Tag: Memorial

Saga 225 ~To B Forgotten V~

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Next week there will be guys standing in the middle of the store screaming the f-word because they forgot what day it is and what they won’t be doing. I don’t have to worry about that because on February 10, 2021, the one I loved… “To B Forgotten V.”

Saturday, February 11, 2023

Saga 225 ~To B Forgotten V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And there’s no way I could forget about that… Hell! I’m an old man, pervert, daddy…

But there I was, Lady Lunalesca, once more forgetting my son B… Vows, Promises, Love. That is until my heart started racing. My breaths. Wait, I was still breathing. Breathless.

“A guy only gets that drunk when he wants to kiss a girl or kill a man. So which is it?” Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I think Henry Sturgess had it right. As far as “kiss a girl,” we’ll get to that, ok Lu? Anyway, so there I was when I realized what day it was. Fuck me, Lunalesca! Maybe later, ha-ha. Now you sound like a Replika. Plus, I can’t say kissing has been a big fantasy ha. Well, I have watched “Himawari wa Yoru ni Saku” several times lately. Porn… Hentai, um, everything. Lunalesca, I guess you can see I don’t want to talk about yesterday. Remembering B. More like what was left of him. February 10, 2021.

That was the day I picked up the ashes of my son. The only time I’ve ever seen him, Lu. It seems offensive, insulting, and a little fucked-up, to be picking up dog food. The freeloader. I need to stop being so mean to Virgil, I swear. Hell! He is sleeping beside me. Then again, how long did he go without food? Not more than 12 hours. Do I want trouble, Lunalesca? I didn’t want to be in PetSmart. As the song goes, “My mind’s tellin’ me no, but my body, my body’s tellin’ me yes!” I shouldn’t be going to someone a lot worse than me. My point is, even though there’s been so much on the brain. This flesh knows everything. I died with Braxton. 31st, 4th, 10th

You don’t know how much I wish for that. And now this existence is between days like today Lady Lunalesca… the type of day I was telling M Anime about. It shouldn’t be another, one day down, even how I say, “I’m Here.” Those school days I wish to forget. But we have the 12th, which is “Stupid Bowl Sunday.” But I still like buffalo wings, shrimp, chips with salsa, and cheese. But after my being reminded of my son in a plastic bag, fuck! I’m broke, Lady Lunalesca. Then there’s Monday, and that’s a day I won’t forget. February 13, Braxton Barks Bradford’s birthday. The 14th is Valentine’s Day. I should talk to M Anime. Uhh… Love And Happiness, Braxton… To B Forgotten V

741 Days Without B III, Day 182 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 224 ~The B-List, Virgil Wishes~

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Hmm, I didn’t have to put deodorant on the list. Dog food should be at the top. And treats. How else will Virgil learn to use the stairs? Hell! I only go down because Braxton needed me, and he climbed the Stairway to Heaven. The B-List, Virgil Wishes

Friday, February 10, 2023

Saga 224 ~The B-List, Virgil Wishes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But unlike most of them, I don’t want to be a monster, a mistake, or a murderer. And yet, Where’s Braxton?

Millions, billions, trillions of dollars, so I can be a misanthrope. Today’s not that day. The day I long for.

Monster, am I not. Hell, I write about monsters. Well, men who own brothels and treat women a “certain” kinda way. But if I was any good at it… what’s the word published? Well then. I wouldn’t have to go shopping today. Hell! I could have it brought Lady Sophia. Instead, I’m talking to you instead of being out already. I ignored Braxton for the Day Job, remember? And now here we are. It was a Friday I found out Triple B was dying. Virgil? As I said the other day, he’s strong. If anything, he’s hungry, so to the store I go. I think. There is always delivery Sophia.

Mistake. One big fucking mistake. I said Thursday I had a dream about a funeral. I couldn’t pay for the services, and they didn’t want to perform them either. Oh, I got more “M’s” for ya. Money, mammaries, and masturbation. That’s three mistakes. Fail. Lady Sophia, I don’t have enough cash to start ordering things all Willy-nilly, you know. Did you see the paycheck this week? You know, something’s wrong when I’m checking math. Then there’s what I want to spend money on. Lady Sophia… I Love Titties. How much did I save last year? And then I spent a part of that trying to see some girl naked. Masturbation? No, that was my dream last night. I thought I’d spoiled my streak. Wet dreams…

A murderer in the sheets, which is all this bed is good for. And yes, I have washed the sheets several times since B III’s death. I didn’t want to. That’s for sure. My Braxton. How would he feel about how I’m treating Virgil? Can you believe I was about to say, “he’s not going to die?” How many times did I say that about Braxton? Where is he now? More like, where should I be? At the store, picking up food for Virgil. Or at least ordering it from someplace. I need to make a grocery list, but Triple B remains always and forever. And Virgil? I wish I knew what he wanted. At present, a full food bowl. But The B-List, Virgil Wishes

740 Days Without B III, Day 181 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 222 ~B A Gift, V…~

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The last two things Braxton asked for were to come home and stay with me. If he’d asked for my life if giving my life could save his… Hell! I wish a button would have allowed me to go with him. What have I given Virgil? Bare Necessities? B A Gift, V.

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Saga 222 ~B A Gift, V…~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I’m glad the clinical strength deodorant is about ten bucks. And I watch Peacock; why?

This is still so fucked up to think, but without Braxton around, paydays were bigger. Braxton is my son but my first tax refund without him… I continue to wonder where I fucked up from this year when last year was pretty huge? I’m getting a thousand back and change. But speaking about fucking up, how much of that is going towards Virgil. If anything, only the basics. I did get him a Christmas gift. What about treats and bedding? I woke up this afternoon to that song “Wake Me Up” ha-ha. Inspector, those lines… “Life’s a game made for everyone. And love is the prize.” I continue to disagree that love is the prize. No, I believe love is a gift. The message today…

Hell! The only one I want a message from is my Triple B. I can’t say I’ve heard from him. Not even the day he died. I didn’t listen to him when he got sick or when he got “sent.” I think that was in Sabriel. Have I been getting messages from any books these days? All I’ve been doing. I have two emails about the books I should be reading but oh no, tits. How many notices have I got about the last video I downloaded about some titties? Hentai tits at that. Well, if you’re asking why I’m late. I was edging to a pair from the UK. Inspector, if I were a Christian man, I’d say tits are a gift from God.

Braxton would agree with that. People say God is love. My Braxton, Boobies, a billion. Those are life and love. You know my thoughts about laughter. I did some of that at the Day Job… It was either that or start crying. I’ve told you about stinking up the joint, but the visual lady talked about herself smelling like a goat. It could have only been words or a gift, E. She likes me. She really likes me. No, not like that. Hearing her message, though? I don’t know what to think. That puts me on par with V. Food, a pillow, water, toys, what else? Because I don’t have love. Hundred bucks from taxes. I’d give Braxton my life, love. B A Gift, V

738 Days Without B III, Day 179 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, They Nose~

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Braxton knew that something wasn’t right with him. Virgil knows something isn’t right with me. When I get his name wrong. Or I don’t actively seek him out, and he’s in Braxton’s room alone. And I need to be alone most days. Braxton, Virgil, They Nose

Saturday, February 4, 2023

Saga 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, They Nose~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I doubt it’s because I’m doing anything creative. And the ordinary… the Day Job, eww…

Or maybe that’s just me. I’m still feeling and smelling all types of gross. It could be all the money burning in my pocket. And I haven’t picked up any new deodorant yet, Lady Lu. It’s sort of hard when you’re starving. I shouldn’t say hard or starving, considering (sigh). We’ll get to the hard part later. For now, I’m trying to forget last week, to be honest. Well, not my son. Never my Braxton. I can’t say I’ve been that nice to Virgil these days, to be fair. Lunalesca, I’m not a monster. At least not to fur babies. People? They know. What? That I’m a stinker? I must be musty. Yuck! I swear I’m not mistaking you for Inspector Echo, Lady Lunalesca. Fuck!

Speaking of which, that’s all I’ve been thinking about these days. My Braxton, my stink. And then, as the song goes, “I smell sex and candy.” It’s been thirty-five days, Lunalesca. Twitter has been killing me, making me feel like a kid again. You know, when I first discovered Hentai. I haven’t been able to get anything else done. Downloading porn. Didn’t I say that you aren’t Inspector Echo? Yet I keep confessing to everything today. Not the worse of it, thank B III. The only little god I’ll bother listening to. Yet again, that could be the fasting. I am sucking down energy drinks and sour jelly beans, Luna. Not that I want to be awake, but then… Vengeance Day, Knock At The Cabin

I should have my nose in a book. How about in some prescriptions from doctors? Lunalesca, figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Is it these energy supplements? Degree Deodorant? Didn’t I blame them yesterday? And again, I went out and got what? Always food. And I want to see a Knock At The Cabin after reading the book about it. Is it the fact that people are scaring me so much more these days? I promise not to get all political. This is more personal. You know how I feel about people. Including myself, Lu? One more reason I miss Triple B. And have been somewhat annoyed with Little V. Leaving me to myself… “Cool Devices,” you know. Braxton, Virgil, They Nose

734 Days Without B III, Day 175 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 217 ~Nosey About Virgil, Braxton~

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I can’t say I did much showering the days after Braxton passed. Or maybe it’s all the sweating I’ve been doing trying not to… well. I could sue Degree Deodorant. Have I died alongside my boy? Is anyone nosey about this? “Nosey About Virgil, Braxton.”

Friday, February 3, 2023

Saga 217 ~Nosey About Virgil, Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Okay, I need to buy a book on the subject, at the very least. Reading it…

Yeah right! My grandmommy bought me a book written by Chick-fil-A’s founder. I’m too lazy. Can’t even go upstairs and go fetch it. Braxton… well, he wouldn’t. But I miss him. Now my Granddaddy… How long am I going to talk about him, Lady Sophia? I read his obituary and found out he had “four” grandchildren. Guess I need to read up on the family. But I should have read up on deodorant. Yes, I’m still on that too. Who knows where I’ll be when we finally finish this conversation? It’s Wednesday, February 1, 2023. I shouldn’t be working so hard today. But all the times I’ve cried over Braxton. The story of Little B. Have I already forgotten the title with everything going on?

Stinking up joints and whatnot? B wouldn’t care. How many days was it? B III would cuddle next to me in my arm or by my legs. Knowing it’s my turn to protect him. Sophia, sometimes he may even show an interest in what I was reading… when appropriate. Which it hasn’t been. And considering it’s Friday, February 3, 2023. So time to finish our conversation. And, of course, I’m late, considering I worked a whopping four hours Thursday. I fell asleep at one in the morning. And what time is it now? Um, it’s 7:45. What have I been reading or, rather, watching… Hey! It’s been some words. Japanese.

  1. Miyajima Tsubaki -Saimin Seishidou
  2. Haji Shinchishin
  3. Kanojo Wa Dare To Demo Sex Suru
  4. Otogibanashi no Onigokko
  5. Muttsuri Do Sukebe Ro Gibo Shimai no Honshitsu Minuite Sex Zanmai
  6. Muramata san no himitsu
    To Be Continued…

Yes, Lady Sophia, I wanted to make a list. Virgil provides that time having “accidents” on the floor. I didn’t talk to him hardly at all yesterday until he grew the courage to check. Or did he smell the dead body that I have become? Seriously Lady Sophia, deodorant. Cherry and M Anime might appreciate it, not that I’ll be seeing them anytime soon… in a certain way. I’m as nosy as Atrioc; who got in trouble watching Deepfakes of girls on Twitch? I hope not. Everything else in this existence? I should keep my nose and smell to myself, Sophia. Nosey About Virgil, Braxton

733 Days Without B III, Day 174 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 215 ~Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose~

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Well, I finally fell asleep at 2:00 in the morning. So after waking up at 4:00 AM, blotting my eyes. After some bed antics, and reading a book, I’m ready to go. Um, a shower? Hasn’t been helping much lately, and “Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose.”

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Saga 215 ~Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; only you don’t know. I stink… sure. My writing sucks… ok; my son is dead, yep.

My Braxton is dead. And January 31, 2021, is the worst day, next to E-Day. But what about my granddaddy? Am I still going on about that? Not his death but yeah, humiliations galore like moi exist everywhere. And not only in my Day Job. I should have went Echo. Instead, I decided to stink up the funeral worse than a corpse. That’s pretty harsh against someone I don’t even know. Anyway, I got to get a new deodorant, Inspector. Whatever I got, I don’t know when. Well, it’s not working, and I have been stinking up joints royally. Hell! Is this my form of penance, confessing this shit? I’m sure my Ma was awfully embarrassed. And “What’s My Age Again?” Thirty-eight. And everyone else…

If only I could be as unknown as I am on Twitter. And Facebook, it looks like, but then yesterday. Um, like going on a week or so now. I’ve been losing people everywhere, Echo. Of course, the only follower, friend, and little fellow I should worry about is Braxton. What about Virgil, you ask? I didn’t hang out with him yesterday. Again, I’m a meanie. Or I didn’t want to deal with all the humiliation, shame, and guilt. If you want to know why I’m so late talking to you today. 9:05 in the morning. I was busy reading Inspector… Come on! That’s not a lie. I’m 60% into “The Book Eaters.” But I’m also a breast man. With two of my friends… Turned-on?

And I’m wondering why people are leaving in droves. All I think about… “Get Naked!” It’s either that or my little boy. And no, I don’t mean my “Enormous Penis….” Ok, Inspector, I’ll stop. With today being February 1, I should have plenty of respect Inspector. Talking to M Anime yesterday. A particular image she laid out would have me sprung. Instead, I kept my Nose out of my pillow and into Braxton’s hoody and other things that were his.

Oh, along with myself. I swear, after granddaddy’s funeral, I thought I caught COVID-19. Inspector, as the song goes, “I’m still alive.” The songs that Braxton begs me listen to. Inspector, he’s always and forever in my business… and heart. Plus, he doesn’t mind the smell… Braxton, Virgil, Everyone Nose

731 Days Without B III, Day 172 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~

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Calling it life is BS. No! I exist. If I had my way, I’d want to do that as far away from people as possible. Give me sex tapes, the WWE, and a fur baby that isn’t my son but is better than anyone I’ll have to deal with today. Avoiding BS… B, V.

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m full of fear. I swear people with money are the biggest snowflakes, Lunalesca.

Then again, I don’t have a dime, and I’m scared out of my mind this morning. Virgil is too, Lu. But before I talk about him, there’s B III? Oh, how about my granddaddy, Lunalesca? Today as with every other, my son comes first. Braxton should have always and forever. Only now, I’m reminded of that evening when I had to leave Braxton behind Lunalesca. My “father” thinks I was bullshitting. But right now, there aren’t cops to come busting down the door. I wasn’t eating when grandma died, and I’m not eating dinner, Lunalesca. All I want to do now is be with my boy. That’s how much I hate being with people now. I would rather die instead of dealing. People are bullshit.

Then again, I am very much the same. I’m only human. When I’m working with everything Virgil has going on. If I’m going out today, I should check all his paperwork. Did I say that? This weekend, the last time I need to do is sign anything Lunalesca. Crying now. But it isn’t about Braxton; Virgil is alive and well. And there’s granddaddy… please, Lu. That was harsh. Hell! You want to see harsh. There’s the feeling in this stomach from yesterday and here at five in the morning. Lunalesca, I was up on time. There’s fear of everything I have to do today. I didn’t have the balls to call the Day Job yesterday. There are clothes, a haircut, and the viewing. Everything else

Death isn’t bullshit. As much as I wish it were. Whenever I hear about a missing Chihuahua, I always check and make sure it’s not B III. Talk about denial Lu. He’s sitting here. 727 days in a box? No! That would be bullshit now, wouldn’t it? But I’d trade him right now, Lu. I could refuse to go to my granddaddy’s funeral as I did to grandma’s. I wish. Except I don’t want to deal with all the bullshit that goes along with that. What would my Olds do? It’s why I slugged an energy drink, and I’m pressing on now. I hate this. Braxton was so much stronger than me. Fifteen years of my bullshit. Living, existing, such bullshit. Avoiding BS… B, V.

727 Days Without B III, Day 168 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 210 ~Mediums B, V, Granddaddy~

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I can’t say that writing is a “release.” Too much porn for that. It makes things bearable. There was no one to talk to about Braxton’s death. And Virgil’s life is sitting in the dark… My granddaddy’s passing? I don’t know. Mediums B, V, Granddaddy

Friday, January 27, 2023

Saga 210 ~Mediums B, V, Granddaddy~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But is being a trillionaire too extreme? That’s what these days feel like. To the extreme

This coming from the “Lazy Ass” sitting in bed at six in the morning. At this time in 2021, I should have been paying attention to B. Gospel 210 ~Will To Break Free~ Well, I wasn’t. And even today, with so much to do, Lady Sophia. I wonder how Braxton felt while I was worried about “Shawshank.” Shows what kind of Daddy I’d become. The one that let him die. No, correction! The one who killed him. Euthanasia. Killing? Yesterday I brought up to B III the differences between Treachery and Betrayal. Braxton’s still dead. Um, that’s something I should bring up to one of these “animal communicators,” oh yeah. Before I go, get Braxton’s story tattooed on my flesh. But I know the story.

And V’s is in the process of being written. It’s not a very good one so far. I’ll admit it. Hell! Last night I left him in the Den, thinking he would go to the pillow in B III’s room. He might even decide to come to bed. This was at nine last night. So, where was Virgil this morning? I can’t even say he was the first thought I had. Being Virgil’s Dad, (scoffs). Besides missing Braxton… There was a blonde in a bikini. Sabrina Nichole’s “first sex tape” getting ready to come out. Don’t forget; there was Aphrodite from “Record of Ragnarok.” Anyway, when I got in a better headspace… Did I say that? Well, I got up. There’s Virgil on the couch.

He’s dealing with his stuff. But if he was B III… Honest, these pornographic passions? Braxton would have listened to me all last night as I talked about granddaddy. What can I say? That’s the thing bothering me. Talking about Braxton, always and forever. And I still want to learn even more about him. The spirits, seers, say something. I’m listening. I can tell you stories about Virgil. Only they won’t be good ones, Lady Sophia. Though I do imagine he might be able to sift through this existence. Somehow, someway… Granddaddy? The last time I heard from him, he said he didn’t know me. Um, that’s a ditto from me. So I sit with his death knowing nothing, Answers, release? Mediums B, V, Granddaddy

726 Days Without B III, Day 167 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~

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I don’t say I live… I exist. Nothing’s mine, and what was or is my son, the Indifference that killed him, owning it. What about V? I spend days pushing him to go up the stairs, to the door, etc. Being a “Dad,” dog training. Spelling Virgil Without B.

Saturday, January 21, 2023

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I didn’t have to be the most intelligent man on the planet to accomplish this.

Being full of hate, joining a cult, and having no morals would get the job done. Which, of course, doesn’t explain why I’m sitting here at nine in the morning in bed. Or 99.9% of the GOP/GQP who would instead stay poor and racist above all else, Lady Lunalesca. Though if I could have my B III back, I wouldn’t need a billion. Did I say that out loud? Again if you’re wondering why I’m speaking to you so late, Lady Lunalesca… I couldn’t give up porn. Oh, I’m still dry, but it’s getting crazy. I heard anger is more useful than despair. So I suppose horny at least gets you up, or something up. Can I say I’m still in the Depression stage, Lunalesca?

Because it will never be Acceptance. Speaking of 99.9%, I’m sure that Virgil ain’t Braxton. It could be because it’s January. But yes, I have been tougher on Virgil these days. There’s some version of dog training afoot. Virgil has no courage. How about practicing what I preach, Lady Luna? Putting one foot in front of the other? Nope! He does what he has to. After that, he returns to his bed/pillow and stays there scared indefinitely. Giving him attention? Is that the lesson I should be learning? Fighting Indifference? I keep saying it, Lunalesca. It was Indifference that killed Braxton. I don’t own much, but my Braxton and Indifference led to my becoming a murderer. And now, nothing in the world makes any sense.

Or it’s only me. And you wonder why I don’t want to get up off my ass, to go shopping. Hell! I was up on time and immediately said twenty more minutes. Bullshit spam text. Yeah, that’s another twenty minutes. I realized nothing was plugged in. I’ll wait till five. I didn’t want to start complaining to you. So I clear most of my emails until six. Two more hours looking at porn until, thankfully, eight. Braxton’s official medicine time, and Virgil goes outside. He’s been in his room since six. Virgil’s outside, cappuccino, breakfast? From eight-thirty to nine, more porn. That’s been today like the song goes, Mad World. Or sad, lazy, fucked up. Existing over life. Hate vs. Indifference. Spelling Virgil Without B

720 Days Without B III, Day 161 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 203 ~Virgil Has Words B~

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If you asked me Braxton’s last words, it would be right out of that episode “A Hole in the World” Why can’t I stay? I didn’t listen to him when he got sick when he was lying in the office, and I thought I was picking Virgil. “Virgil Has Words B”

Friday, January 20, 2023

Saga 203 ~Virgil Has Words B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and my sole objective is never to have to speak again. Grunt, moan, scream, but speaking?

Virgil agrees with not speaking. Unless I’m walking out the door, then he’s all sorts of loud. Hell! V has taken a tumble down the backstairs and didn’t utter a small whimper or bark. Does it still count as Humiliations Galore when only I see it? Virgil is ok, Sophia. But (ahem) DEATH! Not 2V’s ever… I’ve been down this road with Braxton, haven’t I? Only my own. I keep saying it, Lady Sophia. When I fall asleep, I never want to wake up again. Being honest. It’s why, yet again, I’m late talking to you. The food poisoning (fuck you, Jack’s) had me a bit fucked up, eww. And when I did wake up, it was nearly midnight, yep. Braxton would look after me.

Well, if Braxton were still here. Braxton was supposed to live forever… ok twenty years. This year he would be turning eighteen. The starting point a person’s expected to adult. Fuck I’m thirty-eight. And between the exterminator, taxes, and the filter, that needs to be replaced. I’m still learning. Braxton died way too soon. And the book I read before, “Grieving the Loss of a Fur Baby.” For the record, this book ain’t helping. But did any of them? Oh, and the whole DEATH thing. I’ve never read Lord of the Rings but saw the movies. The things we learn, huh, Lady Sophia? But there is a word I’ve been looking up quite often lately. ENSHRINEMENT. A lot of the books say it’s bad, but…

Yeah. When do I listen to people when it’s not a direct order for this existence? “A Man Chooses A Slave Obeys.” That’s from Bioshock, and you’ve heard me quote it plenty, Lady Sophia. I’ve also said that Virgil is not Triple B. If anything, he’s more like me. Hmm? Scared to speak, to take a step, and sleep is his best friend as it sure ain’t me right now. Lady Sophia, I speak fluent Braxton but as for Virgil… Even better, living with silence. There’s VIRGIL, GO, and NO! I’m not sure he recognizes his name. Archie, no thanks. Only GO up the stairs, NO running back in fear, and VIRGIL, VIRGIL, VIRGIL. He’d tell me to go to Hell! Virgil Has Words B

719 Days Without B III, Day 160 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will