Lesson 308 ~Time Of My Life~

Too much tie on my hands, around my wrist, on my phone, my dog’s leash, my keyboard and at the end of the day it all goes to waste, and I know better, but I’m surviving. Time Of My Life and I have felt like this before and worse.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Lesson 308 ~Time Of My Life~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, and there’s been no “dirty dancing” here though I am disappointed in myself for several reasons and I don’t even know what to call this time in my life. Yesterday I was supposed to have fun but what did I do… barely watched any Star Wars movies (only three). I worked on “Star Loves Not Wars,” as my knack for organizing makes me feel productive. Maybe “I got that magic you call OCD” does it matter honestly?

When you realize time is not on your side, part-time retail job and the thing you’ve chosen as a career isn’t getting done, I’m still not editing or working on my poetry book, and I’m spending money on what, NaNoWriMo gear and movies. Now I did go shopping for actual food online which I have to go pick-up, my idea of saving time and for what, other than keeping my word and reading yesterday what am I doing with myself. Of course, I’m brought to one of my disappointments, that I’m a grown ass “man,” and I had a wet dream a few nights ago figured I should reset No Fap, but not my fault.

It could always be my health, allergies on top of not getting enough sleep, don’t get me started on food, it’s been all chicken, or I’m a seafood addict not that I ordered much of that. What about my son, getting up to walk him is the highlight of his day, and if it’s not my exhaustion, it’s social anxiety, and if anything, he should be having the time of his life these days I think? I keep telling myself maybe tomorrow, and perhaps that’s just it, Lady Luna this could be like that movie “The One,” and I’m just traveling through different versions of my life, not repeating the same day but nine lives.

How many times have I thought I’ve died and unlike Jet Li, I’m not getting stronger, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, should start running, or could only think this is a lot more suffering than death? Yeah I certainly sound down, but I’m saving my apologies for customers at work or Inspector Echo but have I done any good deeds, anything to make someone smile other than my dog; birthday gifts a few.

Yeah “Indiana Gone” should be enjoying her birthday vacay, and I’m helping a business next week, but as I’ve said, the concept of survival isn’t the Time Of My Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 301 ~No More Heroes Anymore~

I’m no hero, but at the same time I don’t want to be just cannon fodder, and for sure I’m not Atlas trying to carry the whole world, but maybe somebody should tell that to my e-mail account or the guy wanting me to donate. No More Heroes Anymore

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Lesson 301 ~No More Heroes Anymore~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, and in other news, I don’t need to be saved either and don’t worry I’m not about to turn all religious on you. Honestly, we wouldn’t have so many heroes if that was the case. Why don’t we ask ourselves why we need so many heroes and I answer, it’s because the world is just one big mess and yet we tell everyone to do their part, but look at all the charities, the programs, the ideology.

Hell you might as well call me a Republican, but then again I didn’t donate to babies when I was at the store today, and sure I didn’t want to but say I did, what about the puppies, what about housing, and there is always disease. There was this man today that called me “rabbi,” seriously I’m not religious, and this guy, just another black guy trying to make it in the world who only wanted to talk, maybe he needed a friend. Don’t get me started on friendship; you know “Cherry” can be draining, people talk about enemies but it’s your friends Lu that take it all, and no I don’t mean like that.

“I got enemies, got a lotta enemies
Got a lotta people tryna drain me of my energy.”
Drake ― Energy

How about the girl I saw today while I was shopping, beautiful and all but I didn’t want to mess up her day; another reason I’m not a hero, I lack courage, and to a villain, it wouldn’t have mattered. You see every person on Earth is their world, trying to save themselves, some find by helping others they indeed accomplish this, but that ain’t everybody though they continue to say that thinking of yourself is selfish. Personally and I’ve said it before, I don’t want to be the hero, and I feel so horrible saying that, I feel selfish, every day we are inundated with cries for help, justice, and those that can try.

“Nothing in the world is the way it oughta be. It’s harsh and cruel, but that’s why there’s us: champions. Doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be. You’re not a part of that yet. I hope you will be.” Deep Down

Maybe I’m just feeling overwhelmed at the moment as again I live “my” life not for myself but others, and when I do rest, I feel like I’ve wasted a day. I do it out of love for my dog, the needs of my job, the fear of my father, and the lives of my friends. The problem with being a hero is they only get to see the bad, and with victory comes no meaning, and at the very least a villain understands what he does, don’t I know.

Villains and tragedy give heroes purpose, and I have enough of the bad, but no matter what I say I only need one hero and that’s me, the rest of the world has plenty fighting to keep it going, so let them be strong, I’ll say No More Heroes Anymore.

“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” The Dark Knight (2008)

I Will Have No Fear

Because Bed

Because that’s where she is, in my head, in my heart in my dreams and because everywhere else I know I can’t have her. “Because Bed” is safe but even standing right next to her, well if the girl only knew what I was thinking… baggy pants anyone?

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dkqwmnYppc

Beginning with her eyes, her smile
beckoning my heart, but the rest of me,
bedsheets should hide but really
beautiful still; my eyes close for awhile

Bewitched by an angel…
Bewildered and such
Beware this thing they call love
Betrays the most beautiful stranger

Beasts such as I
bearing my heart accountable
“Be my heroine!” shouted loud and powerful
Becoming my *sigh*

Belief… in love me like you do
Be heard
Be hers
Because know, she has no reason to

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Yuffie Kisaragi … Final Fantasy VII, Madonna “Beautiful Stranger”, Major Lazer ft. Ellie Goulding and Tarrus Riley “Powerful”, and Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack

Heartbeats Frequency

Does it matter how loud it is, does it matter if has a tendency to skip anytime I see her in the morning or I touch her, I wonder would it matter if she were mine… oh my love-struck heart? “Heartbeats Frequency” somehow not enough

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBfpBTB6P1o

Frequency…
Don’t care how loud my heart has become;

if your moans, screams, and sighs burst my eardrums
Perhaps the reason silence exist

is just so I can feel your kiss
or to stop me from asking why…

everyone says hi; just as long as you never say goodbye
But “I love you” could you handle it?

Would you love me like you do, with
Frequency

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Victoria… Real Doll, Pink “Try”, Young Beautiful in a Hurry ft. Fyfe Monroe “Everyone Says Hi”, (David Bowie Cover), and Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack