Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

“Well, you can tell by the way I roll, shorty, that I’m a ladies’ man. A businessman.” While B III was here. Trying to win the maid or spending money on his favorite girl. And now existing… more like slavery. How dare I? Virgil’s Business Bugs B

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Saga 323 ~Virgil’s Business Bugs B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I don’t know what for. I got wealthy Olds? Nah! No boobs, books, or bureaucracy.

What? Do I need to be any more depressed at the end of the week? I was annoyed; what was it? Monday, Tuesday, or both? When I couldn’t “watch” wrestling. Oh! I was all “jerk to divas” (Twitter), no doubt Lady Lunalesca. But actual television. Effing nightmares. Lunalesca, it’s been all porn. And seeing how I’ve had to restart my… celibacy, abstinence… Should we call it sobriety? It’s been three days and counting. SHE’S not helping. Case No. 7906243 – What’s Under The Jacket? with Lulu Chu | Shoplyfter. What about My Dirty Maid Destiny Slams Her Cuban Big Ass On My Cock? There’s Ashley Graham. If you’re wondering what got me out of bed… More like it woke me up. Depression at missing Braxton?

You must be sick to death of hearing about him, Lady Lunalesca. The highlight of my week. A few precious minutes of meditation. Thinking of something to be grateful for, always being Braxton’s Dad. Next came sleep. And then there’s writing which explains the conversation we’re having right now. And why my underwear isn’t at my ankles this very second? Because this is my business. Lady Lunalesca, business, existing… Effing. Don’t I wish? Do you know how many pornstars there are when looking up Shoplyfter? And here Virgil has left me all by my lonesome. More like I put him in B’s room for now. Ain’t like he’s coming to look for me. He wants to live long enough to figure out what he’s doing.

Because it ain’t taking B’s place. Not that he ever could. To keep existing Lunalesca? Please! You can relax. I haven’t taken a painkiller today. And the last time I touched a gun… Well, it sort of spoiled my meditating mood. I was hearing things. It was something creaking. How about something I have to pay for? Again not the crux of my sadness, Lu. But we’ve talked about my big three pornos. And then my three elements of gratitude. With depression comes my boy, blogging, and an effing ton of bucks needed. Uh, food? Hell! If my “father” were here, I wouldn’t mind starving. B, I wouldn’t mind “living.” Because he was a “good dog,” and what’s best for business. Virgil’s Business Bugs B

839 Days Without B III, Day 280 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

I write stuff. Not the right stuff or the white stuff. “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Prolific? There’s “All I wanted was to see her naked.” Then there are website developers and things for The Boys. “Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…”

Friday, May 19, 2023

Saga 322 ~Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning I would never have to write again. I love writing (every day…) but… the dream.

I don’t blame Braxton for saying, “bye.” More like “later.” Like father like son, Sophia. Though how many times have I written about Braxton’s last WORDS? “Why can’t I stay?” That’s from Angel, Season 5. Episode 15 “A Hole in the World.” But again, Lady Sophia, father, and son. How dare I say Braxton’s best days were/are sitting on the loveseat with me watching crap. I’ve told B III’s story. How he knew and would leave his toy with me. If anything, it beat him sitting under the table. Waiting for me to write anything that could resemble crap. I would go to the library. There was me writing alone as he went to bed. And here we are two years after. Have I published…

I don’t blame Virgil for being bored, either. Hell! I went most of the day without speaking to him. I wish I could say I was writing. Oh, I was hitting keys. But that was only to watch other people’s stories. And I wish that it was only that. I’m lazy but plenty worse, Sophia. And then there’s all the right, white, write stuff—words with many meanings. It’s not like living, surviving, and existing. I can tell one from the other. Doing anything… For Braxton or Virgil, The Boys? I hate how in this head, there’s already a story being… let’s say, edited? Hell! I have been thinking it’s gone on way too long daily. But V’s tale, Sophia? I still can’t read him.

I will blame myself for that. At least I don’t have to type the words, delete, block, and eff off. That would give me even less time to be with B. Please! Writing now. Sophia, it could be so much worse. All the novels, notes, and nothing poetry written and disgusted with myself. Over what I wrote last night. Yeah, typing into a search bar. Doctors would have a field day. Not that I’m going to see one soon. I don’t need the bills, ok? Despite knowing something is very wrong with me. In a physical sense, to be sure. And the answer is always the same. Only it didn’t save Braxton. Or solidify Virgil, and I’s friendship. The Boys say Write Stuff. Braxton, Virgil…

838 Days Without B III, Day 279 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

The first girl that won B over I’d choose. The first two were related to us. The third, he was leading to the bedroom. “What, Daddy, what’s wrong with her?” Never got to a fourth. Hasn’t been a woman in this house since he’s been gone. B Said Mama, V

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Saga 316 ~B Said Mama, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. As you know, Lady Lunalesca, we Billionaires are the biggest crybabies. I already started for Braxton…

Well, at least he’s part of why I’m crying now. Hell! He didn’t see me cry the day we met. I have to ease up on meditation. Last night, during the session, I was told to think of something that made me feel good. I’m sad to admit that B was nowhere to be found. What I thought about was being in bed sleeping. It could be worse, Lady Lunalesca. Already as the song goes, “Pretend that we’re dead.” I was that before Braxton. After… But anyway, the night I first met him, I couldn’t cry. He was this little “ball of fluff” I always wanted, even if I forgot. And there he was, being hugged by his new mom. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle…

If that. A brother or the other human that he had. Because the question became, “Where is your mother?” Braxton’s mom was everywhere. Now I didn’t mean that the way it sounded… Don’t my nephews have two different daddies? Shut-up! So B III’s mom, ha. What about my Ma? I haven’t seen her since Granddaddy’s funeral on Monday, January 30, 2023. Lunalesca, I’m sure I’ve talked to her after that. I’m a “man” who wants a family but can’t provide for one, that’s for damn sure. I have $5,000 in my name. Feeling lucky, hmm? And again, manhood and fatherhood. Nope! I texted her about the garbage bill. I think. But as far as getting a hug from her. I smelled worse than the corpse.

That was so not cool, I know. I still think about what I said to M Anime’s racial slur. Yep. You know Lady Lunalesca, I want to do much more than hug her; when it came to Braxton and his Aunt Carolina’s yabbos. Hell! He would have called her Ma as he led her to the bedroom. I do miss her “platonic” hugs. And I always said I would find him a hug. One more promise that I didn’t keep. Write a damn tab. No, I’m not mad, Luna. Looking at the date, and I’m cold. I don’t get enough hugs. My voice is like ice, to be sure. And something’s hard like ice. Finding a mom for Braxton… and Virgil. B Said Mama, V

832 Days Without B III, Day 273 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

What am I going to read? Even if all I did was meditate, my head would be, “EXTRA, EXTRA, read all about it,” B III is still gone. I’ll read his medicine bottles. The TV will show the GOP get away with everything. And books? Lying With B, Virgil

Friday, May 12, 2023

Saga 315 ~Lying With B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can lie forever and a day. Right, CNN? But comedy comes in threes…

As in my son B III, Triple, or it’s hip to B squared. Hell! I was about to say, “I feel,” like a killer. Only we know the truth, Lady Sophia. As the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Yes! Even now, I refuse to admit my boy is dead. I know he is. But every day, I call Braxton! You know I talk to him more than I do, Virgil. Even now, Virgil is dead center in the bed, and I moved over. He’s not my son. I wish I wanted; I wouldn’t be like this. Not his fault. Only I do believe it was B that was speaking to me on that day. But what now, B III? Braxton, lying about everything you.

Let’s focus on me, which you can see above. I don’t know why I decided to come clean today. Just because. You’re not Inspector Echo. And if Braxton were here… I’d know better. What about Nelson Mandela… “It’s never too late to do the right thing.” He wasn’t talking about the angle of the dangle… So why did I want to lie about it for so long, Sophia? Can I stop talking about my “Enormous Penis?” I swear I’ll start anew at 9:00 AM. Anyway, you know how I hate liars. And everything I have read this week has been about some liar. At least, “That’s why I’m starting with me.” Everything seems to be pointing to me getting out of bed. Braxton ain’t here.

And even if he were, I would be on the loveseat. Or better, at the dining room table writing away. I would tell him and me that I’m doing this to give us a better life. But I exist, sigh. And I want to say I’m trying. But that would be one more lie. I mean, even when I read… Again I’m reading The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. Yet it’s only a chapter or two a day. And today being Friday or even tomorrow, I’ll read “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Contract.” Lady Sophia, it’s all so I can keep up with a book a week, hmm. Good news. Like I’m doing something “Successful.” When I instead be Lying With B, Virgil.

831 Days Without B III, Day 272 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

I never wanted to be a president or king. There was a time I wanted to be Dennis Hof, minus the GOP. But as Malcolm X put it, “I have to stand here today as what I was when I was born: a black man. Trite, considering. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

Saturday, May 6, 2023

Saga 309 ~Braxton, The Charge, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can be guilty as sin but with enough paper… meaning green, not white.

