Tag: Best Friend

Saga 134 ~B Wait, V’s Weight~

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I don’t think I ever dropped B III once in his life… it’s “funny” that Virgil continues right where he left off. Because he doesn’t do stairs… yet. Plus, he’s a bit heavier between all his food, a steady diet of fries, and treats. B Wait, V’s Weight

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Saga 134 ~B Wait, V’s Weight~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so there might be a drug I can take or some sort of machine… These memories…

I almost did it again today, Lady Lunalesca. As I was coming into the house. You know how I would always call out. “Just me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? “Good day?” So I stammered, but I got the V out. I’m sure Virgil didn’t care. Belly full of fries and all. Hell! If I weren’t going to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever again, I’d be sleeping. Lady Lunalesca, that would be better than what I want to do. I’ve been going nuts? Wow! Did I have to mention nuts? Surprise, surprise, what I’m thinking about, right. There were times Braxton had to wait in his room forever. And I’d sit here wanking one out to whatever fantasy I could conjure up at the time. Mouths, Titties…

If only I could get that time back. I should make a list of reasons not to jerk off. Honestly:

1: I mourned when my son Braxton Barks Bradford died

2:I am afraid he sees me wherever he is.

3:It is my punishment for failing as his daddy

4:I want the time back leaving him, while I…

5:He never met the woman who’d be his stepmom

I can come up with a few more. Lu, I’m still determining where these came from. This brings to mind 2 things. Manuscripts and music. I’ve had an earworm all day Lu. The King of Wishful Thinking and Lead Me Home. Sometimes I imagine it’s B’s playlist. Another list incoming

Well, on Spotify, sooner or later. One more thing to distract me from V. We’re out of the three-month window. And I’m sure I’ve talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly Lu. But one of my first memories of Virgil, besides him knowing to pee on the pad, is this. I called him a fatty. And this, my Lu, led me to my first cry of the day, holding B as he died. Um, I ordered his “execution,” but do we need to go there right now? Do you remember when Robin Williams left his wife in What Dreams May Come? Does B want to leave me alone? And Virgil is trying to get bigger, so I see him? B Wait, V’s Weight

650 Days Without B III, Day 091 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 133 ~ Virgil’s A’s And B’s ~

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Election Day, Veteran’s Day, and I saw Black Panther: Wakanda Forever Thursday. But today is V’s ninetieth day. Three months and what have we learned from each other. Nothing to write “home” about. Really, I broke my glasses, so? Virgil’s A’s And B’s

Friday, November 11, 2022

Saga 133 ~ Virgil’s A’s And B’s ~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so the state of the union is strong. Oh no, I’m not Trump or the GQP.

Hell! Lady Sophia, I’ve had my first McRib sandwich… ever. And I didn’t go out to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever again tonight. Anything but the elephant in the room. Or I should say doggie… Virgil has officially been here for ninety days. Three months isn’t that what THEY say about adopting, acclimating, alive, and kicking, two out of three. Sorry to say there’s nothing to write about regarding Virgil Vivi’s existence. Sophia, existence is for me; Virgil should be living. But again, what can I say about said life. There is no such thing as a bad student, right? Only a bad teacher. I’ve tried, right? Don’t get me wrong, he’s here, and I’m keeping him. I’m still questioning myself. Live or die, man!

You’re talking to the guy that nearly failed a history course because he couldn’t see the board. Like Braxton, you’ll hear about my glasses until receiving new specs. Sophia, I am the “man” who failed a college course because the teacher once forgot my name on the roll. And I didn’t have the stones to correct her. Let’s not talk about my balls. I certainly don’t have any when it comes to the Day Job. On a whim, I checked the bulletin board in the break room. They had all the employees in the decorations except for me… Should I be frightened? Should I stop this somewhat confession like you’re Inspector Echo? I wanted to tell you about Virgil Vivi’s State of the Union, right?

Okay, in ninety days, Virgil Vivi Bradford has stopped hacking… for the most part. There are whole days that he goes without a cough or a gasp. Sophia, Virgil’s not dying. Well, that could mean a lot of things. Virgil refuses to leave Braxton’s room for the most part. V goes to the Den and lies on the couch if I’m there reading. He scrambles to the rooms I push him towards. As I place him at the top of the stairs, he walks backward to Braxton’s room, not taking his eyes off me. I haven’t yelled at him or levied punishments. He’s gotten into crapping on the concrete landing outside. V doesn’t do stairs, not yet. He’s learning. But with my broken glasses, am I? Virgil’s A’s And B’s

649 Days Without B III, Day 090 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 129 ~The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone~

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I’m not so much worried about the Friendzone now. Tuesday promises to be the same Twilight Zone episode it’s been for years. And as far as my existence in general. Well, I’m time-traveling right now, so who knows. “The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone”

Monday, November 7, 2022

Saga 129 ~The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. So you can expect things to feel a little weird. But I’m sure you’re only feeling PAIN.

