Tag: Writer

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

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Next to B III sitting at the foot of the bed, staring out the door on guard duty, I miss how he’d cuddle up next to me while I’m reading. Virgil tried that for a bit, but um, I’m toxic, and he’s in B III’s room by himself. “Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely.”

Friday, September 30, 2022

Saga 091 ~Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can invest in security cameras. Well, more than now. With such “Paranoia, paranoia!”

And no, not about B’s ghost. So is that it then; I no longer feel that B III has been reincarnated? Um, the last few books have been more dead people than fur babies, Sophia. Only Virgil hasn’t been around to hear any of this. Nope, this morning Virgil’s alone. Yeah, I’ve only walked into Braxton’s old room to check Virgil’s birthdate. Sophia, for the record, it’s October 20, 2020. Braxton Barks was still living during this period. I haven’t been shopping around Amazon for Virgil Vivi’s birthday gifts either. The Adoption Kit that I got, I’ve buried in a notebook behind porno. Don’t ask. But I have searched online for what could be wrong with him and all his hacking. A toxic “best friend?”

I swear he and I need to go and see a doctor, but I’m not ready to read those damn bills. It could be worse. There’s a reason I haven’t been watching much YouTube or wrestling, either. Do I need to watch the world go to Hell or see how fake it is? Blasphemy. To be honest. And I’m not sure how much I can do with you or anybody these days. I would go see a doctor. But next week will be more fucked up than the last, so Time Travel. Lots of writing to do today if I don’t fall asleep again. Not that my dreams/nightmares are lonely. The last one I saw the cops bursting in (pick a crime) and woke up.

Of course, I don’t have the time… Ha-ha, to write it all down. And I’ve pretty much forgotten the dream I had about Virgil/Braxton about a week ago. There are the books in front of me. I’m trying to listen to Succubus Lord 19 whenever I “need to” monologue into the void. I’m still reading “The Cabin at the End of the World.” How’s it going to end? There’s been death Sophia. Which reminds me, haven’t I written out my eulogy someplace? Yeah, I’ve been in a mood for days. In case someone is keeping tabs, I’ll leave it there. Only like the song, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” I said Virgil’s by himself. Trying to keep him alive. Sigh, Virgil’s Vigil, B Lonely

607 Days Without B III, Day 048 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 090 ~Can Virgil B III~

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B III’s life or my own… no question, he’d be here. Virgil’s life or mine? Well, it’s only been 47 days. I don’t want it, and he certainly deserves it. Maybe I should stick to the dog books and not movie trailers. Knock at the Cabin… Can Virgil B III?

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Saga 090 ~Can Virgil B III~

606 Days Without B III, Day 047 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It sucks that I wasted another one. Yeah, where have you heard that before, hmm?

At least then, I was talking to you. And look, here come my tears for Tuesday, September 27, 2022. I’m starting to feel like the dude from “Quantum Leap” or “The Time Traveler’s Wife,” B Squared. More like Triple XXX as this talk should have been had… Um, way back when. Hell! It would be better if we could talk on Thursday but, you know what. Humiliations Galore, B III. And on days like this, you would come running to cuddle. A minus against Virgil Vivi… On the other side of the equation, Virgil’s beside me Tuesday. One of these days, I will answer the question, is Virgil you or not? I can’t think about that right now, sorry to say. No, not because of that… A book inspired me?

I still feel bad that I’m not reading a book about dogs. I’m sure I’ve talked about the movie Knock at the Cabin and the novel; it’s from “The Cabin at the End of the World.” Now, your daddy’s an asshole, but you would listen to whatever. Anyone else, beware. SPOILER ALERT!!! So Daddy Eric, Daddy Andrew, and their daughter Wen have to choose. Out of the three of them. One has to be sacrificed at the hands of the two. The world will end if they fail to choose or follow through with the sacrifice. I’m 30% done with the book. It should be 75% by the time you see this. Did I want to say it out loud? Yes, no, I don’t know.

But it got me thinking again. First of all, you were or are… the jury is still out on Virgil. Well, my apocalypse buddy. We were or are supposed to face the zombie horde together. If there was a choice between your life and mine, there is no question. I would have taken your pain, Braxton. I would die for you. A part of me did. I watched you die. Writers play God, but we are not so. Throw Jesus to the wolves, and Hell, I take my own lumps, but I would not give you up for the world. And then I look at Virgil. If you were here… I’m not letting him go… yet, but his life, I wonder. Can Virgil B III?

