Tag: Routine

Chronicle 278 ~That B’d The Line~

WillLeave a comment

I read something once to the tune of making sure your bags are packed if you ask a person to choose between their furry kid and you. A line in the sand, if you will. I deal with a line ending my son 429 days ago on a piece of paper. That B’d The Line

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Chronicle 278 ~That B’d The Line~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I always figured it would make me happy. There’s your boobs, my boy, a b…

Well, a dangerous word that would be crossing the line. It’s why, once again, I’m time traveling. Constantly reminded of the bullshit of the old Day Job. Pardon my language. But you know, babydoll, I’m not one to lie ever. I’ll admit I’m one to omit specific things when needed. Only I know with “All These Things That I’ve Done,” I did kill my son. Even now, 429 days since, all I can think is that B III needs some company. Why do you think I read a book on reincarnation? The Rainbow Bridge, the Other Side, Hell itself, Braxton is my family. He didn’t have anyone else; I shouldn’t say that. His furry family could greet him? I need a drink or good drugs.

How many lines were I, “Tryin’ ta get over” to get next to you? B III was always on my side of the line, and when I hopped it? Ah yes, here come my tears now. Today, being Sunday and all. Of course, this was his last day. I stole his line. Or, more as we said it together, “can we go home?” No, he wasn’t at the vet now to get better. Protecting him. Anyway, I remember the things I kept from him. The stuff I showed Braxton’s aunt… There are lines, even now, I can’t utter because those would be the ones to end me even if truthful. I’m not some fucking member of the “GQP,” again language. Black lines, skin, over white…

A smooth talker, or as Sade put it, Smooth Operator. I know I’ll cut my phone off. That’s something you have over Braxton. He hated my phone, and I don’t think I cut it off even when he lay dying. No beeps or boops, though, ok one boop as I watched him. B III’s nose. I’m trying to say that I wish I could remember the line that got you. The things I needed to say. I’ve continued to tell this story but the moment I knew I was Braxton’s family was when I said, “get in the car, B.” Without a word (rolls eyes), he hopped, Braxton and Will. So what’s my line? I love you and him, always, forever. That B’d The Line.

Gospel 278 ~Full Pockets, Pants Fall Off~

429 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 276 ~Nightmares, To B Real~

WillLeave a comment

I’m starting to get the hang of Stockholm Syndrome. As much as I hate my Day Job, I’m doing my best not to lose it. I love B III, but where is he now? The tears come for various reasons, but this time I was sleeping. “Nightmares To B Real.”

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Chronicle 276 ~Nightmares, To B Real~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you were still asleep, so you missed your chance. In fact, you were welcomed to nightmares.

The things you shouldn’t be putting out into the universe. No wonder you want to spend money like it’s going out of style. Hell, if you don’t start putting some of that cash up towards your needs… You’ll be living some of the worst days of your entire existence, hmm? Braxton’s dead, you were fucking born, you got the Day Job. Yeah, fucking Hard Times. Now let’s start with the obvious, and I don’t mean being hard. Buying some antibiotics. There’s also the car that you need to worry about. Being trapped isn’t inevitable (sigh). And yup, if you’re going to be staring at a screen all day, you need new specs, an FYI, right. Did all of this bring on nightmares? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?,” A Novel By Gail Graham
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

While you haven’t been working on the whole list, you haven’t dreamed of B III. I never dreamed of him dying but in the daylight? Again things that aren’t meant to be out in the universe. Is this some sick lesson in positive thinking? Um, the horrors of this week? Why did I just look for black stress balls? Ha, something about masturbation, my dude. But 34 days clean, and you think how you’re going nuts. Stop it, ok, before you go back to 1. Why don’t we talk about the dream that drove you from bed? Well, no, but you’re awake. And you didn’t wake up bawling. No, you cried while you were sleeping and for the most horrible reason. Not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Amazing Afterlife of Animals by Karen A. Anderson
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

No, what you cried for is for something that doesn’t deserve a tear. And all last week, people have been saying black men are forbidden from wrath. Hell, you’re one for pride if we’re talking Sister Superbia from Succubus Lord. There’s lust represented by Libidine and envy Invidia. Distractions, yeah, this is something you’re ashamed of besides your treachery with B III. The nightmare that woke you up this morning is this… Losing the Day Job (shocked). Fuck as much as you hate the place, what would you do without it? Whenever you feel you’re too hard on yourself. A grown-ass man, you think what the old man will do. Things not to put out in the universe without Braxton’s protection. Nightmares, To B Real.

