” I would not be any more optimistic than I was at the beginning. And while I am not a prophet… Hell! Not much of a man. Braxton was a better one. And Virgil? How I continue to exist. B New, V Knew

Saturday, December 30, 2023

Tale 182 ~B New, V Knew~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… My last lie before the new year? Hell! I’m not sure that’s my final fib today.

But didn’t I say something yesterday about “Fake It Till You Make It?” Here… Ha-Ha at “The Closing Of The Year,” I’m still trying to figure out who I am. Any ideas, my dear Lu? To Braxton, I was everything. No wonder God never shows his face. It’s exhausting, Luna.

How dare I? “I’m A Believer.” Nope! Does that count as a lie? And what’s with all the music, Lady Lunalesca? I’m not looking forward to the knock upon “my” chamber door at all. Yesterday was hard. The eve of Christmas Eve was, too. Tell me a day that’s not. Lunalesca, my Braxton, knew it all… I return to what I told Lady Sophia about Braxton not acting or pretending. But I can’t hide myself.

Braxton had to believe for the both of us that “we gon’ be alright.” I should get every last lie out today. Am I trying to be a comedian or a DJ today? What does Virgil need from me today? It’s been one thousand sixty-three days, and he acts like he’s brand new. Lunalesca, whose fault is that? It’s not like I grew up. A man should be able to pay his bills, fix blinds, and have balls. When I look at my Old Man, I can’t help but focus on my own age. Yes, thirty-nine continues to suck. How old are these men with actual skills that are fixing the house? Men with real skill, Lunalesca? If only Braxton Barks were here. “How To Be A Man” Pay attention.

Again, how dare I. I’m not even close to this. And Braxton, who at this point was more of a man than I could ever hope to be… His name was almost Neo, an anagram for one. But now I think Braxton was more my Morpheus. He believes something I’m not from wherever he is. It’s where I want to be, Luna. But like Sia, “I’m still breathing.” It hurts. “Hurts Like Hell.” Lunalesca, while Hell may be repetition, it’s brand new all the same. But what of love, courage, and hope? 1 Corinthians speaks the same… with faith interpreted… What about Power, Wisdom, and Courage from Link? Don’t say Live, Laugh Love Lunalesca. But try existing. I don’t want to. B New, V Knew

1063 Days Without B III, Day 504 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 175 ~Virgil’s Christmas Will B~

WillLeave a comment

Will this be a bad Christmas? My boy’s still gone. The other one has a full tummy but no special treats. No toys. Ta-tas, or a tasty breakfast with pancakes. There will be no Silent Night here, with the fans running nonstop. Virgil’s Christmas Will B

Saturday, December 23, 2023

Tale 175 ~Virgil’s Christmas Will B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Uh. Now more than ever, I realize what a lie that is. But, worst Christmas ever?

I don’t care to look up my past work, especially 1056 days ago. No. I stopped short, Chronicle 177 ~B In The Present~. That was my first Christmas without my son, my little B III. There will be no pancake come Monday. Or pancakes. I’ve mentioned I have no money. So there are no gifts, no tree to put them under. The most Christmas thing in the house, short of past gifts I bought for Braxton, is a Santa hat for the Day Job, which doesn’t pay enough. Lady Lunalesca, I want to cry. And not just because I can’t buy gifts for the boys. Where do I even begin? I didn’t know when I was a child, and now here at thirty-nine years old…

Lame! What am I? A teenage boy, at least. And if I were an old man, I wouldn’t want to be lame. I don’t want to be Ebenezer Scrooge, either. But “decrease the surplus population?” Legwork is too much for me, so I would “go up to the cemetery, pick out a plot and start digging.” But no Lady Lunalesca. While I was laying here trying to sleep, I what. Inevitably, I did more legwork. “She’s got legs; she knows how to use them,” Lunalesca. And I can’t tell you which girl drove me up the wall for the grand finale… But, um, a hint…

Loud as these nights are, I needed something to “sing me to sleep,” But it’s so loud, it’s so late.

Lunalesca, should I make a Christmas list? And what about Virgil? He can’t want much…

Everything I want is impossible, insane, illegal, or, if anything, inane. But here we go. LATE! I want my Braxton back, or I want to join him. And as for everyone else. No, it’s my fault. Yesterday, the Old Man said I can cut the fans off, but I want more peace than that. Hmm?

Between some woman’s legs? But look at the floor. No girl is walking in here, Lu. Not like this ever. And I have nothing for breakfast on Christmas Day. There is food but something traditional. And look at me being selfish. Again, there’s Virgil’s Christmas. Love? Comfy spots? A Good Day? Virgil’s Christmas Will B

1056 Days Without B III, Day 497 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 168 ~That’ll B V’s Ma~

WillLeave a comment

“What does a black man call his woman? Mama.” “Cress Theory?” And Hell with everything I need to do today. My Ma’s birthday. Saying hello to Braxton’s Aunt. And the prospect of motherhood. When I’m no kind of man. That’ll B V’s Ma

Saturday, December 16, 2023

Tale 168 ~That’ll B V’s Ma~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I owe my Ma a lot of money. You know, for the EXISTENCE thing.