I could use both; to be honest, I could use both. Seeing as how I haven’t been feeling well this week. I need to see a doctor. But considering the last few attempts. I get what I effing deserve! Lunalesca, who am I, the Joker? I’ve said it a few times. The comedian is dead. And yet my entire existence… So I won’t hold my breath on Trump ever facing punishment. And King Charles III Coronation is going on today. They say, heavy the head that wears the crown. Hell! Unlike Trump, I have a conscience. And the crowns I have been seeing, uh? Better not to say. But my head hurts, amongst other things? Braxton is dead. I yelled at a friend. The Day Job sucks. So, I’m guilty.

What did I do wrong? Lunalesca, I could name any number of things. Waking up. Honestly, one of the Revenge of the Nerds movies says it better… you were born. That’s enough. I’m sorry I’m so down this morning. If only I got up late again today. But my punishment or mistake? I don’t even know (sigh). The fact is I want to sleep, Lunalesca. But there is my charge. Virgil Vivi Bradford. He’s been getting worse… more scared, Lu. Like father, like son? But he’s not my son. Lunalesca, Virgil will never be Braxton. Lunalesca, am I the bad guy, an effing asshole, or have I forgotten. Virgil leads Dante through Hell. Dante never speaks Virgil’s name, though. Is It A Crime? Everything is.

Yet I look into the mirror; “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Again you can talk to Carolina about that. I mentioned her birthday. $50.00 and naked pictures. Lunalesca? There was a time I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Am I guilty of another betrayal? How treacherous am I? That honor belongs to Braxton. And to end such beauty. I’m repeating myself because, again, what happened yesterday. I’m woke. Standing up for what’s right for people. “Chinky” is not a nice word. Fetishizing Asians? I’ve been doing that with one woman in particular. Effing Instagram. But then B’s Aunt. Her getting laid because of me? Talk about some atonement. But all my sins… charges? Life. Braxton, The Charge, Virgil

825 Days Without B III, Day 266 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

I planned on talking about all the books I bought, only I’m sort of a pop culture whore. Me… sexist? Duly noted. But I read something racist from a friend today. One word. I don’t fear being WOKE. Indifference killed my son. “Virgil’s B Book Report.”

Friday, May 5, 2023

Saga 308 ~Virgil’s B Book Report~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford whatever’s on the menu. I can read bills, sales, and regrets.

How to Be an Antiracist is not a book I regret reading. And I don’t blame the author for any of my actions… Uh, you kind of did. I hear ya, Lady Sophia. The power of the penis, as Todd says. I don’t regret reading Succubus Lord, either. Um, a whole other story, I know. It’s like looking over the last of Braxton’s medical bills. I don’t blame the veterinarians. But it does show me when I did the worst thing in my whole “life.” I killed my best friend. It could be the second… I mean, if we’re talking about the STUPIDEST thing ever… BIRTH. Anyway, I’m feeling lousy today because the girl I want to sleep with… She used the word “Chinky.” Racist?

“Oh, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.” – Alexis Bledel Sin City (2005)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? I’m not sure yet. I’m only starting to get into that book. But let’s stick with my attempt to be an Antiracist. As if I even recall what that means. I say I was more WOKE, and I couldn’t help myself. If this cost me the girl. Stupid MF. Hell! Lady Sophia, I spent a bit of time trying to explain away the slur. She could have meant like chink in the armor. “I try so hard. Can’t seem to get away from misery” Inevitable, ain’t it, Lady Sophia, that I screw this up. Trying to understand “What Makes A Good Man?” Hell! What kind of man am I? Ask Carolina Bound. I sent a nude for her birthday.

Hell! I wanted to talk about this Hunger Games book and Mesmerizing Caroline. What about that book binge I went on? I must also get in on a new Kindle Challenge, Lady Sophia. But after reading the alarm clock, 3:35 AM. Then reading M Anime’s text first thing. And yep, thinking with my penis. Have I found a second Hard Limit when it comes to BDSM? Um, a soft limit. The N-Word in music, dirty Latina maids, Asian fetish, etc. And it gets worse. M Anime’s fur baby is hurt, and I’m yelling at her because you know me, Lady Sophia, “Stay Woke.” I need to read more African American books and more about dead fur babies. Reasons dogs don’t write. Virgil’s B Book Report

824 Days Without B III, Day 265 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

I didn’t understand love until Braxton, really… Let me add another word to that, awesome. Awesome was sitting in bed doling out fries to B. It was him sitting on the corner of the bed as I napped. It was being healthy. Someday Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would be awesome. It wouldn’t matter the clock, the crime… this isn’t Australia…

See, or better yet, the C word I wanted to use there. I have all the respect in the world for women. But that doesn’t make me a good man. Or even a man at all, no matter how I try. “My life” ha-ha, my existence is Shiitake mushrooms. And yes, Lady Lunalesca, I did look up are Shiitake mushrooms good for dogs? Because it always comes back to Triple B. “Aaugh!” I would go all FML but no. I continue to exist. Braxton was effed over having me as a friend, father, and freeloader when it came to all his love, Lunalesca. What does all this mean? Hell! Not a damn thing, I know. But the first word that came to mind today… Awesome.

Yeah, I fell asleep during meditation. Relax, Lunalesca, I was supposed to. If I wasn’t going so broke at the end of this month. I am inclined to buy the full service? With a Happy Ending? Oh, I’m sorry, that’s a massage, right? Thirty-eight years and I’ve never had one. And I wouldn’t even have to be a billionaire, Luna. Certain celebrities? Lunalesca, I’m trying to avoid looking them up. Or even something simple as, Happy Tugs. The things in this world that I find awesome. Haven’t I always said that everything I want is Impossible, Inane, Insane… Illegal. Lady Lunalesca, God gave me everything I want. Nope! Not yet. Why not? But you know what? Having Braxton Barks back. Now that would be awesome.

“Everything Is Awesome!!!” But the question is when. What about how or why, Lady Lu? If, as Aloe Blacc sang, “Life’s a game made for everyone.” Let’s start. Easy Level. Lady Lunalesca, (sigh) Virgil would get off my leg. My only reason for getting out of bed today, I swear—another lie. I should get a haircut, go shopping, and keep myself alive for B. Yeah, I said B and not V. And did I say easy? I can’t say what I mean, Lunalesca, ever? How I hope that is a lie. Like I tell myself every time I crawl into bed. I’ll take a nap, or I won’t have to get up at all. In-between, Eff, I mean, uh, Awesome. Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

818 Days Without B III, Day 259 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 301 ~Braxton Booked V, NOT~

If B wanted company, he’d call me before V. Dark? Well, the only books I’ve been reading have involved the dead. But I like dogs. Even now, I’ll say V’s a better “friend” than me to myself. But I have too much to read to leave. Braxton Booked V, NOT.

Friday, April 28, 2023

Saga 301 ~Braxton Booked V, NOT~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means Virgil will be alive for a very long time. “Always,” “Love?” No. Still waiting…

As in words, I’ll write or even say. I won’t kiss the top of Virgil’s head and say, “I’ll always come back for you.” That’s when I would get all sentimental with Braxton. And when I leave, do you remember, “love you B, love, you Braxton. Replace love with later. Inevitably, I’ll get Virgil’s name right too. Before he joins B… many years from now. These days, it’s a struggle to even get out of bed to read. Hell! To do anything but slave away. I wanted to tell the woman I was working with yesterday. I don’t fear dying. Please! As that song PEPPER goes, “They were all in love with dyin.'” I suppose only me, then. And not in the Shakespearian MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING sort of way.

Speaking of ways die (cough) orgasm (cough). If I keep looking at Alycia Debnam-Carey, SAINT X., Or Amy Acker doing MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. I’ll die all in my shorts, ha. Not to mention that right there… The way I have been writing for God knows how long, Sophia. I’m ashamed. So, one more reason I shouldn’t be publishing novels, ever. Anyway. Why am I still alive if I won’t live my purpose? Remembering Braxton. Always and forever. But then there are other people’s successes as well. I see them daily. Only today, as I was watching movie trailers, wasting time. I came across one, Sophia. THE BALLAD of SONGBIRDS and SNAKES. I couldn’t bring myself to watch it, though.

But isn’t that how I was introduced to THE HUNGER GAMES franchise in the first place, Lady Sophia? I also have a thing for naked brunettes with ponytails/pigtails. Like Jennifer Lawrence, Aerith Gainsborough, or Azuma Hisato. Two other brunettes (fingers crossed). Now while I’m lost in one head, the other did like THE HUNGER GAMES, Sophia. Hell! If it isn’t Kindle/Amazon telling me what book to read. Yeah, it’s social media. I talked to Braxton yesterday. He wouldn’t like me reading all these books about losing fur babies daily. And if it’s not that, I should read the last in the Succubus series, SUCCUBUS 8 (RIDDLES and REVENGE). I must read before I can “see” and “hear.” Where’s Braxton’s book again? Braxton Booked V, NOT

817 Days Without B III, Day 258 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 295 ~To B Thirty-Nine Virgil~

V handles his shi… his business better than me. The vet says he’ll continue to at the tune of $125. But then the termite guy wanted $189. And as V “runs” to me, where did I run to… Some man, I am at 38. Yet I want a family. “To B Thirty-Nine Virgil.”