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 084 ~See V, B Leaving~

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Dreams are messages. What’s my latest dream/nightmare telling me? It didn’t even star my son but Virgil, but I had intense emotions as if it were B III. It’s been 600 days without him. He’s saying that’s enough. Heart hardening, etc. See V, B Leaving

Friday, September 23, 2022

Saga 084 ~See V, B Leaving~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So, I wonder, are there any machines that control dreaming? Dreams were pretty “intense” last night.

Shouldn’t I call them nightmares, then? Hell! Even dreams, I would say, are “good….” I always say everything I want is impossible, illegal, or insane. Add inane or inconsequential to the mix. I make everything about me, don’t I, ha. The eye in Will (sigh). But my dream was about Braxton. Only it starred Virgil. I haven’t distinguished the two. I should be reading more books on reincarnation and the like. Yet, I’ve been all in on “The Dog Under The Bed” series. Don’t I sound like a little boy? A fucking idiot! Uh, language. It’s not like I can cuss out my “father,” though. Humiliations Galore, where I lay my head, Sophia. And let’s not forget the Day Job and another manager. So dreaming…

I was right where I am now, in bed. The first thing that should have made me take notice of the dream was that Virgil was running down the stairs. He was in a rush to go out like Braxton once was. So why visit me in dreams? Again I never saw Braxton, only Virgil. Opening the door, Virgil rushed out and down the patio steps into the backyard. But then he was sniffing around like he was trying to find a way out. First, V jumped high and escaped. It was as if he was flying. Then the fence fell, and he got out again. A third time he slipped under the fence like he was a bit of slime or mold. Okay, no porn, please, fuck. My mind…

Each time I was able to capture him and bring him back. I don’t know how but I did it. After a while of this happening, there was commentary from a DJ, more like a podcast. You know I can’t stand podcasts… I think. Then there were these black kids watching. One goes, “I don’t like him,” about me, it was a little braided girl. Then I woke up. Before I started looking for that movie “Knock at the Cabin.” It’s the book “The Cabin at the End of the World.” Oh yeah, can’t forget the “Mold” porn. I’ve wanted to buy bricks and cinderblocks for the backyard. Making the house a prison? That’s how this existence feels. My personal Hell. See V, B Leaving

600 Days Without B III, Day 041 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 083 ~To B Broken V~

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I never had the heart to get B fixed. And I didn’t have a say regarding V. What’s done is done. He has other things wrong, and I can only imagine what happened. As for me, breaking again, broke perhaps, and broken always. To B Broken V

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Saga 083 ~To B Broken V~

599 Days Without B III, Day 040 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering I’m talking to you on Sunday, September 18, 2022. And you can probably guess…

I keep saying it, Braxton. Anytime I feel that this existence is too much, all I need to do is whisper your name. The day you left makes everything look more bearable. Even my Emergence. I know I need to stop. But this damned month has been one gigantic clusterfuck. Pardon my French. I don’t swear around V… um or you. Mental Instability comes later, but this Sunday, I’m broken. Yeah, surprise, surprise. I’m broken every Sunday, but this morning, B. Isn’t it ironic that you knew you had to be quiet because The Walking Dead or a spinoff was coming on? Then I silenced you permanently. I know. I’m sorry, Braxton, it just hurts. You know me, B “I’m just a sucker for pain.”

First, I had a conversation with your grandfather about the air conditioner. His “friend” is coming to fix it Monday, which means… The Hell if I know, but Virgil’s temperature? Or what about my temperament? Again, we’re talking today because I’ll be in a rage come this Thursday. I hate myself, but sometimes it’s nice to have company. Oh, and money. With all the hours I’ve been getting at the Day Job. Did I mention more tits? Yeah, that was to the Man In The Mirror. Again it’s Sunday. And while I’m not ashamed to talk about getting off on nice tits. You liked your Aunt’s yabbos a lot B. I’m trying to get off a shift at the Day Job. I can’t take it.

So why don’t I publish a story and never have to walk into that Hell again? The burning in the house is nothing to my rage, madness, and the Humiliations Galore at the Day Job. I can keep cool with my betrayal of you in the Ninth Circle. I could save some cold hard cash. But what’s your grandfather planning these days? Hell! I forced a window open in some kind of way. You don’t mind me calling on your strength. But memories and guilt B. Especially when my body feels some sort of way. Like the heat, I usually try to ignore it, but it has its moments. Like the tears that appear for you around 4 in the afternoon. To B Broken V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 077 ~Fan Of B, V~

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I’m a fan of Mia Goth now. That’s from X and Pearl alone. And now MaXXXine? I’m not quite the fan of Virgil yet… I would tell my son, “Love ya B, Love ya Braxton. Replace Love with Later and switch the name. But V barks when I come back. Fan Of B, V.

