Tag: Sins

Saga 120 ~B Keeping Secrets Virgil~

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“‘Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead,” like the song. What secrets did I tell? I’m mad as Hell; my body is on fire, and the sunlight burns. V wouldn’t understand, and what isn’t he saying. This is “me” time. B Keeping Secrets Virgil.

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Saga 120 ~B Keeping Secrets Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now; yes, and no. Pretend TWD’s on, I don’t want to get fired, I’m looking for porn.

That is to say; I don’t want to talk about B III this Saturday. What can I say about 2V? Dearest Lady Lunalesca, I was in tears last night as I called for Braxton to take his pills as always. Never stopped me from talking about him before. But with all the writing to do. There’s a book I need to read. And as far as going out? I need food and, um, Friday, Lu? Isn’t this what killed Braxton in the first place? No, I did. And the whole damn world, this existence, were my accomplices. Lady Lunalesca, already I can’t stop thinking about my boy. I promised I never would, after all my indifference. Oh, add that, getting back from the Day Job.

Anyway, my point is, let’s not talk about the fur babies Lunalesca. Braxton knows better. So what do I want to talk about? So like that scientist in 28 Days Later. It’s all about RAGE. I’m trying not to say his name, but I remember after. I was dead, well, no. But I wished I was. And I do now. I’ve said before that when I go to bed, I go over Far Cry 5. Lunalesca, I know I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I shouldn’t. If It wasn’t for… AHEM! Hell! I should have done “it” before. When I was all alone, Lady Lunalesca. But I hate myself so much I keep existing. And as for everyone else… FUCK ME! (Sigh)

Or rather, how the song goes, “Let’s Talk About Sex.” Now ain’t that something that’s always on my mind? Even yesterday, with NaNoWriMo coming up, I was thinking about a prequel to the Cherry series I’ve done. Not like I’ve read through the other novels. Lunalesca, I keep saying I’m way too busy; which is a good thing? It keeps me from being a monster, as I told one of the girls yesterday. A zombie, a vampire, the infected. Nothing is taking the edge off when it comes to my pornographic passion Lady Lunalesca. If I told you everything, oh Lu… What! Do I still want to get into the Second Circle of Hell? Secrets. Betraying Braxton? Treachery, The Ninth Circle. B Keeping Secrets Virgil

636 Days Without B III, Day 077 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 117 ~Boys Will, B, V~

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I’ve never liked the saying, “boys will be boys.” B III is/was too much like me. And 2V, well, he hasn’t been here three months yet. The only women he knew were the ones I adopted him from and any “friends” in his cage. Boys Will, B, V

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Saga 117 ~Boys Will, B, V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so what if SHE’S A Gold Digger? Yeah, fuck Kanye West, “Ye,” whoever he is today.

Speaking of which, Inspector, today is Sunday, October 16, 2022. I have been time-traveling all day. But I can’t go back to the past, or can I… Braxton’s veterinarians? Inspector, for the record. I seem to have more luck with women doctors. Myself, Braxton. Anyway, I expect Virgil to have seen a doc by the time you read this. But we’ll get there. And I do mean we’ll get there. Because I haven’t been to Banfield since I received Braxton’s remains. For the third time today, I’ll call myself a selfish bastard. My boy cannot even claim his death; it was my failure and my disgrace. And to go back to that humiliation… The feeling of carrying my boy, that bag, my beloved son’s box

Virgil is not that. Not even close. But I remember when that guy doctor thought I was the worst thing. And now I have to carry V back there on his birthday. I hope. A checkup? He needs his nails clipped in the worst possible way. Braxton didn’t do well there. Understatement of the century. What I mean is he didn’t like people. What about Virgil? I guess I’ll have to see. B didn’t even like his aunt but, then again, like father, like son. He loves a pair of Yabbos. Seeing as how V doesn’t have his balls? I should read up about that. But I picked up a book on reincarnation. By now, who knows what I’m reading? I don’t need free time…

Yes, I’m still afraid that things may have happened at the Day Job. It would be last week. If anything, talking to you is an act of faith right now. Faith in and woman, Inspector? It’s my own fault, I know. Everyone loves Braxton and Virgil has his fans as well. Now myself? Well, I barely speak to Cherry these days, but I’m glad for her writing success as of late. M Anime has never been a particular type of girl. And that’s it for the women in my existence Echo. Again there are a few that could get me into trouble. Such is my anxiety workwise. Inspector, there are always my other interests, but I’m trying. My “sons” are better men. But for now, Inspector, Boys Will, B, V.

