Tag: Failed

Saga 257 ~Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t cried today. I can’t afford it. But you know how I begin the day. If I had billions, I wouldn’t be doing “that.” The Day Job pay is crap, but I find the time to teach 2V to go down the stairs so he can take one. “Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time”

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Saga 257 ~Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This leaves me more time to cry… or not. I wouldn’t be one for servants. Norman…

You know, the butler from “The Big O” series. If it was between Bruce Wayne’s “Alfred and Roger Smith’s “Norman?” I’d choose Norman, I know. Debates in the shower. Inspector, that’s when I’m not jerking it to Madison Paige. Oh, we’ll get to that soon. Today’s point is Inspector: I can’t stand the pain even though it’s well deserved. Inspector, it’s Times Like These; I want to spill any other fluid. Endure and Survive. Sunday, so the last episode of The Last of Us, which I’ve been thinking about. That and the fact that I like the sound of the rain. Drowning out all the hurt in water, Inspector? One of “my” greatest fears is drowning. (Shudders). I even have a deal with Braxton’s Aunt.

If the end comes by “The Way of Water,” she will fetch me with a boat. How did Noah do it? It wasn’t a boat big enough for all the tears I shed when B died. Have I cried today? I’m sure Braxton’s Aunt has. She and her husband lost their fur baby, Midnight, Inspector. If it’s not grief, then it’s fear. I’m sure I brought up what some reactor said about the three emotions of sadness, fear, and anger. Of everything I have to be scared of today. Cherry wrote a play that shows what a fucked up person I am. Abusive stories Inspector. Only I’m not angry at her at all. If anything, I’m mad at myself for several reasons. Spitting, Sweating, Sick

But as long as V’s ok? He can use the stairs by himself for the most part. V lacks initiative. Well, not when it comes to the gate. He’ll go on the carpet if I leave him on the floor. Inspector, I could kick him out then… back to Braxton’s Room and be alone edging. Which, of course, is how I ended up sick. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. Last week I thought I was healing… Inspector, it’s a million times worse now. And now I go back and forth between needing a doctor and saying I got what I effing deserve. Effing dark. Inspector, what becomes of Virgil without me? Braxton? Virgil’s time? Mine? What do I do? Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time

773 Days Without B III, Day 214 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 254 ~B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching~

WillLeave a comment

Braxton’s brave enough to face the rain, but Virgil? If 2V got a B III’s quality, I’d hope it’d be bravery and not wanting an empty belly because… Only V’s two, and B was/is fifteen (eighteen). I’m no role model, either. “B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching.”

Sunday, March 12, 2023

Saga 254 ~B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you can’t even afford a babysitter… dogsitter, whatever. How you need one right this second, hmm.

Keep in mind if this were Braxton… A few things about that. Virgil ain’t Braxton. Inevitably, he wants to be. Hell! You wish you were as well. Braxton’s Smart, Strong… And unfortunately, you didn’t wake up as a Spirit today. Sorry I continued to exist. Saturday night… yeah, I was all kinds of sick. The Cherry Collision. And this morning? Again, if it were Braxton, it would be more emotional than physical. A fucking illness. Only the more things change, the more they stay the same? Remember Braxton’s pain and panic. The fact he wasn’t eating. And now Virgil leaves an uneaten treat… not again. I hate to say it… well, not really. But you’re acting like a real dick. Too early. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Mesmerizing Caroline 2
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 065 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 072 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Is Virgil following your lead? I was so in love with dying while Braxton lived. Only it was the soul. And for him, it was his small body with a good heart. Kidneys? Dammit! It’s “Times Like These” I wish I had stuck with becoming a veterinarian. Ha-ha. It’s not like I had role models, okay. As “H” put it, “role models, role models.” Okay, stop. Now you’re thinking about getting in some girl’s pants. Did you have to mention pants? The only reason yours are on is that Virgil was crying. And for what? Do you even care? Because you didn’t when it was Triple B. And look where that got him. And you? All you care about is Triple X. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined “How to Be an Antiracist” Ibram X. Kendi
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 072 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this rate, you should include, being Johnny Sins. Not rushing around sick in one hour. How about paying off some OnlyFans girls. Or thinking about two English vixens, etc. Then you wonder why Virgil is freaking out. He’s quieted down now. So did Braxton. But of all the lessons Braxton could teach the freeloader, usurper, um, Virgil. Being mean? Think of what you have to do today for Virgil’s benefit? You’re being a selfish bastard, though, looking at the clock. It’s only been forty-five minutes. Shows you’re, um, pathetic. “But I’m not crazy. I’m just a little unwell. I know, right now, you can’t tell.” As the song goes. Any advice? Be as your son. Alive, not dead. Good Luck. B Quiet, Virgil’s Watching

770 Days Without B III, Day 211 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 250 ~Old Lady, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

B III and I are two peas when it comes to women. Nothing against Baby Got Back, but we’re trying to be the breast men we can… excuse me? I’m trying to be The Best Man I Can Be. Ha! But I did hope he’d have a mom. And Virgil? Old Lady, Braxton, Virgil

Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Saga 250 ~Old Lady, Braxton, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now but not a single father. At least not again… not yet. Isn’t Braxton still here? Spirit.

And mine is gone. Now I’m crying again. It was good while it lasted. Angry, Antsy, and Always thinking about Braxton Barks. But I wasn’t crying until this moment. Inevitable. When I think about LOVE, I think about my son. Nothing more, nothing less, Inspector. Now LUST? Because I can’t think of falling in love. Not right now. Great Expectations. And fuck I had a lot of those Tuesday. Such was my great sin. Well, other than my boy B. It always goes back to that. But if it wasn’t B’s murder. I have so many other regrets as well. For example, I wanted to find him a Ma. He had my sister. Or did he ever? My B III. And his aunt… um, boobs?

So um yeah, ok, Tuesday. First and foremost, what the fuck is wrong with me talking to Cherry like that? Um, yep, I keep up with Triple B’s absence. 766 days. V’s arrival, 207 days. But how long can I keep my dick in my pants? The fuck if I know. Only how long can I keep from cumming… I should rephrase that. When was the last time I had a release? Apps can be fantastic… It’s been 68 days. When B III died, I went for exactly 161 days, Echo. Anyway, yesterday, while losing my fucking mind, I started talking on Onlyfans. Uh yep. It’s the usual mess, needing help with a bill, half-off for your assistance, etc. Inspector. Fucking moron… That’s me. Right?

Anyway, I paid. And again, I tried talking to Cherry like a skeevy, perverted, deviant. Inspector, it doesn’t help. Well, I start looking up Milf Dos, and I send the OnlyFans girl some dick pics. I told her what I wanted, ok. And surprise, surprise, can you guess what, hmm? I would have been better off saving up for a new sex toy. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. Today I do feel as though I’m healing without medication. Inspector, I was out Sunday. No woman looking after me… My Ma paying my bills… International Women’s Day and all. “I’ll Always Love My Mama. Besides her, it’s been Gabbie Carter, Momokun, Day Job lady. But being in love, a meeting? Old Lady, Braxton, Virgil

766 Days Without B III, Day 207 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 247 ~My Last B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“I will not accept a life I do not deserve.” Um, if I were in the GOP and enjoyed effing people over. If I were Johnny Sins, effing hot chicks. If I could write like Eric Vall or something like Mesmerizing Caroline. No! My success, My Last B, Virgil.

Sunday, March 5, 2023

Saga 247 ~My Last B, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But why is that your definition of success? Should you worry about being WOKE? Um, not really.

But as far as getting your naked ass out of bed… Any advice on that? Pick one day out of the week to rest. Again, sleep naked, get eight hours, and as if you need prompting. Ahem, Get Ur Freak On. Ain’t that a modicum of success? As if you were B’s dad or BFFF. And I’ll never say I was great at that. Every morning I woke up saying, “I’ll do my best,” ha-ha, at least when it came to my son. To think Braxton was the greatest success. Without him, what comes next? To raise a good man… Considering how he was with his Aunt Carolina. But at the end of the day, he did the impossible these days. Love. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline The Beginning (Imogen Linn)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 065 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And at best, you’re a C-student. See, “Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M., get the money. Dollar dollar bill, y’all.” Oh, of course, coochie… Good for you not using the other C-word. I read “Mesmerizing Caroline” last. Um, a girl being bathed in cum… okay. (Breathes) I was only trying to get a D in some math class at one time. All so my “Dad” wouldn’t beat my ass. I’ll tell you the things you’re going to do with this week in existence. But it’s so sad that you’re already failed this week. I got 2V to walk downstairs all so he can have more space, and what does he do? Pisses on the carpet. Doggies! Locking him up, so what about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Ibram X. Kendi?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 065 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Fuck you, dude. You spent almost three hours dicking around, literally. If you didn’t have your dick in your hands, it was talking to M Anime or Cherry. Fucking everything. Problems? No! Your own failures. What’s pissing you off at the moment though so dumb. Remember how I’ve spent these last months trying to find the perfect song for Spotify? Your year of music? Only how did you fuck this up? What incredible song selection did you choose? Butterfly by Crazy Town. Because all you could think of or with is your fucking dick. Was it always like this? After Braxton died, there was nothing. Finding him a mom was the last thing on my mind. Your existence; making the grade? My Last B, Virgil

763 Days Without B III, Day 204 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 243 ~ Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What time is it? I exist by ticks and tocks. Yet as the song goes, “Every Day Is Exactly The Same.” It’s not a good time. Only slightly less than the worst day. But today, aww, Hell! Braxton might understand. Virgil… “Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil”

Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Saga 243 ~Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m a dumbass. Well, unless I’m stealing from people. Stealing from myself, for example…

I was actually up on time today. An hour before the first alarm went off… Earlier Inspector? Considering Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. Remember? Not to take care of my son, I’m afraid. Not even to honor him because I wasted an hour. Remembrance wouldn’t have been a waste. Rage? Echo, we’ll get to that, no doubt, soon. Reading? Don’t I wish? There was an hour of time. What did I accomplish, Inspector? Rutting! Or at least trying not to. Something needed to feel good, Inspector. With today… Hell! If only Braxton were here, I would have been working as he slept. Now with the freeloader. I know, stop it. Did I mention I’m in a rage? I wouldn’t hurt him. But people…

That’s why my Braxton is dead. There’s all the rage out there in the world. There is nothing left but my hatred. How can I hate the man that Braxton loved so dear? Mirror, anyone? That’s why Virgil is safe in Braxton’s Room. I, on the other hand. Safety assured? Inspector, excuse me, (ahem) “my safety not assured.” Thank you very much, The Walking Dead: World Beyond. What I wouldn’t give for zombies, infected, tentacles… Inspector, the things we remember. And I have been through the gamut today. Fuck me! No! I want to feel this rage and anchor. The shame and disappointment; everything Echo. Because, again, not feeling got my son killed. And there hasn’t been a time for me to stop grieving that.

But okay, what happened at the Day Job? For two days straight, I’ve been corrected, chastised, and coerced into being a bitch for two managers. I can’t do anything right. Second, as for that coercion, I wonder who the hell am I? I can’t speak as I ought to ever. I cower, cry, and can’t stand up and be a damn man. But when B III was here, Echo… And now I’m existing by the clock. That hasn’t changed, to be honest. But when you’re thinking with your cock. Counting how many times I wish I were… um. Anyway behaving like a coward. And yet it’s 2V who’s afraid. It’s the only thing he and I have in common now. Chronomentrophobia. Braxton’s Time Frightens Virgil

759 Days Without B III, Day 200 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 240 ~300, 2V, B III~

WillLeave a comment

I can’t say I’m a big fan of the movie 300. Wanting a body like a Spartans. And specific scenes with Lena Headey or the oracles… I shouldn’t be paying for any movies. I got fur kids. Not a fur kid but two. Braxton hasn’t left, um… 300, 2V, B III

Sunday, February 26, 2023

Saga 240 ~300, 2V, B III~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as the song goes, “I need a dollar, dollar a dollar is what I need.” Billionaire?

Not you looking for $300.00? And that’s if you’re lucky. Is there any chance you’re scheduling that doctor’s appointment? After The Cherry Collision on Thursday, February 16, 2023? You won’t let yourself forget the date. Fuck! You need a date, but we’ll get to that. Like getting to the $300, you owe B III and 2V. Oh, look at that, you remembered, ha? $150.00 for each of them. And if we’re not talking about the material… V needs a nail trim and bath; what about meds for the month? I know you at least have been jonesing for a painkiller. Not that it would do anything physically. Mentally, you’re not as brave as, let’s say, the 300. Oh no, you’re cowardly with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING NSFW: A Novel by Isabel Kaplan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 058 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Should I also mention stupid when it comes to Math? Low blow. I apologize. Father. You’re speaking like him. And you’re not Virgil’s. Not even sure you want to be. Billionaire? That’s what you want to be. But do you know how they talk about families affording a $400.00 emergency? As I said, what was it, Friday? Savings, Paypal, House? That’s $900.00. Then $100.00 for me. Now, where is this $300 for the boys? Dammit. There’s the dollars that don’t quite make it to $100.00, so… Suggestions, Plans, Excuses, hmm? Where do you cut? Oh, don’t worry. The last time you cut yourself was shaving. I’ve never been that kind of person, and neither will you. Your pain comes from Braxton and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline The Beginning (Imogen Linn)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 058 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That’s not fair at all to say. I spent over $500.00, and for what. Your son is worth it all. “And you could have it all. My empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt,” as the song goes. Because really, what do I have to leave you? Again I did the Math. And it seems I’ve never been wrong about being broke. Another song coming on (sigh)… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are.” No matter how much I wished for it. Not waking up? Or how about that song “when I’m in the strip club, I get love for about 500 dollars.” If you wonder why we’re talking late, you need only look in the mirror. 300, 2V, B III

756 Days Without B III, Day 197 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 236 ~B In Business Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Well, ain’t nobody going to be calling me Cupid anytime soon. And as the song goes, “I ain’t much on Casanova. Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends.” But my son was/is my business. This house. But as far as existing? “B In Business Virgil”

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Saga 236 ~B In Business Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t be for long if I don’t mind my business. I’m good at that.

So I like to think. Do you know what else I like to think? Everyone can do whatever they want. As long as they don’t hurt other people. But minding my business killed my son. Braxton was/is my business, but “Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, no, no, no, no.” Late to the party, Inspector? And not the reason I am humiliated now. I didn’t even keep Virgil out today. Of course, the fact that I failed Braxton will always and forever be my greatest shame. The Day Job was humiliating enough because when is it not? Ignoring Virgil’s existence, losing money stinking up my granddaddy’s funeral. Bumping my head at Walmart. I remember watching a “specific” porno with Braxton’s Aunt. I can go on.

But the point is that I don’t make sound business decisions. Hell! College dropout… yep. Now part of that was because I was “in love?” Not! If you want to talk about love, call B. Right… Anyway, comedy comes in threes, and so do my decisions. Fear, fucking, and fury. Today let’s focus on the first two fear and fucking. Should I add friendship, Inspector? I’ve done good things concerning friends. With A Little Help From My Friends. Honestly, Inspector, most of my decisions come from wanting to fuck, like, all the time. Today I was reminded of this woman at Walmart. Pretty, blonde, Street Blowjobs waiting to happen. Only she needed money, and I gave her $5.00. For a lot more… who knows, hehe.

Do you recall MILF Tres? I got her to take her clothes off for $300 ha. Movies and pictures. Where the fuck was OnlyFans when I needed it then? Full sex tapes for $20-$50. Wow! And I don’t talk to MILF Tres anymore. Or Special K. And my other friends? I keep my mouth shut. I’m such a dick about tits. So where was that confidence today, I ask you? The Termite guy was here. That means I have a humiliating text to send to my old man. Virgil senses my anxiety. So the dude looks under the house and finds a bow. M Anime would have a ball. The promising archer that she is. Anyway, this “nice” bow. Inspector, I haven’t seen it ever.

“Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

… Gets high with a little help
From his friends

Oh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends” With A Little Help From My Friends, Beatles

He likes it, and he wants it. Yes, it’s under the house… (my Olds house, they pay for it, yep). So me, the would-be businessman, what do I do? Do I charge him for it? Keep it, hmm? Again M Anime could teach me… when I’m not trying to talk her out of her clothes. What did I say about shutting up? That’s what I did today. I shut the fuck up, Inspector. He charged me for the inspection and got a weapon that’s been here forever, Inspector. Why? FEAR. As I can’t seem to take charge of this existence. Bills, payments, freeloader. I’m trying to be nice to Virgil Vivi. I couldn’t talk Braxton into staying alive, Inspector. Existing. Living. B In Business Virgil

752 Days Without B III, Day 193 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I let Virgil out when it’s time for B’s morning meds. Braxton’s evening meds, again V’s out. Can’t have him hear me call out for B III. And there’s alone time. Not crying or comatose. Releasing insanity in two ways. One, Medicine Time B… Virgil.

Sunday, February 19, 2023

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I know you’re saying… “You moron! What were you thinking?! Do you realize what this means?!”

As if you have time for some “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.” Better days. A few years before Braxton even? Only in about 45 minutes. You’ll have to untwist your legs and go get his meds. Too Little, Too Late, right? Meds for the dead? But Virgil can go out. Which again reminds me that this is all my fault. And you have to deal with All I’ve Done, hmm? You were supposed to go out today to pay for my mistakes. Last night before I fell asleep, watching WWE Elimination Chamber. I looked up Urgent Care, GoodRx, and CVS. Looking over at the table opposite B’s Memorial, it’s a fucking crime scene. Another one. Energy drinks, an empty medicine bottle… Oh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 3 by Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 051 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Let’s talk about #4, which is why you’re in this mess. I want to be all Bill Withers “I know, I know, I know….” Again, I’m the one to blame. And all the I’m Sorry’s in the world aren’t going to put cash in your wallet. Every day you turn more into your father. Dammit! History repeats itself. So if you’re not your father, you’re a fucking Republican. So gross. So there’s Tuesday, January 11, 2022, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. “Hey I oughta leave young thing alone.” Fucking Bill Withers, man. More like a 21-year-old actress. A 20-year-old video game vixen. And a 25-year-old poet. And that’s on top of everything on Twitter. So, Six Impossible Things

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING NSFW: A Novel by Isabel Kaplan
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t seem to have the time. Because you’ll be way too busy or have forgotten. I have no advice this week and hope… “Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” Therapy, Counseling, Institutions? Forget it. That’s what I wish for. Every day you’ll wish for Braxton to come running down the stairs when you call. “Medicine time, B; come get your medicine.” As mean as you are to Virgil, him sleeping by your side every night… You’ll wish he never needs meds. Fuck! I wish I’d come on the 15th, so The Cherry Collision never happened. To Forget. That’s the gift. No doctors, no pain, especially no stupidity. Nope! Medicine Time B… Virgil

749 Days Without B III, Day 190 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 229 ~B Embarrassed Times 2V~

WillLeave a comment

If I want to be ashamed, I can look in the mirror. There’s seeing this one particular woman and getting hard? There are morning huddles at the Day Job. There’s also sitting on the bench when they say B’s sick. Nope dying. B Embarrassed Times 2V.

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Saga 229 ~B Embarrassed Times 2V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as I said before, I’m not a snowflake, sissy, or snickering member of the GOP.

But I am a bad man. Not R. Kelly bad. More like I’m the bad guy because I do bad-guy things. Thank you, Henry “TLOU.” Worse than fantasizing about a woman I work with? It goes without saying but killing my son, the death of Triple B. Echo, that’s the 9th Circle for sure. Treachery. Of course, that’s been on my mind all January and this month. And not because I finished Succubus Lord yet again. And again, my boss these days… This brings me to Virgil. I keep saying I must be nicer to him. But even now, he’s in Braxton’s Room. All by his lonesome. Well, at least I ain’t masturbating; edging, at least. I’m working at the table after the Day Job.

