Tag: Art

Saga 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, They Nose~

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Braxton knew that something wasn’t right with him. Virgil knows something isn’t right with me. When I get his name wrong. Or I don’t actively seek him out, and he’s in Braxton’s room alone. And I need to be alone most days. Braxton, Virgil, They Nose

Saturday, February 4, 2023

Saga 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, They Nose~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I doubt it’s because I’m doing anything creative. And the ordinary… the Day Job, eww…

Or maybe that’s just me. I’m still feeling and smelling all types of gross. It could be all the money burning in my pocket. And I haven’t picked up any new deodorant yet, Lady Lu. It’s sort of hard when you’re starving. I shouldn’t say hard or starving, considering (sigh). We’ll get to the hard part later. For now, I’m trying to forget last week, to be honest. Well, not my son. Never my Braxton. I can’t say I’ve been that nice to Virgil these days, to be fair. Lunalesca, I’m not a monster. At least not to fur babies. People? They know. What? That I’m a stinker? I must be musty. Yuck! I swear I’m not mistaking you for Inspector Echo, Lady Lunalesca. Fuck!

Speaking of which, that’s all I’ve been thinking about these days. My Braxton, my stink. And then, as the song goes, “I smell sex and candy.” It’s been thirty-five days, Lunalesca. Twitter has been killing me, making me feel like a kid again. You know, when I first discovered Hentai. I haven’t been able to get anything else done. Downloading porn. Didn’t I say that you aren’t Inspector Echo? Yet I keep confessing to everything today. Not the worse of it, thank B III. The only little god I’ll bother listening to. Yet again, that could be the fasting. I am sucking down energy drinks and sour jelly beans, Luna. Not that I want to be awake, but then… Vengeance Day, Knock At The Cabin

I should have my nose in a book. How about in some prescriptions from doctors? Lunalesca, figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Is it these energy supplements? Degree Deodorant? Didn’t I blame them yesterday? And again, I went out and got what? Always food. And I want to see a Knock At The Cabin after reading the book about it. Is it the fact that people are scaring me so much more these days? I promise not to get all political. This is more personal. You know how I feel about people. Including myself, Lu? One more reason I miss Triple B. And have been somewhat annoyed with Little V. Leaving me to myself… “Cool Devices,” you know. Braxton, Virgil, They Nose

734 Days Without B III, Day 175 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 213 ~Hard Enough, Hearts Have Cages~

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Life is hard. Don’t recommend. I died between seven and twenty-one. Then came Braxton. And for fifteen years, it was “stay alive.” Then I was free to die. Hell! If I wanted that, why not skip this funeral. But tomorrow… Hard Enough, Hearts Have Cages

Monday, January 30, 2023

Saga 213 ~Hard Enough, Hearts Have Cages~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… So what do you want to buy, you ask? A box? House, coffin, a place for Braxton?

My head hurts. I wish I could say it’s for Braxton. It should all be for B right this second. No such luck. I should be at the Day Job crying my eyes out to see my son die, Madam. But beside me sits a piece of black plastic and metal. I’m waiting to hear it ring about me “skipping” the Day Job today. To think I’d crave that place. “I don’t want to work….” Only I don’t want to go to my granddaddy’s funeral either. A man in a box… And honest to “God,” Madam. The only reason I’m going is that I don’t want to join in death… Fucking conflicted. Last night all I could think about was, “Free Your Mind.” “Bang, Bang”

In more ways than one, Madam. For now, let us focus instead on the boom, boom of a heart. But it should be my B’s heart. I look to my other side and see the box I put him in. Hell! I even moved Virgil out of the way. He’s sitting in Braxton’s room right now. If only he were Braxton, and that’s mean, I know. Again it was only last night Virgil crept out. Walking into the den, Virgil jumped up, wanting to cuddle. Did Virgil hear this heart? Broken? I keep saying that, but I can feel it pounding, and it will only get worse as the day goes on. There is no escape Madam. All last night I prayed for my death.

That’s something I’ll own. Or the “Bang, Bang” in my shorts. Fucking up this morning. Only it could be the guilt, fear, or anxiousness which also comes with masturbation. Yuck! Talk about something that should be kept surrounded by bones. Don’t you think so too? Skin and bones. Which appears even more likely when I see what I was getting back on the tax return. I won’t be boning anytime soon… that is if I paid for it. Working hard. Madam Justice, I wish I was today. It’s going to be a long day. But what about tomorrow, hmm? I put a better man in a box; my son Braxton. I can do without my head. My heart’s for Braxton. Hard Enough, Hearts Have Cages.

