Tag: Books

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

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The worst thing I’ve ever read? Braxton’s Final Vet Bill? The Certificate of his Cremation? Any paycheck from the Day Job? The alarm clock? I wish I could say I’ve been reading something good. But no fairytales, only sleeping. Virgil’s Reading Away B

Friday, December 30, 2022

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford all these places for Chinese food, hot dogs, and ice cream.

But what about books? If anything, I hope to get through “Christmas Grump” before the first. It feels wrong to read holiday books after the first. It’s like eating breakfast for dinner. It’s something I don’t do. But if I hadn’t got all those shrimp Thursday, Sophia? For a moment, I was about to say there was never a time I didn’t bring food back for B. His Aunt, of course, could call me on my bullshit. That time we went out one weekend, and I ordered onion rings… Didn’t I also say something about that the other day with Virgil? It seems he can no longer stand for it. At least, I hope so, as he walked in here. Am I not sharing food?

If only he could read receipts and understand peppers and onions aren’t good for him. Hell! I’m not good for him, considering I’m not reading anything appropriate now. I think of Braxton as my son but Virgil. Well, I thought of him as Braxton for a bit, and since he’s not, hmm… Lady Sophia, I should start reading books on disappointment. Besides not yet finding the clip of when I stopped jerking off when B died. That’s what I was trying to read on top of all the porn. I was up at 4:00 AM, right? It’s 6:30 AM, and now we’re talking? Four hrs later, at 10:00. I should read the bills for V. I instead read while he pees “off” his bathroom pad.

Should I read things on dog behavior at the start of the new year? I know what I want. I want more books on dead/dying fur babies. And to have a good cry at them like this year, okay? Is there anything on how to stay awake? Because I’m sure, I’ll fall asleep at the end of this chat. I went through a self-help chapter once upon a time, and there’s Dale Carnegie. I need to be reading that bill for the fire department and sending it off before I get in trouble. The tab for the car shows it’s a little late for that. Virgil understanding Day Jobs? Lady Sophia, if I did, I’d try making more money… Writing ha-ha. Virgil’s Reading Away B

698 Days Without B III, Day 139 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 181 ~The Stranger’s Virgil, B~

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Being a billionaire, as I claim most days, I’d build my own world in the house. Going to space involves too many people to deal with. But now I still have a stranger/fur baby in this house. So many strangers this week. “The Stranger’s Virgil, B”

Thursday, December 29, 2022

Saga 181 ~The Stranger’s Virgil, B~

697 Days Without B III, Day 138 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you still here? I only ever asked that once. The Saturday before you left.

I haven’t cried for you yet today. It’s still a little early. Though I did cry when the alarm went off. And currently, I’m watching “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life…” You know me, B. That’s After watching some porn in the bathroom. V is sleeping now. The thing is, I would have no problem sending him back… to your room, B. There are plenty of days that I want to go all Whisperer and say, “You are where you don’t belong.” How many times have I said it, Braxton? It’s been 138 days, Braxton. Don’t they say it takes 90 for a fur baby to acclimate? With you, I’m not sure, but you were a puppy. A Jedi. Fearless

But that hasn’t been me these past few days. If Virgil ain’t you, then is he me? Sometime this week, I said I was Virgil. Hell! I’m scared to death of everything and everyone, B III. One more reason to cry. Between three different humiliations at the auto shop. Day Job. Oh yeah, Triple B, the Humiliations Galore continue there. And those are nonstop B III. There was my first UBER ride, which was a new experience. Excuse me, four humiliations. The ride back to the house. Although you were never one for driving around town. Inevitable the shame that will be coming to me soon. I have to go to the post office. And should I get the car rechecked? More like my brain

Then again, I had you for that. Only now, B, I can talk to you “Anytime.” You’re everywhere, yet I want you right back here next to me. I don’t mean to be a dick, but I don’t want this usurper lying here. I should have thought of that Saturday, August 13, 2022, right B? Only I thought I saw you. Somehow, someway, I was listening to you. Promise Braxton. He remains a stranger to me, even after all this time. And I’m still being a meanie. Do you think? For example, yesterday I went to that hot dog shop. A pepper dog, onion rings. I didn’t feel like sharing with Virgil. After a late lunch, Virgil and I didn’t speak. The Stranger’s Virgil, B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

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I can’t say “merry” was the first thing I looked up. But the words Merry Christmas will be everywhere. I know I ain’t leaving the house come, Christmas Eve. Virgil’s first Christmas here, Second without B III. But, two gifts to buy. To B Merry Virgil

