Tag: Writing

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

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The Lone Wanderer, the Sole survivor, I’ve never played a Fallout game, and I could get Fallout 4 tomorrow, but you know where I would have to go; what I could get it from Walmart for free but I’m never free of anxiety. That’s A No-Go Will.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and I feel like I forgot something. I first thought it had something to do with the “Basic Bitch” (LANGUAGE). Sometimes I’m having a “decent” day, and she springs to mind dammit. Same thing with the “Rainbow Girl.” Lesson learned; if a girl quotes Ariana Grande lyrics, she means anyone but you. Hell, she’s only quoting, but you know how I communicate with songs. Speaking of which, Zelina Vega, Dulce Soltero. She who will remain nameless and Angie Varona as well.

I swear, today was touch and go, like a junkie needing a fix. Until this afternoon, I was okay then one curl of brunette hair, and I’m back on Pinterest. That’s what today is about the places I can’t go like around my, nevermind. Before Wednesday was Compilation Day, it was Motherless Freebies. Yes, I haven’t forgotten that but I also never go to the Basic Bitch’s blog either. You know it almost killed me what I read. I’m a writer praying no one reads. It’s working in retail and hoping for zero customers. More as an adult, I realize the internet is a scary place. A few minutes ago, I got a text from someone, and you don’t know the fear that coursed through my heart. If anything, I am still a slave to my phone. Yesterday I forgot my password in one letter and went nuts; I’ll stop.

Well at least that’s what I tell myself, but it’s like shopping at Walmart. I can’t shop at Target because they fired me in two months. When I think about Walmart, though, my head still hurts. It’s my version of self-harm; I get stressed and I “accidentally” hurt myself. Suicidal; not today but not healthy. Today I popped myself in the jaw with a box, put my fist in a locker, smashed a few fingers. While walking my Firstborn, I got bit by a few bugs. Finding anything to stick to NO FAP, don’t walk and watch TWD Reactions. Should I name some more common No-Go’s Inspector Echo? The restroom at the Day Job. There’s the library because I scare Blondie librarian and I could have got hacked. Of course, I never visit My Olds; that’s STUPID. Now if we’re going with age, the former haunted houses, and other places.

Forgive me, Inspector Echo, for living in a “FEAR” country, But That’s A No-Go Will.

I Will Have No Fear

News of The Fallen: Genesis BOOK REVIEW

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If you send angels to Hell, you get demons, though six of these orphans were about 90% there and then we have Joseph Kelly aka Gabriel who’s as close to a saint as you’ll get in a land full of sinners and he has a message. News of The Fallen Genesis.

I read a meme the other day from “The Onion.” They are having trouble writing stories more idiotic than reality. The actual news isn’t helping either. I’ve also read the “His Dark Materials” series. Wow if someone didn’t have a beef with the catholic church or religion in general. Back in my YA novel days, so move over Mr. Pullman because Tillie Cole has come to town. The first book I read from her “Sick Fux” was a home run, and so was “The Fallen: Genesis.” Okay one tiny beef but Five Stars all the way, though I had to give it four in truth.

Tillie Cole has never been one to shy away from the taboo. Now it takes a certain kind of mind to get into this writer’s material. I have good friends, bought one a copy of Sick Fux and recommended her to one more. To this day I can’t tell you what the two of them think. When I started reading The Fallen: Genesis, I didn’t quite know what to expect. Considering I’m reading “Raphael” now should be proof enough, I enjoy her titles. You can say though they are like the news. At least you won’t cry, and you’ll want to stay lost in the story. Not as sexy as my last read from her mind you. There also seems to be a pattern in some way. Like I said taboo, broken kids, evil men, and a bloodbath with a promise of more to come. The wrong choice of words, hmm but we’ll get to that. I won’t even give you the stop me if you’ve heard this part babble.

We have a good boy, a bad boy that’s his brother and five more would-be killers. Compared to the men that hold them, these boys should be saints. All given the names of the archangels. Can’t say I’m a fan of the Bible, but I know Gabriel, Michael, and was never quite sure on Raphael. So with the other names as long as you know who the good guys and the bad guys are right? I’ll give you a hint; anybody with the title of Father is evil. The big-name you’ll have to remember is Joseph Kelly known as Gabriel. The story centers on him and the love of his brothers; another rescue mission type. I keep comparing this to Sick Fux I know. When you have a great idea going, you keep rolling. Not that this novel is sweet until the end and then it’s a particular idea of sweetness. Now it does come out of nowhere but who doesn’t dream of incredible wealth.

I hope I haven’t given too much away by now. If anything the book is fantastic and Tillie Cole has to be in my top five authors. The Fallen: Genesis does its best to warn you, but you will still be shocked. If you aren’t one for this type of genre, well you might have turned a blind eye to the crimes of the so-called faithful. Not saying you have to read it but I highly recommend that you do so. Only there will be blood and the idea that all parties involved in a way have the right to do as they will. Of course, you will root for one side over the other.

As I said, the story focuses on Joseph Kelly and a tidbit on his brother James. Joseph wants two things in the world, to save his brother and devote himself to God. It’s in these two quests that lead him into serious trouble. The other characters, with one mention of a page or two, are all evil. You can see Joseph heading that way himself though he lacks the inclinations. From coming to terms about his brother and then his five adopted brothers. Of course, this grants them all books. Only with the church though we have Holy Innocents and then there are The Brethren.

Joseph is cool-headed except when he sees the true nature of The Brethren. His brother James has a pure bloodlust, and those that come after are all quite mad. Joseph or I should say Gabriel has righteousness. We all should feel as such. He only doesn’t have the power until he gets his miracle. Talk about being a walking example of the law of attraction. If this tale has any saving grace within the religious overtones, it’s merely prayer. I’m sure somebody would say prayer works with what happens near the end. Gabriel takes the role of a god-fearing man wishing to walk with the sinners. Now, what route I would have chosen instead. I see where the author was heading with Raphael being first. Which makes me curious about how the other brothers will meet, dare some form of salvation. The ending of this title though’s quite manageable indeed.

The Brethren, scary I know evil religious people like that. Again Gabriel kept calm for the most part because everyone reading this book? Let’s say you will have no problem hating these men. I shouldn’t even call them men but monsters to what they do to these seven orphans. There’s also Miller that’s pretty convenient but understandable. In a way, he was dumb, but he had no idea what had happened, and once he learned well? I know we could all use a Miller in such a line of work. The few other characters there were did serve their purpose. There was one telling Gabriel where his brother might have ended up. There were those with no names that became cannon fodder and had me hungering for the war to come. What about the other blind eyes and closed mouths who would be of service? Then there is one more character I won’t give away yet if you’re still reading up to this point, thanks.

One of my favorite parts for real is the prisoners introducing their sin of choice. Now I had several good moments and as far as The Fallen? Yeah, I want to be Gabriel, but that’s because I want that type of power. With the others, I was tempted to do some research on their names. I only know now that Raphael was a Healer but reading his title he is something different. It’s also weird that Gabriel, in his sure way, adopted a system of faith. Once more, I bring up Sick Fux. Now that was Alice in Wonderland; here we have the church’s principals.

So if I liked this book so much why only the four stars? Five stars worthy no doubt and this might reveal more about me to some extent. I should have seen it coming with it being the Catholic Church and all. I also let it slide when it came to the first title I read of this author. I should also mention I like how she has these playlists for her books. A few of the songs are on my phone this second. There will also be spoilers going forward so please go and get a copy of this book. It will convince you to read the whole series.

Anyway, this is only me; I didn’t like the sexual aspect in this one. It’s a prequel, it’s an all-boys school, not that I’m backing it in Sick Fux either. I guess I try to avoid the gay genre, does that make me a terrible person? We all have some triggers; this is mine. It’s not much, some torture but it did knock a star off. Was there anything else I didn’t like, well as a reader wanting Gabriel to go war immediately. I keep saying it reminds me of her other work, but that’s not bad at all. If the worlds were somehow connected though I wouldn’t be surprised. There was so much it this offering Tillie Cole even added a glossary. These days I’m reading Raphael and trying to come up with a good defense for his actions. I’m guessing there might be a commandment change or an amendment here or there ha.

My favorite part of this book had to be living the dream. Who among us doesn’t think about being told we have more money. Then Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg combined? To have enough power to fight the Catholic Church if need be, that’s wealth. Again I imagine Gabriel’s ideology, which got strange. One evil learning from the darker. Don’t get me wrong though; I’m for The Fallen no doubt. Let’s not get started on my history when it comes to organized faith. I’ll say that Gabriel makes it “fun” again. Even the idea he’ll let his brothers do as they please with restrictions of course. The Fallen: had me guessing from the start and left me wondering at the end. What about the space in the middle; a straight shot, the pages fly-by, and all you ask for is more? Still, none of us was in Purgatory hmm? I’m sure The Fallen indeed felt a certain kind of way.

