Tag: Love

Chronicle 193 ~Pain Makes Heroes And Villains~

WillLeave a comment

I always saw myself as the villain. I’m no Trumptard, but I like power. That means I’m no democrat. Um, I don’t want to do politics. But I find it hard to do any morning without my son. My hero. Playing the villain for Pain Makes Heroes And Villains.

Monday, January 10, 2022

Chronicle 193 ~Pain Makes Heroes And Villains~

Two-Hundred and Twenty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, but does that make me a hero or a villain. I know that making money hurts. Kills!

I could talk about my body wasting away, but of course, you know what I want to talk about. Braxton is dead. I wouldn’t know at the time “2021” Gospel 193 List It Up, Will. Madam, I was much too busy playing the hero. Like a fucking rich man with $600 in my pocket, and I spent $100 on B. As a poor man, I was still working to provide for us both. Every day I face the evils of this world because I AM a father. Present tense always. That’s what Jack and Kate say in their book Letters From Rainbow Bridge. Past tense? That’s dismissing Braxton from my life, and I need him now more than ever. Kept my lamp on last night.

That doesn’t make me sound like much of a villain, now does it. I don’t even know what woke me up, but I couldn’t get back to sleep for a bit. Where is my hero? Watching over me as always, but still, I needed the light. All I recall is the pain. Nightmares have pain? I’ll always think of how B III would get a blanket when I was ill. A cape and hoody, ha. If I would make all the world my bed, then he would stay here so I could keep him safe. The way he’d smile when I would pet him or rub his tummy. B III, look, the day is saved. The pain Madam, the greatest hurt comes from being alone.

No, that’s a lie. In one of the arguments, I have with myself… I need to stop talking to myself. That makes me sound crazy. At least when Braxton… again, I’m trying. Braxton is here but talking to myself seems to be a form of Acceptance. 344 days, I’ll never. Anyway, my “father” taught me that this is the most villainous act that can ever be done. The Destruction of a Soul. Yes, I’m a killer. All these books on Euthanasia sound like Greek to me. The good death. Taking someone’s body is horrible, their life even more so. But the concept of taking away someone’s will? My “father’s” a villain. My son’s a hero. But both brought pain. Me? Pain Makes Heroes And Villains

Gospel 193 ~List It Up, Will~

“Last night reading over the Dæmon’s vet care. I felt like such a horrible parent.”

“Now it’s “A Different Alchemy” Jeffery and his son Galen. One more thing to show your dad like failures, yep.”
193 List It Up, Will

344 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 192 ~B A Man Of…~

WillLeave a comment

Be a man of greatness now, kindness, wisdom, a man so humble. I’m not sure about all that, but I was better when Braxton was here. Sure I feel a twinge of “giving a shit” when I see such and such boobs or when reaching for tortilla chips. B A Man Of…

Sunday, January 9, 2022

Chronicle 192 ~B A Man Of…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but does that make me a man? Well, what about you? 1984’s you are the last man.

No, you figured, you and Braxton would be apocalypse partners. But isn’t it ironic that the world ended Sunday, January 31, 2021, and here you are? As the song goes, “I walk a lonely road. The only one that I have ever known.” I have, and you will. It’s inevitable. Only for 343 Days so far. Speaking of the inevitable, missing Braxton, questioning manhood, how I miss music. Geez, this week is going to suck all the more without it. Look at it this way, as always. The Day Job is the third worse day, ok. Emergence Day, B’s Day. Neither made you a man. Hell, both days make you wish you were dead. Dangerous words. The Day Job’s Hell. Much like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading My Dog Has Died: What Do I Do
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial Completion
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I had an Epiphany while in Walmart, ha. A Revelation, if you will. Synonyms? Epiphanies are like once or very few times in a lifetime. When I hear the word Revelation, I remember Tillie Cole’s “Deadly Virtues” series or the Bible as in the book of. The world is ending. Something like Ecclesiastes 1:18, increasing knowledge, increases sorrow. Dammit, Jack. You’ll continue to read Jack McAfghan/Kate McGahan. Anyway, Epiphany, Revelation. You’ll share more with Inspector Echo but ok. So I would take that line from Battle for the Planet of the Apes. One day you’ll be as tall as a king. I would tell Braxton. I raised my son so high he went all the way to Heaven. To see him again… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Jack McAfghan: Letters From Rainbow Bridge, Kate McGahan
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of My B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You won’t put that on the list yet, but how could you make it to Heaven, to Rainbow Bridge? A song came to mind, “We Are Growing” by Margaret Singana. In its lyrics, hell, the first three words are “Be a man.” Now, of course, what of Mulan, Rocky, Star Trek? They all have songs or lines about being a man, but what do you believe. To be a man, hmm? Fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. Just be a man, and let history judge accordingly. So am I telling you to be a father again? After almost a year. Fuck no! There is no way. Yet, getting up in the morning requires boobs, bucks, your Braxton? None of that’s here. B A Man Of…