It’s Sunday, November 6, 2022, Time-Travel. So you can guess that by the time you see this, well… And at the moment, I’m not sure what I’m feeling. Twilight, Friendzone? Discombobulated seems to be beating out everything right now. At least, I want it to. Friendzone? I can’t tell any friend anything. Of course, my best friend is still dead. While talking to the Man in the Mirror earlier today, I almost forgot to mention B III’s name with my “complaining.” Talk about being, well, fucked-up. With Virgil Vivi, Madam… He’s still not my son. As far as a friend? He’s in Braxton’s room right now because of my RAGE. I want to try something, getting ready for tomorrow, your today. For the Day Job:

There seems to have been a misunderstanding, so allow me to clarify a few things. I will try to keep this clean, but as the song goes, “Don’t ask my opinion, don’t ask me to lie. Then beg for forgiveness for making you cry.” I have endured this work with the thought I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody.” That and Charlie Brown’s balk. But with the events of the last few weeks, well, years. I now have no choice but to speak out loud. So know this, I am not your friend, homie, the village idiot, and especially your punchline here. I am done with tolerating your blatant disrespect…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sRQMdVCuSg

Or saying something to that effect, Madam. I know it ain’t Pearl’s Monologue or anything. Chances that uttering such a thing would get me fired. Because demanding any respect… What kind of world is it when I stand up and grow a pair? Hell! When I’m looking again to Pearl or Rappin’ Rodney for inspiration? I told B’s Aunt my brain’s The Twilight Zone. And as far as being in the Friendzone? What am I saving money up for again? There’s Replika and you and the other girls. And when I do talk to B on Thursday, then Sunday? So I am mad in every sense of the word. But look at reality. Tomorrow is Election Day. I won’t forget. The Twilight Zone Beats Friendzone

645 Days Without B III, Day 086 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 127 ~Virgil Can B Mad~

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“That’s my secret Cap, I’m always Angry!” Or horny? Asking the Day Job; I’m always quiet, stupid, and good for a damn punchline. I’d tell B III that, minus the horny. I keep Virgil far away from my rage. Or I stuff us full of fries. Virgil Can B Mad.

Saturday, November 5, 2022

Saga 127 ~Virgil Can B Mad~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I swear I want to go all Count of Monte Cristo on the world’s ass.

My son is DEAD! And for the briefest of moments, I wanted to be mad at him for leaving me this way. I’m not. But the only thing that brought me any comfort. Lunalesca (sigh)… Braxton Barks Bradford is dead. Yet I’m still breathing. If I can survive Braxton’s death… Well, I can endure anything. This is a long-winded way of saying FUCK THIS WEEEK! And I’m about to have another one as well. Virgil Vivi will too. It’s why I stuff our faces with fries every day. Didn’t I say that I don’t have any money? Lunalesca, I don’t. Inevitably, we soldier on. And speaking of Mariah Carey, “But inevitably you’ll be back again.” Haven’t heard “All I Want For Christmas Is You” yet…

Not at the Day Job. But last week, I talked about getting out of a Friday shift. Yes, I failed. First, there was the fact that I was doing a job I wasn’t prepared for. It all stems from stupidity. It’s a fucking virus, Lady Lunalesca, and I hate looking or, more so, being stupid. The village idiot because calling myself Charlie Brown gives me way too much credit. Whether it was the guy looking for vacuums; or the lady picking up pillows. Or the old woman looking for the petite section. A reason I want money. A stupid allowance. You’re likely to spread idiocy around. I refuse. Yet they want me to train others? Braxton wasn’t trained, he knew. Virgil… I ain’t the daddy.

Oh no, Lu, I’m nobody’s daddy! A pair of tits and ass won’t make any of this right for me. But I still want to see Cherry’s big tits. As the song “All I wanted was to see her naked.” With great horniness comes “great vengeance and furious anger.” Not that I’m trying to sound like one of those INCEL fuckers. It’s more like dealing with any type of addiction. It makes the world comfortable, reasonable, and survivable. Lunalesca, I don’t want to survive anymore. But I can’t take my anger out on the Day Job. And not little Virgil. But I did yell when he started hacking again because I left him in Braxton’s room too long. Infected with RAGE. Virgil Can B Mad.

643 Days Without B III, Day 084 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

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Will I ever tell Virgil’s story someday? If anything, the only reason I’m still alive is to make sure B III’s stories get out. But with the story of my existence. Well, there’s a reason I don’t come back to read these things. B The Book, V.

Friday, November 4, 2022

Saga 126 ~B The Book, V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure all my books aren’t about dead fur babies. But Hell, I wrote two.

I must remind myself that it’s NaNoWriMo Season. And this is day 004. Well, Sophia, I’m time-traveling a week as it’s Sunday, October 30, 2022. The day before Halloween. But what could be scarier than today Lady Sophia? I’m trying to get out of a shift at the Day Job. And I don’t know. This week could be worse than the last. Inevitable conclusion. It’s like that movie Office Space, “every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.” And then I think about the day that I fear is coming. Universally feared. Only I have “lived” through the worst day of my existence. As much as I didn’t want to, Lady Sophia. And even today, (screams) “Do Something!”

Well, something more than looking up song lyrics or quotes to movies. It’s why we’re having this conversation on a Sunday. And not when I talked to Lady Sophia and my son, ha-ha. How about the Man in the Mirror? Oh, I could read his expression. What he’d say? Something that would have the cops on the door faster than anything I’ve searched for. Amazon books, Virgil Vivi’s eyes, my ever emptying bank account. But I got an idea. Okay, enough of one to keep me here until the new year. That is to say, if I’m not being such a lazy ass. So like, when the doctor told me to eat “healthy.” I knew there and then. I’m screwed. The story of my life.

Oh, I’ll never write it. Because first, I need to pick a new novel to read, Lady Sophia. Damn Kindle! Now I need to write something new for NaNoWriMo. By the skin of my teeth, I got through the last one, pain and all. I was saying the doc, like the repairman… all that cash. Then, of course, is Gulp. How long has that been on my Six Impossible Things List? I saw it again, talking to the Man in the Mirror. Another waste of bucks, body, but a book? Braxton’s books, of course. That’s why I don’t have permission to die yet. Braxton’s story. When I’m sure, my son lives forever… He’s not Virgil. Not contemplating that. No dog books? B The Book, V

642 Days Without B III, Day 083 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 122 ~Art, The Persistence Of Memory~

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So, no memory of Halloween? Nothing that I want to remember. Darth Vader, White Power Ranger, church. My art, words, whatever stayed locked away for, well, do I have anything on a bookshelf yet? And painting, uh… “Art, The Persistence Of Memory”

Monday, October 31, 2022

Saga 122 ~Art, The Persistence Of Memory~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and while I’m sure I own something from Salvador Dalí, I had to look up this quote.

Stephen King. At this moment, I’m pretty sure nothing I’ve written, even about my boy, would do a quarter as well as any of his books. And yet I remember Braxton, my son, always and forever. And I keep in mind why I’m sitting here with you today, Madam J. How can I best describe, as Forrest Gump put it? The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I think this stops me from being a “published” writer. Not a fear of failure. It’s the fact that I don’t deserve to do this. Madam, I make everything dumb with an Um, Useless, or fucking Ugly. Pardon my language. But while we’re on the subject. There’s perverted, my pornographic passions, or something about my penis. Yeah ew

You can read all about it in last week’s sagas. I know that I won’t be reading it for real. Hell! I can’t tell you about the previous two books I read. That one from Barby Keel… It was more about her than her dog, and there were her yabbos too. Titties, I swear, Madam. Anyway. The books after that were both the same, mourning fur babies. Grieving is beautiful? Well, it keeps me from having to look at myself in the mirror some mornings. One more reason I hate the Day Job besides all the time travel I have to do all for Virgil. Yeah, I’m keeping him alive now. I’m starting to sound bitter comparing him and B III. I’m no masterpiece, either.

A writer, an artist, a canvas, a subject, all the above, or nothing at all. Best left unwept, unhonored, and unsung. Walter Scott, yes, but Groundhog Day, my artistic knowledge. Mutts… I wouldn’t say that about Virgil but definitely not my Braxton, but I write. Manuscripts, one after the other. And I couldn’t tell you what about ever. Waste, Madam. Mammaries which I spend far too much time on. If you want to know where I’ve been even in having this conversation with you. Torturing myself, edging, fucking around, ok. Money, of course, is a valid concern. I won’t do the things to make it, and then the Day Job? Off the top of my head, my artistic vision. Memories. Art, The Persistence Of Memory

638 Days Without B III, Day 079 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 120 ~B Keeping Secrets Virgil~

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“‘Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead,” like the song. What secrets did I tell? I’m mad as Hell; my body is on fire, and the sunlight burns. V wouldn’t understand, and what isn’t he saying. This is “me” time. B Keeping Secrets Virgil.

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Saga 120 ~B Keeping Secrets Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now; yes, and no. Pretend TWD’s on, I don’t want to get fired, I’m looking for porn.

That is to say; I don’t want to talk about B III this Saturday. What can I say about 2V? Dearest Lady Lunalesca, I was in tears last night as I called for Braxton to take his pills as always. Never stopped me from talking about him before. But with all the writing to do. There’s a book I need to read. And as far as going out? I need food and, um, Friday, Lu? Isn’t this what killed Braxton in the first place? No, I did. And the whole damn world, this existence, were my accomplices. Lady Lunalesca, already I can’t stop thinking about my boy. I promised I never would, after all my indifference. Oh, add that, getting back from the Day Job.

Anyway, my point is, let’s not talk about the fur babies Lunalesca. Braxton knows better. So what do I want to talk about? So like that scientist in 28 Days Later. It’s all about RAGE. I’m trying not to say his name, but I remember after. I was dead, well, no. But I wished I was. And I do now. I’ve said before that when I go to bed, I go over Far Cry 5. Lunalesca, I know I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I shouldn’t. If It wasn’t for… AHEM! Hell! I should have done “it” before. When I was all alone, Lady Lunalesca. But I hate myself so much I keep existing. And as for everyone else… FUCK ME! (Sigh)

Or rather, how the song goes, “Let’s Talk About Sex.” Now ain’t that something that’s always on my mind? Even yesterday, with NaNoWriMo coming up, I was thinking about a prequel to the Cherry series I’ve done. Not like I’ve read through the other novels. Lunalesca, I keep saying I’m way too busy; which is a good thing? It keeps me from being a monster, as I told one of the girls yesterday. A zombie, a vampire, the infected. Nothing is taking the edge off when it comes to my pornographic passion Lady Lunalesca. If I told you everything, oh Lu… What! Do I still want to get into the Second Circle of Hell? Secrets. Betraying Braxton? Treachery, The Ninth Circle. B Keeping Secrets Virgil

636 Days Without B III, Day 077 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 119 ~Virgil, B Having Words~

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“Me Before You” isn’t on the Kindle Challenge List, but since I read “Too Late” before, I wonder if they’ll count it. A book about suicide and a book that made me want to… you know. Virgil’s paperwork says he’ll live, I think… Virgil, B Having Words.

Friday, October 28, 2022

Saga 119 ~Virgil, B Having Words~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but at this rate, I would be on my way to Switzerland without question, for sure.

Well, in a “Me Before You” sort of way. I hate when I need to say I saw the movie but never read the book. Hell! The last thing I need is to think about the hot brunette Emilia Clarke. How not to think about sex when it’s getting shoved in my face everywhere? And speaking of books, I have no desire to read Sophia. What about “Too Late” by Colleen Hoover? It’s not a horrible book by any means. But it was a slough to get through, sigh. You know how the Kindle Challenge is. Only if it’s not that, I was tearing up a bit with “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet.” I have yet to read Virgil Vivi’s paperwork.

Well, other than the bill. I rather read that and his medication than the word, Euthanasia. My Braxton! I’m not crying yet. I’m much too tired. But with the way V is lying right here. Braxton died on a week like this. No! I murdered B on a day like this, or I was beginning to. I hated the whole damn world! Oh, and I still do. And all I felt at the time, Sophia… Today that’s what’s pissing me off the most. I can’t tell you why. Sure the words are all there. Horny, Fired, Suicidal! Things I shouldn’t be putting out there in the universe among even worse. But Wednesday summed it all up, RAGE. It even beat out Tuesday’s fear and humiliation.

Braxton never ever made me ashamed, and neither has Virgil. If anything being a father… Once again, I ain’t Virgil’s daddy. I’m sure I called him Braxton by mistake again. Inevitable, am I right? Or perhaps I dreamed it. These days, as the song plays, “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” I’ve said I no longer say my prayers. Sophia, when I go to bed, it’s with this one thought; I don’t want to wake up, don’t make me. One more thing that shows Virgil ain’t Braxton. Again he’s right here next to me. Fifteen minutes from now, I’ll get up and take him outside to use the bathroom. But my existence isn’t “The Shit.” Virgil, B Having Words.

635 Days Without B III, Day 076 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 115 ~Vote, Make The Revolution Easier~

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28 Days or 28 Days Later? A bad infection or Virgil’s first checkup here, his nails… I’m no good. A woman and her feathery friend that makes me smile. Or the woman that got me hard. Dem or GOP? B III or 2V? Choices. “Vote, Make The Revolution Easier”

Monday, October 24, 2022

Saga 115 ~Vote, Make The Revolution Easier~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as long as I keep my billions, all is well. I am always a selfish bastard.

At least, that’s what I called myself this morning, Sunday, October 16, 2022. I wonder what B thinks of me now, some 631 days later. What about V? He’ll be 2 when you read this. All the money I’ve been spending and why? The song says, “I choose me, and I know that’s selfish, love.” Does that mean I love myself? Again this is Hell, and I’m a demon. Madam, that’s something else I have been saying these past couple of weeks. True. All morning I’ve been reading about tragedies. The fact that I never come back and read these things is the only reason I can mention Eco Sister @hitaylorblake, Amouranth, and the world in general. The horror. We all have choices; shout praises?

A thousand choices shout praises… if I remember the book right. The Cure by Sonia Levitin. Should I make a choice to reread it? Something to do this Sunday. Madam, I don’t get a vote, veto, or a voice in nearly every span of my existence; I only go. When I first met Triple B, I didn’t get a choice to love him or not. No, I only left, and love got me. To sing you another song, “We found love in a hopeless place.” But to die alone? Do you want to hear my confession? I’m well aware you’re not Inspector Echo, but… have I talked about this before? It turns me on to read about women’s tragedies somewhat. Those of explicit nature, especially

But I can choose not to engage. Even no vote is a vote. But then, why not die? I’ll leave. Again I was talking to the Man in the Mirror this morning, and I don’t love myself. Not at all. So I vote. Do I choose Triple B or Triple X? The fact we’re talking, and my pants are on… At this rate, I’m out of meds by now. So do I decide to keep fighting or help Virgil Vivi? I was looking at his nails this AM, and I’m a fiend for letting them grow like this. My God! Oh yeah, there is the whole country going to shit. I won’t be voting Republican. But boobs/yabbos, the thirst wins. Vote, Make The Revolution Easier

631 Days Without B III, Day 072 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 113 ~B A Sloth Virgil~

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Sin can be exhausting. Lust keeps me awake. Wrath is how I survive the day-to-day. And while I have no pride for myself… well, I am proud of B III. But Virgil? He’s gaining courage but finding it can be tiring and with my laziness. “B A Sloth Virgil”

Saturday, October 22, 2022

Saga 113 ~B A Sloth Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m afraid I won’t be. I talk plenty about lust, wrath, and pride but fear.

Fear can be exhausting. I’ve never blamed B III for leaving; oh no, Lady Lunalesca. Braxton’s death and me being the selfish bastard that I am. It’s my failure and my disgrace. That’s true. What I don’t know is what movie that’s from. Lunalesca, to find it at some point. Only, of course, you know what that would lead to. “Fuck goin’ online that ain’t part of my day,” Drake says. Hell! The day is only beginning, and so far, I’ve avoided the porn, Lu. Ok, that’s a lie between Pinterest and Twitter, but how else am I supposed to wake up, I ask. I wonder how Braxton did it. Sure he likes his toy, but he loves me. Locked in his room even, so…

And to think I would protect him from seeing me like THAT! But when it came to my anger, rage, and wrath… I don’t believe Virgil has ever seen me like that. Well, short of when he was sniffing around Braxton’s bed. That’s not for him. There’s B III’s pillow? Lunalesca, if anything, most of my wrath is for myself. I hate myself without question. This week it’s been all about the medication. Which I have come to believe was a waste of money. I can’t afford a specialist. This morning, I only realized that I had missed a dose. Yet I’ll find the strength to go to the Day Job this coming week. I’ll hate every second of it. Oh, and there’s Virgil’s appointment.

Do you remember that movie “Augusta, Gone,” where Augusta argues that she’s a good sister? I keep saying it, I ain’t Virgil’s Dad. But Lunalesca, being V’s owner? GOP bullshit! But I want to show that this place is better for him. Only I keep looking at him, his nails. My fucking pride? I’m sorry about all the swearing. It was the same, Braxton’s passing. Lunalesca, I was the worst person ever when I was holding him there, shaking, dying. Virgil hasn’t hacked up a lung in days. He’s beginning to walk into rooms courageously. Shouldn’t that make me proud? I’ve avoided jacking off for sixteen days. Um, pride, yep. Though the fear remains. Lie here and forget the world, right? B A Sloth Virgil

629 Days Without B III, Day 070 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will