Lesson 174 ~My Name In Lights~

I just don’t want my story used in some horrific real-life tale… ok who am I trying to kid, I want the infamy of the Marquis de Sade but Christmas, it’s just another day and making a wish list *sigh*. “My Name In Lights”

Friday, December 22, 2017

Lesson 174 ~My Name In Lights~

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, my name isn’t Rudolph, Santa Claus, or even Jack Skellington, it’s Will; don’t worry it’s also hard for me to remember sometimes or not to be ashamed of it. Being ashamed though would explain a lot, why I haven’t been working on two of the books I’ve done, be it the content, the potential of success or failure, or just particular people knowing, maybe, possibly.

Anyway, oh right, it’s nearly Christmas, and I haven’t made an Impossible, Immoral, Illegal, Insane list, so my Christmas wishes:

1. I want my name lit up it book signings, I mean years living under fluorescents, people asking for signatures.

2. The light in my girlfriend/wife/submissive’s when I come home; I don’t want to say bitch but dog level excitement.

3. Speaking of someone to come home to, a place I genuinely consider home and not just some housesitting honestly.

4. Candlelit dinners and bedrooms, and not just a bedside lamp or a TV, moments I can’t wait to see.

5. A morning I where I want to be awake but still not leave my bed because I got love.

6. Never thought of myself as a pornstar, but yeah I want to make a sex tape a life goal.

7. Gunfire, though that sort of death is too easy for some people, so torturing some people and filming it.

8. I want to be full of creativity always, bright lightbulbs in my mind; I need the darkness and light.

9. I want my name in the whispers, moans, screams of Jennifer Lawrence, Shailene Woodley, and Chloë Grace Moretz simultaneous.

10. The day I burn this motherfucker to the ground and have enough money to buy… damn my censorship sadly.

Maybe that’s something else I should ask for, the courage to say what I want in the light of my blog, MINE but hell I would settle for one solid day of work in the light of day. Isn’t that what I always do, which is a reason why I’m not too impressed with the colors of Christmas, not anyone.

The spotlight though is no guarantee, I’ve seen the brightest stars begin to flicker with one misspoken word, they can be even worse than a sex scandal, right? Does anyone need to hear my story, see My Name In Lights?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 173 ~A Return To Innocence~

I won’t burst out into song or even a crying fit as sad as I am, I need to keep my fluids, and I must be the only guy looking for that stuff they used in the movie Equilibrium, or I need a woman like Winston Smith had. A Return To Innocence

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Lesson 173 ~A Return To Innocence~


Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, though I let myself down, literally, a loss of power, a loss of control and what was it this time, a fantasy about a maid, what about a bit of erotica, an incredible hatefuck, or just that pornstar Holly Lane, a million excuses sadly.

Now the first thing is I’m not Winston Smith; I think whores are deadening which is strange because I instead enjoy making the most innocent of ladies claim whoredom or making them claim to be sluts. Is it just me or does every guy want some virgin, someone untouched and yet they seek out pretty much any woman that will spread their legs? Hell, I could take this to a biblical level, women are responsible for original sin right, and the church teaches that a man must have a godly household, okay creeping myself out.

Anyway, I’m in that period of being thoroughly disgusted at my weakness and vowing never to give in again and oh look I have three of my fantasies on my phone. The thing is it isn’t the somewhat porn that gets me, it’s the idea, hell not even the tease, just the sweetest things, the angels that drive me mad, maybe that’s why I appreciate the silence and the dark. Maybe I need the hurt and the pain, the humiliation, and the degradation; while running errands today I remembered my own Harvey Weinstein pervy attitude, doesn’t happen too often but such and such makes me hate myself all the more.

Maybe it’s just the holiday season but I think we honestly need a new plague and then that reminded me of “The Screwfly Solution” … relax Dirty Diana; I’m not that much of a psycho. One must think however what women do to men or is it merely genetics, could be kinky, but some like being choked during sex and others like doing the choking, spanking, bondage, you know, etc.

I miss the feeling of my innocence, around thirty-one days of it and you know what I felt, besides horny… more primal like I was on the hunt, and I didn’t just want any woman, I could have one if I wanted. Maybe I just want to feel all lovey-dovey only, A Return To Innocence.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 172 ~Can You Read Sucker~

How many stars did they get again and my mind must have been somewhere in the stars considering I didn’t see what was right in front of my face when it came to these titles that I decided to review. “Can You Read Sucker,” it saved me once upon a time

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Lesson 172 ~Can You Read Sucker~

Forgive Me Echo,
No Fear, I’m no reviewer, contrary to popular opinion, so I’m glad the two books in question, I wasn’t asked to review I only wrote about them because, well apparently that’s what I do now. Perhaps my biggest sin is when I don’t keep my mouth shut, I could talk to you about yesterday but another story for another time, this one today is about “Story of O” and “Shiver” two reviews.

I have no excuse for either Inspector Echo, you know me sometimes I’m lazy, sometimes I’m just super dumb, and others, I’m just the typical guy looking to get satisfaction, which I suppose is redundant but whatever. As one of my rules dictates, “I Take My Own Lumps,” and with everything that I run away from in life, I say I’m going to Hell anyway so I’m not going to run from responsibility, for the most part. When it comes to Story of O, you’ll have to forgive me for this simple mistake; I didn’t know that there was a sequel, still, haven’t read it.

When it comes to Shiver, I would say I didn’t read the fine print, but it was right before my eyes, and I just wanted to get off; the good news is this book kept me on the straight and narrow path, emphasis on straight and the man I am. Could I perhaps be forgiven for the fact that I read the book anyway; most Christians wouldn’t think so, it being a gay romance but love is love, and as the song goes, I believe in a thing called love. So why did I call the book out for something I should have known; these books are like porn for women, and that’s a crime perhaps calling it out like that, but reading could beat Pornhub and Xvideos don’t you think, a kind thought nevertheless.

Now wouldn’t you think the responsible thing to do would be to correct my reviews to a certain degree, it’s not just enough to say you’re sorry but you must make amends if at all possible. I did preface my review of Shiver, but that still doesn’t make it right and again makes me look lazy and dumb; unlike in my spoken life, my writing is the one place I would at least like to pretend I’m smart at least.

So I’m sorry for the reviews, I’m sorry for any offense towards gays or women, and honestly, I do respect some Christians, and I’m sorry for being a lazy ass but do I have your forgiveness Inspector Echo, and you ask Can You Read Sucker.

I Will Have No Fear

Bed… It’s Not For Sleeping

I never got bedtime stories and with how my parents were… well if I were getting ready to go to sleep this would honestly keep me up and for all the right reasons believe me. “Bed… It’s Not For Sleeping”

With “Brutal Bedtime Stories: A Supernatural Horror Story Collection” it’s for hiding underneath the covers, it’s for finding a playmate, and it’s for reading until the sun comes up because you won’t be getting any sleep. Is the book that scary or so good, I’ll give you a hint, it’s excellent, but of course, I’m all sorts of twisted indeed.

These are the types of stories I wish I knew at bedtime… who hurt you; that’s not the only past I see, these stories make me all nostalgic for The Twilight Zone because I could see any of these made into an episode without a doubt. It isn’t something that I honestly set out to find receiving a free copy, and so I wonder what Tobias Wade thinks about me, hell the question is how do I consider him and the other writers of this work. Do you have any more, that’s the question I kept thinking with every story, what else you got hmm, is it worse than this?

I mean that in the best possible way, going from story to story, saying this is my favorite, no this, maybe this and as far as my actual love and the best overall, I wish us all luck with this review. Now again, personally I wasn’t frightened, everything but that, I could say apprehensive about a story here or there, turned on, mad, twisted, even queasy at points but not scared. Brutal Bedtime Stories is a book for the person that imagines the world inside their head is Hell; it’s nice to know you aren’t alone in this universe thankfully.

