Tag: Question

Journey 029 ~Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk~

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Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, and Hulk Hogan are all gone, Lucky. Wow, that’s harsh, but Five For Fighting said, “It’s not easy to be me.” And my five? Braxton, Virgil, me, M Anime, and B’s Favorite. And how many Ants? Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk

Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Journey 029 ~Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I let Carpenter Ants eat the house. Well, my Olds house… The house they bought me. A man…

And what kind of man am I? I’m not Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, or even Hulk Hogan. I’d like to say that I’m better than any MAGA Cracker Hat, Inspector.

However, don’t I still watch the WWE? That makes me an effing hypocrite, doesn’t it? And I’m as yellow and red as those tights Hogan would wear. Yellow because I’m a coward. And red? I’m angry at myself for being a coward. What do I see in the backyard, hm?

“Why them Biker Boyz wear yellow?”
I said, “‘Cause they scared!”
They said, “Soul Train? Why do Biker Boyz wear black?”

I said, “Because they want to be Knights!”

–

“That’s my secret, Cap: I’m always angry.”
Bruce Banner, Hulk

All that green, Inspector Echo, and in that green are Carpenter Ants. Or under the foundation, wherever they are wrecking my Braxton’s former stomping grounds.

Inspector, this was my Braxton’s home and now Virgil’s. And my Old Man is going to smash me. M Anime?

Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, my M Anime. If she knew, I mean, really knew the coward that wants to smash her… Safely and consensually, of course, we’ll get there.

But not if there’s no house left. I’m not man enough to defend it. I’m not man enough to fix it. No, I’m sitting right here on the loveseat where my makeshift family once resided.

Me, my Braxton, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Virgil met her, too. And she loves him.

Inspector, I could love myself if I were Professor Hulk. But I’m more Hogan. Do you know why Marvel’s Hulk is my favorite? I would rather be Black Panther, Iron Man, or have Captain America’s morals. Anyway, for me to always be angry. I must be fearful. And really STUPID!

Be Not So Fearful. I’m effing terrified to open the back door but not to make love to a woman. And speaking of a backdoor, what about “My Girl” and The Temptations she offers? Didn’t I say sometime this week that we were having discussions about Hard and Soft Limits? If I’m going to be her first… Well, nearly everything. She wants to explore her backside as well. The Succubus Series… Anal. Honestly, that will be a first for me, too. But while she’s going all Shakira “Underneath Your Clothes.” I’m scared to be from underneath the covers. I’m praying. Inspector, I promised not to do that after B’s… Euthanasia. And speaking of which, Echo.

Sorry, I had to check Virgil for bugs. Smashing everyone’s lives. Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk

1641 Days Without B III, Day 1082 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 022 ~Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil~

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Earwax is gross. But when B was here to bark, bite, and be the cutest thing, according to pretty, pretty girls. Then silence. The noises now. Tick-tock! My account is draining. My girl, I want to hear… come by. Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil

Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Journey 022 ~Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I remembered the sounds my Braxton made. If I had paid attention, Wednesday, January 27, 2021. Effing Indifference!

Question time. Which is worse, Ignorance or Indifference? This is what makes me ‘better’ than MAGA, those Cracker Hat Effs! Or so I tell myself. Caring for my fellow man…

Okay. “Now that is a lie.” But I love Braxton. And what happened to him Sunday, January 31, 2021… Euthanasia… Isn’t that water “Under The Bridge” as the Red Hot Chili Peppers sing, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” But how do I feel today, Inspector?

There’s this movie “Sarafina!” And she begins to pray, “Make me numb, Nelson (Mandela), make me numb.” I could hear myself saying, ‘Don’t wake up,’ or ‘Just sleep,’ only I misspelled the word ‘die.’ And this morning it finally hit me. I miss Braxton’s noise.

Effing duh! I knew that the moment I walked into the house and all was silent. Hell, I should have called Braxton’s little brother Ghost instead of Virgil. He never makes a sound, even when I’m throwing him around, checking him for creepy crawlers, Inspector.

