Tag: Dæmon

Gospel 354 ~B Cause You’re Dad~

WillLeave a comment

First Father’s Day in 15 years, I’m without B III. So what? I was in my twenties and didn’t start thinking such a thing until 30. My Father still has to deal with me to our mutual shame. “B: Cause You’re Dad,” B would think but to be a good one?

Sunday, June 20, 2021

Gospel 354 ~B: Cause You’re Dad~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you would rather be a Dad again. It’s the reason you want the billons after all.

Well, besides never having to talk to your “father” ever again. Of course, you know what you have to do this morning, right? Tell me something, are you going to apologize for his birthday too? Being a father is a sacred thing, and oh, we’ll get to your sacrilege soon. Today no matter what side of the line you’re on, it sucks to be you. A bit harsh, I know. Which one would you like to focus on? The fact of it being Father’s Day but no B. How about the shame that you’re 36, and you still depend on yours for everything? There’s a lot of media talking about; you’re no kind of man without any land. Takes a man to be a Daddy.

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 15 (Succubus Lord #15) by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

How about doing these Six Impossible Things you were forgetting about. Yeah, you were much too busy thinking about your failures as a son. Your Father? Now I get to leave this problem to you. He is much better with raising daughters or his Rottweilers. Am I being a bit preachy or judgmental much this Sunday? You can blame M Anime for her views of fatherhood or God. Hell, wasn’t Lucifer, the most rebellious son? Oh, Jacob rejected Lucifer. That’s from one of Eric Vall’s book series. Talk about being a Dad… You’re no man. Looking at Eric Vall write 100 novels, and you’re sitting here bitching about your Father. Honestly, you’re not rebellious and considering who’s paying, you’re not rejected. Boy, you’re retarded. I’ll stop, but Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 16 (Succubus Lord #16) by Eric Vall
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You have to get these done and why. Braxton would look at you, and you’d know. You’re his Dad, and if you couldn’t, then who would. Whether it was carrying him to bed, protecting him on his walks, or surviving this world. If it hadn’t been for B III always. Dammit, you can’t talk to your Father, but you could speak to Braxton anytime. Listen… Apparently not to me because this isn’t a good day, but to your son. If you had before, he would still be alive. I’m being an asshole today, I know, and this week’s gonna suck. Number 6 of Impossible Things shouldn’t be. Here come the tears. B hopped in the car, and with his last breath, Braxton believed in you, Will. B: Cause You’re Dad

140 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 353 ~No B In Emancipation~

WillLeave a comment

Emancipation, Acceptance, Survivor are big words, yet we wonder why we rather say “I” despite who it hurts. THEY say I set him free and if I had to do it again… To be a better friend, father, forgo my freedom, for there’s “No B In Emancipation.”

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Gospel 353 ~No B In Emancipation~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so there are some “I’s” when it comes to whatever I’m doing. Here come the tears

Not for Juneteenth. I’m pleased with the holiday, which was celebrated Friday, being a federal holiday and all. This weekend too. I’m a man of my word ha-ha about some plans for today. Of course, that’s why I woke up late, 7:00 AM. What a way to start the day, don’t you agree? So you want me to explain the crying AHEM, Tradition! Braxton got his walking papers, was emancipated, got his shots, and now here I am. Today I go in for the COVID Vaccine, a first dose. Yeah, B III got his back to back as I sat there, my eyes wide open, Lu. My Arms Wide Open but we’ll get to that. Should we talk about how offensive I’m being right now?

I’m not trying to, but I’m learning freedom can be. What’s so offensive in Acceptance? Such a belief that Braxton would always be here for me. Comparing Life with Death. Believing in such things as the greater good, the bigger picture. Hell, just sitting here. Wasn’t it, last week, I told myself that I better not waste the entire week I was off and free? What are you going to do with freedom? I tell you, Lady Lu, not a damn thing to save me. At least if B was here, I could say as the song goes, “You Were Loved.” I set him free. Didn’t I, like it was any given Sunday, but it’s Saturday, yeah. If you love someone, set them free, right?

Yes, I must remind you and me that I’m not suicidal… currently taking this vaccine. Yet I’m reminded of The Cure by Sonia Levitin. Braxton and I being “Recycled” together. I would have taken that deal. How about making this choice last night to survive? Remember, Six: The Mark Unleashed “I still remember the last free choice I ever made. It was the wrong choice.” I am a free man, a black man, an American. But I serve, we do. With it all, B III wanted to stay until his last breath. I think of his eyes; sigh. “Why Daddy?” Braxton’s freedom from the suffering, the sickness, the sinner that I remain after 139 Days. Slaves waited years for liberty. Mine… No B In Emancipation

139 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 347 ~Week of B Ads~

WillLeave a comment

What will I be tempted to buy this week? Unlike Ice Cube, “Just wakin’ up in the morning, gotta thank God,” nope. More like Ed Sheeran, “It’s too cold outside For angels to fly,” or hot and Dakota Skye was. “Week of B Ads,” yeah, Braxton’s still gone

Sunday, June 13, 2021

Gospel 347 ~Week of B Ads~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but neither of us is getting any ads on bedroom furniture. Seems THEY know we got this.

Sleeping on the job, I mean. The real work to be done, so of course, I’m not talking about the Day Job. I accomplished this without Braxton to watch over me. Will you do the same? “Stuff and Thangs” calls to you or, more to the point, SHE does or SHE will. I saved some scratch, and I would ask that you do the same, no matter the sizable Yabbos. Speaking on those, an Ad for Fox News reported some terrible news this morning. Dakota Skye, a.k.a. Lauren Scott, was found dead. She was one of the greats; personal favorite. Sharing such tragedies, may she Rest In Peace. Isn’t that what you’re going to try and do this week? Not suicidal with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Jegudiel by Tillie Cole
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001) No Fap
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Obsessed with these things because you keep writing them down. I said something about this to your Dear Future Wife, Gospel 342 To B Level Man. It’s about writing problems. Although being fair, I didn’t spend any of yesterday answering what was once my queries. Right now, besides honoring Braxton (you do that…)? You want to find Dakota Skye’s goodies. That brings you to the whole point of today and the idea of more Internet Security. The fact that even Fox News was able to get your attention. If it’s not them, it’s more ads showing the way to the Rainbow Bridge. Let’s not forget devices for “Stuff And Thangs.” How about books from Tillie Cole and Eric Vall. You’re busy writing Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 15 (Succubus Lord #15) by Eric Vall
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Best said in The Boondocks by Riley Freeman, “cause you’s a bitch.” Ok, I’m the same. I wasted a week, and you’ll do the same, right? Tell the truth and shame the Devil, hmm? To think this is what B III kept you for, to do nothing. When it came time to save him, there was not one single Ad for any drugs. Sure there’s a can of dog food I threw away. All of his medications still rest on the kitchen counter. I spent hundreds on a box. Please do not make a crass sex joke there on other things to spend your money on. Um (cough) $150 (cough) Maitland Ward (cough) Onlyfans nope. Um, vaccine… if you die… no Week of B Ads.

133 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lauren Scott 27
Dakota Skye
May 3, 1994
―
June 9, 2021
Rest In Peace

Gospel 346 ~Be Something B Cause~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve said this before, how my Ma would say, I would find my way. My aunt would say I wanted to destroy the world. She was wrong “in a way,” I only ended my world, which is why Braxton ain’t here. Be Something B Cause it’s getting hard to breathe

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Gospel 346 ~Be Something B Cause~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I were Eric Thomas, I’d be a millionaire. I know what’s what. I’m here.

It’s 4:30 in the morning, and Eric Thomas wakes up at 3:00. Hell Lady Lu, I’ve woken up at 2:00 for far less money and for what. We both know the answer to that. At the same time, I have stayed up until 4:00 in the morning. So like a Backstreet Boy, tell me why. 132 days, and like the moon, which is your namesake, B III’s smell has yet to disappear. At the moment, he is lending me his strength, giving me focus, purpose, cause. I have a dream, and now it’s time to put that vision into action. Perhaps this is merely insanity. Haven’t I mentioned Eric Thomas, The Backstreet Boys, and MLK in the span of a few minutes? It’s too early.

Which is what I told myself when Braxton lay dying. I’m not ready yet, but I’m a fighter, a friend, a father. Any of that sounds better than a Freight Associate; excuse me, I’m more Operational now. But, of course, that would be fine if I was building Death Stars. First off, and I believe I’ve told you or one of the girls before, my aunt was wrong. Destroying worlds is not something I agree with. Yet, I would take that in comparison to what I do for a “living.” Only this week, I’ve squandered extensively so many days, yep. To think I would use Braxton as an excuse, but he was also a reason. Now he is but a memory driving these words forward.

I found myself in the store yesterday questioning what’s it all for. I stood in the same spot I once had on January 31, picking out a digital frame for his pictures. Yes, tears Lady Luna. Ironic I don’t want him to see me now as I picked out a tripod to hold my phone for “Stuff And Thangs.” I still haven’t quit that foolishness… what about my vow and everything? I can’t keep saying tomorrow; how about July when I write my book about him. With all the letters I have ready to go, and it could always be my laziness in the end. Last year I had a few months to think, not do. Braxton, give me strength to Be Something B Cause.

132 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 340 ~To Live After BD~

WillLeave a comment

The greatest failure of my life is losing my son. Only this week’s “mistake seems as cruel as ever and especially heinous. A weird way to look at “Stuff And Thangs,” don’t you think? “To Live After BD?” I haven’t liked thinking about it for 126 days.

Sunday, June 6, 2021

Gospel 340 ~To Live After BD~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now and pathetic, but to be sure, so are you. The things THEY say about money but you?

It’s not the lack of return, and you for damn sure remember. No, it’s the lack of physical restraint. God, if Braxton were here, you would not be running around the way you are. I was in the store yesterday dreaming up methods to make money because of the Day Job. Yeah, I don’t want to go, and you’re definitely pissed about the prospect. Well, that comes next to being fucking mad at yourself, no doubt. I’ve been the same this week; ashamed, anxiety-ridden, an asshole. However, to make it stop without quitting, answers, please. Only you don’t have any because I didn’t either. A greater one would be how to live without B III? Why not get this over with, failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Spontaneous by Aaron Starmer
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 156 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001) No Fap
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

How you hate writing these words. Failed is going to have to go up there with the most hated words. While you’re on the subject of that, what about your writing for “Stuff And Thangs.” You think no one wants to see that. Then they’re not looking at you either. You’ve grown used to it, well, not your teeth which is one more thing you should add to the Impossible, right? Hell living in this moment of BD should be just that. I was telling M Anime only last night. There’s no clue what I’m doing. This morning isn’t different. Yeah, the rage is coming back, the ANGER. You got to be mad at something, and it should be you and yeah, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Jegudiel by Tillie Cole
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Was I honoring Braxton by becoming a monk? As you can see, I have yet to work on getting that tattoo. He still sits on your nightstand. Today is day 126 since the beginning of BD, or should you say AB. No matter what, the truth will always remain; Failed. Dammit, what if it is the onset of Depression only instead, not crying with your eyes? That’s something that hasn’t changed in all 126 days, my tears, a moment in time to remember. Yes, to take all the blame. Acceptance, don’t ever dare imagine anything. Braxton is gone, and that loss can never be borne by anyone but you. Maybe you’re not so pathetic, hmm. Keep it in your pants. Breathe. To Live After BD

126 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 339 ~It’s Not B Con~

WillLeave a comment

Convict, Con Man, “Comic-Con,” okay, I’ve only been a bit of a cheat. I went to Juvenile hall once, and why I’ve wanted to go to Comic-Con. There’s plenty I want to see. My son, alive again. I can never forget him. Only, “It’s Not B Con” lately.

Saturday, June 5, 2021

Gospel 339 ~It’s Not B Con~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I ask myself, what am I doing wrong? I’m not jailed, cheating, hosting a panel.

No, my Lazy Ass, Lady Lu. Like today I said I was going to write out my dreams. There was the one where I was playing hockey, all D2: The Mighty Ducks. I’m pretty offended. In one more vision, I had a stalker and not the pretty Autumn Reeser as Taylor Townsend. He was a white man, and nobody heard me until I found his shoes in a plastic case. Last night I dreamed I was at work, and I got into trouble for “Stuff And Thangs.” I saw this sheet with marks by shoes, and the girl said I’d done well but with what I saw on the clock. It took me a minute, but feet were the overlying factor. I’m not that freaky.

If I had to guess, I would say first my feet are cold. Everything comes back to Braxton, and he would lie on my feet. His pillow was always below them, and without Braxton, Luna. The second I think, has to do with what I’m doing now. It’s like I want to be seen, but at the same time, I ain’t going nowhere like a display. Without Braxton, who’s watching? Lastly, the Day Job dream. I should have known better since the girl ragging me hasn’t worked there in years. Hell Lady Lu, I want to leave; B wanted that too. So I stay okay? Again I’m not explaining this to some Federal prosecutor, disappointed Friends. Or adoring Fan base. Even B III left me.

I mean, didn’t I ask him to? Only I remain stuck right here, Lady Lu. One more reason for the ice. When I went to honor B today, I didn’t even put on socks. I think of the 9th Circle. For some reason, I was scared to escape the stalker. As I said, I found shoes, but I needed to get dressed, and I wouldn’t look in the closet. Escape naked… the shoes wouldn’t move. If I did get away from the Day Job, I wouldn’t have anything. The shoes were right or wrong, but not one pair fit me, and so this week I’ve been busy. Prose, Posing, Prayer. Leaving my lips, “Oh God!” Because I’m staying here. The world It’s Not B Con.

125 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 333 ~Dreams Of A B-Lister~

WillLeave a comment

If you are as you say you are, a superstar as the song goes. I was in my B’s eyes, and are they on me now? One of the “crazy” things with anxiety and being an introvert is thinking people are watching and fading into obscurity. “Dreams Of A B-Lister”

Sunday, May 30, 2021

Gospel 333 ~Dreams Of A B-Lister~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, while you’re “just a picture-perfect nothing,” as the song goes. To be so mean this morning… sorry.

B could be, but usually, it was “Daddy let’s walk” or “Daddy, it’s too early.” God knows you could use either one of those with the days passing you by. The truth is, you need B III, but here you are, Day 119. Oh, so very glad you chose to keep track of B’s passing, hmm? Speaking of dying, I almost did so many years ago when I got a D in some math class. Hell, a D was my best friend… and yours, but we’ll get to that. The point is here you are daring to be a B-Lister when there are so many other letters of the alphabet. Now don’t go crazy, remember Braxton is watching you. Your camera’s for the waist down.

You still dream of B III running around your ankles. Yep, the way he would perch when I knelt down. THEY talk of being knocky in the knees ha, that’s what love does. When I did stand and he would as well, with two paws on my knee. Um, I was steady; I was brave. I’ve said before that Mother is God in the eyes of a child, but what is Daddy? The gods defeated the titans; what is a king without a queen. As always, a man provides. To Braxton, I was the morning and evening star. Seriously, you become pretty religious with Braxton. Because he sees you as he always has, “Through Heaven’s Eyes.” Yet you want more, or at least I do.

That’s what kept me up last night, “Stuff and Thangs,” that no one will ever see. You’d like to think you’ve grown up from that complaining, conniving, and crying ragamuffin you were. Yeah, you needed all the attention. Braxton; “the greatest fan of your life.” Strange how simple it is to share yourself with the world. To choose the spotlight when no one is watching but yourself. So much so that notice you have forgotten those um Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Art of War (Crappy Version)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 149 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 156) No Fap
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The same wins and losses, it seems, and soon you will have to do even more, not even listed. At least you won’t be mobbed; questions of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Spontaneous by Aaron Starmer
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 156 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What do I ask of you this week? Like Spontaneous, “Survive.” Dreams Of A B-Lister.

119 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 332 ~When B Moved On~

WillLeave a comment

B III was on the eternal quest of comfy spots. I know mine; I was comforted Braxton around. He could be waiting for me, not that he was one to rush me. I’m sure he’s getting his morning or after-work walks. What am I working on because When B Move On

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Gospel 332 ~When B Moved On~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but with all the dollars and the maid, I hope she misses Braxton’s last few hairs.

That’s why I haven’t hired a new maid yet, and I stick to cleaning the bathroom. Sure Braxton’s dog gate still sits at the door. Well, nine out of ten, he hated going in there. I mean, baths, my bellowing “stuff and thangs,” and fewer soft places for Braxton’s behind. When that behind stayed still in bed for a day or so, I knew something was wrong with him. Here we are 118 Days past, and I still can’t believe it. I also didn’t mean to sound so Depressed (oh no) today. Like my Anger, this has nothing to do with Braxton. Just a sec… Braxton isn’t haunting me like the dude was his wife in “What Dreams May Come.” I wouldn’t mind if B did that, my ghost dog.

Hell, part of the reason I became a “monk” is this. Wherever B III is, he can see everything. He loves me regardless of what I do, but still, I kept things from him sometimes. Which brings in my… depression, rejection, no not really. If I’m being honest, like my writing, I’m having a good time with my “Stuff And Thangs,” better known as OnlyFans. I’ve said before I have no qualms about my body… okay, my teeth; how I love masks. I like how I move and how I feel. Only at the moment, I haven’t… crossed the finish line. It’s like I’m Rhett from Lust by Ker Dukey. He lost his brother, and I failed my son Braxton. To show my face ever.

People want me to move on, move over, move a smidge so they can have what they want. I’ve spent my life being in the way, and that’s why I’m always trying to move. Yeah, like moving books off shelves, my body in this way or that to look right, my brain, I have one?
I say my heart is broken, but it continues to beat, doesn’t it, so it’s moving. My ears don’t move, but when I hear myself moaning, my hands do. It’s been a mighty long time. Braxton’s things, though? I did pick up his toys for a picture, and as always, I fill his water, move his gates, his bed, everything. I’m stuck; I want to be. When B Moved On.

118 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 326 ~This World Be Longs~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could live in B III’s world again or at least see it through his eyes. He only had to deal with me. When I think about everyone at my “freaking” Day Job or the chick that got me for $50… I’m not such a bad guy. This World Be Longs.

Sunday, May 23, 2021

Gospel 326 ~This World Be Longs~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but this legacy belongs to you. Yeah, you’re working so your dog can have a better life.

You woke up wondering how Braxton did it. His world wasn’t a huge place. Hell, as the song goes, “it’s a very, very Mad World.” Only are you the one that’s crazy? I had oh so many days to do something in the place Braxton loved. You exist, fearing tomorrow. Are you “Waiting on the World to Change?” Once again, you can’t give into that apathy that killed Braxton that every day is no different. Even though the last time the world did make a change was 112 days ago when he left it. You should appreciate walking his path. For some damnable reason, though, I was yearning to get back out there. Always the sadist. You’re a Sucker For Pain and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Owned: The Bundle by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 142 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 149) No Fap
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“It’s The End of the World as We Know It.” How dare you think that after what this day brought before. You don’t want to go to the Day Job and whose fault is that. Yeah, I know, and I’m sorry, but you saw that email you got today. What comes next… stuff and thangs? “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands,” as THEY say. Your novel, universe, pencil? I can imagine how much that chick made in 3 minutes, $50.00 easy-peasy lemon squeezy. Having the whole world in your hands now would mean Braxton being alive once more. You long to have his tenacity, that willingness to go on. Nobody’s forcing you to do anything, but what else is there. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Art of War (Crappy Version)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 149 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Again I apologize that there’s not “A Whole New World” for you in the six days I had. There was always the world I promised for B III. A mom for him, a wife for you. There should be a yard grander than this whole neighborhood. Braxton’s new siblings will need protection. “What A Wonderful World” should be the name of the game. You would even settle for Las Vegas in “Army of the Dead.” Anything beats going back to the Day Job, right? Then why did I sleep all this week? Fuck Saturday was my best day, being honest. As for any advice I can give you, treat this world as Braxton did. Your world’s so much bigger, though, SIGH. This World Be Longs

112 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 325 ~Must B Freeing Sometimes~

WillLeave a comment

I expected some woman would tie me down. Some Nights I dreamed of B III being an old man (older) who would be running from his siblings saying, “I didn’t sign up for this.” He’s free of the mortal coil; I’m not free of love. Must B Freeing Sometimes.

Saturday, May 22, 2021

Gospel 325 ~Must B Freeing Sometimes~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s almost like being in love. Hell, neither one of those match B being alive.

He’s not, but I am, and I intend to stay that way? What, I still haven’t taken the Vaccine? I thought to yesterday Lady Lu, yep. I got a haircut, and Supercuts girl got pissed at me. I went to Walmart and got mad at them for cheating me. Did I say having money, hmm? Hakuna Matata for the rest of these days, and if I had only been working this week, who knows. Another part of my Denial is acknowledging that “Every Day Is Exactly The Same.” Again that attitude got B killed, and how can I not want to keep him company Lu. It is not suicidal to acknowledge the truth. Death is the ultimate freedom, and next to that sleep, I’m tired.

I’m so “Tired Of Being Alone.” There’s a difference between being alone and my loneliness, THEY say. I was never alone with B III here, but now I’m lonely. But every day, I lock Braxton’s gates, I like having money in my pocket, and I love my mask. Freeing hiding. Only without Cerberus, without my Dæmon… when’s the last time I call Braxton that? THEY talk about our better angels, but I have let my demons come out to play. My heart cannot hold back the darkness. Lust, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Hell not Depression. So what about Gluttony? THEY say that we project our sins onto others, and I told M Anime that she’s just a “Sucker For Pain.” Of course, that’s more me.

I haven’t been starving myself as I did once before. Yet the people I have talked to lately don’t want my skin and bones, my warped mind, and my broken heart. I go back and forth between my soul and seeing as how I continually serve in the Church of Braxton. Lady Lu, I am free of love but not hate, considering the Day Job this week. What the Fuck! Were you expecting me to say, “Oh God?” Pride thinking anyone gives a damn right? That’s all the sins, but I am free, so is there a chance that somehow I’ll reach B, you think? It depends on who you question, but everyone wants to be free of me… I agree. Must B Freeing Sometimes

111 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will