Sometimes I look at my work, and it’s like, this is child’s play… can’t remember any killer dolls in these stories though, for the most part wholly original and relatable if you’re studying Psychopath 101. Hopefully, I’m not boring anyone so far and if I am, go ahead and read this title now with my blessing, it will keep your eyes open for some time.

Your bed is for wondering where the real monsters are, underneath it, hiding in the closet or inside you all along, that’s the problem too many monsters and not enough people to haunt; a problem for this book, just way too many good ideas perhaps?

We begin with David Maloney, and his first story should start with a warning that you’re about to be sucked into this universe, from the get-go I was hooked and impressed, wow. Excuse me for trying to narrow down my top picks but if I go author by author with his work it would be between “She Says the Smell of Death Turns Her On” and “The Blue-Eyed Painting.” Already you know which stories I’m into if you read my reviews often enough but his collection contained a few twisted happy endings as I recall.

Tobias Wade had some weird family stories, some I wanted to see continued into even more extended versions of themselves, while every story makes you think, you want to go deeper. His first entry “Hell is Heaven to the Demons” that would honestly be my sort of afterlife, and if it becomes a full-blown novel wow, just the idea of coming back reminds me some of the Shusaku, Isaku, Kisaku series if that makes sense.

With Ha-yong Glenn Bak we get some more family dynamics but also the businessman of the group seeing as how plenty of his stories are about making money. “Make Money or Die Trying” is his first entry but we also have “A Site Called “Cash For Confessions” and “An App Called “Time is Money” also murder seems to run in the family with his tales.

Last but not least we have Kyle Alexander, the only one to give a character his name and while “Teenagers” was the last story and the longest, I much preferred “Shooting Stars” in its simplicity, scary it resonated with me. Sci-Fi fans though will get a kick out of Teenagers, not saying it was terrible but somewhat anti-climatic though it bit surprising for the end.

Put all these stories together you have an incredible combination, and they say, no man stands alone, but any one of these given their book could win me over overall.

Five stars without a second thought, from beginning to end it was like a rollercoaster of madness and mayhem and what are beds meant for, to be tied up in, sexy or lunatics, I have to wonder did these guys meet in an asylum. I can’t promise “no spoilers” or no bad times but this book what else can I say about it just saying.

I’m no doctor, but David Maloney has some ideas about sex both good and bad, but most have the villain getting his so he knows right from wrong. Tobias was all madness and death, if you’re sick of zombies he’s the guy to call, he has a refreshing outlook on ghosts, but maybe he’s not the family man just saying. Along with David, Ha-yong Glenn Bak is the one I most related to, sex and money it has to be between those two, and no offense but Kyle was the weak link, or maybe he was the one chosen for the cooling off period, to a certain degree I think.

Sad to say but it might be all downhill after the first series with David Maloney, and I don’t mean that to sound wrong, but he was the most original with Ha-yong after “Make Money or Die Trying” you see where his stories go, maybe it’s right, sex sells. If there is anything to complain about, it could be that I didn’t exactly know how to read this book, front to back of course but the stories blended together and as soon as you start the next you already forget the other. It only took me seconds upon reading each title to recall, but as I’ve been trying to do this whole time if one story stands out well two, She Says the Smell of Death Turns Her On and Make Money or Die Trying.

If you’re squeamish or have never thought about killing the person next to you, maybe this won’t be your book of choice but if you’re human than feel free. Now if you’ll excuse me this has been my confession, and now I need to find me sort cute girl turned on by death because truthfully Bed… It’s Not For Sleeping.

Lesson 171 ~A Spoonful Of Sugar~

“WebMD” is a friend to no man, and yet we’re all big babies when we get sick, and no my mother isn’t here, and the dog can only do so much to comfort me, but God bless him for trying. A Spoonful Of Sugar, she doesn’t have to be, “Mary Poppins Y’all.”