But back to my question. Ignorance or Indifference? That’s something Virgil has over his big brother. If I sense danger for Virgil, I don’t hesitate. It’s one of the reasons I’m still “Alive.” Thank you, Meat Loaf. Where would V be without me? But with B, it was “Just one more peaceful day.” Only it wasn’t. I wanted to sleep. I was ignorant of Braxton’s needs, Inspector. And indifferent because my rage would have destroyed us. And now B’s gone.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day

And it’s been a while
Since I could look at myself straight
And it’s been a while
Since I said I’m sorry.”
Staind (2001)

So while I was busy cursing the silence, I should have welcomed it. Because every effing noise scares me now. Is that why Virgil is quiet? Except for when I leave, the clack of his nails on the floor… What, Echo? I have no money for a Nail Trim. And if V was with B?

Do you see why I need music, manuscripts in audio form? Uh audiobooks. And the multitudes of reactors laughing at movies on YouTube. Please, I’m still mooning over @SeeJaneGoTV yabbos. “Yeah, hm. It’s like candy.” I wish Jane’s vanilla pastries made a CAMEO appearance. And what about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, my M Anime. The noises she wants to make… Eff me! Ignorance is bliss. Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil.

1634 Days Without B III, Day 1075 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

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Failing as an American? Become a MAGA Cracker Hat. Relish in hatred and ignorance for those not the “correct” skin tone. Be broke. I’m nowhere near Cracker Hat dumb. I like Yabbos. All colors, shapes, and sizes. I Need A Dollar. My Change, B, V.

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t made a dime this week. And much like MAGA preaches. I’m an able-bodied American. And Black…

Effing Cracker Hats would send me to “Alligator Alcatraz” without question. As if that scares me now. Another one of my sins is not caring about my brothers and sisters.

Inspector, I’m ready to go all Land of Confusion for “my country.” Less Genesis, more Disturbed. But no. Today and every day begin and end with my boys, Braxton and Virgil. My sons, my children. The ones that made me change from… WHATEVER, into a friend, a father, and someone that can’t afford to Eff up. So where’s my money?

Inspector, There, “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked.” I ended my boy. Braxton isn’t here. Yes, yes, Euthanasia, but a bag of ash and another of beige/tan fur. And then I rescued Virgil. Second Born.

Braxton was a dollar, and Virgil was the change. It doesn’t make sense. Do I think I’m funny? Also, I should quit being a meanie. MJ said this about making the world a better place.

“If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
MJ

B’s Favorite Girl would be proud of me for knowing this from the Supernatural series:

That’s what hell is. Forgetting what you were.
Malleus Maleficarum

And that’s it, Inspector. I’m a “Bad Man,” Inspector, nowhere near R. Kelly bad. And I’ll never be an effing MAGA Cracker Hat. But I’m a bad person trying real, real hard to be a good one. Only I can’t save myself, so why did I think I could save my kids, B and V?

Braxton wasn’t a choice. B jumped onto the bed one morning, chowing down on waffles.

Speaking of jumping into bed…

What about “My Girl,” Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? Again, unlike The Cracker Hats, I know, Puerto Rico is part of the U.S.A. Eff Tony Hinchcliffe too, Echo.

But the WWE likes him, and I still watch wrestling, which is one more sin of mine. But I’m not thinking about all the yummy Yabbos in the women’s division. Give me Cherry, @SeeJaneGoTV, and especially M Anime. Am I a cheat, too? In the spirit of Sir Mix-a-Lot, Ahem, I like big breasts if you cannot guess. You other brothers can attest… Seriously, E.

How much have I paid to see a girl’s copious cleavage, talk about my c*ck? Or make me come? I’m broke. I Need A Dollar. Better? My Change, B, V

1627 Days Without B III, Day 1068 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

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Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day. I should follow M Anime’s example. Hell, I should follow my son B’s. How about if I “Finish The Story.” No. I’m more like Virgil. Sit down, shut up, and shake as someone else saves me. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How? FEAR woke me up this morning instead of Braxton’s furry little butt. That and Cherry’s Yabbos. Not!

