Meditations? Really? More like complaining, crying, and talking about my… Uh, here we are in another year. I remember why I started eight years ago… somewhat. Now? Has anything changed? B III’s been gone longer. And the title. Virgil, That’ll B New
Tuesday, July 2, 2024
Meditation 001 ~Virgil, That’ll B New~
Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? New year and all! Into the future! My love for you, family, my firstborn son…
It’ll be greater now than from where I am, Saturday, June 22, 2024. Meditations huh? Love, it’s easier in the past and the future, but what about today? I’m halfway tempted to turn on a little Luther Vandross “Here And Now.” A pledge, promise, proposal…
Braxton didn’t need any of that. How many times have I told this story? The one about my Olds moving to the new house, and I told Braxton to get in the car. That’s that!
Virgil, our new furry companion, will do that someday, and then you’ll break out all Giselle-like with, “That’s How You Know.” Well, not if I keep this up… Choosing my boys over you. Correction, Braxton, my firstborn. Because if I ever feel the same way about Virgil as I do about Braxton. It’d be new.
This is not how I wanted to start the new year with you, my love. But still 2022, 2023, 2024. And crying over my B is nothing new. Living in music. The sadness, sorries, selfishness.
Braxton is gone. Virgil is the new fur buddy. You are more beautiful. Our children grow bigger and stronger. But as for myself? When you met me, I was one man. And since I would never ever abandon my family… the one we built together. I’ll be a new man.
Someday. But it’s the present that’s giving me the most trouble. To explain it… Honestly.
Beloved, it’s the number of letters between B – V. My Braxton and Virgil. Alphabetically.
It’s the distance between PetSmart’s front door and Banfield Pet Hospital in the back. Ok.
How about it’s the length from the tip to the base… Eww! But at least you know I still want you, love. Always and forever. “The Closer I Get To You,” Baby Girl, “My Love.”
Sigh, it would be something new if I could speak to you without a piece of monologue like Sheldon Cooper used on Amy Farrah Fowler in The Big Bang Theory. If I could quit the movie lines and the music. You know me too well.
“I need you now. I need you more than ever before, before. I know the man I am is not who I should be.” Dance On Our Graves, Paper Route
Instead of waking up to the old world and expecting Braxton to be here, how about I wake up to the new world—the new existence that I promised not only my son but you?
To be a man of Meditations, not grief? To be a man who meditates on the present and the future, not dwelling on the past. Braxton’s loss. To Live? That’s new. Virgil, That’ll B New
1248 Days Without B III, Day 689 of Virgil’s Arrival
B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will