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Saga 295 ~To B Thirty-Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… well, no. Neither am I thirty-nine at the moment. Or proud of myself? Love Virgil? Happy?

Hell! Today will sound like it’s for Inspector Echo. To wake up humiliated, Lady Lunalesca. I had a nightmare about what happened at the Day Job Thursday. Facts Luna, like this one. (Sigh), my son is dead. But Banfield called to check up on 2V today. No, that’s not a dig. They would check on B III all the time as well. Love, business, everything in between? B was/is my business. So where’s his novel, Lunalesca? You’re not Mary J. Blige telling me, “Why won’t you grow up and be a man someday.” I always say something to the tune of “Not Today.” We’ll get into not having a family after all this time. “What do we say to the God of Death? Not today.”

But at thirty-eight, what have I done with this existence? Notice I don’t want to say “my life.” I’m glad I’m listening to a meditation. Yeah, I’d be all into Jon Bon Jovi, you know. “It’s My Life.” One of my rules Lunalesca. Number Fifteen, I Take My Own Lumps. Lunalesca, you want to know what that means to me? Manhood, I suffer, fight, and love. Today, tomorrow, however many days I got left, I believe the epitome of manhood is fatherhood. The effing GOP? Or they want all women to be mothers and nothing more. It’s no secret I want a family. I’m paying $115.00 to ensure Virgil Vivi stays alive and well, $10.00 more in Braxton’s memory. I am taking care of business.

Remember the termite guy that “stole” that Bow from me during the inspection? Eff me! Anyway. So I, a thirty-eight-year-old man. I went and begged my “daddy” for compensation. And let’s not mention the lights, the water, the whole damn house! Lunalesca, I keep food on the table for V and me. There are the clothes on our backs, aren’t there, Lunalesca? I keep the car running. Not paid for, but it keeps going. I’m still alive. The Cherry Collision. and The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? Lunalesca? Veterinarians ain’t cheap, but a bit less than keeping myself healthy. A man provides, Lu. I got access to sexy things and what’s dangling between my legs. Yet Braxton was/is the best man ever. To B Thirty-Nine Virgil

811 Days Without B III, Day 252 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 294 ~Braxton Booked It, Virgil~

B found his escape. And while V isn’t my son, I’m not sending him into the unknown. That’s why he’s getting his vaccination today. So I’ll be reading his second vet bill. I’m worried about what I’m reading at the Day Job. “Braxton Booked It, Virgil.”

Friday, April 21, 2023

Saga 294 ~Braxton Booked It, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means AHEM, “Time Is On My Side.” Am I still dreaming, even at 10 AM?

I never dreamed that Braxton was dying that Friday, January 29, 2021. It always comes back to his death. Two novels, some poems, books about dead fur babies, and “chats.” But today, I’ll add a few more pages to Virgil Vivi’s medical history. If we’re lucky, we’ll come back singing “Die Another Day.” Tell the God of Death a thing or two, all “Game of Thrones” style. And why am I talking about people way more creative than me, Sophia? One more reason I’m not a billionaire right now. Or that Braxton didn’t see sixteen. Sophia, if I were a better writer, I would have been here with him. I would have noticed something was wrong. I’m sure my rage didn’t help that last week.

Well, my Indifference towards him anyway. Only I continue to feel such rage from Thursday. I’m only focused on myself, of course. A place I hate being at. And yet I can’t afford any trouble there. All the books I have, and yet I waste this existence at my Day Job. All because I would instead read and listen to the goings on yesterday’s Instagram. But a pink slip, ha. I have enough to worry about today; I was about to talk about a bank account over the health and well-being of Virgil. I need to keep a close eye on his paperwork, no doubt. More like I need to put one foot in front of the other. Thursday, I spoke of “The Long Walk.”

That’s something else I need to read, like The Green Mile, The Mist… Stephen King. Would Braxton be open to it? I know he wants me to get out of this bed and book it. And no. Not join him wherever he is. For real, though, I didn’t listen to Braxton when he was dying. And Virgil has so much more living to do. We’ll see what the veterinarian concludes. Lady Sophia, I am hoping for good news, always. One of the things that let me know I’m not a Republican. Because all I read of what they’re doing, I’ll say THAT SHIT IS WRONG! What do I know? I know I wouldn’t say I like reading my writing. And even Braxton Booked It, Virgil.

810 Days Without B III, Day 251 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will