Tag: Best Friend

Saga 199 ~Find Pains Greater Than Fear~

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Braxton is the word of God. As Christians say, God is Love. God to Dog. Easy mistake. Now FEAR and PAIN… I’ve claimed fear’s a great pain, next to losing B, the greatest. There’s Blue Balls, my “father, stupidity, and the GOP. Find Pains Greater Than Fear

Monday, January 16, 2023

Saga 199 ~Find Pains Greater Than Fear~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I shouldn’t fear a damn thing. Honestly, there’s always… well, don’t need the cops knocking.

I don’t fear death. I wonder if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. did. His birthday was yesterday and today’s his day… Hell! I wish I could say I looked into him first thing. Nope! Braxton. After that came porn. Then there was The Last of Us. Finally, Dr. King. He had much to fear. Fear is a great pain; I’m sorry, Grammarly and Hemmingway, for my lack of IQ. STUPIDITY! Next to the pain of my son’s passing/murder… Being Stupid is What Hurts The Most. It’s what leads me to read every single day. Or why I feel so “proud” watching The Last of Us and being all, “I understood that reference.” But nearly every waking moment Madam like the song goes, “I feel stupid!”

And to avoid it, I sleep only to feel worse after, for having to face the day. The time wasted. If you asked me what I wanted to do today, well, besides everything I’ve done since four in the morning. Well, starting with this conversation that we’re having. Fearing existence. There’s wanting to organize everything that’s piling up that I never get done. Lazy Ass! There’s also a book review I want to do… Things that keep me up, Madam. My Braxton, worrying things are breaking down. And some girls’ boobs. If only every book were written by a girl with a set of melons I’ve “almost” seen. But I won’t. But I’m not sleeping.

It’s a pain. But, yes, a fear as well, right?

Blue Balls keep me awake as well. I keep thinking, any minute now. I’m going to explode all over the place. If you saw what broke me from a 161-day streak mourning my B III.

A greater pain is what is about to happen a little less than an hour from now. I swear, dealing with people. At least this time, it isn’t my fault Madam. The pain my father brings. Isn’t it ironic? He is the one that not only brings pain but the very spirit of fear. But B? Braxton made me braver than I could ever know. But a pain far worse than my father could dare to dream. Then again, being brought to this existence? Fear? Find Pains Greater Than Fear.

715 Days Without B III, Day 156 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

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I haven’t had time to talk to 2V about stuff. Well, cheering when 2V runs up the stairs. But there is one talk we won’t need to have. One because he’s not Braxton, aka my son. Meanie! And two talk about not having the balls… “Virgil’s, Birds and B’s”

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Saga 197 ~Virgil’s, Birds and B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even if I wasn’t, if Virgil Vivi needed something, um… health-wise. I like to think…

Well, actually, I don’t… like to think. One more reason I would become a Republican. Unfortunately, Lady Lunalesca, I have a brain. I know because my Mind Playing Tricks On Me. I know B III is still gone, and yet… I know. I continue to believe He Lives In You. Yes, it’s always the music. If anything, be grateful. I’m up around noon. That’s how bad this week was. Or was it I’m weak, period? Tell that to my Day Job and all the nightmares. This is one more reason I’m speaking to you so late. Yet again, I could be a lazy ass (sigh). But this brain never lets me forget. It was Times Like These that killed my son. I killed my son.

And now I see a pillow where his bed once was. But V said he wanted up in bed instead. Hell! At least he knows what it’s good for. Oh, do I need to spend more time jerking off? I have kept my word thus far, Lunalesca. No “releasing” during B III’s month, right? Lunalesca, there’s also the new toy I want to buy, but of course, the car, the community, and the coming days. Which should be spent on my son. I do mean Braxton and not Virgil, Lu. I’m being a meanie. Braxton has balls, and Virgil doesn’t. I keep comparing the two. Lunalesca, you know what I mean. I had to give Braxton the talk about the birds and the bees. Virgil…

You ask me why I’m so tired. I’m trying to train Virgil. Not like B III and I did that. Inevitably it was all about “B, can you not paw away at Carolina Bound’s cleavage?” There was, “Hey B, can you stop humping your toy in front of her, please?” Well, she’s seen worse. Remember that video I showed Carolina? Talk about trust in humanity. These days the last thing we need is more people. But I wish I could have a puppy from Braxton’s bloodline. I read about a family that got a fur baby from the same line as their lost one. And reading Cherry’s book and a review. What You Won’t Do for Love… No! But ta-tas. Hopeless. Virgil’s, Birds and B’s

713 Days Without B III, Day 154 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 196 ~Tales To B, Virgil~

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Everything from getting out of bed to getting in is me following someone. Well, since I got 2V 153 days ago. Everyone has a tail, tale, or tell. And my story, um… I would rather not say. Yet I’m here and want to publish someday. “Tales To B, Virgil”

Friday, January 13, 2023

Saga 196 ~Tales To B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I really want it to be from books and boobs, all from a warm bed.

Bedroom Soapbox, I call it. But that’s not teaching V to walk anytime soon. I swear, before I can start sharing secrets with him, I’ll have to teach him how to run away from me. Today is Friday the 13th and all. Yeah, Lady Sophia, I’m worse than Jason… funny. Braxton Barks and I would watch movies together. Though I’ve said plenty. It was best when we invited his Aunt Carolina Bound. With her “pillows,” uh, no room for nightmares. But that’s where we’re headed, isn’t it? No wonder I’m trying so hard writing stories. Sophia, I’m all about jokes today. Virgil has written more with his nails scratching up the floor. But he did manage to climb the stairs all the way yesterday. Woo-hoo!

It’s still way too early for my taste. So that reminds me, buy more energy drinks after this week. Not that this week is anything to write about. But then again, there’s Virgil, I know. For the most part, I’ve been right behind him, getting him upstairs or simply walking. But a few days ago, I was on the verge of sending him to the grave from the backyard stairs the other day. That would have been something. How I murdered a fur baby again. Then there’s Braxton. Every day we move closer to the day. Two years… his passing. Lady Sophia, at least I made sure to get the day off. I can be a man of my word… Whatever will I do, hmm?

What? With the day or my word? At the end of the day, come the 31st, it’ll look like last year. I should watch dog movies and eat barbecue or get Braxton’s favorites. And where will Virgil be during all of this? He needs to learn Braxton’s story. Well other than to leave his bed alone. He can smell death… I need more stuff for Braxton, memorial trinkets, and books but Virgil? Hell! It’s not his ass I’ve been worried about. Again the backyard tumble. I apologize. I’m trying to keep my word too, and with all the Hentai I’ve been downloading… I’m more of a breast man, but some fine-ass girls. This morning? So V’s in B’s room. Not sharing, Tales To B, Virgil.

712 Days Without B III, Day 153 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 192 ~Sleep, Is The New Broke~

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How do I fix my wallet, want to be awake, and make myself worthwhile to my son? Work? Well, not my Day Job. But to write? Only I spend all my time sleeping, so the bed must be broken. How’s this for motivation? “Sleep Is The New Broke”

Monday, January 9, 2023

Saga 192 ~Sleep, Is The New Broke~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… and the first thing I’ll buy… if they can’t bring Braxton back from the ashes. A bed.

I know exactly where I got this rule from. It’s from one of Eric Thomas’s motivational speeches. And that’s what I should be talking about, but Wednesday, January 4, 2023. Madam, I can’t get the humiliation off my mind. Talk about having a big head. We’ll get to that, but you know what I mean today, Thursday, January 5, 2023. I didn’t want to wake up. I stay woke, but that’s because I feel such hatred, I’m horny, and he’s by my side, Little V. It’s hard to do anything STUPID when you have a fur baby. But dying, Madam? Yeah, the feelings aren’t going away. If I don’t die in this bed… It will break underneath me sometime soon. The way I’ve been sleeping.

Only sleeping? Don’t get your hopes up, Madam. The only play being done in this bed is Virgil running around. There are also several games not “Pictures on My Phone.” Wheeler Walker Jr, thank you very much. I got to talk to M Anime, and then there’s Cherry’s new book. Think of all the books I read if they were physical and not Kindle. There’s also the fact that I have all these conversations in the center of the bed. And when I’m done, it’s right back to sleep, despite how I say I’m getting things done. 4:00 AM, earlier? Then there’s the screaming, crying, and smashing my head against a pillow. No wonder Virgil tries to take it from me. Fur babies, boobies, balls.

Well, I only got two of those. And I do mean balls. I’m still not sure about V and boobies. I’ve mentioned how horny I’ve been, which again brings to mind chatting up the ladies. Now I won’t be breaking the bed anytime soon, bouncing. But I may be breaking my wallet at some point. And with how I’ve been behaving at the Day Job, cutting out early this week. I mean 5th and the 3rd. What? I don’t want the money. It’s Humiliations Galore. I can’t take it, Madam. But if I could stay awake? Hell! I planned on seeing M3GAN this week, and then there’s The Last of Us. I’m broke in more ways than one, Madam. But Sleep Is The New Broke

708 Days Without B III, Day 149 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

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I’m no knight in shining armor. My mettle hasn’t been tested in comparison to others. The house is covered in the fur of both the quick and the dead. Then there’s the hoody I wear every day. Because I always look chill… Virgin’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Saga 190 ~Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means Braxton’s still alive. Don’t I wish? More for him than the money Lady Lunalesca.

