Tag: Knowledge

Episode 295 ~Until You Know, Keep Asking~

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I know a little bit about many things and while no one is a fool for asking when did silence suddenly come to mean “retardation,” and so I’m not talking to those people anymore but instead speaking to the Universe. “Until You Know, Keep Asking”

Monday, April 22, 2019

Episode 295 ~Until You Know, Keep Asking~

Eighty-First Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now. I’ve stopped asking how and started believing in now. So when’s the last time I listened to any of my motivations. Well okay other than the one about money. Only I will keep doing that along with tempting the UNIVERSE, every day Madam Justice.

The thing is, I’m tired of looking; well you know the word. Yes, that happens mostly at the Day Job which is why I sing, and I don’t care who hears. I know now I’m alive and I’m not going to ask permission to do so. Still strangely enough singing is having a positive effect. However, I don’t take shifts where I have to ask questions. I don’t ask to move from one location to the next. I’m living this life with the belief that I know what I’m doing from now on. In truth who has any idea? Of course, this leads me back to those people that don’t know. Then I do ask the question of when am I going to tell them to keep their hands off me. I swear one day.

If I’m looking forward to any day, then it has to be when I get a decision from Cherry. You remember when I dared to ask MILF Dos about modeling for me. Shocker, I never thought it to be possible she would say yes. I got “Okay” to take off her clothes, and that didn’t take anything but what, my charming personality. I’ve been asking her ever since though and ain’t that a story Madam Justice. Cherry though, I’ve mapped out the photo shoot. Even gave it a name “Cherry Pickin.’” Nevertheless, I ask and continue to do so because I got to know. Funny know and no, and I’m hoping for the former always.

You see it doesn’t make anyone stupid to ask. What hurts the most is when everyone expects you to, it’s like that Twilight Zone Episode The Path. For the longest time, I’ve been asking questions about things I know. I read somewhere that nobody gives you the education to overthrow them. Only some people overestimate my desires for their position in this life. Again you know what I want in life. The Universe and I have never been close, but I’m learning to trust it. Just does that mean losing faith in people as well? Until You Know, Keep Asking.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 318 ~Can Pencil You In~

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Homework I could see myself getting into, I can’t remember anything of Algebra which means any future kids of mine will either be super smart with their mother or might need a tutor but anyone learning to love… “Can Pencil You In”

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Lesson 318 ~Can Pencil You In~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, even if I don’t know the right answer, understand the question or I tend never to give up, I suppose you might also call it a bad habit? In school my favorite subject was history, and now here we are making history as there’s never been a love like this, don’t I think highly of myself, of us, nothing people will ever write a book about but don’t I try plenty though.

Not in a foreign language though, I failed French, wanted to learn Japanese, and while we both hate Trump I can’t say I’m a fan of Spanish, Mexican people are great and maybe I figured I would have to travel the world to find you. It also explains why I didn’t do so well in Geography either; so lost without my phone, my music, and of course Lost Without You. I thought I never would which leads me to Reading. I lost myself in books, where I imagined that you and I were together, but I was never the right guy, from Young Adult Novels to Dark Erotica as you can tell from the library, and I was so busy avoiding everything else, just saying.

I created stories, wrote poems, even a song here or there inspiring me in what you would indeed be like and for a man that didn’t do well in languages, English wasn’t my strong point either. Honestly, you were more like Math but then explain to me why I love you so and I hated numbers; I would write the problem, again and again, thinking, maybe one day I would get it and “then there she was” there you were. For all the things I was supposed to be learning, and all the teachers I’ve had in the end and I honestly did have some memorable teachers but it was man’s best friend my first born four legs and all, and you my beautiful wife, who taught me the best.

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.” ― Forrest Gump (1994)

“We Found Love in a hopeless place” okay maybe life isn’t but I sure was a hopeless romantic, and with all the things I’ve “learned.” How to truly love another person, how to be the better man, the man I wanted to be, the man I have to be, I must be a genius. I still don’t think it was God, but somehow, someway I found a tutor for this thing called life. If living without you was Math, then living with you it’s like learning how to write finally, to once and for all answering one plus one or two plus two, thank you, Winston Smith and Captain Picard.

Yeah, I’ve learned plenty being a fanboy but being a husband, a lover, a father, well “I Want To Know What Love Is” so as you “Close Your Eyes And Wander” in dreams my love, tomorrow morning and forever maybe I Can Pencil You In.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 311 ~Want It That Way~

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How many ways can someone say those “three little words,” and in how many different ways, so many others seem so much better at it, and when it comes from me, it’s me saying it but can I be more? Want It That Way, if I could?

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Lesson 311 ~Want It That Way~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, as if you ever stopped or would, and “I Swear” and not “By the moon and the stars in the skies” or shall I quote the bard:

“O, swear not by the moon, the’ inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circle orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.” William Shakespeare

My love threatens to consume me, to hold me to this place that is by your side and yet grows to everlasting and so I’m always searching, reaching, and chasing after you, “Hanging By A Moment” okay, and now I will put down my phone.

To think I would have you love the world before me or if I loved myself the way you love me, I’ve become a broken record, a remix, it might be downright theft, but it only reminds me of the day we first met. The man I was before then became lost to better words, ideas, images, not that I could ever lie to you, no I wanted the distance, not that I feared you either, so was it the chase? Here I thought I was the one to do that and maybe that’s why only now I’m starting to catch up because I wasn’t running towards you, I was running away, waiting until I was sure; takes a lot.

“I just, I know we don’t know each other all that well or anything.
But circumstances are making it, so we’re all getting kind of close in here.
You know? So don’t let me run, OK?”

“OK” ― Containment 1×04

Seems dumb I know so far into marriage, how long has it been, how many kids, my dog getting old in the tooth but what am I not sure of after all this time. What reason do I have to doubt the woman who has stood beside me, shares my bed, and who has given love meaning? How can I challenge the man I am today that’s somehow managed to accomplish this, to live “The Impossible Dream” to be more than an “Escape” … see I’m still copying what am I trying to say in my words, my dearest love?

I love you… I can say that forever, and a day only I always want more, if I were a man of faith, I would say I’m reaching out to God to thank him for you, but I would go to Hell happily “For The Love Of You,” “My Goddess.” Yes take my hands in yours, make me forget to think of anything or anyone but you and I here and this will be enough, my gift, the man that disappeared so many years ago, his story every last word; you’re making it all possible.

So before I break into the Backstreet Boys, Sam Smith, or croon “Let My Baby Stay” speaking only as your husband, your love, take all the time you need to love me now, then, and in the future and know I Want It That Way.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 232 ~Disease This Thing Called~

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I’m just adding to my list of sins, poisons, and diseases, and if I can’t find a cure to such things I might die but I’m still breathing aren’t I, and while they say love is all you need well, my dog is doing his best. Disease This Thing Called

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Lesson 232 ~Disease This Thing Called~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, knowledge and understanding stop fear, well maybe I shouldn’t say stops, no the fear never stops but somewhat redirects it, for example at work, I focus on the location instead of the people. You should hope the people at your day job never hear you talk like that, hell if they listen to you speak ever, like “Pontypool,” it’s a disease this thing called humanity, and you’re infected.

I’m sick, you’re ill, and I don’t know if there’s a cure and while I said I don’t blame the media and often lament that this place is Hell but as the song goes “I’m still breathing, I’m alive.’ Well, you see as I try to start over every week. The past will continue to haunt you though; you will continue to commit my same sins, you will become older and be ashamed, how often do we talk about the poisons in your body. Fear, Guilt, Hate, Lust, Shame, so it looks like you will need several more cures, what else do you have going on these days, let’s look at those impossible things now:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 01 No Fap)
2. I Will Clean Out My Inbox
Failed
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
Failed
4. I Will Figure Out HR
Completed (Hopefully)
5. I Will Focus On The Dog; My Little Boy Is Turning Thirteen The Thirteenth
Partial Completion (A Decent Party)
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter
Failed

With so many failures at this rate I’m resurrecting a dead man, and with that, you can change, like I said before I’m going overboard announcing my death and surprise you haven’t yielded, the fact that you’re up dictates you’re doing something. This week the goal is to redirect, not an uncommon idea, and a story prompt the seven deadly sins making themselves out to be virtues and yes there are seven virtues, but we deal better in crimes don’t you think? A lesson if you must give into lust, work on your Pinterest boards, shop for outfits, to clothe your future submissive, if you must be a glutton then eat real food, try that Walmart Pick-Up. If you’re greedy then make it for more words and time for your impossible things like these six:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Get Out Of The House
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
4. I Will Do Something Nice For Indiana Gone’s Move
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish One Whole Chapter

If you’re going to be a sloth get seven to eight hours nightly and spend more time on the couch and not in bed; watch some of the Olympics as well. Wrath would be better served on Walkers in The Walking Dead No Man’s Land and while you’re out and about if you’re going to envy someone make it real like all these interracial couples you’ve seen, strive for that if anything, I’m just saying.