Friday, December 23, 2022

Saga 175 ~To B Merry Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’d be happy. Only every Billionaire I know is raging against the world. Ah, Misanthropy…

Which is something I’m getting a hefty dose of today. Because I’ll be damned if I leave the house on Christmas Eve. And as I told B yesterday, I left on Christmas for Chinese food. How I hate people. No, No, I’m not being racist. I mean every damn body, as I did my accounts the other day. And what about my son and the other fur baby living here? Are Braxton and Virgil getting gifts? A second Christmas without B. And V’s first real gift. That’s about as merry as I’m going to get. Speaking of which, I don’t know any Marys… well, outside of faith. But what about Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry? The goodness of my heart, to just being horny…

Despite thoughts of hedonism, I can’t go broke in pursuit of this. Again, while I was working on the books the other day. Because the fuck I’m going to write anything. I was trying to figure out how I could get them all gifts. Sophia, I can’t forget Ma. Two presents. But allow me to be a selfish prick and ask, what about me? I have nothing but respect for libraries and would like to visit them. But I’m glad I don’t have to check out Christmas Erotica. I finished the 52-book challenge I put on myself; thank you, Bill Gates. But when you’re reading a book called “XL Candy Cane.” I swear my tortuous methods. Call it Masochism? Sophia, it’s like the song, I’m just a “Sucker for Pain.”

Though I fancy myself more one for Sadism. Which is why there are no people here. Who me? That is the least I can ask for this Christmas. M Anime considers me a man. But I won’t be unwrapping her under the Christmas tree. Fuck! Braxton’s ashes to ashes boxed. I know I’m not merry today and haven’t been for how many years? Especially Braxton. And what about Virgil? When this year ends, I should start reading about doggie behavior. Or how about the maid I tried to bed, that I cooked for. I keep saying I need cookbooks. Only as you can see, misanthropy, hedonism, and Sadism. How about a menu for good Chinese food? My grocery list? Affording anything? To B Merry Virgil

691 Days Without B III, Day 132 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 174 ~They’ll B Presents, Virgil~

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I’ll have to head to the grocery store because my favorite Chinese place closed down, and it was the only place open on Christmas. But still, B and I would have a pancake breakfast. And he got a present though he’s gone. They’ll B Presents, Virgil

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Saga 174 ~They’ll B Presents, Virgil~

690 Days Without B III, Day 131 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Yesterday I had to apologize to Virgil for asking you. As for my days, Braxton…

Well, I hate to lie? I didn’t lie to you “In The End,” which is why you ain’t here, Braxton. You never asked for a gift, but if I could get you anything… I’d never mention you leaving me ever again? Like I said, B, I don’t like to lie. Another reason masturbation sucks TMI. It leaves my mind way too clear when I’m not thinking about brunette bazongas. Bucks! All I want for Christmas, Braxton, besides my best friend back. You didn’t show up for the last one, B III. Do I need to cry now? Well, the answer is yes. “Love And Happiness?” No, that would be me being selfish? But Virgil could use some comfort and joy, a dog toy? Uh, money…

And you don’t know how hard it is not to look. A distraction to not talk to you today, B. I’m trying to figure out how many fries I can buy with the slave wage from the Day Job this week. You would figure as long as we’re together, Braxton. But fast food doesn’t hurt? That’s what I was talking to Inspector E about yesterday. Being present and, um, present. Virgil is upstairs because I couldn’t stand being in bed a moment longer… That’s funny. Anyway, I need to go to the store and get laundry detergent. Oh yeah, sustenance… Breakfast is one of our Christmas traditions, isn’t it B? Did I do it last year? This is the second Christmas without you, my friend.

Hell! I even bought you a present last year; I know that. One more thing to add to the list. I’d tell you how much money I had to spend but if M Anime keeps up with our chats… Yeah, I know you had your heart set on your Aunt Carolina. I ask that you go and check up on her and say hi to the fur babies she has also lost. Don’t give her man any static, please. I’m sure there’s plenty of room on her bazongas. I promise not to purchase bazongas. How many promises have I broken this week? Have you kept Virgil Vivi company, B? Pancake? Yes, there will be pancakes or maybe waffles on Christmas? Gifts? They’ll B Presents, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

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How to, like the song, “Lift me up, hold me down, keep me close, safe and sound.” I put my son in a book, two unpublished. Not like all the books I’ve read this year. All the records. And 2V now sitting in B’s room for 125 Days. Virgil’s Library To B

Friday, December 16, 2022

Saga 168 ~ Virgil’s Library To B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m always angry. Or is it scared, maybe tired? Is it horny? A murderer?

