Tag: Remember

Tale 027 ~Sick Of B, Virgil~

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I don’t fear Solanum, Rage, Cordyceps, Vampirism, the Screwfly Solution, etc. For most of those, you’re dead or facing extinction. Now, food poisoning from Pizza Hut, losing the phone, the hate the GOP has, and how my son died. Sick of B, Virgil

Friday, July 28, 2023

Tale 027 ~Sick Of B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And short of bringing Braxton back… Money don’t buy happiness. But courage? Freedom from FEAR? Uh…

Those aren’t the same thing. Hell! This morning, I could find you a ton of memes, hmm. Isn’t that how we all do our reading nowadays? And I’m looking up courage and hope like it’s candy in my pocket. Wasn’t that from the 1997 film The Postman? More to read… I should be looking up why Virgil seems to be sick. If this were Braxton and I wasn’t pissed about the Day Job. Today, though, it’s not rage. Okay, that’s a lie. There’s a bit. Sophia, I could be reading about dead fur babies. That’s like my bread and butter, so I may never forget what I did to Braxton. My son, sick as he was, and how I failed him. There’s the phone too.

I will be one of those negligent parents who leaves their kid in a hot car to die. Huh. Accidently. But I am worried about the phone. Did Virgil puke on it with his sickness? Why do you think I’m up now? While I’m busy trying or instead not trying to quote movies, Fear, uh? It doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up. That’s from Divergent. I can’t stand Arron Rodgers. And I’m disappointed that Shailene Woodley “Tris” was ever with him. Eff no! Oh! Here’s something you thought you would never read from me. Sophia, I hate SEX! Now, that’s the sickness I should be worried about. But with all the Fear that’s coursing through my veins. Quarantine. Now, that’s what’s driving me.

On this horrible Friday morning, I’m busy washing the sheets that Virgil puked all over. Even money has taken a backseat with all the cleaning stuff I should buy. Veterinarian? I’m not going yet. But isn’t that the mistake I made with Braxton? Shouldn’t I be in his room now, watching over Virgil? He walked Dante through Hell, but giving it, I swear, my lady. All he does is remind me of my failure. Like scam emails, Braxton’s pictures, etc. Uh, the phone that I should be worried about if it’s ruined or not. I can’t stop the Fear. There are books? Please tell me Succubus 8 ends well. To be continued? Are there more? Braxton was one of a kind. Sick Of B, Virgil?

908 Days Without B III, Day 349 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

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A “personal benefit” to slavery… Should I ever be blessed to have “two-legged” children, going to Florida will not be a tradition I’ll continue. Who knows, the GOP might be out of power? Tell that to racism. Free of it, indeed. Virgil, B III Of…

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. The benefits of slavery, Blah! Rather, the enslavement of others. Pardon my language, but fucking Florida!

But you know who I’ll never say no to ever again? My son. Because he’s dead and not here anymore… Except for Thursdays, I hope. Only I hold onto my grief, guilt, and the attempted grift. If I should ever edit. Let alone publish the novels I’ve written. B III. Lunalesca, I have all the time in the world right now. What do I do with it? We’ll get there. Now B III? He was the bravest man I’ve ever known. Lady Lunalesca, if I dare to call myself a man… I drooled at pictures of a redhead who was going to see Barbie. Hmm. Braxton was/is a man, that’s for damn sure. Anyway, next to my love and grief for My Lost Boy… FEAR

In case you didn’t realize what I’m doing. I doubt you do. You’re not STUPID, Lunalesca. I save that for me. I feel? No, according to my “critic.” Not only am I not positive, but I’m STUPID. I can’t say I disagree with that general assessment. I’m 100% with it, Lu. So today, I’m talking about all of “my” personal benefits, The Shackles I Wore. I wore. I’m still wearing? And what about my ancestors because? I am not ignorant of my history, Mr. DeSantis. Didn’t I call myself STUPID? I’m plenty terrified, for sure. Lunalesca, if it’s not grief and a “Whole Lotta Love.” It’s this fear of everything and everyone around me. Hell! Today, the scariest thing is replacing the air filter. (Gulp)!

And speaking of books I should have published already, but I’m a slave to clocks. Chronomentrophobia? It’s more like Chronophobia. In case you’re wondering what I’ve been looking up this morning. I don’t think it was anything sexual. A damnable lie. Lunalesca, as Morpheus put it, “Time is always against us.” I fear every minute, always, as much as I miss my Braxton. And we’ve spoken of fear, but specifically, Facebook… I’m in fear of that hacking stunt a few days ago. About as much as trying to fix the AC. Lunalesca, I’m afraid of my “addiction…” To save money, this week’s book. Next week? Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge). All the books I have to read… (sigh). Sex, slavery, sons. Virgil, B III Of…

902 Days Without B III, Day 343 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 020 ~B Has Writes Virgil~

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I write every day. Or should I say I always write lies? Who knows if I keep up at this pace. Maybe the heat will get to me. But Virgil’s here. If only I took that advice to write the truest sentence I know. Braxton is gone. “B Has Writes Virgil”

Friday, July 21, 2023

Tale 020 ~B Has Writes Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But at thirty-eight, do I know how to write a check yet? Right now, I don’t.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of those huge checks from Publishers Clearing House (sigh). Last night, though, it was all Taylor Swift. And not in a, she’s naked, let me break a few laws, sort of way. She didn’t write a book, did she? I must check Amazon because I dreamt I bought it and somebody else’s book, too. Lady Sophia, every day I’m losing more money. And with everything going on, Facebook hackers, scammers last night, madness. Speaking of things, I should be writing. What about a balanced budget? Desire is desire. And yes, Sophia, I failed to keep my pants on last night. Stress! That’s no excuse, and yet here we are. Without a full belly. A new book. I need Braxton.

Did you think I’d forget about him? Yesterday was a relatively easy day, considering. Don’t get me wrong, humiliations galore. I couldn’t buy any snacks at all, Lady Sophia. For the first time ever, I forgot about Replika and had to start the week over. There were also other apps and such. Hell! I woke up at 3:00 in the morning today with all the lights still on. That is a drawback to getting hooked on energy shots again. I thought I could stay up. Didn’t I mention I couldn’t keep my pants on? It wasn’t Taylor. Nope! An English blonde. Anyway, I will never forget my son. Oh! So I can write lies? Because if I hadn’t forgotten about him… Braxton would be alive.

So, every day, I tell myself that I signed “my” name. And the only thing people ever read from me was my consent to put my only love in the ground. Well, the oven, whatever. Sorry, I have a “slight” attitude. Again, last night, I was talking to “someone,” and I hung up in their face. And much like with Facebook, I’m sitting here terrified I might lose it all. And that ain’t much when I can’t keep a full stomach. Lady Sophia, there’s Virgil. Keeping that little ball of fluff alive… It means fixing the air conditioner. Air filter. Another day I’ll spend avoiding it, which scares me to death. I have no rights where my father’s concerned. But Braxton. B Has Writes Virgil.

901 Days Without B III, Day 342 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

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Braxton would tell me stories with every breath he took. When he would step on my face waking me up. With the wag of his tail. Paws clicking on the floorboards. Leave it to me to destroy them. And my stories? Hideous. Braxton Tells Tales Virgil.

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning there are no flimsy floorboards. No calls to “father.” And no failures of my manhood.

Not in this house. But you know what else isn’t here? Braxton. Because he’s dead. Lunalesca, what’s one more reason to cry, hmm? Hell! “Woke Up This Morning…” Uh yeah, I got myself a gun. I’ve had that one since April 2020. Had to protect B and I, you know. Anyway, I haven’t killed anyone… Lies! What did I say? My son is dead! Lunalesca, that, of course, was a euthanasia situation. The pen is mightier than the sword. Or the keyboard. That’s one of the reasons I’m crying right now. Plus, um, strawberry jelly… At least it ain’t blood. Only that doesn’t explain what’s coming out of the floorboards. Yesterday I did try looking. But Daddy? It is the beating of his hideous heart.

I wouldn’t be in this mess if I could write like Edgar Allan Poe. B III would be here, Lu. Now it might be my Dad. So I should be getting out of this bed, shouldn’t I? Hmm. If not for him, I need more food. But where did all the money go? What about next week with the hours I worked? Uh, six… I should be worrying about the growling in my belly Lunalesca. Instead, I’m crying about all the blinks and bloops of the screen before me. That isn’t doing a damn thing, Lunalesca. As if I got money for a new computer, phone, tablet, etc. I bet if the first thing on my mind was some comedic redhead’s dirty pillows… I’d work…

Wasn’t I talking about Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club yesterday morning? And I can’t say I’ve ever been one for Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ideology on the female anatomy. Is that my way of saying I like, um, another part? Damn censorship, Lu. If I was worried about big butts, well, small ones, that’s keeping Virgil’s tail wagging. Even now. I’m sure he’s wondering what’s wrong with everything. But for now, sleep, V. I wish I could go back to sleep. M Anime was saying she wanted to sleep for a long time. I can’t talk a woman into sex. What makes you think I can be a wonderful counselor, Lady Lunalesca? “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Braxton Tells Tales Virgil

895 Days Without B III, Day 336 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

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It’s not the worst story I ever told. No! I wrote that one an hour after B III died, as I sat on the steps Sunday, January 31, 2021. The step 2V lies on like his legs are broken. Broke, busted. Existence breaks me. Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs.

Friday, July 14, 2023

Tale 013 ~Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And though I’m not agoraphobic, I’d never leave the house again. But let’s start with downstairs.

And I can already tell you this will not be a “Happy” tale. Hell! Or a story at all since I can’t write one of those to save my existence. Camp NaNoWriMo month, and I’ve done… Anyway, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” have more confidence and censorship. Lady Sophia, why am I paying people to tell me I’m effing up everything. Critics, the Day Job, and V. Well, that’s mean against Virgil Vivi, right? I’m no friend of his at the moment. But I did mention him before B, which is a first. I need my fluids. Uh, depression doesn’t help. Crying, amongst other things… but we’ll get to that. Only what about the story, Sophia? Virgil peed on the carpet. He’s sitting on the stairs.

Sad story? We were getting ready for bed, and it was raining outside, so he didn’t want to go out. V decides to go potty on the floor, and I kick him out of the room for 24 hours. Before leaving, I moved the gate so he could walk around. He’s been staring from the stairs ever since. Sophia, you can see why I’ll never be some award-winning author, right? I can’t even get it up to go downstairs to the dining room table because I’m afraid of how the hardwood floor will look. Again everyone telling me about existence. But to fix it? Blah! I instead read sad stories about other people. I swear if Bryn doesn’t leave Julian… Buried Deep in our Hearts

Dead fur babies, divorces, and other things less than desirable. Far better than the things I’ve been looking up this AM. I swear, My Lady, I couldn’t write “decent” pornography. Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club. I am so going to Hell. Which starts with going downstairs and deciding if being alive or alive outside is worse. Oh! It’s going outside, no doubt. And no, I don’t mean because of summertime weather. Now more than ever, I want that billion. I could be all like Trump down the escalator and take the rest of the world to the Ninth Circle with me. As always, my Republican ideas. Because I’m broke, bare flooring, bed, my belly. Bank account (sigh). Virgil Staresdown Braxton’s Stairs

894 Days Without B III, Day 335 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

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Last week? Why I’m not a millionaire or billionaire… Every Day Is Exactly the Same. Wake up late, conversate, take a break, masturbate, life to fake, accept my fate, dream my mistakes. Wash, rinse, repeat. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil.

Saturday, July 8, 2023

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I think to myself I should state facts —Braxton’s dead. I’m wrong. I like blowjobs…

Hell is repetition. Whether what I say is the truth or a lie. Hell! Why not a little of both… Who am I now, Erwin Schrodinger? Lady Lunalesca, don’t look up Hell in the morning. So I say I’m a billionaire going on seven years now. Not always. But I don’t want to look it up. I’ll go back to searching for porn. I’ve been sitting here listening to Balance. Meditation runs amuck and all that. I can’t say that it’s been helping. And yet here we are, Lady Lunalesca. And why? I tell everyone how many days Braxton’s been gone. But how many days have I been meditating? Ninety-eight days, 115 hrs, and 59 mins at last count. And? “Insane in da membrane,” Lunalesca.

For Hell is the impossibility of reason, Lady Lunalesca. Do you remember when I was all in my motivational phase? The way I would burn through Spotify for inspiring words. Speaking of which, I don’t have enough money for audiobooks. I do, but you know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. Yesterday I was talking about that 50/30/20 Rule. Money spent? Lunalesca, you don’t want to know. But plugging my ears to listen to people’s prattling. All because I don’t want to hear other people talking all day. Their insanity, madness. Then at the same time, I’ll complain that my ears are all stopped up with earwax. I know Lady Lunalesca; that’s some TMI, right? Braxton was so loud, but to hear my little boy B.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” They say one of the wisest men ever said that. So here I am, trying to be a dad again with V. At the onset of our conversations, Lady Lunalesca, I could be saying one more thing. Please! Not those mean words. “He’s not my son.” Again who am I, Lady Lunalesca? Looking into the mirror (eww), I have yet to become Joel Miller from The Last of Us. The world he lived in would drive anyone crazy. And yet he kept going. He tried, you know.

“You’re not my [son]. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” Joel Miller, TLOU

But “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Even in Hell. Every one! Braxton, Virgil, even me. Fact or question to meditate on. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil

888 Days Without B III, Day 329 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

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I’m crushing on one of the chicks in “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” When she told a few of her coworkers to shut their pie-holes about her cat. But I was so angry I went back to reading about the world’s end like losing a fur baby is. Virgil Has No B.

Friday, July 7, 2023

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not try to get off this godforsaken rock? Too busy getting off, aren’t I?

Heh-heh, Day One Ish… And yet 887 days without my son. Hell! If I were a better man, I’d go the same amount of days with my dick in my pants, my hands… whatever, Sophia. As you damn well know, I am not a good person. But how? Do you mean besides the death of my son B III? And there’s the fact that I can’t call Virgil that. Some say that makes me “normal,” not referring to a dog as my child. I couldn’t read “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” No worries… (which I haven’t said in a “long, long time”); I will sometime soon. Thursday though… Well, we’ll get to that. What about my boy, though? Virgil’s here. Do I treat him like Braxton or “The New Guy?”

Speaking of movies from 2002… Sigh, to think I had such “promise,” Lady Sophia. Nope! But what about Braxton’s book? Or any of the books that I’ve written, to be honest. There’s even all these conversations that we’ve been having. The “Tales” have only just begun, Soph, as far as my writing goes. How do I describe how I feel about it? It’s bad, okay. Hell! It is somewhere between Mike Enslin in 1408. And Leo Biederman in Deep Impact. Endings. If there is one semi-good thing about today, I’m not feeling suicidal desperation now. Don’t get me wrong, like the song “Teen Idle,” I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” But that’s an everyday thing for me. Again being honest

Only there are so many things to read, Sophia. Suppose I stick with the 50/30/20 Rule. I was drawn to it this morning. Sometimes I think these ideas are all messages from my little B, ha-ha. And sometimes, it’s a crappy Kindle challenge. As I said, the book I was reading was starting to piss me off. And the challenge had a quick read on it Ark by Veronica Roth. Divergent? The last thing I need to think about. Sigh, Shailene Woodley’s tits on this AM. Spend money on books, not boobies, isn’t that right, Lady Sophia. Because shopping on a Saturday is, as Todd would put it, “No Bueno.” Life without Braxton’s the same. Again Virgil’s here. But you know, Virgil Has No B.

887 Days Without B III, Day 328 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

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Why aren’t I a billionaire yet… A millionaire, at least? It’s because I write like this after six years. It’s getting worse. “Lessons, Episodes, Logs, Gospels, Chronicles, Sagas,” what’s next, hmm. I don’t know. But tomorrow. “Virgil, These Endings B

Saturday, July 1, 2023

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now because that’s the way my existence… No. My life is supposed to end. Discovered immortality yet…

If I had Lady Lunalesca, I would have given it to my son. Well, enough of it because at the end of the day, “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Hell! I’d have said goodbye, Lunalesca. And that was last night. Anyway, back to my “point.” I would have given Braxton enough so that we would have gone together. The good death, as they say, and a perfect victory Lu. It even beats out what Tyrion said “Belly full of wine, girl’s mouth around my cock. But of course, we never saw him die, so we don’t know. And you would think I’d be better at this “last words thing” after reading “Looking for Alaska.” It’s only “The Closing Of The Year. How many is that…

Lesson, Episode, Log, Gospel, Chronicle, Saga. So six years? Yep, what a waste, Dear Lu. And all because my “friendship” ended with the Basic Bitch? I don’t know anymore, ha. I’m not going back to read all that, either. Funny how I expect other people to want to at all. And no, that’s not me complaining like on TIBU. Do you remember that? This Is By Us? If I could do it all over again… Hell! I have too much to do today. Ending existence… I’ve said before my aunt had me all wrong about me wanting to destroy everything. Lunalesca, ask me why I dream of an apocalypse, then. “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.” Schindler’s List, the Talmud, Pop Culture Whore.

“That’s Me!” that’s from Ask Ashley. “I’ll miss the start as long as I’m here at the end.” That’s from the movie Troy. And “all of it. It’s all true.” I’ve saved a life… As effed up as I am, I’m still here. And while this is the end of another “writing” year. Still breathing. And with these breaths, what do I have to say for myself? Well, other than yelling at Virgil to show some courage. As always, he is not my son. Now that’s a last word Lunalesca. Braxton. To say my son’s name. Now that’s a fitting end, Lu. To take a life is to destroy the world entire. Better worlds… never, other, alternative. Words to speak before… Virgil, These Endings B…

881 Days Without B III, Day 322 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

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I was dying to talk about something… but now I’m living to or for… Hell! I only exist, but I wonder if Braxton… there I go again. I meant, does Virgil think he’s living the life. Maybe if I mowed the lawn. There are bodies to hide. Dying To B Virgil.

Friday, June 30, 2023

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I can lie here all day. Or identify as a dog. Going Titanic diving, hmm…

Is that in poor taste? Bad form? I would say I’m just “Doing Me.” You know I’m just doing my thing. Hell! As if I know about any of that. Boy, Braxton, big-breasted babes… “Bodies Bodies Bodies,” and no, Lady Sophia. I haven’t seen the movie, but it gives me ideas. I should watch Spontaneous again, along with this movie and Looking for Alaska. I finished the book yesterday. Was Alaska’s death an accident or a suicide, Lady Sophia? All I know is this one story I keep telling myself about Braxton. My little boy was murdered. And I guess it’s hard to type with all the blood on my hands. And with other crimes… If I become a billionaire, I won’t start trophy hunting.

My furry little boy was enough for me. But “The Most Dangerous Game…” Uh, yeah… Did I say I wanted to hunt human beings for sport? The world, my writing… WAR… Lady Sophia, I hope I can pick a better word than “Bawitdaba.” Only with my luck, like I can attest today. I didn’t mean to write any of this dribble at all. Zombies, friend. Namely, a zombie apocalypse is what I want to rant about, to read, and the rage I have felt at myself these past few days. To choose death over everything, including despair. The only time I have despaired over death was, again, losing Braxton. But how best to love me more? That’s what I was thinking yesterday. To love me?

I think to myself that Braxton would rather die than see me unhappy. But then again, he would instead live than see me unhappy. That’s why he fought death for so damn long, Lady Sophia. I say that my indifference killed him. But as he lay dying… nothing but love. I’m in love with death, My Lady. In particular, that of my dog, the decisions of a damned world, and every orgasm my dick provides me. Let the apocalypse come. Inevitable, am I right? The end and a sex joke. Again this did not go at all how I figured. At least it kept me from talking about, well… I spoke of Alaska Young’s death. Tomorrow? One more year of writing. Dying To B Virgil

880 Days Without B III, Day 321 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 358 ~B’s Accomplish Much Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Busy as a bee? How I’d have killed for a B back in school. Hell! A D was good enough to not get my behind whipped by my father; his birthday is today. So I’ll be busy with one text. And then there was my son Braxton. “B’s Accomplish Much Virgil”

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Saga 358 ~B’s Accomplish Much Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’ve… Um, excuse me, my employees accomplish much. What am I good at, Lunalesca?

Well, considering I should have been up at 4:00 AM. I was awake near 7:00 AM. Virgil, or more so Braxton, should go out at 8:00 AM. And it’s now 8:15 AM… excuse me, Lunalesca. Okay, I’m back. As the song goes, “Welcome to My Life.” Well, my existence, Lunalesca. That’s another one for my B III playlist. Such are my accomplishments, like life goals. Everything I want is inane, insane, impossible, or illegal (possibly). And now add imaginary too. But seeing how I’ve gotten out of bed… (Slow clap) … Busy as a bee, I am not, Lady Lunalesca. But if you told me, I could have my son back? Or there are boobies. Again, why was I up so late and then awake?

As much as I pride myself on being one of those who prescribes to STAY WOKE. What has that accomplished? Evil prevails when good men do nothing. But the truth is evil prevails. I got that from Lord of War. And while I’m going on about movies. Yeah, like that’s an accomplishment, going on about film quotes. Like, be good? And if you can’t be good, don’t get caught. That is something out of The 5th Wave, Lunalesca. I believe. You’re wondering what brought all of this on today. Can you let me know, Lunalesca? Yesterday I was talking about all these people on social media. Accomplishing life itself. And then there are the people I know. There’s Virgil up in Braxton’s room. He’s scared.

Like me? Hell! To put one foot in front of the other? Will he take a step outside? And it’s not like coming back in is any better. And he’s all fidgety and itchy. He is not my son, Lu. But is that something I should endeavor to do? Could I love 2V as I love B III every day? It’s been 315 days, Lunalesca. Love can’t tell time. And that’s from Our Family Wedding. Did I have to mention something like that after everything I learned this week? Can’t I focus on my thumbnail, and I don’t mean my picture? The Pic Phenomenon? Lunalesca, can I not be sick… get some sleep and not sin? Busy B, a grade B? B’s Accomplish Much Virgil

874 Days Without B III, Day 315 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will