Chronicle 213 ~I’ll “B” Seeing You~
Gospel 213 ~Will “B” Seeing You~

729 Days Without B III, Day 170 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~

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Calling it life is BS. No! I exist. If I had my way, I’d want to do that as far away from people as possible. Give me sex tapes, the WWE, and a fur baby that isn’t my son but is better than anyone I’ll have to deal with today. Avoiding BS… B, V.

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m full of fear. I swear people with money are the biggest snowflakes, Lunalesca.

Then again, I don’t have a dime, and I’m scared out of my mind this morning. Virgil is too, Lu. But before I talk about him, there’s B III? Oh, how about my granddaddy, Lunalesca? Today as with every other, my son comes first. Braxton should have always and forever. Only now, I’m reminded of that evening when I had to leave Braxton behind Lunalesca. My “father” thinks I was bullshitting. But right now, there aren’t cops to come busting down the door. I wasn’t eating when grandma died, and I’m not eating dinner, Lunalesca. All I want to do now is be with my boy. That’s how much I hate being with people now. I would rather die instead of dealing. People are bullshit.

Then again, I am very much the same. I’m only human. When I’m working with everything Virgil has going on. If I’m going out today, I should check all his paperwork. Did I say that? This weekend, the last time I need to do is sign anything Lunalesca. Crying now. But it isn’t about Braxton; Virgil is alive and well. And there’s granddaddy… please, Lu. That was harsh. Hell! You want to see harsh. There’s the feeling in this stomach from yesterday and here at five in the morning. Lunalesca, I was up on time. There’s fear of everything I have to do today. I didn’t have the balls to call the Day Job yesterday. There are clothes, a haircut, and the viewing. Everything else

Death isn’t bullshit. As much as I wish it were. Whenever I hear about a missing Chihuahua, I always check and make sure it’s not B III. Talk about denial Lu. He’s sitting here. 727 days in a box? No! That would be bullshit now, wouldn’t it? But I’d trade him right now, Lu. I could refuse to go to my granddaddy’s funeral as I did to grandma’s. I wish. Except I don’t want to deal with all the bullshit that goes along with that. What would my Olds do? It’s why I slugged an energy drink, and I’m pressing on now. I hate this. Braxton was so much stronger than me. Fifteen years of my bullshit. Living, existing, such bullshit. Avoiding BS… B, V.

727 Days Without B III, Day 168 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 206 ~I Don’t Know Isn’t Stupidity~

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I ask authors, “things.” Or at least I read their books. The last one I talked to, I asked to see her yabbos. As far as asking anyone else anything… There’s B, but he never had answers. Comfort was enough. But speaking? “I Don’t Know Isn’t Stupidity”

Monday, January 23, 2023

Saga 206 ~I Don’t Know Isn’t Stupidity~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means stupidity, lies, and damn “white supremacy” (in some cases). It’s damn near a language, Madam.

But as the song goes, “first let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And while I could go all into racism as people like Ron DeSantis will keep it prevalent. Fuck you, DeSantis! Madam, for now, let’s focus on me. Oh, what? Not on my dead kid? Every day we take a step closer to Braxton’s second anniversary. That’s the wrong word, isn’t it, Madam? His Memorial Day? Aren’t I full of questions today? Now that I’m awake… in a better state of mind. But we’ll get to that in a bit. First, there’s B III. If only he were still alive. Madam, I don’t know how I’m going to do this. Pretty ironic, huh? The one I turned to never had answers.

Again, at least Braxton was/is real. And I would have never given in this morning. Madam, you can relax. As I said, I’m up now. Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed. Hairy butt? Virgil ticked me off last night. He’s becoming a brat with his outside time. Time-out? Last night he had to stay in Braxton’s room. So I didn’t bother thinking about behavior. Madam, I had mine to consider. My “Obsession” to go with another song. Fucking fuck. In case you were wondering where I was from, four in the morning, a half-hour. Cumming? I’m thankful that I didn’t. But there was Twitter, Tifa Lockhart’s tits, thumping over an English beauty, etc. How will I ever get over this? Boards don’t hit back. And some Triple D Yabbos?

It was either those or falling back asleep. The Million-dollar question. How do I exist? Every morning when I wake up… that’s Sugar Ray, by the way. Anyway, I look at the time. I was up at four again and settled down by 4:30. By five, I had an energy drink and had been watching The Last of Us reactions. On and off besides talking to you. And still, I wonder. Why don’t I have a billion dollars yet? You saw what it took to do banking and shopping. This week won’t be good, but with 100% truth, next week will be the worse since Sunday, January 31, 2021. Then 2022. Now a bratty friend in 2023. With no one to ask, I remain stupid. I Don’t Know Isn’t Stupidity

722 Days Without B III, Day 163 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~

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I don’t say I live… I exist. Nothing’s mine, and what was or is my son, the Indifference that killed him, owning it. What about V? I spend days pushing him to go up the stairs, to the door, etc. Being a “Dad,” dog training. Spelling Virgil Without B.

Saturday, January 21, 2023

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I didn’t have to be the most intelligent man on the planet to accomplish this.

Being full of hate, joining a cult, and having no morals would get the job done. Which, of course, doesn’t explain why I’m sitting here at nine in the morning in bed. Or 99.9% of the GOP/GQP who would instead stay poor and racist above all else, Lady Lunalesca. Though if I could have my B III back, I wouldn’t need a billion. Did I say that out loud? Again if you’re wondering why I’m speaking to you so late, Lady Lunalesca… I couldn’t give up porn. Oh, I’m still dry, but it’s getting crazy. I heard anger is more useful than despair. So I suppose horny at least gets you up, or something up. Can I say I’m still in the Depression stage, Lunalesca?

Because it will never be Acceptance. Speaking of 99.9%, I’m sure that Virgil ain’t Braxton. It could be because it’s January. But yes, I have been tougher on Virgil these days. There’s some version of dog training afoot. Virgil has no courage. How about practicing what I preach, Lady Luna? Putting one foot in front of the other? Nope! He does what he has to. After that, he returns to his bed/pillow and stays there scared indefinitely. Giving him attention? Is that the lesson I should be learning? Fighting Indifference? I keep saying it, Lunalesca. It was Indifference that killed Braxton. I don’t own much, but my Braxton and Indifference led to my becoming a murderer. And now, nothing in the world makes any sense.

Or it’s only me. And you wonder why I don’t want to get up off my ass, to go shopping. Hell! I was up on time and immediately said twenty more minutes. Bullshit spam text. Yeah, that’s another twenty minutes. I realized nothing was plugged in. I’ll wait till five. I didn’t want to start complaining to you. So I clear most of my emails until six. Two more hours looking at porn until, thankfully, eight. Braxton’s official medicine time, and Virgil goes outside. He’s been in his room since six. Virgil’s outside, cappuccino, breakfast? From eight-thirty to nine, more porn. That’s been today like the song goes, Mad World. Or sad, lazy, fucked up. Existing over life. Hate vs. Indifference. Spelling Virgil Without B

720 Days Without B III, Day 161 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 199 ~Find Pains Greater Than Fear~

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Braxton is the word of God. As Christians say, God is Love. God to Dog. Easy mistake. Now FEAR and PAIN… I’ve claimed fear’s a great pain, next to losing B, the greatest. There’s Blue Balls, my “father, stupidity, and the GOP. Find Pains Greater Than Fear

Monday, January 16, 2023

Saga 199 ~Find Pains Greater Than Fear~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I shouldn’t fear a damn thing. Honestly, there’s always… well, don’t need the cops knocking.

I don’t fear death. I wonder if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. did. His birthday was yesterday and today’s his day… Hell! I wish I could say I looked into him first thing. Nope! Braxton. After that came porn. Then there was The Last of Us. Finally, Dr. King. He had much to fear. Fear is a great pain; I’m sorry, Grammarly and Hemmingway, for my lack of IQ. STUPIDITY! Next to the pain of my son’s passing/murder… Being Stupid is What Hurts The Most. It’s what leads me to read every single day. Or why I feel so “proud” watching The Last of Us and being all, “I understood that reference.” But nearly every waking moment Madam like the song goes, “I feel stupid!”

And to avoid it, I sleep only to feel worse after, for having to face the day. The time wasted. If you asked me what I wanted to do today, well, besides everything I’ve done since four in the morning. Well, starting with this conversation that we’re having. Fearing existence. There’s wanting to organize everything that’s piling up that I never get done. Lazy Ass! There’s also a book review I want to do… Things that keep me up, Madam. My Braxton, worrying things are breaking down. And some girls’ boobs. If only every book were written by a girl with a set of melons I’ve “almost” seen. But I won’t. But I’m not sleeping.

It’s a pain. But, yes, a fear as well, right?

Blue Balls keep me awake as well. I keep thinking, any minute now. I’m going to explode all over the place. If you saw what broke me from a 161-day streak mourning my B III.

A greater pain is what is about to happen a little less than an hour from now. I swear, dealing with people. At least this time, it isn’t my fault Madam. The pain my father brings. Isn’t it ironic? He is the one that not only brings pain but the very spirit of fear. But B? Braxton made me braver than I could ever know. But a pain far worse than my father could dare to dream. Then again, being brought to this existence? Fear? Find Pains Greater Than Fear.

