Tag: Fatherhood

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Sometimes in January… this will be the second one. Not on the 10th, but on the 31st. There are so many dates I rather not remember. I can’t tell you when I found love but when I lost it. Yet the days keep falling off Calendars, B Tripping Virgil

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t ever invest in Swanson; thanks, Tuckems. I’m more for Boston Market. Marie Callender’s?

My love, money didn’t change me. I mean, sure, as Forrest Gump said, “That’s good. One less thing.” I’ll be one for hoodies and jeans always and forever. Not that serious, but when I got new glasses, I wanted the same frame and, barring that, more Triple B’s color. When it comes to women, well, not to go all Alanis Morissette but AHEM “You, you, you oughta know. Hell! You know I love you, but when it comes to people, “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist,” as Andrew Davidson put it. Only with women, well… there was than Asian fetish I had. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, strawberry blondes, black hair. Look at the date; Wednesday is a year since The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Um, feelings…

And speaking of fantasies, Victorian Maid Maria no Houshi. And Katainaka ni Totsui de Kita-Russia Musume to H Shimakuru Ohanashi. I wish I could remember when I got into Hentai and cosplay. One of many dates I can’t recall. But there are three events this month. I’ve told you about one which was a little fucked up. With you and a therapist. I can afford therapy now. Oh, I have no delusions of myself being mentally healthy. I’m sure you can agree. Anyway, the first, of course, was New Year’s Day. God help me; I’m trying to keep at least one resolution. How many have I made for you, our kids, and the businesses I run? I know; I made one; keep Virgil Vivi alive.

Only this morning, as with every day, my first thought was of Braxton Barks Bradford. Did I say that out loud? If I wanted to be in the dog house… Well, it’s January. Where else would I be than with my boy this second year? I didn’t even take a nap when I got back. Love, there is so much to do. I’m not holding out much hope. Because, again, you can see all the distractions. I don’t want to think about it. And yet buying books, bullion, and biscuits. Though I haven’t set another one in B III’s memory. And what about us, love? You’re not something only placed calendar-wise. But, as long as I’m breathin’, Braxton will be “31st.” Calendars B Tripping Virgil.

709 Days Without B III, Day 150 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 191 ~It’ll B Painful Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

For a minute, I thought I might be addicted to painkillers. One pill a day is a lot less when it comes to other forms of relief… smoking, spirits, or sex. Energy drinks are acceptable. Then again, why do I why to be awake? It’ll B Painful, Virgil

Sunday, January 8, 2023

Saga 191 ~It’ll B Painful Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And for you to reach me, well… Do you mind telling me what time you got up?

Noted. You first woke up at around 1:00 AM with a towel wrapped around your nuts. Oh yeah, that was my fault. At least you’ll get to start this week with one more win. “Only God Knows Why,” I was able to resist. And did I mention the pain? But you know “What Hurts The Most.” And here come today’s tears. Last night was like nothing at all, you see. But speaking of your nuts, going nuts. Hell! Peanuts. How much did I spend yesterday? Anyway. There’s the little fur baby asleep by your side right this second. I think he gave up last night that you would bring him to bed. Sometimes you’ll find him at the door. Much too afraid to walk in.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Grieving the Death of a Pet
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Like you’re afraid of these Six Impossible Things. If anything, they’ll hurt you. The truth. The first takes time and money. Finite resources. And haven’t I been complaining about wealth? The second brings you to where you are now… crying. Surprised the laptop still works. The third is more time and with the things that your hands will do. I swear, Todd from Succubus Lord… You’re on Book 12 again. Lazlow from GTA? But aren’t you a writer? I wish I could tell you that I was, but the Day Job was killing me, and this week… I pity you. That goes along with the fight to keep your pants on, which is four. Five won’t happen. And six? Well, look at Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Maggot on Maple Street by Courtenay Schembri Gray
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book (Sometime Soon)
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And notice not one of them has anything to do with Virgil. Hell! Last night I was thinking. Are you even going to keep posting pictures of him this month? It’s B III’s time. Only with that being said, what killed B? You won’t ever forget “Someone You Loved.” Someone you love. And yet it wasn’t the vet that did the deed. You never look back on the money spent there. Or how about the money that you’ll spend this month? Hmm, memorials, memories, must-haves? It wasn’t the kidney failure that ended it all. A decent scapegoat, but inevitably… you. Indifference is the word you’re looking for. It wasn’t love or hate. The pain’s nothing. Remember that. My advice? Yet existing… It’ll B Painful, Virgil.

