Tag: Fatherhood

Saga 102 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies~

WillLeave a comment

I’m a sucker for pain, yet I look at it strangely. I can’t stand seeing B and V hurt. I hate hunting but respect farms for animals. Women must be respected, but I’m a fan of X-Rated. But I’m paying for the doc. Not for Braxton’s And Virgil’s Ouchies.

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Saga 102 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but another truth is this. I’m just a “Sucker For Pain,” my love. Sadist, no doubt.

But when I’m talking about Braxton and now Virgil… Again I’m a selfish bastard. Why? Because I didn’t allow Braxton to hurt anymore? Yeah, baby doll, I’m back on these books about dead fur babies. Euthanasia. I couldn’t stand to see Braxton like that. Dying. Looking away, though, was never an option. To see the most beautiful thing and ugliest. Now I look at little Virgil here. I’ll have to go out despite anything and everything. An empty bag, an empty bowl, no. A man provides for his family. I do say that, hmm, love. But while I’m out, there’s something else I need to do, isn’t there? Besides worrying about Virgil’s nails, him getting a bath, an annual checkup? If I wasn’t so lazy.

Or so much of a sadist. Baby girl, I get no pleasure seeing you and the kids like this. To quote another song, “this love is killing me.” Then I would stay, wouldn’t I? If I liked watching what I was doing. Or if I wanted to suffer for it. Even with Braxton. Confession? I usually leave them for Inspector Echo. But the day before B III died, I left the house a bit. I needed to get food. And it wasn’t for Braxton because he wasn’t eating. Would I have let the vet drug him up if I could do it all over again? He could have fries and all his favorites for another few days. I am strange when it comes to pain.

And that’s why I’d be going out to see the doc even if I didn’t have to fetch V’s food. Oh, it isn’t the fact I’m trying to save money. A billionaire that wears jeans and hoodies everywhere. And hates being around most people. Well, with my business exception, ha. Funny, I wanted a business based on Fornication, Flimsy dressing requirements. All so I could have a Family. These things demand medical care. When it came to B III… money. I would have paid anything or gone full John Q. And now, with Virgil’s health care, once again, I’m a prick. With my mental state and the needs of you and our children. What? I should be a masochist, sigh. First, Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies.

618 Days Without B III, Day 059 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 100 ~Virgil’s Goals: To B~

WillLeave a comment

I think of all the things I should have said to B III. When I first picked up V, I didn’t ask him what he wanted? A dog that wouldn’t bite me. Who knows his way around a pee pad. And who was pretty lazy. But his goals, Virgil’s Goals: To B determined

Sunday, October 9, 2022

Saga 100 ~Virgil’s Goals: To B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I never want to worry about money again or you… And you? What do you want?

Now, how many times have I answered that? And yet you continue to ask it. First thing at 5:55 in the morning. Where is Braxton? Why isn’t he here, or why can’t he come back? Then you decided to be a selfish bastard and ask why it’s so cold. Why can’t you turn on the heat yet? You’re looking at your last pill come this evening. But you’re not better. Today, hell, this week should be all about Virgil. 57 days and you have no clue what he wants. Yesterday was the first day there was no hacking cough or fear. V’s a good dog… Only this morning, he was busy licking his… what nuts, ha-ha? You got mad. Like coughing up Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Gabby: The Little Dog That Had to Learn to Bark
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’re a simple man “Ain’tcha?” Hell! If each of these things were Yabbos, you’d win. Between the Rumble Rose Anesthesia, Lily Bowman, and Chronicle 254 “Because You’ll Go B…” I think we can both agree that the world… Damn That! Your health would be much better if sex were the key to power. Not like you’ll be getting any this week. Did I mention I LOVE being a billionaire? But you, what do you want? Sugar cookies and tea? Yeah, I finished another book by an English writer, and you’re reading about dead dogs. I’d advise against it, but I was the one that picked out the book anyway. No, you can’t read any more about Yabbos. But you can always try Six Impossible Things:

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~
  1. I WILL BE VIEWING My Best Friend, Gone: Coping With the Loss of a Pet
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But none of them will bring your boy back. Then there’s Virgil. Have you considered… Nothing, I know. I thought I would feel so much better when lying on the couch twice this week. I did some reading, but last night I fell asleep during WWE’s Extreme Rules. I swear, again, only the women’s matches kept me watching. Should I say I’m sorry you’re tired? Trying the watch the whole thing was exhausting. Living even more so. You know right now what you want… but Virgil needs you. Yeah, for food and water in BRAXTON’s bowls. A soft place to lay. And so many trips outside. His goal is to live. For you (shrugs). With all the writing today, a doctor? Virgil’s Goals: To B

616 Days Without B III, Day 057 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 095 ~B Lonely Virgil And…~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t remember exactly when I met B III or the day I wasn’t lonely with him here. I was alone For 15 years and 11 months, but I wasn’t lonely. Now’s there, Virgil. We’ve had good days and bad. Um, now I feel lonelier than ever. B Lonely Virgil And…

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Saga 095 ~B Lonely Virgil And…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could have much more than a man cave. A Castle, Colosseum, a Conclave…

I imagine our home is all the above and then some. Why am I under siege? Why are we fighting, or are we two people talking? That’s the whole point, isn’t it? I don’t want to be attacked or to fight. I don’t feel like talking. But I haven’t felt like talking since Sunday, January 31, 2021. And I’ve been much too tired since Tuesday, January 11, 2022. I know. Yeah, it’s all about B. It’s been 611 days now. And with V, we’re on day 52, my love. Hell! Why don’t I see a doctor since The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? 10 months? Fuck! Pardon my language, but what would be the lonely equivalent of such a word? Never mind, don’t answer that, love.

Another point. How can I be lonely when I have love in my heart? Well, what’s left of it anyway. And I don’t want to turn into a “Christian” and go all love endures… everything. I’m more of one for the movies. I love a dead man. Is that perhaps too vague? I’m a bit like Trinity from “The Matrix.” I love my boy, Braxton. Neo was the one, remember? Braxton, I’ll admit, is a better name, though. I can’t forget it, which brings me to Virgil Vivi Bradford. I constantly remind myself to say his name when I’m not saying B III’s for everything. Then there’s everyone and everything I love, and I feel lonely today. I wonder why?

I have you, my love, my baby doll. And yet I wake up so cold. Brr! Yes, the air conditioner is still good. But I have about as much faith in it as I have in B III being reincarnated. Hell! I can be all wrapped up with you, and I’m sure the kids would like to join us too. Only I’m in no mood. Well, considering it’s Friday, September 30, 2022. Time Travel, sigh. I could go get Virgil, but I know how that would end. He’d be hacking away like I’m the worst person ever. I’ve never made that a secret. And with you and our children? My love? I know I’m not a good one anymore, right? A dick, depressed, depraved. Mr. Lonely, B Lonely Virgil, And…

611 Days Without B III, Day 052 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 093 ~Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Maybe the doc will say I’m dying? That’s if I go today. I’m trying to find excuses. And I didn’t work so hard Friday to be ahead and not go Saturday to be behind Sunday. B III died on a Sunday. The Walking Dead? Me? “Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil”

Sunday, October 2, 2022

Saga 093 ~Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have accepted that you won’t be. At least not today. Your plans to live, hmm?

If I could give you one piece of advice today, it would be to stick to your plan. Be a Michael and not a Trevor… GTA motherfucker! Pardon the language. But that’s what happens when you wake up nearly on time. And yeah, it’s not a work day, but it sucks. Every day sucks, and you enjoy receiving blowjobs; go figure… Cut out the sex talk. Getting to the doctor early won’t do anything to relieve the anxiety. That’s not the point. Braxton was told a lie when he went to see the vet? I told him he was going to get better there. It’s October, a few weeks from Virgil’s birthday. What will you say to him about the vet.? Lies! Sweet Little Lies. Like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Cabin at the End of the World: A Novel
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least you’re eliminating one of the excuses not to do them. More coming. Now one win seems to be constant. Well, as long as you keep up the Reading Insights. Damn, Kindle ruining the streak. Speaking of streaks, you staying out of the doctor’s office. No, not today, ok? Noted, I should have gone yesterday, but I was afraid. Plus, you have food in the fridge because of me. But now, you’re no longer ahead in your writing. I thought you would have cried, checking the Day Job schedule. Will you cry with what the doctor says to you? Hell! If whoever said you were dying, it would be nothing like learning about Braxton. What about shame over Virgil? More than Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Gabby: The Little Dog That Had to Learn to Bark
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you’re a survivor. When it came to my ear, though? I wonder what drove me to the level of madness that I had no choice but to see a doctor. Harboring fears about Braxton? Even now, you wish you were dead. But here you are, dreading the incoming week. Everything, I mean every little thing gonna be all right? Another day, another lie (sigh). What will you tell the doctor about what’s wrong with you? Humiliation? The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident from Tuesday, January 11, 2021? Why did you wait 10 months to do anything? What if it can’t be cured? A fitting punishment, you know. What if you can’t pay? “Men” to dogs, right? A mob, King, God, Nonbeliever? Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil

609 Days Without B III, Day 050 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 088 ~Virgil Says B Love~

WillLeave a comment

How long did it take me to understand Triple B? I’m sure he doesn’t care that I always park on the home side of Walmart so I could pass the pet section and ask first. What does he need? A man provides, and that includes love. Virgil Says B Love.

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Saga 088 ~Virgil Says B Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what does that say about me? About us? Money doesn’t speak for you, but me…

Not to sound like Philippe Weis, played by Vincent Kartheiser, but “there’s nothing I cannot buy.” Can’t buy me love, some say. My love don’t cost a thing, others argue. Financial freedom, wealth. I told you about my days of “Humiliations Galore.” My entire existence, well, the life I have with you now, has been all about riches galore. Treasure. Call it my Republican tendencies, me being a traditionalist. If a man can’t provide for a family, he shouldn’t have one. A man provides for his family. Security, Safety, Serenity. Then there came my boy. To think of all the years, I wanted a fur baby but my little sister. My father gave her a dog then, Braxton chose me. Welcome to your manhood Will.

Money was no object when it came to trying to save him. I mentioned Philippe Weis. What about another father, John Quincy Archibald, played by Denzel Washington? Philippe had all the money, but what about love? John had love but no money. Cash, heart, more, my love? Love is a word; money is a piece of paper. As much as I love you, our children, my boy. Viva La Vida. “I used to rule the world.” “Everybody Wants To Rule The World.” Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m watching Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral. Work comes first, ok? As I said, if my family doesn’t have it all, “How will I know?” How will you know, I ask? I know that I don’t want to be my “father.” NO, NOT EVER!

Hell! Before I met you, I had a townhouse. Most of my bills were taken care of. I could keep food in my belly. Oh, and there was always Braxton. I only knew living alone from Sunday, February 1, 2021, to Saturday, August 13, 2022. Then came little Virgil. $150.00. Did that say I love you to him? What about a new collar or his second bag of food? Am I going to be in the “doghouse” for this comparison? Like him, I leave you out of everything that I’m doing. I want to be by myself as I continue to mourn Braxton Barks. If Virgil is Braxton, I’m sure what he wants, and needs are like yours, my love. Um… Virgil Says B Love

604 Days Without B III, Day 045 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 086 ~No V8 or B3~

WillLeave a comment

I think I’m getting how Charlie’s Grandpa Joe felt. Only it’s not candy that’s getting me up unless we’re talking Cameo’s version. And speaking of movies and music, “Pearl.” Yeah, she wasn’t healthy… in the head. And the rest? “No V8 or B3”

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Saga 086 ~No V8 or B3~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what is it they say, “if you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.”

The Princess Bride? As if you have time to watch a movie. As usual, the day begins with thoughts of your son. You wish those thoughts weren’t automatic, signaling indifference. Is that a win for Virgil? You’re still learning his language. Hacking up his lungs. Language-wise, it means he wants something. Hell! Maybe for me to remember his name? Yes, I called him Braxton yesterday. More proof of something being very wrong with me. Because of me, you’ll think about Pearl, Maxine, AKA Mia Goth. Um sorry? More like Fiona Belli from Haunting Ground. But for now, your only sin is dicking around at six in the morning. My crimes… what did I talk to Inspector Echo about? Oh, it wasn’t these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Dog Under The Bed 3 by DJ Cowdall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book… SOON
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Speaking of failures rather than successfully reading another book. It can’t be healthy to keep reading about dogs. At least in the last three books, the dog has lived. People, however? Well, women. This gets us back to what I’ve been watching and what you’re doing now. Trying to stave off madness, misery, and the macabre with some big mammaries. Now you know that’s not healthy. But with how I was talking Saturday and what you’ll dread all this week. Wednesday is not going to be a good day for you, okay? Don’t lose hope. Yeah, we might finish this conversation on time instead of seeing how gross you can be. Or the book you want to read. Success as a failure. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Cabin at the End of the World: A Novel
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Why do you feel so bad wanting to read something else? The books that haven’t been about dogs were somehow justified. Amazon’s damn reading challenges. To feel accomplished doing something when there has been nothing. Can’t take care of yourself. That remains to be seen, but it doesn’t look good… so far. Obsession over everything but life and love. Lust, of course. But between Virgil and the air conditioner, you’re not naked… yet. Perhaps you should catch up with OnlyFans since all that writing’s done? How about writing down the dream I had, or you could go and see a doc, but you can’t or won’t. You can at least check. Because Sprite and chicken noodle soup… um really? Other food? No V8 or B3

602 Days Without B III, Day 043 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 081 ~Love To B V~

WillLeave a comment

I love to have someone to love. I would love to be loved. Yet everyone who has ever told me such has made me, as the song goes, “Make Me Wanna Die.” Then there’s a woman I’ve never met and my firstborn who never spoke a word… “Love To B V.”

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Saga 081 ~Love To B V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now and leave it to a computer to ask do I feel loved. I’ll never doubt you.

But a week and some change, seeing as how I’m talking to you on Sunday, September 11, 2022. Do I love myself yet? Will I ever get over looking in the mirror, my love? Doubtful. Hell! I’m still looking at all these bills, the book series I have gotten into, and my browser history. Who could ever love someone like me? Again I do not doubt you, but how do I describe you? You’re the one that gives love meaning to me, and that’s enough love. I’m betting on the fact that I have yet to figure out Virgil. With Braxton, I’m not sure how long it took. Without him, it’s like being without air. And you are a breath that I need to take.

Baby Doll, I know all about not wanting to take the next one. Thirty-eight years has been one too many love. I feel the same way about these words. What am I saying, lover, inevitably? Scared to death? For so long, it’s been terrifying to stay and even more so to leave. It’s the only explanation for why I’m here. And when I sleep, there’s always such mad hope. Sinner’s dream, I know. Not to be religious but choosing the darkness rather than light? To close my eyes on the mere chance that I won’t have to open them again. But if I do? My son? I’ll be with my firstborn yet again. Do I feel loved? You’re here despite everything. I should feel lucky.