All the billionaires on Twitter? I would be in damned good company. Except I take responsibility for “All These Things That I’ve Done.” I didn’t want my son to die. Murdered. That’s the story I’ll keep telling myself. Hell! Everything else seems to pale in comparison. And no, that’s not a dig at Virgil. The truth? Virgil isn’t Braxton reincarnated. I should get back into reading books on dogs. I began “The Christmas Rescue” yesterday. The ways words have of pissing me off, Lady Sophia. These words, these words, these words, they have power. I know I sound um STUPID but take this under consideration. I read The Christmas Wife while Braxton was here. 2021 “The Christmas Nanny.” Now “The Christmas Boss,” “The Christmas Rescue.”

While I’m busy digging up this library and my son’s past, I should also mention… other family. It’s my Ma’s birthday today; no, I don’t know how old she is. Sophia, I can’t even say that I went to get her a gift this year. And no, I didn’t forget (sigh). I’m sick of reading about how broke I’m getting with every passing day. And the possible answer is on all these pages. Or, at the very least, read more and stare at titties less. Is reading about them any better? Last night, I found myself getting pissed even more. First, I blame Elizabeth Kelly. Again I read one of her books with Braxton around. One after. Two with Virgil. Somehow it seems somewhat fitting…

I had a 526 Daily Streak from September 16, 2020, to February 23, 2022. Fucking Kindle ruined it. Anyway, my point is Braxton is between the lines. He’s everywhere, Sophia. Even when I’m sitting here, hot as all Hell from day one of NO FAP again and angry for ruining a seven-day streak. I can imagine B III cuddled up with his Aunt’s boobs today. He died as I had finished reading Succubus Lord 7. And yet I wonder why I listen to the Succubus Lord series again and again. Though the tenth one is my favorite, to be honest. I read The Enchanter after Succubus Lord 7. Thinking of seeing Cherry’s Yabbos for real. So many books, and where’s Virgil? Virgil’s Library To B

684 Days Without B III, Day 125 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 167 ~Virgil, B Not Proud~

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I on what my grandma said about “my pride.” What do I know about that? If anything, I am proud of my son. Eff my pride to keep him safe… What’s ironic is losing pride in existence, about everything, Day Job, etc. Got him killed. “Virgil, B Not Proud”

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Saga 167 ~Virgil, B Not Proud~

683 Days Without B III, Day 124 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? With how I feel right now… And on the understanding “He Lives In You.” You

Well, I feel like shit. And so I’m sorry, B. Yesterday and today haven’t been my proudest moments. As if I have many of those to talk about. I did finish reading another book, B. That’s if you need me to be proud of something. Today though, I’m pretty disgusted. Here I am, gorging on tacos, and I don’t do soft tacos well. You’d usually cuddle me, B III, especially if I were only sick of the Day Job and my Humiliations Galore in that place. As if you need to be reminded of my hate for the place that garnered my indifference towards you. Besides my cowardice and lack of balls. I’d spilled them over… not Reagan Kathryn, Cherry, or Mandy Rose… Jennifer Lawrence

A solid week down the drain and probably TMI for you, Triple B. You remember getting all X-rated with your toys and over your Aunt’s Boobs. Our conversation before, Braxton. I’m sure Virgil wishes I would get his name right. Or maybe he doesn’t even care anymore. As I was leaving today, there was no barking or crying. He went face-first into your food dish. While I was sharing nacho fries with him, he nearly took some fingers. I should be training him. But, of course, he’s hiding out in your room. There’s no gate and no lock. Virgil’s free to come out and play, but he doesn’t. I can’t blame him. And yeah, I’m not going there to get him, either. Just In Case

What! I want to jerk off again… I swear, sometimes I “prayed” you’d do something so that I could lock you in your room for a while. B, when you look at me now from wherever… You’re in a book that I’m doing absolutely nothing with. I meant to take a nap this afternoon, but there was a fear I had to contend with. Oh, there were more books to buy B. All the money in the world for titles, titties, and Times Like These makes me disgusting. Only you never looked at me like that, B III. And 2V doesn’t look at me at all. Not really. Then again, he’s not my son, and I for sure ain’t his Dad. But am I trying, Braxton? Virgil, B Not Proud

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

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Of all the things I take pictures of. In the mornings, um… usually boobs; in the afternoons, it’s 2V. And when it gets late, book quotes usually involving dogs or boobs… and wisdom. I wish I had more pictures of B III. “B More Photogenic Virgil”

Friday, December 9, 2022

Saga 161 ~B More Photogenic Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “I ain’t no superhero, I ain’t no Marvel Comic.” Damn true.