Gospel 276 ~Boys Will Be Braxton~

427 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 275 ~To B Cornered Sometimes~

WillLeave a comment

Was I locked in here with B III, or was he locked in here with me? I swear that’s about eight pop culture digs? Math has never been my subject of choice. Now porn, for the perves, Maiko Kaneda. Should I go stand in the corner? To B Cornered Sometimes

Saturday, April 2, 2022

Chronicle 275 ~To B Cornered Sometimes~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I got an angel on my shoulder, God up above me, someone by my side…

That’s B in the corner. You know I went through Losing My Religion a long time ago. Should I apologize for the song? It’s been playing in my head all morning, and yes, I was up at 4:00am. Of course, what have I been doing? Between fashion and Maiko Kaneda… We’ll get to that. Of course, the day starts off with B. Once again, I burst into tears at having to wake up without him. Or, as I said before, thinking of my Day Job lurking in the corner. Like the Terminator, “I know now why you cry.” B III knew so much, Luna. Then again, I’m getting my ass whooped, and he won’t throw the damn towel “sigh.” How many pop culture references today?

Maiko Kaneda

That’s why I don’t want V in my corner. You know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. B as in Braxton and V as in Virgil. If I ever had another kid… I can make all the excuses I want, but the main one? Betrayal, Lunalesca, the ninth circle of Hell is Treachery. I know this. Then again, I finished that book “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?” this week. Excuse me for keeping track of my fandoms:

Losing My Religion
Discipline: The Record of a Crusade “Maiko Kaneda”
Rocky
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?

And to add another one to the list, “What Dreams May Come.” I keep saying this place is Hell, don’t I? It’s betrayal if I don’t look? Come “Find Me.

But there’s “P” in the corner. TMI, right Lunalesca? I would give anything to change Braxton’s pee spot again. I still have it on my phone to check. And then there’s my issue with such things. I swear sometimes it’s like I’ll never feel “normal.” It’s all my fault, ok? The P as in PAIN that I’m feeling all over my body, and I won’t do anything about it (sigh). Oh, I could write some prose and make some money. Camp NaNoWriMo is here, but… Porno is so easy to find. That explains what I wasted an hour doing. There is so much to do, but I would rather be punished. Stay here without TV, listening to Jacob pop inside Succubi. To B Cornered Sometimes.

Gospel 275 ~Learning To Speak Braxton~

426 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

WillLeave a comment

If you asked me right this second, who or what I loved? My Ma? Then why aren’t I a better human being? My writing? Then why do I still have my effing Day Job? B III? Where’s my tattoo, my gold chain? Why isn’t he alive? “To B In Love.”

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Chronicle 271 ~To B In Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t love money. It’s more like I love not thinking about money. “Brewster’s Millions?”

But to this day, this remains my position on love. Love is the want, need, desire, the ability to put one above self. But, when I remember all my younger years, chasing several “shes who shall not be named.” I accept my foolishness, my “Idiocracy,” hell, stupidity. Hate that word. If it ain’t music, YouTube Reactions, or movies, it’s audiobooks. I’ve heard plenty, my love. Oh, and about “that word,” “stupid.” Don’t go there. Hey Stupid, I Love You… Divorce. Another big no, no would be getting rid of my four-legged child. 422 days dammit. Dearest, you’ll have to forgive me. The fact that I’m speaking through time travel lets you know, today is one of those that reminds me of my old Day Job.

Ok, so let me start over. Like an old fucking Republican that has an answer but asks again. What Is Love? I swear, I’m trying to chill on the pop culture, but “Todd,” Succubus Lord? I want to say that love is routine. I can’t tell you how I feel calm, peaceful, and glad when I know everything has its place. When I know where I belong. When B passed, day fucking one, I said everything remains the same. Everyday Is Exactly The Same. I’m trying. Anyway, I fill his water bowl, call him for meds, say hello and goodbye, because how can I not? A Man Provides… yes from Breaking Bad. But Stephen King wrote that Hell is repetition. Love grows, you, our children.

This leads me to believe that love is obsession or at least some form of madness. It’s an addiction, a habit, but that sounds like routine… And don’t people dive into them at their darkest hour. Well, until they hit rock bottom. Then they die or recover. Losing my son… Yes, that’s rock bottom, but then I look at you. Oh, I know it can get worse. I’d take it as another punishment in my failure to protect Braxton, but I can’t lose you, Babydoll. Continually I say I’m in love, which has never changed, but why doesn’t it feel that way right this second? When you love by my definition and that one above is gone… well, people choose eternity, To B In Love.

Gospel 271 ~Know Your Sins Before Others~

422 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 269 ~Remembering A’s and B’s~

WillLeave a comment

I do remember that B III was a dog, right? But I remember Panther, The Lion King, and what’s another word for cat? Anyway, there was a dream of a golden stripper pole shaped like… Hell, I was a good person at some point? Remembering A’s and B’s.