Gospel 192 ~Will Seconds That Emotion~

343 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 191 ~B Forgetful This Week~

WillLeave a comment

This marks one more month that I’d rather forget. Hell to forget the 342 Days without B, but what would we have done in all that time? B would make sure I got his grandma a gift. Only, I’m buying another pendant in B’s memory. “B Forgetful This Week”

Saturday, January 8, 2022

Chronicle 191 ~B Forgetful This Week~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. I wonder, do other billionaires forget how much they have. I continue to remember my loss.

My B, I swear I have ruined the weekend for myself. That was fucked up to say, wasn’t it, Lu? What I mean is, at the moment, I am once again time-traveling, in a rush to not be alone anymore. I believe the adoptions start back up today at PetSmart. Can I shush it? Again, me saying STUPID stuff. It’s been that way since I started reading My Dog Has Died: What Do I Do?” I’m sure I’ve finished it by now, but we’ll get to talking about that. Let’s start with my writing, for example, Gospel 191 ~The Island Will What…~. I mentioned B III had a vet appointment, but it was all about my books. The first one of the new year, Lunalesca.

Instead of B III’s life, I mused about The Island by Gary Paulsen. If I remember, he didn’t make it through 2021 either. I ruined my first song of the year on Spotify talking to Dear Future Wife. It was somewhere between “Hold On Tight” and, um, “It’s Only Love.” Romantic, Paternal, Best Friend? As Halle Berry put it, “What do you know about love?” Hell, being at the Day Job, I have all sorts of thoughts. Besides hating the damn place, I know I don’t want to fall in love. I’m thirty-seven and already sure I’ll die alone. Braxton? I get emails about dogs, but I can never make a move. Another PetSmart Chihuahua? Lunalesca, I fucked that up. What about my Ma’s gift?

Yeah, I forgot about her other gift, and she was ever so grateful for the first one. So, of course, I became an asshole, Lu. Then again, B’s Aunt Indiana Gone is getting her gift. The money Amazon returned Lu, I spent on one more memorial pendant. Never forget B. This is why I’ve read two Wendy Van de Poll books. Started reading Kate McGahan. As the song goes, “Am I A Psycho?” If anything, more Republican than ever honest. Reading about dead children, dead pets. At least, unlike Republicans, there is no fix here. Braxton died almost a year ago. 342 days ago, to be exact. A bad week, try a terrible month, Lady Lu. He’s My Son, never forget. B Forgetful This Week

Gospel 191 ~The Island Will What…~

342 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 189 ~An A Or B~

WillLeave a comment

B was a gift to my sister. Only He’s My Son. I don’t know when I chose him, but he chose me. It was the day my Olds moved; I said, “get in the car, B,” and it was my car. Best choice we ever made. And this year, I’m already making bad ones. An A Or B

Thursday, January 6, 2022

Chronicle 189 ~An A Or B~

340 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It would be better if we were walking together, I bet. Me or the bridge?

I know I made that choice for you. Daddy knows best? Yeah, you knew me better than anyone, B. I can only imagine the choices I’ve had to make this week, with Time Travel and all. “Up there,” can you see the future, and if so, give me a hint, won’t you? That’s a no? Um, if you had a chance to save my life or not? B we saved each other lots of times. For the last one, B. One more apology, I owe you, or let’s see. I’m sorry I’m talking to you well now. I’m sorry for being so down on what should be a good day. B, what’s the last one? Like The Terminator, I killed you. And doing it again…

We’re getting close, Braxton, though it’s only day one right now… Anniversary. This morning, I began looking over my conversations around this time last year. Gospel 189 ~ Don’t Count On Will~ if you’re curious. I know I’m not, and it hurts, but I deserve it. Pain over pleasure B. I could take a nap this second, but I want to get this done. Yeah, we’ll be talking Sunday, I know. But, if I have any New Year’s Resolutions, one of them should be to make better choices. It’s much too late for that now after last night. Yes, it’s Sunday now. Speaking of time and being too late, oh and decisions. Well, I was all wrong. Other than loving you, my B III, Always.

