Tag: Father

Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

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How to, like the song, “Lift me up, hold me down, keep me close, safe and sound.” I put my son in a book, two unpublished. Not like all the books I’ve read this year. All the records. And 2V now sitting in B’s room for 125 Days. Virgil’s Library To B

Friday, December 16, 2022

Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m always angry. Or is it scared, maybe tired? Is it horny? A murderer?

All the billionaires on Twitter? I would be in damned good company. Except I take responsibility for “All These Things That I’ve Done.” I didn’t want my son to die. Murdered. That’s the story I’ll keep telling myself. Hell! Everything else seems to pale in comparison. And no, that’s not a dig at Virgil. The truth? Virgil isn’t Braxton reincarnated. I should get back into reading books on dogs. I began “The Christmas Rescue” yesterday. The ways words have of pissing me off, Lady Sophia. These words, these words, these words, they have power. I know I sound um STUPID but take this under consideration. I read The Christmas Wife while Braxton was here. 2021 “The Christmas Nanny.” Now “The Christmas Boss,” “The Christmas Rescue.”

While I’m busy digging up this library and my son’s past, I should also mention… other family. It’s my Ma’s birthday today; no, I don’t know how old she is. Sophia, I can’t even say that I went to get her a gift this year. And no, I didn’t forget (sigh). I’m sick of reading about how broke I’m getting with every passing day. And the possible answer is on all these pages. Or, at the very least, read more and stare at titties less. Is reading about them any better? Last night, I found myself getting pissed even more. First, I blame Elizabeth Kelly. Again I read one of her books with Braxton around. One after. Two with Virgil. Somehow it seems somewhat fitting…

I had a 526 Daily Streak from September 16, 2020, to February 23, 2022. Fucking Kindle ruined it. Anyway, my point is Braxton is between the lines. He’s everywhere, Sophia. Even when I’m sitting here, hot as all Hell from day one of NO FAP again and angry for ruining a seven-day streak. I can imagine B III cuddled up with his Aunt’s boobs today. He died as I had finished reading Succubus Lord 7. And yet I wonder why I listen to the Succubus Lord series again and again. Though the tenth one is my favorite, to be honest. I read The Enchanter after Succubus Lord 7. Thinking of seeing Cherry’s Yabbos for real. So many books, and where’s Virgil? Virgil’s Library To B

684 Days Without B III, Day 125 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 164 ~Dream Big Enough To Wake~

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Champagne wishes and caviar dreams? Nope. Last night I dreamt of candy, pizza, and a breakfast sampler platter (yeah, Succubus Lord). It got as far as steak and sushi. Now, as the song goes, “the dreams in which I’m dying….” Dream Big Enough To Wake.

Monday, December 12, 2022

Saga 164 ~Dream Big Enough To Wake~

Two-Hundred and Seventieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, but nine times out of ten, you wouldn’t know it by looking at me. Peaches & Cream, more like hoodies and jeans.

If anything, when I dream of the future, well, consider last night. Simplistic. That’s if I want to be nice about it because all I was dreaming about, Madam, was “I Want Candy.” Strawberry and Blue Raspberry, to be specific. Hell! I can walk to the mini-mart. Even before I went to bed, it was all about pizza. I need to stop listening to Succubus Lord every day. If it’s not the “people” porn we get to, it’s the food porn that comes along with those books. I’ve gone from pizza to steak, a breakfast platter, and sushi. A man and his stomach. But it beats getting up because of nature’s call. Or the nightmare that awaits me most days

I call it a Day Job. If my alarm had gone off for that… But no, I only got up to jerk off or rather edge. And that was after letting 2V answer nature’s call. If you’re asking why I’m so late talking to you. If anything, I want to go back to sleep as usual. To live the dream… 680 days now. My vision remains the same. That B III is alive and well. I want my son back. Do you remember when I’d dream he would have all the room to run in the world? Or that he would be on a beach playing with his two-legged siblings. I see him, my Braxton the grey or the white. Too old for this shit

Ironic that my boy dreamed of staying with me, and when I dream now, I want to follow him and never wake up. Another reason that while Virgil is not Braxton. B III sent Virgil? Honestly, he’s plenty white, ha-ha. A ghost in this house? Joining the club, right, Madam. And then there’s what I say every day. This little ball of fluff is pushing me out of bed every day. Hell! Sometimes I’m mad enough to move him but does anger beat indifference? Emotions that are big enough to wake me. But not one is ever for good. Morning wood inspires me to find someone. Reminding me of what I once dreamed. Having a family. That’s a big dream. Dream Big Enough To Wake

680 Days Without B III, Day 121 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

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Of all the things I take pictures of. In the mornings, um… usually boobs; in the afternoons, it’s 2V. And when it gets late, book quotes usually involving dogs or boobs… and wisdom. I wish I had more pictures of B III. “B More Photogenic Virgil”

Friday, December 9, 2022

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “I ain’t no superhero, I ain’t no Marvel Comic.” Damn true.