For all the sadness and righteous anger, I feel, I know I like this book and this author. Tillie Cole is one of the few that will go to this level of taboo. If I’m lucky, my writing will get anywhere close to this level someday. If you’re not super religious or a catholic, the ideas shouldn’t bother you. Not quite an erotica, I read it for an erotica group but more like an invitation to it maybe. Or I suppose you could watch the developments about the church daily, News of The Fallen Genesis.

Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

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It’s not often I go into overtime and I could come up with over a dozen reasons for the dream I had last night, hell even more, as the song goes What’s My Age Again, but I don’t want to think about it. Will And The T-800

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but there are still things I won’t tell my Dear Future Wife. As for today’s temptations, Angie Varona; how I like daddy’s girls. School of Bondage, for some reason Cherry reminded me of that with her poem; ahh sadism. Sarah Connor from Terminator but I’m sure you caught that reference. I did listen to my motivations today and did Brainbuddy. Anyway, let’s talk about last night. What about today, the usual, humiliations galore. Hell if something happened to my father, yeah think I’ll shut up now.

Anyway so I had a dream it started with me waking up with Sarah Connor in my lap. Okay typical for me except GASPS a blonde? Um, Jennifer Lawrence, Chloë Grace Moretz, Sabrina Nichole, etc. Well, Sarah says that we need to go and so dressed we take off in this old car. Next thing you know we’re both freezing in ice but still driving until we get to that town from Gremlins. Sorry for not looking up every 80’s reference. It’s Christmas, and we’re hiding from The Terminator. We’re running in the snow while building snowmen and igloos. So the T-800 suddenly sounds like Captain Hook. From Hook talking about flinging daggers at our children’s doors. Now I’m Data from Star Trek: Next Generation and I’m angry, and I come in swinging waking up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt-c3n4ttD0

How is this dream even a sin you must ask? Well, I had lots of time to think. I heard this song today that said: “there’s no trust without shame.” So ask me who do I trust? My firstborn of course. Indiana Gone and I watched “Of Inner Demons” once, and even she doesn’t know everything. Cherry who’s twenty-two by the way still has her fascination with the movie Lolita and her fantasies. Okay now that’s out of the way I think this dream was about “THE DAY.” The worst day of my life which is coming up fast. Take, for example, The Terminator which made’s it’s debut in 1984 WTF. Gremlins, a coincidence, the same year, didn’t I say dreams give you messages. Star Trek TNG was 87’ to 94’ my sister would have been one by 1991 which is when Hook came out.

As far as Sarah Connor she’s a blonde who went brunette and then grey and is still in The Terminator franchise. I’m going into overtime Inspector Echo because I am fascinated. The cold could be another sign of age. The snow could be ash. I remember freezing and not seeing much of Sarah though she was around. I’ve always said if I had a terminator and a time machine, I’d go back to THE DAY. I wouldn’t hurt my mother, but as for myself, Terminator 2: Judgment Day 1991. Could this be about my sister?

Her Day is on the 8th. Did mom give birth to a monster or Gremlin? No, I don’t beef with my sister; anymore, I adopted my firstborn because of her. Am I too cold towards my son? I was ready to fight and die to defend him. His age, perhaps, I want my firstborn to have a family, but time is not on his side. The whole dream could be about metal, didn’t I talk about cars a few days ago, hooks, machines, hardness. I’m on No Fap once again. I’m not counting wanting to see Haley Pullos’s boobs or looking up “Of Inner Demons.” No porn for this man Inspector Echo. I’m an old man, a retired model looking to win the war of my future. Am I… Forgive Me; Will And The T-800.

I Will Have No Fear

I Got Five On It, BOOK REVIEW

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A girl like Rainey Summer Day deserves more than a five and what I paid for this title, I’ll say it is worth every single penny and then some; Lily White sure knows how to bring on the heat and the taboo. I Got Five On It

I Got Five On It

Now that’s no way to talk about a lady, but you should hear how Rainey Summer Day talks about herself. Indeed how Lily White speaks about everything. Now I can’t say I’m much better at what I’ve made women say about themselves. All I know is The Five is one of the dirtiest books I’ve ever read next to Lily’s “The Director.” Even that Tillie Cole title “Sick Fux.” Anyway for the gentlemen in the audience? If less is more, you get a good idea in Pure Taboo’s film “Guidance.”