715 Days Without B III, Day 156 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

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I haven’t had time to talk to 2V about stuff. Well, cheering when 2V runs up the stairs. But there is one talk we won’t need to have. One because he’s not Braxton, aka my son. Meanie! And two talk about not having the balls… “Virgil’s, Birds and B’s”

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even if I wasn’t, if Virgil Vivi needed something, um… health-wise. I like to think…

Well, actually, I don’t… like to think. One more reason I would become a Republican. Unfortunately, Lady Lunalesca, I have a brain. I know because my Mind Playing Tricks On Me. I know B III is still gone, and yet… I know. I continue to believe He Lives In You. Yes, it’s always the music. If anything, be grateful. I’m up around noon. That’s how bad this week was. Or was it I’m weak, period? Tell that to my Day Job and all the nightmares. This is one more reason I’m speaking to you so late. Yet again, I could be a lazy ass (sigh). But this brain never lets me forget. It was Times Like These that killed my son. I killed my son.

And now I see a pillow where his bed once was. But V said he wanted up in bed instead. Hell! At least he knows what it’s good for. Oh, do I need to spend more time jerking off? I have kept my word thus far, Lunalesca. No “releasing” during B III’s month, right? Lunalesca, there’s also the new toy I want to buy, but of course, the car, the community, and the coming days. Which should be spent on my son. I do mean Braxton and not Virgil, Lu. I’m being a meanie. Braxton has balls, and Virgil doesn’t. I keep comparing the two. Lunalesca, you know what I mean. I had to give Braxton the talk about the birds and the bees. Virgil…

You ask me why I’m so tired. I’m trying to train Virgil. Not like B III and I did that. Inevitably it was all about “B, can you not paw away at Carolina Bound’s cleavage?” There was, “Hey B, can you stop humping your toy in front of her, please?” Well, she’s seen worse. Remember that video I showed Carolina? Talk about trust in humanity. These days the last thing we need is more people. But I wish I could have a puppy from Braxton’s bloodline. I read about a family that got a fur baby from the same line as their lost one. And reading Cherry’s book and a review. What You Won’t Do for Love… No! But ta-tas. Hopeless. Virgil’s, Birds and B’s

713 Days Without B III, Day 154 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 192 ~Sleep, Is The New Broke~

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How do I fix my wallet, want to be awake, and make myself worthwhile to my son? Work? Well, not my Day Job. But to write? Only I spend all my time sleeping, so the bed must be broken. How’s this for motivation? “Sleep Is The New Broke”

Monday, January 9, 2023

Saga 192 ~Sleep, Is The New Broke~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… and the first thing I’ll buy… if they can’t bring Braxton back from the ashes. A bed.

I know exactly where I got this rule from. It’s from one of Eric Thomas’s motivational speeches. And that’s what I should be talking about, but Wednesday, January 4, 2023. Madam, I can’t get the humiliation off my mind. Talk about having a big head. We’ll get to that, but you know what I mean today, Thursday, January 5, 2023. I didn’t want to wake up. I stay woke, but that’s because I feel such hatred, I’m horny, and he’s by my side, Little V. It’s hard to do anything STUPID when you have a fur baby. But dying, Madam? Yeah, the feelings aren’t going away. If I don’t die in this bed… It will break underneath me sometime soon. The way I’ve been sleeping.

Only sleeping? Don’t get your hopes up, Madam. The only play being done in this bed is Virgil running around. There are also several games not “Pictures on My Phone.” Wheeler Walker Jr, thank you very much. I got to talk to M Anime, and then there’s Cherry’s new book. Think of all the books I read if they were physical and not Kindle. There’s also the fact that I have all these conversations in the center of the bed. And when I’m done, it’s right back to sleep, despite how I say I’m getting things done. 4:00 AM, earlier? Then there’s the screaming, crying, and smashing my head against a pillow. No wonder Virgil tries to take it from me. Fur babies, boobies, balls.

Well, I only got two of those. And I do mean balls. I’m still not sure about V and boobies. I’ve mentioned how horny I’ve been, which again brings to mind chatting up the ladies. Now I won’t be breaking the bed anytime soon, bouncing. But I may be breaking my wallet at some point. And with how I’ve been behaving at the Day Job, cutting out early this week. I mean 5th and the 3rd. What? I don’t want the money. It’s Humiliations Galore. I can’t take it, Madam. But if I could stay awake? Hell! I planned on seeing M3GAN this week, and then there’s The Last of Us. I’m broke in more ways than one, Madam. But Sleep Is The New Broke

708 Days Without B III, Day 149 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

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I’m no knight in shining armor. My mettle hasn’t been tested in comparison to others. The house is covered in the fur of both the quick and the dead. Then there’s the hoody I wear every day. Because I always look chill… Virgin’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means Braxton’s still alive. Don’t I wish? More for him than the money Lady Lunalesca.