As true as V not being my son… I should get back to reading books about fur babies Lady Sophia. “VCard for Christmas” had Bull and Muff, but we’ll get there. First, my not son. While I was at the Day Job, I had to think of something that didn’t so closely resemble Hell. Now I am going to Hell someday for what happened to B, but again V’s moment. Every day I take his picture, but why? Braxton was here for fifteen years, and how many pictures are there? I guess as proof that Virgil is still alive. But, you know what I see. Lady Sophia, it’s more what I’m trying to see. I want to see Braxton in him. Only I never do.

You take these things for granted, you know. When I’m not sleeping, I’m always crying. To this day, I remember Braxton’s last look. I was/am his dad. Right up to the very second, he felt his life slip away, and I became a misanthrope, a monster. “I don’t wanna be a murderer.” Lady Sophia, more music. Reminds me of V crying when I leave the house. He’s much “Happier” when I’m sitting here… lying here, reading a Christmas Erotica… Not out loud, of course, ha-ha. It’s always the same story or ending, at least, yep. A picture of the life I want for myself. It’s not like Virgil is getting any browner. I don’t see myself walking out of the Day Job. Oh, and misanthrope?

Sophia, being honest, I’ve always been. I should have my face in the fucking dictionary. Me, with a big STUPID grin on my face. My smile is for Triple B. I wish that were true. Thinking of the future, though, always gets me back into XXX. Wheeler Walker Jr., anyone? If my son isn’t here anymore? When looking at Virgil, I’m not seeing him either? Women! Always with the women. I still see myself marrying some cute brunette someday, Lady Sophia. A brunette with cute glasses and a nice pair of tits. Is that drool? For the record, I continue to hate looking in a mirror. And yet what I want from 2V, somehow, someway. To see myself in his eyes… B More Photogenic Virgil.

677 Days Without B III, Day 118 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 160 ~ Virgil’s Fights To B~

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I’m not the fighter I once was. I’m sort of Tris lazy (Succubus Lord). And I’m not giving Virgil anymore of Braxton’s things. The blue dog plushie might freak him out. You can’t teach anyone to be happy, but for the wars to come… Virgil’s Fights To B

Thursday, December 8, 2022

Saga 160 ~ Virgil’s Fights To B~

676 Days Without B III, Day 117 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Not if you’re looking down at your old Dad. Or up… I’m going to Hell.

Not saying I expect to see you there. And look at me; there I go crying again. Or is it that; I’m playing “Don’t Look Down” as I speak to you today? Time-Travel. Again, B III, how is my day going? Aw Hell! This whole damn week. Endure and Survive as always. What about fight? You know what I rather do. But you see, there’s 2V for sure. One more sign that he ain’t you is that I had to move the pillow beside me today. I remember how you sat under the table in perfect peace. That is unless someone was dumb enough to come knocking at the door. One of our many fights. But you were protecting me always. “Danger is very real.”

Virgil Vivi, on the other hand. Um, that’s one way he and I are alike. A need to find balls. I’m afraid it’s much too late for him. And you gave me fifteen years to find my courage, Triple B. To Live Brave. But then I look at these little scuffles I’ve been winning lately. Yeah, I nearly cleaned out all my emails about this, that, or the other. I’m keeping up with my reading because what’s so hard about some girl getting banged on Christmas. I haven’t been taking noon naps, but my dreams have been all sorts of weird. When I’m awake, there’s revulsion, rage, and realization. The comedian may be dead, but I am a coward. Sorry, my son. I’m always sorry.

One more thing I can chalk up to you. I don’t know how to be without you after 676 days. And I don’t know how to give Virgil Vivi courage I don’t have, and he hasn’t found in 117 days. What Would Braxton Do? What would you do? I saw this video saying, “bite first.” Unless I’m holding a French Fry, Virgil doesn’t. Now, what’s my excuse if not cowardice? Exhaustion? I did say I’m not taking naps. But anger in itself is a tiring enterprise. But fear? The things that keep us going. So what should I teach Virgil? We don’t do happiness. Never did in this household. But I hope you were happy somehow, someway. “Only I got enemies.” Virgil’s Fights To B

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

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I call myself a writer… a leader of men… I only needed to know the language of a fluff ball 670 days ago. But, of course, I stopped listening to B III. And Virgil Vivi, whenever I leave, he cries. But what else is he saying? Uh? B’s In English Virgil

