Tag: Writing

Log 294 ~One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust~

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What am I trying to express other than an obsession with adult entertainment? I should be finished writing my book sometime this week, then editing… and I’ll file it away with all my “other” titles. One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust.

Monday, April 20, 2020

Log 294 ~One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust~

Hundred And Thirty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s great. If anything, like the song, goes, “Hire eight bodyguards that love to beat up assholes.” Except those “people” would be a lot of pretty girls. No, I’m not one of those “incel” losers, and I hate how I always end up sounding like Trump having to explain what I mean. SIGH first and foremost, women are the most beautiful creatures on the planet Earth. Okay, next to My Dæmon, of course. Everything I want and do in my life comes back to that, women.

So last night, I was talking about The Eve of a Cherry,” my novel. If you knew how many days I’ve spent first on the novella and then expanding it. I keep saying I can’t let anyone read it. It won’t make money, so why bother. It feeds my rank soul. What good is it, though. I don’t have the writing chops of S. Wolf, Todd Michaels, definitely not Skye Warren or Tillie Cole. Right now, I’m thinking more of Lily White, who wrote The Five and The Director. We’re talking snuff films “ravishment” fantasies, sex for drugs, and everything in-between. That stuff gets to me Madam Justice, it makes me feel alive. I can’t watch comedy for the sake of STUPIDITY. No toilet humor. Anything with mistaken identity or twins… well, that isn’t adult entertainment, but the funny stuff turns me off, without fail.

“THEY” talk about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, but I refuse to be blind. For a few weeks now, I’ve been arguing with myself over the idea of “Doublethink,” you know, from 1984. My kid is the perfect example of that, he can be a demonic little asshat, but I love him like pancakes, always and forever. I would fight anyone, though, that says anything wrong about him. Look, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Still, it’s the concept that everything I find amazing is looked at as putrid, perverted, or petrifying. One more reason I put women in everything. Only here I am nearing the end of my story, and as Jigsaw would put it, there will be blood. The Coronavirus (COVID-19) is running rampant, and I’m upset that there are no zombies. People are willing to die for some “beautiful” world I can’t see. Our American Dreams, my such art, One’s Art Is Another’s Disgust.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 287 ~Your Words Must Pick Sides~

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Don’t say it, and I wish it was something like “Cowabunga.” My Olds spent much of my life telling me not to talk, and when I grew up making me speak, but I didn’t want to sound like them. I want my words to choose me. Your Words Must Pick Sides.

Monday, April 13, 2020

Log 287 ~Your Words Must Pick Sides~

Hundred And Thirty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now because my words chose me here and now. At least I wish because they didn’t last night; two hundred words for, The Eve of a Cherry. What was I talking about last night? Yes, my tongue remained silent as I was ripped apart by the world. It reminds me of something I’ve heard from the Bible. The sins of the fathers will be visited upon the children or something like that. I’m still not a Christian man, but I am the son of one. My “Father’s” words became the world’s words, and then my own Madam Justice.

“The mistakes of our fathers make us fight our brothers.”

Again, left off from yesterday, I pick the worst words hoping once written down, they’ll take mine. The things I say to hurt myself. I remember the book Sick Fux by Tillie Cole. Evil words Rabbit and Dolly used to pleasure themselves in bed together. They were the words of those who ravished them. Madam Justice, I again practice gratitude that I never knew such horrors. Still, when one knows a monster’s pain, how dare anyone ask me to rise above. Right there, why do I immediately fall from Man to Monster? I had one of those and a good Mother, and so I became ME. I’m always trying to define myself. These words, Madam Justice, they have power, I know. So what am I doing with such force when I’m not destroying myself daily?

I wish I spoke with more kindness and love when it comes to My Dæmon. Every morning I begin with one word, “NO.” At this rate, I should consider SLEEP a holy writ for myself. Of course, neither of those words help me in the slightest. Who else do I speak to nowadays? Marianne Engel from The Gargoyle had the stone, and I have the screen, but I understand her shackles. The great labors to form her grotesques. Here I haven’t even begun my work, too busy talking to you. That’s not a dig, it was only a decision when I needed to get out of bed. If anything, I want to believe in my words. To have that freedom, but they are sitting in limbo as the song goes. Haven’t I shown on more than one occasion my willingness to destroy them, quickly enough?

Misguided, misanthropic, and missing to become decided, disgusted, and discarded. Your Words Must Pick Sides.

“The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth” – African proverb.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 280 ~Time Is A Cruel Bastard~

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What time is it? I swore I lost my watch yesterday, so I spent $15.00 buying a new one, and what was hiding under my seat? What I even left the house for? Woke up this mornin’, got yourself a gun. “Time Is A Cruel Bastard” and what it’s making me… hm

Monday, April 6, 2020

Log 280 ~Time Is A Cruel Bastard~

Hundred And Thirty-First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I don’t have to go out. Well, at least until; my would you look at the time. As always, Madam Justice, like Professor Hulk, “Time Travel!” “Time, time, time, see what’s become of me,” as the song goes. In all these years, even minute to minute, I’m changing, rearranging, and estranging the man I am. From the one I want to be or have to, I’m not sure. So if you wouldn’t call me a bastard, then what am I.

A gun owner for starters. Now I started to say something, but I signed paperwork yesterday. You know how Cherry has me afraid someone is reading this currently. Anyway yeah, I stood in line for hours to as the song goes, “Woke up this mornin’ Got yourself a gun.” I’m a pervert, but that’s always been the truth. Whitney Wright was talking about “FREE PORN’ on Brazzers, so of course, I’m in. Minutes after, I looked up one of her films first, “Wh*re Tornado.” Before you get mad, you should consider what I usually look up as time goes by. It gets darker, more depraved, or even disgusting. I feel sick, but not because of that. No, it’s not the Coronavirus (COVID-19) either. It’s the feeling I got when I first picked up my gun. I want my zombies Madam Justice. Only this is the first time I’ve held a tool that has but one encompassing purpose in this world.

I’m a father, but what have I done for My Dæmon lately? He has his food, his meds, comfy spots, but in all this time, I’m still not the Dad I should be for him. Case and point I should have talked to you earlier and be playing with him now. One more morning of cutting off my alarm. How about the fact that I’m still alone? The two women I talked to yesterday and I’m upset about the one that stopped me at the door to the store. Madam Justice, that interaction will haunt me for the next week. I’m a writer, and then I’m not because; how many words did I write yesterday. I didn’t even reach the quota because of all the lines I was standing in because instead of life, what?

Munitions, masks, my monster in my pants, how I know, Time Is A Cruel Bastard.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 243 ~You Willie A Critic~

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Doesn’t The Bible say something about judging others, and I’ve seen parts that would give certain paysites a run for their money with the raunchiness to be sure, and here I am saying I would never be a man of God. “You Willie A Critic”

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Log 243 ~You Willie A Critic~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s not for being funny. It’s not for being smart, a Republican, or even myself. Now, if it was for being STUPID, that’s the only reason I would give the money back. Lady Lu, I can’t stand STUPIDITY for its own sake ever. To this day, I wouldn’t mind being as controversial as the Marquis de Sade. It’s been a long day since I have felt this fire burning inside me to write. For two days straight, I have forgone naps because of this story.

“A Sin Full Of Cherry,” and no, I’m not thinking about changing the name. Facebook made that abundantly clear, and why am I so mad? As Metallica screamed, “Gimme fuel Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire,” and I need it Lady Lu. These past few days have been all about rage at everything. It feels like everything is falling away. You also know how I like my list. The Den is still HUMMING. The toilet seat is still useless in the half bath. One of my cars still isn’t working, and the radio in my second car has gone silent. How about that, the one place I want some silence is loud and where I need noise I get quiet. Well, it has given me more than enough time to listen to Audible. Only today (Wednesday), I finished listening to The Gargoyle. Now I’ve moved onto Beauty and The Professor. Oh, I also made a playlist for my novella, not much yet to share.

Let me tell you this. I’m not reading today; I want to work on my book. Am I that weak Lady Lu for you know who? How can a writer be as such, we create worlds and people; you think I was going to mention God? Well, I did make my character a Minister. Once upon a time, there was this church lady who told me I would become a minister. I’m sure this isn’t what she had in mind. How many times have I said it, build paradise, be surrounded by pretty “angels.” While also like My Dæmon, finding a multitude of comfy spots and never getting up until hunger demands. However, with his face, he’s never going hungry, and as for me, Lady Lu? Well, my life isn’t the most prolific thing of all, but how many stars?

No, You Willie A Critic?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 236 ~Will You Say Hi~

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I don’t get high anymore, which is the last of my vices as far as putting things into my body, well other than loads of sugar, I do need something to keep up, ladders, ladies, and loads of words because I rather not speak. “Will You Say Hi”

Saturday, February 22, 2020

Log 236 ~Will You Say Hi~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have to be crazy to pull that off. Now don’t get me wrong, Lady Lu, I’m less crazy than most. Not that I’m trying to distinguish between madness like Silver Linings Playbook. One of these days, I’m going to give a brief lesson on morality to show why I’m not a Trump Supporter. Let me be honest, though; standing with Trump is more STUPIDITY than insanity. I hate saying that because I know a few Trumpers. Those same people would call me everything under the sun, so I understand.

So let’s start across the pond. Part of the reason I’m a bit late talking to you is that I’ve been writing. Oh, is that what I call it Lady Lu? It’s not every day you can tell someone every “dirty” thought in your head. Ahh, the wonders of Erotica. While I’m busy writing it, I haven’t been reading. By now (Thursday), I should have finished Siren by Hazel Grace. Right now, much like Davina’s lovers, I can’t breathe. It’s always the same with any good story; I’ll do anything not to finish. It’s real Lady Lu, even a moment ago. Indiana Gone has me looking forward to something that still hasn’t arrived. A few minutes ago, I saw the FedEx guy deliver a package to another house. Now I know it’s not mine, but I want to go over like I’m a Porch Pirate.

Better I do something crazier like, climbing the roof, for example, hold up a minute? Please excuse me; I’ve started watching a lot of “Girlfriend Reviews” on YouTube lately but back to Amazon. If I’m not buying books, waiting on packages, why not look for a ladder. Am I that eager to die, like when I sent that girl a bustier with my name on it, what the hell? I’ve told you before I don’t seem to be learning from history, which takes me right back to writing that story for Cherry. Am I going to share that with everyone? For all I know, her father is hopping on a plane to come after me at some point. I have a hell of a time dealing with people at the Day Job. Still, you know what’s driving me up the walls. The humming won’t stop.

Only I sooner not greet anyone; Will You Say Hi?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

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One more early morning and I don’t know what the day holds, however yesterday I would have chosen to skip a two-minute conversation or better other two words instead of feeling like I’m STUPID. You Don’t Willie Know

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I sound so sure of that, don’t I? If anything, I was feeling glad yesterday. Well, all it took was one woman to snatch it away. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it here, DON’T MAKE ME FEEL STUPID! Inspector Echo I apologize for getting loud, especially at this early hour. THEY admit it takes 21 days to make something into a habit, right. For the record, it’s day three, and it was easier waking today, especially with an extra hour thirty. I’m still waiting for that Ben Franklin truth.

Now that is my point; why do you think I am continually seeking out knowledge? Is it wrong to be ambitious, to want to better my lot in life? I’ve finished two books this week, one by Dale Carnegie another from Natasha Bender. In the spirit of family-friendliness, I’d advise you don’t look up one of those names. Anyway, I know so much; that’s right; I said it Inspector Echo. As one of my motivations says, I am wise. I will rise, I need no guise. So I will not disguise the fact that yesterday, some black lady hurt my feelings. Am I playing the race card; yesterday the president is looking at impeachment. Look, I understand that hate is colorblind, but it’s always people that look like me SIGH. “My people” who bring me down the most as always.

What is this all about, “diabetic socks for men.” Am I not making sense? So this lady comes into the Day Job and asks, do we sell those types of socks? I’ve never seen them, so I say no. She says, “compression,” so I mull the term over, and she says, “you don’t know,” and she walks off in a huff. Talk about wearing my heart on my sleeve always. That’s one more reason I’m still running, and I’m a stickler for time. A moment to think, and I end up feeling like a moron. It doesn’t help that I’ve been physically running away these days. I’m waking up super early as Eric Thomas suggests so I can get somewhere, but it’s not to the fight. The faster I move, the quicker the day ends. I’m sorry I don’t take the time to see the man in the mirror Inspector.

