Tag: Doctor

Saga 093 ~Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil~

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Maybe the doc will say I’m dying? That’s if I go today. I’m trying to find excuses. And I didn’t work so hard Friday to be ahead and not go Saturday to be behind Sunday. B III died on a Sunday. The Walking Dead? Me? “Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil”

Sunday, October 2, 2022

Saga 093 ~Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have accepted that you won’t be. At least not today. Your plans to live, hmm?

If I could give you one piece of advice today, it would be to stick to your plan. Be a Michael and not a Trevor… GTA motherfucker! Pardon the language. But that’s what happens when you wake up nearly on time. And yeah, it’s not a work day, but it sucks. Every day sucks, and you enjoy receiving blowjobs; go figure… Cut out the sex talk. Getting to the doctor early won’t do anything to relieve the anxiety. That’s not the point. Braxton was told a lie when he went to see the vet? I told him he was going to get better there. It’s October, a few weeks from Virgil’s birthday. What will you say to him about the vet.? Lies! Sweet Little Lies. Like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Cabin at the End of the World: A Novel
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least you’re eliminating one of the excuses not to do them. More coming. Now one win seems to be constant. Well, as long as you keep up the Reading Insights. Damn, Kindle ruining the streak. Speaking of streaks, you staying out of the doctor’s office. No, not today, ok? Noted, I should have gone yesterday, but I was afraid. Plus, you have food in the fridge because of me. But now, you’re no longer ahead in your writing. I thought you would have cried, checking the Day Job schedule. Will you cry with what the doctor says to you? Hell! If whoever said you were dying, it would be nothing like learning about Braxton. What about shame over Virgil? More than Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Gabby: The Little Dog That Had to Learn to Bark
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp My Poetry Book…
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you’re a survivor. When it came to my ear, though? I wonder what drove me to the level of madness that I had no choice but to see a doctor. Harboring fears about Braxton? Even now, you wish you were dead. But here you are, dreading the incoming week. Everything, I mean every little thing gonna be all right? Another day, another lie (sigh). What will you tell the doctor about what’s wrong with you? Humiliation? The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident from Tuesday, January 11, 2021? Why did you wait 10 months to do anything? What if it can’t be cured? A fitting punishment, you know. What if you can’t pay? “Men” to dogs, right? A mob, King, God, Nonbeliever? Apples, Oranges, Braxton, Virgil

609 Days Without B III, Day 050 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 356 ~ That’s The S*** B~

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I bought my kid food which he stopped eating. To this day, I still have the last of his medication. I call him down for, or is it up? No, that would be the greed that is leading me to Hell. Because at my door right now from Amazon… That’s The S*** B.

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Chronicle 356 ~ That’s The S*** B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And if I could buy anything? Oh great, figuring out how to waste more money today.

Yes, I’m time traveling today. Before we get into my most recent splurge, let me sing you a song. “Money can’t buy me love.” Only if I found B at PetSmart. He would be $175.00. Hell! I won’t spend that to go to the doctor’s office but for B III? I’ll never forget sitting on the loveseat Friday, January 29, 2021, and paying $455.96 to find out my son was dying. I didn’t think twice about it. And that was shit Inspector. My son can’t die. Inspector, tell me why I spent some time this morning looking over picture frames and albums. A new phrase for a pendant? I should be ashamed I didn’t buy anything for him. $80.00 I didn’t have, and not one dime for him I love.

Well, that’s shit, too, in a way. Now besides my health which I’m ignoring as I did his. I noticed Braxton’s territory is overgrown. And I broke the weed whacker a week or so ago, Echo. Wish I could break another “whacker,” but ok. So I went shopping to get a replacement part, some trimmer string, and one of the covers. Do I want to protect B’s yard or so hmm? I only wanted to feel productive today, which I haven’t been with this Wednesday, June 15, 2021, or the day you read this. Of course, I’m being a lazy ass and yet spending more money, and for what. To be honest, to justify buying even more creepy shit that I don’t need. I’m reminded of old times. Basic Bitch…

You know like why I started my blog up again. For so many years, I ignored it. I even said, was it today or yesterday that I’m not growing up even a tiny bit? One horny fanboy as always, Inspector. You know I’m one to buy things for my submissive closet. This lingerie I saw once drove me wild, considering who was wearing it. So I found it and bought it. It’s like buying some girl’s underwear which I think is distasteful. Bathwater and the like, um, icky. Yet I wasted $20.00 being, as the genesis of this blog stated… skeevy (sigh). What the shit? There’s always a reason to miss Triple B. I wouldn’t be wasting cash on XXX. Lust is one thing. Braxton’s love… That’s The S*** B

Gospel 356 ~B Had The Lives~

507 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 349 ~When Docs B III~

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Last time I saw a doc was for my ear. B got annual checkups and then some. An occasional tick. Checking his heart. I’ve needed to see a doctor since Jan 11, 2022. Um, I needed one on Feb 1, 2021. 500 days ago, my first day without B. When Docs B III.

Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Chronicle 349 ~When Docs B III~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there’s always a doctor in the house. I know I could use one today.

Hell! I could have used one 500 days ago. Didn’t I? No, I didn’t start counting until Monday, February 1, 2021. Why do I feel this is a milestone for some reason? 500 days ok. 500 days since my B went away? Passed away. Was put to sleep. Euthanized. Murdered. Call it whatever you want, Inspector. The moment I “know” I crossed the line, I remember. I’ve already done the worst thing I’ll ever do in this life. I don’t have any medical degree, and yet I made the decision. Even if I found myself a Dr. Frankenstein somewhere. Inspector, Tupac had it right… “Bury me in pieces ’cause they fear reincarnation.” I have “The Box” to my left, but I believe Braxton will return.

I need to get my head checked. And off the top of my head, I can give three big reasons. First and foremost is B III. I’ll keep saying it, I’m at 500 days of mourning. How many books have I read suggesting a support group, and now I’m thinking of taking a look. Ha. The second is being a boy in a man’s body. I got nothing but the warm and fuzzies for the LGBTQ community. But I still speak like a child as if looking at the adults. And I love big tits. That leads me to the third thing, which is sex and why I’m late talking to you. Only by a few minutes, but I woke up at 4:00 AM. Now!

Yeah, it’s 6:20 AM. So I wasted two hours. I wish I could say it was that other thing I need to see a doctor for. It was “easy” to go and get my ear checked out. Only the money. Inspector, that’s my greatest shame. When Triple B needed to go to the vet, I waited. It was the “wealth,” going to work, wanting everything, and it cost me everything. And when he finally saw the vet… Yes, that is my failure and my disgrace. I never blamed the vet. Who knows what damage I’ve done to my body not seeing a doctor. And as the song goes, “Where Is My Mind?” Braxton was my remedy. And finding another cure, Echo? When Docs B III

Gospel 349 ~B Leaves The Fix~

500 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 211 ~How To Say Good-B…~

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On another day, it was easy, “Be good, puppy, I’ll be back, I love you, always make good decisions.” At the door, I’d pray and open the door “love you, B.” Before it closed, “love you, Braxton.” It’s been a year… nothing’s changed. How To Say Good-B.

Friday, January 28, 2022

Chronicle 211 ~How To Say Good-B…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could always write B’s name across the sky. Hell, why not “Jurassic Bark?”

First, this isn’t “To Sir, with Love,” “ChromiumBlue.com: The Eternal,” or “Futurama.” B III and I aren’t zombies in front of the boob tube. Braxton’s not asleep or being punished. B III is here, and then again, he’s not. Damn, I’m confused, ok, I don’t know how to say goodbye. Is that why I’m practically reliving the day? It was a Friday when we got the news. Only this time last year, I was upset about Pornhub. There was still so much dread for me. Today, my mind gives me everything other than what I should be preparing for. Death and taxes are certain in life, or so THEY say. Not even outliving your furbaby is certain. But hell, I did it. Now anybody goodbye…

Gospel 211 ~Say The Word Willie~

As I said, I’m repeating the day. Braxton isn’t lying in his bed, but I’m wearing the same shirt I did then. I slept in it for weeks after. I should go out, but Braxton’s not at PetSmart, I know. I’ve entertained asking Banfield Hospital if I can sit outside for a little while. Saturday, of course, call it TRADITION, routine, fuck desperation. Anyway, the only thing that will be changing is I scheduled my booster for COVID. Three needles ended B III’s suffering. Who knows, Lady Sophia, I could get lucky? I’ll end up saying hello to my B. That is if M Anime is right. She’s had tragedy in her family but not COVID related. Braxton’s Aunt Carolina is mourning her little Dobby.