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Lesson 171 ~A Spoonful Of Sugar~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, if WebMD just happens to be right for once and I’m dying well… you’re my angel, and this must be paradise so I’ll do everything to stay with you now. Even if I feel like Hell at the moment, you give me fever, “I’m addicted,” and love hurts sometimes, and that’s just a fact baby.

Ooh, baby, baby, I won’t ask you to stay, I’m not sure what I look like or if I won’t be running around every ten minutes and I’m sure I’m the one being the baby. My love, you brought life into this world, and here I am praying for the hour of my death, and at the same time, I’m burning, freezing, coughing and sneezing, queasy and nauseous, but you’ve seen me worse right? I can’t imagine how you are seeing me now head in a bucket or curled up in the fetal position, maybe locked behind some door now.

You couldn’t save me before, and I’m not asking for you to keep me now, so what am I asking; of all the things I could ask a beautiful woman and as I said I wouldn’t ask you to stay and I won’t tell you to go. The golden rule maybe because if you were here instead of me, I wouldn’t leave you alone, I know my place would be at your side even if you hated me seeing you in such a state. I guess I’m just not used to anyone wanting to look after me and I try so hard, to be so strong, and now I can’t even pretend anymore, and yet you’re still here with me.

In sickness and in health isn’t that what they teach, forsaking all others but we got bills to pay and sometimes a man has got to be a man, a husband, a lover, a friend, a father and so many other things. My woman, wife, lover, friend, mother to our children and how can I ask you to be my nurse or indeed anything else.

Only you’re the one making me take my meds, cooking, cleaning, holding my hand, singing to me, bringing me back to life and that is difficult for me to accept. A bitter pill to swallow but I love you for it, you don’t have to kiss me though, I must look so gross right now but A Spoonful Of Sugar.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 170 ~Live Life According to You~

If the law scares me why am I my own worst enemy having to create my own, how about if I break a rule which I seem to do every single day, and yet I continue to write more when I can’t even follow number one? Live Life According to You

Monday, December 18, 2017

Lesson 170 ~Live Life According to You~

Eleventh Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear isn’t that what you came for, my rules, things I’m learning to honestly live my life and not just survive it because that’s just it isn’t it. I survive according to me, but if we can call any of this living, I live according to other people’s expectations.

For a few days, I’ve felt this nagging suspicion, somehow I might find myself fired, and why is that I ask you because I wear hoodies, I’m quiet because I’m not like other people and why ever do they think I hate them so? The scary thing is even my rules are a reflection of the world I live in, how I must live and don’t get me wrong, I’m not discounting the rules, unless I’m dead life must be… endured? If anything though this experiment itself is doomed to failure, how many books have been written trying to tell anyone and everyone how to live and yes sometimes I think it would be easier to become Didi Pickles and refer to Dr. Lipschitz, why do you think religion works?

Even if I listened to no one else, my body betrays me, like something out of Co-Ed Confidential, remember, the whole vote with your head, gut, and heart and James said vote with your crotch. Speaking of which it’s getting HARDER, you know what I’m talking about, but as I told some of the others, I’ve nearly made it a month, and of course, the record is forty days. I guess it also doesn’t help that I’m a man who doesn’t know how to sell a contradiction as the song suggests; maybe these are all suggestions, or ideas like it is in that movie Dogma.

See the thing is life is continually changing so how can anything be set in stone, I mean if I was living why am I denying myself but didn’t I say yesterday I want to adopt habits that keep me out of Hell. Then again that’s them talking I’m doing things because I honestly believe I can be better, I should be better. Only the final question comes down to, for who, these people I despise, the man I’m not sure I can be, my future wife, my dog who is busy with his desires but the rules come anyway.