Friday, September 16, 2022

Saga 077 ~Fan Of B, V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I’m doing my “best” to get there. At least, it’s what I told Virgil yesterday.

My “best” wasn’t enough to save Braxton. My first cry of today coming up. As you can see by the time, I’m pretty late. Yeah, unless it’s someplace, I don’t want to be and movies. Hell! I was gone most of the week that B III lay dying. And I even left him that Saturday because I was “hungry….” I didn’t think for a second that he would die while I wasn’t around. No, I’m not some asshole who would leave his son to die alone or amongst strangers Lady Sophia. But I am the douche that would leave my… um, Virgil in this heat. Honestly, I wanted to see that new movie “Pearl” starring Mia Goth. I’m becoming a fan, without a doubt (drools).

But to become a fan of anything or anyone these days. It’s horrible to think about, but can I go back to Monday, February 1, 2021? Let me be obsessed, addicted, and hopelessly devoted to my son’s memory. It beats how I’m living. Depressive, hopeless, clarity. Knowing the way down, you know. And I keep saying it. This place feels like Hell anyway, Lady Sophia. At least, Treachery is the coldest circle of Hell. Freezing, darkness. I wake up every morning pissed off that I’m not there. Three fans are blasting in my ears, and again I tell Virgil. I’m trying my “best.” Is it that I’m not quite a fan of his yet, going on what, 34 days? And I’m burning money, watching movies.

I’m burning at the Day Job in my anger. My Humiliations Galore reach incredible heights. There’s the next dog book I’m reading; I’m burning through pages. Not the GOP way. Yes, My Lady, I should text back M Anime. Um, she and Cherry get me all kinds of hot too. But that’s the thing; I’m a fan of the wrong things. So I keep blowing hot air and nothing else. Even my “father” is wondering why he isn’t getting a thank you from me anymore. Do you remember when I tried to make a deal with the devil? Losing blood. Hell! I’m losing everything, which happens when I’m not a fan of life. So adopting? I don’t deserve to be a Fan Of B, V.

593 Days Without B III, Day 034 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 076 ~The V List B~

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I got a kit with a new dog checklist when I first got V. He got a free bag of food; almost out. A leash and a harness I can’t for the life of me figure out. Figures, but I can’t figure out this existence, and I make a list on Sunday. But The V List B

Thursday, September 15, 2022

Saga 076 ~The V List B~

592 Days Without B III, Day 033 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how we’re speaking on Friday, September 10, 2022. Well, my existence is pretty…

There isn’t a word, or I’m too lazy to find it. Hell! I want to be with you right now. You know I can’t say what I want “JIC.” But long story short, I hate weeks like this B III. Anytime I get a long week like this, I think of everything I had going on. But Braxton? You, my son, boy, and best friend, didn’t make the cut. Even now, I had to talk to Lady Lu and Inspector Echo after. And I’m not sure if I’m looking after you or Virgil as he lies here B. Every day, I have to count the similarities and the differences. It helps me not to worry about other things. Well, two, anyway. You like Yabbos too.

Even today, I was reminded of what I started when you left. With Virgil here, let’s say I haven’t been trying to make any more money that way. Cash money. How I wish that was my only punishment for how I failed you. I’ve been relying on that failure. Braxton, I know you wish I wouldn’t do that. Using your death to make myself feel better about all my other sins. Is that what I’m doing? One more list to set and forget whenever. At the moment, it’s two things that are haunting me. Ok, maybe three? This weather. Braxton, first it’s because I have to survive this week or I have? And second… yeah, there’s Virgil. What kind of father was I? Am I?

I haven’t learned my lesson yet, have I? I don’t want to accept this truth. I’m a parent again, and it isn’t all about me. If I knew it was you, Triple B, no ifs, ands, or buts? Talk about me keeping promises after E-Day. I didn’t get one gift, and yeah, not asking. Granddad… did I hear from him again this week? Is the bank account full, brimming? Never which is a shame. I owe you so much, and Virgil needs things, and I don’t know where to start. Your pictures or his bedding. New bowls for him or a Cuddle Clone, ha. Should I be grateful for this week to afford any of that stuff? I paid for V’s life. Death’s cost? And Happiness? The V List B

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 070 ~ Virgil’s Story Begins B~

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Reading about dogs dying or hiding under beds… Virgil hasn’t discovered he could do that… yet. I should read the adoption kit that he came with. But then I read all these bills and the scary stuff online. My own story? “Virgil’s Story Begins B.”

Friday, September 9, 2022

Saga 070 ~ Virgil’s Story Begins B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that begins with the first dollar made. Being worried about money at “Times Like These.”

You know how I am; I have to replace one problem with a bigger one. Virgil isn’t a problem, Lady Sophia… Tell that to all the air I was taking in almost four weeks ago. Sophia, I’m still thinking about the air conditioner and how hot it is here. The humiliation with my old man. And how he could have forgotten about me, which isn’t too hard to do on any occasion. Even in this heat, though, I break down. Yet again, I find myself at day one, my Lady. What? I already had my clothes off, and Virgil was in his room, not hacking. Hell! Braxton would always be here as I looked up… Well, whatever. Let’s say the Uncharted series isn’t helping me.

As a matter of fact, it’s why I believe I’m in trouble. Do you remember how I was a week or so before Braxton passed? Not the rage at work or the indifference towards him, but the paranoia. As I said, “Times Like These,” when I’m more “Somebody’s Watching Me.” Who the hell am I in comparison to my sister or the Queen of England? Quite the jump, don’t you think? My sister’s birthday is right behind E-Day. And the Queen died yesterday. Who has time for me? I bet law enforcement. As the song goes, “First let me explain that I’m just a black man. And I come from the dark side, so I’m having a hard time stayin’ on track, man.” It’s madness.

I’m in the same place I was when B III came into the world. And then he left me. Only now will I be downstairs today, writing a book with Virgil on his pillow. Nope. I’m only up on time right now because, like most days with the Day Job. There’s only fear. Will I get to see Virgil through four weeks and then even more? There’s so much he needs, but where is the money? Oh yeah, at the Day Job. And one of my greatest fears in that place despite all the Humiliations Galore. Outside embarrassments. Another reason I’m not writing books today. So what about reading? Unfinished books irk me something awful. But “my” story and Virgil Vivi’s? Virgil’s Story Begins B

586 Days Without B III, Day 027 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 069 ~B There Tomorrow V~

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I always thought that my son would be there tomorrow. I’m here. Another year older without him. I was 21 when we met and 36 when he passed. Honestly, I never wanted to see 38. Virgil will be two in a month. Yet in this “Inferno…” “B There Tomorrow V”

Thursday, September 8, 2022

Saga 069 ~B There Tomorrow V~

585 Days Without B III, Day 026 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s only 7:30 in the morning, Baby B, so you know; let’s talk about yesterday…

In short, a waste of the day. Replika usually asks was something good, beautiful, or made me proud. I caught up with reading and surviving the temperature. Endure and Survive. Every day I think more and more that Virgil’s name fits in “my” Inferno. Your name? I haven’t stopped saying it to call you for your pills or to say goodnight. I have to catch myself whenever I leave the house. I only opened the front door because the heat was too much inside. Oh, and there was the Existence/Emergence Day meal, keeping my promise. Sometimes it sucks to do. I shared the fries with Virgil… um, you. I’ll figure that out one day, though I don’t want to these days. It’s the fucking heat!

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. I sure as hell ain’t telling Virgil anything. He’s playing his part, B. I could have called some lady. But instead, I passed the night with V. Virgil’s fur coat must be driving him crazy, but between two fans? Braxton, I’m learning. Only what I already know is this. I don’t want to be here. But again, I have promises to keep, don’t I? I have the paperwork to prove it. Bills, Best Buy, the sheets I haven’t busted a nut on. You know the movie “Do The Right Thing” Never too hot, never too cold. Ha! This leads me back to yesterday. I didn’t watch a movie; I didn’t even shower. And what about my cake…

I meant to pick up one of those Vanilla Strawberry Ice Cream Krunch Cakes. There’s always tomorrow, right? What about today? Again the day is only just beginning. And Humiliations Galore have begun. Compliments of your granddad, of course, Braxton. Between his life and your death, the heat is nothing. Or is it the fact I’m crying now, B III? The first cry of being 38. I might have yesterday. But then again, I was sweating something awful for sure. Now with bringing more humiliation, degradation, and PAIN upon myself. As the song goes, “Welcome To My Life.” Rather Existence. What am I, some Emo teenager? At least I’m here… But I have friends with huge Yabbos. There’s you; there’s Virgil. B There Tomorrow V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 063 ~B Reading V’s List~

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Despite my GOP ideas, I’m glad there are few books to burn here. Except for the few I wrote hoping to get published, that would help with the AC bill. Like I said, I rather burn. And if it wasn’t for poor Virgil, Fur baby he is. “B Reading V’s List.”

