Tag: Dog

Chronicle 341 ~Hope To B Kind~

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Kindness is not in my particular set of skills. It wasn’t in B’s either, being his father’s son. Though there was that one time, I had to leave him to go to a wedding… Hell! He was supposed to come to my wedding… he’d be the Best Man. Hope To B Kind.

Tuesday, June 7, 2022

Chronicle 341 ~Hope To B Kind~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But all the money in the world won’t make me forget. All You Need Is Love.

I need to get back into audiobooks because this music has me crying again. More time to think about more room in my heart. Not that I’m thinking about business. A great man once said, “we don’t love them hoes.” Of course, I wouldn’t call my employees such things. I like to think I’m kind. If not to myself, at least to the people I care for. Braxton’s returned? Not yet. I’m time traveling, speaking to you on a Saturday afternoon. A shocker, I know, right? I’m in bed, but at least I’m awake. Not seeing the fur babies today, not dealing with the Rebeccas, and a decent lunch. What was that I said about being kind to myself? Well (ahem) “When He Loved Me.”

Love isn’t what you say; it’s what you do, right? This is the second, maybe the third time, I’ve cried today. 492 days my love. With everything wrong with me, I’m surprised it’s not… Okay, better I don’t go put negative things out into the universe. Oh, to be kind. And you are baby girl, you are. I don’t know how many women would put up with me as I am now. Only it’s more than kindness, baby. Love. “Is there anything I can do?” Always from everyone, every day. Yeah, I’m not that popular am I? With all I am and what I do? I remember carrying B III down the stairs for a few months. Bringing fries back after work. Him beside me.

B III was too damn strong for his own good. “I hope he’s not like me; I hope he understands,” as the song goes. But he was. And with everything he taught me, kindness, love, courage? Goodbye… I don’t know what to think about this. I married a heroine, a goddess. Inevitably we were blessed with kids I named after those who were strong. Katniss, Tris, Ember, Luke, Leia, etc. I always remember my firstborn’s strength. But B III had more. It’s these things I hope to never forget. I hope to be the man I made him out to be always, forever. Be a man of kindness now… instead of one of mourning. But to you and our family, love. B Kind I Hope.

Gospel 341 ~The Walking Dead, Living Sit~

492 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 337 ~Didn’t Read It B~

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Don’t make me a liar. What am I a Republican? If I say I will read The 1619 Project, I will. And as far as things I need to read… My Turn To B III (the book I wrote for my son). A doctor’s bill. A grocery list. But I’m tired. “Didn’t Read It B.”

Friday, June 3, 2022

Chronicle 337 ~ Didn’t Read It B~

Hey Lady Sophia,

I AM a Billionaire right now, but I didn’t read that when B was still alive. I’m a liar, next to STUPID…

I hate being a liar. Of course, we can talk about me lying to my son. Or what about NaNoWriMo, when I wasn’t writing “every day.” At the moment, I’m pissed off about what happened yesterday. A Chart Topper. The 1619 Project. I haven’t read it all. Not yet. The Spring Challenge fucked me, or instead, I fucked myself. I was working on OnlyFans. And also pardon my language. Anyway, I clicked one of the reference buttons and READ? It could be worse, Lady Sophia. At least someone wrote a book for me to lie about. What about “My Turn To B III,” hmm? Hell! What about Gulp? I should be working on those two titles, but I’m reading about my junk’s worth. Eight bucks.

I told myself I would start gearing up to write for Camp NaNoWriMo in July. Lady Sophia, I’ve felt this calling to share some stories of me and B III. Even some from Triple B’s perspective? Of course, we’re here on June 3, and I haven’t felt like time traveling. Inevitable, having another doctor’s visit. But you saw what it took for me to get my ear “bukkake” last time. I was reading everything on ear care. I can look back at my own words about when I would go to the doctor. But I haven’t read another bill… inevitable. It’s like reading all the stuff I need to buy today. I still miss putting B III on the list. Something that I could accomplish.

Can I say that I read anything when he’s not around? I started to think I didn’t read any of those grieving books. And let’s not forget most of 2021 when I was in shock. At least this year, I remember The Dog Stars and Tender Is The Flesh. Cherry asked me about it, and I read one of her stories this morning. Girls and horrific experiences, I am so bad. Besides bukkake, there’s been Azusa Ayano and Xreindeers. “Bad man. I’m a bad, bad man.” Show me a pretty girl with a dark, dirty, and depraved story, truth, fiction… I’m all eyes, ears, penis. I’m capable of learning plenty which explains my grades in school. All F’s yet somehow? I did it “My Way.” Nope, Didn’t Read It B.

Gospel 337 ~Digital Sets B III~

488 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 336 ~A B In Psychology~

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My son never got his Ph.D., but he was the best physiatrist, counselor, and therapist I’ve ever known. Even if I had to buy him all his/my books. My Olds, of course, paid for the couch. Should have gotten me a puppy and saved money. A B In Psychology

Thursday, June 2, 2022

Chronicle 336 ~A B In Psychology~

487 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Considering the time we’re talking, you already know how my day has begun. Life Sucks!

It was only last week that I said I wake up every morning crying tears. Is it better or worse again, considering there are less today but more for you? Day Job tears are unneeded. But I am still thinking about the past B. It’s stupid, but that book I read, Tender is the Flesh. Then there’s the possibility of reading The 1619 Project. I read the sample… pretty decent. And how about I haven’t been listening to many audiobooks, B III. Neglecting another collection. With so much time off from the Day Job, I know that I ought to be working on your novel. I’m not saying these books are bad. But it’s like I’m betraying you. Not learning to say goodbye… finding you.

Hell! B, it’s been all about reincarnation these days. I got two alerts about puppies. And haven’t gotten around to deleting them. I check them every now and then, and they’re still available. I doubt you would want to come back as a bitch. B, I thought you’d be taller. Oh what, now you’d be Snake Plissken? When I find you again, I keep saying that I’ll name you Virgil. You know from Dante’s Inferno. I know I can’t have another Braxton; That would be wrong, wicked, and plain weird. Speaking of weird, Toni Braxton, Braxton P. Hartnabrig, and WWE’s Kayla Braxton. You’d be staring at her melons too, Braxton. Yeah, you’re definitely not coming back as a girl. But seeing you again or another.

Kayla Braxton

I’m always shocked when I realize these things, Triple B. You’re gone? Yeah. That’s why B, your water bowl is always full, and nothing has been moved from your room. Hairdryer? Oh, I carry your beast hairdryer around from time to time. Your favorite toy, remember? Braxton, besides seeing a doctor for a particular pain. My craziness and depression are also here. But dare I ask, who, who, could take my favorite therapist’s place. One more reason, I’m not one to go sitting on the couch anymore. I don’t need another “pet” covering it. Noted your aunt wanted it to be a casting couch, and then there’s pretty Special K. Good times but video games, movies, books, you and me. Happiness? A B In Psychology.

Gospel 336 ~How Many Barks Braxton~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 334 ~The Questions To B~

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On January 31, 2021, Braxton asked, “can’t we go home, Daddy?” No way to convince me otherwise when the vet came out holding him. The look in his eyes. We asked a lot of each other, and now silence. Money is loud. Love is Louder? “The Questions To B”

Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Chronicle 334 ~The Questions To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now; doctors, school, PROTECTION, all for them, our children. This world, my love, the horror, the horror.

In truth, I’m scared of myself. Am I going to be all political today? I could cry some more over Braxton? I’ll do that anyway, him being my firstborn and all. But what’s the word still. Considering we’re talking on Thursday, May 26, 2022. This moment it’s the children. I’m halfway ready to pull our kids out of school and hire private tutors. What’s being done to little heads and hearts by the hands of evil men. Yes, the killer, but having billions, baby girl? I suppose I know something about politics. It always comes down to the money. But before you and me love, I suppose as the song goes… “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Stay black and die.

I’m Pro-Choice, Pro-Union, and I believe Black Lives Matter. Republicans are evil, and evil must be opposed. Democrats are idiots. No, they’re cowards, so more dangerous. Before you think I’m getting all-wise, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 6×2 “Rocks and Shoals.” And The Walking Dead 7×05 “Go-Getters.” I swear I’m two seconds away from going all “The Cable Guy.” But I do know right from wrong. I’ve heard the way some say “Mental Illness.” I know the worst pain I have ever known in my life is losing my firstborn, my son B III. But he taught me what it means to love. Is that sad? My dad never gave me, um, The Talk. Only I remember talking to Triple B about his Aunt’s boobs.

I still believe that the epitome of manhood is fatherhood. Notice that’s my personal belief, and I’m not telling you or any woman what to do with your body. Well, our bedroom and business-wise, hmm. Some other time. And the question of B III and our story ending, sigh. I didn’t learn much from my Olds, though. Except money can’t buy me love. Braxton? I know there is no other him every day, so either this is forever, or he is out there, love. Reincarnation? I doubt our kids will be asking about that soon, ha-ha. Why’s daddy so sad? Because Braxton’s gone. Thinking of all the questions that don’t have any answers for them. But may they always ask them. The Questions To B

Gospel 334 ~Knowing Hell You Fear Heaven~

485 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 330 ~Long Story Short B~

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I always imagined that I would be the Dad that would read to my kids. Most of the books I read, considering my son was 15. Which is how old in dog years? Anyway, reading about grieving didn’t help me vote. Long Story Short B.

Friday, May 27, 2022

Chronicle 330 ~Long Story Short B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it isn’t because of a book. I have some stories to tell. Where are they?

How was your day? My Olds always asked though they didn’t give a damn. Braxton? First, a brisk walk outside, a bag full of fries. And passing out in the bed. Then I’d be ok. I continue to think about this line, you don’t want a girlfriend; you want a therapist who’s good in bed. Um well. I had my Braxton, who loved to cuddle and then sat at the foot of the bed keeping watch. I swear I should have gotten Braxton registered as Emotional Support. He might believe everything I had to go through on the day-to-day. Hell! I don’t even know, as I’m time traveling right now. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, people, always suck. Sorry Disney.

I never read B III fairytales. Most of the stories I read aren’t child friendly. I keep saying to nobody at all. He would hate what I’m reading now. For this week, I’m looking into what they call “Final Frontier” books because of Amazon. I can’t turn down a challenge. Funny right? I mean a reading challenge. Besides B guarding me, I miss him sitting on my lap as I read. The last book B might have heard while bad was BREASTESES by Maximo Montoya. The two before, A Different Alchemy and The Island. Coincidence? The Island is all about being alone. And A Different Alchemy… Father loses his child. Breasts are something both B and I agree on. The Succubus Lord 7. That series?

I told Braxton’s Aunt a while ago one of the reasons I go to B-Dubs on Saturdays is part of our story. It was the Saturday before Braxton died. I look at Succubus Lord, like that? There’s always so much more to add to “My Turn To B III.” The novel I wrote for Braxton. Only did I work on that today, Tuesday, May 24, 2022, Election Day? Talk about not reading the assignment. The only name I recognized was the guy’s name on my gun license. Don’t go there. Then there are all the books on Pet Loss I’ve been into. I’m still breathing. I’m Alive! Two words, and what would I be reading? 2021 shocked. 2022 I’m still grieving. Long Story Short B

Gospel 330 ~Just A Minute B~

481 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 329 ~ I’ll Always B 15~

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When are the grownups going to do something? I’m not much of one, and my kid had four legs. I don’t regret the 15 years 11 months with my fur-baby, but I shouldn’t have ever been a Dad at around 21. With how I live, “I’ll Always B 15.”

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Chronicle 329 ~ I’ll Always B 15~

480 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? 480 days, I still wake up in tears. At 15, I saved them for school.

That was way before your time Braxton. By the time we met, I was a college, hell, junior college dropout. To be honest, I wasn’t supposed to make it that far. I was already practicing starving myself in high school. I didn’t move on to sleeping pills until the car. I’ll never regret knowing you, B. But that doesn’t mean I ever felt like the man you needed me to be… a father. Hell! I can’t tell you who I was at 15 other than I wanted to die soon. Who am I to tell you about that, right? You were only 15 B III. We’re the old men here. Braxton, I feel it, but I don’t know it ever.

Is it that your Aunt Carolina’s birthday was “Star Wars Day?” Cherry will be 25 Saturday. I kept telling myself that you would see 20 if not older. 5 years to do right. Braxton, how many parents won’t watch their children grow up? How many people had their entire lives only to be cut short? The wrong time and I’m not getting “political.” Republicans… But to be shallow, selfish, and sad. In other words, “I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker.” In other words, I love you. Yeah, I couldn’t help myself, Braxton. Music. But I don’t know what I was listening to back then. Whatever it was, it beats me singing? That’s one thing I know I won’t be when I grow up… become a singer but growing up?

THEY think I should have done that. Especially when it comes to getting over you. Braxton, what brought all this on was again another “revelation.” My OCD when I was at the front door, I always count to 5, 3 times, so 15. When I check locks, Braxton count 15. A lucky number? I remember I would cream myself about that girl in “Group 4. “Growing up, when, where? Instead of keeping my porn in a binder beneath a drawer? Paying my own way finally? Not telling the lady at the Day Job; I’m thinking of writing? Not subsisting off stuff in the microwave? Or waking up because other people want me to? I’m too old, but you know. You said, “I’ll Always B 15.”

Gospel 329 ~To Understand Braxton’s Writes~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 327 ~A Vote For B~

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Get out and vote for a do-nothing who will have to do battle with an evildoer; at some point. I put more thought into whether B is in Heaven, Hell, or was reincarnated. That and boob size. America, America. A Vote For B.

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Chronicle 327 ~A Vote For B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’ve never voted for good. Of all the years, I’ve been voting not once.

But B III? I wish I could recall election day, but I ain’t asking my Olds about that. Um, no. How many times will I say this? The day we went to the new house and B made a choice. “Get in the car, B?” Not the Olds, not my sis (his second mom). Inevitable that someone would love me? Braxton hopped in the car and has been my son ever since that day. Ha, you think I have Republican quirks. B III wouldn’t change his mind for anything ha-ha. At least, I like to believe that. Hell! Besides my bloodline and his Aunt, he hated everyone else. He protected our borders like Cerberus. Winning Braxton… cook like Mom and have breasts like Stormy Daniels.

Then there’s you. Oh, I’m equal opportunity, breasts-wise. Boobless Wonder, Rebecca’s Backyard. Some video game vixens, and how big is a casaba melon anyway? Yabbos. Baby girl, it’s things like this. This makes me question why you chose me. It was less than a vote and more like; a roll of the dice. An investment. Maybe you felt doomed (sigh). Only you came out of ok. I don’t offer promises I can’t deliver. It’s a rule of business, even if it’s only an illusion. A bit. You must ask yourself why I keep asking why. I mean, me being in anyone’s best interest… ask Braxton, oh right. What would I know about healthcare or the economy? A few billion means I don’t have to, right?

Only I’m going to get up somehow, my love, and “go vote” for a do nothing to take on evil. Because I care about our children. And I refuse to be one of the parents crying on TV someday. Evil must be opposed, even if the people I vote for refuse to fight for anything. Should I let the kids vote on a new dog? It’s not like I’m getting any close to finding B. I’m glad you are my forever choice. Hell! So was Triple B but forever wasn’t long enough for the two of us. If I were a better man, I’m sure he’d be laughing he won from Heaven above when I arrive. Hell, we’ll be warm together. A Vote For B

Gospel 327 ~Fire, Iron Evaporate The Enemy~

478 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 323 ~Want To B Read~

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Do you want to know what I’ve been reading this week? Chances are none of it is my own work. I sent B’s Aunt all her books. And how much does Cherry trust me? B trusted me with his life, and now I can’t even publish a title about it? “Want To B Read”

Friday, May 20, 2022

Chronicle 323 ~Want To B Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that would mean I have my own feature in the Bible. I never read much.

I do mean of the Bible, of course. Revelation as I’m all about the end of the world, my Lady. There was the Gospel of John because, as I’ve said, I can’t resist book challenges. Christians blah. So that got me to Proverbs. Um, that’s nonfiction, huh? Who decided, ha? For the record. Sophia, the world ended on January 31, 2021, at approximately 3:30 PM. It’s been so long since I worked on Braxton’s book I wonder if it’s in there. Hell, I could barely get it up to talk to you today. It’s Monday, so yes, I’m time traveling. You also know that this week sucks. And did I need to dive into porno for the third day in a row? It was delivered…

Well, erotica, harem romance, a fantasy? I’m not sure what to call it. Succubus Lord Series. Before I go any further, and while it’s on my mind, I owe you an apology Lady Sophia. I thought after Braxton died, I would be telling you stories about the two of us. A father and son type of thing. Now all the voices blend these days. But yes, I’ll never forget Braxton. If I don’t tell you our stories, I at least need to publish his book, but no. I made it to the dining room table this morning. And come this afternoon. I’m trying not to. A sex joke again, apologies. Anyway, I came back to bed after the book delivery. A reason to go outside…

Hell! I would settle for a reason to make it into the den and read. I haven’t bought anything I thought of for Triple B, dammit! But I have an extensive collection of grieving and mourning books. This year has been about breaking streaks, and soon no more dog titles Sophia. Damn book challenge brought to you by Amazon. Final Frontier and Chart Topper titles are needed. I have a whole library of stuff I haven’t read. Gifts for Braxton’s Aunt, Cherry. Talk about women who love their books. The ones I read bring out even more tears by the day. The ones I’m listening to bring out other bodily fluids, or I hope not. Braxton’s book, though? Books I write. Want To B Read.

Gospel 323 ~Point A To B~

474 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 322 ~Of My Favorite B’s~

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Some of my favorite words start with B. Brought to you by the letter B. If only I “existed” on Sesame Street, but they had to deal with death too? I think. Speaking of all that surrounds us, thanks “Tuckems” I write about my son. “Of My Favorite B’s”

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Chronicle 322 ~Of My Favorite B’s~

473 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You could always tell how my day would be without reading the clock, my Pancake.

“But Pancake,” you would harrumph, but you would want to take a walk before breakfast. At the very least, go outside. That is until I started bringing fries back. I’ve been there, Braxton. I remember when I discovered Big Macs. Then McDonald’s $3.29 Lunch. But you were still alive when it was only $3.00. You’re alive somewhere, B, and I doubt wherever that is they’re serving you pancakes. That’s my job. Speaking of which, that’s why I’m waking up so late. No Day Job today, but I did say good morning to the “void?” Am I sticking to the theory that you’ve been reincarnated? Out there somewhere B III? These days I’m back to learning about grieving, mourning, bereavement, etc. Oh, and boobies, Twins. SIGH

Books all across the spectrum B. I keep thinking of ways to honor you. Hell, if you’re out there alive… Yesterday is a perfect example of why I’m not ready yet. It was three hours. Yet when I came back, I wasted the whole day in bed and didn’t eat anything. Well, until 11:00 PM. As far as reading goes, I read a sample of “The 1619 Project” and started “Healing Solutions for Pet Loss.” One of those you clearly wouldn’t be interested in. And, of course, I’ve been raging about the “Great Replacement Theory.” If I wasn’t on a list before, I am now B III. I would honor you if I went back to reading on the loveseat and not talking to myself.

Because you’re out there, B III. My boy, my brother, my back. The world’s so heavy. Bed seems to be the only cure, and then um, when’s the last time I took a piss, Braxton ha. Basic question, but you would know following me B III, the paper around the bedposts. Boobies! Because I would rather talk about them than our bathroom habits. To rise again. I’ve been listening to “The Good, the Bad, and the Crazy Stupid Hot: Succubus 3.” Ian is crying over Alaria while “doing” Meera. I cry over you, and no size of boobies on any specific girl will make up or replace my love for you, B. If I finish your book, will I find you some time, somewhere? I hope. Of My Favorite B’s

Gospel 322 ~Needling Away Might B…~

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 320 ~B There A Gift~

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Heart, Soul, and Mind, and my ass? I don’t even like my ass, mentally, I mean, physically, yay. So, I don’t have much to give, but I give all of myself when I love someone. Love is a gift, but where is it going now? No girl, no furry. B There A Gift.

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Chronicle 320 ~B There A Gift~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, not that it would have mattered to B III. But it doesn’t matter to you either.

As if I need another reason to be in the “doghouse.” That’s one way to get me out of bed, I suppose. But think of it like that “old” song from K-Ci & Jojo, “All My Life.” You know that line, close to me, you’re like my mother, father, sister, brother… whose closest to me? My mother gave me life, and I’m afraid I go back and forth on that. B being gone and all. My father took my life, well instead took my soul… my reason, wanting to live. You and Braxton, though, have another thing in common. Your gifts are that you gave it back when I had nothing to give to you. “And you are the only one, my everything.” No offense.

Never to compare you to such a love as that of my Braxton. And yet I feel as though I must apologize to you both. Hell, I could be apologizing to my B III for the rest of my life. I know I’ll leave you and our children behind someday. Yeah, that’s morbid, again, with what’s been going on for 471 days. But you know what I mean. That’s why time is such a gift, and how have I been spending it? You and Braxton saw me, accepted my worst. With everyone else, I was the worst. No exposition, no excuses. It is simply the fact that I expel breath to continue my existence. Death is your gift as if I were Buffy. I’m Crazy…

Damn straight, because I lost my best friend, second, third? Hell, I don’t know anymore. Gifts for B III’s Aunt, Mother’s Day, Cherry’s birthday, who knows what else is coming. Baby doll, seeing my face in the mirror when I can stand it. Giving this to you and B III.

To begin with, I didn’t have much, and when I got it… yeah, I’m a selfish bastard, I know it. But at the end of the day, both of you only wanted me. And there has to be more than “A Man Provides.” Because I know that love is a gift. I receive it every day; it rains down from Heaven or wherever B III resides. How Do You Want It? B There A Gift

Gospel 320 ~Leash Your Demons, Never Tame~

471 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will