Maybe when I finally found out who I am, I can genuinely begin just to Live Life According to You.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 169 ~Picturing Hell Over Heaven~

Is it hot in here, or is it just me, turned on, angry, spending in time in Hell but I do know there is a Heaven out there somewhere, and I only need one more glimpse of such a place, just one. Picturing Hell Over Heaven.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Lesson 169 ~Picturing Hell Over Heaven~

To Will:
No Fear, you know who the monsters are, you’ve seen their faces, heard their words, they echo in your mind, and Hell is a mighty big place. I can see why you would want to stick around and as much as I want to sound like some televangelist, in honor of Carl Grimes R.I.P. Just Survive Somehow Will.

It’s so much simpler isn’t it, it’s getting to the point where it’s not the worst thing that frightens you but the best because at least for now, this moment you know you can survive. Who am I to tell you to picture a brighter tomorrow, the point is just to make it there and then the next day, and the day after and that is an achievement and I’m proud of you. Then how about our wants, we still live by the four I’s, Impossible, Immoral, Illegal, Insane because there is nothing that falls outside of those categories but that will be your goal this week, ask what if.

Usually, I want to tell you to be a good man, a better man than me and again you already are, you’ve resisted temptation, you’ve survived the most extended hours this week, and you’re not making life harder for yourself, no that’s my job. I’m sure I’ve told you not to look back but here’s the thing, just because we see Hell doesn’t mean we haven’t seen Heaven, we might not remember it and hoping for anything at this point sucks. I want you to imagine just for an instant, you walk into stores all the time and see happy couples, you pretend that you don’t hear the whispers, hell as if people bother to whisper. Even today you bought hot chocolate and since you don’t drink alcohol, isn’t that a return to such innocence?

Will I ask so much of you and I have yet to find that one real accomplishment that may become a good habit, I mean other than breathing and that’s becoming more difficult I know it. This week I just want a creature comfort, something good that you can claim, a want satisfied that won’t land you smack dab in Hell and requires more prep than a bit of ice cream or a Rice Krispy treat, pretty easy you think?

If you found yourself in Heaven not Hell what would it be what if we’re not Picturing Hell Over Heaven?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 168 ~Bed Is For Sleeping~

Don’t we all have our place in the world and if bed wants to be mine who am I to argue, I can rage, rage, all I want from the comfort of my pillow but life has other plans sadly. Bed Is For Sleeping and living is for; does it even matter ha

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Lesson 168 ~Bed Is For Sleeping~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear of missing out on that though, for the past few days, my bed has been the center of my universe, though, besides my faithful dog, there is no sign of intelligent life, let alone living itself. As I was telling Indiana Gone today, I don’t know if it’s depression, sickness, or just plain exhaustion but the mere fact I’m up at all is a miracle, so food helps, surprise, surprise.

Not getting much relief from anything else, talk about being up, it’s been nearly a month now since I went on “hiatus” yes I’ve edged some and hell the longest I’ve ever gone is forty days and then let’s say the flood dissipates. You would think with all my free time I might do something constructive and if you count my day job then yeah but what was it I was saying about my depression? I can’t blame it all on work though, as much as I would like to, I think I’m becoming a sponge, and sooner or later you have to ring it out or throw it away.

Sad that I always have to remind you that I’m not on the path of suicide, trust me when something like that gets to me you’ll know, but I am reaching a threshold when it comes to all this negativity. Darkness infects the real world, and soon there will be fire, but when my fictional universes follow suit, I guess it’s just getting to be a bit too much. It’s as if I have hit a threshold of death and despair but what exactly was I expecting from The Walking Dead and Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I spent my one miracle on today sadly.

Sleep is the one escape from everything though there was one nightmare of being fired and considering my writing career and whatever I may have to do or not do tomorrow. Am I more or less frightened? It’s one thing when you know the gallows are built and ready, another when you have one more day in prison Lady Lu.