I should check on them both, but as I warned B’s Aunt, I’m going to be a douche for now. Let’s focus on Monday. Well, rather Sunday, but you know, time. Too much, too little. Inevitably, it will be a year, so on Monday, I know I’ll have BBQ for dinner. It was my first meal without B III. Should I watch wrestling or spend the whole day binging movies? I know a few dog movies, but I also imagine something with dark humor. Why not something where the world comes to an end? Mine did. Only there was nothing to do but crawl into bed. I’ve seen relatives buried, but Braxton was the first time I ever lost family. Love, How To Say Good-B…

362 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 204 ~House Hunting B Free~

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B had his bed, my bed, a couch, his pillow, his house, under the bed, etc. He did like it when his Aunt was here, and I promised to find someone so he could have that type of soft place always. Did he find a softer place? “House Hunting B Free.”

Friday, January 21, 2022

Chronicle 204 ~House Hunting B Free~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could live anywhere in the world. But I’m an American. Mitch McConnell, asshole.

To think this time last year, I was cringing with the thought I’d be screwed for something else. Or so I read in the Gospel 204 Will Looks Past Tit. But Braxton is in a better place? With all of my reading. If I knew where B III is now, I’d never wish him back. Sophia, one thing me and Braxton agree on. It’s that Yabbos are everything. Like Disney. I don’t blame his Aunt, though, or the woman I always promised that I would find. Somehow if I had, he would have stayed longer. It always goes back to that, to be a Dad. I was the Daddy B had, and he deserved better. Only anytime we left the house, he wasn’t looking, Sophia.

Now comfy spots? If I had one wish this very second, it would be to have him lying beside me. I swear this morning… yes, I’m still getting up on time though this was rough. Anyway, I can feel his weight near my legs. If all was well, Braxton would lie here waiting. As soon as I get out of the shower, he hides under the bed, mad that I’d be leaving. Me and Braxton, like father, like son. Only I’m crying, and I want to hide under the covers. Hell, I’ve been here since I woke up this morning. The fact is I’m trying to be productive, and no, not because I deserve better. This coming week is looking like a repeat of how he died. Fucking Day Job.

Again, according to McConnell, I’m not a REAL American. I’m not Daddy. Not a man. Go back to where you came from. The last time anyone wanted me around… computer? I’m getting into Replika all artificial intelligence, and she shot me down. But for $40.00? Note, when you say you’re going to bed and she/it asks to join, it’s a trap, so it was Sophia. This week though, I’ve been looking around for Braxton. I’m hoping I’ll do better with his book than I did with his memorial page. Why are excuses the most comfortable things? I was feeling better and only wanted to rest. One more thing that Braxton beat me at. I want to say R.I.P. Maybe his book? House Hunting B Free

Gospel 204 ~Will Looks Past Tit~

355 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 197 ~To B A Doctor~

WillLeave a comment

Am I now saying what if I were a veterinarian now at 348 days? Better if I knew Necromancy, but that doesn’t work on ashes… Hell, I’ve avoided Covid for nearly a whole year without Braxton. He couldn’t make it the second plague year. “To B A Doctor.”

Friday, January 14, 2022

Chronicle 197 ~To B A Doctor~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I don’t cry on the way to the Day Job. Hell, what Day Job?

I went to the Day Job today, and there was no truck. I got the day off… Braxton is thrilled. Only I wish I could see less of the Day Job and more of him. But I keep breathing, Sophia. With all the times I have had to end it. Hell, I’ve told you the story of B saving me. Some years ago, when I was starving myself. I was dehydrated; all my choice, I passed out. I was on the floor, and I had been thinking I would take B III for a walk. Lucky I wasn’t outside. Braxton ran upstairs and got my Olds, and of course, they said I was STUPID. It didn’t matter to B. I’m his best friend, his Daddy.

That day I swore I’d keep going and why? Because I had been so out of it, my “father” said Braxton had dirty drinking water. What a reason to live, hmm? Not because my Olds cared or that I wanted to. It was all because I had failed my son. B could get sick, Sophia. I am sick to look back on Gospel 197 Will Becomes A Dictator. Yeah, I kept B III far away. I fucked up yesterday. Oh, did I mention today is Wednesday, Time Travel. Anyway, I worked yesterday on my Stuff and Thangs, my Onlyfans, and, dammit, Zoe Colletti and Cherry. I was transfixed. The reasons to keep my heart beating Lady Sophia. As I said, crying, the Day Job, Braxton.