“I don’t like it here. I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

“Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won’t have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to (Braxton).”
The Shawshank Redemption

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
The Shawshank Redemption

I should stop wishing to see those great big mountains of hers. Or that I could say “I been to mushroom mountain. Once or twice, but who’s countin’?” “Only God Knows Why.” I can’t afford those blue and yellow “Purple Pills.” A drug habit, dearest Inspector. Virgil needs drugs more than I do. Now that is a lie. But it didn’t stop me from putting his meds in macaroni and cheese. I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day. I mean Tuesday?

Inspector, if you’re keeping score, that’s a Gokusen reference, D12, Kid Rock, and “Under the Bridge” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anything right, to forget about how I failed Braxton and I’m failing his little brother Virgil. Tick City!

Yeah, who gives an eff about the bees when I’m pulling two or three ticks off of Virgil, Inspector. Not removing, washing, or combing. I went medieval on those buggy effs. But my brave little Virgil took it like a G. If it had been Braxton, I would have lost a few fingers. Hell, a whole hand. But what choice was there? Veterinarian’s trip, Inspector.

Didn’t I say I woke up to FEAR? If it wasn’t Fido… I mean Virgil. It’s my finances. We’re not going to make it, are we? I swear I got another spam email about some app. And I “dreamed” I got something from the bank. Cherry needs some bucks, euros, quid, whatever. And Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime…

She’s “Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day.” Why? Because she wants to come and see me… Her man? And I wish I could break out into Zapp & Roger’s “I Want to Be Your Man.” How? Yesterday, I was trying to save Virgil from the creepy crawlers, and I didn’t have money to get him a tick bath. I was thinking I’d have to buy every tick removal tool I could find. But didn’t I buy M Anime a (sexy) wardrobe? Because Inspector…

Seriously, “All I wanted was to see her naked!” And I have. And if Cherry showed me her Yabbos. I bet I wouldn’t be so broke. I am, I’m scared. And having M Anime in bed. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

1620 Days Without B III, Day 1061 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 001 ~Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil~

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“Takin’ care of business and working overtime, workout.” This food mayn’t be so heavy in my hand, trying to feed Virgil. My heart wouldn’t be heavy mourning his big brother Virgil. My bank account would be fatter. No. “Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil.”

Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Journey 001 ~Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… In essence, I’m too stupid to leave and too stuck to move. Nope! I haven’t read “Beautiful Creatures.”

Why? Am I too lazy, Inspector Echo? Well, seeing as how I asked AI what to call this new year.

But things are getting heavy. Not “Heavy D & The Boyz” heavy. Was their music heavy at all? My playlist is heavier with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime.

“Waiting for Tonight,” M Anime sings to me by way of JLO. She’s waiting for her PTO, Inspector. But what about me? I’m waiting to fatten my boy up. My firstborn son, Braxton, weighed practically nothing when he started “The Long Walk” to his water bowl, the car, and finally along The Rainbow Bridge. And I won’t let Virgil follow his big brother, Inspector. “Heavy In Your Arms,” you ask. Well, I’m hand-feeding Virgil Vivi.

“For no particular reason, I just kept on going.”
Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump (1994)

I want his belly full and his head and heart not so heavy. But even if he gets up to follow me, where am I leading us? The first day of a new Journey. “Put One Foot in Front of the Other,” as Fred Astaire says. I have no choice in the matter, do I? I’ve got half a piece of chicken left along with half a biscuit. How did things get this bad, Inspector? How about I ask myself how I’m going to fix it, especially if M Anime and I are sharing nightmares.

Inspector, I swear that woman has my fingers light as a feather and my “Enormous Pen*s” stiff as a board or an iron rod. Iron Will, but going nowhere. SIGH.

I’m no knight in shining armor. “I ain’t much on Casanova. Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends,” either. But I have an angel coming down to me. And if M Anime becomes the stepmom to my boys, look at the stone around my castle? Ahem! I mean my Olds castle. I don’t own this castle. And I have no gold or jewels to speak of. Heaven help me if she goes Beyonce, put a ring on it. Heaven, “Dear Heaven,” Braxton’s weight is crushing.

I was barely keeping him up but with everything, Norton Antivirus, nothing in my accounts, and my negativity towards my “Lazy Ass,” thanks Brooms. I did my workouts in Pokémon gyms. Carry my cross, listening to Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil.