Have I even tried to learn anything today, it’s the reason I write down my rules and hoard the mail but even then, what of everything I’ve forgotten by now? There is always more blood, more hurt, more despair and what about fear, when I’m awake, Bed Is For Sleeping.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 167 ~Can Robots Write Stories~

Robots telling my stories might be a million times better than not finishing and letting people get a hold of it, hell people might never get a hold of it in the traditional sense, since I’m so lazy in writing these days. Can Robots Tell Stories

Friday, December 15, 2017

Lesson 167 ~Can Robots Write Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, I bleed plenty both on the page and the real deal, and before coming to meet you something else was as hard as steel though I kept the logic not to do anything… okay, so I could be a robot. A pervert, a depraved lunatic, a porn snob but I don’t feel like a robot because I would honestly be on time for something other than The Last Jedi movie.

How much time it must have taken to write such a tale, not to mention the similar histories, theories, what if motifs, I could go on and on and then again maybe not because I have been asleep most of the day. How about the fact that my brand of storytelling or perhaps my inspiration is going to be a high price to pay, considering all this Net Neutrality foolishness that has become so suffused with everyday life. Can I be blamed for not taking my work to print at this time as this Lady Sophia, another excuse I think?

Just like my lack of energy, if only I could run off sunlight. I sleep so many days away without a second thought or a third, not even a fourth. Still, I hear my story echoing in my mind like some incredible “Force.” If I hadn’t mentioned it before, like all this week I went to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi, spoiler alert, can you say love triangle? Not me, I’m too busy building brothels in my dreams, and I thought this whole, “kick” that I’m on was supposed to give a person more energy, at this rate why am I saving that last 5-hour ENERGY, I need help.

No, I need to stop claiming myself to be this Marquis de Sade aficionado, concerned citizen of the world, how about lazy as and just write. Even at work when I told my boss I couldn’t stay later I did so, and for what, I remembered “you put your hand on the plow, you finish the row” but what the hell does that mean to my ambitions and my dreams?

How about the tales dead men tell or don’t for that matter and neither do sleepy, lazy ones, flesh and bone should beat metal, but by the time I ever finish, Can Robots Tell Stories.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 166 ~How Stars Are Born~

In a galaxy far, far away, or just a mind as dirty, as depraved, and as perverted as my own, or maybe I just really need to pop and if won’t be sex, give me some laser fire and lightsabers any day. How Stars Are Born, if I had one wish

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Lesson 166 ~How Stars Are Born~


Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, hopefully not tonight, though to be honest I do intend to be a Star Wars father someday, but first I got to find the right girl, and if I lived in a galaxy far, far away that would take even more time than now. Speaking of which do you think George Lucas and whoever is writing/directing Star Wars currently might have a thing for brunettes or girls with dark hair, that would explain my fetish to a degree somewhat.

There is no way I can tell you I never had a thing for Princess Leia and her slave bikini and as you can see, well I always wanted to fuck Natalie Portman, strangely I’ve seen her sexier, but this works well. My first fantasy this evening, of course, would be to see Princess Leia taken by Jabba the Hutt and any number of his creatures, monsters, and tentacles are still write up there. Can’t say I’ve thought much of incest porn but Leia and Luke or better Leia double teamed with the team of Luke and Han, probably a gangbang of other heroes in the rebellion or Emperor Palpatine.

If you want to know my ultimate fantasy I have three more names for you, Padmé Amidala, Rey, Jyn Erso along with Princess Leia. It sounds like I want to open my space brothel and hell one man did Dennis Hof and the Alien Cathouse, that is indeed a place I have to visit one day. I’m not limited to the beauties of Star Wars but that’s one of the reasons I’m coming to you a day early or not, I have to get my rocks off somewhere you know.

Whatever would I do if I could have my way with the beauties above, yet another reason to be a Sith, a man of the Empire, the First Order, talk about the sort of power you would have in chains at your disposal. There are far too many scenarios in my head from mother-daughter to Jyn in prison, making love to Rey in the desert sands, sounds hot in more ways than one, hell awaits.

The hentai “Helter Skelter” set in the Star Wars universe, I don’t know how I’m going to get any sleep tonight just picturing that this is How Stars Are Born?

I Will Have No Fear