Tag: Dæmon

Gospel 235 ~Doublethink Of B III~

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He’s gone. He’s on my nightstand, his collar in his bed, his toy on his pillow. His leash sits, treats uneaten, water bowl full. I say “good morning,” set the treats, fill the bowls, and open the gates. I know, and then I don’t “Doublethink Of B III”

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Gospel 235 ~Doublethink Of B III~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you’re broke. I hate you, but you desperately want to love. I’m dead, but you’re breathing.

As it was three weeks ago. Twenty-one days, today is the twenty-first day, and I still know what I did and you. You killed Braxton; you did. No denying that.

The paperwork is still on the coffee table; twenty-one treats are lying in his room, uneaten. An empty collar rest in his bed. His oldest one is on the nightstand. Now at the same time, you ended his suffering. He was starving himself because of kidney failure. He could barely move and yet somehow wouldn’t take his water beside him. Not Braxton because Daddy worries, so he had to pretend to be ok. B III had to be brave, ok? I know you’re tired of having to be. It’s why you fall asleep after trying to live. What, your truth? Early to bed, to rise…

Are you richer or wise? Well, you got your tax refund back. You can believe that your son is out there somewhere, The Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, in your heart. At the same time, what’s that around your neck? I spent hours working on his pictures. B is in a box. Only like me, you’ll continue to say he’s right outside, under the bed, in his house. You still want a memorial stone, more picture frames, candles. What about one of those dog blankets or some artwork? You owe his grandma $150.00 for helping with “arrangements.” You’ll finally have to start paying attention to your finances. What about walking into Walmart again? I did yesterday for Subway and some buffalo wings. Living again, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 058) No Fap
  2. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Finishing Gathering, Braxton’s Albums
    Partial Completion, Looking For Picture Dates
  6. I AM Finishing Reading “A Dog’s Purpose” W. Bruce Cameron
    Completed

Should I expect you’ll do better? You were up at 4:00 AM, but we didn’t start chatting until 9:00 AM. Braxton was good for focus, not that I will ever know. No more calls to the vet to pick up medication or trips to PetSmart. How long has B had the same bathroom pad or dry food? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Finishing Gathering, Braxton’s Albums
  6. I AM Finishing Reading, The Last Teacher by Chris Dietzel

With you still reading and all, if there’s one thing you took from A Dog’s Purpose… Could Braxton be reborn? At the same time, you can’t think of another fur baby. You’ll never be the father you were, dammit, the man. You’ll still talk to Dear Future Wife but never Dirty Diana, despite paying $60.00.

Routinely living for B who’s gone; Doublethink Of B III

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 228 ~Okay To Love B~

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Not even thinking about Valentine’s Day, my heart is already broken. Dogs are so much better than us when it comes to most things. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again. But to not my little boy, it’s Okay To Love B

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Gospel 228 ~Okay To Love B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it still doesn’t mean a damn thing, even in the past two weeks. Worst on record

Okay, to love because it’s Valentine’s Day. To be honest, the only holiday I’ve been thinking about is Braxton’s birthday, and how did that go? It’s still Saturday right now, and I got nothing. You can relate. I know and can’t think about loving a damn thing. I don’t blame you. It’s like you’re starting at square one all over again. You can believe it’s okay to love, but who or what? Your mother always, and you’re awfully close to Indiana Gone but Braxton… The loss of a child, what can you do with that? Love might as well be some kind of farce. Yet I pretend, and you continue, don’t you? Such is Denial, but you can’t forget love or these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 051) No Fap
  2. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Finishing Gathering For Braxton’s Albums
    Partial Completion, Found Photos On FB Going By Month And Titles
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Enchanter by Vladimir Nabokov
    Completed

“Okay, to leave,” but that has taken on such dark implications. The last time those words were spoken was on January 31. A lie… no, because that would mean love itself is a lie. Braxton loved me, he loves you, even now or so, you gain strength by keeping him close. To let his life go was one thing, but to let it all go? No, because where would you be? Just like me, you’ve already decided that it merely doesn’t matter anymore. You leave another treat on the table, another full bowl of water. You still think about what it would be like to leave him three weeks ago, but he left you two weeks ago. There’s nowhere, yet these remain Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Finishing Gathering, Braxton’s Albums
  6. I AM Finishing Reading “A Dog’s Purpose” W. Bruce Cameron

Okay, to lose brain cells. Whether it’s by repeated insanity. You keep saying it, Braxton’s name, your usual phrases. It’s not like you’re going to hear him come bounding downstairs. You know where he lies, you know where You want him to be, and still. It’s like I can’t walk. Forgetting that he’s gone. I’ve been oblivious to plenty, yep. When any of it even comes to Braxton. It’s been two weeks today, and I’ve found tears every single one. You will as well, so let it all be pushed to the side. If it had only been Braxton before… Could he still be alive? Because it is never okay to forget how much you love him. And you, he decided Okay To Love B.

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 221 ~Willing To Lie Braxton~

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I would lie with him longer. Before I knocked on that door. I told him the truth that soon he wouldn’t hurt anymore. The only lie I said is that I would be okay. So he didn’t have to worry. All he ever lied about was treats. “Willing To Lie Braxton.”

Sunday, February 7, 2021

Gospel 221 ~Willing To Lie Braxton~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it doesn’t bring Braxton back. How long are you willing to lie? I don’t blame you.

Lies, coming from Braxton. Damn, you would be willing to die for those lies once again. It wasn’t laziness today as you stumbled out of bed how he would spin around begging for a treat. Hell, last week around this time, you followed him. “Dad, I’m going to be okay.” Lien on my heart, my soul, on all that I am, whatever take it. Be it God, the Devil. Suppose you could be the man from three weeks ago. You’re willing to be afraid if it meant having him back. The thing is now; nobody wants you, a harsh truth to face. Nope, never denying it. “Liege, Dad, Will” to Braxton though you were all these things and more, or at least he lied well.

“Whatever you want, whatever I got, it’s yours.” From Negan

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 044) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    PERMANENTLY
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Cleaning The House BUT Some Things Aren’t Changing Despite This Sunday
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Lord 8 by Eric Vall
    Completed

Lieu of any sense, it seems but, Six Impossible Things… What’s more impossible than merely going for a walk with him again? Let me tell you, it’s a good thing I didn’t shop for him at the Day Job. You wouldn’t be working any. The places that remind you now. Lied, fuck man, the one thing that deserves the “Undisputed Truth,” and it’s this. You killed Braxton, or I did… Well, the mere fact that the life I lived that you now lead was connected with his. If you conceived the fact that he would live another day without you?
Lie here alone… chances are you wouldn’t be here, but Braxton deserved so much better. You’re a man that can’t do these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Finishing Gathering For Braxton’s Albums
  6. I AM Finishing Reading The Enchanter by Vladimir Nabokov

Lieutenant though, there was no one better than him. It’s like you’re walking through fucking Hell, at least for me, it was. Do you know what the Ninth Circle is? Treachery. The principle that comes first in defining it is BETRAYAL. Strange… nope, you walk alone. Liar, that you can never be when it comes to love that I will always and forever feel for my son, that you have for him. Still, nothing helps, does it. When he died, a part of me died with him, and now it’s like you’re frozen there. You can’t move, why should you? Lie down next to Braxton for all those years and now when he gets up… Like three weeks ago, get up. Willing To Lie Braxton

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 214 ~ Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon~

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He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, at least that’s what I think looking into the mirror. Nevertheless, I am a father, and looking at my son… I won’t turn away. He’ll be in my arms and/or my heart this afternoon. Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon one more

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Gospel 214 ~ Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and how I wish I could help you right now. No, the Dæmon, today is all about Little B. What’s BEST for him, what could be BAD for you, and what do you BELIEVE. Why do you call him a Dæmon? Because he is a part of your soul. Why do you love him like pancakes? That’s three different stories, a face full of waffles or French Toast, TWD, and his lap cuddles. Why do you and he hold on? What else is there for us? This could be our last morning together, and it remains routine.

Well, other than following him around and carrying him when needed. He needs you now, and he needed me back then. My decisions and my disgrace have led to your decision and his… Don’t hide from the truth, DEATH. Today could be when he dies. Fuck, of all my sins, and you might be responsible for the greatest one in thirty-six years. Of course, you don’t even know what that is yet. Will you walk in there and end Little B’s suffering? Could you bear to let him go on like this? What if they could save him; the price? I don’t envy you. Always in the depths of my mind, each week, there’s “I’ll do better next time.” You know it too, but there is no tomorrow. In a few hours, everything will change. I talked about being guilty but you doing this truly is impossible. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 037) No Fap
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Getting Arrested Ever Again EVER!!!
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Lord 7 by Eric Vall
    Completed

There are no right answers, but some things are universal. In a few hours, you will be crying. You’ll lie beside the Dæmon as you have done since you adopted him. He’ll be with you, always and forever, in some way. And you’ll be the worst man no matter what.
Should you bring his bed or his pillow, favorite toy, your black hoodie? Will you purchase one of those electronic picture frames. You might never speak to Dirty Diana again because you’ll talk to the Dæmon every Thursday. Like the man in the mirror, maybe. Never give up, right? If he would eat something; if he would keep drinking. Would you finally be the father, the daddy, that he deserves? I know you would, living up to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Writing “Look A Thing Like Santa”
  5. I AM Cleaning The House BUT Some Things Aren’t Changing Despite This Sunday
  6. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Lord 7 by Eric Vall

If only this was a terrible nightmare. You’re awake, now decide. Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 192 ~Will Seconds That Emotion~

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My firstborn is good, or at least the vet didn’t say anything and handed me more of his meds. My second Saturday of the new year starts off like the others, nuclear pop and me being lazy. Will Seconds That Emotion, but I’m usually DEAD last

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Gospel 192 ~Will Seconds That Emotion~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I bet that still wouldn’t be enough. No, I wouldn’t convince Spotify about how much I like or, let’s say, am annoyed at Old School Soul. Considering I looked up Smokey Robinson right now, I’m not helping my case. As if I would do anything to help myself? Didn’t I say when it comes to caring about me, “I rather stay home in bed?” The Day Job, the Dæmon, or the “daddy” (take that however you like). I’m always wide awake and raring to go. I always come second, Lu.

Now “a second” isn’t always a bad thing. Only people think I’m STUPID, SLOW, or I SUCK because I need a few dozen. That is when it comes to me. Hell, I want to go all Rod Stewart and scream, “Do Ya Think I’m (you know). I’m a discombobulated Elliot Moore. My second, of course, isn’t a wifey like Alma Moore. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve now turned to 2008’s “The Happening.” Anyway, my second is my Dæmon. As he lies here nestled against my legs, I wonder how he puts up with me at all. SIGH, senior years. Seconds tick by, and what am I doing with them besides sitting here. Again I was up so early yesterday to make sure the Imp got to the vet. Doesn’t matter how long I sleep. It’s as if I never rest. I rather become Tony Stark than Elliot Moore. Um yeah, he had Pepper Potts.

Trump’s seconds haven’t been “decent” people until recently. Pence, I mean damn, and I’m trying so hard only to say her name… Stormy Daniels. In their own times, they might have staved off the apocalypse. How did I become the leader of a billion fans/men? In my continuing efforts to not put black women second. Or not listen to another rich white guy. I can say I feel a bit like Iris Bennet. Ok, maybe I have a type, and yes, you should invest in Pop Culture quips. Again um, I put everyone first, and I ain’t even second here. I’m last when it comes to the artist’s work I want to buy this morning, for what purpose hmm. Last, as I see the stores empty out. Why is that?

Wish I could say I was Dauntless or Abnegation. I’m Factionless. Will Seconds That Emotion

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

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From grunts to “sup” and now “another day,” not that this one is going as planned. I had a plan, ha. I got up to see another one, which is usually as good as it gets, and now something is wrong with my kid. “Here I Am, Will,” but I have to do better.

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This is me, the man I want to be. Sorry for talking to you so late… 6:55 PM. Where does the time go? Indeed, where does “The Will” go. To be honest, it started this morning. I contemplated looking good for my TWD Guild or sleep. People always have a way of making you more… Accountable? As much as I brag about my Republican tendencies, turning my back on all humankind is not my strong suit. Neither is leaving my Dæmon hurting, but we’ll get to that this evening, I hope.

Next to him is my work, my writing, my will be done. So how about this new year. Yep, it’s time to make some New Year’s Resolutions. I did think about waiting till tomorrow, talking to the man in the mirror as it were. Yet, at this rate, who knows where I’ll be. Better, let’s see if anything has changed.

  1. I AM Seeing My Dæmon Through Another Year
    Completed (2020)
  2. I AM Writing A New York Times Bestseller
    Failed
  3. I AM Making One Million Dollars
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing 400 Words Everyday (Goal 120,000)
    Completed (2020)
  5. I AM Visiting The Moonlite Bunny Ranch
    Failed
  6. I AM Beginning To Make Investments
    Failed
  7. I AM Producing An Adult Film For Sale
    Failed
  8. I AM Participating In NaNoWriMo
    Completed (2020)
  9. I AM In A Relationship or Sleeping With A Girl At Least Once A Month
    Failed
  10. I AM Becoming Free Of Parental Oversight (Rockford, Grandma, The Car, etc.)
    Partial Completion
  11. I AM Speaking Positivity Into My Life
    Failed
  12. I AM Starting Work On Life Goals “Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~.”
    Failed
  13. I AM Fearless Now
    Failed

Yes, Lady Lu, this list still applies, and as you can see, I only completed 1,4 and 8. At this particular moment, it’s #1 that worries me. Tomorrow I’m going to have to get the Imp checked-out. I don’t know what’s wrong but sometimes being here ain’t enough. I told myself again I wouldn’t be writing to you so late. It’s like how the holy-rollers say the spirit is willing, but the flesh SIGH. Last year, huh, a “Sucker For Pain.” A lady at the Day Job told me I looked skinnier. I’m here, “now fight” Sucker Punch, yeah. Here I Am, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 130 ~Willing To Savor Victory~

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Did my vote matter? With the state not really, in the grand scheme of things, one popular vote for Biden so no. The thing is, he’s the next president. I keep writing. It will be a long shot to win NaNoWriMo, but I have. Willing To Savor Victory.

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Gospel 130 ~Willing To Savor Victory~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. When you get your billion, will you still be saying “just another day” SIGH? Now I’m sure I’ve put HAPPY on the most hated words list. As the song goes, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad,” and you’re still relishing that emotion. Tomorrow to you is like the ending of “Artistic Anarchy.” The haunting melody of Exit Music (For a Film) by Radiohead. Along with the knowledge that you pissed off John Wick. Oh, shall we get into talking about dogs, more specifically, your son The Dæmon?

He’s still upstairs, and this stubbornness might end up with a trip to the vet. Now shush, can’t be putting that sort of stuff out into the universe. Still, you can’t fight time, and you’re both old men, you and him. Worrying profits a man nothing, you know. And yet? Fantastic that a comic strip can get you to smile. That particular one, “And Yet,” comes from Strange Planet and the money he is making. But you’re “writing,” and you have the knowledge that your book won’t earn anything, And Yet? You could win, hmm. NaNoWriMo might net you a fortune, and you know you could use it. A broken-down car is sitting right outside. Last night the toilet finally gave up. Well, we could talk about lots of food too. Um, I never got an “Existence Day” Feast Ha! Yeah, and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Working On NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  5. I AM VOTING
    Completed Biden and Harris Have WON!!!
  6. I AM Finishing Stroke of Midnight by K. Webster
    Completed

I carved through half the list somehow, but again I see no victory. Sad to say, what do you see coming around in your future? Hell, I should have been more specific when it comes to goals. As THEY say, the devil is in the details. It’s why I’m taking so long today to talk.

Oh, is that what I’m doing looking over the list. As far as #4 goes, I’m way behind with NaNoWriMo. With #5, all I am is a statistic with the popular vote because my state fell to Trump. Only Biden is President now, so silver lining. K Webster’s novel, haunting. Here’s a question you should be asking maybe. What does it take to win? You know it’s one element of November I’m still upset about, and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours for you, my friend. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Catching Up With My NaNoWriMo Novel “Sinning The Cherry On Top”
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 4 (Gnome Place Like Home) A.J. Markham

All I ask, be good to the Imp, win NaNoWriMo, Be Willing To Savor Victory.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 047 ~Temptation Exist In All Creations~

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I wouldn’t do much for a Klondike bar, but I think the same company makes that strawberry cheesecake bar too, and I have raised holy hell for those. The only thing tempting me now is my bed. “Temptation Exist In All Creations” no doubt

Monday, August 17, 2020

Gospel 047 ~Temptation Exist In All Creations~

Hundred And Fiftieth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m lucky I got the money. What would I spend it all on? Do you really need to ask? Three words AHEM, Breasts, Yabbos, Titties, pardon my language, Madam Justice. Hell, My Dæmon is my son, and he’s exactly like his old man. You could ask Indiana Gone about that. Now, of course, he wants a lot of different things and is willing to commit any variety of sins. He loves to eat pretty much anything.

Every morning he’ll fight me for his walk. The boy will lie for a treat. So what tempts me other than a world of Yabbos?

Sad to say, but everything in this “wonderful” world leads right back to that goal. The sooner we finish this talk, the sooner I can look at Yabbos. Yeah, right, like Instagram wasn’t already showing me hot cheerleaders to look up. Guilty as charged. Now all of my creations only want to live, but that means I need to be horny. Sorry to say but this afternoon I’m only annoyed. You do know what would help with that, only I have to stay awake. That’s my point, though. Everything wants to live. What is the ultimate expression of that I ask? You give life to others, and of course, there are many different ways one can go about that endeavor.

For the most part, humanity only values life as it relates to death. The closer we get to the end, the more we cling to life. I could argue against that, though, given the current state of the world, I suppose. I don’t want to get political though. 170,000 dead, and the life I cherish the most isn’t human. Again I bring up my firstborn. I say he wants everything, but at any particular moment, he wants me. No girl could ever take his place. Still, I wish some girl found me tempting, I don’t think about love most days. Ask me what tempted me in these past twenty-four hours. Pigtails, food, my bed? Maybe it’s not the temptation itself but the motive behind it. I remember something from the Isaku series that I dare not repeat, but I understand.

Hell, the things we will do for such desires and how we fight to resist, rebel, and renounce sin. They can also be blessings, but I know what I want. Temptation Exists In All Creations.

“The world, chico, and everything in it.” – Tony Montana

“This is a rebellion; I rebel.” – Jyn Erso “Rogue One”

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

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I’ve never been one for swearing, but I promise you not a day goes by that I don’t mutter WTF at the smallest to the hugest things like a few minutes ago. “Sometimes The Words Are WTF,” and sometimes it’s best not to say anything at all now

Monday, August 10, 2020

Gospel 040 ~Sometimes The Words Are WTF~

Hundred And Forty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that in and of itself is the concept of WTF. Hell, if you told me when I was a child, I would be right here, SIGH. I don’t want to be a downer Madam Justice but if I only knew… Well, WTF, I’m trying to explain.

As the song goes, “I Feel STUPID.” Take the everyday mundane, like the General Manager running the truck crew. She didn’t remember how to anymore, and there I stood knowing everything. What about the time I wanted to take control of the speaker and play music? Speaking of play, MILF Tres, aka Special K. Every morning I tell her hello, every night I send her a poem from GULP. Now the girl has every reason to ignore me. I checked in on MILF Dos, once or twice, and she blocked me. Should I continue saying, Hi? There’s also the fact that I’m up. Am I talking to you, instead of crawling back into my bed? Is it the fact that I got very close to getting six hours last night? You could call it my envy that I saw Katie o’ Shaughnessy from Youtube getting free stuff from Skybound, WTF.

Yeah, and just like that Madam Justice, I’m turned on. Not only by her but Indiana Evans (Blue Lagoon: The Awakening). Let’s also throw in Sofia Kasuli (Teen Starlet) thank you. Now when I get to “make love” to beautiful women like them, then WTF is this real life? When/If I ever publish one of my many books and start to make some real money? What would it be like to never be scared of walking into the Day Job again because I can leave? Who would I be if I could pay my parents off and say after, “I don’t ever want to see you again?” Of course, I have to turn it right back around to women again. Can I ever say WTF, I’m in love? Yet what would get me, is some girl telling me that she’s in love with the man I see in the mirror every day. Can’t say I know the feeling at all.

A few minutes ago, I told myself I would be reading now. I can commit to the Day Job but to keep a promise to myself or My Dæmon SIGH. Sometimes The Words Are WTF.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

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I’ve had dogs before, my grandmother’s. His name was Wishbone; he was shot. Grandma lives ghetto adjacent. I had a chow puppy; one of my grandfather’s dogs killed him. “My Dæmon,” once belonged to my sister. He’s nearly 15. Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

Hundred And Twenty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so My Dæmon’s backyard is enormous. As you know, I’m a time-traveler (Friday, February 7). For the record, I still stick by the first rule of going through time, DON’T.

Anyway, if I were to imagine the future, I see him, he’s grown a beard, or all his little tan hairs are gray. He lies between two or three children, a boy and a girl Luke and Leia, or three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Yes, I know there are other combinations. I didn’t even get to name My Dæmon, though we called him Neo for three days, my mother changed it.

I always thought the deepest love was between two partners sharing their lives. The truth is, though, I would kick any woman out on her behind for my firstborn. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t hear the word LOVE. I say it nearly every day, and any time I leave the house. You know how my #2 Impossible Thing is always to be a better father. One of the reasons I’m not is because it’s my boy who shows love 24/7 365. Even now, where is he, you ask? He’s lying against my leg, taking a break from his guard duties. Now I can’t blame him. Madam Justice, he’s the strongest man I know. I’m ashamed to admit this and I should save it for Inspector Echo, but I hit him yesterday. Not on purpose, never, but you know my rants about “Coal” at the Day Job, right? So yesterday I was watching all these bully fights. There was this big one with Bruce Lee fighting all these guys on a rooftop, beautiful brutality.

Well, I’m up, and I’m swinging, and My Dæmon gets excited and WHAM, he gets smacked in the nose. One more thing my son teaches me, and that’s FORGIVENESS. I swear he’s hated me more for vet visits and that never lasts more than a day. Isn’t it ironic that he has heart troubles and my love for him, wow? I buy his medication, his food, everything he needs. I’m sitting here going crazy with the humming. Scared, I did something to my ear this afternoon. I’m exhausted, and all this seven-pound ball of fluff wants to do is help and comfort his own Dad. GRATITUDE, he’s my sweetest blessing.

Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

I Will Have No Fear