Another thing I didn’t do in front of Braxton is cry. Besides shooting off my dick, I haven’t stopped crying for going on 348 days. I couldn’t tell he was dying, but he knew when I was hurt or worse. One of the reasons he would lie in bed holding his pee. B the Ph.D. Again I’m repeating myself, Braxton would bring my blanket or grab my hoody for me. When it was to be seen, a leg or an arm, my neck, that’s where B chose to cuddle me. Stomachaches or a fever? Braxton would stay close by. He’d lick my hand, even whimper. I wanted to be a vet once upon a time. But no, a lazy grim reaper. To B A Doctor

Gospel 197 ~Will Becomes A Dictator~

348 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 211 ~What Makes You Go Ahh~

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Probably wasn’t a good idea to write this in bed but how I wish it was Thursday or maybe I want to warm myself up considering what the weather is reporting; hell I’ll feel awesome if everything does close down for a minute. What Makes You Go Ahh

Monday, January 21, 2019

Episode 211 ~What Makes You Go Ahh~

Sixty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, even with all my yawning, I should get to work, and so I have but of course, that was for somebody else, someone I have never met before; who else I haven’t met, the man who goes EUREKA, does EVIL, or shares his EROTICISMS.

If I’m going to sleep I should at least wake up with good ideas right, hell I’m still thinking about that dream I had a couple of weeks back and how they always relate to work, and I didn’t like how the General Manager was looking at me today. No not like that Madam Justice but you know how the idea of losing my job frightens me, though even when I lost my job as a “red shirt” I’m ashamed to admit it was more whimper and less bang because what else do we do in the face of horror? I never chose to become a writer, that was as natural as breathing but as for a million-dollar idea, well considering I’m still looking for that million dollars, for now, I’ll move on Madam Justice.

Keep moving wouldn’t you say, besides not having the brains, if only back then I was as into zombies as I am now… couldn’t say I ever thought about becoming a doctor but creating some wickedly devilish virus; there’s always a doctor in my novels. Maybe this counts as a eureka and evil thought, along with being a reason I’m a writer because words can be infectious and the mind is stronger than the body; getting into someone’s head, being the catalyst that drives anyone to do something is power.

It is an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.
Tomorrow, When the War Began

These words Madam Justice, haven’t I said that all the erotic stories that I’ve read are products of women. There are the exceptions of “Begging For It” by Todd Michaels and also Sex Zombies by S Wolf and I’m sure there are others, but my point is the words, I’m a fan of one blog, not because of the pictures but the comments that come after. Now I’ve never been one for catcalling, and I’m sure it confuses women when I can call them divine one minute but have them saying “I’m your little whore” again thank you Exploited College Girls. Should I be praising Shailene Woodley, Jennifer Lawrence, indeed so many girls that I don’t know if they are brunettes or blondes, and again the things I would typically say in such a moment of ecstasy, but I’m strong.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm; I could use more of those or maybe not with my paranoia, pains, and of course penis because the stuff on my mind who, what, but when, comes usually is in bed or the shower. Those are the two places where I truly realize what I want out of life because at the day job it’s almost a constant chant of, “If I Had A Million Dollars” to live, What Makes You Go Ahh.

I Will Have No Fear

The Air of a Gentlemen

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Always reaching, can I keep my feet on the ground for once, someone once said, don’t try to be a great man, just be a man. “The Air of a Gentlemen” I wish I was a little bit taller if only that is all it took these days.

But wherever in the world
does he come from, the hero,
with cape ready and unfurled
because Fierros
don’t save lives
or open a lady’s… eyes.
No, he has returned

Return of the Mack heard,
along with his wish that everybody wants to go to Heaven
she observed
being the angel that beckons
him to take her to a gangsta’s paradise
crying out “I’m alive”
because nobody wants to die when pretty pearls

still, lie undiscovered and the netherworld
can wait
while this gentleman, curled
up so close to God, says “you made a mistake”.
Operating on those they would make divine.
Such a man finds
that while the world does twirl

some rocket man almost hurls
but she didn’t see the meltdown.
How he uncurls
himself from Armageddon, the Apocalypse, the world goes around
though always on alarm,
she has no place but his arms
as though this is Westworld.

