Tale 192 ~Choice Language B, V~

How do you tell someone you love them? One day, “God Willing,” I’ll be sitting on a bench, holding Virgil when he is ancient, telling him I love him. I can’t tell myself that, but I always tell Braxton. And having a family? Choice Language B, V.

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Tale 192 ~Choice Language B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… How many times have I said those three little words? I love you, baby girl.

How about three more? Happy New Year! I’m sure I said that on the 1st, but when we chatted on the second. And since I’m traveling from the 5th, You should know? What? That my little boy Braxton is still gone? Virgil’s still scared? And no, that’s not me “trying” to be depressing. But that is what I want to talk to you about today. There’s a term for it… People call them “Love Languages.” I’d stick with “The Look of Love,” but my eyes. Yesterday, well, last Friday anyway, my eyes were all itchy. And the one time that song “Tonight I Wanna Cry” could have helped. I was in our bed suffering. Depressing. Trying to talk to you hasn’t been great. 1073 days.

I’m still counting. So, how many love languages are there. There are five that I’ve seen. And in “my” personal existence and business dealings, I’m particularly good at two. I adore physical touch. Hell! It’s the only thing that wipes my mind of everything, my love. It breaks me down to raw emotion. And not the worst ones, as usual. Him and I, ha. There I go, putting words in your mouth. That’s something else I talked about today. Yesterday? Friday? Time travel can be a trip sometimes. And I’m rushing today, my love. That leads me to receiving gifts at best. And taking care of you and our family at the bare minimum. I have mixed feelings about that.

But throwing money at family shouldn’t be all there is. The family needs more. Your everything. They deserve it. And “that’s why I’m starting with me.” At least for today. Hell! I sound like Donald Trump… Eww! Or should I continue as Michael Jackson sings. “I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love.” Most days, I blame my boys, Braxton and Virgil, for my lack of communication. With well… existence, life, whatever. Grieving? My love, I need to find another way. I might never achieve being everything, okay? Tobias from Divergent wanted to try being brave, selfless, intelligent, honest, and kind. Hmm. I want words, time, touch, actions, and gifts to give. I love you, the kids, my furry boys. Myself, maybe someday huh? Choice Language B, V

1073 Days Without B III, Day 514 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 185 ~They’ll B Firsts Virgil~

Feels like the first time? It was love at first sight. Or should I go all “Like A Virgin?” To be honest, I’m more for die another day… It would be a first if I was ever successful with … anything. I raised a good son once. “They’ll B Firsts Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Tale 185 ~They’ll B Firsts Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But when was the first time I felt it that it fell from my lips?

When was the first time I pulled an Akon? What I mean is (thank you, Miss Critic) is, when did the song I Wanna “F” you turn into, I Wanna Love You? I can walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. Ha-Ha! “This Is Us,” this is “Life Itself.” But there is B III.

Or not… Am I not falling into the doom and gloom on Day 2 of the new year? I’m trying.

But I’m still counting Day 1066. I can’t tell you about Day 1. The day I met my firstborn in 2005, sometime in April. Are you sick of my pop culture references? Ask the critic. Only today, or rather yesterday. I didn’t know how to feel. I still don’t know.

On Monday, all I felt was tired. A bit like now as I laid off the energy shot. There’s still time. There’s still first. But it’s incredible how you can remember some so vividly. The others… I can’t tell you about my first time making love… What was it I said about Akon. “My Love.” I was hot, horny, and in a hurry. It was more get your freak on, if anything. I know some things got better. Not the grief of losing Braxton. But being with a girl… um, you? What about the first time I fell in love? The first time I thought such a thing. Oh My Love. How about crushes? Tram-Anh Tran, AKA Tina Nguyen from Ghostwriter. Between her and Toonami, it was all about Asian culture. Then, either Elizabeth Hurley, Lynda Carter, or Carrie Fisher, it was all brunettes and/or dark hair. Mostly… But like Captain America probably told Peggy Carter, “I can do this all day” or night. Whatever

Uh, I didn’t write down what I felt after losing my son that first day. But I know the truth.

Grief, Sadness, as the song goes, Feeling super, super, super suicidal. But I stayed here—fate, destiny, who knows, my love. But I stayed because I would feel something else. Love! “I wanna be livin’ for the love of you.” I won’t lose that. It won’t be a first. Never.

But every day. With my first breath, I ask why, worry, and wonder. Our love first. They’ll B Firsts Virgil

1066 Days Without B III, Day 507 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 178 ~To B Moody Virgil~

Every day, I get asked, by a computer, mind you, what my mood is like. I’m always worried about something. Being thirty-nine… something always hurts. And since comedy comes in threes. I don’t know. It’s the day after Christmas. So, To B Moody Virgil.