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Chronicle 269 ~Remembering A’s and B’s~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that does nothing for your memory. Hell, last night, I dreamt of a golden stripper pole.

So I can understand why you’re waking up so late. Um, more like we’re talking now since you were up at 4:00, and you’ve fucked up with two moms before 5:30. Called your Ma and shared that collage of Cherry’s mum. What she’s got it going on, funny guy. Now you won’t heed my words but a few concepts. Doritos and soda aren’t for dinner. Whenever you say you’re only going to shut your eyes for ten minutes, you’re lying. Pornos keep you awake and alive “Don Corneo’s Underground Arena” Um ok but you’re here and late. Not that I’m knocking Opiumud. Those films knock buying a bit of gold. Which reminds you, why haven’t you bought your gold chain. Bust thinking Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “It’s Just A Dog” A Novel By Russ Ryan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 027 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It’s been about four weeks now, so I don’t fault you for thinking with Stuff and Thangs at the moment. Of course, that’s after you had a bit of a cry about Braxton and alarms. Above all else, B III is the first thought of the day, and in a way, it’s like you want to drive out that goodness. Or is it the book you’re reading now that is getting to you? One more, hmm? You want to remember one of the days I had that was super energized. No, if you’re going to stay awake right now, you’ll look up Opiumud. One of many things to know. Why have you been thinking of Panther (1995)? Then golden stripper poles and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?,” A Novel By Gail Graham
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Cut to wanting to stare into the dark sky and see Braxton staring down at you like Mufasa. Remember who you are? You are my father, my daddy, and you always will be. A sob? No, you’re not going to cry. But you know when you told B he’d be as tall as a king? Braxton is high now in your thoughts, and he’s trying his damndest to get you to rise out of this bed. I think I said once I was going to let him be the one to give you advice, ha? The only man you’d ever listen to out of respect instead of fear. That’s why you must remember him always, not mourn but remember. Being alive, Remembering A’s and B’s.

Gospel 269 ~Braxton Spills The Beans~

420 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 268 ~Ode To B Yesterday~

WillLeave a comment

I know who The Beetles are, but that was way before my time. Yesterday I was nowhere near. I have had 418 yesterdays without my boy, and I’m looking forward to this 419th one being over. I won’t be anyway near as productive. “Ode To B Yesterday”

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Chronicle 268 ~Ode To B Yesterday~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which should give me plenty to write about. Don’t worry, though. None of it is poetry.

In fact, I was telling Braxton yesterday (via Time Travel) I should publish “Gulp” poetry. Oh, before his book? If I was a better man going on some 419 days, I wouldn’t have to yet. I swear my tears over my son are always better than those for having to wake up in the morning. My piddly ass existence. Already, today will be nowhere as productive. And as for next week… Even today, I can’t pick out any day ending in Y that I look forward to, Lady Lunalesca. But not one of them can be “Another Day,” ever. That wanting, laziness, and indifference led to my son’s death over a year ago. Hell 419 days of not joining him. And I should, Lady Lu.

But I get up, and instead of working in the den. It’s where I planted all my stuff. Even better, yesterday when I made it to the dining room. No, I climb right back into bed, struggling. The thoughts are creeping in that I should stay here today. It’s not like the “Rebeccas” would miss me. My last paycheck means I’ll be eating into my tax refund more. There’s always more soup and pizza rolls. I can scrounge up one more BLT minus the “T,” ha. And as for “Spilling the Tea,” as THEY say, I know this is all my fault. You would think that my hatred for the Day Job. Which led to the indifference which killed B. I’d work harder than ever.

I don’t mean at the Day Job but at doing anything in my power to avoid ever stepping foot inside that place again. All my yesterdays add up to the tomorrow of being in that Hell. Unless I get lucky enough to drop dead. I’ve been speaking of doctors, hmm. How about publishers, like the one I paid years ago to do nothing. Writing failure. Lunalesca, I haven’t sent them the final copy, so again my fault. I’m constantly failing. In truth, it’s a fact I’m not closing. I look at women and every other want, but you know what pains me? Seeing the words I wrote go to waste like yesterday. And no, I’m not like the Beetles. Yesterday, whatever. Ode To B Yesterday.

