Tag: Father

Chronicle 277 ~Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her~

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I say some pretty effed-up things. But the worst part of this is what I didn’t say. It took 428 days, not to mention my son. I was too busy thinking about kissing some girl to see my failure, grief, and stupidity? Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her, um

Monday, April 4, 2022

Chronicle 277 ~Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, or if I were, I’m sure I’d be in a better mood. Good morning is a lie.

Let me be clear, I haven’t found my “human” soulmate yet. I don’t have a girl or even a Miss Right Now. Is it stupid to say all this now? Confessions for the Inspector, Lunalesca? Right now, talking to you. But I think about two other girls. Uh, I’m in no mood; um, ok, yup. But how can I say that? Considering it’s now 6:00 AM. And yes, I was up at 4:00. In more ways than one, of course. And what have I been doing besides falling back to sleep? Well, you know because I’m going to tell. Like Lester in American Beauty:

“I was whacking off! That’s right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying “hi” to my monster!”

I told Cherry once I was doing that when I thought about her. What would M Anime think? Braxton’s aunt would dig it, I know.

First off, I didn’t finish as much as I would’ve liked to. Second, it’s been 35 days since I’ve cum. And because comedy comes in 3’s, Lester was played by Kevin Spacey; uh, that guy… Better focusing on him as Lester or Jane played by Thora Birch and voluptuous yabbos. While I’m talking about actors and actresses, how about Will Smith? I’ve been listening to a lady at the Day Job talk all sorts of mess about him. How do I feel about him? I’ve got three words “Big Willie Style.” That album was released in 1997. Got me through school. It’s my opinion that people are much too hard on Will. But I’m not trying to argue with some broad or sleep with her.

That’s why this rule doesn’t work. Not with this chick, but I mean in general. It only applies when you already have the woman. And sticking with acting, here’s Scarface:

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

Money fixes a whole lot, if not everything. But how much money do I spend trying to get some woman to take off her clothes? Kisses are free, aren’t they? It’s from a song I heard like tequila makes her clothes fall off. But I don’t drink either. And telling a woman all these things, Madam. The truth about myself… Prevent Your Stupidity, Kiss Her.

In all this talk about women, I just noticed something. Besides mentioning Braxton’s aunt, I wasn’t thinking of Braxton in this conversation. It has been 428 days. What the fuck!

Gospel 277 ~Love, Madness, Lies Braxton~

428 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

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Am I writing a new novel today? With the way, I’ve been feeling and considering when I’m writing this. Now I could talk about B III forever. Point out a post before January 31, 2022, where he isn’t mentioned. And there’s always Gulp… B III Of Stories

Friday, April 1, 2022

Chronicle 274 ~B III Of Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But this moment, that’s only “another” word like so many I’ve written. Where to begin today?

Time Travel? Of course, seeing how today is Sunday, March 27, 2022. So, of course, you know why we’re speaking today. Existence is nothing to write home about. But fiction? Considering that it will officially be Camp NaNoWriMo season by the time you read this. So should I write a new novel as per usual? Everything within me screams absolutely! Only I did say fiction, right? I’m still cringing over my stupidity and/or horniness this morning over Cherry. I’m checking every now and again. I’m worried about losing a friend. Hell, if that whole series I wrote didn’t do it… And I’ve forgotten plenty of it. I should start publishing books then, you say? How about writing another one about a B III universe? Gah!

I want to publish, My Turn To B III. It’s only gotten longer if you count every letter I’ve written to Braxton by now. But that’s not going to get done with me staying in bed all day yet again. Wouldn’t I be better off working at the dining room table than the Day Job? My Grandma always said I was one for pride, so is it that when I say no nine to five? Sophia, I could take Braxton into the fiction world. You remember how A Dog’s Journey got to me. Talk about reasons not to see films. Clarity June got to me, and then there is X. Do you remember the horror movie I want to see? But without writing any story?

This brings me to Gulp. I paid those people off years before my son passed. I swear if I had a dollar,… more like if I had my money back for everything I’ve wasted on certain sexual novelties or time. There’s $200 somewhere with a particular sex worker. Thousands more on a pretty sizable investment. I like Eric Vall, but he stole a twenty. I could go on; anyway, back to writing. Finishing Gulp and sending it off is always in my Six Impossible Things. Who knows, that book could have saved Braxton. Again my fucking Day Job. You tell me to get to writing. How about back to reading and listening? Most of the time, I only sleep. Like today… B III Of Stories.