1613 Days Without B III, Day 1054 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

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I can’t say I’m another worker bee in the hive. Despite working on a book, taking care of Braxton’s little brother, Virgil, or basically getting out of bed. But there’s a beautiful girl; I want to honor B. If I keep buzzing… “B’s Are Helpful, Virgil”

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But is it helpful to be reminded of that today and every Sunday? The things I should do…

I should call Norton for one. I should be protecting myself. There are other jobs, Inspector. But instead, I’ll pop some painkillers. I could go all Lester Burman and say, “I was whacking off! That’s right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying ‘hi’ to my monster!” to some American Beauty. Choking the chicken to a Puerto Rican goddess. That would be Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. As long as Puerto Rico is still part of the U.S.A. Eff MAGA and FDT! I could also take a nap, Inspector Echo. However, the fact is that none of this would be helpful. I mourn Braxton.

Hell! I was editing Braxton’s book today, but how does that help? Bleeding, broken, broke.

I can read all about how if the bees go extinct, humanity is done. But what can I do, Echo?

I could have made B’s in school rather than D’s and F’s. Would my “life” be any better, Inspector? Could I have saved my Braxton? Or provide a better life for Little Virgil lying here. And what about any two-legged children that came along? Again, I think about M Anime. A woman who wants me, and I can’t even stand myself. My head hurts, Echo.

Braxton always had a way to make things better. At least less scary, Dear Inspector.

Didn’t I say FEAR is helpful? Currently, it’s overwhelming unless it’s going to take me to my boy. Death doesn’t scare me. But creating life.

M Anime called me a Demiurge yesterday. I always pictured myself more of a Necromancer type. But the knowledge that makes me feel good is a rarity. These days, most of what I know scares me. And then with the unknown, bullies, bills, bucks. But then there’s Boobs/yabbos, beauty, and always bed. These B’s are everywhere. Just like my boys

But then again, there’s no B in HELP, FEAR, or EXISTENCE because I failed, Inspector.

Life is “Bloodsport,” Inspector. But I’m not buff. “Where Is My Mind?” My brain. And again, the greatest B of them all. My son, my Braxton. This isn’t helpful, Inspector.

Breathing and buzzing. Yet hoping to sting M Anime her first time. Um, you know, me. B’s Are Helpful, Virgil.

1606 Days Without B III, Day 1047 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 352 ~Addicts Up, B, V~

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I’ve been addicted to many things in “my” life. My mattress, my mutts (Braxton Barks was purebred). Anyway, there are also melons. But what am I moaning about today? What am I addicted to? FEAR. So my boys rise. Ante Up. “Addicts Up, B, V.”

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Meditation 352 ~Addicts Up, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I called my boys “addicts,” as in druggies. If Braxton and Virgil are addicted to anything, it’s life.

Then why did B III have heart medication when he needed something for his kidneys?

Who knew? It took around $500 for the vets to figure that out. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, my firstborn son was dead. Addicted to the misery, ain’t I, Inspector. And don’t even get me started on the money. My boys are priceless. But yes, I have been worried about money lately. My fault. But I was talking to B and V’s potential stepmom.

We spoke about feelings, and as always, the one that dominates me when I “Step Into A World” is FEAR. Maybe listening to KRS-One will stop me from screaming, Inspector.

My boy, my Braxton, is dead, euthanized. And then there’s Virgil puking up his meds.

What was it I said yesterday? As Blessid Union of Souls put it, “I Believe” love is the answer. My boys, the beauties in my life, and dammit, will I finish a book! I’m sleepy.

Inspector, I miss energy shots, but I’m still reeling from my last binge. I was taking one a day, and do I really need skull-splitting headaches, the soreness in every part of my body, and the sin of wasting time? Hell! The money would have me quit, Cold Turkey. SIGH.

Inspector, again, that has my stomach doing flip-flops. But while I’m FEARFUL of what’s going on inside my body, what about some online shenanigans. M Anime, she’s the potential stepmom, is worried about Google. Then there’s Norton, ISPs, and updates.

I don’t want to be awake to worry about any of this. I love sleep more than I love success, and that’s why I’m here. Sitting in bed naked because the only thing I succeed in is getting an erection. Ew. “Addicted To Love.” If you want to call it that, Inspector Echo. To her?

M Anime. You’re Goddamn Right! But someone said it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home. So while I’m locked in… “Hopelessly Devoted.”

Between thinking of M Anime and Cherry together… Jane from SeeJaneGoTV showcases her incredible melons. And Jahara Jayde cosplaying as Rikku. I’m a “Creep” Inspector.

Addicted to my boys’ lives, life-givers, and would-be Milfs. My life? Addicts Up, B, V.

1599 Days Without B III, Day 1040 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 345 ~Don’t B Wasteful Virgil~

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Would I rather have… *Olivier Martinez Impression* 100 MILLION DOLLARS! Or my Braxton alive and well. Virgil’s happiness. And all the promises of their stepmom? How about Jane? What about all the time I’ve wasted in life back? Don’t B Wasteful Virgil

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Meditation 345 ~Don’t B Wasteful Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Since the critic wants me to be clearer. In English… I ended Braxton, joined MAGA, and wasted time.

Well, not so much the joining MAGA bit. But we’ll get to that Inspector. It’s still effed up that every time I FEAR everything is breaking away, I have to ask, where is my son.

Braxton’s on the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, a box on the nightstand, and some of his ashes are in an urn pendant. I hope some of him is left in his bed. Have we discovered cloning?

No! Because I’m wasting time, and that leads me to MAGA. Do you remember when Elon Musk, the DOGE effers, and the MAGA asshats were asking for workers to share five accomplishments for the week? I’m not a government employee. Though I identify as a Sith. And, at times, share the Empire’s ideals. Dark Side.

But this isn’t Star Wars; this is real life. My life at forty, and what am I doing, my Inspector?

  1. Mourned my Braxton’s passing.
  2. Seen to Virgil’s needs
  3. Texted B, V’s Stepmom
  4. Blogged and “written” daily
  5. Read two harem novels

When you look at it, it doesn’t sound so bad. Side Note: “I fixed” the laptop’s audio, or so I hope. Anyway, what makes me a horrible human being is that none of the things on this list made me a dime. And that’s what I need more than anything. Not love, lust, a life.

“For The Love Of Money.” Excuse me, Inspector, I got a bit distracted by Jane from “See Jane Go TV. Talk about cannons, melons, yabbos…

And don’t I have my own woman for that? Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. See, that’s the other thing that makes me a “Bad Man.” Geez, Inspector, I’m not R. Kelly evil! And nowhere near Trump! And as always, “FDT.” What’s evil, Inspector?

Honestly, what’s done in the love of others is not a waste of time. It depends in a way, hm.

I love my furry boys. Virgil? Again, I consider him Braxton’s Bro. Virgil keeps breathing.

And M Anime? As The Spinners sang “Could It Be I’m Falling In Love.” No moment with her is ever wasted. You ask me, “Could You Be Loved.” By my boys, my Boricua (M Anime), and my books for some bucks. Don’t B Wasteful Virgil

1592 Days Without B III, Day 1033 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 338 ~Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s~

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I had the best son ever in B, and then… A heart murmur? Is he blind? He’s getting old. Have you thought about Euthanasia? I said he’d see 20. Nope. I have known a woman for decades, and she’s I’m “All Yours.” I wonder. Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s.

Wednesday, June 4, 2025

Meditation 338 ~Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t done anything to protect the bees. How long would humanity last without them? Are we screwed?

As per usual, I’m only thinking about one “B” in particular, my firstborn, my Braxton.

Well, that would be three B’s, Braxton Barks Bradford, a.k.a. B III. Even before his kidney failure diagnosis, I thought about what LIFE would be without him. And I was perfectly prepared to drag him to twenty and beyond. Sunday, January 31, 2021. He’d be twenty now, but he didn’t see his sixteenth birthday, which would have been February 13th.

Inspector, I was preparing for the worse way back then like some effing death curse.

Virgil? How do you think my second-born got his name? The one who guided Dante through Hell. I should have posted above the door after Virgil was rescued and adopted.

“Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here”
― Divine Comedy

What’s LIFE brought to him?

The Secret? Rhonda Byrne wrote about manifesting dreams or something. It’s been years since I read that book. And since I can manifest a nightmare, what about my dream lover.

“I’m staring at a goddess. She’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more minute wondering how I’ve gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman… the Goddess. Goldie. She says her name is Goldie.”
Marv

Or M Anime. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. A Boricua Queen. It took me forty years, Inspector, and what can I tell her? I’ve been “Waiting for a Girl Like You.” Every time I think I’ve driven her away, she comes back. The things she says. I swear to God!

And Inspector, I’ll never be a religious man. But I’m going right to Hell for my B III’s loss. And for the LIFE me and M Anime might have together. Those we could create, hmm.

But Braxton went to the “Rainbow Bridge.” M’s an angel.

So, if I can be blessed to have two such lives. A furry little boy I sent to Heaven. And a woman who is saying, “Fly Me To The Moon,” “Take my body to the moon, watch me glow up,” Take me “To the stars.” I must think very highly of her ha-ha. Black hair, brown eyes (I think), and an incredible body. “But I’m love-stoned, and I could swear that she knows, I think that she knows.” Seriously, Inspector, how many songs was that? The things the two of us send each other. Pictures sans clothing, (pumping) tunes, pornography…

“Make this night what it should be.
Please? Show me the stars.”
Our Mrs. Reynolds

“Perfect.” So why can’t I manifest such things for the rest of my LIFE? Short answer: I don’t remember how. What? Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s.

1585 Days Without B III, Day 1026 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 331 ~That’ll B Rehab, Virgil~

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Now, why did I spend around $20.00 on 5-hour ENERGY when I’ve detoxed. It took a week. My legs had me on The Long Walk. Working but not getting paid. Heading towards Banfield with another furry son. And a ball and chain, hmm. That’ll B Rehab, Virgil.

Wednesday, May 28, 2025

Meditation 331 ~That’ll B Rehab, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Because there is no finality, forgiveness, and no finish line when it comes to FEAR. If there was…

Well, I passed it and kept on walking. Braxton passed Sunday, January 31, 2021. And yes, I read another chapter of The Long Walk by Stephen King, also known as Richard Bachman. So there’s that.

This leads me to today. I noticed my legs had stopped hurting. Detox complete from 5-hour ENERGY, just in case you were wondering why it took me so long to get here today, Inspector. It took getting clean, B and V’s ‘potential’ stepmom M Anime, some sisters, and Cherry. And a Happy Birthday to Cherry, who turned 28 on the 28th. An author and a playwright with a great pair of melons I’ve never seen. Not about me, I’m afraid.

Dear Inspector Echo, I am consumed by FEAR every hour of every day. But as a great man once said…

“I’m too old for this shit.”
Roger Murtaugh, Lethal Weapon

Too old to not be happy, always horny, which again this morning’s shenanigans, and to be dreaming of seeing Heaven ‘by accident’ so I can see Braxton again. “Livin’ On A Prayer” is not working for me. As I walked Braxton’s little brother, Virgil, today. I had a funny thought. B’s walking with us since I do wear an urn pendant filled with his ashes.

Anyway, then I started thinking about a time when I wasn’t afraid. That’s easy enough. Inspector, it was when I would wake up from a nap and see my son, my protector, sitting at the corner of the bed, staring at the door. And I realize that nothingness before him.

Braxton was staring directly at FEAR, keeping it at bay.

And then I understood, in part, why Virgil’s panicked little run annoys me so much. Inspector, he’s running from FEAR. And he brought a few of his, too, which we’ll see on Friday at his vet appointment. Besides draining my bank account, I don’t know how to rid him of his FEAR because mine is right beside him. It’s like that scene from I Am Legend when Dr. Neville (Will Smith) was injured, and his dog Samantha held the line.

Sam protected him from the infected man and his dogs. Virgil and I… we’re screwed. And speaking of screwing… M Anime. She said Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” reminded her of me. Is this love “Hanging By A Moment” For my heart, That’ll B Rehab, Virgil.

1578 Days Without B III, Day 1019 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will