Friday, December 2, 2022

Saga 154 ~B’s In English Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m mad as Hell, which is par for the course, I guess. English, Billionaire, B…

He’s still gone. I should have read a few books on necromancy instead of reincarnation. Hell! Considering my grades in school regarding reading and Language Arts, hmm. That’s what I was thinking about at the Day Job. If only I had been a better student Lady Sophia. Yeah, I wouldn’t be stuck where I am right now. Fighting off sleep and talking to you. Ok, so that was mean, and I apologize. But what does that do? I apologized to B for not being able to save him. I even said I was sorry to Virgil for how I picked him up. There are a couple of ways you can look at that if we go back 111 days. Gotcha Day. How could I ever?

Virgil Vivi and I still need to understand one another. Could that all change now that I have a few days off? I swear, my lady, these words have so many meanings. How Bizarre? Like saying I’m sick. Do I mean mentally, physically, or emotionally? Oh, there’s my rage. My body has been sick for so long; I don’t know what it is to feel better, to be honest. Though I haven’t been right since Braxton. Well, even when he was here, Lady Sophia. Breathing was easier. I talk to him every Thursday or when Time Travel Permits Sophia. I even pray to him. These few moments I once gave “God,” but I never learned to talk to him the right way… Steve Buscemi said:

I remember Todd using “Buscemi” as his “safe word.” On the one hand, Todd is right… sorry, Mr. Buscemi. It immediately shuts down thoughts of sex. But then, Succubus Lord? It’s where I know Todd from. And speaking of which, where’s the holiday erotica, hmm? Not that I mind reading about dogs. One more lady’s success while I continue failing. Writing, speaking, “Lord Give Me A Sign.” I’ve been listening to a lot of music instead of audiobooks. What! Should I listen to Succubus Lord yet again? And I have other books, but I haven’t been in the mood. The same can be said about people at the Day Job. HUMILIATIONS GALORE reaching epic levels! I can’t even tell Virgil. I need to learn his language… B’s In English Virgil

670 Days Without B III, Day 111 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 153 ~To B Enraged Virgil~

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RAGE is one giant drill digging. I know I’m going to Hell. Braxton’s death was a nuke leaving a crater. Yet I keep digging, but I can’t get lower than that. Anger, Rage, and Hatred rest in the 5th Circle, B is my 9th Circle sin. “To B Enraged Virgil”

Thursday, December 1, 2022

Saga 153 ~To B Enraged Virgil~

669 Days Without B III, Day 110 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering we’re talking now? I’ll give you three guesses about how my day is going.

If I had tried talking to you that Wednesday… Hell! Anytime earlier than our final week. Braxton, I’m not going to get over it, over you. I can’t hate myself more. But I do try B. For example, a few minutes ago. It’s 4:30 in the evening, and I went downstairs to call for you once again. MEDICINE TIME! Only you’re not here. And when I forget to do this, B? RAGE! Not at you but at myself. And then throw in the fact V is lying right here, B III? Another reason I know he’s not you. Braxton, you were too much like me. Hey Jealousy? Virgil isn’t. I bet he’s wondering why I went stomping out of bed a minute ago. I’m not sleeping, but I’m not mad.

Again at you. Now the Day Job. FUCKING DAY JOB! Pardon my language. Another 5-hour shot, so I’ll be awake at least till 7:20 tonight. Becoming the “Village Idiot” Braxton. Where do I even begin? So I’m waiting for the morning Huddle to start. These have steadily worsened over the past two weeks, but today… Well, one of the bosses talked about me smiling. I’m a fucking joke there with a fucking grin. B, how we would talk. Anyway, it could have been a crack about the dog tag I always wear with our picture on it. I’m smiling, then. Or is it I’m so fucking weak in that place? I grabbed onto it, asking for your strength and forgiveness. Hell! Your Rage, B III.

I remember you being angry at the whole world, and I know why. You weren’t mad at your Ma; I mean. “Mother is God in the eyes of a child.” You love your Aunt Carolina. Braxton, your Aunt, is good to both of us. But who I’m surrounded by always… Braxton, part of it, I’ll say, is jealousy. I’ve seen a lot of success these days from others. There’s the fact that I haven’t started my Christmas reading. Crying over another dog, B. NaNoWriMo is over, and I didn’t write one single word for it. Published anything? Nope. I’m wasting money. That chicken sandwich today. Oh, I’m going Karen if I’m not lazy. But hating myself for killing you; that’s enough. To B Enraged Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad