Tag: Life

Chronicle 057 ~An Interesting Story B~

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I call myself a writer. Most days, I wear some bit of NaNoWriMo gear. What does it mean to be a writer? My confession of a crime from 208 days ago. Getting grilled by some guy for a car accident. My excuses and Day Job hate. “An Interesting Story B.”

Friday, August 27, 2021

Chronicle 057 ~An Interesting Story B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and how did I accomplish such.

“A good question – for another time.” ― Maz Kanata

Why not now? Lady Sophia, I was about to say that I’m sick of stories. By today I should be finishing The Theta Timeline by Chris Dietzel. I don’t hate it. Sure I hate the fact that there are no more stories on the Great De-evolution. I hate the tale of my son being dead. There have only been two novels in my whole thirty-six years of life (remember that), I’ve stopped reading. The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins (I believe). There’s also the “classic” Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Yeah, there’s the Bible, but that’s a whole collection. Why am I mentioning books besides it’s Friday? Well, Wednesday, August 25, 2021, for real. A Time Traveler, that’s me. Why can’t time just stop?

Today’s been hard, and Braxton isn’t here to “Listen to my story.” Cherry’s pretty pissed. Yeah, I’m wasting time on Twitter instead of focusing on the Ninth. Yes, I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell, but I’m mean more of the day. Car accident and a fucked up phone call. Then there’s the fact of missing the 85% completion for price changes that a supervisor told me about. How about all the humiliations from the kiosk to other customers? I’m still trying to forget about that movie I saw, “Soulmates,” which makes me a real asshole. Nobody wants to listen to the other stories I want to discuss, or they’re on the news nightly. I did mention Chris Dietzel. Where is my time machine?

I would be a selfish prick, but can you blame me? How To Save A Life, I’d save B III. Sophia, you see what day we’re moving closer to. I’d become a Terminator: First Breath. I love my mom and feel a way about my father. Ha, I need only stop myself existing um yep. How often have I said I need to watch my mouth in case people take a sec or two? I’m not complaining like Cherry. Her writing has promise, like the girls on Onlyfans, have Yabbos. Story of my life, and you know I don’t even go back and read my own work. It’s why I’m constantly repeating myself. And when Braxton tried to tell me stories… An Interesting Story B.

208 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 056 ~Hunger Of B’ing Well~

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Shut your pie hole, or to that effect. The things I would say to my boy when he barked about the neighbors, I’m not sharing, when I had to go to the Day Job. All I do is talk about B and eat French fries. Am I empty or full? Hunger Of B’ing Well

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Chronicle 056 ~Hunger Of B’ing Well~

207 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Apparently, you didn’t Thursday, January 28, 2021, and that’s when I noticed. You weren’t eating.

Like father, like son, things weren’t right. Here I am after 207 days, and I continue to ask what “it” was. The food, the water, what is it that Mcdonald’s sells that I can’t get enough of. Monday and Tuesday, I felt so bad, but I still ate it. A time to starve, hmm Braxton. With you B III, when your stomach was empty, you were still so full of love, light, and life. Now, what did I have them give you in return? I did ask, was there anything that could make your condition worse. If you weren’t suffering, then there would be drugs. Braxton, I would have let you stuff your face. You would have had all your favorites. Your sickness was physical.

Like father, like son, my Old Man didn’t understand me either. Who’s The Better Killer? This is the one time I wish I hadn’t won. Then again, who says I did? I believe taking a life is horrible, and other than some bug… B, your life was the first. That’s ironic, the one I love. To take someone’s body is another, and since I’ve talked to Lady Sophia already. Well, we don’t have to talk about a majority of my novels and the horrors done to women. Anyway, my point is, the destruction of the soul is the worse crime imaginable. Did I do that? Braxton, I am no Steve Urkle. Way before your time. Plus, I don’t want to be funny or to laugh.

Like father, like son, we were both super serious unless your aunt was around. She was the first reason I ever saw you stop eating. Again, not trying to laugh. Carolina Bound made you a cake and shared so much you had met your match. It took you days, Braxton. I’ve gone for about a week without eating. I don’t mean now. But when I got into it with my Old Man, with the Day Job. The day you left, I didn’t have a chance, so many people checking to make sure I was eating. B, you know I can’t stand liars or any stupidity. This leads me to this week, full of rage, regret, this raving lunatic’s stupidity. Full, empty, Hunger Of B’ing Well.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 055 ~I B Seeing Ya~

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Last week I spoke of crying, and if tears were cash, I’d be literally swimming in it. But I sweat at the Day Job, I would’ve given blood for Braxton, I did on occasion, and now a reverse on Onlyfans. But I’m not crying over that. “I B Seeing Ya”

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Chronicle 055 ~I B Seeing Ya~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s something I want people to see. More I wish Braxton was alive to see.

I was reminded Monday that B watched me waste a decade of my life. Ten years, his Daddy, his best friend, his “person,” came home haywire, hurt, and hate-filled. There is not one day, no, not one that this wasn’t true. Unless I walked in then back out or yelled. He never minded, but now I find out that somebody else has. I’m a scary dude Inspector Echo. Most days, if I can be only a TIRED black man instead of a STUPID one or ANGRY. I would call that a win. I’m trying to remember those times B III saw me at peace, SIGH. I’ve said before that I don’t blame Banfield Pet Hospital. I’m guilty; I’m a murderer. But then ten years Inspector.

Braxton had 15+ and of those first five. Hell, how long was I with my Olds? I must have been twenty-one when I first met my son. As much as I want to say it was my rage at the Day Job, how can I account for wasting thirty-six years of my life? Almost thirty-seven. Um, my Olds, to the Day Job supervisors and managers, even Carolina Bound sometimes. From praise, to pardon, to pain, what they must think about me. I need earbuds. To know, the one I love the most as far as his opinion of me never spoke a single word Echo. Inspector, I imagine he’s as dedicated to watching me. Like, my sister had him watching the Disney Channel. I’m Onlyfans

You know me, I would do anything to get out of another day at the Day Job. Anything but yeah, publish a book or stop punishing my penis. Graphic, um, I’m sorry Echo for that. To think I saved that for the shower. Or when Braxton was on punishment, playing in the sun, or preaching to the neighbors. Inspector, there’s the news today from OnlyFans. Braxton is watching me be late enough as it is. Talking to you, but at least I’m not in bed. Didn’t I say something before about WWBD (What Would Braxton Do). Dad’s wasting his life. I can say for 15+ I found myself capable of loving one with everything, Echo. How To Save A Life… Braxton, I B Seeing Ya.

“I keep asking God what I’m for
And he tells me “Gee, I’m not sure.” Alan Menken, Skid Row (Downtown)

206 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 054 ~Will Love B There~

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Sometimes B is in my dreams. When I go into his room, some of his toys have moved. I’d swear I had a rat or some other rodent, but all B’s treats are on the table. Calling him for meds, I swear I hear his paws patting all around. “Will Love B There?”

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Chronicle 054 ~Will Love B There~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still don’t fancy myself an art connoisseur. Well, like Onlyfans, it depends. What’s art?

There are no more little tan hairs at the foot of the bed or on my pillow from B jumping. B’s shrine, temple, memorial, I don’t know, is never going anywhere like V for Vendetta. I don’t care what we have, “Soon As I Get Home” from work, I’m in my B III hoodie, ok. Hell, where are we now 205 Days, and I’ve only ever missed one, with a treat for my B III. There are labels for meds, beeps for when I need to get up to check his spot or water bowl. You hear me when I walk into the house. Honey, I’m home. Nah, “just me, Baby B.” Is it ok? No, I’m not asking permission. Another thing like Aloe Blacc.

I’ve told you before about his song “Wake Me Up” and how he sings about life’s a game. I still don’t agree that love is the prize but a gift. Sure, not everyone wants it. There are imitations of such. But once you give it, when you receive it, well, can it be taken away? Losing Braxton has made me love more. Being a husband to you, a father to our children, I won’t ever be one to tell you what to think or believe. I know what I feel and what’s real. I know my love for my family will never diminish. It’s only, I’m loving for two now. Braxton’s not here. I know that (SIGH) I know that. I need him to be.

And you need me to be, as do our children, so to quote another song, “Where Is The Love?” Be it the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, or applying for Cerberus’s job. I hope B will know. Baby Girl, I fear my love is like the sun. For you, it’s having to travel far from its origin. That was Braxton to me. Pathetic, I know, considering my history with the word love. B III is up there, somewhere, and the world is a bit colder for all of us. It could be that I loved him so much. I fear what would happen if I focused all my attention on you. God is love, THEY say, but God is cruel. But for us? Will Love B There

205 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 053 ~Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder~

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Sum up my job, pick it up, put it down. Boxes, tools, my feet, but B wouldn’t complain if I brought food. Eat first, then let him run around the backyard. I’m cleaning up as if he’ll step off the Rainbow Bridge. “Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder”

Monday, August 23, 2021

Chronicle 053 ~Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder~

Two-Hundred And Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I always have a soft place to land. I swear Braxton quested for comfy spots.

It didn’t take me 204 days to realize he was the cuddliest thing ever. Being as exhausted as I am, I’m always grateful for my head to hit the pillow. Braxton’s fur is long gone. Madam, at this moment (Sunday, August 22, 2021, Time-Travel), I’m in B III’s favorite hoody. His pillow is beneath my feet. Yet I’m cold AF. AC, stupidity, my B’s love? Don’t you think I should look up how to work the thermostat for once? That’s something Dads do, isn’t it? Talk about a lift. For all my failures, I once could say I’m B’s Daddy. Braxton can no longer lift my spirits, and whenever I raise my foot, I’m heading off in the wrong direction. It’s a decision, I know.

When my foot comes down, I wish I was in the ground. Didn’t I say today (again Sunday) that I must be careful with my words. Like wishing I could fly as Braxton does? How many steps must he have taken in his life? I’m 36, 37, but Braxton had four paws for fifteen+ years. The thing is, he appreciated every one of those steps while I hate mine. You ask me what the last step I wanted to take was. Not as profound as what I was thinking because of the truth. Taking Braxton to die, of course. The Hardest steps of my life. After those would be the ones, well, who knows how long it took me to walk after my “Emergence Day.”

Only I keep going, don’t I? I can’t tell you the last step I took that I was happy about. Carolina Bound would be disappointed because, in July, we all went to lunch. My friends. Braxton would be proud that Saturday I went and bought new pruning shears… What’s My Age Again? I’m trying to take care of the backyard. Braxton, come play again, please? I’ve even written it into my budget now to go and pick up lunch. McDonald’s will be pleased with $10. Taco Bell has fries. I need plenty after the Day Job shitshow; I know it. What else do I know? I don’t want to fall on my face; for scams and not in love again. Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder

204 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

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Make sure to bring a sharable (fries), don’t let the grass grow tall enough to poke my little B, let me go outside if you’re trying to cook. Those are only a few of Braxton’s rules, and now the house and life are lawless but TRADITION. Rules Can B A

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there are no rules, but as for you… Make the bed might be one more.

Speaking of one, what’s one more humiliation, an accident, or betrayal. I’d say you’re going to Hell but been there and done that. What, I don’t do inspirational Pep Talks. Instead, I know you’re thinking about the last time you were at the Day Job. Do we go to you at the kiosk? How about your Stupidity at price changes? Oh, it gets worse too. If it wasn’t your first time working the kiosk in a decade, it’s your first car accident with someone. You’d never say you’re a good driver, but I felt that fear returning the other day. Then, of course, I went to PetSmart as well. I could say I hadn’t petted another dog since Braxton for 201 Days. Then 202… add that to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Patient (short)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

That’s the thing, mourning doesn’t have any rules until it does. Rules are Rules, as I read in The Theta Patient. Now you’re all into The Theta Timeline. Would you look at that, a connection? At the moment, you don’t know who you are but with B’s death and books. Hell, there’s a whole series of rules written down to life, so why don’t you read them? I don’t know what I was envisioning when buying that “Budget Guns” magazine. Now you’re dealing with some thoughts. You know you must be careful voicing such opinions. Petting that dog… I needed a bit of life, but the thing is, I don’t deserve it. The good news is life makes it as hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Timeline (Novel)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There are no rules other than those you have made for yourself that you won’t follow. How about the government you tell M Anime that you believe in? There are all the unwritten ones. For when you get out of this bed and face the people of this world. Man in the mirror. If anything, right now, you only want to finish this conversation in two hours and fifteen minutes. It’s only an idea that you feel deems you worthy of having a nap in the afternoon. Like in Blue Gender, when you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you or B III, right? He Knows

Interestingly, I chose to break B III’s rule of coming home smelling like other dogs. Is that a Hell-worthy trespass… Yes, Rules Can B A…

203 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 051 ~To B A Winner~

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As the song goes, why do the things I hate come so naturally? In that case, I should learn to hate winning because losing is pretty easy. Hate my job; keep it. Love my dog, lose him. Writing is the one thing in balance… “To B A Winner”

Saturday, August 21, 2021

Chronicle 051 ~To B A Winner~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is that enough? Should I look up a trillionaire? Start with getting up on time.

Sure, when it comes to the Day Job that I hate. Earlier in the week, I set my alarms wrong, but I wanted to do something with my life, honest to God. But I made it to the Day Job. When it comes to disparaging myself. Oh no, I mustn’t be late for that. We only started talking, Luna, but how long will it be before I say something ugly about myself, I ask you? I killed my son. There it is, and how long has it been since I said that? We’re on Day 202. Living with Betrayal, Ninth Circle Treachery. I didn’t tell you last week about PetSmart. I’m sure I told one of the girls and Carolina Bound. Saturdays, PetSmart brings dogs.

I love Braxton. B III can’t be replaced. I can do my best Yoda impression or perhaps Mace Windu “he’s too old.” Of course, I’m talking about the dogs, more like he’s too big, hmm. B III spoiled me for small dogs and, in particular, Chihuahuas. An acquaintance offered me one, but you don’t start a conversation with “Where do you live.” Trust No One. Dammit, we’re not even having this conversation. I could find something else to do today. Yesterday I finally got to my Inbox. I could write about “Soulmates.” Finish a book. Think about my finances. Everyone’s predicting the end of days with OnlyFans. The new rules. It’s not like I made a dime. My mourning did cost me a pretty penny.

Not in a good way either, considering me being a monk and all and then not. I swear, everyone figured 2021 was going to be a new start. I’d kill to have 2020. Braxton was lived. But now, there is my fear of leaving the house. Agoraphobia; my Walmart accident. There’s what I was working on yesterday when everything I do should be for Braxton. Lady Luna, do I ever want to sign my name again to take on another life? After my B III. In the end, it doesn’t matter what I do. I write and never publish. Take my clothes off and so much for “Stuff And Thangs.” The one I love dies. It’s lonely at the top, but To B A Winner.

202 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 050 ~So A B-Story’s Place~

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If I could tell you where I belong, it would be on a bestseller list, back in my bed, or lying on the couch as Braxton took a nap from guarding me. I want to believe he’s in a better place, but we were a package deal. “So A B-Story’s Place”

Friday, August 20, 2021

Chronicle 050 ~So A B-Story’s Place~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I really need to read another billionaire’s life story? I don’t read my own.

That’s a damn insult with me spending 201 Days writing about B. Blogging every day. I’ve written two 50,000 page books. One for my ongoing “Cherry” series and B’s story. I read A Dog’s Purpose after Braxton’s death but couldn’t continue with more lost furries. Braxton will always have a place here, but I’ve been stuck on Sunday, January 31, 2021. Hmm, maybe that’s why I’m into time travel. I’ve stopped doing it myself when it comes to my writing. That’s me being lazy. Besides that, I’m between being all-in on The Tomorrow War on Amazon. And finishing The Great De-evolution. Now there’s The Theta Patient and The Theta Timeline by Chris Dietzel. Trying to make history better. No, Lady Sophia, I’m not a Republican.

Like M Anime, though, I can’t say I’m a fan of the other side either. I talked about ranting to Braxton yesterday. I swear it’s the same story every single day. Some rich white guy or Republican escaping justice. There are only so many times you can see that story.

Meanwhile, if I want to see more stories of the horrors of the world, “Soulmates.” Next to seeing Braxton in his own bed, dying on that hospital table, geez. When I turn off the lights, I keep thinking I will bump into Reyansh or Anaisha’s dead bodies. A horrific crime. Ain’t like they didn’t warn the viewers. No fine print. In the aftermath, they wrote, “while you were watching this film, a girl was raped.”

If we were to talk about all my views on sex that I’ve written and when they’ll come out… “A good question – for another time.” I’d rather talk about Onlyfans expelling “explicit sexual content” come October. I’m not much to look at Lady Sophia but damn, a bit much. While I’m busy quoting “The Force Awakens,” how about “Serenity.” “I’m not going to live there. There’s no place for me there.” What I mean by that is who I am. I always feel like I’m in the way. At most, I’m some filler story for someone. At least, a few wasted words, a joke, not to be remembered at all. Considering the Day Job, I hope so. But my son? So A B-Story’s Place

201 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 049 ~A Bark Named Braxton~

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Well, I’m saving a mess load of trees by not going through with publishing. I’m not annoying my neighbors, but I’ve cussed many men out for talking about B. And should I balk, bark, and bitch about that movie Soulmates? A Bark Named Braxton

Thursday, August 19, 2021

Chronicle 049 ~A Bark Named Braxton~

200 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know I buy fries as much for myself as I do for you, B.

If you were anyone else, what would I say? Today was terrible, horrible, it sucked? As usual, “Humiliations Galore.” I bring food home, and we both stuff our faces, and then I drift off to sleep. On any given afternoon, I crawl into bed. You hold back the world, B. By the time I wake up, we would talk about any number of things. Last night I watched the Gofobo film festival. There was one film, “Soulmates.” I’ve viewed some disturbing leanings but damn, Braxton. With trying to forget about that (and I shouldn’t, nor should anyone else). I ended up voting for “Don’t Forget To Tip.” Speaking of voting, you remember how I ranted. YouTube SIGH. I’m pretty much a crazy man now that you aren’t here to listen.

Of course, what do I call this then? I didn’t even take my nap today. Too busy crying. It’s been 200 days, and I even said I was going to cry plenty today. Once this AM, then when I was on my way back. I ain’t going to lie, once at the Day Job, then while I was sitting here. How I wish I could be all romantic, dramatic, and melancholy crying into your book. I tell you this B III, trees are a lot safer with me around than you. If you could have seen the backyard, I was literally growing trees. The last time the yard looked decent… Saturday, January 30, 2021, B III. Your last walk besides going to your water bowl.

I wish I had your strength and I could get your book published. Hell, I can’t even walk downstairs most days and set myself to write or indeed edit. “My Turn to B III” yeah. Only in my dreams, and I did dream about you Wednesday. All the visions I have written out. But I knew that I was dreaming when I saw you. You didn’t bark. What’s to interpret? I’ll leave that to others when I get around to getting my tattoo. Yeah, I can see you giving me that look. It was as if you could read between the lines. Worthless words. Braxton, you had paws for a reason. Your barks are worth more than most voices. Speaking of A Bark Named Braxton.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 048 ~B Rating My Tears~

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My father would kick my ass for crying. I don’t remember the last time I cried, and it wasn’t about B III. 199 days now, and every single one, there have been some tears. At least it’s a moment in time I’m not sleeping my life away. B Rating My Tears

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Chronicle 048 ~B Rating My Tears~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be making a good start if my tears cost a dollar at least.

A penny for my thoughts, but I’m not The Band Perry. If I Die Young, no such luck. I’m an old man Inspector Echo and once again repeating myself, so was Braxton. But he is always my baby. Every thought, well okay, that’s a lie but plenty, bring the waterworks. The same week I was finishing an A.J. Markham novel; I also read The Last Astronaut by Chris Dietzel. Short story made shorter, it’s about a man fleeing into space because of a cat. THEY say no one can hear you scream. Now, most of the story people couldn’t or wouldn’t. I know you must be getting sick of me talking about it. Here I am on a Sunday afternoon, knowing What Hurts The Most.

The Band Perry and now Rascal Flatts. If I wanted to cry today, I would listen to He’s My Son. I’ve already had my cry session today out of the blue. I should be ashamed when it comes to “Stuff And Thangs.” How about whatever humiliation happened Day Job wise. I’m writing this early after realizing how easy it would be to put up a gallery about Braxton, and I haven’t on Day 199. At least I know what I’ll be crying about on Thursday. 200 Days without Braxton. Tony Baker’s son died. That man’s stronger than me, no doubt. Inspector, he talks about his village but as for me… I wish I had a friend like Subotai from Conan The Barbarian. Cry for me

Inspector, when I’m crying, I’m not sleeping. It took The Last Astronaut decades to think Happy Thoughts about his cat, Bob. In “The Tomorrow War,” Dan got to see his daughter again. Some happy tears for M Anime, who turns thirty-three today, third best friend. Carolina Bound told me that if her husband wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle. She would have walked right back up without him. To have happy tears, I’ll have to remember to fetch the dictionary. Never will be ahem; Happy Emergence Day. Yet, I wonder why I’m not “Successful” for all my blood, sweat, and tears. Does happiness take as much out of you as rage and sadness? If I’m lucky, I won’t go B Rating My Tears.

199 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will