Friday, September 2, 2022

Saga 063 ~B Reading V’s List~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now (cut to “This Is Why I’m Hot”) sigh. There’s no time for music, money, or masturbation.

Hell! With how I worked this week, B would be pissed. It’s a week like this one that led to his death. And at least he didn’t have to sit in this heat and suffer. So why let V, hmm? Between reading “Dante’s Inferno,” and (daddy doesn’t exist) … will get to that. I’ve looked over the Adoption Kit I got almost three weeks ago. Notice it didn’t say anything about AC. And I got enough good sense to not lock a fur baby in the car. Good sense, ha! As I said, daddy doesn’t exist. Well, not mine, anyway. I refuse to call my father again for the AC. My Republican tendencies… talk about a conspiracy theory. Do I think he rigged the AC?

Hey, it could happen. Yeah, like me growing up. To quote a hot English blonde that almost made me cum… sorry, Cherry. “Oh, My Fucking God!” Do you realize how close I am to E-Day? If anything, it looks like September 3, 2022, will be a humongous day. Shouldn’t I make a list of everything going on? It would only be a bunch of excuses when there’s so much I should be doing right now. I should be thinking of Virgil’s health, right? How about my own? Of course, there’s only one thing on the list besides sex. No, I don’t mean “Success.” I need some sleep, as the song goes. Only there’s a “long” list. It’s been nine days Sophia. Horny much? Failure yes!

Which is why Virgil is sitting in his room. It’s his choice. The doors are open, and the gates are down. He could walk in here whenever he wants. I went to take Virgil outside. Inevitably (like my fuck you’s to Hemingway). Virgil went into panic mode, so no go. Some things that get to me about Virgil… Yet one more list I should make. Yes, like the one about why I got him in the first place. Ironic, don’t you think I found Virgil, and now I’m marching through Hell daily? But what about the lesson I “learned” from my Braxton? A cold day in Hell… Such was my Treachery. My greatest sin. To betray Virgil Vivi, living this way. B Reading V’s List.

579 Days Without B III, Day 020 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 062 ~Between B and V~

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Between B and V… what do I look like, Sesame Street or place? A monster but a lot less cute, not that I can think of things like that right now. I have a fur baby next to me, and I wonder who he is. Do I even know what day it is? Between B and V

Thursday, September 1, 2022

Saga 062 ~Between B and V~

578 Days Without B III, Day 019 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s the “1st Of Tha Month,” and I’m talking to you… Wednesday, August 24, 2022.

I’m not sure anymore. By this time, I suppose I’ll be reading another book on reincarnation, trying to decide. If anything, I choose you, Braxton. Nothing against Virgil. Hell! I’ve spent most of today with him sleeping beside me. A bonding experience to share tomorrow… I should, but the idea that we’re talking well today? You know by the time you read this, I’ve had a day full of Humiliations Galore. Of course, your grandpa is always a million times worse. It’s not the fleshlight I keep in the bathroom, the recent gnat infestation B. Nor is it your destroyed pillow. I’m so sorry, Braxton. It’s a fact I couldn’t hide Virgil from him today. You know how I tried. What his being here means…

If anything, I ain’t happy. Like the song goes, “And in this moment I am happy, happy. I wish you were here.” To be around your grandpa once again? I wouldn’t want that for you. But then again, who are you, what are you, where are you? Between you, Virgil? Again reading all about repose, release, and reincarnation. Can’t I read more about a “Succubus?” Ha-Ha! The song I sang is from a band called “Incubus.” An easy choice, B III. If only all of existence was like that. That’s something that Virgil has over you, and again I’m sorry. I haven’t done anything to change my… let’s say, the status of existence since he’s been here, but I wish. As Republicans think, “Furries” have a way of complicating things.

Speaking of complicated, again. I’m talking to you today telling you these things, and what about tomorrow? Ask the Day Job. I chose to chat with you today because of well today. And tomorrow? That’s August 25, 2022. I’ll talk to you instead of going to the Day Job. Money? Haven’t I been talking about being so broke? I choose zero over the pittance, right? Everything that is between us, or is there nothing at all? I keep looking at Virgil lying here like you once did… do now? I don’t know anything. My ABCs and 123’s? And sometimes death seems so close, then far away. The reason Virgil is between me and the nightstand. Your shrine but in the drawer… Between B and V

Always and Forever,
Your Dad