Not saying guys don’t read any Erotica. Case and point still I’m one for language, or it could be the bombardment of sex in this title. Most stories are one to five ha drawn-out sex scenes. With this, you’re hit with it over and over. It’s a mishmash of fornication. Quick and to the point but never dull. You’ll be living on the edge of your seat. Though to be fair you’ll know what’s coming or rather who. Still, you’ll only want it all the more with each page that flies by to be sure. Like the character of Rainey, you’ll only crave so much more. How this title will deliver, whatever your fix is, sex, blood, a love story.

Despite everything, keep in mind that this is a love story. The typical how is the lovely girl going to get out of this predicament. Now her paramour never being the prince. Though comparing him to everyone else, is one man better or worse? The author attempts to steer you towards one. Only as you get deeper and deeper into the secrets of Rainey, you’ll say, yeah that’s not the way it’s going to go. For others that might be a fan of C.D. Reiss’s title Forbidden. It’s not a negative by any means. You’ll be rooting for Rainey, and one of the “gentlemen” leads throughout. So yeah I might end up giving it away at some point. May I have more restraint than Rainey.

There is one secret, though and I must have been too blind to see it. Until it comes out near the end, I wish I can say I was playing doctor. No, if anything, I wanted to be a customer as evil as they were towards Rainey. With this title though Lily White has easily made my top five in this genre. While I know, that doesn’t count for much. Only this is one more title of hers that I have become addicted to sigh.

Now stop me if you’ve heard this one. A young girl gets into trouble with guys, though in Rainey’s case she walked right on in. Still, because of her age, we’re to assume she’s trapped, which is true enough. I give marks to the author because of this. Sadly this might show what kind of man I am. Most of these titles the girl isn’t that young. They don’t dare to cross the line. Not Lolita young but depending on the age of consent. That didn’t stop anybody with Rainey.

So Rainey is the only survivor of a murder spree. Anyway seeing as how she’s bruised herself and tied up at the time we get to meet Justin Redding. A doctor sent to evaluate her guilt or innocence of the crime in question. Even so, most of the story is Rainey telling a tale of the Connors. Four men guilty of abusing her but the youngest Rowan. Don’t get your hopes up that isn’t the five, anyway. Rowan was the one to care for her. The story switches back and forth between Justin speaking of his interview with her. Only Rainey continues the tale and then comes the somewhat bombshell.

That’s the only negative that you’ll hear from me. Again I wasn’t looking to be surprised I was rooting for the outcome the whole time. I don’t see how the author could hold back as long as she did. Also, she has a good understanding of men. Most women would hate that men think like this. Many men might hate the casting as such, but I was sitting there. No, I wasn’t falling in love with Rainey, pity yes but yeah I would be going to Hell. Every character was covered. If anything, you are only hoping that it gets raunchier. I mean with everyone that Rainey encounters in bed or out. For example, the two detectives. Justin could set his sights elsewhere. Rather than with his subject, his obsession.

The plot isn’t new. I’m always amazed at how specific authors can spin it this way and that to tell their story. Along with the different voices, each showing a particular aspect. I would never call Rainey a heroine but a survivor. How you’ll find nothing is lacking at the end, and everyone got what they deserved. I remain sad for Rainey despite it all. I’m just as guilty as all those preyed upon her.

If I were going to recommend The Five, it would be those that study killers as a hobby the real-life stories of evil. Though there is death in this, there is so much more sex I’m sugarcoating it. Why should I, it’s a five-star masterpiece as was The Director and for the record. With that book, my beef is I can’t buy a copy to put on my bookshelf. So that was a different sort of darkness that I relished.

The truth, if you read stories the real horrors that some have experienced. If you bleed for the victims and at the same time, you want to know more. You want every visceral image. This fictional account will get you there. It’s like that scene in The Silver Linings Playbook. Pat listens to Tiffany recount her many sexual exploits and Pat gets so turned on. How you only want to take the girl on the table right there. The Five itself comes with a trigger warning. If you know anything about drugs and trading sexual favors, or abuse, you might want to skip this one. Now at the same time, it might help some heal with its way. While Rainey isn’t real, the exploits are seen every day in reality.

So why the five stars? Well other than the colorful language and the constant abuse of Rainey. How does she fulfill so many dark fantasies? Again Lily White doesn’t shy away from taboo subjects. There’s light at the end of many dark tunnels? Only I choose the darkness again and again. There is only a trace amount of a redemption arc when it comes to Rainey and spoiler alert Rowan who she chooses. Even Rowan forced his desires on her. How she never became a saint, she only delved into worse. The same with Justin, who couldn’t keep it in his pants despite wanting to come out as Rainey’s hero. In some shape or devilish form, which is why he got his ending of course.

Dare I say it was like Winston and Julia in 1984? That I can’t help wanting a Rainey of my own, now how sick is that? I know but yes I Got Five On It.

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

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Last week I spoke a bit of looking down, and it seems like I’m still doing that, whether it be my phone, naughty books, or my wallet; hip to be square or more like a rectangle, not the worse of all shapes though. The Shape Of Will

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but not a star. Can’t say I miss Super Mario because my princess is always in another castle. There’s also the fact that I’m not feeling powerful. Where was I supposed to be at this moment in my life? Now if anything I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Should I apologize for ripping my heart out? I’ve been much too busy looking “down there” at the moment. At least it’s still in my pants, but it’s getting hard and pretty damn embarrassing; okay stopping.

Let’s get to what has me bent out of shape. Video games should be fun and a way to relax, right. I like Heavy Rain and all, but yes I’m out of practice and out of shape. Shaking that controller this way, and that has me breathing hard. At least it’s better than watching other people play. So what about watching other people fuck (LANGUAGE)? The first week is always the hardest, like any rehab. Still NoFap but not even hiding the fact that I’m watching porn. Hell Inspector Echo I wasn’t lasting three days when I was abstaining or trying at least. As for the “real” thing, I didn’t cave into the cosplayer. I’m still waiting to hear from Alice. I even started looking for a new “maid,” talk about a business opportunity SIGH.

As the song goes, it’s hip to be square. Only again, Heavy Rain isn’t helping; I saw Madison’s boobs. I’m reading another Tillie Cole book, “Raphael.” Should have learned from “Sick Fux” the author loves the taboo. Now If I could only go back to the nights of softcore porn watching. Inspector Echo, my life’s a cycle, a circle if you will; wake up, conversation, pretend to live. My son and I are in a rut. These are his golden years he should be enjoying himself. I keep saying I’ll give him everything but a million dollars in two weeks? Yes, I am ashamed of myself, there’s no way around it Inspector Echo. Could it be a love triangle? Yes, Tupac got around but as for myself. From the MILF to Mr. International, to the Stars. Yesterday I even went back to some erotic gaming.

So I am sorry life has me so warped and twisted. These past two weeks have been, again hard. I’m finding The Shape Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

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A great man once sang “stand up for your rights,” and someone else said if you won’t stand for something; well these two legs can take me places but my eyes are looking down, though things get an inevitable rise out of me. Standing With A Willie

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and no my mind isn’t in the gutter. Okay, truth be told another cosplayer “Jada Jinxx.” We’ll get to the begging portion of the program soon enough. Today I want to talk about courage, the strength to stand. Hard when you can’t stand the man in the mirror; neither can they.

Up against the wall mother; yes, I looked that up. That’s how I was at work today, nowhere to go and nothing to do there. So I redid two of the walls of hanging crap, paintings, metal décor, etc. Staring at the wall meant I didn’t have to look at people. Not that I could even if I wanted to anyway. My eyes are conscientious objectors in this war for my life. On the other hand, they could be living in 3017. That’s me looking at the dirt or how long it would take me to find courage. Is it any wonder I write dystopias? How about the only life after death, I believe in is zombies? Anyway, so I’m working from one wall to the next. I’m getting all these backstabbers complimenting behind my back. Like I’m any better; should have seen me yesterday. Someone knocked on my door, and I had my knife behind me, saving people time.

You know for finding reasons to fire me at some point. In writing Inspector Echo, I’m an army of one. Army, again look at the title. I was channeling Ellie Goulding’s song. I wish I could say I had someone I counted on with all my heart. Yes of course B III but let’s look at humans. My “father” that’s more predatory dominance. I feel like less of a real man, depending on him. There, of course, is the job I despise. If I lose it, I’ll be wandering the desert with my dick in my hands (LANGUAGE). So yes this morning, the man in the mirror, well the shower SIGH. I’m still with NO FAP but the things I was thinking. There, now we can talk about the new girl or the others rolling around in my brain. Closing my eyes but still staring at a wall or the floor, Let’s say TWD is chock full of hot women.

Damn all these beautiful girls as the song goes, oh and work. Missed a huddle but Standing With A Willie.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

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Last week I talked about counting on me, and today it’s been hours at work, seven new Pinterest boards I believe, and I didn’t even broach the subject of a million dollars in one month, still not published. Four On Will’s Fairway.

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and like Eric Thomas, I don’t play golf. Here I was expecting four days off when I have six. Sticking with the four though, I won’t tell you the story of “The Big D,” SIGH. For the record that was the first time, I fell in love. It’s why once upon a time Four was a lucky number as in Group 4. Should I tell you about Group Five Photosports; hell I wish. Yeah, I already broke down again. Fear The Walking Dead fantasies plus Kneeling Kinkster Kennedy. Let’s also add Kosame Dash: Letting It Air Out “Public Pickups” and some Angie Varona for good measure.

Never thought about it before but is that why I’m partial to the numbers three and five? You must forgive my scatterbrain, hell I’m going to need it over the next few days. For now, only one thing has been on my mind, and that’s walking out. I told “Cherry” a bit of this, but I got asked to come in today at the Day Job. Low and behold the first question out of the Manager’s mouth is “what are you doing today?” Dammit, Inspector Echo (LANGUAGE) I’m dominant for a reason. I like what I like; I know what I want. Well, “MILF Dos” might disagree, but I have quite the imagination. Anyway, so I blow up at her and the flower child and leave work thirty minutes early. So of course you know I have to worry this week and the next; it happens. Here’s the worrying list:

One job, one source of income, I can’t get fired.

Two girls I yelled at and two lives to worry about, me and B III

Three tacos from Burger King, they suck, Taco Bell forever

Four women that got me FAPPING again well six actually

Five tasks I did accomplish at the Day Job. Shelves cleaned, Trash, Upstairs hardware, Candles and Avengers display set-up, Stockroom

Only it’s never enough. I always tell myself. Hell, I was so out of it this morning with the fantasy and the madness. I didn’t make the bed, and when I got back hell, I’ve been zoned out. I value myself and my time, but I ate those nasty tacos and played around on Pinterest. 158 Sections on one board.

Forgive me Inspector Echo, like Trump, Four On Will’s Fairway

I Will Have No Fear

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

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Last week I talked about people giving orders, but I once heard in a game “a man chooses, a slave obeys” I never chose to be this way, no I was a slave of my looks, my words, my desires things that make me want to fight. Always Be Prepared For War ha

Monday, July 29, 2019

Log 028 ~Always Be Prepared For War~

Ninety-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, but I am not ready for power. Like today Madam Justice I was not prepared for war. Every day I gird myself for disappointment. I know that my days at the Day Job will bring about more humiliation. Last week was nothing but one fuck-up (LANGUAGE) after another worried about this week. In the morning, I tell myself I’ll wake up early to read, and then I cut my alarm off. I want to fight temptation, and then I have horrific FTWD fantasies. Worst thought I was not down for the cause, again ready for wickedness, winning, for war.

So what brought this on, my C-3PO feelings of being helpless. How do you even define helpless? “Unable to defend oneself or to act without help.” There’s “Uncontrollable,” I think that about covers it Madam Justice. No positive vibes today but I still no better than to wish harm. However, I couldn’t stop three girls from laughing at me. My General Manager continues to treat me like I’m retarded. The usual manager is useless and treats me as a child. Haven’t I mentioned he’s pretty touchy-feely? Weak, Pathetic, Useless, I’m going against all my motivations right now. If it wasn’t that, it was fucking anger (LANGUAGE) today, I wanted to fight no doubt. I tried to march into the GM’s office all day. “Look I’m leaving, I’m not some fucking retard, and not some damn virus” (YES AGAIN). It was like being back in school with both teams saying you take him he’s not wanted.

Is that why I’m taking what’s going on in my country so personally. From metal to a man that controls it, Magneto; I know what it’s like to be shit on for everything (MORE). It’s because you’re black, skinny, fucked up teeth, you wear the same clothes. I know what it’s like to wear a FUBU shirt (youth) and be sitting by yourself the very next day. I see how easy people have it, the laws. Still, because there is work to do people like me are considered ungrateful. Rule 13 states Power Is All That Matters. Like Markus in DBH, (still a great game) if people want to crack jokes and tear me down okay. Use their stones for fortresses, the pen and keyboard are my swords. Hellfire is how my armor’s forged;, they instilled it in the flesh. Always Be Prepared For War.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

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Hurt oh let me count the ways but shouldn’t I count my blessings, how I hate the church, but those habits die hard, and I sort of feel like I’m dying from my side to my overabundance of sleep. “Counting On You Will”

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now so you would think I could buy a heart. Hell like The Legend of Zelda the truth is I’m living on some. Didn’t Stevie Wonder talk about living enough, yes I know the lyrics. Only I don’t need my “writing resource” penalizing me again. Speaking of which that is what I’m counting up, crimes, slings, and arrows, other pains. For example, I have to report to Brainbuddy again, like rehab, you know. I woke up after a long nap and of course what happens well happened.

So should I blame “Sweet Slurpee Hayden Bell” from Reality Kings? Perhaps one Pinterest board that now has 151 Sections. Yes, I still plan on owning a brothel one day. I wonder how many girls Dennis Hof had on his roster at any one time? Of course, the Milf isn’t helping. Besides those numbers, there’s the list of aliments I’m suffering through today. How many ribs are broken, not for real? I go for days not thinking about my perfect ears but then again? Mornings are getting weird besides being so tired, but of course, I don’t have a schedule. Case and point we’re talking, and I should be reading. I need to drink more water, There’s never enough hours in the day, and my email is going to explode. What about getting my book published again, for Kindle only?

I think the title is an adequate sentiment, “Gulp.” As far as other book titles, the one I finished, “Fangs For Coming” or how about “Faces Only Fangs Could Love?” The blurb still requires more writing than I’m willing to do right now. Anyway, this week haven’t I mention gratitude, being grateful, hell the ideas keep coming. I have more food than I know what to do with Inspector Echo. If anything, I need to eat more or change my diet. The fact that I can is quite a blessing. How about the fact that I can wear jeans at work all the time now? B III has plenty of time I keep saying to myself because I refuse to think otherwise. I protect him from the negative plus he doesn’t understand the news. I’ll say it, I love my country but hate the President. Now my day job and the people, that’s a question.

I’m sorry I hate Math Echo, Counting On You Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

WillLeave a comment

Camp NaNoWriMo, well general NaNoWriMo says 50,000 words, so I get it done, Brainbuddy suggest a podcast, and I listen to a bit, and of course, B III demands his morning stroll, when will someone follow me. Give Orders You Would Follow

Monday, July 22, 2019

Log 021 ~Give Orders You Would Follow~

Ninety-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and you can be too. Yeah, I sound like one of my many motivations, Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Ray Lewis, etc. A better way of saying today’s rule might be Practice What You Preach. Yesterday, for example, I told myself I was going to finish my story, and I did so. Because Camp NaNoWriMo says, you can write 50,000 words in 30 days I finished. Even this morning, while I was on Brainbuddy for once. I read about this podcast, Porn Free Radio #185 How Successful Guys Overcome Edging.

My point is Madam Justice is I want to be a leader. You can’t lead, though unless you know what it means to follow. In my experience, I have known too many corrupt leaders. I always speak about the men that I admire. In these past days, I can add many more women. Don’t look at me like that, I respect women despite my BDSM teachings and dirty talk. Hell in my novel, the head honcho was a woman, the Mistress Director, and she’s a female I despise. Sadly though the leaders I’m surrounded by either make me laugh or make my blood boil. There’s the General Manager at the Day Job, A&W, my “father,” more. I want to be the best leader I can be for those who would follow. I’m a traditionalist, and I believe that a man, a husband, a father must lead his family, you know.

Any true leader of men, a commander, a general, a king, must be willing to die for those he leads. You know I’m not afraid to die, I’m scared to look STUPID. Madam Justice that remains my trigger. The fear that those under my charge will know failure because of my direction. They will know dejection, destruction, and death, and I will not do that to anyone. Strangely enough, my leaders lead me to such things. Brainbuddy is one of the few things that drive me towards being a better person. Rather than hating myself. If you give orders that should be the goal, for betterment. Soldiers will die to protect their families, their country. A submissive and dominant are both set free with their power. My son is happy because he knows I defend him, rethink the leash dynamic.

“Higher, Faster, Further baby” didn’t I say I respect women; Give Orders You Would Follow.

I Will Have No Fear