633 Days Without B III, Day 074 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 113 ~B A Sloth Virgil~

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Sin can be exhausting. Lust keeps me awake. Wrath is how I survive the day-to-day. And while I have no pride for myself… well, I am proud of B III. But Virgil? He’s gaining courage but finding it can be tiring and with my laziness. “B A Sloth Virgil”

Saturday, October 22, 2022

Saga 113 ~B A Sloth Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m afraid I won’t be. I talk plenty about lust, wrath, and pride but fear.

Fear can be exhausting. I’ve never blamed B III for leaving; oh no, Lady Lunalesca. Braxton’s death and me being the selfish bastard that I am. It’s my failure and my disgrace. That’s true. What I don’t know is what movie that’s from. Lunalesca, to find it at some point. Only, of course, you know what that would lead to. “Fuck goin’ online that ain’t part of my day,” Drake says. Hell! The day is only beginning, and so far, I’ve avoided the porn, Lu. Ok, that’s a lie between Pinterest and Twitter, but how else am I supposed to wake up, I ask. I wonder how Braxton did it. Sure he likes his toy, but he loves me. Locked in his room even, so…

And to think I would protect him from seeing me like THAT! But when it came to my anger, rage, and wrath… I don’t believe Virgil has ever seen me like that. Well, short of when he was sniffing around Braxton’s bed. That’s not for him. There’s B III’s pillow? Lunalesca, if anything, most of my wrath is for myself. I hate myself without question. This week it’s been all about the medication. Which I have come to believe was a waste of money. I can’t afford a specialist. This morning, I only realized that I had missed a dose. Yet I’ll find the strength to go to the Day Job this coming week. I’ll hate every second of it. Oh, and there’s Virgil’s appointment.

Do you remember that movie “Augusta, Gone,” where Augusta argues that she’s a good sister? I keep saying it, I ain’t Virgil’s Dad. But Lunalesca, being V’s owner? GOP bullshit! But I want to show that this place is better for him. Only I keep looking at him, his nails. My fucking pride? I’m sorry about all the swearing. It was the same, Braxton’s passing. Lunalesca, I was the worst person ever when I was holding him there, shaking, dying. Virgil hasn’t hacked up a lung in days. He’s beginning to walk into rooms courageously. Shouldn’t that make me proud? I’ve avoided jacking off for sixteen days. Um, pride, yep. Though the fear remains. Lie here and forget the world, right? B A Sloth Virgil

629 Days Without B III, Day 070 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 110 ~To B Boys, Virgil~

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I wonder how many secrets Triple B took to the grave? If he’s up there, down there, somewhere, I’ll admit I’m ashamed. If he is reincarnated as Virgil… Well, the two of us haven’t bonded, really. We’re both just two lazy F… Anyway, To B Boys, Virgil.

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Saga 110 ~To B Boys, Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means everyone wants to be my friend. I can count my “friends” with one hand.

Now my Braxton… have I cried for him today? I am time traveling a week ahead, mind you, dear Echo. You can also add that I’m a mad maudlin masochist for today. I’m gearing up for the fight I will have today with the doctors here. Only I’m not leaving this bed except for nature’s call. Ask V something about that. He needs time outside pawing, peeing, and playing. It’s not like I tell him anything that’s going on. I carry him outside to comfy spots and B’s old food and water bowl. Ain’t like he’s getting one of his own anytime soon. Hence me fighting today. If I didn’t have Virgil, I wouldn’t be anymore. My anger, anxiety, and naked ass, aren’t worth anything.

If I have learned anything, it’s the fact that everyone is trying to eff me over. Am I being a selfish bastard? Hell! If B III were here, he would prowl around, growling at my unseen enemies. Did I mention how much I miss having Braxton on guard duty these 626 days? Why would I ever sentence Virgil to that? He’s been here over two months by the time you’re reading this. Hell! Shouldn’t Two V and I be celebrating? Not even on a payday. Instead, I’m worried about the next two days when I go back to the Day Job. Am I still taking two pills? No, only one stronger one. If it doesn’t work… It’s not like I can pay for these eyes.

All in a bit of faith in those I chose. My “father” has his boys. Inspector, the AC is on. When Braxton was here, I sat him on the porch and said we only have each other, and that was that. Now I am unable to talk to anyone, even you, Echo. I mean, here I am, Inspector but wasn’t it last week or the one before I screamed of loneliness? See! I can’t share with anyone else as I did with Triple B. And yes, I have confessed otherwise. But he was the closest confidant. And with my anger at others and my indifference towards him, it ended. And with or without the doctors, I would still feel so discombobulated. To B Boys, Virgil

626 Days Without B III, Day 067 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 103 ~Minding B’s And V’s~

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The last two months, but um, these last two days have all been about minding my p’s and q’s. The doctor that didn’t give a damn Tuesday. Trying to keep the Day Job. Cheating medical payments. But when it comes to the boys B and V? Minding B’s And V’s

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

Saga 103 ~Minding B’s And V’s~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why bother minding my p’s and q’s? Hell, I ignored ten months of health, right?

It shows how much I love Braxton. I only ignored his life for about four days. Well, it was longer than that. But the moment I got a chance to breathe from my effing Day Job, I was all about Triple B. Yet it was too long a wait. Despite what the books say, I’m guilty. Inspector, I’m still making those excuses when it comes to Virgil. While I was out the other day… (sigh). We’ll get to that. At Petsmart, they continue to have the doggie NOTICES in the window. I spent most of last night comforting Two V from having a hacking fit again. He hasn’t in the past couple of days. Yes, I’ve been going to the doctor and pharmacy a bit.

Echo, a reason I’m not minding my p’s and q’s now. Let’s say I need to find a new Doc. Well, I won’t be, come later on today. It’s why today I’m up early. And the Day Job is no bother. Hell! It could be the drugs they gave me… ok, that’s bullshit. No insurance and over a hundred bucks. I was up at one in the morning dreaming the loopiest shit I know. It’s only been one day but is it helping? I’ve wasted a lot of money in this existence, Inspector. I’m starting to think I should accept this as my punishment. If so, well done. But with my Republican tendencies. I will fight about the money. “Real American,” aren’t I? Doubtful GOP

How about being an African/Black American? While I lay in bed after having such an effed-up dream. Starring Ice Cube, Tommy Lee Jones, Radha Mitchell, and Nickelodeon. There were also those two girls from that new movie “M3GAN,” the list goes on. So I thought about how that doctor blew me off yesterday and cheated me. Inspector, there was a good doctor there, to be honest. Remember B III’s favorite, ha-ha. Anyway, I was thinking of how black people are sometimes treated by some in medicine. And now I have to fight the docs over money they already took from me. On top of worrying about this medication. If I’m not watching Triple X porn of 2X/2B. Remember “NIER: FIRST ASSEMBLY?” Minding B’s And V’s.

619 Days Without B III, Day 060 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 096 ~B My Medication V~

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Love didn’t save my boy. And his kidneys did him in for all the heart meds he took. Well, more like the point of a needle. Every time some doc sticks me with a needle, there’s that hope. Bacterial infection, nothing more. B My Medication V.

Wednesday, October 5, 2022

Saga 096 ~B My Medication V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I didn’t become a doctor. I despise most people, you know. Par for the course.

But how about a course of medical treatment? Oh, and not for my mental state. I cried this morning once again. All about my doggy, but there was also my depression and disgust, oh I know. It’s part of the reason we’re speaking so late at 5:55 AM. Am I not feeling good body-wise? I’m not sure yet but let’s start at the beginning. Which was last Sunday. Inevitable. Inspector, I went to see the doctor. And surprise, surprise, they found a bacterial infection. I don’t fear the point of the needle. As fucked up as it seems, pardon my French. It’s when I feel the closest to Braxton. I’m not one for self-harm… several “attempts” in my younger years which is another thing, Inspector.

I’m getting old. My hand to God, I never wanted to see thirty-eight. Hell! If I had a choice in the matter… I sound like one of those people from “The Cabin at the End of the World.” And how did that turn out? According to the doc, I’m an ordinary old man, Echo. After a bit of blood and peeing into a cup… TMI? They found I had something to fix for $17.00. Oh, and the $175.00 for going in the first place. Now I’m on the bottle and taking drugs… medication, ha. Again I feel close to my boy. I set alarms and down pills twice a day. Before I forget, my ears got cleaned. Or should I say “bukkaked?” People do suck.

But I am listening to the doctor and taking my pills, and then what? Will I listen to Virgil Vivi? I couldn’t save him from the heat when there was no AC, and now Inspector? Honestly, I don’t know if anything is wrong with him. And this week, Inspector Echo? Fucking same excuse when Braxton was dying? I don’t even remember what was so humiliating when he was trying to tell me something was wrong. I can say to you yesterday was the most fucked up day I’ve had in Inspector. Humiliations Galore! It Doesn’t Matter! My love didn’t save my son. And it’s not love when it comes to Virgil. At least not yet. For the Love of Money (sigh). B My Medication V

612 Days Without B III, Day 053 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 089 ~B III > V~

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My “father” “encouraged” me to read the book “1984.” He also had me read “Animal Farm” and the quote, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” Such “A Great Big World,” and I’m worried about AC. “B III > V”

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Saga 089 ~B III > V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means the only symbol worth a damn to me should be a dollar sign $.