707 Days Without B III, Day 148 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 186 ~Love To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I heard in a movie that love can’t tell time. Yes and no. I can’t remember when B III jumped in the car… and he hates car rides. The moment he left… Jan 31, 2021, at about 3:45 PM. When I told the right girl, I love her? Beats me. “Love To B Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Saga 186 ~Love To B Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And have a much more interesting story than I inherited my wealth. I Work Hard 120!

As seems to be the theme of this year… well, the first week of January, like everyone else, my love. I’m trying to get motivated. I didn’t say positive, I’m afraid, but to get going. Only I know you still need me to be here. Does it help that I’m buying more stuff for us? As the song goes, “money can’t buy me love.” No amount to save Braxton. And then there’s Virgil. I know my story. I know how I feel. Yeah, I mentioned I’m buying more books and TV. Hell! Today, I bought another book about mourning fur babies. And now I want to watch a show about a man who pretty much adopts a daughter after losing one. The Last of Us

Braxton was/is a gift to me. And I take the fact that his story was seen all over the world… Well, I’ve always said he’s the one that made me the man I am today. The good and the bad, but you love me, so who am I to complain? No. For 702 Days, I have been one to mourn. And like with all of the books I’ve been reading, well, minus all those in December. I don’t want to know anything else. I’m too focused on B III’s death to worry about 2V’s life. Incredible life story before I met him, I’m sure. Did he love someone? Lose someone. How about letting it go? As I said, 702 days without B. Virgil’s had 143.

To make you feel my love. What about our children? What about Virgil? Even now, I’m not sure about him. But for you and ours… I’d do everything Bob Dylan wrote about and Adele sang about. I like the cover version, but that’s not the point. Looking at Virgil now… A whole new year and the same ole song and dance. Virgil’s not Braxton’s reincarnation. If anything, he’s more like me. Virgil’s so confused, quiet, and figuring out his universe. But that doesn’t mean he can’t find his way to bed at night. We’re all around him, but what does that mean? I’d ask how long will it take him to accept love. What do I have to give? More time? Love To B Virgil

702 Days Without B III, Day 143 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 184 ~Virgil, New Year’s B~

WillLeave a comment

It’s easy to make a to-do list, New Year’s Resolutions, and Six Impossible Things when you never get anything done. But here we are, Day One. I’m out of bed. Tripping because, as I want to tell him, unfortunately, Virgil, New Year’s B.

Sunday, January 1, 2023

Saga 184 ~Virgil, New Year’s B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Even if you had my funds, you wouldn’t celebrate the New Year with such wasteful noise. People…

