Years ago, when the shed wasn’t under siege, when the backyard fence wasn’t broken, when I wasn’t scanning the kitchen counter or floors, etc. B was on his pillow while I wrote. Let me out, let me in. Now I’m trapped. “Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside”
Wednesday, September 30, 2026
Legacy 091 -Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside-
Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What, by living? Don’t get me wrong, forty-two years is way too much for my liking. Buying books?
One of the many ways I fucked up yesterday. And there were indeed several, Inspector.
Enough to make me want to lose “My Boys.” When we get into it, you’ll see how STUPID I’ve been. But Inside/Outside is a… Let’s say it’s a silly game at least for Braxton Barks.
I swear my firstborn went everywhere. Is it ironic to call him both a free spirit and alive, Inspector? What is ironic is his brother, Virgil Vivi. He’s like a ghost. And I wish I were talking about the Good Boy from Game of Thrones. Is Virgil Ride or Die? Hell, that’s what I get for naming him after Dante’s hellish guide. He is a ghost, like a pillar of salt, a scoop of vanilla.
“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000
It’s like he melts away into the floor or wherever I place him. Braxton and his potential future stepmom, and I talk a lot about having two-leggeds. Sometimes it’s like Virgil forgets he has four legs. Somebody at the Day Job said they’ve seen us walking. So good, I’m not imagining Virgil is here. But he’d rather not be here in this house. Myself, Echo.
I would make my absence permanent. But I’m a father of two. Not one, Inspector!
Seriously, you remember The Running Man (2025)? “Richard Lives!” Inspector, always and forever, Braxton Lives! My brave boy. I envy him. And not only the whole shuffling off the mortal coil part. I wish I were so brave as to have his fierceness. Nope Inspector.
“I don’t want to be just one thing. I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.”
Four ― Divergent
Today, “I feel STUPID!” And we could go on and on in this Mad Season with all that happened at the Day Job. So fucking idiotic that I needed a second to forget. Day One…
I didn’t jerk off yesterday; too much was happening. I didn’t confide in M Anime…
Plenty of things I want inside her. Okay, I’ll stop, or rather begin. Inspector, honestly…
So yesterday ants retook the counter and the doorway. I was mixing up ant killer from the bathroom because you remember what happened last time with all the bug spray…
While fighting that battle, the guest bathroom went cattywampus. Then Amazon was taking my Kindle points, so I bought four books. Outside confidence. Inside blatant STUPIDITY. Braxton Outside, Virgil Inside
2068 Days Without B III, Day 1509 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will