As true as V not being my son… I should get back to reading books about fur babies Lady Sophia. “VCard for Christmas” had Bull and Muff, but we’ll get there. First, my not son. While I was at the Day Job, I had to think of something that didn’t so closely resemble Hell. Now I am going to Hell someday for what happened to B, but again V’s moment. Every day I take his picture, but why? Braxton was here for fifteen years, and how many pictures are there? I guess as proof that Virgil is still alive. But, you know what I see. Lady Sophia, it’s more what I’m trying to see. I want to see Braxton in him. Only I never do.

You take these things for granted, you know. When I’m not sleeping, I’m always crying. To this day, I remember Braxton’s last look. I was/am his dad. Right up to the very second, he felt his life slip away, and I became a misanthrope, a monster. “I don’t wanna be a murderer.” Lady Sophia, more music. Reminds me of V crying when I leave the house. He’s much “Happier” when I’m sitting here… lying here, reading a Christmas Erotica… Not out loud, of course, ha-ha. It’s always the same story or ending, at least, yep. A picture of the life I want for myself. It’s not like Virgil is getting any browner. I don’t see myself walking out of the Day Job. Oh, and misanthrope?

Sophia, being honest, I’ve always been. I should have my face in the fucking dictionary. Me, with a big STUPID grin on my face. My smile is for Triple B. I wish that were true. Thinking of the future, though, always gets me back into XXX. Wheeler Walker Jr., anyone? If my son isn’t here anymore? When looking at Virgil, I’m not seeing him either? Women! Always with the women. I still see myself marrying some cute brunette someday, Lady Sophia. A brunette with cute glasses and a nice pair of tits. Is that drool? For the record, I continue to hate looking in a mirror. And yet what I want from 2V, somehow, someway. To see myself in his eyes… B More Photogenic Virgil.

677 Days Without B III, Day 118 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 157 ~Luxury’s Nonessential; Beauty, Good Are~

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What do I want for my life? 673 days, it’s been, ‘I want my son back.’ But when he was here, I’d sing, “I want the money and the cars, and the clothes, the hoes, I suppose” Luxuries? Having a friend like him? “Luxury’s Nonessential; Beauty, Good Are”

Monday, December 5, 2022

Saga 157 ~Luxury’s Nonessential; Beauty, Good Are~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. If you talked to me yesterday… I’d have fewer dollars and desires. Be less of a dick.

Like this rule, I am still determining how I ended up on a list for Better Homes & Gardens. Millionaire/Billionaire addition. Wouldn’t that be “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous?” I’m letting my age show, aren’t I? I’m thirty-eight, and what do I have to show for it, Madam? It was only last night that one of the bathroom rugs got a bit too ripe for me. So I washed it instead of getting a new one. Duh! But it’s been years, Madam. A lifetime? What about when I was at the eye doctor a couple of weeks back? I wonder if I told this story, but I wore the old glasses until one side snapped. Besides, you know, seeing. I wanted the same type for my son B III.

I stand by my vow. Everything is exactly the same. It’s more like the song Every Day Is Exactly The Same. Yes, I haven’t left that day ever. Sunday, January 31, 2021. I need that day; I need B. Ok, so while I cry and you tell me I shouldn’t remember him like that. There’s his pillow I destroyed. The hoody and sheets I had to wash. I should again soon. Virgil Vivi is upstairs. Madam, what was it I said about being less dickish? A Deer Head Chihuahua puppy? That would be a luxury. Instead, I got a Chihuahua mix who’s two; and what drew me to him. He could pee on the pad, and he’s got no balls… figuratively and literally. The fuck!

