Tag: Energy

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Ending is better than mending… Guess what I’ve been reading. Braxton wasn’t something; he was someone. Like Virgil? And he couldn’t be fixed. Virgil was “broken” in a way. And myself. My bank account. And I’m taking breaks. “A Break Braxton, Virgil…”

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And do you think you should clean it? One more thing for the to-do list. Another list…

Like another puppy? How is that working out for you? Like father, like son. Someone. Because Virgil ain’t Braxton. Oh! Why so mean this morning? It’s not like Brave New World isn’t crammed with bullies. But aren’t I a bully? Thou art a villain. But the week has only just begun, and the first question that came to mind was, Are You Happy Now? Seriously?

The last thing you need is to start fawning over one more dark-haired girl. Acting like your Stuff & Thang ain’t never seen a woman. What must Braxton’s Aunt think of you when you sent her the first three chapters of Nightmare At The Meat Market. M Anime liked the title. But what I don’t like? Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least I’m back to finishing books. And you’ve finally started your end of the world, dystopia, and evil government arc. It’s like you’re living in your own literary world, right? Well, come January with Trump. Define interesting… Oh, God, oh, god, we’re all gonna die. Making the list: Brave New World, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and It Can’t Happen Here.

Amazon still thinks you’re breaking tradition by suggesting several Christmas “Romances” and books about broken hearts over pet loss. B needed a break from you.

Inevitably, everyone does. Why look into a dog’s eyes when you can stare at Yabbos?

Before the phone “broke…” ran out of juice, whatever you saw, a yearly recap that was all Virgil’s eyes and several pairs of Yabbos. Even a video that Cherry wouldn’t appreciate… While you’re doing that, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And you can’t seem to Break On Through To The Other Side. I broke that coffee mug yesterday. It was your phone today. And your bank account… check the refrigerator.

Hell! What about your body? Winston Smith didn’t have Soma. You have a bottle full of painkillers. If you want any advice from me… All you need is one unless you plan on joining B. And that boy deserves his retirement. As if he did. B is better than Spotify.

But what does Virgil do? Well, if you gave him a chance… Now that should go on Six Impossible Things. Only the list isn’t broken. It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you. A broken thing. Braxton tried. But you’re liberal. A Break Braxton, Virgil…

1407 Days Without B III, Day 848 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

WillLeave a comment

It’s the 1st of Tha Month and my head is barely hanging onto my neck. It could be because I woke up early yesterday. I was busy looking for stuff to clean. Then, I laughed with my boys’ aunt. So the world didn’t end? “Virgil, They’ll B Endings.”

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Meditation 153 ~Virgil, They’ll B Endings~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And seeing how you’re standing here, I must apologize. My aunt was wrong. Me, destroying the world.

No. That’s never been my cup of tea or cappuccino. Oh, and I’m sorry I didn’t buy you any cappuccino. It was about $70.00 preparing for Braxton’s aunt. Another $46.00 on Chinese food. But hey, you’re eating right. And I had good company. The world…

Inevitably, life goes on. Or, as a great man once said, life finds a way. Not for your aunt, though. That’s a bit harsh… But isn’t that your mood right now? Trying to get laid… Honestly, no man works harder. So it is my fault that you feel so lousy. Do you want to get up and grab some painkillers? You would prefer the end with how the night ended.

Well, you’re going to lie about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 036 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Can you guess which one you’re lying on? I can give you a hint or a clue. And the answer:

I thought better of it…

But let’s focus on #1. Have you ever failed that one? And now you’re reading list is shot to Hell. It’s been decided you’re not going to read Christmas “Romances” this year. If the world ends… Excuse me, if American ends come January, there are excellent odds that it won’t be your fault. So time to read what to expect… Oh! Right, where’s your money?

I had my first movie night with Braxton’s Aunt without Braxton, so Virgil’s Aunt. Hmm? And a good time was had by all. Virgil wasn’t too embarrassing. She loves him.

NaNoWriMo’s is done. I finished 50,000 words. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So, I survived the humiliations of Black Friday. I finished 50,000 words of a book (I can never publish). The house didn’t fall down around me, Braxton and Virgil’s Aunt, and Virgil himself. And I endured No Nut November… You messed up after midnight, friend.

And yes, we agree that we will lie about that unless you decide to mess up again today. No wonder you’ve been all “religious” considering this morning. But last night

The Book of Clarence? Or was it that you dreamed of the words from dead men? Last night, waking up from messing up, you dreamed you were surrounded by dead men. The Green Ranger, Black Panther, Braxton, and others. They said you were found wanting.

What? Virgil, They’ll B Endings.

1400 Days Without B III, Day 841 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

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“No place for weakness. Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans.” I only called myself B’s Dad. And now I’m just another guy with regards to V. A WEAK and a pathetic one at that. But to somehow survive this week. Virgil’s Weakness To B.

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I don’t envy you. I was about to vent about my work, but then I realized the weight of your work and the Day Job. I can only imagine how tough this week will be. Sigh

But your work? Add on the Day Job as well… At the end of the day, which you wish was today or Friday, November 29. 2024. You’ll have lived one of the worst weeks ever.

Nothing will ever be worse than the week Braxton passed away. But considering you’re only now just waking up… This week is already shaping up to be pretty effing terrible.

Oh, come on now! I’ve said plenty worse than the word, effing. I’ve been working on the novel this past week. And now it’s up to you to finish it. And again, that’s on top of you having to survive the Day Job. No wonder you woke up looking for a grave after looking for Braxton. Not, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Little Guidance: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You feel gross with having to thank MAGA for not being gross when it comes to #4. This has been the easiest and the HARDEST No Nut November ever. Sure, there have been trials, temptations, and traps. What about TRIUMPH? What, the insult comic dog?

Madness. And I’ve still been staying away from the news since the election. Weak people. Or should you say the people you’re going to meet this week? And you’re sick.

No! You write fiction. It’s other people that have ruined the country. Racist and Ra*ist. Women are a much better weakness than outright ignorance. Then again, what have you been writing lately? Or stealing? Bible Black, Saimin Seishidou, other animations…

Anything to avoid what the world is. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s rare that the list changes. You’re so tempted to put down, don’t wake up tomorrow morning. There is nothing in it for you. And I’m sorry I don’t have any words of encouragement for you. I can’t even give you the outline for the next chapter, though you know how the story will end. How will this week end? Other than the Humiliations Galore. But that’s an everyday occurrence. If only you could wake up with the knowledge of what awaits you. Ignorance is bliss… More like 1984. Seriously.

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
1984

Art imitates life. Uh, you should rethink your booklist for the holiday season. Get past Thanksgiving and Black Friday first… Be a better Man because you’re Virgil’s Weakness To B

1393 Days Without B III, Day 834 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 139 ~Virgil, Please B Patient~

WillLeave a comment

Time is an excuse. Between making sure I don’t starve and writing? Uh… Is that what I’m calling my “novel?” It’s not fit for Pure Taboo. Then, I have my “spiritual” son. And the one that always had to wait until later. Virgil, Please B Patient

Sunday, November 17, 2024

Meditation 139 ~Virgil, Please B Patient~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you too busy to even look at me? You’ve written 450 words for no GOOD reason.

14 days… If you can keep going for those two weeks, then congratulations. You will have completed another NaNoWriMo, in how long? It has been quite a while. When was the last time I tried pulling an all-nighter to write? When was there ever the time? Um, better you don’t think about that. It’s better if you don’t think about a lot of things. Braxton…

Today, yours and his song were playing on your brain. Run Boy Run. It was released in 2012. The year the world was supposed to end… Sigh. But you heard it around January 2015 in the trailer for Dying Light. And in what month did Braxton Barks pass away again?

Coincidence? Virgil’s waiting for those coincidences. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking the Team: An explicit hotwife group menage, Lolita Minx
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I’m sure one of these days, it will be “Love ya V, Love ya Virgil,” as it was with Braxton.

For now, though, you’ll stick with later. But you know what can’t wait until later. Democracy? Uh, Freedom? You’re still mad about Trump winning and the entire government being lost. The White House, Senate, House, and the Supreme Court. Fallen.

You can’t think about that, though, when you’re writing. You were even tempted to suspend us talking so you could write. However, you want to avoid ending up behind bars.

As I’ve been singing all this week, First let me explain that I’m just a black man (a black man). And before you tell me the next chapter of your story. There’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Little Guidance: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Chapter Eleven: Ass Kept Behind The Glass (Antonio Mateo Correa)

Antonio’s obsession with Sofía drives him mad. He begins to lose all contact with her. With her number blocked, his online account suspended, and kicked out of her store, he is at a loss of what to do. Only to realize he is on video and can be blackmailed without question. Tracking the adult video of himself back to Cherry, he stalks her instead. Upon finding her in a rather compromising situation, he begins to formulate a new plan to get to his real goal, his lady love, Sofía. Somehow, someway, she will be his.