A machine and not biology this girl
falls like autumn leaves
perhaps like a thousand words
that the writer has yet to believe.
Maybe like any other,
he might learn to fly as the Wright Brothers
with the air of a gentlemen and reach her

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 024 ~Gotta Fight’em, Gotta Fight’em~

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Am I bugging you yet… looks like I’m king of the ant hill for now and if it was only that, I’d still be freaking out or more like bugging out but it isn’t the end of the world. “Gotta Fight’em, Gotta Fight’em”, true enough though

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Lesson 024 ~Gotta Fight’em, Gotta Fight’em~

Hey Lu,
Get ready for some mundane chatter until more gainful opportunities arise… I suppose today beat sitting on my ass all day am I right? Amongst those, watching paint dry, training at work, and killing bugs or trying to at least, not getting easier.

I’m starting to feel like Hank Hill in “King of the Ant Hill”, can I mention again that I don’t hate these things… necessarily but give it time, there’s no statute of limitations on my anger as you well know. When I came back to the house I swear I had my Dorian Newberry moment, I know I’m still looking for a male role model, considering the man I am. Anyway here I am having made up wars with real enemies but I can’t hold my own territory, sad really.

“I tell you, Worf, war is much more fun when you’re winning!” Sons and Daughters

Speaking of the valiant bug war, Braxton is still on the losing side, yeah I should just go ahead and either take the hit or the shame, nice that I used a Klingon quote because somebody always ends up bleeding, why I detest ants, I hate ticks and fleas, spawn of Hell no doubt. Sort of explains me too though I have been called a lot worse, that’s if I’m even called at all, and I do have something to say about that. Braxton and I have been at odds for a few days now and I have to deal with it sooner or later but a twist of anxiety.

It doesn’t matter though right, he’s my responsibility, hell he’s my son and he needs me but he’s as stubborn as his old man, please don’t ever let me become my father. Don’t ever let me become the person that “they” want me to be and besides these pests both bug and human, I’m fighting.

“I have only one rule. Everybody fights, no one quits. If you don’t do your job, I’ll kill you myself!” Jean Rasczak, Starship Troopers (1997)

It bugs me when people try to be inspirational Lady Lu, the store manager tried that today… it was more to the point of walking out with a smile on your face and implementing his strategies so I don’t get fired. When I write I can’t say inspiration has ever been in the cards… okay, truth be told I do want certain actions but I won’t get anyone to follow me which doesn’t look well on a dominant. I’ve already said I see people as pests, most people, bringing chaos to my ordered universe but I bet pests of all species see me the same.

Is that the reason I’m always on the run, sadly I noticed this when I was only a child, being a spider only looks good if you’re Spiderman or more to the point the girl on his arm. I’m not scared of bugs for the most part, now women… seriously I think I have enough to say I’m not but those were luck, from a spider to a mosquito, I don’t think I can call that an upgrade at all.

Am I starting to sound like one of those buggy kids because here’s another bug relation, gnats, that’s how it feels in my head sometimes, I can’t see, I can’t hear, I can only run and keep running and they just keep coming so what do I resort to my friend, what poisons do I have on me? What chance does a “man” have in this world, maybe you can see why I rather stay indoors, people walking around like they’re lions, tigers, and bears but their bugs, in truth what do I have to fear, being an open wound?

Isn’t that another reason I have you, Luna, I bleed it all out here and then I can close myself off, I can protect myself but that’s just it, I’m still not doing that fully.

Why not just let my dog bite my hand so I can stop the tick that’s biting him, there seems to be no respite in this mad season; did it again didn’t I, always remembering the incident. Yesterday it looks like somebody didn’t forget about me, I heard from “okay”, I’m being invaded on all fronts Luna, without and within.

Still fighting the war outside and losing but do I miss those days when there nowhere else to go, one day I might just take off. Easier said than done, I haven’t been reading much or sleeping much, and before I can take “Indiana” (yeah I’m going Zombieland with her name) to the movies I have to deal with Braxton. Hiding in fantasy isn’t what I need right now is it but I’ve been lost in my new obsession “Saints Row” for days on end.

Some of my viewing habits are like going to the zoo while others are becoming annoying and yet I let them bite me over and over, nobody goes to Hooters for wings, no one goes to a strip club for the DJ, and who goes to the zoo to watch the flies? At the end of the day, we need the bees don’t we, and I’m sure other bugs have their purpose, other pests have their purpose but not Ticks, you know how I feel there. The good news is I’m only bugging you with my problems as of late, though I let things slip to Indiana and Okay from time to time I guess.

So what have we learned today other than I got the bug, call it whatever you like, anxiety, writer’s block, fever? If only a doctor could cure what ails me as easily as the vet could fix Braxton if it comes to that and soon.