I want you to be proud of yourself, I want the dog to be proud of you, make the future mother of your children proud, make it damn near a disease because life should be something if not a cure but Disease This Thing Called.

“It’s about redirecting.
Evading.
And actually caring about the welfare of your opponent.
So you have to care about yourself.
You don’t have to believe your life is precious, but that all life is precious.
You have to redirect those thoughts, the history that tells you otherwise.
What we’ve done, we’ve done.
We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.
To make up for it.
To still accept what we were.
To accept everyone.
To protect everyone.
And in doing that, protect yourself.
To create peace.” ― Here’s Not Here 06×04, The Walking Dead

I Will Have No Fear

 

Lesson 212 ~If You Can’t Love, Understand~

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Why do I hate you is the most common question but when is the last time I asked the man, staring back at me why do I love you and before I ask him to change his ways I must understand why he is the way he is. “If You Can’t Love, Understand”

Monday, January 29, 2018

Lesson 212 ~If You Can’t Love, Understand~

Seventeenth Rule Madam Justice,

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Sun Tzu

I Am Not Afraid Anymore, or I won’t be once I finally understand the man I see in the mirror every day; love him, probably not but to get to know him… there’s a possibility. It gets harder to show kindness with each day passing and hate can be just as tricky but to understand, I believe that will save lives more than anything else.

Look at “Battle For The Planet of The Apes” there was an ape named Mandemus (The Keeper of Caesar’s Conscience and Armory) and before one could acquire a weapon you needed to explain why. I joked with a friend once that by the time you got past him you would have forgotten what you were mad at in the first place and thus tragedy would be avoided. The Jedi are without a possessive love but where they failed is their fear to understand the Dark Side, denying an enemy exists does not negate the enemy. Instead, you must contemplate why it is so to hate.

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” ― Verbal, The Usual Suspects (1995)

Keeping in mind animals are so much better than us, I don’t know how my dog knows, but when I’m sad he comes to cuddle, if I’m hurt somewhere, that becomes his focus. If I lock myself in the bathroom, he sits beside it, even offered me a blanket once. In that same token if someone attacks me the only understanding he needs is, somebody he loves is in danger, and so he fights; that’s the rub we don’t have to like everyone or love, but we must understand. If anything that’s the reason we’re still here, the human race, we have turned following the who, what, when, why, and how into science, religion, and art but it only buys us continuation a moment more.

So as Michael Jackson put it, I’m starting with the man in the mirror, when I understand him, and I mean genuinely acknowledge I can then decide to love or to hate, but man and especially woman are so damn complicated. I can’t touch a star, but I can build a rocket ship, I haven’t killed anyone but I can dig a hole, and it’s quite easy to buy a gun, that just got dark.

My point is how can I hate him for being a loud mouth while I’m understanding my quiet, how can I hate her words when I can’t define myself, I hate her looks but can’t embrace what I see in my mirror, one must understand, If You Can’t Love, Understand.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 083 ~Build Stacks Like Empires~

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I really don’t have time to go over my whole playlist again while I was mowing the lawn and being a rapper has never been one of my pursuits and yet this ‘lyric” has been on my mind all day long. Build Stacks Like Empires, stacks of what, words, cash

Friday, September 22, 2017

Lesson 083 ~Build Stacks Like Empires~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but do I have originality, individuality, what is it I’m forgetting because this title has been driving me crazy all day; where have I heard it before? Besides that, I’ve been thinking about what it means to build an empire and the question becomes does it even matter if it is left unseen and unheard of by any man honestly?

Today I have done more to build up my house than to build up my writing unfortunately because I’m still worried about what people will think of me so I spent all day mowing the lawn and sweeping. Writers are supposed to be messy, probably artists in general because why do we bother with this world other than to be seen, we’re busy building our own universes. We find freedom elsewhere as we can only be slaves here though sometimes I don’t mind; I have Braxton sleeping on my lap so honestly, typing could be somewhat easier in any case.

Knowing me I’m finally going to get that title when I’m in bed and won’t even think about writing it down or maybe it really is my own idea and I just don’t like giving myself any credit. Luna, I have way too many secrets to bother seeking credit for anything but then again what are we doing here if that’s the case, do you know any of my secrets? According to The Hunger Games Series, secrets can be more valuable than anything and can lead to the destruction of an empire just as quickly as just lighting a match.

Is that why we try so hard to look normal, I mean compare what the neighbors think of me, to my coworkers, to my family, and just about anyone else. If secrets are the heart, then money is the armor, a lesson learned, again and again, money can make anyone beautiful but it can offer a protection that can never be dismissed by anyone Luna.

That’s what it always amounts to, making more money, we’re about making more money and in order to do that, I must appear as a pawn. What’s wrong with being a pawn like today’s rule “It’s Worthy of Your Soul” or like the song “seek out a kingdom, worthy of your soul” a new way of looking at “Hide & Seek” or something like that.

So what have we learned today… a wall of normalcy allows you the opportunity to seek, make the money, build the empire, and then you say besides that lyric driving me crazy today the truth is Build Stacks Like Empires.

I Will Have No Fear

Stilts Not Included

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I don’t think that word means what you think it means “stilts” but anyway the way some women are elevated, the way some men elevate themselves to be worthy sadly. Stilts Not Included… cause’s she so high above me, they all are, to be honest

When all that need be built
was not the wheel reinvented,
but gravity itself circumvented
something so unprecedented
like teaching a man to fly
Though once it was the biggest castle
a mountain’s hassle
there be dragons here, a battle
hands to hilts

Troy or Greece, or some ilk
we fought, we made the sun divine
Jesus enshrined, we signed
papers, take pills for more time
and don’t we all know why
Bone Thugs, that’s why I stay high
Can’t look her in the eye
So I wish on every star in the sky
just so the world can tilt

the trees wilt
autumn leaves
fall and I finally believe
what so many men strived to achieve?
Jokes on us *sigh*
That we have climbed and grown enough
knowing we must
fall, land, or ask what’s up
To the pretty girl, no escaping our guilt

Being Men

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 032 ~In Oprah We Trust~

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I don’t think I ever watched Oprah as a child except once when they were talking about children being kidnapped, thanks for fostering that fear grand mommy. “In Oprah We Trust”, I saw the cover of her magazine and strangely enough found courage.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Lesson 032 ~In Oprah We Trust~

Hey Lady Lu,
I think I’m starting to sound like Phil Dunphy… I’m turned on by powerful (black women) not really truthfully, but this is the second time one has inspired me so. Not so much the courageous thought but today Oprah via a magazine, gave me a new life motto today, something I’m truly trying to actualize, “NO FEAR”.

“I’ll admit it, I’m turned on by powerful women, Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena … Williams … wait a minute.” Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

It wouldn’t be the first time, you remember the dreams, Luna, hell the absolute certainty, when it comes to writing, an endorsement from Oprah and your words were seen as holy writ. I want to feel that certainty now, that one day I’m not going to feel like this, that one day I’m going to embrace those words, no fear, she didn’t even say it like that but the things you find in the break room at work. A bunch of idiots talking about nothing, that Mr. Goodbar that is becoming my go to snack, the mother of my children that is going to get me into trouble once again…

So why today and how about tomorrow, how about right now, if anything I wish I was being more articulate with this, but the best ideas often come at the worst times. As much as I want to embrace this new ideology, I know I’m not ready yet, couldn’t ask the mother of my children her name. I won’t let myself forget about this new motto tomorrow, I need to ingrain this as easily as I did “the incident” as quickly as any other humiliation, I need to know this.

To think this all started with a magazine cover in which the question was asked, “what would you do if you weren’t afraid”? Do we really want to know Lu, my hands are shaking at mere aspect, like father like son right, Braxton and I, afraid of what we love the most or I hope?

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
― by Ayn Rand

You know if anything I’m always one for a good quote; knowledge I think is perhaps the greatest gift you can give and I mean in every single form, mental, carnal, ideological, and even spiritual as long as it requires you to think. One of the reasons I both hate the church and envy them because they tell you not to think but by wiping you of the will to do so you gain the courage to do anything really.

“Seek out a kingdom worthy of your soul” Worthy of Your Soul” by DJ Milky and b-nCHANt-d featuring Rachel Pollack

This is my life’s motto, for a long time I considered it the meaning of life, not so much anymore but even now this is where I’m headed but my mistake has been operating from the shadows. No one builds a kingdom from the dark but rather brick by brick, stone by stone, in the light of day and they don’t let anything stop them, even when they don’t have anything really to show for it, even when others are surpassing them. I apologize, Luna, I just saw something and to be honest my heart is sort of hurt; nothing against me but it still sucks, damn you “Ms. Seasons”.

“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.” I have no idea

I knew I should have waited but curiosity right… okay I’m getting over it, anyway this just goes to show that I must be braver again, no fear, what has fear ever gotten me. Maybe like hate it gets a bad rap, you know what I say about hate and with fear I have lived by yet another motto “it’s better to be a live chicken than a dead duck” but on that note, I’ve had plenty of chicken and I’ve never had duck. Think about how most chickens live out their lives, now I’m no farmer but if anything I look at ducks somewhat better than I do chickens.

“Let us take the world by the throat and make it give us what we desire.” Conan the Barbarian (1982)

No fear my lady, everything but fear, the Marquis de Sade says lust leads to other passions, Yoda says it’s fear, you know this is going to take a long time for me to accept one or the other or even both. Today let’s say that Oprah and Yoda are right, we’ll get to lust soon enough but the question still remains, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?

“A word of advice – don’t mistake stupidity for courage.” The Undertaker, The Cherokee Kid

“The Day” is coming up soon and I’ve often said… to myself, that everything I ever wanted was inappropriate, insane, or illegal so let’s pretend I’m not afraid, what’s next…

When I was making my new year’s resolutions, one was the fact I wanted a new woman in my bed every month or a girlfriend and I can’t say I have lived up to either of them. A part of me wants to say something to Ms. Seasons about the “mile-high club” but at the moment I’m still too angry, I gained the courage to talk to you again to start really writing because I was so upset. How about making a move on that girl today, “Senseless” nearly got me fired, I’m really going to have to start remembering all these nicknames for real.
As far as insane, I could always quit my day job and start writing full time but wouldn’t that be stupidity disguised as courage, I’m sure that’s what everyone would say. I could finally stand up to my father which borders on the illegal side of the line because if I were to do that…

Should I really tell you about anything I would do that is illegal, honestly Lady Lu it’s just you and me in this place isn’t it but okay, I could always have a woman… if I were willing to pay for her of course. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kill someone, they say games like GTA make us killers, and stuff life Virgin Roster makes us so much worse but I’ve always been pretty law abiding… yeah, I’m laughing at that. The worst thing I could do, I have such fantasies but I’m not Ned Flanders, I’m not Christian Grey, and I’m definitely not Oprah ha.

What have I learned today, something I have always known, I’m afraid, I’m addicted to fear itself but now that I know it I will fight, In Oprah We Trust.

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity Kitai. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.” After Earth

Convince The Reaper

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People often talk to God and even he’s not there or he ain’t listening and these past few days I have heard plenty of people asking other people why. Convince The Reaper… can anyone really know, why do they try; humanity

For what is death, if not a Contract
Between what we consider destiny
And perhaps the one simple fact
That you and everyone you meet
In the simplest terms… will die
Yes I know even me
Yet you question and want to know why
We will all have the big sleep

As if you have some Covenant with God
Or whatever you call that higher power
Seeing the lives now robbed
Wondering of that final hour
Alas we can never see
Until it comes for us all
Consider it too soon maybe
But I ask, who you gonna call

How do we manage that Conversation?
Who now speaks for the dead?
Listen to the voice of the nation
Do you know what I said
Nothing, yes for there is nothing
There are the dead, the head, and oh yes the great divine
While there are those who look for something
Whatever will they find… this time?

With all they’re Collaboration
When has life been fair?
People talk about what they call salvation
So they seek life elsewhere
Praying for those that have been lost
Or albeit much too soon
Knowledge I’m afraid is a heavy cost
Preferring not to think of doom

Though it is always Coming
Is there anything you can do?
Won’t tell you to stop running
I suppose I know my truth
At the end… for those still Alive
Asking after him or her
Feel free to ask why and to cry
No not one life can Convince the Reaper

Copyright © 2012, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Hear Me Out

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Once upon a time I made a mom pretty “darn” angry, and it wasn’t my mom for once and I can’t say that this poem helped any. Hear Me Out, well to be fair I don’t even talk to my own mother or many people in my everyday life and still, I try to explain.

Hear me here
I wish you were dear
My girlfriend, my lover, or even a friend
So where do I begin
This isn’t the place
Or is this a waste?

Hear me there
Do you care?
What I have to say
I listen every day
… Okay, okay I’ll shut up
You’ve had enough

Hear me now
Better yet how
Freaking blocked me
You’re not listening
Or buying
Am I lying?

Hear me in
Is that a sin?
These screams
My dreams
Aren’t real
But you feel

What I am
Is not a good man?
Which I never cop to
But a fool
For freedom
So read on
Or don’t
You probably won’t

Hear me out
What I’m about
Sex and drugs
Death and blood
But to clock
And knock
Let me explain
Know my name
Am I too loud?
Just hear me out