You can see why I’m worried. But there isn’t any time to worry. Write and Love… Virgil, Please B Patient.

1386 Days Without B III, Day 827 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

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My boys have been hanging around more than usual. Braxton’s “Energy” is writing a new testament come Monday with FIRSTBORN. Virgil knows I’ve been worried about the Trump Win. And even the nicest Yabbos leave me hanging. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around.

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And November won’t be so HARD for you. Seriously… In terms of No Nut November… Good Luck!

Other than that, this month has been very HARD. And “Isn’t It Ironic, with everything.

Even now, your stomach is in knots. And you are feeling pretty wired. Energy shots.

Today, it’s as if you’re hanging by a wire. That’s been me all last week. It won’t be getting any better. Everything went downhill when you put your pants on. More like the moment you wake up. Why didn’t you hang around in bed as I have been doing? Mourning…

You’re asking yourself what have I roped you into. It’s less than Braxton’s passing away.

Though you still feel it’s all your fault from a very good dad to a voter and now a villain.

Donald J Trump will be president. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 015 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

None of it is going away as fast as your “Stuff & Thang” in your pants. The last time you felt anything “down there,” you had just finished your book for the week. You’re lazy…

“Taking The Team.” And before that, there was “Polly & Her Neighbor.” Come on, man! And both of those were right after Jack McAfghan and his human Kate McGahan’s book.

When it comes to the lewd reads, you can think worse. For example, there’s “Karen.”

Do you see that? Do you see her? You would be all Bad to the Bone. However, Virgil is still lying here. He’s been hanging out a lot like B III’s… Spirit, Ghost, Energy, Whatever.

Everything’s hanging like the sword of Damocles. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking the Team: An explicit hotwife group menage, Lolita Minx
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So you’re looking for something HARD to plant under your feet. Is it not HARD enough being a black man in the heart of Trump’s country? Trump nation come January…

That’s why I called Braxton back. You’ll hear his voice come Monday morning. But he’s…

You know, you know, but are you saying, “Give me something to believe in?” I swear I was talking to Braxton the other day. And how he says he speaks to you like Bumblebee’s radio. How do these songs pop into your head like something out of Limitless? You know?

Beats the snapping of a neck… Choking? Virgil’s whining at a closed-door… Or you moaning anytime you pull your pants down at a pair of Yabbos. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around

1379 Days Without B III, Day 820 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

WillLeave a comment

If I had my way, it would be back to lying on the couch with a good book and my boy. It’s like I don’t have the balls to live this life, to even exist, and then I look down. Oh, right… and then there’s the bucks, broads, my book? Lying With Another B

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hoping I didn’t invest in Sesame Place. Nobody wants to be them. You want to be you…

If anything, you want to be a goddamn adult, a grownup, a fucking man. If you could stop thinking about fucking every second. Pardon your language. But what’s your crime? Every day but Sundays in particular, you remember. B III is gone. Losing him again. That’s another story you’ll get to in a bit. So far today, you haven’t been honoring him. If you are on the floor, it’s only been to cut off the alarm and go back to sleep. What have you been dreaming of? Again we’ll get to that. But this week… fuck. You already hate it. It’s going to be like the week you lost your boy. Hard work and hating the whole damn universe. You’ll change it… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

By some miracle, I pulled off three of these things. But to be specific, #4. Dammit, I haven’t been wearing pants except for the Day Job and Saturday. Yet somehow, I survived. It’s been touch and go. The only time I’ve touched my dick is during bathroom time. Hell! This morning as you continued to lounge around in bed. You fell back asleep. Your dream was like prostitution mixed with an episode of Glee. You keep hearing, “That’s the end of my hour, she’s bouncing/bobbing on that…” well, you know. Sang by all the characters as you woke up. Can’t even remember all of the girls flittering through your mind. All you know is the desire to go back to sleep before doing something STUPID or not… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Story of Us
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Braxton’s Book For Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because it goes without saying that you will be finishing the novel today. “The Will To B III.” Yesterday was probably the hardest. And that’s counting those days when you got off your ass and wrote 5000 words. Well, 4600 to go into the novel anyway. But B III’s eulogy? You’re showing more empathy than me. I don’t expect I’ll be hearing from Cherry anytime soon due to my lack of concern for her mum. Yet you want to cry today, oh Braxton, my Braxton. When B passed, I don’t think I had a dream about him right off. Go without a phone one day? That’s fixed. Literally don’t fuck myself and dream of sex always. Being a BOY, bucks, books, Little B. No, rather be Lying With Another B.

