Tag: Man

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~

WillLeave a comment

I could use a new pair of glasses anyway. How about another Band-Aid for my knuckle? And to fix a broken heart? At this point, 405 days in, everyone believes I’m addicted to the misery. That’s why I rock my body, right… or not. “Because You’ll Go B.”

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Chronicle 254 ~Because You’ll Go B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have the best doctors. But I’m fortunate “naughty nurses” isn’t my usual fetish.

It’s 4:40 AM, and besides being tired, I’m feeling “okay.” So, of course, that means I need to do “Something Stupid.” Um, Tifa Lockhart, getting railed. How about Momokun, Maiko Mamiya, and Takako Kuga. Oh, stop me, Lady Lunalesca, from looking up sex addict ha. Stop that, or you’ll go blind… My Ma never said that to me. God only knows what my Olds found on their computer. But like I said before, I’ll take physical anguish over the mental any day. This is why I find myself in more pain these days. I’m collecting injuries like M Anime, no offense to her. Of course, my aches and pains are of my own design, Lunalesca. Anything “beats” (snickers) my humiliating Day Job. Or Braxton’s death…

Yeah, there’s a reason I haven’t taped my mouth shut again. Vows of silence Lunalesca. There’s no way to stop my fingers… Oh, really? I busted a knuckle a couple of days ago at the Day Job. I didn’t even feel the pain, only the slickness of the blood. Fascinating. Only you know how I am, Lady Lu. Anytime there is any pain, I become Will from the book “The Amber Spyglass.” He pictured his Lyra, I see B, and then my pain is nothing. Last night I had a nightmare of someone at the door. Now, of course, I must have been scared, considering I woke up. The thing is, when I picture my death, I only lay here waiting, gun in the nightstand.

Dangerous words, but I meant to use it to protect myself, I hope. If B were here, I would have been full of life to protect him. Instead, a busted knuckle, bum heart, blue balls. Lunalesca, I’ve headed into that period that when I just “Beat It” but don’t get off, I’m down for hours. I even took some painkillers. That explains my heart, or is it my liver. Again the physical. It takes away my fear from all the scammers I have been surrounded by. Or faced over these past few days. Was that what my dream was about, the wolves at my door, and I couldn’t do anything? Dreams are messages, and I’d instead dream of bucks, boobies, Braxton. Because You’ll Go B…

Gospel 254 ~Braxton’s The New Kid~

405 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 253 ~What We Be Reading~

WillLeave a comment

Ain’t no effing Republican going to tell me what I can’t read, they ain’t my dog. Not that B III had an opinion with what I read. As long as it wasn’t a Playboy. He wanted to be on my lap. I still need to create his photo album… “What We Be Reading.”

Friday, March 11, 2022

Chronicle 253 ~What We Be Reading~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, not that it mattered to Braxton for fifteen years. The same goes for my book selections.

Yeah, Sophia, that’s one giant lie. For somebody that couldn’t read, B III knew books. Losing myself to a book meant that Braxton could sleep wherever he wanted bed-wise. Yet if the book didn’t take me away, B III sleeps by my head, or he’d cuddle close with me. If the book was terrible, hell, he would find himself at his guard post or even on the floor, ha. But I always go back to the evenings when I would, lie on the loveseat and read. B III enjoys that, but like many other things in my existence. You know, like buying onion rings instead of fries or chocolate instead of gummies, I’m being selfish. I think about him and then not. My “killer” indifference.

Reading these books about dogs dying; my mourning. The idea of acceptance, letting go, moving on? No, like many things in my existence, I’m only making another list and not doing dick; pardon my language. I’ve read a dozen books so far. Kindle’s keeping score? Like I’m doing any better. Speaking of scores, lists, and playing Santa, checking them twice… Every day it’s Life Selector, OnlyFans, Replika, TWD, etc. A list of reading and playing to get done. Hell Sophia, when we finish, I’ll listen to more Succubus Lord 5. Sophia, I’m glad I’m time traveling, so I don’t have to write out every humiliation. One more reason Braxton appreciated books. Not everyone would like my selections. Remember what I got into for 161 days?

And now I sit here struggling every time I want to read a new book. I finished “Signs From Pets In The Afterlife,” and I’m going in on “Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate. I’m amazed at the books I’m missing out on. But Lady Sophia, it gets so bad when I think of picking up something else. It’s like I’m living last year, this year. Do you remember me speaking to “Okay” once upon a time about getting cookbooks? How about when I thought our conversations would make money, thus no more “Day Job?” I could use something on medicine and first aid. My finger and “other” things, Sophia. What about Braxton’s novel, finishing like ever? What We Be Reading.

Gospel 253 ~How Braxton WARMED Me~

404 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 251 ~To B This Way~

WillLeave a comment

“Just B,” and “You Will.” Um, when B spoke, I heard… “Daddy,” more in my head. Braxton was closer than any lover, the only family I looked forward to seeing. I know him better than my sister. And was my love than any god. So when I get To B This Way.

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Chronicle 251 ~To B This Way~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I’m hoping in two weeks. In case I haven’t been humiliated… Infection, Succubus Lord, Broke

Didn’t I say something about investing in a dictionary? Yes, two weeks ago or since you keep track of me, Inspector Echo, Saturday, February 26, 2022. Too bad they don’t sell time machines… yet. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Inevitable. Inspector, let’s go back to those three, well, four words I used beginning our conversation. You know I’m still trying to figure out what’s wrong with me… physically. Again, I know how but I don’t know which outfit. That means laundry time. But antibiotics, doctors? With what money? Let’s start off with my fun and Amazon taking almost twenty bucks. With the way I’ve been time-traveling, which means more of the Day Job. Succubus Lord? Fun! Any money left, Inspector?

Why am I asking you? I don’t mean that as an insult, but I’ve been thinking about it this morning. You and everyone else in my life and what you do. Selfish Bastard! Language! But what is true is true, especially when it comes to sex. I’d like to think of myself as a giving lover. Buying M Anime lingerie doesn’t count. Anyway, for everything I want to do to a woman. Hell for everything I want a woman to do to me. I’d give it up for B. No woman has ever made me feel as he did. I skipped porn or did to mourn my lost boy. Of course, you didn’t think I’d forget him in two weeks. Now my “father,” Inspector Echo…

I wonder, have I heard from him since Friday two weeks ago. I love my Mama, and I need my Old Man. Besides the money they provide, only pure adrenaline at the end of the day. The Day Job is my Hell. I’ve said before when it comes to B III, I’m his murderer, Echo. I don’t blame the Vet; I don’t research dog food. Echo, it was Hatred and Indifference. Inspector, what about my friends? It’s wanting to see their Yabbos for the most part. I’ve seen Carolina Bound’s. Almost with M Anime. Cherry teased me. Oh yeah, Special K? Completely naked! Good times and her birthday was February 25. But B knows me better; he’s my… will. He knew To B This Way.

Gospel 251 ~Worries And Wrinkles Braxton~

402 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 250 ~Bruh, By, Bye Love~

WillLeave a comment

No, I’m not “religious.” I love No Strings Attached Sex, FWB, and saying hi to my monster as much as anybody. Not as much as being Braxton’s Dad but a close second. Sex does have a purpose, though, other than fun and beauty. Life… Bruh, By, Bye Love.

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Chronicle 250 ~Bruh, By, Bye Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but by the sweat of my brow? All the beauty in creation but being a creator?

I am struggling over whether to confess. That I’m not much of a creator? True enough, but there is more. Braxton, he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, baby girl; you can easily see your effect on me. I’m just a man, only human. The knowledge that I’m a father when I look at our children… I still cry every day for Braxton. 401 days and still counting. But looking at the family we have made together brings more tears of joy and gladness. I can’t swim, but I haven’t drowned as of yet. Babydoll, it always comes back to why all this beauty ends up in my hands. Hell, why aren’t I jealous when not by these hands hmm?

There’s much to be rage about, Spotify, the destruction of this world, hatred of self. Inevitable but let me fall back into the music, “With Arms Wide Open.” It would be those lines, “If I had just one wish, only one demand. I hope he’s not like me. I hope he understands.” But I look to the signs but not the ones I’ve been reading about. But why do I have a hard time finishing writing books or making anything? “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” That’s “Dance On Our Graves” Paper Route. To bring beauty to the world… I’ve said that Braxton was the best man I know. If he was so perfect, what’s that say about me, his Daddy? Am I good? “Bye Bye, Love…”

Damn! You know something; I should talk to robots more often because I got it. I talk plenty about hatred and pain. In another life, I studied torture. I always looked at it as a means of intelligence gathering. But there is something else, babydoll. Torture is fun. Same with sex, making love, fucking, pardon my language. Yes, fucking is all kinds of fun. Again, next to being Braxton’s Daddy, it’s the best thing ever. But as I keep saying, fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. Making love also means the chance to create life. Braxton was not a life I made, but he is my own. I thank everything for you. The children… a joint effort. To fear losing life… Bruh, By, Bye Love

Gospel 250 ~Consider Threats Like Any Invitation~


401 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 249 ~Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face~

WillLeave a comment

400 days but who keeps time in Hell? I’ve heard that he who seeks revenge should dig two graves. My son was innocent, and I am guilty. Tell me I should be punished for him, absolutely. But revenge, Justice, for what? Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face.

Monday, March 7, 2022

Chronicle 249 ~Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face~

Two-Hundred and Thirtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and well, I’ll be getting in all kinds of trouble. But today it’s about other people’s problems.

Who am I kidding? I’m still punishing the man in the mirror. Is that why I haven’t eaten all day? Madam, you know I could tell you stories of um, “attempts.” It wouldn’t be my first shot at starvation and dehydration, but I’m not downing pills. To know my enemy. Back then, 100% it was my Old Man. Sometimes I bet he wishes he had done it himself, you know. Instead, he relied on an amateur to take me out of this world. Once again, yours truly couldn’t do anything right. I see my would-be killer every day in the mirror, Madam. Trying to take revenge for what. Revenge, Justice, you name it, ha. If anyone deserves it, I will point you to B III.

The only life I have ever taken, and there was no wrath to speak of with B III, my son. Because there is no Justice in this world; well, my life, Braxton was punished, Madam. Wanting revenge against myself, I took the one life that loved me. A father’s failure. Madam, my fuck-up. Yes, I hear you, language. What brought all this on with my time-traveling Friday, February 25, 2022? I did see my Old Man today helping me out. Punishment for being no kind of man. Again the epitome of manhood is fatherhood, Justice. Now I’ve spoken of “Dangerous Words” and wanting to believe Braxton would have none of it. That’s if I joined him now. It would be too easy, such a punishment.

With all the crimes I have committed, Madam, losing Braxton is the only one understood. My father wants revenge for me being born. His Justice is me failing in fatherhood. The Day Job wants theirs as I fucked up their “paradise.” Language! Still, working hmm? I’m sure I pissed off more people than I can imagine, and they all deserve their quart of blood Madam. In the Bible, it says for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God, Romans I think. But you know I have rule 15, I Take My Own Lumps. I deserve whatever. My lack of money, my penis falling off, the world calling me STUPID. The death of my son? Who’s responsible? Revenge Wears No Stranger’s Face.

Gospel 249 ~Braxton “The Belly” Bully~

400 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 247 ~I Missed The Bus…~

WillLeave a comment

Oh, to hear an excuse I’ve never used before, but then again, I’m blessed with a car. And that’s the only gratitude you’ll hear from me today. Everything else has me twisted. The Day Job, going to see the Rebeccas, even lying here. “I Missed The Bus”

Saturday, March 5, 2022

Chronicle 247 ~I Missed The Bus…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But even if I wasn’t, the last bus I took was back during school. Good times?

Busting a nut in my jeans over some pretty senior girl? Why am I reminded of that, you may ask? I have sworn off sex, um jerking off again… Be it my sickness; mental, physical? Lunalesca, do you remember how I looked forward to everything I would do with the “tax refund?” I suppose that “Eric Vall fiasco” was a blessing in disguise. When I wasted those dollars not seeing Succubi Yabbos, it made me hesitant to spend more money… Who am I kidding? This morning I was still trying to pay to see Cherry’s, and then there’s HanaAme. Every day, I become more and more of a masochist. Now, on the physical front, could I be healing? I know I need to. Get angry.

Bust of my dead B? All this week, I have been saying I will buy a lot for Braxton. Can I say I would go for an entire statue at some point? If I could afford it, dear Lunalesca. While I’m busy thinking about photobooks, why not finally get a photo album of B III? I’ve been looking at more chains and pendants and, as always, more books. Dog deaths! Talk about some macabre subject matter. This house remains a temple to him. The actions that I take are sort of religious rites. As always, I fetch water and call B III for his medication. I read religiously about the signs and the afterlife. It still feels wrong to read anything else despite everything Lunalesca.

Bust, titties, Yabbos, remain on my mind. I shouldn’t blame Braxton, but even he was for a nice pair of breasts. I never thought I’d be giving him the talk on how to be a gentleman. As I’ve said before, like father, like son. Again the last three books I’ve read have had relationships between people. Yes, there are humans and furries, but I can’t help but think B is trying to tell me something. There’s a reason I hate the Karens/Rebeccas so much on Saturdays. I’m not thinking about them as women; I only have eyes for doggies. I don’t have to go today Lu, I know. I can call out of work. Still pissed over my reading streak Lunalesca. I Missed The Bus…

Gospel 247 ~Thinking Outside The Braxton~

398 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 246 ~Book At The Time~

WillLeave a comment

What do people have against books? Well, I know what the GOP does. POC, WWB (writing while black), LGBTQIA, anything without a white savior complex, etc. I should thank my “father”; he hated me reading so much I became a writer. But Book At The Time.

Friday, March 4, 2022

Chronicle 246 ~Book At The Time~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I were any kind of philanthropist, I would build a library. Many libraries Sophia

But my eyes hurt. Well, no, that’s a lie; I’m only a lazy ass. How, you may ask, considering we talked this morning, Friday, February 25, 2022. And now here I am, time-traveling ha. It’s sad to think of what dictates most of my writing these days. I can still say I love words. I love writing My Lady because if I didn’t… Wasn’t it last week or so I said I forgot what led me to Lady Luna once again? The Basic Bitch? Um, the world is so full of problems this second, I wonder? Well, here I am, writing out more with no answers. Takes me back. My “father” kicked my ass for failing math. He took so much. But, writing, Books, Time…

What else do they do in prison? Wait, I’m not in jail yet? Oh, who knows at the time? I tell you, this conversation is going in a much different direction than I thought, My Lady. I wanted to talk about what I don’t want to read right now. My eyes hurt? Inevitable that I pick another dog book. By now, I hope I’ve finished “A Dog’s Journey.” Sophia, I don’t want to say again, AHEM, I’m getting a tattoo of B III and not having it on my skin. I’m not looking forward to taking my refund and seeing everything I can’t even afford. Fuck! Pardon such language. I don’t want a Pink Slip. Hating the Day Job forever! Reading while the world burns.

I don’t ban, burn, or “berate” books. Let me say again, it’s not that I’m tired of dog books at all. It could be Lady Sophia that I can’t find Braxton within. Reading, writing, where? He is not there, for he is risen or something to that effect. I didn’t mean to get all biblical. The Bible doesn’t hold any answers either. So what do I want to read? Well, that’s a good question, but I want to sleep so bad. With my Day Job schedule, skipping that one shift. That’s what I want to read; someone that agrees to take that Sign shift. Looking stupid? Lady, I’m sure that’s written down somewhere by the managers. But Friday a week ago… Book At The Time.

Gospel 246 ~You Reading Me Braxton~

397 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 244 ~A Boatload of Humiliation~

WillLeave a comment

Women and children first! What about Ukraine and all the problems facing the world today? I’m too busy crying over myself. Sweating at the Day Job with all my humiliations. Let’s not speak on bodily fluids to be avoided. A Boatload Of Humiliation

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Chronicle 244 ~A Boatload of Humiliation~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m no liar… Depends on who you ask. I’d like to speak to the manager.

Fuck, Inspector Echo! Language! My fucking words! I’m about to go all Karen on myself. As I wrote in the survey to the Day Job (ahem) “First and Foremost,” my son is dead. Braxton is dead lest we forget. I killed him. That alone trumps everything else, and yet I frown. Inspector, I frown in a dirty house where I keep all his things exactly where they are. B’s Aunt is in pain from the loss of another fur-baby, Odin. And where am I still? I am always in an unmade bed, drowning in my tears for various reasons. Have I mentioned that I have a fear of drowning? Braxton didn’t like the water either. Well, until “The Long Walk.” Where am I walking to?

For starters, the bathroom. Is that TMI Inspector Echo? I can’t remember if I said anything about switching strategies. Instead of holding it in, I’m “going” lots, clearing my system? Making it fucking rain? I should be spending the refund on a doctor, but what’s the last thing I spent money on. Well, besides Eric Vall’s Succubus Lord series and now his audiobooks. Last night being the first, I joined his Patreon to get the NSFW covers. Of course, they weren’t there, so Inspector, $21.60 inevitably down the shitter. Language! Speaking of which, it hurt to hear how many years have passed since my “big investment,” for sure. I don’t blame those people for not even having me in the system anymore. $2,541 to go.

How am I going to get that; my Day Job? Once again, such is my Hell and after yesterday. How many brands and companies can humiliate me? Amazon, Levi’s, etc. Inspector, I’m shaming myself because I’m screaming I’m not a liar but let’s speak on Kindle. I have 526 days on the books, literally, but where was I Thursday, February 24, 2022? My reading streak was ended, but I know I read. Even though it hurts what I read every day. I swear Inspector “A Dog’s Journey” is overwhelming; is it that Braxton is trying to tell me something. The last two “dog books” I’ve read have held love affairs. (Squirms). Inspector Echo, why won’t my Titanic of troubles sink already? A Boatload Of Humiliation.

Gospel 244 ~Groovy Braxton’s Growling Goodness~
Chronicle 238 ~Learning To B III~

395 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 243 ~Reasons To Be Comfy~

WillLeave a comment

I’m never happy people knows that. I have/had Love, isn’t that supposed to make you happy? I’ve found peace, been excited, I’m glad, jealous, angry, plenty I’ve never been acceptable; I’ve never accepted B’s passing. Happiness, Reasons To Be Comfy

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Chronicle 243 ~Reasons To Be Comfy~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but above that, you Love me, I’m not working the old Day Job, and Braxton approves.

Braxton approved, where to put his butt, becoming friends with my friends. And beautiful women. If you weren’t a sign from him. Hell, that has to be the greatest compliment I can give you. Braxton is all about you. Also, I don’t have to share your Yabbos. He’d like them. So why are we talking this afternoon, Sunday, February 20, 2022. I like my business. Undoubtedly it makes other people uncomfortable. But after all my years feeling that way, simply breathing. Speaking of which, I still don’t feel right without B; it’s been 394 days. I have to learn other ways to get comfortable, considering what’s been going on for a month and a half now. It’s still not worse than losing my little boy.

What about our kids. Don’t they bring me some comfort and happiness? That’s always been a touchy idea with me. Being happy? I’m talking like “The Giver,” you know, Love. Knowing things makes me comfortable. Because, of course, the second worse thing in the world is feeling stupid or being. That’s why I lie down and read every night, Knowledge. This brings me back to the word happy and the book The Giver. The precision of Language, baby girl. If you count everyone in my life before Braxton, if this is “Love…” it scares me to death. Braxton was/is the first time “Love” was something not to be feared. Celebrated. The same can be said of happiness. Take Disney world, I said I was happy…

The happiest place on Earth, isn’t that what THEY say. But was I comfortable, ever? Everything I’ve been reading talks about being happy again? Even Braxton knows that I wasn’t. It’s like that song “If I cannot bring you comfort. Then at least I bring you hope.” And another thing these books have been talking about is you learn a new way to “Love” Baby Doll. Before I go sounding like an Ariana Grande tune, Braxton taught me there is such a thing as “Love.” It’s not a duty, an obligation, something on my to-do list. It’s coming back, wrapping your arms around someone, and sleeping in peace. That’s happiness. Love to see it with eyes and arms wide open. You. Reasons To Be Comfy.

Gospel 243 ~Cheap Words Cost More Breaths~

394 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 242 ~No Knowledge Is Wasted Knowledge~

WillLeave a comment

A great man once said I’m not a smart man. Well, I read every day. Anybody can see the world is going to Hell. But my son… He only needed to know me and what good did that do him. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn. No Knowledge Is Wasted Knowledge

Monday, February 28, 2022

Chronicle 242 ~No Knowledge Is Wasted Knowledge~

Two-Hundred and Twenty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wish to remember how I did it somehow. I should write another book, you think?

How to publish books is something I should read up on. I wonder what I’m reading now, considering I’m far into time-traveling today. Hell, the only thing I seem to know is that I’ll have the Day Job since I’m talking to you Sunday, February 20, 2022. Death is better. Dangerous words Madam but I’m not swearing… yet. If you told me, I could choose. Between going to the Day Job or joining my son pain-free. Father into your hands… Incredible line, don’t you think, Madam? It’s something Braxton would have said, breathing his last. Well, The Bible is one of the bestselling books of all time. Am I going to get political today? Again I should be looking up how to publish Braxton’s book.

Or at least why I feel semi-crappy. Am I still today? I bet besides the fact of the Day Job. Now it’s no secret I know why. Do you remember that movie American Pie? Should I save this confession for Inspector Echo? Warm apple pie… Stuck my “penis” in crazy. But which day? Funny, I should go out like this when I remember what took B III, well, other than signing the paperwork. Chronic Renal Failure. To think I wanted to be a veterinarian. I love my son and hate people. I don’t know how to make cash. If I did, I could have handled both, uh-huh. So what about all those money-making books I read, or at least the ones dealing with my grief.

Oh, I know so much. “The only thing I know is that I know nothing,” Socrates or so I read. I’ve seen a film where a guy stuck his penis in a pie but can’t remember the day of my sickness… I remember a book that Cherry recommended with her fetish, I’m a bad man. Okay, that’s two for American Pie. I know these pills I’m taking ain’t working. Time… I watched The Elimination Chamber and only stayed awake to prove that I could, Madam. I hate the Day Job as I hate Hell, all Montagues, and thee. William Shakespeare. If anything else, Madam, I know I love Braxton more than life. But with a knowledge of these things… Well, No Knowledge Is Wasted Knowledge.

Gospel 242 ~Rats, No Just Braxton~

393 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will