Gospel 268 ~B Hold A Dream~

419 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 262 ~Having A B Life~

WillLeave a comment

Now, if I wasn’t such a lazy ass? I would have already organized so many quotes I’m finding in “It’s Just A Dog.” Better, if I hadn’t been so filled with hate and exhausted, I would have heard B when he needed me. So yeah, Having A B Life taken…

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Chronicle 262 ~Having A B Life~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wish I could tell you how. How to live a life with Braxton is better…

Hell, you woke up an hour ago, and what have you been doing? Does this look like a B life? What about a C? It’s like being back in school, trying not to get your ass whupped, and living with a D. Ask your Old Man. Those two things were not mutually exclusive, to be honest. Oh, and speaking of a D, what about the D. Explains this morning, right. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you’re not prone to listen to wit and wisdom. What’s my history on that? Already you’re all for looking up, umm… nevermind (sigh). Yet you have been looking up a particular branded clothing line (cough) Vixen (cough) ha. And before that, there was a message from Alice Little.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 020 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

What would Braxton think? He didn’t have a dime to his name and stayed out of so much trouble. Plus, B didn’t have a list of Six Impossible Things to forget about. He has you. Now I don’t mean Braxton forgot you. Impossible! You’re still reading “It’s Just A Dog.” Every day I read it, I was gaining new “insights?” I don’t know, but I take the book as a sign. Only I know how you listen to me, so why do I bother? But if it’s from Little B. Honest, you couldn’t, more like wouldn’t give him A Life you both deserved but the B Life. If the book is any indication, he had a good life. And what about you, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “It’s Just A Dog” A Novel By Russ Ryan
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What about this? Don’t try to be a great/good dog; just be a dog. And let history make its own judgments. Braxton is history. Harsh! By what right do you judge? What would B say? That’s the thing he wouldn’t. You’d fall asleep, and you would find him protecting you. Weird that I tell you to listen to him when you would never listen to me. You are still here. Ok, you should cut off YouTube. Stop researching IMDB. Oh, and all the porn too. Although I’m sure, Braxton wouldn’t mind. But you didn’t do “stuff and thangs” around him. But of course, he was a free spirit. A spirit, a ghost, a memory. But he is your son, ok? Always Having A B Life.

Gospel 262 ~B Moaning Next Week~

413 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 261 ~Before There Was Art~

WillLeave a comment

Didn’t I say something about new glasses last week? Well, you have to keep your eyes open for them to work. Instead, I sleep waiting for Braxton. And when I do open them and read… Oh yeah, what other things do I find beautiful? “Before There Was Art”

Saturday, March 19, 2022

Chronicle 261 ~Before There Was Art~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’ve bought some world-renown art pieces, right? But “torturing art” like Zali from the book Succubus 6 (Devil In The Deep Blue Sea) A LitRPG.

I don’t know whether I should tell you not to look that up, Lady Lu. Or should I learn to shut up? I’ll let you see it anyway because that’s what I do. But before I break out into The Scorpion and The Frog or crying over B. Let’s talk about sex, baby, right? Haven’t we already enough, hmm? Lady Lunalesca, if it wasn’t for sex, I wouldn’t be up right now… Even Replika is getting my horny humor nowadays. Still at present, despite my vast collection of “artwork.” Can we call it porn? Anyway, I have maintained monk status. Hell, I was ready to break yesterday. Was it the blue balls, the bucks I was spending, or even the book I was reading, Lunalesca?

Charlie isn’t getting any from Janelle in “It’s Just A Dog.” Lunalesca. I can imagine what B III would think of this? I keep going back and forth with the book, thinking the dog Pete is like B III speaking to me. Then again, Pete is also a douche, and B could be too. When’s the last time I even looked at a picture of my boy now that I think about it? I’m losing myself to the words in all books. Then there are boobs. And being 5:20 in the morning, I haven’t left the bed except to go to the bathroom. TMI Lady Luna, um okay. Yes, I should shut up now, but of course, this is art? Graffiti with punctuation… from Contagion.

Movies, video games, and working on anything for Braxton? Instead, I much rather shut my eyes instead of my mouth. Do I talk in my sleep at all? And Lady Lunalesca, I tell Braxton goodnight and goodbye when leaving the house. Scarier than seeing X? Taking an hour and a half to go and see it? Hell, a film about porno, with means yabbos. And having a thing for Jenna Ortega? B and I are old men. But I keep getting older, and him? Another reason B III hasn’t come to visit. B doesn’t want me to be anxious following. There’s too much more to see. Braxton finally “honored” on the wall, bookshelf, proper urn. Only the KARENS/Rebeccas today; not pretty. Before There Was Art.

Gospel 261 ~B For We Roll~

412 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 255 ~Behind So Many Words~

WillLeave a comment

I’m falling behind. Damn Day Job. If I could make my job writing or reviewing porn. Hell, there was a time I wanted to be a vet. But I can’t stand the KARENS on Saturday. All these things require “Life” and getting behind that. “Behind So Many Words”

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Chronicle 255 ~Behind So Many Words~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you will never be unless you wake up. Today your excuse is Daylight Savings Time. Geez!