I say it’s all FEAR, but You Don’t Willie Know.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 156 ~Addict Up, Mr. Will~

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Show gratitude isn’t that right, and if I’m sleeping more then my ear must not be bothering me as much, I didn’t even mention it today, but of course, I’m always complaining about something. Addict Up. Mr. Will

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Log 156 ~Addict Up, Mr. Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am asleep. Today I want to talk about my addiction. No, not “The Addiction” that’s for a possible Thursday and not “Family-Friendly.” Lest I forget I’ll break into Will’s Most Hated Words. Anyway, I don’t want to offend any former addicts, or indeed the general populace. It was only yesterday my “Grand Mommy” was called by hackers using my name, saying I had a DUI, the grandparent scam. I hardly ever drink, I don’t smoke, I’m not even a fan of coffee, you know.

Will’s Hated Words:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Family-Friendly
  6. Just Kidding
  7. Tease
  8. Freak

Coming soon, a top ten but for now my addiction. SLEEP Inspector Echo that is my sin. You ask me how is that a sin, aren’t I a “normal” American? I hate talking about the Day Job. I’m ashamed though, for two days I stayed awake, the third I felt drugged, today I’m under the covers. Everyday Inspector Echo, I listen to Eric Thomas railing about sleep. Then I come in, get something in my system, and promptly pass out. Talk about staying hungry if it keeps me awake. No, I choose to sleep over everything. I was late with my Dæmon’s meds because I wanted to sleep. Did I do any reading today? The pillow was calling my name. What time is it now that I’m talking to you? Oh, and I missed Cherry too because I am exhausted.

I talk about being an American with a job, but I’m also an adult. It never matters how I sleep; I only want so much more. Again there is one thing that keeps me going indefinitely, but I can’t go there. One more reason sleep serves as a substitute, or I could talk about violence. Yeah, I wanted to play some Far Cry 5, but I’m hoping to stay awake so that I can watch NXT. My Dæmon nowadays is an enabler, but he’s old. If anything, I should stay awake to enjoy being his dad for as long as I can. The kids say I should stay WOKE about the issues of the day. What about my writing, didn’t I say I wanted my book published by the end of the year? Good luck with that, as if right?

Sorry, Addict Up, Mr. Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 149 ~Don’t Mind The Will~

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There was so much I didn’t cover today so lost in my head, how about the allegoric reaction from all that dust in my eyes, the fact that my ear hurts, and I practically passed out getting back my “problems.” “Don’t Mind The Will.”

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Log 149 ~Don’t Mind The Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so does that mean I got money on my mind? Do you remember my “Show Me The Money” playlist? My thinking was that at least for two and a half hours; it was easy to stay positive? These past few days, though, I have been braindead. Keeping in mind today, I woke up an hour early and was still late to the Day Job. How about the fact that I wasted an hour of my time there getting ready for nothing at all? I bumped my head on the fan in front of a girl. Oh, and I completely blew it as a manager today, SIGH. I’m also limping towards the NaNoWriMo finish line after everything.

I could continue Inspector, but I have to be kind. How do I define being that, though? Didn’t I talk about yesterday keeping my head up? What about looking people in the eye? I keep failing Rule #2, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Inspector Echo, I tried, I gave it the college try, did I mention I never graduated? Besides that fun fact that I’m not a student, I’m also not a slave, but what did I do today? I’m not a “Master.” I don’t order people to do things for me, but again today. I am not the friend, and oh, how we are going to get into that tonight? My head hurts and again not only because I hit the fan. One day like today and I spend hours sleeping. I told Cherry and M Anime about how my feet were killing me because of driving. If anything, I am in more pain and have more shame because I ran away from those guys today. I’m a Senior Associate, Old Man, the Wardog.

Something else I don’t need to think about is My Dæmon’s age. A Dog’s Purpose is a no go right now only know he is living up to it Inspector Echo. I have to be a better father. If anything, I have to be a better man. You should also remind me not to quote R. Kelly’s lyrics. Okay, movies, R. Kelly, let me add Alanna Anderson. Don’t say I’m not “family-friendly” if you look her up, it’s your fault, okay? Speaking of taking responsibility, I finally got back to M Anime; after a month.