That was mean, but 2V is a good boy. Only I keep saying it. B III didn’t reincarnate as him. A fact I can let go for now. Um, you know what I’m reading. But these books got dogs too. And speaking of being a “dog,” what about my views on women. A shallow bastard. That’s not changing anytime soon, but I look to M Anime, Cherry, Braxton’s Aunt once. “Beautiful Girls” sure, there’s a lot of “Pretty Girls” in this city. Finding a “Cheerleader?” You know what I want, Madam. And yet I’m willing to “settle” down. Myself sigh. Because having the brothel/haram that Dennis Hof once had is a luxury. I’m jealous of the life I “deserve,” but Luxury’s Nonessential; Beauty, Good Are

673 Days Without B III, Day 114 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

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I call myself a writer… a leader of men… I only needed to know the language of a fluff ball 670 days ago. But, of course, I stopped listening to B III. And Virgil Vivi, whenever I leave, he cries. But what else is he saying? Uh? B’s In English Virgil

Friday, December 2, 2022

Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m mad as Hell, which is par for the course, I guess. English, Billionaire, B…

He’s still gone. I should have read a few books on necromancy instead of reincarnation. Hell! Considering my grades in school regarding reading and Language Arts, hmm. That’s what I was thinking about at the Day Job. If only I had been a better student Lady Sophia. Yeah, I wouldn’t be stuck where I am right now. Fighting off sleep and talking to you. Ok, so that was mean, and I apologize. But what does that do? I apologized to B for not being able to save him. I even said I was sorry to Virgil for how I picked him up. There are a couple of ways you can look at that if we go back 111 days. Gotcha Day. How could I ever?

Virgil Vivi and I still need to understand one another. Could that all change now that I have a few days off? I swear, my lady, these words have so many meanings. How Bizarre? Like saying I’m sick. Do I mean mentally, physically, or emotionally? Oh, there’s my rage. My body has been sick for so long; I don’t know what it is to feel better, to be honest. Though I haven’t been right since Braxton. Well, even when he was here, Lady Sophia. Breathing was easier. I talk to him every Thursday or when Time Travel Permits Sophia. I even pray to him. These few moments I once gave “God,” but I never learned to talk to him the right way… Steve Buscemi said:

I remember Todd using “Buscemi” as his “safe word.” On the one hand, Todd is right… sorry, Mr. Buscemi. It immediately shuts down thoughts of sex. But then, Succubus Lord? It’s where I know Todd from. And speaking of which, where’s the holiday erotica, hmm? Not that I mind reading about dogs. One more lady’s success while I continue failing. Writing, speaking, “Lord Give Me A Sign.” I’ve been listening to a lot of music instead of audiobooks. What! Should I listen to Succubus Lord yet again? And I have other books, but I haven’t been in the mood. The same can be said about people at the Day Job. HUMILIATIONS GALORE reaching epic levels! I can’t even tell Virgil. I need to learn his language… B’s In English Virgil

670 Days Without B III, Day 111 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 150 ~ Don’t Speak Ill Speak Truth~

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“Mark of the beast…” 666 Days without my son. If I were a better man, I would have published the story of my angel, my devil, and the prince. He lived true, and as for me. I exist in a world of lies. How else am I “alive?” Don’t Speak Ill Speak Truth

Monday, November 28, 2022

Saga 150 ~ Don’t Speak Ill Speak Truth~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can have a big mouth. I hear the snickers already. Me, talking, like ever?

I think of that saying, “Don’t speak ill of the dead.” Was it Dawson’s Creek S2.E19 “Abby Morgan, Rest in Peace?” Fuck! That was May 5, 1999. I was still in high school. Fuck me! Anyway, before that, there was Daria S1.E13, “The Misery Chick.” That was July 21, 1997. Hell! Let’s go more recent. There is Jason David Frank, aka Tommy, November 19, 2022. But, of course, the first two were fictional deaths. As far as Jason goes… who am I to speak, Madam? Back in my day, ha-ha. Oh, I was a big fan of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I remember my Ma telling the church congregation about my “love” for TMNT. A lie when spoken back then. Make Me Wanna Die!

Another saying. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” We know better now, don’t we? Don’t we? It’s one of the reasons I want to be a writer ha. I desire such power; an idea, a thought, or a belief can destroy. It’s the lies, dear Madam. Do you wish to create monsters? Are you ready to see Hell? How does one raise the dead? It’s with a LIE. To think STUPIDITY is the virus I fear. That is a disease of the living, Madam. With a LIE, the things you can do. That is sorcery, my discipline, necromancy. Is fiction a LIE? I create, I destroy, I rise, but most of all, I speak. Yet I hate liars.

If I’m not living for Braxton’s memory… You didn’t think I forgot about him? And, of course, there’s Virgil, who still needs me? What did I say about liars? Reincarnation? Madam, I live to tell the truth. But what can a Simple Man do? I don’t live; not at all. Existence since… Hell! I don’t know when. We are The Walking Dead. Rick said once. Then again, we are the ones who live. But not forever because I will tell the truth. Even if all I am doing is playing out some 1984 fantasy. A documentary or reality, for sure. The only death sticking with me is my son’s. Who Wants To Live Forever? The truth shall set you free. Don’t Speak Ill Speak Truth

666 Days Without B III, Day 107 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 147 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

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It wasn’t a dinner to write home about. But I’m not a bastard. I thanked my Ma and, of course, shared with Virgil. Who knows, maybe we could have our own full Thanksgiving meal if I were writing books or reading those of merit. They’ll B Books Virgil

Friday, November 25, 2022

Saga 147 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I will be if any of my books get turned into a movie. Right, NaNoWriMo…

I’ve missed the whole damn thing at this point. And as far as what I’ve been writing… Well, the most positive thing I can think of is this. The past two days at the Day Job haven’t been the most horrible in recent memory. But it’s better not to talk about today lest I cry. More like flying off into a RAGE. Considering a few recent “stress releases.” I’m hopeless. Ok, back to positivity. I did finish reading World War Z Thursday. A Kindle Challenge. But that means one more thing I have to do today. Finding something else to read. And Lady Sophia, it’s getting around that time. The books I read over the Christmas Holiday (sigh); we’ll get to that. But my education…

Hell! Like I ever took that seriously before. If only I had done so. There are so many idiots making billions and ruling the world. Not to mention all the people making money for anything and everything. That is another reason I’m heavy into Audiobooks. Succubus Lord? How many times has it been now, Lady Sophia, reading about Jacob and his Harem? Sophia, I have plenty of books about harems. Only reading my writings and musings, ha. And as I said, we’re approaching Christmas, which means Christmas Erotica. It’s a little bit funny; I’m unsure how to feel about that new movie, Violent Night. Christmas sex? Um, yes, please. But violence? Especially since I like Home Alone and Die Hard. Hard, something I don’t want.

Well, only when I’m in a position to have some girl do something about it, Lady Sophia. But I’d give it all up to go and read a book with Braxton napping away. Memories, Sophia. The turkey dinners Braxton and I would get from my Ma. In comparison to yesterday, Thanksgiving indeed. But aren’t I a grown-ass man? Yeah, I’m nothing to write about. And again, the Day Job could have been a million times worse. And if I wrote something, anything, of merit… It always comes back to this. B III would be alive. The unbridled avarice of his own turkey. And A for Archie wouldn’t have become V for Virgil. Is that mean? Virgil will have a book someday. They’ll B Books Virgil

663 Days Without B III, Day 104 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 143 ~Sometimes You Gotta Fight Dirty~

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What’s my age again? I had a Game Genie. I took Karate classes. And war was a game. I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. Now I suffer the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” I’m not in the dirt. Hmm, Dirt? “Sometimes You Gotta Fight Dirty”

Monday, November 21, 2022

Saga 143 ~Sometimes You Gotta Fight Dirty~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have to be the dirtiest player in the game. A wrestling reference… Ric Flair

I would instead think of his daughter Charlotte, but we’ll get to that. Oh! I haven’t missed her from wrestling. Why do I even try to keep up with it? Um, it’s a distraction, okay. And it’s not fair. At least it isn’t a pleasure. Not the fighting part, anyway. But it catches my eye since Braxton isn’t here anymore. Virgil’s first hundred. One hundred days and I ask what I should be doing. My whole damn existence, it seems I do one thing. Well, that’s a lie; what am I always saying? Endure and Survive. Games. I miss gaming. And yesterday, I talked about cheating when it comes to reading. Fuck! Pardon my language, but life is hard. Promise, I’ll stop… the sexual innuendos…

Yet I’m always hard, horny, and humping. Can I stick with dirty? But as for the fighting, Madam. I’m so tired of fighting. Or at least that’s what I want to believe now. Not true. Madam Justice, I’m tired of fighting everyone, everything, everywhere. Instead of the real enemy. Looking at me now, you can see what I’m fighting. Inevitably why? Because I couldn’t stand up at the Day Job? Humiliations Galore. A day without them? My dear Madam Justice. Every day I play by the rules, and what does it get me? Is it too much to ask to do a job and come back? Or maybe I don’t understand the rules of this game. Hell! 365 days Madam. Still, I rather not play.

Well, I don’t want to lose, would be more accurate. And by the way, who’s keeping score anyway? One more reason I’m into audiobooks. People are winning; the world’s losing. At least I’m not throwing dirt in anyone’s eye… Putting them in the ground. Lying! Braxton is still gone. My player two, my sidekick. And somehow, I wanted Virgil to be my navigator, of course. But he’s in Braxton’s Room. Again one hundred days Madam. Where are we? There is no we? It’s me being dirty yet again. Cheating my way through this game that’s called life. I exist. I don’t know how to win. Even wanting to win someday? Madam, what’s your take? I know love’s not a prize. Sometimes You Gotta Fight Dirty

659 Days Without B III, Day 100 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 140 ~Vitamin B, Not V~

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If I were writing out my vitamin regimen, that would be something. But no, the usual. I miss my son. Work sucks, I know, as the song goes. I’m always horny. Discombobulation, depression, death, I fear, thanks, Yoda. Things within me, Vitamin B, Not V

Friday, November 18, 2022

Saga 140 ~Vitamin B, Not V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can buy plenty of books, the good drugs… um, women? That’s not right.

But it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a bit. With all of my medical issues… yeah, I’m always horny, as well. M Anime, Cherry cue (homer drool). If I had the cash, My Lady? Can’t buy me, love, right? But what is it they say about an adoption fee? I look at V here… Only I still want Braxton back. Should I read another novel on reincarnation, perhaps grieving? If anything, I should be asleep right this second. But the meaning of my WORD? Sophia, I said I would never get back into 5-hour ENERGY, but here I am, wide awake and raring to go. I can’t tell you why I went back to buying them. Hell! The world sucks, and to torture myself?

Was it reading my last paycheck and going nuts? The money never seems to be enough for everything. As you can see, I’m time-traveling. It’s Thursday, November 17, 2022. Oh. There was reading the Day Job schedule, and I reached this conclusion. Call it a new life goal. I want a job, a career… Fuck it, a life that I can stay in bed all day. Again with the sex. It’s the only thing that keeps me awake despite everything else. I need more wakefulness, ha. Yet I don’t want it. Every night I go to bed hoping I’ll never have to open my eyes again. Who would take care of Virgil? When it was Braxton, it was only hoping I don’t go to jail.

What? I’d have time to read, and if the prison movies I’ve seen are any indication… (shudders). The one constant thing is the Humiliations Galore. Awake for that, Sophia? This whole year has been about my health. From my fucked up ears to a bacterial infection and my broken glasses. Stuff going into my body. Only I rather focus on putting a particular part of my body into things… people. Sex toys, women? I should stop talking, I know. Tomorrow will be worse than today. Sacrifice today for tomorrow’s betterment. From some motivational speech. The things that go into my head; Braxton in my heart. And now energy drinks, so the words will flow out of me. But nothing for NaNoWriMo? Vitamin B, Not V.

656 Days Without B III, Day 097 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 138 ~Plan B: Codename Virgil~

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If Virgil wasn’t here… What am I talking about? I wound up in the hospital when I had Braxton. But he had three more people looking after him. If something happened to me now? Getting through this week, the next, a moment. Plan B: Codename Virgil

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Saga 138 ~Plan B: Codename Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I invested in contraception. But we’ll get to that. Today, there’s no plan.

There was the one to talk shit about Virgil Vivi; pardon my French. I think I made a mistake, Inspector. Not a “Send Him Back” sort of mistake. Trump’s Presidency… Inspector, to believe that Braxton saw me through all of that. My “zombie apocalypse buddy.” Virgil is not? How many times have you heard me talk about Braxton being reincarnated? Has the time come to accept that Virgil is his own man? How long did it take B and me? Bonding, going batshit, figuring out that we both liked boobs. Well, him, I’m a connoisseur. I had to give B III, “The Talk.” But Virgil? I don’t know him even after 95 Days. And whose fault is that? If life’s a game, love’s the instructions.

But I’m not looking for love at the moment. Hell! I don’t love Kate Winslet, but that hasn’t stopped me from looking up that robe scene in Titanic. Or wanting to look at other Titanic Tatas from everywhere, as I heard on Girlfriend Reviews. Inspector, you think that’d make a good porn title. What’s the alternative if I’m not looking at the naughty channels? Not good at all. Humiliations Galore have me all kinds of angry every day. The Day Job gets worse. Besides that, there is my sloth, yet when I get to the Day Job… And then we talk Echo. Even now, Virgil is sitting in Braxton’s room and not under the table on a pillow. As I write. It’s not his fault.

If I had focused on plan a or b… as in Braxton. I keep thinking that he’d be alive, Inspector. Instead of showing my rage, ha-ha, I chose to live indifferently to be numb. That was my plan to “Endure and Survive.” And how did that work out? My son is dead. Little B III. I don’t plan on anything, to be honest, Echo. But between Six Impossible Things and even what I want today. To talk to Braxton and Lady Sophia. I’m still not close to finishing World War Z. So I’ll be even more of a fraud with my reading. And what about NaNoWriMo month? When it comes to my existence, there’s always plan B… Though I rather not. Plan B: Codename Virgil.

654 Days Without B III, Day 095 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will