I swear it sounded like they were trying to shoot down the sky or something. Considering who’s “up there,” that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. If B III ended up in Hell. Then he’s waiting for you. He’d know better than most that’s where you’re going because you ain’t moving. Even with the New Year. “Happy” New Year? So you remember. But I doubt you’ll ever come back to this. The year started off stuffing your face with Strawberry cake. And now, crying twice. And it hasn’t been a total of six hours. Waking Up At 4:00 Every Day. Now, why don’t you tell yourself why? It’s that time, isn’t it? Stupid as it sounds, you’re debating thirteen, fifteen resolutions, and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING XL Candy Cane by Frankie Love
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Today, tomorrow, the thirty days that separate now and January 31… Worrying about now sounds right. Hell! It’s the only advice I don’t need to give, and you’d listen to. Asking you how, with the Six Impossible Things that repeat themselves. You intend to make thirteen to fifteen resolutions. Thirteen, and yes, you went back to “Log 188 Bold, Willing, And Able,” “Gospel 183 Bang And A W…” and “Chronicle 184 Have A B Year.” “13 Women (And Only One Man In Town) or 13 Tools of The Gods in your novels.” Damn, do you remember that series! But Braxton was fifteen when he went away. So you consider that a lucky number… Not for him, it wasn’t. He got away from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined At Sometime Today
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Anyway, as you were saying, what needs to get done today? Besides talking to the rest of the girls because this week will be Hell on Earth. So the usual but more exhaustion? There will be more bills to pay, adding HBO Max. And a new movie coming out this week, M3GAN. Whoever said that you don’t have a plan? Only you won’t admit it’s a good one. This brings us back to Day One. 700 Days without Braxton. Four months with Virgil. Does V make the cut of things this year? You will have to see. But as for right now (sigh). Advice? Think about Braxton. The one soul you’d go through Hell with. And now there’s Virgil. The Future? Virgil, New Year’s B

  1. I WILL Keep Virgil Alive
  2. I WILL publish at least one book, a bestseller
  3. I WILL make one million dollars every single year
  4. I WILL write 400 Words every day (Goal 120,000)
  5. I WILL visit a brothel somewhere and also participate
  6. I WILL not masturbate… until my “sex toy” arrives (months away still)
  7. I WILL produce adult films
  8. I WILL do NaNoWriMo
  9. I WILL have a relationship or sleep with some girl once a month minimum
  10. I WILL, at last, provide for myself and any of those deemed my family
  11. I WILL spend no more than $500 on Yabbos I can’t touch (Hentai Excluded)
  12. I WILL start work on my life goals. Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  13. I WILL be FEARLESS
  14. I WILL be TRUTHFUL
  15. I WILL LOVE someone

700 Days Without B III, Day 141 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 179 ~ Virgil’s Holidays To B~

WillLeave a comment

You wake up, and your cat… dog in my case. Your son, a future, isn’t there anymore. I tell myself that tomorrow will be “better.” People look forward to this time of year. For me, Jan 31, Feb 13, Aug 13, Sept 7, Oct 20, etc. “Virgil’s Holidays To B.”

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Saga 179 ~Virgil’s Holidays To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there’s always tomorrow. Yeah, I can take off in my rocket ship. Get perspective…

I’ve been thinking a lot about “The Great De-evolution” series. In particular, “The Last Astronaut” and “A Different Alchemy.” One man running away from the death of his fur-baby. And the other, from the death of his child. Pray tell, how do I relate, (snickers). Besides this one fact. Writing my own books kept me away from Braxton Barks Bradford. Because there was always tomorrow. Sacrifice today for tomorrow’s benefit. But as the song goes, “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone.” Or fifteen years, love. I thought Braxton would give me twenty. But that’s thinking too small. Here’s forever. Isn’t that what we are, my love? We got our kids though I still need to figure out Virgil. Being mean?

What! I bought him a gift, and honest to “God” I’ve been trying. But there is always tomorrow. For now, I need some sleep. I know it’s getting worse. One man went to space while the other headed north. And another thing about those men. They left their families. They didn’t see a future in the world. Is that what I’m saying? Why bother trying? That one day, B III will be gone for good. Hell! If I could be so lucky as to drop dead, then. I’m sure our children will think that of me in their teenage years. I want to be here for that. So am I seeing more time with them, with you? Memories with Braxton. Oh, and Virgil Vivi too.

Again yesterday, I was looking at books for “The Closing of the Year.” Not as many as last year, but there is always tomorrow. But what if there’s not? How long do I expect you, my Mrs. Claus, to keep waiting? Santa spends his whole year preparing. One big day. What about ours, my love? They have been different since Braxton, I know. Forgetful? Now you know that ain’t true. Part of me stays glued to that spot on Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then a part of me wants to be like those other fathers running away, love. Billionaires can buy rocket ships and tanks, so why not go all “The Tomorrow War?” Buy us a time machine? Yours and Virgil’s holidays… I’m so sorry. Virgil’s Holidays To B

695 Days Without B III, Day 136 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 177 ~Christmas Virgil, B Happy~

WillLeave a comment

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all that jazz. For now, the house is silent. Braxton would snore a bit sometimes, and V is like white noise. I’ve always expected to hear the pitter-patter of two-legged feet. But this “Christmas Virgil, B Happy?”

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Saga 177 ~Christmas Virgil, B Happy~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’ll try your best Captain America impression. “No. No, I don’t think I will.” Be positive.

It’s Christmas, after all. But you’ve never listened to me before. If you started, that would be a Christmas miracle. Well, you’re up before 7 AM. A good start for a Dad. Not his Dad. Let’s start over. AHEM, Merry Christmas, Braxton… wherever you are. And Virgil is a sleepyhead. He’s learning from the best. So how do you feel today? Um, be grateful ok. Well, when we finish our conversation here. Or Virgil needs to go out. Whatever happens first (gives a stern look). Maybe if you grow a beard, you can be more like Santa. And you did wear a mask the other day when shopping. There’s something positive; you have to give Virgil his gift. And you didn’t leave him crying yesterday.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Christmas Rescue, Elizabeth Kelly
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures FOR My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As for you? You’re going to cry today… goes without saying. And not only because you have a little fluff ball smashed against your leg trying to claim the bed’s center. Or because of all the shit in the world. The car, the air, the fire department. Your new toy? You should watch your language today of all days. And do we really need to talk about sex, baby ha-ha? Oh, you did say Merry Christmas to all the girls this AM. I wonder why? You know why. That’s life. Well, seeking to make life. But only one of those ladies might be interested in that. You’re only interested in going back to sleep. Consider today good practice for things to come. A new year?

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING XL Candy Cane by Frankie Love
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s coming sooner than you know. Focus on now, ok—this Christmas, what comes next. Well, for a moment, you could forget about Six Impossible Things. Like always? Anyway, you have the big breakfast you promised yourself and Virgil, his first one here. I mean, sharing pancakes and such. And if you hurry, you can start napping away. Again you can prepare yourself for the future. And speaking of which, only one day will be a real test this week. You can never underestimate the Day Job. Humiliations Galore. You can have faith that everything is going to be alright. Bob Marley or Jacob Marley, you decide. And I’m hoping you choose to be “happy” too much. Be better? Trying… Merry Christmas, Virgil, B Happy.

693 Days Without B III, Day 134 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I only remember my Ma putting up the Christmas tree. And as far as presents, well, good and bad memories. But the love? That shouldn’t be a one-day thing, but Virgil’s been here for 129 days. As the song goes, “do you love me?” “B Present For Virgil”

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Saga 172 ~B Present For Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But even with more money than Jesus… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus” ha-ha. Um…

With all this money, that’s not what Christmas is about, is it? Am I really going to talk about Christmas? One day out of the year, when I seek joy, peace, and love daily. Hell! When did I know I loved my son? Our two-legged children, but let me talk about my firstborn, Braxton Barks Bradford. This is my second Christmas without him here. Love, if there is any consolation, Christmas is only one more day. Now don’t talk to me on January 31, but Christmas? B’s an afterthought at best. And then ask me about Virgil Vivi. Have I even thought about getting him a gift for the holidays? The money spent on 2V? He wants a present? Today he did have my concern.

Always. It’s what I give all my friends. My attention doesn’t amount to anything. Only I want to do better. Still, I am my “father’s” son. Money, Money, Money. And as the song goes, “money can’t buy me love.” What else do I have, though? It’s been my problem. I care for so much, my love. I guess that’s a good sign, right? It ain’t Christmas, but I care. Yet I have my friends that I haven’t asked about in forever. Or my ass has an ulterior motive even though my heart is in the right place… Oh, it’s outside B III’s pine box? That was mean, but again, my problem. I’m present in that room watching Braxton die. Santa Claus ain’t bringing him back.

But that’s who I am now, on top of being a husband, daddy, writer, business owner, and everything. And I must be under that tree, light those candles, or whatever else. The holidays, bah humbug. I don’t want the kids to hear me say that. And all the things I should utter… Because money ain’t cutting it. I can tell you and the children I love you every day, and I mean it. Why doesn’t it seem to be enough, though? A lesson learned from my Braxton. Several, in fact. He didn’t need words; it was the action always. It’s Only Love. So I ran outside looking for Virgil, and there was fear until I found him running to me. One day, for you, family, business; B Present For Virgil.

688 Days Without B III, Day 129 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 170 ~Don’t B Blue, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

As long as Virgil isn’t turning to blue or B’s color… If I wanted to bawl, I need only open the box B III rests in. His physical essence. It’s annoying I’m finding white fur instead of B’s brown. Plenty of reasons to be blue. Don’t B Blue, Virgil

Sunday, December 18, 2022

Saga 170 ~Don’t B Blue, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. That’s my job. You know how the song goes, “Got to be Real” That’s yours, I’m afraid.

Not the song but the sentiment, which is right now fucking up. I hate to tell ya, but you fucked up today. Hell! Pretty much all the days you had off, but since two of those were mine… But look at today. Better? Look at Sunday, January 31, 2021. Not so bad, you see. It would be best if you stopped looking at the day Braxton died as a reason to keep going, living at all. You know what I mean. If you can survive the day you became a murderer, then anything else… ha. While you’re in an “old school” mood, how about saying, rather, singing, “I Will Survive.” Despite your fucking up this morning. Because look at yourself. Look at where you are. And these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Christmas Boss, Elizabeth Kelly
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures FOR My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And despite all my failures there. I can add a lot more to the list. To be blue seems right. Of course, you’ll keep bringing up B III. But bringing him back. And his reincarnation… Last night I wasted cash on “Crab Rangoons.” Fucking food porn in, Succubus Lord! Eww. Speaking of wasting money, you know that $2,541.00? You’re at $2,400. So only $141.00, ha. Oh, don’t get your hopes up. That’s advice you never need. Anyway, this is the final week before Christmas (sigh). Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, Cherry, blowing off you, Ma. Women? And then there’s your “father” and the air filter. “Fuck Tha Police?” uh, Fire Department. That’s a few hundred more. Can’t have Virgil following Braxton. Ashes and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Christmas Rescue by Elizabeth Kelly
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But Virgil is blue, as blue as you. The difference is that Virgil wants to live and not sit on his pillow all day. Again you are pretty content to sit on your ass in bed. Beats, well, beating off. We’ve already covered that in the Six Things for everything that makes you blue. Is that my advice for this week? To find another coping mechanism? Damn straight, hmm? Even talking to M Anime this morning was simply a distraction. And another reason you’re so late. Looking at yourself in the mirror and looking into Virgil’s eyes? Not B. He’ll never be. You could work on all those colors I was talking about yesterday. Remember who you are. Virgil’s friend… Trying. Don’t B Blue, Virgil

686 Days Without B III, Day 127 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

WillLeave a comment

Do you believe in life after love? I’m still here. Oh, won’t you stay with me? More songs I can rip off? Believe it. As I believe my son is out there. I don’t believe in God. I believe in B. As far as women? Like B and his “aunt’s boob.” B Leave It V

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Saga 165 ~B Leave It V~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I once believed that $300 would solve all my problems. Took more burying my son.