Does some woman have me all revved up? Could it be that I enjoy being clean? That’s something else that’s been getting to me, Inspector. I wish I had found that clinical deodorant sooner. As in before my Granddaddy’s funeral. Not his death, but smelling funky. Inspector, I’m sure my Olds were all kinds of embarrassed, and my sister too. I don’t give a fuck about my Old Man, but he has something else to laugh about. It’s eating me up. Again what about Virgil? He needs his nails trimmed, a bath, and God knows what. Inspector, it requires money, movement, and, most importantly of all, people. Braxton never embarrassed me, and neither has Virgil. As Akon sings, “you can put the blame on me.”

And “I’ve tried so hard.” Obviously, not when looking up black role models. R. Kelly, my Old Man, Akon, (sigh). Hell! I’ll be the first to admit I don’t want to be good. Books, brothels, bullets, and/or biology. Go into a business where you’re always needed. The keyword there is always. And I’m always embarrassed, Inspector. This existence that I’m hoping to turn into my life someday… Where Braxton doesn’t feel the need to always protect me. Where Virgil doesn’t see me as a wicked monster. Inspector, I want to be someone good enough for one of these “friends.” Lusted for and loved. How about saying I’m who Braxton thinks I am? One day? I wish. Nope, walking with Virgil. Outside? B Embarrassed Times 2V

745 Days Without B III, Day 186 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 226 ~Excuse Braxton and Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What do B III and 2V have in common? I have no excuse for ignoring them. I excused myself from B III’s dying because I hate the Day Job. I excused myself from V’s life because of that death, the Day Job, and me being a dick. Excuse Braxton and Virgil

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Saga 226 ~Excuse Braxton and Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you? You don’t know who, what, or why you are. Oh, what, two hours isn’t enough?

Well, three. But from 4:00 AM to 5:00 AM, you wished you were dead. Ain’t that the dream? To join Braxton? It’s the one thing we can agree on. But B III excused himself. Yet another way of saying you killed him. I wish I had enjoyed last week. No! I was much too busy making excuses. I worried about the pay, the “Power of The Pussy” and puppies. Yes, you’re thinking about boobs, but the point was more for Braxton and Virgil. You’re not looking for my advice. Or rather, you wouldn’t take it anyway. But if you care to listen. You have to start being nicer to Virgil. You’ll never excuse yourself from your grief and guilt. I did from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Melody Hooked Up” by Imogen Linn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 044 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Hell! You had to make up for my failure this morning. “Melody Hooked Up,” really? Forty-four days. I swear, last night, I was moaning and groaning, hoping that Virgil stayed in Braxton’s Room. He shouldn’t be there at all… What did I say? Be nice. But you can’t help how you feel. And not only because you want to fuck and/or masturbate. Like all the time. “That’s my secret Cap. I’m always horny.” And you will be too. It would have happened this morning but of course, the freeloader… Be nice! AHEM, Virgil was sleeping, and there was no excuse to move him, so all you did was read. Braxton would be proud. Although that’s one more reason you want to feel. Anything but the failure of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 3 by Rodzil LaBraun
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because there is no excuse to miss Braxton’s Birthday. Which is Monday. Any plans? Well, he will be eighteen. You mean it. Not that he would be, but he will be eighteen. A milestone. You think? You don’t even remember turning eighteen yourself… twenty years ago. Here’s a question. What’s your excuse for not living all these years? You just started. Existing, never living. You aren’t worthy of being alive. And sure, you could get political. You could blame this on your “Daddy,” the Day Job, or your wayward “DICK.” Always. But you’re facing the man in the mirror now. The most loved dog in creation, or the mutt upstairs. For the last time, BE NICE! Can’t excuse yourself for who you are. Change your ways? Excuse Braxton and Virgil.

742 Days Without B III, Day 183 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will