I swear I would have gone full Repo Men on his ass. A suit of armor, new organs, and a cache of weapons to protect him. If you’re asking what’s this about, I watched “M3GAN.” Is it just me, or have the last couple of movies I’ve seen brought me to tears at some point? “M3GAN,” “Avatar: The Way of Water,” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever?” “The Menu” only made me hungry. This brings me to my point. How does one buy food? Um, money Lu. STUPID question, I know. But short of my son, as the song goes, “Dollar dollar bill, y’all” has been on my mind. And what about Virgil and me? It’s getting pretty cold out. And if I thought summer was Hell…

At least Virgil’s fur coat will serve him well. But a friend says he needs a coat too. What about his own bed, bowl, and biscuit treats? Oh, he’s not eating any from B’s memorial. But it didn’t stop me from buying the same type Triple B would snack on. And this month is supposed to be about B III, shouldn’t it? How to honor his second year Lu. My power, protector, and pain. Hell! I haven’t asked for any time off yet, Lady Lunalesca. I remember the year before. I had a will of steel and an iron will when honoring my Little B. Now the only heavy metal I’m carrying… Where do you think I’ve been all morning? Lady Lunalesca, beginning like this?

A brand new year. And all I want to do is be as warm as V. All cozy in bed, not doing jack shit. But, um, jacking. You know what I want to say, but that’s for Inspector Echo, okay? Again there’s the money problem. Besides everything to continue Virgil’s and I’s existence… Braxton deserves something set in stone. A statue, ink across my flesh. And there’s been those SILVERCUT necklaces I’ve been eyeing forever. Well, two years for B. And finally, there’s my courage. I’ve failed my son and New Year’s Resolutions, oh no. That’s my existence. One big, OH NO. And to drag another fur baby into this mess after what happened to the last one. My idiocy’s spreading. Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

706 Days Without B III, Day 147 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 185 ~Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness~

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The second day of the new year, and am I comfortable yet? I wish I could have that day when I scooped B up, told him to shush, and fell asleep. He was dying, and I wasn’t being polite… ignoring him. Such a lesson. Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness.

Monday, January 2, 2023

Saga 185 ~Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means a lot more comfort and surely much less politeness. That might make a good resolution.

I’m speaking to you from a year ago, Madam. Saturday, December 31, 2022, being precise. And much like right this moment, as the song goes, “there is no love here, and there is no pain.” The Day Job? The indifference that led to the death of my son. One thing remains. But this week Madam. Hell! Today, yesterday, the day before? Whatever song gets picked. I’ve gone from “He’s My Son” to “Am I A Psycho.” There’s “The Way,” “Every Day Is Exactly The Same,” and “Enormous Penis.” Um, ok, that would be… uh, uncomfortable. First off, my continuing to exist makes me pretty damn uncomfortable. A terrible sign for the beginning of the year. Only what, Madam, “Put On A Happy Face.” My resolution?

It begins with the truth. The Man in the Mirror is never comfortable. Unless he and I agree… “we pretend that we’re dead.” I only took a short nap today and spoke to Lunalesca and Braxton. Anyway, back to my resolution. It’s not “I’m Here”; it’s “I’m waiting to see who will piss me off.” That’s my new phrase for the Day Job. Politeness? Again that quickly fell to indifference which killed my kid. Then there’s Virgil (sigh). But the thing is, B III is still here. And while I can’t say I’ll speak comforting memories, I’ll speak “B.” And while there is no way I’ll keep this promise as long as I’m talking. I’ll be “me” like I was with him. Always and forever…

Well, minus the porn, as you can see. Bible Black? I can do so much worse, Madam. Today I unsubscribed from a girl on OnlyFans for… fart jokes, eww. But I hope I haven’t fallen back into jerking off so soon, especially this month. The Zoe Colletti, Tifa Lockhart pain… I want to publish a book this year. Which will be one of the polite ones. Yet you know there are plenty that aren’t so much. What to do with them? Get uncomfortable and work; that’s the big thing. I try to be so polite to others. And then I’m more so to myself, Madam. Holding back everything seems so damn polite. But if I want any real comfort here… Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness.

701 Days Without B III, Day 142 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will