Sorry for my big full head, Don’t Mind The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 142 ~Thy Will Be Done~

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As the song goes, I was almost home, well 42,000 words leaving 8000 to go if I hadn’t wasted days from this one to that; and what about the Day Job, people, I am so done with everything and then nothing. Thy Will Be Done

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Log 142 ~Thy Will Be Done~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I could have been a year ago, or what’s my age again? Now it’s no secret Inspector Echo; if I had that level of wealth, I’d have a gaggle of young girlfriends. How about a beautiful wifey, yeah I’m still trying to be Dennis Hof. Only I was telling Cherry the other day, some women of a particular age are BRATS. I do mean legal age, but I’m getting off the subject, which is hmm? I should be done by now, with my novel, with the Day Job, how about staying afraid? Now you’ll have to excuse me, Inspector Echo, there’s work to be done.

The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono

Chapter I Buttons, All Shapes And Sizes = B, Protagonist
Chapter II Tight Type Of Time Management = T, Victim
Chapter III Hands Across An American Girl = H, Mnemosyne
Chapter IV Put Your Clothes On Chrono = C, Cult

Chapter V Gears Looking At Your Kid = G, Victim
Chapter VI I Spy Some Amazing Thighs = I, Mnemosyne
Chapter VII Knowledge Of Knockers And Knockers = K, Cult
Chapter VIII Forgotten Filthy and Forlorn Truths = F, Protagonist

Chapter IX Anatomy Of Frickin’ Laser Beams = A, Cult
Chapter X Desiring Daughters, Damn The Danger = D, Mnemosyne
Chapter XI Lust, Dust, Ladies, Do Much = L, Cult
Chapter XII The Naughty Bits Of News = N, Protagonist

Chapter XIII Mornings Mourning The Moaning Mistress = M, Victim
Chapter XIV Pillow Talks Most Popular Prayers = P, Cult
Chapter XV To Jump The Jawbreaker’s Bones = J, Protagonist
Chapter XVI Yes, I’ll Rock Your World = Y, Mnemosyne

Chapter XVII The Silence Of Scream Queens = S, Protagonist

I know where I screwed up. I ask myself that every day, when is the moment my anxiety gets the best of me? I’ve come too far in my novel now; 37, 945 words. Not far enough today since at this hour, I should have 700 down, researching everything. I thought I would be done, living this way. A long time ago, to be honest. One of my motivations says, though, that a champion never stops Inspector Echo ever. The struggle is real, as the kids say. I’ve thought a lot about my sins lately and understood why so many find well Jesus. People find it too hard, but How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Inspector Echo apologies, I worry, Thy Will Be Done.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

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Last week it was ants or the lack thereof and this week, butterflies, ants, and roaches oh my but I’m not talking about the actual creatures for they all exist in man, at least if you watch some weird cooking shows. “It Bugs Me, Will.”

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t think much of people. If I was being honest with myself and joined the ranks of the one percent, what would I do? I help NaNoWriMo and animals. Inspector Echo, is it a sin I still owe Indiana Gone, Birthday and Wedding Gifts?

Butterflies, not the first bug you thought I would mention today. I wasn’t thinking about them myself, but now I’m feeling them. Have I ever told you that Red and Black are my battle standard? Today though, I want to burst into that song Amber. No, I should mention the last time I spoke about butterflies or a particular Pokémon to a girl, the “Rainbow?” I would do well to remember since this would cause even more trouble. Wasn’t I so “optimistic” today, though, and I do not need to be in any sense? Shouldn’t I play Chris Pratt’s part in Passengers? Only I’ll do the right thing and leave her alone. I wasn’t lying to her, though; I like how my name sounds on her lips. Cherry would have a time with this, given her particular romantic interests always.

Ants would take my mind off things, but am I trying to curse myself, happy thoughts. It’s FEAR though Inspector Echo, my anxiety and worry. I’m always on guard, and that explains why I’m holed up in bed today. How about being in bed for a different reason, and it’s no good. I’m feeling pretty “antsy,” and I’m not sure why. Well, no, I know exactly why, but so far, I can still post this if I stay on the up and up. These words like one big ant colony, and I’m trying not to bug anybody else, life goals.

Roaches can survive anything or so “THEY,” say. My day job, for example, I endure humiliation, exhaustion, and I play dead. Some pretty girl sees me, and I go scurrying all over the place. I don’t want to imagine myself as a nuisance, but isn’t that always the case. Dennis The Menace, Bran the Broken, Will the Ill, etc. Why doesn’t “Okay” talk to me anymore? When I speak to Indiana Gone, I only bring bad news. Why do I chat up some pretty girl despite everything she has going?

I’m sorry for this RAID Inspector. To be a raven, Nevermore, It Bugs Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear