Tag: The Cherry Collision

Saga 234 ~ Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go~

WillLeave a comment

My father made me ashamed to breathe. And when my furry son died. To breathe when I watched him take his last breath… There’s plenty I should be ashamed of and things that never bother me. But I ain’t going nowhere. Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go.

Monday, February 20, 2023

Saga 234 ~ Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go~

Two-Hundred and Eightieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. But most seem stuck in the past or are living in some form of “1984.” A shame

As for myself, the past is that my son is dead. Only every day feels the same. Madam, I still check notices of lost dogs. I can’t get Virgil’s name right for anything. B’s where? Looking at me from up above? His Daddy suffering yet again from The Cherry Collision. Or so I think. I’m time-traveling, so it’s Saturday, February 18, 2023. And I don’t feel right at all. I should have caved. But now I’ll be out a few hundred bucks. Refund incoming? As far as the future goes… shouldn’t I be, at the very least, training Virgil? I am trying, Madam, honest. Outside, house, upstairs, using Virgil’s name for each command. Laws? There are rules, directives, and orders. But such a shame Madam.

This is one of those times that the shame of my history should have stopped me. Not learning from the past and all that jazz. No, I chose to be a Republican. So, an asshole. Though as the song goes to “Nobody but Me.” Aren’t I ashamed, Madam? Pissed, Scared? All the above. How the Hell am I ever going to explain, huh? Is losing cash worse than this feeling? What about going into Express Oil and trying to explain a fucked up tire, ha? But neither of those equals going to PetSmart with Braxton thinking he’s only sick, right? No, he was dying. The shame I felt only adds to the guilt. But then there’s V here and now. Shame Virgil Vivi got me.

But my shame at fucking up as a Daddy didn’t stop me from what? Saving him, did I do that? Fuck! The last thing I need is a reminder of Steve Urkel. If you’re wondering what’s been taking me so long today. My body? I’m ashamed of what’s going on inside, but outside? With The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident and the Collision, uh been busy. Pictures? And no, not any of my Braxton, mind you. Six Impossible Things shows that shame, as it will tomorrow. But the rule and the question remain. What is shame stopping me from doing, Madam? Honoring my son, of course. Taking care of myself. Infections… Living instead of existing? Because where am I going anyway? Shame’s A Stop Sign, Go.

750 Days Without B III, Day 191 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I let Virgil out when it’s time for B’s morning meds. Braxton’s evening meds, again V’s out. Can’t have him hear me call out for B III. And there’s alone time. Not crying or comatose. Releasing insanity in two ways. One, Medicine Time B… Virgil.

Sunday, February 19, 2023

Saga 233 ~Medicine Time B… Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I know you’re saying… “You moron! What were you thinking?! Do you realize what this means?!”

As if you have time for some “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.” Better days. A few years before Braxton even? Only in about 45 minutes. You’ll have to untwist your legs and go get his meds. Too Little, Too Late, right? Meds for the dead? But Virgil can go out. Which again reminds me that this is all my fault. And you have to deal with All I’ve Done, hmm? You were supposed to go out today to pay for my mistakes. Last night before I fell asleep, watching WWE Elimination Chamber. I looked up Urgent Care, GoodRx, and CVS. Looking over at the table opposite B’s Memorial, it’s a fucking crime scene. Another one. Energy drinks, an empty medicine bottle… Oh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 3 by Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 044 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 051 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Let’s talk about #4, which is why you’re in this mess. I want to be all Bill Withers “I know, I know, I know….” Again, I’m the one to blame. And all the I’m Sorry’s in the world aren’t going to put cash in your wallet. Every day you turn more into your father. Dammit! History repeats itself. So if you’re not your father, you’re a fucking Republican. So gross. So there’s Tuesday, January 11, 2022, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. “Hey I oughta leave young thing alone.” Fucking Bill Withers, man. More like a 21-year-old actress. A 20-year-old video game vixen. And a 25-year-old poet. And that’s on top of everything on Twitter. So, Six Impossible Things

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING NSFW: A Novel by Isabel Kaplan
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 051 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You don’t seem to have the time. Because you’ll be way too busy or have forgotten. I have no advice this week and hope… “Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” Therapy, Counseling, Institutions? Forget it. That’s what I wish for. Every day you’ll wish for Braxton to come running down the stairs when you call. “Medicine time, B; come get your medicine.” As mean as you are to Virgil, him sleeping by your side every night… You’ll wish he never needs meds. Fuck! I wish I’d come on the 15th, so The Cherry Collision never happened. To Forget. That’s the gift. No doctors, no pain, especially no stupidity. Nope! Medicine Time B… Virgil

749 Days Without B III, Day 190 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 231 ~B, The Story, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Last week, I was writing about the need to go shopping. But, Ah shit, here we go again. I did finish reading a bit. One thing off the to-do list. How about getting to know V? If he’d been earlier. I’m too busy making myself sick. B, The Story, Virgil

Friday, February 17, 2023

Saga 231 ~B, The Story, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I wouldn’t invest in FOX News, OAN, NEWSMAX, etc. No, I believe in the truth.

I would say I write the truth. For example, what I live with every day. My son B is dead. Try waking up to that. I don’t remember the last day I wanted to wake up to. I was on time today for the most part, but I had a reason. Oh, Lady Sophia, I fucked up. But we’ll get to that in a bit. And do you know why? I’m trying to hold off being a meanie. His name is Virgil. In a minute, I’m going to sound like one of those men from Fight Club, ha-ha. His name is Virgil Vivi, you know. Begins chanting, “his name is Robert Paulson.” Virgil’s here; God, don’t have me writing again… He’s not eating or drinking.

V is very much alive. And he wants to stay here with me. So you know what that means. No edging or masturbation. Hell! Why couldn’t Virgil get here sooner? I got to ask Sophia. I always talk about The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident of January 11, 2022. How about The Cherry Collision on February 16, 2023? I can’t say that anything is wrong yet. Lady Sophia, I could hardly walk when the Incident occurred. But the Collision ain’t right. Next thing you know, I’ll be reading another doctor’s bill and the medication… $100 ha. Trying to make myself the story instead of Virgil. I keep wanting to say something. Freeloader, Fiend, Fido? My Braxton is my guardian, my goodness, dammit, the word of God.

My Fighter, my friend, and always and forever. I have books that say that, but no. What am I doing? As I’ve said, I don’t have cash for anything. And yet, more books, more books. And what’s sad is I’m reading books I am not interested in; in a place that isn’t the loveseat in the den. With a fur baby, I keep asking… why are you here? Asshole? Probably. I’ve already mentioned Fight Club, and The Day After Tomorrow, so how about M3gan? I feel like Gemma with her niece. With me and V, I’m not his Dad. Then what am I then? Virgil Vivi and my story… I don’t know. Besides worrying, I started reading for Kindle Challenge (sigh). B, The Story, Virgil

747 Days Without B III, Day 188 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will