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Tale 178 ~To B Moody Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… If you didn’t believe me, you would have left already. Or is it the fans?

I’m sure I’ve sang to you before, “I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.” Can you even hear me over all of the fans? What about my boy? Every hair, tear, and speck of dust over what, 1059 Days? It’s all gone “Bye Bye Love,” life, and even a specific type of lunacy. B. But that’s not true at all. Even with this being the day after Christmas. Presents? December 25 was something to remember? Well, seeing as how I’m time-traveling here, my love. I can still call you that, right? I have your love, our family. Lives that do concern me. And I’m still writing, wailing, and waiting for my son. But I don’t blame Santa Claus.
This is all my doing, love.

What? Being in a mood? And I won’t treat you like the computer and say, Worried, Pained. And the third thing is always a toss-up. I need more than Discombobulated. Unfortunately, the only word I can think of that is better itself starts with a D. I would never include you or the children. Am I including V in that? Right now, no. So AHEM, “I am The Walking Dead.” And like any zombie, I am up and about without purpose other than to make the living miserable. My friends, enemies, everyone else… And this Christmas, I give you another; I’m sorry, and you give me forgiveness. Sucks! Now that is a mood. Just like tired, scared, horny, sad, lonely, stupid, mad, effed, insane, dead…

And the only gift in a box I wanted, I gave myself. And it doesn’t even have my name, love. Braxton. Do I want to make myself out to be Pandora? I’ve been looking at Braxton’s “grave” more and more because of what rests under the drawer beneath it. Hope? Peace? Christmas is the time for that, playing the STUPIDEST Stevie Wonder tunnage “Someday At Christmas.” But lover, this is the day after, meaning it’s time to return to normal. Tuesday, yeah, right! I can still hear the fans blowing. And even with them, I can hear how I’m letting down my family. “Give love on Christmas day. No greater gift is there than love.” To be in the mood, but… To B Moody Virgil.

1059 Days Without B III, Day 500 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 171 ~Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B~

There’s paperwork around here saying when 2V lost his balls. And a few days ago, I had a floor beneath my feet. You know what those things have in common. Hmm? I’m not looking up either one. Because I’m no kind of man. Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

Tale 171 ~Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… but I’m not a repairman, a janitor, or a groundskeeper. A friend, a father, F…er

As in, “Feel like makin’ love to you.” No, my love. If I had to sum up how I’m feeling… Creep would have to be the word. Hell! I feel like my boys at this particular moment. I mean, dead and with no balls. Braxton and Virgil, respectively. How is it I would choose the life of a dog? At the same time, both of them are better men than me. What is a man?

How To Be A Man
How To Be The Man
What Makes A Monster And What Makes A Man
What Makes A Good Man
I Would Fall In Love With A Dead Man (I Misheard)

I hope you heard me right that I misheard that last one from “The Matrix” My Trinity and I’m Neo…

Oh No, my love! I’m no one. Or at least that’s what I wish I could say. If I had my way, I would never say anything again. I would have died right there beside my firstborn son, 1052 days ago. “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” Hell! I never left. Existence has been putting one foot in front of the other. And my first step. You know, “towards the grave, you know the box awaits its grisly load.” And as for the other shoe to drop, well… look at the damn floor. It’s not like I need to worry about the critic today, my love. There are bigger fish to fry. It’s funny that this all started with a flood.

I don’t know if Virgil can swim. And you know I can’t. Yet somehow, I survived the tears that came with Braxton’s death. And as for my own? Not yet, I “Woke Up This Morning.” And again, I’m late taking Virgil outside. So what? He can stand in the yard, doing his best impression of a zombie, tombstone, or a mess. Yes, look at the floor, my love. A man provides. And “unconditional love’s for women, children, and dogs.” I’m still 39, my love. No! I was 36 when Little B died. I can’t return to 0, and I’m not looking at 40. Love, a man chooses, a slave obeys. I’m not a man or slave. I am The Walking Dead. Virgil’s Questionable Manhood B

1052 Days Without B III, Day 493 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 164 ~They’ll B Air Virgil~

Follow Your Nose? Do I look like Toucan Sam? And I intend to be a man of leisure, not some random mouth breather. So, I write books? Nope! All the huffing and puffing I do. Women, work, worrying about the house’s mildew scent. “They’ll B Air Virgil.”