I wish everything else was only STUPIDITY. It’s like the laptop desk sigh. Forgetting the days. Braxton, you know Sunday my Dead Time, as in The Walking Dead, and remember, Into The Badlands. Yeah, that was a good show. You were here. What’s your age again? Kidding B. But it wasn’t you. It was me that chose to end you B at 15. I feel STUPID. Not a choice but a statement of fact. Like I’ve started reading the days leading up to your last. Gospel 189 ~ Don’t Count On Will~. Beats, My Dog Has Died: What Do I Do? I’ll read more. Why? Because I’m an A and you’re a B, my B. I’m trying B. Choices, Walking Dead. An Or A B

Gospel 189 ~Don’t Count On Will~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 187 ~Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye B~

WillLeave a comment

It was only a kiss, yet I’d argue with B every morning. I know where his mouth has been. He didn’t seem to mind when I would kiss the top of his head. But he must have thought humans are weird. Well, kissing shuts humans up. “Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye B”

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Chronicle 187 ~Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, well, more like we are. Only mouths are better for other things. A kiss, Baby Girl.

You know I am some kinda way about my Olds, but if I remember anything good. Well, it was the fact that they always kissed each other goodbye before departing. An idea I’m hoping to continue with you despite what’s going on with me. Right now, it’s B, My Love. A New Year’s Kiss. Excuse me for being crass, well no, because I know you instead like me this way. Anyway, if I’m going to be kissing something HAIRY. It would be the top of B’s head. That’s another first; I couldn’t do that this year and never again. Tomorrow? Baby Doll, I keep thinking that. Denial is not just a river in Egypt. 338 Days of him not sitting on my head, My Love.

Sure, you sitting on my face is great and all. As I said, it’s been a while, and you know your man. If I wanted to get in trouble with you, why don’t you ask if I remember our first kiss? Don’t ever want to experience our last kiss. Now Braxton’s… Sunday, January 31, 2021. My firstborn got me more than prepared for our children crawling all over us. Death by kisses “What A Heavenly Way To Die” My Love. A thousand sweet kisses, “I’ll Cover You,” and our family. Yeah, I know Spotify again, remembering days, fucking Day Job. As I said, there are such things we can do with our mouths. Singing, hell, I should try again before saying something STUPID. But B…

Looks like crying every day over B isn’t changing in this new year. When I had to talk to the vet. And I gave her permission. Talking to a woman, and that’s what I do. Asshole! Braxton saw me as such, or was I still only his Daddy who wouldn’t take him home. The man that was going to let the vet and her assistant do these things. Explain Daddy, right? All I could do was hold him and kiss the top of his furry little head. I love you, I’m sorry, goodbye? If a kiss is good for anything, it shuts me up. It stops us from thinking love. Ha thinking before like Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~. Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye B

Gospel 187 ~Panic Does Not Serve You~

338 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 186 ~Squirrels Get Squished Not Chickens~

WillLeave a comment

I heard that you ain’t no kind of man without land. I know “a man provides” for his family. I ain’t got much, but I offer what I have to artists, assholes, adult entertainers. Sometimes you have to cross the road. Squirrels Get Squished Not Chickens.

Monday, January 3, 2022

Chronicle 186 ~Squirrels Get Squished Not Chickens~

Two-Hundred and Twenty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I’m $11.00 richer than yesterday. I’m a different man from last year or not, you think?

For the record, it’s still December 31, 2021. Time-Travel Madam, more so now. I wonder, will I stop spending so much money on Yabbos, make my list? B would “say” the best legs, breasts, and thighs are found in a bucket of chicken. Church’s chicken? Something else for me to hype today besides a pornstar. No, I don’t mean that as an insult in any sense, J. Sex workers, starlets, the sensuality of women I’m quite the fan of. I don’t hedge, hem, and haw, hide that fact at all. So why do I feel I’ve been squished for now? Fuck I crossed the road today, and all I want to do is cross back, Madam. I wasn’t wrong; was I? Trust your first instinct.

That’s why THEY ask why the chicken crossed the road instead of saying the poor thing. Hell, Madam, I’m a poor thing (cough) $11.00 (cough). I’m not going back, dammit. Madam, I always do this, but okay here we go. You know Maitland Ward? Much like every other bit of adult entertainment, she made the budget. So like I was telling Lady Sophia, I’m hanging out on OnlyFans. She says Good Morning, so do I and she starts flirting. I ain’t got any money, so better to remain silent. That’s me being a squirrel, J. Anyway, she calls me out, asking how much longer I’ll last not supporting her. $11.00 a month… So I say I’m sorry and bye and unsubscribe. I crossed the road.

When you’re a coward, they call you a chicken. But they get to the other side, don’t they, despite everything, Madam? And God, I’ve been fried, well burned plenty, Madam. Squirrels, on the other hand, are only thinking about their nuts. Madam, I’m aware, chickens, roosters, whatever. What about Milana Vayntrub; could’ve been Squirrel Girl? B III, like his Daddy, is pretty obsessed with Yabbos, but at the end of the day… Are we eating? My boy’s courage at the end, and I’m upset about a girl? I decided and I should make more choices like it. The choices that put money in my pocket and don’t cater to me being disrespected. Man or a mouse, Squirrel or Chicken. Well, Squirrels Get Squished Not Chickens.

337 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 185 ~In A 2nd B~

WillLeave a comment

I lost my “Toy Soldier,” a Real One, my second in command. You don’t go and get another one out of the blue. Instead, I think with all the seconds of the day, all the ones when he wanted to play, the words I wanted to say. When I wake up. In a 2nd B.

Sunday, January 2, 2022

Chronicle 185 ~In A 2nd B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as Eric Thomas put it. You love dreaming more than you love success. Well, Braxton’s there.

At least that’s what you wish you could say, isn’t it? Last night my work messed with your sleep. Not to mention all of my dickery. So I’m sorry and welcome to the new year. First, it looks plenty like the old one, doesn’t it? Hell, feels like I’m going to be apologizing to you all day. What is this, your second cry of the new year? This time last year, Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~. I was thinking that Braxton the Imp needed to get checked out. Damn, how you hate reading about your first failure of that year. Well, the only loss that mattered, sigh. I’ve said the epitome of manhood is that of fatherhood. Then I fail at Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Night Before, Dani Wyatt
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

First failures of many with the start of the new year. Yeah, you’re counting the seconds until the next one. I ain’t gonna lie to you; this week will suck. The good news is, you found a second way to HURT. Dangerous words. Self-harm by way of language. Remember when you thought that asking for another second was reasonable? Don’t worry, you will. Every day, I wish to gather all those seconds that Braxton wanted to spend with me and bottle them up. Let me squish them together and get a second chance to be the man I want to be, the father. You could do that instead of sitting in bed naked, thinking of how you’ll waste the day again. Opportunities, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading My Dog Has Died: What Do I Do
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of My B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That is if you aren’t too busy thinking about that third leg. Yeah, when you weren’t missing Braxton, your dreams weren’t the nicest… to some. Mind, body, and soul, or how about heart, soul, and mind. Well, Braxton is your heart. Your mind says, “Stay Alive.” With your soul, does that belong to the Devil or your doggie? Inevitably God. Bedazzled wasn’t that great of a movie, was it? Nowhere near your third favorite. So why live the life of a Third-Class Citizen? Three-Fifths, a man? Forever settling for third-place? Am I trying to be inspiring? Whether you want it or not, this week will come but not you. What The Fuck! Should have told the world to give a second. In a 2nd B

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

336 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 184 ~Have A B Year~

WillLeave a comment

Happy New Year… much too soon to tell. Braxton ain’t here so that counts as an epic fail in my book. Plus, it was always so simple to put him at the top of my New Year’s Resolutions. There’s so much to think about as I try to Have A B Year.

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Chronicle 184 ~Have A B Year~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I have my boy, my babe, so let’s begin. But no. Welcome To The Real World.

Last year it was Braxton and me on the couch. Well, when he wasn’t pacing or hiding. He was antsy because I was. And with all the fireworks and guns going off. It was one of the last battlefields we would share together. Of course, his final battles, getting to his Water Bowl. Wanting to come home. Why can’t I stay, Daddy? The first cry of the year, 7:50 AM. As for how I spent this New Year’s? My Ma brought her famous dip, and I paid one of my own bills. For real? A good question for another time. I said Happy New Year to the vixen from the UK, Cherry. Ditto to Carolina Bound and M Anime. When the moment came for me.

Well, I was sitting right here, Lunalesca. I was in bed buck naked, staring at Cherry’s “covered” Yabbos per usual. No, not doing that. I cleared out my phone, making sure pictures weren’t repeated in the gallery. What a way to start the New Year, am I right, Lady Lu? So now I have a new day, a new year. I’ve had a few hours, so Having A B Year:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6xr6VKg7sE
  1. I WILL learn to love, somehow I will learn How To Save A Life
  2. I WILL publish at least one book, a bestseller
  3. I WILL make one million dollars every single year
  4. I WILL write 400 Words every day (Goal 120,000)
  5. I WILL visit a brothel somewhere and also participate
  6. I WILL see a return. First significant investment
  7. I WILL produce adult films
  8. I WILL do NaNoWriMo
  9. I WILL have a relationship or sleep with some girl once a month minimum
  10. I WILL, at last, provide for myself and any of those deemed my family
  11. I WILL spend no more than $500 on Yabbos I can’t touch (Hentai Excluded)
  12. I WILL start work on my life goals Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  13. I WILL be FEARLESS

So as the eye doctor would say, “About the same?” What does #1 even mean? #10 is A Man Provides. #11, how many artists am I paying? Lots to do and without Braxton. Happy New Year. Have A B Year

335 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 182 ~Seeing You B Free~

WillLeave a comment

I am not going to bury my son; my son is going to bury me. Only my firstborn is my dog. I knew the day would come, but for fifteen years, more like seven days as I watched my world end, and that was back at the start of the year. “Seeing You B Free.”

Thursday, December 30, 2021

Chronicle 182 ~Seeing You B Free~

333 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I haven’t looked up in a while. “Don’t Look Up” yeah seems I’m obsessed B.

Only I couldn’t figure it out until I talked to your Aunt today (Tuesday). You know why you and I are talking so early. The Day Job sucks, and we got to talking about that Braxton. Do you remember when the three of us would sit on the loveseat watching movies? Those were fantastic times. Well, after you jumped all over her and she shared dinner. Anyway, so your Aunt asked me this morning um afternoon? I was out of it after fucking up last night, and I hope you didn’t see that. I watched you enough with your toy Braxton. So, I wrote to Dear Future Wife today, and I said that it’s because of my indifference you left me here. All my fault.

I shared it with Aunt Carolina. She asked whether I believed that indifference killed you. B? Like the song um, “Son what you don’t understand, my words might never explain.” So, of course, I leave it to a film, “Don’t Look Up.” I’m a mix of Drs. Mindy and Oglethorpe. Um, there are so many places I can go with that. Imagine me a Doc. The last Doc you saw. Anyway, Mr. B, so like Randall, I know what I know, and still, I lost myself. I wish I could say it was to the fame and the sex. How long have we lived here, B? Have you seen any girls in the bedroom? B III, zero, but yeah, “I just want to go home.”

It’s because you were always here, my dude. But that brings me to Teddy, who had nowhere to go. He spent his final time with friends but no family; he had no one B III. He said they tried, you know. They saw the end, what became the inevitable Braxton. So, that brings me to you and the conversation I had with your Aunt. I knew the day was coming that I would be without you. And like all the other characters in “Don’t Look Up.” I didn’t pay any mind B. Anything with my pleasures, gratification, hedonism, oh yes. Even when it came to my hate, give me more. But to you, my very son, the one I love. Sigh Seeing You B Free

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 180 ~A Year To B~

WillLeave a comment

15, B would have been 16. I made it to 37, and I’ll be 38, 39, 40, oh no? The eighties suck, and people talk a lot about 2020, but 2021 was the worst year of my life. How I survived without my boy. And do you see any family around here? “A Year To B”

Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Chronicle 180 ~A Year To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so what else is there to look forward to? My indifference is what got Braxton killed.

The man that has everything but his best friend… As long as Braxton’s been gone and as long as we’ve been together. “Oh, baby, I love you, just leave me the fuck alone,” as the song plays. Which you did, considering what time I woke up this morning. Fucking up? Baby Doll, I know I am, even worse than the plague year. I went back over Gospel 177 ~It’s Christmas, Willie B~ last year at Christmas. To think we could survive the pandemic but this? This year has been the worse of my entire life. Beating out the eighties, wow. Baby girl, of course, that has nothing to do with you. You’ve been here, but as for me. Hell, I’m still stuck in seven days.

A year to a dog is seven years, or so THEY guess. How many years does that make 331 Days? You know I suck at Math, Music, Making Love? When’s the last time Baby Doll? It’s four days until the new year, and I don’t know where to begin. I’ll be 38. That’s next E-Day. Will I see Braxton’s Aunt before the new year? I say I’m a billionaire, however… Yeah, I can’t hear B III. You’ve been trying, screaming, crying, you love me. Besides “Don’t Look Up,” there have been soundtracks. Just Look Up, Memento Mori, Fourth of July. Ironic, the Fourth of July, the noise. And the same will be heard for new year’s. Will you still be here for me, My Love?

I wouldn’t blame you. I’ve told you the tale of how I was planning on taking my own life years ago. I say planning because I was only starving myself. Braxton saved my life, and I knew he needed me, so I would always say, I’ll be back. Fucking Terminator. Anyway, I made you the same promise, Always and Forever. With all the family that turned their backs on me, why would I ever want to be them? Yet this whole year with Braxton being gone. Sunday, January 31, 2021. It’s been all him. Come the first, I have no resolutions as yet. I’m not going anywhere, neither is B, but how about you. A year of beginnings, books, baby, brats, A Year To B.

331 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will