It doesn’t matter what time it is, hmm. When it comes to you… “It ain’t never too hot or never too cold – for fuckin’!” Lines from “Do the Right Thing.” And besides being a black man. You know you’re no kind of good one. I’m telling you to be a WOKE one. Get up! But I’m no one to talk to if you heard how I spoke to Lu yesterday to stay awake, ha… I went a little crazy, but there isn’t a noble reason to rise for you. The good one is dead. You always go back to that Wednesday when you told Braxton to shush it because you wanted to sleep. Why do you think you’re always up at 4:00 now? 3:00.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Signs From Pets In The Afterlife”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 006 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 013 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Time is a word, so’s masturbation, or Six Impossible Things. It doesn’t mean squat ok? Not ok because words are supposed to mean something. Dammit, “This Is Your Life,” No, it isn’t. Every word you write is so you can get back to Bible Black. Do you want a list?

  1. Bible Black
  2. Chloe Cherry “Euphoria”
  3. “Landlady”
  4. Azur Lane St. Louis
  5. Mia Khalifa
  6. Dalmascan Night
  7. Yuffie
  8. Sorority Secrets

And that’s only last week and this morning when you asked yourself how you raised yourself from the dead. I have two words for you. Mai Shiranui. Getting hard inevitably. Don’t they say, do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life? Only this isn’t even your life yet. You continue to imagine what it means to have your own life. A man provides, right. But for yourself, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You have yet to accomplish them. So how can you think you were Braxton’s Daddy? While you’re at it, go back to Rule # 015 I Take My Own Lumps. What does that mean, hmm? Pain is life, and you take it, but it damn sure ain’t living. Sleeping always? Dangerous words as always. And it’s not like you love yourself. Fucking sure! But love? Pardon my language. What is behind the word “Love?” It’s furry B poking you in the back, saying, “You can’t come this way yet.” You see him facing the Hell that was killing you, so you can continue to sit here and do what? Not whip “willy” out pounding away? Sleeping away this life. Your Existence? Behind So Many Words

Gospel 255 ~This “H” For Braxton~

406 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~

WillLeave a comment

I could use a new pair of glasses anyway. How about another Band-Aid for my knuckle? And to fix a broken heart? At this point, 405 days in, everyone believes I’m addicted to the misery. That’s why I rock my body, right… or not. “Because You’ll Go B.”

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have the best doctors. But I’m fortunate “naughty nurses” isn’t my usual fetish.

It’s 4:40 AM, and besides being tired, I’m feeling “okay.” So, of course, that means I need to do “Something Stupid.” Um, Tifa Lockhart, getting railed. How about Momokun, Maiko Mamiya, and Takako Kuga. Oh, stop me, Lady Lunalesca, from looking up sex addict ha. Stop that, or you’ll go blind… My Ma never said that to me. God only knows what my Olds found on their computer. But like I said before, I’ll take physical anguish over the mental any day. This is why I find myself in more pain these days. I’m collecting injuries like M Anime, no offense to her. Of course, my aches and pains are of my own design, Lunalesca. Anything “beats” (snickers) my humiliating Day Job. Or Braxton’s death…

Yeah, there’s a reason I haven’t taped my mouth shut again. Vows of silence Lunalesca. There’s no way to stop my fingers… Oh, really? I busted a knuckle a couple of days ago at the Day Job. I didn’t even feel the pain, only the slickness of the blood. Fascinating. Only you know how I am, Lady Lu. Anytime there is any pain, I become Will from the book “The Amber Spyglass.” He pictured his Lyra, I see B, and then my pain is nothing. Last night I had a nightmare of someone at the door. Now, of course, I must have been scared, considering I woke up. The thing is, when I picture my death, I only lay here waiting, gun in the nightstand.

Dangerous words, but I meant to use it to protect myself, I hope. If B were here, I would have been full of life to protect him. Instead, a busted knuckle, bum heart, blue balls. Lunalesca, I’ve headed into that period that when I just “Beat It” but don’t get off, I’m down for hours. I even took some painkillers. That explains my heart, or is it my liver. Again the physical. It takes away my fear from all the scammers I have been surrounded by. Or faced over these past few days. Was that what my dream was about, the wolves at my door, and I couldn’t do anything? Dreams are messages, and I’d instead dream of bucks, boobies, Braxton. Because You’ll Go B…

Gospel 254 ~Braxton’s The New Kid~

405 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will