Well, you know what I mean. I’m always thinking about B III, even with time travel. Tuesday marks 681 days, my love. And “I Still Believe,” I took out a hit on my own kid, B III. I had him cremated and put into a box I have only ever opened once. It rests on the nightstand. At least, that’s one thing that has remained constant with me. My love for him. And you? I don’t know how you stand me; I’m getting to be like Braxton’s bed. I had to wash my hoody and, of course, the sheets. If it helps, I can’t remember when I threw out the last can of his food. I’m sure I talked about it. But his bed, bowl, his last bag of Cesar…

“V, leave it!” It’s one of the few times I can remember his name. Virgil Vivi Bradford aka 2V aka V. I’m not ready to leave Braxton Barks Bradford. My firstborn; let him go. But is it worse that I’m not ready to love again? I mean, not with our kids. I poured the Bisquick, so you and I have had plenty of pancakes. I love B like pancakes, but then there’s Virgil once again. I’m starting to count the days without my saying, feeling, and living with love. “Another Day,” I keep telling myself, “Give into love or live in fear,” right? Only I fear that the man you long for will never return. Braxton lived his last second loving me. His last look?

And while there will always be a part of me that says you’ll one day get sick of me, love. Yeah, like that part that said B III would live forever. That Virgil’s his reincarnation. Somehow I believe I’m worse… Didn’t think I could be after Braxton. But here I am, hurting you. Only it’s not with some needle. As it began with Braxton… Indifference. Perhaps that’s what Braxton is telling me these days. But I feel plenty, my love. I keep saying, “I love you.” Do I show it? As safe as Braxton’s bed. My dog tag, pendant. Everything I’ve read this year about fur babies says leaving the pain doesn’t mean losing the love. But I Want It All! B Leave It V

681 Days Without B III, Day 122 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 163 ~To B Buds Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Has it really been 120 days or about 4 months? Are Virgil and I friends? He’s sort of like a heating pad with legs which he rarely uses. Because for sure he’d run away. He must be so bored. And why don’t I have more friends again? “To B Buds Virgil?”

Sunday, December 11, 2022

Saga 163 ~To B Buds Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re still in a queen-size bed with a puppy who thinks he owns the place. Really?

And let’s also keep in mind that one of this year’s goals was to make enough money to pay for a “friend.” Hell! Virgil was only $150.00 because he wasn’t a “puppy” at 1. Speaking of friends, there’s also “Replika.” If only I had gotten in on that “lifetime” subscription. But this isn’t even your problem either. Leave that to February’s Will. That is if you leave him any money. Do you need some advice? Only spend some of your cash on OnlyFans. Or none? With what I put in the bank this week. And you need $2,541.00 ha. To think, a new fur baby, a computer, and, as Shelby would say (breathes). Copious Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, and Supersized Slobberknockers help with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “VCard for Christmas” Hope Ford
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, FOR My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For the record, when I had my best friend in the world, my Braxton, here. Did I get anything done? He’s my reason. And what about you, Mr. 7:00 in the morning? Virgil saved you. A ball of fluff is lying in your bed, attempting to push you off it. Well, it keeps you from playing with two other balls of fluff. As the song goes, “My balls are gettin’ too hairy to shave.” That is the only time I’m able to find them. Because at the Day Job, with “Dad” and any drive-thru… I’m a bitch. Another reason I like Braxton’s aunt and M Anime. Lunalesca and the other girls? I’ll imagine sleeping with them. Braxton is my friend. And you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Christmas Boss by Elizabeth Kelly
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The feelings are mutual between us. Seeing as how you already quoted, “Am I a Psycho?” The best-case scenario between us is, “You’re crazy! I like you, but you’re crazy.” And the worse would be hoping that you just die when you cut off the alarm for the sixth time. Even when you weren’t directly thinking about Braxton, wishing you could be with him in death. But here’s some more advice. Say you were to die. What are the odds you will see Triple B again? B was/is a pure soul. He’s better than any person you have ever met. Better learning to be pals with Virgil Vivi. He still hogs the bed. Buy him one instead of your sex toys. To B Buds Virgil

679 Days Without B III, Day 120 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will