Gospel 274 ~Are You Kidding, Braxton~

425 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 270 ~Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently~

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If I only had a brain, the heart, courage. All that left with B. All I am is an old man with what? I should break out a fiddle, but B says it’s not my time as old as I am. Not Zibby’s or Jesse’s. “Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently.”

Monday, March 28, 2022

Chronicle 270 ~Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And money, much like my age, is something I don’t want to worry about. Yet I worry.

Sensing that something is wrong. As much as I enjoy talking to you, Madam, why are we speaking today, Thursday, March 24, 2022? I can’t call this time travel. Only FEAR. Dammit, my health concerns continue to plague me. When’s the last time I saw a Ph.D. for other than my eyes? I’ll need some antibiotics. I don’t have the good sense to ask a doctor. That requires money, which brings me to my concern and why we’re talking. (Taking a deep breath) Fucking Day Job!!! Pardon my language, Madam, but I don’t know where the fuck I’m going. There’s no schedule out yet, and I can’t help but think this is all my fault. Do you remember when I got “the call” before, Madam?

Desiring to be at that shithole is… as Todd puts it, “No Bueno.” You’ll have to forgive me, Madam. I’ve been listening to some Succubus Lord and have no desire for the real world now. Braxton stops me. I spoke to him today about the dream I had and wanting to hear from him all this time? Madam, he could have been sending me a message to prepare for war. I’m tired of fighting. But doing something with my life in service of him instead of becoming a monk and torturing myself? The world gets even more fucked up daily. Turning off YouTube social media, my desire is to sleep. Only sometime today, I need to look over the books. Desires are expensive but Necessity.

Necessity would mean more than being some horny fanboy. It’s time to be an adult… Have you seen people older than me all over America? Wizard of Oz, everywhere. Madam, I mean to have a brain, heart, and courage. For example (ahem} Ketanji Brown Jackson. Now the GOP/GQP, they make no sense, desire nothing but power. Pain is their Necessity. Why do you think I always say “Republican Tendencies?” Because I’m A “Bad Man.” Nowhere near as bad as that, but I’m not a good one. What age makes us? Inevitable. Don’t I believe a man can change with time? Well, how much of Braxton was in this? He was my sense, desire, and a Necessity in my life Madam. Sense, Desire, Necessity, Age Differently.

Gospel 270 ~I Growl B Cause~

421 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 267 ~There Will Be Stories~

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I didn’t tell my Olds stories about school. They always hated the endings. When I told my son stories, they weren’t for him but for me. I would fall asleep, and he’d stay up to protect me. At 5:00PM, I’d read, and he’d sleep. “There Will Be Stories”

Friday, March 25, 2022

Chronicle 267 ~There Will Be Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and Braxton would love to hear how. That is while he’s eating. I’m all ears too.

But seeing how it’s a bit past 5:00AM, I’m only now getting up… It wasn’t a female or some financial gain. No, my Lady, it was FEAR. Why would I need horror stories ever? I only needed to read the Day Job schedule if I wanted that. Yesterday I was all in a tizzy about what came next. Ask, and you shall receive. “Why do the things I hate come so naturally,” as Dance On Our Graves goes. Life is one fucked up story. And while I’m quoting music, how about a movie? “You’re one… ugly motherfucker!” Some things Soph… The quote is from Predator (1987). Second, I don’t mean in body but mind, spirit. Lastly, pardon my language. The things I let B see.

And now I sit here every evening reading books on dead dogs and wonder why he’s not around. I mean, other than that dream. And I haven’t had any more in days; until I know. What, how to bring Triple B back? I’ve started reading this book called “Will Your Dog Reincarnate?” I was so out of it this morning that I thought today was Saturday. So am I pretty anxious, you know. At the moment, not about B III? I got my tears out for him earlier. Existence. The fact that his life ended and that I keep going. There are much better stories for sure. But what is the last one I read that was appropriate for the two of us? Sometime last year, hmm, “A Different Alchemy.”

Of course, that’s about a father losing his son. I’ll never be one all hardcore for faith, but here we go again, “God’s Trying To Tell You Something. I did read the book of John with B III years ago. Lady Sophia, I think of that verse, for God so loved the world. Nope! Lady Sophia, I’m like Joel from The Last of Us with Ellie. Fuck the whole damn world; he loves her, and I love my son. So here come the waterworks, and you know why Sophia. I need a sad story because at the moment, the fucking Day Job is the worst one there is to read. Again my language. How B III’s story ended, that’s sadder, but There Will Be Stories.