Today has been all about pageantry, tradition, and symbolism. Like you, I’m getting sick of Time Travel. Today is Monday, September 19, 2022. And maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been watching Queen Elizabeth II’s Funeral all day long. I’m dead tired. Not funny, Echo? Hell! Not a day goes by that I don’t relive my son’s death. And by the time you read this, I hope Virgil feels better. Yeah, I’m hoping he’ll chill. I think he’d like to be put on ice. Again not funny. To be honest, he does need to see the vet with his birthday coming up in October. But that means I need the cold hard cash. But considering what’s happening an hour or two from now. Air Conditioner.

And that’s why I am ashamed. Roman Numerals were never my strong suit. Unless you’re talking about them someday making a Final Fantasy XXX. Triple XXX in general E, ok. First, it needs to be said that by the time you’re reading this, I hope I’ve gotten out of the Day Job today. Yeah, I need the money, but I can’t do what they ask Echo. I hate shoes, ok. Second, since I don’t have the money, who do you think is paying for the Air Conditioner repairs? I sound like a spoiled, entitled asshole. Daddy Wasn’t There indeed, sigh. Finally, for the love of money. I told him I didn’t have the money, and his friend fucked up twice. $630.00 flushed down the toilet.

Dammit! How much money has been wasted on me, and I don’t even know who I am, Echo? It could be worse. It’s like being one of those signs on a restroom door. That’s low. Politics? I know I’m a man. Inspector, I love tits, legs, and nice lips. My only confusion is what girl in the porn I’m going to blow my load to. Pornography, Echo brings zero shame. But the fact that I might need to hide what money I have left. I’m a man that can’t provide for myself or my… Was I going to call Virgil my kid? No, Braxton is my child, my son, firstborn. Losing him was everything. My “father,” Day Job, wants the rest. B III > V

605 Days Without B III, Day 046 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 082 ~B Lazy Today V~

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Even after “All These Things That I’ve Done” to this body and mind, let’s not get into the soul. I’m much too lazy now. That’s the point. Existence won’t quit me. That would be ok if I was the Queen. Are people still talking about her? B Lazy Today V

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Saga 082 ~B Lazy Today V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to be lazy. But since I’m lying and we’re talking today…

That would be Sunday, September 11, 2022. It’s like I’m back in school, which isn’t good. Hell! This whole damn day isn’t great. With 9/11, the fact I wasted all of E-Day week and the week after was horrible. Ok, that’s a guess, but Humiliations Galore, I bet. Do you know one of the reasons why I prefer the truth? Lies take so much work to keep up. Fiction isn’t a lie, but it is make-believe, and an author writes what he sees. And as the song goes, “smiling faces tell lies, and I got proof.” It’s called my book, which exhausts me looking at it. But then what do I call talking to you and the girls? I keep saying I’m not a prophet.

No, I’m a fucking Lazy Ass. I’ve talked about my greatest sins. Treachery, Lust, Sloth. Inspector, not a day goes by where I don’t think about what I did to my son. With my luck, I’ll be somewhere cold and dark. Another reason we’re talking now instead of the 21st. You know I need to speak to B again. But I won’t say today. The only reason I’m even up talking to you is, um… Well, I’m up. Sex gets me up doing Extraordinary, horrible things. The types of things I wish were only in some dark fantasy. I want to go back to bed. Yeah, like I ever left except for nature’s call. There’s barely food in the house, and why is that Inspector?

Hell! Virgil might die because of the heat or boredom. I shouldn’t joke like that at all, and I apologize. I was telling Braxton’s Aunt; that I’m not sure what Virgil even likes. But he follows my lead by sleeping and not wanting to get out of bed. Yep, it irks me. He looks at going outside not as an adventure but as somewhere to be fearful of. Who am I to correct him on such a thing? I was about to say I’m his father, but there is no chance in Hell, which is what this place feels like with every passing day. Have I tried escaping it? Not ever! I’m contemplating someone bringing food. Thanks, Cherry and Succubus Lord. B Lazy Today V

598 Days Without B III, Day 039 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 075 ~I’d B Lying V~

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What will today bring? I am not a prophet but Humiliations Galore. A ton of anxiety and rage. And I’ll be so exhausted if I see the end of the day that “the dreams in which I’m dying” will be the best I ever had. Because being happy? “I’d B Lying V.”