546 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

WillLeave a comment

My novel with B is halfway full, but my head is half empty. That’s a lie because what am I filling the other half with. Furbabies, forgetting about the Day Job (or trying to. And how effed up I am or my friends talking about it. Only To B This Empty.

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Saga 023 ~To B This Empty~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning full of cash. What are you full of? Which monsters nurture your fear. Your mourning? Monday.

For all, that’s begun filling up this week. You know you’re empty of all the good in the world. And as I said yesterday, it starts with Braxton. Do you even have a container? I mean, a heart? No, that remains broken. A Republican ideology, harden all you know. Harden… Giggity, and you will get to that. Don’t have the power to resist temptation. Anyway, while you’re on the subject of power, should we talk about the phone battery. There’s the laptop battery that was ready to give you a heart attack? Pathetic! Hopeless! Now you can blame me for the fridge not being as full as it should be. So I’m no better. Yet if you want fullness, look at Little B’s yard today.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, Blackout: A Thriller, Erin Flanagan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Oh no! Ignore your son and go look at some Yabbos, right? When I looked at those addiction books yesterday and read about the symptoms. There are three things. Financial pain. How much do you pay for subscriber-wise or anything with sex, hmm? Then there’s the Day Job. This is more a confession for Echo. Jerking off before leaving. Then there’s family and friends. Besides, the indifference to this existence. That was a direct cause of Triple B’s death. Too much XXX while ignoring him. There are other friends. One immediately gives me a hard-on whenever she messages. Then there’s the one you were messaging this morning. You have all the respect in the world for women, but such horrific stories are actual turn-ons. Fuck!

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Speaking of your hands being empty of your tallywhacker, or so you hope. (Sex brings such colorful language). What about Six Impossible Things? If that isn’t one book fail, ha. You continue to think about Blackout: A Thriller. For everything, it was about. It’s the thing that’s keeping you so grounded in fighting addiction. (cough) for three days (cough). Yeah right. And now you want to fill your mind with more pets dead and dying. Doesn’t it beat sex, though? Well, in America. Death is always more acceptable than sex. Anyway, it’s why you’re not reading erotica. Um… Succubus Lord audiobooks… Ten was my favorite, so you know. It’s a balancing act, being half full, half empty. That’s existence, that’s real. To B This Empty

539 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 306 ~Capes Are Overrated Will~

WillLeave a comment

Nobody plans on being a hero so how does one plan on writing one; I don’t have that gift but there are plenty of others, and then there’s always Amazon, but I’ve been n the wrong department for some time. Capes Are Overrated Will

Episode 306 ~Capes Are Overrated Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and as my daily motivations and affirmations go, money is a form of energy. So while I’ll never claim to be a scientist, well not since school. Energy is neither created nor destroyed just transferred. Sorry, my former geek vibe days.

Lady Sophia these are trying times for geeks and other fandoms. You might think I would be happier (I am grateful, positive vibes). What I mean is Star Wars Day is tomorrow. Avengers: Endgame was the conclusion of several storylines. I got to see Arya Stark’s sideboob. Now isn’t that what it always comes back to with me. One reason B III is my only guy friend. Still, he’s naked all the time except wanting to buy him bandannas. That’s more clothes than I buy most girls on any day. I purchased “Indiana Gone” a dress once. Only my life’s work s more to the point of getting women out of their clothes. Hence my novels and why I don’t write heroines at all.

Okay so that sounds bad, but as always I could do worse seeing as how I’m just getting started now. A tent in my pants and all I should be working on my novel. How about looking over the books. I could write about surviving addiction, nearly thirty days now NO FAP. As a writer, if you’re not doing your due diligence, you should be reading. Well other than Triple B’s prescriptions. Amazon Wish List, bill collectors, and long overdue emails. So it’s time to get back to some erotica which isn’t helping with Brainbuddy. Again I’m no hero; I’m a strange man to a lot. Hell Luke Cage doesn’t wear a cape. I don’t think so, never watched that story.