I swear I would have gone full Repo Men on his ass. A suit of armor, new organs, and a cache of weapons to protect him. If you’re asking what’s this about, I watched “M3GAN.” Is it just me, or have the last couple of movies I’ve seen brought me to tears at some point? “M3GAN,” “Avatar: The Way of Water,” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever?” “The Menu” only made me hungry. This brings me to my point. How does one buy food? Um, money Lu. STUPID question, I know. But short of my son, as the song goes, “Dollar dollar bill, y’all” has been on my mind. And what about Virgil and me? It’s getting pretty cold out. And if I thought summer was Hell…

At least Virgil’s fur coat will serve him well. But a friend says he needs a coat too. What about his own bed, bowl, and biscuit treats? Oh, he’s not eating any from B’s memorial. But it didn’t stop me from buying the same type Triple B would snack on. And this month is supposed to be about B III, shouldn’t it? How to honor his second year Lu. My power, protector, and pain. Hell! I haven’t asked for any time off yet, Lady Lunalesca. I remember the year before. I had a will of steel and an iron will when honoring my Little B. Now the only heavy metal I’m carrying… Where do you think I’ve been all morning? Lady Lunalesca, beginning like this?

A brand new year. And all I want to do is be as warm as V. All cozy in bed, not doing jack shit. But, um, jacking. You know what I want to say, but that’s for Inspector Echo, okay? Again there’s the money problem. Besides everything to continue Virgil’s and I’s existence… Braxton deserves something set in stone. A statue, ink across my flesh. And there’s been those SILVERCUT necklaces I’ve been eyeing forever. Well, two years for B. And finally, there’s my courage. I’ve failed my son and New Year’s Resolutions, oh no. That’s my existence. One big, OH NO. And to drag another fur baby into this mess after what happened to the last one. My idiocy’s spreading. Virgil’s Fur, Braxton’s Mettle

706 Days Without B III, Day 147 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 189 ~Virgil Forgets To B…~

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I forget what it’s like to get a good night’s sleep. Or what it takes to be a good Dad. Can’t ever remember what it’s like not to have a Day Job I don’t hate. As far as being happy… I’d like to write about B being as such. “Virgil Forgets To B…”

Friday, January 6, 2023

Saga 189 ~Virgil Forgets To B…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I guess in such “happiness,” I forget how I made it… Writing, women’s bodies, wisdom…

First and foremost, Lady Sophia. AHEM! I’m never HAPPY. I believe Braxton is here. There are times I do believe in a higher power. As for conspiracies… I’m convinced the wealthy have some cabal and control the world. Hell! I suppose one can learn Necromancy. Can I possibly believe I can keep my dick in my pants for 161 days again? Uh, I am trying. But as for me being HAPPY? The song goes, “I believe in a thing called love.” Still, a thing such as happiness. Like the word, rehabilitated… a made-up word, a politician’s word. And on that note, January 6 Insurrection. Apocalypse Buddy Braxton lived. Impossible to forget my son Lady Sophia. Even he didn’t make me happy, though. Bad-Ass, Brave, Better…

That’s how I feel right now. Of course, “better” can mean a lot of things. Only what comes to mind right now is forgetfulness. When I’m better, I forget all the bad stuff and good… Well, not really. But the fact that I wanted to talk to you today. Yeah, first, the 3-hour Day Job. The feeling of leaving that shithole. See, Trump, that’s how you say it. Only then, there’s forgetting a bottle of water and the work shirt I carry. Not huge losses Sophia. Dammit to Hell, though; I hate being forgetful. Yet my Braxton always performed that… What? Miracle? He would make me forget what this world makes me. For him being… Daddy, that was all that is/was required of me, Sophia.

And I’m a bastard for saying this, but Virgil forgot to be… Braxton. Reincarnation failure. Aren’t I supposed to be feeling better today? As I said, I got away from the Day Job super early. I have most of the day to catch up with everything. Tuesday, January 3, 2023. Sophia, I checked my work schedule, and next week isn’t looking too good. No time to write at all. As if I were going to anyway. I’m like V, failing tasks I or others wrote down. I forgot to save my son. Yet feel some way about water and workwear. Sort of. But I’m better all warm in bed. While Virgil lies here cuddling/sleeping but it’s not the same as Braxton… Virgil Forgets To B…

705 Days Without B III, Day 146 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 185 ~Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness~

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The second day of the new year, and am I comfortable yet? I wish I could have that day when I scooped B up, told him to shush, and fell asleep. He was dying, and I wasn’t being polite… ignoring him. Such a lesson. Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness.

Monday, January 2, 2023

Saga 185 ~Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means a lot more comfort and surely much less politeness. That might make a good resolution.

I’m speaking to you from a year ago, Madam. Saturday, December 31, 2022, being precise. And much like right this moment, as the song goes, “there is no love here, and there is no pain.” The Day Job? The indifference that led to the death of my son. One thing remains. But this week Madam. Hell! Today, yesterday, the day before? Whatever song gets picked. I’ve gone from “He’s My Son” to “Am I A Psycho.” There’s “The Way,” “Every Day Is Exactly The Same,” and “Enormous Penis.” Um, ok, that would be… uh, uncomfortable. First off, my continuing to exist makes me pretty damn uncomfortable. A terrible sign for the beginning of the year. Only what, Madam, “Put On A Happy Face.” My resolution?

It begins with the truth. The Man in the Mirror is never comfortable. Unless he and I agree… “we pretend that we’re dead.” I only took a short nap today and spoke to Lunalesca and Braxton. Anyway, back to my resolution. It’s not “I’m Here”; it’s “I’m waiting to see who will piss me off.” That’s my new phrase for the Day Job. Politeness? Again that quickly fell to indifference which killed my kid. Then there’s Virgil (sigh). But the thing is, B III is still here. And while I can’t say I’ll speak comforting memories, I’ll speak “B.” And while there is no way I’ll keep this promise as long as I’m talking. I’ll be “me” like I was with him. Always and forever…

Well, minus the porn, as you can see. Bible Black? I can do so much worse, Madam. Today I unsubscribed from a girl on OnlyFans for… fart jokes, eww. But I hope I haven’t fallen back into jerking off so soon, especially this month. The Zoe Colletti, Tifa Lockhart pain… I want to publish a book this year. Which will be one of the polite ones. Yet you know there are plenty that aren’t so much. What to do with them? Get uncomfortable and work; that’s the big thing. I try to be so polite to others. And then I’m more so to myself, Madam. Holding back everything seems so damn polite. But if I want any real comfort here… Comfort’s Not Limited To Politeness.

701 Days Without B III, Day 142 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

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Last day of the year, and I am six inches more or less (snickers) from falling back asleep. And there is so much to do today. 1st of Tha Month and year tomorrow. Get busy living or dying… Hell! I merely exist, and what about 2V? A Busy B Virgil.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

Saga 183 ~A Busy B Virgil…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be sitting on my ass exploiting somebody, Lunalesca. Well, on my ass…

But I am far from taking advantage of anyone. I’m too busy for even that today. Well, that would be a first. And that’s what’s keeping me busy. Preparing for the “1st of The Month.” Well, the first of the year. Besides bursting into tears, Lunalesca, what am I thinking? Today it’s more like what I’m trying not to imagine, and no, not “pornographic passions.” Hell! I had to put the phone down because if I saw one more person who had a great year. If anything, I wasted another year of existence. And I never asked for this Lunalesca. Today though, there are decisions to make, like what will be the first book, the first bop, and the first bill of a new year.

This will be the second year without B III. And bring on the waterworks Lunalesca. Existing in this place; existing in his place. And speaking of which, where’s Virgil now? Back on his pillow. And I wonder how he will do with all the noise that they’ll be tonight. That’s another thing. While Braxton was/is my best friend, and Virgil Vivi… well, as I say at the Day Job, usually, “I’m Here.” Like the song plays, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” Virgil, like B, has no stepmom. Did I mention no porno, though there is a dryer here? Ha-ha! And for Virgil to protect his siblings. Well, I’d have to acknowledge him first, Lu. A mistake to give a heart to anyone or anything.

But do I regret doing that for B? I regretted everything in 2021, for sure. And what about this year, 2022? Fuck! On Friday, I bought a pack of all-lime Skittles. New glasses, hmm. Well, the business of a new year because I may have resolutions Sunday. No promises. Now I can’t tell you what the first book will be, though I’m leaning toward more novels on mourning fur babies. At least for the first one, Lady Lunalesca. Remembering Braxton? What will be the first song? I need to think long and hard about that one. To be sure. The first porn? When I wasn’t talking to you, it was all “Street Blowjobs.” Last day of this year. I’m not happy. A Busy B Virgil

699 Days Without B III, Day 140 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

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The worst thing I’ve ever read? Braxton’s Final Vet Bill? The Certificate of his Cremation? Any paycheck from the Day Job? The alarm clock? I wish I could say I’ve been reading something good. But no fairytales, only sleeping. Virgil’s Reading Away B

Friday, December 30, 2022

Saga 182 ~Virgil’s Reading Away B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford all these places for Chinese food, hot dogs, and ice cream.

But what about books? If anything, I hope to get through “Christmas Grump” before the first. It feels wrong to read holiday books after the first. It’s like eating breakfast for dinner. It’s something I don’t do. But if I hadn’t got all those shrimp Thursday, Sophia? For a moment, I was about to say there was never a time I didn’t bring food back for B. His Aunt, of course, could call me on my bullshit. That time we went out one weekend, and I ordered onion rings… Didn’t I also say something about that the other day with Virgil? It seems he can no longer stand for it. At least, I hope so, as he walked in here. Am I not sharing food?

If only he could read receipts and understand peppers and onions aren’t good for him. Hell! I’m not good for him, considering I’m not reading anything appropriate now. I think of Braxton as my son but Virgil. Well, I thought of him as Braxton for a bit, and since he’s not, hmm… Lady Sophia, I should start reading books on disappointment. Besides not yet finding the clip of when I stopped jerking off when B died. That’s what I was trying to read on top of all the porn. I was up at 4:00 AM, right? It’s 6:30 AM, and now we’re talking? Four hrs later, at 10:00. I should read the bills for V. I instead read while he pees “off” his bathroom pad.

Should I read things on dog behavior at the start of the new year? I know what I want. I want more books on dead/dying fur babies. And to have a good cry at them like this year, okay? Is there anything on how to stay awake? Because I’m sure, I’ll fall asleep at the end of this chat. I went through a self-help chapter once upon a time, and there’s Dale Carnegie. I need to be reading that bill for the fire department and sending it off before I get in trouble. The tab for the car shows it’s a little late for that. Virgil understanding Day Jobs? Lady Sophia, if I did, I’d try making more money… Writing ha-ha. Virgil’s Reading Away B

698 Days Without B III, Day 139 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 178 ~Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions~

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The alarm goes off to work at a Day Job I hate, to see people I despise, so I can continue deviant, sinful, skeevy behaviors. And then I have a son/dog to mourn and a “friend”/dog to support. I’m a good liar, but Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions.

Monday, December 26, 2022

Saga 178 ~Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions~

Two-Hundred and Seventy-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… that makes me a pretty big motherfucking liar. Pardon my French. That explains why I hate myself.

And yes, I will hate myself more. It’s all just icing on the cake with my big sin Madam J. The one thing that I never lie about. I killed my son. B III’s blood is on my hands always. And sure, with my time traveling and all. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon on Christmas day, so you know what that means about tomorrow. Hell! I could tell you about the liars I’m going to see. But what good would it do? To quote a Christmas film, “Scrape ’em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself!” Yes, I’m using that out of context. It’s practice. Madam, if anything, I need to become a better liar. The things I told my son. What I tell Virgil.

Well, not yet. By the time you read this, it will have been 135 days. But do you see any women walking around here? Only you on the page and perhaps in one Christmas gift. Relax, Madam, the money was already spent on an artist, Opiumud, and the porn “Bounty Hustler Queen rush!” Talk about something to do at Christmas. I still want a family? One of the things M Anime likes about me is I don’t lie to her. I’m like every other guy. That means, of course, I do. But I try to tell her how it is short of becoming Akon or Wheeler. I Wanna Fuck You, or God Told Me To Fuck You. With women, I need to be a “gentleman.”

Which is why I would both excel and fuck up being a member of the GOP. Oh, I can lie, J. The thing is, I own that shit. You notice I don’t say my bed, food, money or anything J. Madam, you want to know what I own, what’s mine? FEAR! I’m afraid of everything, everyone, every day, always. And the fact that I bother getting up in the morning means I lie constantly. So why do I want to sleep all day? Because I can’t stand a liar Madam. The lies get bigger, and so do the people that tell them. But B III and 2V? They don’t lie. And Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry… to be real. Everyone Lies Without Any Exceptions.

694 Days Without B III, Day 135 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will