Tale 214 ~B Down, V Button~

“Get down, B!” How many times did I say that in 15 years? If it’s any consolation, it wasn’t always directed at Braxton. Only the time it really mattered… The time to end his suffering. To live up to his name… Be Free, B III. Today, B Down, V Button.

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Tale 214 ~B Down, V Button~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. I killed my son. Braxton Barks Bradford died three years ago on this day. Sunday, January 31, 2021.

Inspector Echo, that is the only sin that matters today. With these two hands, I ended his 15 years of life. Not existence, Echo. No! Zombies exist. I believe in ghosts, too. My B III? I’ll even give God a shot. Because Only God Knows Why, if I ever prayed for anything, it was my boy’s life. If there was a button to choose between Braxton’s life and mine. Dead! I would die for Braxton to live without question. Death doesn’t frighten me. The how…

How do I do this, Inspector? Any of it? Death is so much simpler. How simple is it? B III.

I pushed a button on a screen. I put pen to paper. Hell! Before all of that, I pushed Braxton.

And now I push tears out of these eyes. It’s my fourth time crying today. Tuesday, January 30, 2024. Because I only want to push a few buttons come the day my boy B died.

The push of a needle…

The Vet didn’t kill him. I carry that weight… all six pounds of what was left between myself and the Day Job. Now, ask me why. Because I didn’t want to push buttons to tell a story. I pushed the buttons on alarm clocks because I was too tired. Exhaustion. Inspector, I am lazy and left loveless. Because I killed my Braxton. What about Virgil?

There is no V button for this. How To Save A Life. How To Love A Life. Excuse me, Inspector.

To my firstborn son Braxton:
I still don’t know how to do it B III…

2021 Gospel 214 ~Will’s “Dæmon” Day Afternoon~ The Last Day
2022 Chronicle 214 ~Be Curious And Not Psychotic~
2023 Saga 214 ~To B, Loved Again~

This is the third year Little B. The last thing you need is another of my lists. Or what about me telling THEM that it was okay… I’ll never forget the look you gave me, my Braxton. “Daddy, can we go home, please?” And I knew then, and you knew too as I gathered your things. But I don’t know how to do this, son. I’ll never know. As I push the same buttons to spell out, I love you, Always. B Down, V Button

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

1095 Days Without B III, Day 536 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lesson 361 ~Dare To Be Stupid~

Rob Thomas sang once, “I Feel Stupid” and when I feel that “I feel angry” and if I had a “Creed” to live by it’s the fact that “I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day.” It would be water “Under The Bridge” thank you YouTube. Dare To Be Stupid.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Lesson 361 ~Dare To Be Stupid~

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again if I choose not to, if anything I’ll be worse, they’ll think what they wish and believe whatever they want to believe, and again I walked away and why is that? In these final days, hell it’s not like I’ll stop writing, but this has nearly been one year and do you remember why I started because one bitch called me “skeevy” and Here I Go Again because some girl called me stupid… okay implied it, whatever.

Now notice I’m no one to be calling anyone names considering my habits in the bedroom, I’ll name a girl everything under the sun but as I’ve said, my mother raised a gentleman somewhat, I always pay for outings, (unless she owes me money), I cook, I clean. See I want to say I sound like a bitch, but that’s wrong too; if I call someone that nine times out of ten they’re “barking” without knowing a damn thing and how can I defend myself against being called skeevy, a pervert, a stalker, #metoo movement dammit. Didn’t I hear somewhere that profanity is a good sign of intelligence, hell or a sign of stupidity and that’s my sin, you know it wasn’t always lusting once before it was stupidity, every word out of my mouth, every word written, indeed who I am but how do I fight against it forever?

It doesn’t matter again right, so I hurt her, I believe I hurt others, honestly, Inspector Echo when it’s a crime to be you what do you do. In this day and age, it’s a crime to be black, but that hasn’t bothered me, in my life as Dr. King put it, it’s the content of my character. Yes, another reason to be a writer because I create characters, but I don’t know who I am because when I was a child that was stolen from me by my father and I became STUPID and why do you think I always ask questions because the answer from every single person is the same. Isn’t that an epiphany and what set me off, perhaps I should thank “Cherry” or at least talk to her again, my mother always said I take out my pain on others guilty or not, we cannot learn without pain, another rule.

People talk about burying the hatchet, and that doesn’t bother me as long as I get to shovel everything else of them as well, ditch diggers aren’t stupid people Inspector Echo, even that takes math. I’m sorry that a year has nearly passed and a bitch is still a bitch, can I be forgiven on how I went off on “Dear Future Wife,” I’m sorry for just finding my button, I’m sorry for my rage but to let it all go requires something I refuse now, Dare To Be Stupid.

I Will Have No Fear

How Cotton Was Forgotten

People are just too much to deal with for me sometimes but a person, one beautiful woman, I’d want to show her the world; on the other hand why would I want to leave my bed? If I found love, I’d be worried about losing her “How Cotton Was Forgotten”

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YD02GiRMA4

What about a smaller snooze button
Only I reach for nothing

You’ve gotten nothing to wear
And I really don’t care
to look in the bedroom closet; maybe I’m rotten
but I found your panties
A dystopian fantasy

where the spaces between you AND me
well they cease to be
Causes…
Three little words or a few
Love me like you do
In lace, silk, and cotton
My atom bomb baby

Because here and now
Won’t you stay with me, like I’m the only man in town?
Or has my heart too been forgotten

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Elly Tran Ha… Elly Kim Hong, Building 429 “Space In Between Us”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Five Stars “Atom Bomb Baby” (1957) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters), Luther Vandross “Here and Now”, Sam Smith “Stay With Me” and Bill Haley and His Comets “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town)” (1954) Cold War Classics (Atomic Platters)