The thing is I don’t want to write that or even live that. My novel, if it were a love story, would be about how far I could fall. How fast can an angel catch me before? Would a girl follow me down, or could she resurrect me? I dole out wings, costumes, PhDs but never capes? If I write about criminals, well my character shot a woman in the shoulder. I left it to his dad to be her killer. An alter ego to burn villain and victims alike. Still, I can’t help liking such pretty wrapping. Book covers, lingerie, “dollar dollar bill, y’all” but Capes Are Overrated Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 102 ~And Find Will’s Remote~

WillLeave a comment

Fire burns until there is nothing left and since there aren’t kisses coming in my direction or candles igniting, these flames are left to burn; no I’m not carrying the fire I’m being engulfed by a worse desire. “And Find Will’s Remote”

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Episode 102 ~And Find Will’s Remote~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How to make One Million Dollars, well I don’t spend any on BDSM leather, and other than condoms I don’t know much about latex, but before I even knew what it meant being “dominant,” I learned one word… CONTROL. When I was young, hell even today, I have issues with anger, now to me RAGE equals ENERGY, and since violence gets frowned upon and I can’t sleep how do I expend it, those days I cleaned.

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus… makes you stronger. ― Supreme Chancellor, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

It was all I had Dirty Diana, but if I could have a clean environment, it would clear my mind, I suppose it was a form of control, and in my day to day life I have so little of that but the ability to focus… I let go of everything, fear, hatred, this rage that has engulfed me except I don’t have anything to tidy here and at work, that’s the problem; sex and violence, you see with sex I want complete control, I may be “kinky” according to some women, okay, but I maintain control because there’s life. With fury at another man I don’t give a fuck; with sex and my enjoyment of sadism, hurting a lady in certain ways is pleasurable to a degree but with violence against the men that have wronged me, there’s no pleasure, there’s madness, a beast and what he wants, I cannot speak, I mean honestly.

Now I’m not having sex with the ladies, and I’m forbidden to harm the “gentlemen” (those bastards) so no wonder the beast is at the gates, and the rage is overflowing, and that’s making me even madder because I’m being told to “be myself” again. Yes, they would make me a vagrant with no place, less verbose in my language, the victim. Not sounding very sexy I know and yes I’m repeating myself, but it’s one of the reasons I’m in the lifestyle, to make someone feel as though they have a purpose and at the same time powerless, and to have a peek at the real them. Death is but a parody of life, I can get the thrill in my rage against a bully but what is the opposite of it, calm, clarity, contentment but that requires containment.

Graves can do that, so can a girl’s clothes if you tie her up in them, some might even put their faith in God but I’ve got nothing but Rage and Pain, and the thing about that is, pain can be shared and can be good in some ways. When you ignite that hurt though; when you make someone fear and hate, you can’t control them, and for damn sure you’re not in control of yourself, I must manage the beast, And Find Will’s Remote.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 359 ~ The Force Is With You~

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We see what we wish, you can’t see air, but I still breathe right, they use the same argument for God; I’m not looking for breaths or it, I’m looking for is power, whatever it is that makes people move, myself included. “The Force Is With You”

Monday, June 25, 2018

Lesson 359 ~ The Force Is With You~

Thirty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

Can You Love Me Again, because despite all this hate and everything else love continues to exist and no I don’t believe love is “The Force” it is not one emotion or even several, it is something much more? According to Star Wars which I am an avid fan of The Force is an energy field that connects all living things and is generated by living entities… I believe that more than any God.

I am not a religious man though I did have a period in my life when I sought out God though I mistook that for what I truly desired and that Madam Justice is power in all forms though there are some I value higher than others. “Indiana Gone” and “Okay” might argue that I favor “The Light Side” goodness, knowledge, empathy, compassion, but hatred, fear, anger, desire is more of “The Dark Side,” and I can’t avoid it. Last night was an example, I was so tired, but it was lusting for something, rather than love for myself that kept me going a while.

It all comes down to energy and mine is at its highest levels when I feel hate, when I’m hot as Hell, have you ever been afraid Madam Justice, that is the force being with you, and while fear can be a weakness considering how long I have survived it can be a fantastic strength. The same might know acknowledgment for sex, that desire can infuse you with such power always to do what you wish regardless of anything else; it gives you what it takes to win. In a word, FIRE, sometimes it warms you, you can use it to burn others, it may even consume you, but every fire needs something to keep it going, when you’re all alone it takes little, in the darkness you need the light, and when fire surrounds you, either blend in or shine brighter than ever before.

“If you want to take the island you need to burn the boats.” —Tony Robbins

Now as I said, I am not a man of faith but do you want to know what The Force is, to me it’s getting up every morning and doing this for damn near a year, writing every day and for what? With everything that has happened, it is something that says this can be different; I do not want to live this way, I do not have to die this way, not if I am with The Force and The Force is with me Madam Justice, I must remember The Force Is With You.

“I’m one with the Force, and the Force is with me.” Chirrut Îmwe, Rogue One

I Will Have No Fear