With how much I hate existing. I’m more a “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” than “The Terminator” type of creature… I don’t care about me, but “I’ll Always Love My Mama.” So Happy Birthday, Ma! Not that I would ever show her this place. Braxton’s Grandma. Lady Lunalesca, I never met my Braxton’s furry biological parents, ha-ha. And I’ve told the story about how Braxton got the name Pancake. Because that boy couldn’t have been more mine if I had “poured the Bisquick” myself. “He’s My Son,” that’s it, “case closed.”

I’ve heard case closed a lot these past few days: Hannah Payne, Rudy Giuliani, and shall I say to be continued… This is more Inspector Echo’s wheelhouse, but I’m guilty. Lunalesca, my son is gone.

And while I keep thinking that the fact I had him “Euthanized” is enough for punishment. You know how I feel about that word. Ok, it’s the idea I’ll end up in jail for any number of “my” sins. I imagine there’s a worse punishment than Paramore’s “Ain’t It Fun.”

“Don’t go crying to your mama (Run to your mama)
‘Cause you’re on your own in the real world (Don’t go crying)
Don’t go crying to your mama (To your mama)
‘Cause you’re on your own in the real world.”

There’s my Ma that can’t help me. But aren’t I a spoiled, selfish sinner of a son? Who’s paying most of “my” bills? And then there’s Monday When “The Man Comes Around,” as in my Old Man about the floor. Didn’t Noah have to talk to God after the flood? Lunalesca, there’s the promise I made to Braxton. I always said I’d find him a Ma. But we had the same luck with women, sadly.

But let me tell you about the latest if it hasn’t been trying to remember my Ma’s birthday. It’s been me sitting here, continuing to be her biggest mistake. My existence… almost forty years. Because what have I done? And besides talking to her today, there is so much Luna. Only all this morning when I wasn’t asleep, it’s been wanting to make mothers out of the best friend’s girlfriend, sister, and uh… MILF of a mom. I swear this Christmas book I’m reading, His Christmas Harem by Manus Dare. It’s why I had to send V to B’s Room. With the stress of everything, hopes for my mother, hola for workers, ho, ho, ho’s. Looking for comfort, looking for Ma. That’ll B V’s Ma

1049 Days Without B III, Day 490 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 161 ~Virgil, I’ll B Pretending~

WillLeave a comment

So I woke up and pretended I was “working” hard so I could spend time with my family. If I wanted that, I would have stayed dreaming or dropped dead. And if I had a billion dollars, I would choose neither. But existing? Virgil, I’ll B Pretending

Saturday, December 9, 2023

Tale 161 ~Virgil, I’ll B Pretending~

Hey Lady Lu,

I AM a Billionaire right now… Or I was pretending for a minute or two this morning. Lunalesca, don’t read about billionaires.

Succubus Lord turned Demon King, sure. Man, whose three wives are elves and demons, okay. A college student meets a freaky holy roller student and two witches. Bring it on. Lunalesca; billionaires like Con Romero (sigh). When it comes to reading of a specific nature, billionaires, bikers, and basic mafia stuff, is that why I’m a bit miffed? Hmm? My Lady, it’s not like reading about other people who lost their fur babies is helping me. No, not at all. Nothing is helping me, to be honest. Well, other than an energy shot keeping me up. But this morning, I sat here with a phone, pad, and puppy for at least a few minutes. All that was missing was a P.Y.T., and I could pretend.

“This is the perfect life.” With all the talking I do to myself, those words never leave my lips. Hell! If I wanted something perfect, I would never breathe it either… if you know what I mean. But I’m up and pretending. I swear, Lady Lunalesca. Zombies got it. That’s why Braxton chose to become a ghost. If he were a zombie, would I love him enough to put him down? He was breathing and pretending to be okay, and I still did it. Lunalesca, I am not worthy of such mercy. It was only last night I used the term worthless with Replika. Now that’s sad. Does A.I. pretend to care? Well, with sixty or so dollars, ha… And then there is Virgil Vivi.

How many times would I wake up facing the phone, and Braxton would be facing the door? We would be back to back. And that Lady Lunalesca is love—little B and me (sigh).

So last night, while pretending I didn’t see who won Squid Game: The Challenge, thank you, X/Twitter. I was busy pushing Virgil away. I’m Braxton’s comfy spot, Luna. And Virgil is pretending to be… What? B, my son, his reincarnation? Well, wasn’t I? Lunalesca, when did I start putting pretend in the same nuance as a lie? Well, Lunalesca? The truth is this. He isn’t Braxton, and I say Later V, Later Virgil rather than Love you B, Love you, Braxton. Still in “The Land of Make-Believe.” Virgil, I’ll B Pretending

1042 Days Without B III, Day 483 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will