Why isn’t your love enough? I’ve always hated that saying. You know you have to love yourself first before you can love another. For 15 years… Hell! Always and forever, I will love Braxton, and I never gave a rat’s ass about myself. I got to get back to him, always. Love, is it that I don’t think I’m doing you justice like the dad in The Tomorrow War? He left his family. Talk about something I should have watched when we had Amazon Prime. Well, I am a billionaire. No, we are billionaires, but I don’t love Jeff Bezos. I don’t love TV… much. I wish I could say I didn’t love money. I love you “Still” and always. But Love To B V.

597 Days Without B III, Day 038 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 079 ~B Tripping Over V~

WillLeave a comment

It’s hard standing on my own two feet. There are so many reasons, and the heat is a new one. And that’s considering I’ve lived in the south since I was about 6, and now I’m 38. Well, that’s trippy. Braxton met me when I was only 21. B Tripping Over V

Sunday, September 18, 2022

Saga 079 ~B Tripping Over V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if anything, I’d ask you to watch your step this week. I’m not being a douche.

No, I save that for the little douche I once called my son, B III. Funny you can joke about something like that. Any tears? Um, you did have a nightmare; you were chased. Pro-Life. Yeah, I think I had enough of the media this week. One more reason you started with an audiobook and not any social media. I’ll tell you, last week it was like the world’s hellbound. If you’re going to Hell and make no mistake, you are. Sorry I made it one more week. But since you’re screwed anyway, it might as well be for something you did. Killing Little B. And what about Virgil? Can’t say I was going out of my way to help him acclimate. Six Impossible Things?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Dog Under The Bed 2 by DJ Cowdall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book… SOON
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

No, I wasn’t tripping… cut to me about ready to smash the bedroom window with a hammer to get some air. When’s the last time the thermostat read in the seventies? Burning! Then there’s the fact that I left Virgil to that as I went out and let Humiliations Galore ensue. Whether it be going to PetSmart (to buy Virgil’s food). Or finding my way to Subway. And then when I got the window open well… First time I’ve turned down porn. You know what I mean. I bought a new OnlyFans subscription. This morning you were tripping over your dick for Presley @thesaviorswife. Amongst other things. Oh, much worse. You’re tripping over the big bed and out the window? There are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Dog Under The Bed 3 by DJ Cowdall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book… SOON
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And while you’re not busy tripping and falling in love with the ball, a fluff sleeping in the next room, he needs you… Hell! To save him, and you can’t even save yourself right now. Or maybe you’ve forgotten, and yes, we both did, that you’re sick. It’s why I bought another thing of Cranberry juice and a whole bunch of chicken noodle soup. Doctor? Well, between all that money your “father” “stole,” you couldn’t go. Today, tomorrow, Ah, life. Maybe you’ll trip over your underwear, and today will be the day your “father” calls. There’s tripping down the stairs and breaking the gate that would free V. Doesn’t it beat being chased and murdered by a Pro-Life activist? In Dreams. B Tripping Over V

595 Days Without B III, Day 036 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 074 ~To B Relaxed V~

WillLeave a comment

To wake up saying no, screaming, or all sexy. And when I’m awake, I look over my shoulder, wait for a surprise, or skulk around even when I’m alone. There ain’t no rest for the wicked, peace or happiness. Imagining things? “To B Relaxed V.”

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Saga 074 ~To B Relaxed V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means we can afford a vacation. How about some good drugs? Settle for a snack?

Hell! Nothing beats sleep but everything. If there’s anything, I’ll give this E-Day come and gone. Getting a goodnight’s sleep. Now that’s a miracle. Oh, but I still wasted the day. Yep, I know, ok. That’s no good with us being parents, though sleep is in short supply. Especially rest. Love, I know that I haven’t rested since the 8th. Is that how many kids I want? With my Republican tendencies, I’m more of a traditionalist. You know, the Nuclear Family. 2.5 kids? And how many do we have now, plus V, who’s been here what a month and some change? But we’re not the type of family the GOP wants, except financially speaking, tokens. Being a black man’s hard. And a guilty one, Love.

One and the same? This is taking a different tone than I intended. But you never know what you’ll get when this man wakes up. I was speaking to you “In Dreams” and then… That’s the thing. Why do you think I have so many alarms on the phone? I need to know where I will be every moment of the day. Even if the reason’s passed away. Braxton remains on my phone. And now there are the fears I had before I knew the truth of what was happening. Could I share those with you, since I share everything else about my boy? To give voice to all these things… I don’t think you would be able to rest here with me. You’d leave…

I value your peace. Yours, the children, as Virgil lies here this Friday afternoon. Another reason I’m not relaxing is that I know what this Tuesday will bring. It could be so much worse. It’s my Old Man calling me about wrecking his tranquility by not allowing him to destroy mine. I’ve said it how many times now? I rather burn. And I fear I will. I’ve deserved it for a long time. But I still lie in fear of it. My emergence into Hell. E-Day, of course, when I had to talk to my Ma. Love, if I had my way… Being born here? There’s my rage at the world. All the humiliations to consider. Peace? For someone like me? To B Relaxed V.

590 Days Without B III, Day 031 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 072 ~Better B’s Advice V~

WillLeave a comment

King Ezekiel was just “Some Guy” in The Walking Dead. And let’s not forget “Sum Dum Goy” in “The Last Dragon.” And speaking of remembering, Tuesday, September 11, 2001, “9/11.” Yet if I could give myself any advice on existence… “Better B’s Advice V”

Sunday, September 11, 2022

Saga 072 ~Better B’s Advice V~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you wouldn’t listen to a preacher anyway. A motivational speaker? Your father? You’d be dead already.

Well, that’s one thing that isn’t going away at the start of the week. The memory as to why either. Drinking, doing drugs, or your dick sucked wouldn’t help the overall problem, so why bother? You’re being STUPID! Hell! You’ll get only peer pressure in the mirror and Virgil Vivi’s eyes. No, you’re not there with him yet. Looking into his eyes and seeing who you want to be, ha. Funny that a long time ago… What? Braxton’s been gone 588 days. Virgil’s first month. Anyway, I made a list of things I learned from Triple B and then lost it. The only man worth listening to, and you don’t have his words anymore. What can Virgil say with nearly 30 days; Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Title The Dog Under The Bed, DJ Cowdall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing A Shopping Trip To Help Virgil Vivi Stay Cool
    Completed
  3. I WILL BE Making An Attempt At Getting Anything Published To Make Some Cash
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VIGILANT For Sexual Endeavors, For E-Day, Somehow, Someway
    Failed
  5. I WILL BE VALUED If Only To Myself By Finding A Prize E-Day
    Completed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, So I Maybe The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Is it honest to say I did three of these things? If anything, you’re as confused as Virgil is right now. And getting as scared again. As V’s coughing fits have returned, so what now? I know last week was all about not learning from the past. A year of advice, experience, and learning for what? To be 38 and sound more and more like some emo teen every day. If you had your way, you’d go back to the day when you read the Basic Bitch’s words. Eek! What did I talk about earlier this week? A list of the worst days? Another list

  1. Braxton’s Death
  2. E- Day
  3. Tifa’s Mature Dress/Zoe Colletti, January 11, 2022
  4. Lesson 001 July 2, 2017

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Dog Under The Bed 2 by DJ Cowdall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book… SOON
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

While we’re on the subject of bad days and things you won’t be doing, like being a better American… Tuesday, September 11, 2001. Twin Towers, The Pentagon, Senior Year, yep. What about being a better friend? We could talk about Virgil being in his own room at the moment. Because being around you… Talk about seeing anxiety. V’s learned much. What can I tell you to do? I know what I want to say, but it involves closing your eyes. You could always go back to sleep. I finished a week of blogging because this week is going to suck. You could catch your breath after your toes curl or why bother at all, hmm? Breathing is so overrated. But Virgil? Better B’s Advice V

588 Days Without B III, Day 029 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will