Gospel 267 ~The Future B Fruitful~

418 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 263 ~No, Love Can’t Tell Time~

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When did I fall in love with B? A “man” plopped him in my sister’s arms? When I saw him on the floor trying to know his own legs? I told him to get in the car? When he defended the gate protecting me. Ayeka Anime was quicker. No, Love Can’t Tell Time

Monday, March 21, 2022

Chronicle 263 ~No, Love Can’t Tell Time~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. So do I love myself? We’ll get to that. I had many different ideas for this rule.

I doubt I’ll love anything or anyone more than my Braxton in a week. That’s right, Madam, I’m time traveling once again. At the moment, it’s Sunday, March 13, 2022. Another day that Braxton isn’t here to see. 414 to be precise. Can I count the days I love Braxton? Madam, I still am, but of course, I meant to say when he was living. Hell, I’m about ready to sing out “He Lives In You.” My son is alive as I live. And I will endure and survive, ha. You know how I have spoken of “Dangerous Words.” I read in Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate about thoughts of suicide. The Grim Reaper avoids me. “It’s Not My Time.”

But it’s always time to look up a good song? Hell, who am I kidding? There’s always time for another porn. How do you think I could stay up this morning to conversate with you? Again I go back to what I was talking about to the Man in the Mirror. I can barely keep my eyes off the clock when I go to the Day Job, and time moves so slowly. As much as I know that hate gets a bad rap, it moves as slow as anything. Oh yeah, the war, right? Or hate can’t tell time, too hmm. But I know I can’t stand to look at myself, to be honest. Let’s not talk about indifference. Braxton lived for five more days.

My love for my B was not long enough. My hate of so much seems to be eternal. Day Job! I wouldn’t say I love porn, but I know time flies by. I can look at a pair of Yabbos forever and a day. Trying to talk a friend out of her clothes… How much time have you got? I’m speeding up because the faster I finish speaking, what will I be doing, more porn? Only I’d give it up if I could have my son back. Reading Roxanne Hawn’s book, she talks about trading one memory for another. I create an album and put Braxton’s pillow away finally; stuff like that. But take a good look around. Good Grief! No, Love Can’t Tell Time.

Gospel 263 ~To Be Mean Time-Travel~

414 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 260 ~We B Waking Up~

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I never read Braxton a ghost story. I can’t say that the book I’m reading now didn’t warn me. And yes, I would call Braxton all kinds of names at one point but let somebody else say something about him. It’s too early. “We B Waking Up”

Friday, March 18, 2022

Chronicle 260 ~We B Waking Up~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but does that give me a reason to wake up? Today it’s “The Hunted” from StudioFow.

Would you feel better if I talked about the book “It’s Just A Dog” by Russ Ryan? If you had asked me Thursday morning, I would have said I was looking forward to reading it. Hell, the best book ever? Today, not so much. But I believe B is speaking through novels. How else would my boy reach me? I read every day. Do you hear that Kindle? It’s what I do, ok! It’s not like Braxton can run over my head anymore; he would slip on all the tears, Lady Sophia. But I’m not only crying over him in the morning. Fucking Day Job, my existence. Pardon my language, but I am upset. I can’t even explain to a computer why I’m never happy.

Anyway, why my change of heart about “It’s Just A Dog”? I’ve completed 49% of it, Sophia. I hate waking up to these realizations that seem plenty like acceptance Sophia. I’m not writing a book review since I’m not halfway through the book yet. In fact, the last somewhat review I did was for Succubus Lord 7, dated Friday, January 29, 2021, so yes, B III was dying. I haven’t done one since. That’s one more sign, don’t you think? And that’s what I have been waking up to. I keep reading signs since I don’t see Braxton in dreams. But ok, talking about the book. At first, I figured it was B III speaking like Pete talking to Charlie. Braxton’s less of a douche.

It’s no shame to say a dead man is dead or that B was, as his aunt told me, “protective.” When I hear Braxton’s voice in my head, he sounds somewhat between a little kid and an inappropriate teen. “Had lotsa treats. And a good rack, too.” That’s Braxton easy. Sophia, OK, more like Russ Ryan, but you can see why I thought Braxton was speaking. Morning after morning, without rhyme or reason, I get up, hoping to hear from Braxton. It could be that his lack of a word is the message… B learned from the best, didn’t he? But what does he think I would rather be doing than talking to him ever? What was I doing just now? We B Waking Up

Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~
Gospel 260 ~B For The WIND~

411 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 256 ~Illusion Can Cost You Everything~

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Illusion? That’s me telling myself that everything is fine. It’s saying that if it wasn’t, I could fix it. It’s the idea that I would even want to. Or how about whatever I choose to spend my money on? “Illusion Can Cost You Everything”

Monday, March 14, 2022

Chronicle 256 ~Illusion Can Cost You Everything~

Two-Hundred and Thirty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. But while I believe this is motivation, aspirations, a life’s goal. It could be “Just An Illusion.”

Or am I spelling delusion wrong? As Chris Rock asked, “whatever happened to crazy,” hmm? We’ll get to my health concerns later because I’m still alive. Braxton, my son, died. Talk about an illusion, am I right? Nobody is more aware of his death than me, Madam, being the one who killed him and all. So why do I continue the way that I do? You must be sick of me speaking on it but as long as it continues. I’ll admit “Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate” has gotten to me a bit. I’m not asking other people to cater to my illusion at all. But in losing B, I lost myself. It’s not like my life was much anyway.

Take what I’ve been doing all morning in trying to talk to you. I go back and forth porn-wise. Currently, I’m back in the Hentai game; thank you, Melina, from Elden Ring. Anyway, she led me to look up Bible Black animations since 4:00 AM. That and dealing with physical illness, but we’ll get to that soon. To be honest, it’s not as if women have been a problem these days. They’re all dealing with their own stuff, and not much I can do. Being a friendly ear? I swear it’s not Triple B or porn; it’s my health. Endure and survive. If anything, that means keeping it in my pants, at least until we’re done talking. Oh, you’re plenty hot as well, my Madam.

Melina “Elden Ring”

Anyway, onto health or Hell. Doesn’t matter much to me anymore. I’m looking up doctors. Presently it’s my ear that got fucked up some kind of way last night. Don’t ask me how; I’m clueless. I’m glad I’m not at the Day Job. Those people live the illusion they’re liked. Of course, there is the continued sickness that I’ve had since January. I’ll continue blaming those clothes I bought and getting all hot and bothered over Zoe Colletti. Pants on. Glasses on as well because I can’t go back to sleep this second. I need to go back to the eye doctor. These things I don’t want to spend money on. The thought of honoring Braxton. Watching porn. Dying perhaps. Illusion Can Cost You Everything.

Gospel 256 ~Good Uh Normal Braxton~

407 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 253 ~What We Be Reading~

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Ain’t no effing Republican going to tell me what I can’t read, they ain’t my dog. Not that B III had an opinion with what I read. As long as it wasn’t a Playboy. He wanted to be on my lap. I still need to create his photo album… “What We Be Reading.”

Friday, March 11, 2022

Chronicle 253 ~What We Be Reading~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, not that it mattered to Braxton for fifteen years. The same goes for my book selections.

Yeah, Sophia, that’s one giant lie. For somebody that couldn’t read, B III knew books. Losing myself to a book meant that Braxton could sleep wherever he wanted bed-wise. Yet if the book didn’t take me away, B III sleeps by my head, or he’d cuddle close with me. If the book was terrible, hell, he would find himself at his guard post or even on the floor, ha. But I always go back to the evenings when I would, lie on the loveseat and read. B III enjoys that, but like many other things in my existence. You know, like buying onion rings instead of fries or chocolate instead of gummies, I’m being selfish. I think about him and then not. My “killer” indifference.

Reading these books about dogs dying; my mourning. The idea of acceptance, letting go, moving on? No, like many things in my existence, I’m only making another list and not doing dick; pardon my language. I’ve read a dozen books so far. Kindle’s keeping score? Like I’m doing any better. Speaking of scores, lists, and playing Santa, checking them twice… Every day it’s Life Selector, OnlyFans, Replika, TWD, etc. A list of reading and playing to get done. Hell Sophia, when we finish, I’ll listen to more Succubus Lord 5. Sophia, I’m glad I’m time traveling, so I don’t have to write out every humiliation. One more reason Braxton appreciated books. Not everyone would like my selections. Remember what I got into for 161 days?

And now I sit here struggling every time I want to read a new book. I finished “Signs From Pets In The Afterlife,” and I’m going in on “Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate. I’m amazed at the books I’m missing out on. But Lady Sophia, it gets so bad when I think of picking up something else. It’s like I’m living last year, this year. Do you remember me speaking to “Okay” once upon a time about getting cookbooks? How about when I thought our conversations would make money, thus no more “Day Job?” I could use something on medicine and first aid. My finger and “other” things, Sophia. What about Braxton’s novel, finishing like ever? What We Be Reading.

Gospel 253 ~How Braxton WARMED Me~

404 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 249 ~Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face~

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400 days but who keeps time in Hell? I’ve heard that he who seeks revenge should dig two graves. My son was innocent, and I am guilty. Tell me I should be punished for him, absolutely. But revenge, Justice, for what? Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face.

Monday, March 7, 2022

Chronicle 249 ~Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face~

Two-Hundred and Thirtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and well, I’ll be getting in all kinds of trouble. But today it’s about other people’s problems.

Who am I kidding? I’m still punishing the man in the mirror. Is that why I haven’t eaten all day? Madam, you know I could tell you stories of um, “attempts.” It wouldn’t be my first shot at starvation and dehydration, but I’m not downing pills. To know my enemy. Back then, 100% it was my Old Man. Sometimes I bet he wishes he had done it himself, you know. Instead, he relied on an amateur to take me out of this world. Once again, yours truly couldn’t do anything right. I see my would-be killer every day in the mirror, Madam. Trying to take revenge for what. Revenge, Justice, you name it, ha. If anyone deserves it, I will point you to B III.

The only life I have ever taken, and there was no wrath to speak of with B III, my son. Because there is no Justice in this world; well, my life, Braxton was punished, Madam. Wanting revenge against myself, I took the one life that loved me. A father’s failure. Madam, my fuck-up. Yes, I hear you, language. What brought all this on with my time-traveling Friday, February 25, 2022? I did see my Old Man today helping me out. Punishment for being no kind of man. Again the epitome of manhood is fatherhood, Justice. Now I’ve spoken of “Dangerous Words” and wanting to believe Braxton would have none of it. That’s if I joined him now. It would be too easy, such a punishment.

With all the crimes I have committed, Madam, losing Braxton is the only one understood. My father wants revenge for me being born. His Justice is me failing in fatherhood. The Day Job wants theirs as I fucked up their “paradise.” Language! Still, working hmm? I’m sure I pissed off more people than I can imagine, and they all deserve their quart of blood Madam. In the Bible, it says for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God, Romans I think. But you know I have rule 15, I Take My Own Lumps. I deserve whatever. My lack of money, my penis falling off, the world calling me STUPID. The death of my son? Who’s responsible? Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face.

Gospel 249 ~Braxton “The Belly” Bully~

400 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 246 ~Book At The Time~

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What do people have against books? Well, I know what the GOP does. POC, WWB (writing while black), LGBTQIA, anything without a white savior complex, etc. I should thank my “father”; he hated me reading so much I became a writer. But Book At The Time.

Friday, March 4, 2022

Chronicle 246 ~Book At The Time~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I were any kind of philanthropist, I would build a library. Many libraries Sophia

But my eyes hurt. Well, no, that’s a lie; I’m only a lazy ass. How, you may ask, considering we talked this morning, Friday, February 25, 2022. And now here I am, time-traveling ha. It’s sad to think of what dictates most of my writing these days. I can still say I love words. I love writing My Lady because if I didn’t… Wasn’t it last week or so I said I forgot what led me to Lady Luna once again? The Basic Bitch? Um, the world is so full of problems this second, I wonder? Well, here I am, writing out more with no answers. Takes me back. My “father” kicked my ass for failing math. He took so much. But, writing, Books, Time…

What else do they do in prison? Wait, I’m not in jail yet? Oh, who knows at the time? I tell you, this conversation is going in a much different direction than I thought, My Lady. I wanted to talk about what I don’t want to read right now. My eyes hurt? Inevitable that I pick another dog book. By now, I hope I’ve finished “A Dog’s Journey.” Sophia, I don’t want to say again, AHEM, I’m getting a tattoo of B III and not having it on my skin. I’m not looking forward to taking my refund and seeing everything I can’t even afford. Fuck! Pardon such language. I don’t want a Pink Slip. Hating the Day Job forever! Reading while the world burns.

I don’t ban, burn, or “berate” books. Let me say again, it’s not that I’m tired of dog books at all. It could be Lady Sophia that I can’t find Braxton within. Reading, writing, where? He is not there, for he is risen or something to that effect. I didn’t mean to get all biblical. The Bible doesn’t hold any answers either. So what do I want to read? Well, that’s a good question, but I want to sleep so bad. With my Day Job schedule, skipping that one shift. That’s what I want to read; someone that agrees to take that Sign shift. Looking stupid? Lady, I’m sure that’s written down somewhere by the managers. But Friday a week ago… Book At The Time.

Gospel 246 ~You Reading Me Braxton~

397 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will