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

Saga 075 ~I’d B Lying V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but reread the title Inspector; I’d B Lying. And I can’t stand bullshit, bullies, and blowhards.

Inspector, I should also say something about Time Travel. Considering it’s Saturday, September 10, 2022. Sigh. You know what that means, Inspector. Today already sucks, ha! How do I know, right? Braxton wouldn’t share that sentiment, even while he lay dying. The second time I’ve cried today. But I doubt I’ll be going out today. How many Saturdays did it take me to find Virgil again? I’m supposed to talk about Wednesday and what I haven’t seen yet. Where will I be Inspector come the time you read this? Ever? Paranoia, Worries, Anxiety, etc. It’s all bullshit, isn’t it? The lies I tell. Again I can’t stand myself or anyone lying. But as always, I have my Republican tendencies, saving my ass and telling Virgil?

What? That I’m better than whoever had him in the first place? I think that’s what I’ve seen in his eyes for 32 days. Yeah, I’m the big bad bully. Hell! He got his name for the man who guided Dante through the Inferno. And the boy that could harness the fire and all the black magic, Vivi. But I’d be lying if I said I’m what’s best for Virgil Vivi, Inspector. I mean, when have I ever thought about being guided “through” Hell? It’s practically home. Got the temperature and everything unless you ask my “father” (sigh). Talk about being a bully. Oh, what am I complaining about? He offered to intercede. Inspector, my soul, ain’t worth air conditioning. This existence! What bullies do…

The blowhards. Cock sucking, dick-riding for Jesus, fucking you up, making you a bitch, and such. Pardon my language Inspector Echo. One more reason “I Need Some Sleep,” isn’t it? I’d be lying if I said it would help. There’s always the truth Inspector Echo. I’ve said before that the words I love you are used too often. The same with hate or kill. And it all comes out as nothing more but noise. Hot air! Inspector, I’m burning! Inspector, I am guilty, but not for all of it. The part that fears you will never read this, ever. What don’t I fear? What don’t I lie about? I love my firstborn, my Braxton. I don’t say love you, Virgil, yet… I’d B Lying V

591 Days Without B III, Day 032 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 068 ~B My Age V~

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Today is the second worse day of existence, E-Day. The first is the day B died. The third involves “Tifa Lockhart’s dress.” The fourth is starting the Day Job. But let’s focus on today or not. To not have to emerge or exist today being 38. B My Age V

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Saga 068 ~B My Age V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, at the age of 38. If that were true, then Happy E-Day. Of course, I’m not.

I should preface this because I’m writing on Sunday, September 4, 2022. You know I don’t want to do a damn thing on E-Day. Except that it vanishes. Hell! I need a break now, Inspector. But if I have any chance to … FUCK survive! The one thing I can’t fail at Inspector Echo. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I have to do something today. Air conditioning? The money I don’t have to help Virgil be more comfortable. And as for myself? Existence? Inspector, if I wanted to die, I could block my Olds’ numbers. Inevitable what’s coming. It’s only going to get worse. And without Braxton but with Virgil here. I should have thought about that. I’m amazed I rise every day.

Who knows, I might get lucky. We’re still dealing with the real-world Inspector Echo. Now that being said. As I spoke to my Future Wife, what do I want for E-Day, the 38th ha? The song says, “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” Inspector, to DIE. Simple and plain. I wake up on fire anyway, trying to comfort a puppy, don’t I? Speaking of a drooling dog, how about a drooling me? I’ve seen Braxton’s aunt Carolina naked, sure. Or at least her Yabbos. Either way, she won’t say anything about E-Day out of respect or forgetfulness. Then, of course, there’s Cherry and M Anime. Ha-Ha, that’s so funny. Cherry doesn’t know. M Anime… “Not That Kind” of girl.

Ok, that goes for both of them, to be honest. The other girls I know… or could pay for, um? Did I mention I’m right here with the door open to get air and help V with the heat? Yep. No money. But if I work today, I can get out of the house and find a fan or something. Echo, what will I do come the actual day? What about in the future as I do Endure and Survive? I looked up where I was last year. There were 37 things on that list, and not one was finished. Chronicle 068 ~B III The Emergence~. Lying, I did get a new battery. At my age, what have I done? To B My Age V

Chronicle 068 ~B III The Emergence~

584 Days Without B III, Day 025 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will