Tuesday, December 12, 2023,

Tale 164 ~They’ll B Air Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… Even when we’re on the beach. And I’m still here typing away—my favorite dream.

Sigh… Is that of relief? Regret? Or do I want to rant? It’s a relief that I no longer have the old Day Job. That same breath I used to call out to Braxton whenever I returned. “Just me, Baby B, I would say.” I’ve been holding it lately, but not because of you or Virgil. Baby Doll, it’s been hard. I keep saying that I know. It’s been 1045 days and counting. And I still can’t describe Braxton’s scent when he cuddled beside me. I miss it like crazy. Now there’s only mold and mildew, and I need to spend a lot more money on diapers… Or teach Virgil that he has to go outside for a reason. I’m glad I’m better at business.

Open mouth and insert foot, right? I’ve never been one for talking love. My personality. Cult of Personality. I’ll sing all day long. I’ve even found myself singing to Virgil from time to time. And then there’s playing with our kids, teaching, reading before bedtime. And what do we do after the children are put to bed… Sometimes, “It Seems Like You’re Ready.” Uh, all of the time because… well… You want to know that I’m still breathing. Or at least it seems like I want to. I have your love and the memory of my firstborn son, my love. I have things to keep me breathing. That’s not the question. It’s going about it. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not that simple, Baby Girl.

This is probably why I do my best Jay Sherman impression and become the most critical critic of my existence. It stinks. I so need to learn to shut up. Don’t waste my breath. Ha! But I won’t turn to cigarettes or, as Todd would say, the “Devil’s Lettuce.” And while I’m on the subject of Eric Vall’s characters. There’s Grayson Price and his thing for vanilla perfume. Your scent can be intoxicating, my dear. Only I should go out and buy some air fresheners for the house, with all the trouble. The smell of cash. “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

I need to take a deep breath and be thankful for it. I’m always trying, my love. Breathing’s the hardest thing? They’ll B Air Virgil?

1045 Days Without B III, Day 486 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 157 ~Virgil’s Growing Up Braxton~

I’ve never been blessed with growing things. Well, weeds… the fence is falling, so I had to cut the grass. There was/is Braxton. B’s been fifteen for a couple of years. Mold? Yeah, from the flooding house. Uh, Virgil Vivi? Virgil’s Growing Up Braxton

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

Tale 157 ~Virgil’s Growing Up Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… more and more each day. How Your beauty grows with each new day, my love.

I hope I don’t sound shallow, but I mean it. The children you… uh, we have brought into this world. You know how people are these days. But I feel I had a hand in it with “pouring the Bisquick.” I was talking to someone about that yesterday. Madam Justice. Love, you grow during this time of year. Uh, the holidays? My love, I do mean lovelier as you put the ornaments up. And you help our kids with them. All the lights on our trees. And am I going to make you put the lights up alone? I’m not that kind of husband, ha. “You’re my angel.” But I’m not ready to see you in Heaven. Promised you Heaven but put you through Hell…

Yes, my love, you could tell where I was going with this. Can you believe I’ve kept Braxton Barks out of this until now? I go back to when I would tell him as Caesar told his son Cornelius. One day, you will be as tall as a king. He was looking down at me every morning. I lived to serve. As his father, my love for him gave me the strength “To Be A Man.” I’ve been thinking a lot about that, with everything happening these days, my love. I remember my Ma telling me I could sit on my behind with unconditional love. “Unconditional love’s for women, children, and dogs.” And I’m approaching forty. I hate saying thirty-nine. But to be forty, love?

Virgil is only three. Braxton was/is fifteen. I have all our children to watch grow up into good people. I know I’ve been all about the music today. Um, Monday, December 4, 2023, because businesses won’t run themselves… And how I grew this one. Well, you can ask Madam Justice. Anyway, regarding our children, ahem, “I hope they’re not like me. I hope they understand.” Because their Daddy never grew up. I am trying, my love, every single day. Oh, you know I can grow big enough for you… I’m trying to be funny now. I swear, love. I can grow mold. The house flooded. I grow impatient with Virgil. And all that I fear. The son I still mourn. Rise! Virgil’s Growing Up Braxton

1038 Days Without B III, Day 479 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 211 ~Say The Word Willie~

What’s the good word? I’m serious, give me just one, but you know something, nevermind. I refuse to be “that guy,” so I simply don’t say anything but then again, here we are. Paranoia, Guilt, Anxiety, Depression, Say The Word Willie, mind if I search

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Gospel 211 ~Say The Word Willie~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m allowed to have a big mouth. Hell, this entire week has been a wake-up call that I have nothing, nothing, nothing, um, sorry Whitney. I would be much better off going and watching Whitney Wright Prom Night. There lies the problem Dirty Diana one of several. At the core lies the fact that I haven’t been fapping in… wow, has it been thirty days? I might be impressed with myself if I wasn’t so fucked up. No, my dear, not with drugs, alcohol, or even love. Words.

Shakespeare asked the question, “what’s in a name?” In this day and age, everything. I’ve gone from wanting to be as infamous as the Marquis De Sade one day to what exactly? Either some delusions of grandeur with my paranoia. Perhaps I’ve been right all along, sadly. Fuck, it’s not like I’m Pornhub or XVideos, and I’ve been hearing a lot about them lately. To be honest, I was upset that they wiped Pornhub clean. No, not like that. I had plenty of shit I wanted to take. XVideos ain’t any safer, to be sure, and I figured I’d made mistakes. Republican Tendencies, like the former President. Did I ever mention I have Russian ties or know something about Ukraine? Already you can pick out which words get you flagged. You can pick one to end you. What was mine?

It depends on how much I want you to hate me. As I said, I can pick a name, Whitney, Hannah, Alissa. Why not Tifa, Aerith, Judy, Panam. I guess you can tell where I’ve been spending my time. Not porn… well, not really, my collections and Youtube, oh yeah, Marz. Delete, Deletion, Recycle Bin, Erase, for fuck sake, I’ve been imagining destroying every device in the house. Well, short of the phone. Would that be enough? I only need to look at my library, both my writings and others. Didn’t I say I’m reading Succubus Lord 8? Once again, another week of not being sexy because I don’t feel it. I have a hard-on like you wouldn’t believe, so what would that make me? A pervert, a creep, I can think of much worse, you know why, Dirty Diana?

GUILT!!! With eyes wide open and what can I do now but keep breathing. It ain’t another day anymore. It’s Breathing. Say The Word Willie.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 204 ~Will Looks Past Tit~

Usually, I don’t understand why I sleep so much… well, other than being a lazy ass. I never cherished every FREE breath, more like I was looking at boobs. Now the only legs I worry about are mine running. Wil Looks Past Tit, but not anyone else would

Thursday, January 21, 2021

Gospel 204 ~Will Looks Past Tit~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but would that be enough to buy a Presidential Pardon. Oh, right, we have the new guy whose wife I haven’t seen naked. Uh, a daughter I haven’t thought about while “choking the bishop’. Speaking of nocturnal emissions and music to my ears, I can’t say I’ve been doing much of either, well this week.

Now, sure, I spent twenty minutes “getting it up” to wake up. Still, I’m not in a “Love Me Sexy” mood. I’ve found the only thing that gets me going more than sex is fear. Of what, you may ask?

That I still cannot say but all this week, let’s say I found the motivation. Now I won’t lie to you, Dirty Diana, I’m a nice guy… Ha. I suppose it’s KARMA that I’ve sent women running. Hell, I’ve taken off myself plenty. Only now, it’s like I’m sprinting uncontrollably. You should see me at the Day Job, for example. Everyone disappeared for a bit, which is okay with me, usually. Anyway, with no one around, I expected any minute to see the boys in blue. I hear there’s someone on the phone, and I imagine it’s them making arrangements. I set my watch thinking like something out of Baker Street; Just one more “hour,” and then you’d be happy. I’m never happy, though. As much as I’m for PDQ, Dogging, and full-on Exhibition, it’s this (sigh) PARANOIA that is fucking me up. Can’t relax.

I can’t even talk to Indiana Gone about it… “she won’t love me anymore.” People have been talking about The Big Lie this week. In “The Road,” Viggo Mortensen spoke about “The Great Fear.” Yes, I know it’s a book, and that’s another thing, I’m reading Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord 7.” Anyway, what will I call my crime? Something to the tune of The Mass Shame, an original title. How about V For Vendetta, The “Hmm-Hmm” Inconvenience. The first one is a movie, of course, and the second is my favorite but even using the real word reveals too much. Isn’t that saying something? I never had a problem coming up to the line, stepping towards the edge, staring into the abyss. I will bend the rules, even break them, but what happened last week…

Am I so desperate to be a wanted man? AM I!!! Will Looks Past Tit

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 197 ~Will Becomes A Dictator~

Dictator’s minds are all over the place, and while I’m not taking over the world, I’ve been flipping over so many pretty girls lately. Why can’t I make a decision, I ask you? “Will Becomes A Dictator” cause I want’em all, those “Girls, Girls, Girls.”

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Gospel 197 ~Will Becomes A Dictator~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still say loud and proud Fuck Donald Trump FDT. He ain’t near my type, though. I’d cum all over Ivanka but not so much Melania. Tomi Lahren and Kayleigh McEnany, are also on my “Do Me” list. Republicans… Now I believe I should apologize if I sound a bit like an asshole, crass, perverted. It’s been a long, hard, fucking twenty days of NO FAP, so get used to me saying fuck a lot. I await what Grammarly will think. It’s why I would make a good Dictator.

Well, decisions, decisions, I either make poor ones or none at all, For example, Black or White. I guess I am becoming a republican as I love me a white woman. At the same time Lacey Duvalle, Jenna Foxx, Cassidy Banks. Ask me about the hard call; where’s my dick been? Besides choosing between blondes and brunettes. Don’t get me started on other colors. Every morning I’ve been edging away to a bikini beach babe.

On the other hand, I always figured I’d end up fucking away what’s left of my life with a brunette, actually. Since I’m an old man, and all, how about choosing between MILF’s and schoolgirls (legal age). You know, in life, I have fucked around with plenty of MILF’s that no longer talk to me. It’s like General Hospital Olivia Falconeri or Kristina Corinthos-Davis SIGH.

Of course, this was before I wanted to do unspeakable things to Molly Lansing-Davis. Haley Pullos, “the perfect woman… the Goddess.” Or (drool) Christina Marie Masterson? Um, I could be a fucking fanboy chasing “Lily” from AT&T, Milana Vayntrub. Interestingly enough, when it comes down to the woman I want to marry, you only need to look at my last novel. Win William Bridgman married a woman inspired by (drumroll) Sabrina Nichole. Need I say more, like get Alycia Debnam-Carey to fuck me then marry.

As you can see, my mind has been all over the place that I can’t decide what to talk about. There’s Tifa Lockhart vs. Aerith Gainsborough. You know Vanilla sex in comparison to BDSM or my personal favorites. I wanted to bring up big tits vs. small. Fuck I can only be as decisive as I was this morning. I love Boobs. Feet still gross me out. So me becoming worthwhile… Will Becomes A Dictator.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 190 ~Mounting Vague Assumptions Will~

Well, I saw some “adult situations.” But Trump ain’t much of a man. Am I? A new year and let’s just say that the Capitol got all sorts of F’s for failure and something else. At least Biden got certified, but my future. Mounting Vague Assumptions Will

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Gospel 190 ~Mounting Vague Assumptions Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but still, I wouldn’t be getting fucked as much as the Capitol, right? I would have said something, but I spoke damn early. That’s how I am right now. Oh, the tiniest thing will get me off. Or the biggest (boobs), even the tightest, hmm.

Mounting up upon a New Year or not? Take, for example, the books I’ve been reading. I finished “The Island,” which had nothing but a kiss. Chris Dietzel’s “A Different Alchemy” won’t be a tremendous orgy. Amazon recommended “Breasteses” this morning as if worried ha. Mound in my sweatpants and everything, but I wanted to talk to you. Okay, I’m lying. If the internet was working correctly, I would be stealing Love Wolf Vids from Xvideos. The next big thing with my monster. Creatures and girls. Is that my new fetish? I mean, um, tentacles. Mouthful of wrong, Dirty Diana? I’m looking at demons and things from horror stories. I should get back to reading about Succubi. If it’s not that, I’ve been into blondes lately. Kenna James in Peeping Tom, Madison Minx in Kiss This. Forgetting Milf Dos, Cherry…

Vagrants in my Spank Bank. Of course, as the song goes, “pretty, pretty girls.” Wasn’t I crowing yesterday about finding that blonde from Pinterest? I still got no luck finding the rest of her collection. Not the time for love, but someday, a girl will give me a clean slate. “Vagabonds believe the very best,” don’t we, to sing a song. Focus on the words coming out of my lips, not the lips I want to sink my cock into. As I said, Pinterest sees it, and with all these fights around us, SIGH. Um, I said what to M. Anime last night in wanting? “Vagina” pussy, my as well scream it out as if I were Peggy Hill. One anime character I don’t want to fuck. Hell, that will keep me grounded for a few minutes more. Yes, and the thought of feet. I’ll never get that fetish ever.

Asshole, some people will call me, but I’ve heard worse. Do you want to know a secret, Dirty Diana? Never been in one, well, not my dick anyway. This month, something to shoot for if I’m keeping up with my New Year’s Resolutions these days. Already spending my stimulus surviving. Sex… MOUnting VAGue ASSumptions Will.

I Will Have No Fear