Old enough to forget how to breathe. Too harsh? I should have forgotten at 17. Braxton didn’t forget at 15, but he stopped… And whose fault is that? Virgil is 4, and he wonders how I do it. And why I rushed into the rain. B Aware Reminded Virgil
Sunday, April 6, 2025
Meditation 279 ~B Aware Reminded Virgil~
To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… In case you have forgotten, these lights, the water, and the air keeping Virgil TOASTY isn’t yours.
But if you had your way, you’d forget how to breathe. Forty years, but you keep going at it. I forgot to stop too. So it’s not your fault. Only if it keeps raining as it has been for the past hour… FEAR is the strongest advocate for stopping making a mockery of your existence.
But Braxton must be remembered. And Virgil needs his father. He hasn’t gone running yet. Virgil hates the rain. You hate the backyard fence… in the rain. Backyard fence repair.
Yeah, that’s one more thing you haven’t erased from the phone as of yet. You have every reason to quit. I was saying yesterday, after all the pictures of Yabbos, what’s left? A list of failures. My Six Impossible Things:
- I WILL BE VIEWING Personal Assistant for My Dad’s Best Friend ― Kelli Wolfe
Completed - I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
Failed - I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
Failed - I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 003 No Fap) - I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
Failed - I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
Failed
Like father, like son. You and Braxton were both constantly looking for comfy spots. Ha! Braxton had his favorite girl. But today, you had no girl in particular. Yet B’s favorite girl. M Anime and Cherry are prominent in your gallery. Like you’d forget them.
However, I don’t need to ask why you’re so down today. Fearing the backyard fence… Sure. But you like the rain. It makes everything slow down. Reminds people of mortality.
Again, Braxton found his wings (a picture on the phone), you’re still breathing (unfortunately), and you’re wrapped up in blankets, shaking in fear. Effing fencing…
Braxton would be ashamed… Probably not. Braxton and Virgil, too, are better men than you. That’s why you rushed into the storm. Six Impossible Things:
- I WILL BE VIEWING Comfort After Pet Loss; Effectively Cope with… by Xydnee James
- I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
- I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
- I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
- I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
- I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
One to add is living without fear or, at the very least, “Be Not So Fearful.” Only this comes from a man who nearly creams for a girl at least a thousand miles away, a couple of models, and a ton of anime. Well, not anymore; you reduced the gallery to 300 or so this morning. All left are pictures of your sons, three pretty girls, anime, things that scare you, make you sad, or a smorgasbord of your mind. You need to see this type of stuff. What you need to do is forget all you know. Is there anything that should stay? Memories…
There’s a high school bench. Your First Time. Your son on your shoulder. But FEAR remains. B Aware Reminded Virgil.
1526 Days Without B III, Day 967 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will