Life’s a game for everyone. Life’s a game, but it’s not fair. If I had my way, I would quit right now. But who would remember my son, my Braxton? I haven’t published his book yet. And my boy Virgil is still here. But… To B Fair Virgil.
Sunday, February 2, 2025
Meditation 216 ~To B Fair Virgil~
To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I know it’s not fair. You’re still breathing. Braxton’s Aunt Augusta confirmed that the other day.
At forty, you find yourself navigating life as an African-American, an atheist and often feeling alone. You know Virgil is here, but you also understand that it’s not the same.
Always and forever, remember that. I’m sure Braxton does. And what did that get him? Dead. And a father with an unhealthy obsession with death. Please! You were way into the dead, darkness, and dystopias before, during, and after Braxton. But without him here… Oh, what a world, what a world. “What a world, what a life, I’m in love…”
However, it’s with the prospect of leaving. It would only be fair with what you did to Braxton. Ending him. But it’s also important to forgive ourselves. How’s that going? With everything that connects us, this is the universal truth. Braxton is gone because you failed him. He met with the fire on Thursday, February 4, 2021. Six Impossible Things:
- I WILL BE VIEWING Surviving Pet Death, Gracie Wyatt
Completed - I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
Failed - I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
Failed - I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 014 No Fap) - I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
Failed - I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
Failed
Hell! You should have put saving your son’s life. At least then, all of these failures would be fair. Or giving Virgil a better life. For 904 Days, life still hasn’t been fair to him.
Life hasn’t been fair to you since E-Day forty years ago. But you can say it’s been unfair for 1463 Days. You lost your player two, the samples, Triforce, and you ran out of time on the mission. Gaming? Well, between moving everything back upstairs and the phone. But Prince said, “We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” B did.
Still, today, after a text from your father… That’s all it took to fail Number Six: “I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am.” What about the other Six Impossible Things:
- I WILL BE VIEWING ― Satan’s Sorority Girls 8
- I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
- I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
- I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
- I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
- I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
You don’t want to play this game anymore. GOD, how I know! I faced Braxton’s Euthanasia once again. And its aftermath. You know that Braxton’s cremation was on the 4th. And next week… The 10th is Braxton’s return. His ashes are in a box on the nightstand. The 13th is Braxton’s birthday. These dates, each one a painful reminder of loss. The 14th, that’s V-Day.
And no, not for Virgil. Will you talk M Anime into being your Valentine? A beautiful Puerto Rican woman who goes between calling you her bro AHEM step-bro. And then offering herself. Life, Existence… Seriously?
Existence is efffing wrong. Or as 50 Cent said, “Death gotta be easy ’cause life is hard.” If that ain’t the truth. And it’s easier to tell the truth to prosti… than a psychiatrist, right.
It’s why you write to harem girls, yourself, and Braxton. Or he speaks through you. Sigh. To B Fair Virgil.
1463 Days Without B III, Day 904 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will