Tag: Hell

Saga 115 ~Vote, Make The Revolution Easier~

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28 Days or 28 Days Later? A bad infection or Virgil’s first checkup here, his nails… I’m no good. A woman and her feathery friend that makes me smile. Or the woman that got me hard. Dem or GOP? B III or 2V? Choices. “Vote, Make The Revolution Easier”

Monday, October 24, 2022

Saga 115 ~Vote, Make The Revolution Easier~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as long as I keep my billions, all is well. I am always a selfish bastard.

At least, that’s what I called myself this morning, Sunday, October 16, 2022. I wonder what B thinks of me now, some 631 days later. What about V? He’ll be 2 when you read this. All the money I’ve been spending and why? The song says, “I choose me, and I know that’s selfish, love.” Does that mean I love myself? Again this is Hell, and I’m a demon. Madam, that’s something else I have been saying these past couple of weeks. True. All morning I’ve been reading about tragedies. The fact that I never come back and read these things is the only reason I can mention Eco Sister @hitaylorblake, Amouranth, and the world in general. The horror. We all have choices; shout praises?

A thousand choices shout praises… if I remember the book right. The Cure by Sonia Levitin. Should I make a choice to reread it? Something to do this Sunday. Madam, I don’t get a vote, veto, or a voice in nearly every span of my existence; I only go. When I first met Triple B, I didn’t get a choice to love him or not. No, I only left, and love got me. To sing you another song, “We found love in a hopeless place.” But to die alone? Do you want to hear my confession? I’m well aware you’re not Inspector Echo, but… have I talked about this before? It turns me on to read about women’s tragedies somewhat. Those of explicit nature, especially

But I can choose not to engage. Even no vote is a vote. But then, why not die? I’ll leave. Again I was talking to the Man in the Mirror this morning, and I don’t love myself. Not at all. So I vote. Do I choose Triple B or Triple X? The fact we’re talking, and my pants are on… At this rate, I’m out of meds by now. So do I decide to keep fighting or help Virgil Vivi? I was looking at his nails this AM, and I’m a fiend for letting them grow like this. My God! Oh yeah, there is the whole country going to shit. I won’t be voting Republican. But boobs/yabbos, the thirst wins. Vote, Make The Revolution Easier

631 Days Without B III, Day 072 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 111 ~Won’t B Long Virgil~

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Happy Birthday, Virgil!!! I haven’t said that out loud. I have to remember to say his name a few times a day. He was “Archie” for a year and 9 months. Hasn’t been Virgil for 3 months. And how long has it been since picking up B … Won’t B Long Virgil.

Thursday, October 20, 2022

Saga 111 ~Won’t B Long Virgil~

627 Days Without B III, Day 068 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I suppose I should ask Virgil that; it is his birthday, after all. He’s 2.

You remember Braxton how I would rail about politics. Hell! I should go watch porn. Braxton, I gave you a real time-out when I killed you 627 days ago. That isn’t even remotely funny, I know. Do you wish I would stop saying that? No politics or porn, but Petsmart? Mark this day in your calendar, well, yesterday, anyway. I went to Petsmart to the back. Banfield Hospital, and set up Virgil Vivi’s first appointment since he’s been here. Not today. Braxton, V’s first appointment will be next week. In the middle of another horrible one. If I had done that for you, you might still be alive. I’m trying B, honest. I was almost in tears yesterday. And not one has been shed today.

Give it time. Virgil doesn’t know about the appointment, age, or the aches and pains of this life. Who am I to say that? Besides being a lazy ass when coming to talk to you, I was also doing some research. What? I’m not for the GOP. Now you B, on the other hand, Build the Wall; well, at least the fence around the yard. And you hated everybody, my little misanthrope. Like father, like son, but I hope you made time yesterday to say hi to your aunt. Better yet, scratch that. Her anniversary and all. I’d say you killed my sex life, but we both know that ain’t true. I was busy trying to diddle the maid. I can’t talk to her either.

Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, research. There was a time I believe that Virgil was born in February. Giving credence to your reincarnation. But again, V’s paperwork today. I want to say he’s 14 in human years, but from what I read today, he’s closer to 24. What am I to do with that, you know? But you know what makes me a horrible person, B III? It’s the fact that I WAS thinking V was closer to death. Don’t get me wrong, Triple B, I’m not a… what, murderer? No harm will come to him, but I don’t love him. With you, it was love you B, love you, Braxton. With Virgil, it’s LATER; his appointment, his birthday, and having his own things. Won’t B Long Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 109 ~B’s Vigil Of Virgil~

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I’ve said it so many times; I love B’s eyes. If he’s looking down on me or up at me somewhere, well… I want to be better. If he isn’t reincarnated as Virgil. Then for his V’s sake, B wishes I could have such love. Or such cash. “B’s Vigil Of Virgil.”

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Saga 109 ~B’s Vigil Of Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could get one of those animal communicators. I know they’re not that much.

But speaking of wasting money on me instead of spending it on caring for my family, love. I’m the one that’s taking a pill at 8:00 at night instead of Braxton. Even some 625 days in, I still go and shake his pill bottles and call to him. Who am I talking to, you know? I’m sure V would like to know. I tried doing it while he was outside. But I need to watch over him. And that’s the thing, isn’t it? Someone to watch over me as THEY say, isn’t it? Why do you think I’m worried about my health now? A man provides for his family, right? But other than the “Dollar dollar bill, y’all.” Well, I’m no angel fluttering from above.

Hell! I’m not even the prince on a white horse. I want to be all you want me to be, baby girl. I want to be someone that our kids can look up to today. “What Makes a Good Man?” I’ve never been that baby doll. How about what makes a man, period? Today and of course, I’m time traveling. It’s Wednesday, October 12, 2022. Anyway, I’ve told everyone I would yell at some doctors today. Have I? I hate confrontation. When we’re done talking, who knows? I didn’t even take a nap today, and why? Worried, War, and for the week so far, no Wanking. So why not make love to you? Why not stare at Virgil, figuring him out? Best Friend, Kid, Protector…

Is Braxton looking at me from on high or down below or wherever barking to himself? “Daddy, why don’t you love them the way you love me?” Husband, Father, Friend. Braxton could be looking at me through his eyes, wanting to know what’s wrong today. If there is a God, counting up all my sins today alone must be no small task to be sure. I’m somewhat surprised I haven’t heard from my Olds. I’m sure I would give my Ma access to my accounts. That leads me back to today and who I should be fighting with again over all this money. I’m not rushing to see more of Hell. I got you on your throne and my firstborn somewhere. B’s Vigil Of Virgil

625 Days Without B III, Day 066 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 108 ~Remember, Be The 10th Man~

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I’m not a man of faith or a GOP politician. History doesn’t lie if you want it. Yet, for my failures, B refused to go along with everyone and believed I would make a change. And Virgil nearing two is too young. But I “Remember, Be The 10th Man.”

Monday, October 17, 2022

Saga 108 ~Remember, Be The 10th Man~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and though that’s a small group, it’s still a group where anything is possible, but Madam… (sigh).

Well, every Sunday, as a matter of fact, this is Sunday, October 9, 2022, time travel. But, Madam, I write down six things I want to accomplish. Six Impossible Things, right? How many times have I completed the list? B would be ashamed of me. Or B III should be. Hell! My son was/is The 10th Man. He believed in me when no one else ever did. And in a way, he has you and the other girls beat. Don’t forget the Man in the Mirror. Only we’ll get to him. You love me despite all my failures. Now so does Braxton, but his faith. Braxton believed and did everything he could to help. He was an old man. Virgil will be two on Thursday.

It hasn’t been three months yet. I’ve been talking about having no idea what Virgil Vivi wants from me all day. It ain’t riding in the car to get tacos. Sorry, Virgil. Today I’m not… That’s the thing, Madam “I’m Not.” People have given up on me. It’s not like many believed in the first place. Only I’m thirty-eight, sitting here worried about medications. I might as well be in a “home.” My GOP Tendencies say I’m another worthless black. Um, I was going to use another word, but I bet I’d get hit for it. These words, these words. I’m a writer. I’m somebody. But every day, if I’m not crying over Braxton, I’m watching the success of others. In the end, I’m going to die alone. If so…

Well, why not die believing as no one else does, regardless? I mean, who’s left to care if I believe I can write books, own a brothel, and have some good girl to make babies? Family. With that, I want to believe that V is my Braxton… cut to him falling off the porch today. I’m not reading about reincarnation, which I’ve said all day, but Virgil, I don’t know yet. Madam, I believe I disagree with the Man in the Mirror. Be as your father? No, I would instead be like my son. He wasn’t the first to believe, but he was the only one not to give up if “He Lives In You.” Remember, Be The 10th Man.

624 Days Without B III, Day 065 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 104 ~ Virgil’s Resting B Face~

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I wish we could go back to wearing masks. I mean, nothing’s stopping me. Well, three shots, four if you count the doc taking my blood. But that first year, B always recognized me mask and all. And in 2022, Virgil looks at me? Virgil’s Resting B Face.

Thursday, October 13, 2022

Saga 104 ~ Virgil’s Resting B Face~

620 Days Without B III, Day 061 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As always, your guess is as good as mine when it comes to this day.

Once again, Braxton, I’m time-traveling. But I will never forget the face you made when I’d come back. I’m trying hard not to cry today or give myself any reason to close my eyes. Blinking? I still do that plenty when I think I see you. Hell! It was only this morning when I called for you to take your medicine. We’ll get to me taking mine or the lack of meds in a minute. Only today is Saturday, October 8, 2022. But if there is one thing I know for sure, when it comes to 620 days, “I’ll Be Seeing You.” That sounds ominous. I mean, B, I’ll always see you everywhere I go, forever and always. Most of all, I’m protecting your spots.

Oh, what about your pillow? I wish I could have seen my face then. Now that’s strange coming from me, who avoids mirrors. To take a good look right now, B, all then and now. I’ve been worried about if the medicine is changing me. I’m sure I had a smidge of hope before. Today, I’m fearful. Three pills left. I only got a week’s supply to beat this infection. Do you remember how I became? Whenever you were running out of meds? The first time I almost killed you. Of course, that vet we hated was the one that saved your life. Maybe Braxton… Yeah, I got the thought that he could have saved you 620 days ago. Tears…

Not many days go without me crying over you. It’s not like Virgil is watching. And to further jinx myself. V hasn’t been hacking up all over the place. I wonder, has anything changed for him, for you? Today is one of those that I don’t believe but come Thursday? All I know is I looked into his eyes today, and you know what I saw. There was only black. I didn’t see myself or his happiness. To this day, I remember the last look in your eyes, Braxton. Why? Virgil’s face has those two tan furry patches beside his eyes. The color of you. Are you trying to tell me something, Braxton? I might be better served looking in the mirror. He Lives In You. Virgil’s Resting B Face

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 102 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies~

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I’m a sucker for pain, yet I look at it strangely. I can’t stand seeing B and V hurt. I hate hunting but respect farms for animals. Women must be respected, but I’m a fan of X-Rated. But I’m paying for the doc. Not for Braxton’s And Virgil’s Ouchies.

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Saga 102 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but another truth is this. I’m just a “Sucker For Pain,” my love. Sadist, no doubt.

But when I’m talking about Braxton and now Virgil… Again I’m a selfish bastard. Why? Because I didn’t allow Braxton to hurt anymore? Yeah, baby doll, I’m back on these books about dead fur babies. Euthanasia. I couldn’t stand to see Braxton like that. Dying. Looking away, though, was never an option. To see the most beautiful thing and ugliest. Now I look at little Virgil here. I’ll have to go out despite anything and everything. An empty bag, an empty bowl, no. A man provides for his family. I do say that, hmm, love. But while I’m out, there’s something else I need to do, isn’t there? Besides worrying about Virgil’s nails, him getting a bath, an annual checkup? If I wasn’t so lazy.

Or so much of a sadist. Baby girl, I get no pleasure seeing you and the kids like this. To quote another song, “this love is killing me.” Then I would stay, wouldn’t I? If I liked watching what I was doing. Or if I wanted to suffer for it. Even with Braxton. Confession? I usually leave them for Inspector Echo. But the day before B III died, I left the house a bit. I needed to get food. And it wasn’t for Braxton because he wasn’t eating. Would I have let the vet drug him up if I could do it all over again? He could have fries and all his favorites for another few days. I am strange when it comes to pain.

And that’s why I’d be going out to see the doc even if I didn’t have to fetch V’s food. Oh, it isn’t the fact I’m trying to save money. A billionaire that wears jeans and hoodies everywhere. And hates being around most people. Well, with my business exception, ha. Funny, I wanted a business based on Fornication, Flimsy dressing requirements. All so I could have a Family. These things demand medical care. When it came to B III… money. I would have paid anything or gone full John Q. And now, with Virgil’s health care, once again, I’m a prick. With my mental state and the needs of you and our children. What? I should be a masochist, sigh. First, Braxton And Virgil’s Ouchies.

618 Days Without B III, Day 059 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

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I call myself an open book, but I rarely find someone like Braxton, his aunt, etc. And still, I had to hide. I hate the mirror. Or turning a corner in my mind and finding… the illogical, illegal, impossible, and insane. “To Find, Learn To Hide.”

Monday, October 10, 2022

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I’d hide my cash in some underground vault, I’d flaunt it everywhere… Hoodies and jeans.

Hell! I’m like Linus van Pelt from Peanuts. He has his blanket, and I have a hoody, well, several, Madam. I know you’re not Inspector E, so this is no confession. It’s a simple fact. Something else I don’t hide and need not find, like the death of my boy. No, even if it cost me “friends.” I’ll continue to bring up Braxton. I’ve never been one to hide grief. But I do wonder how other people do it. Drugs? By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be off meds. So once again, I’m Time Travelling. Um, it’s Wednesday, October 5, 2022. And being sick? Am I still hiding from it? Have I been cured? And the day in general?

I’m always hiding from the horrors of the day in question. I don’t ever want to find myself back here ever again. Like the song goes, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” I’ve hidden the last good day I ever had so far down I’ll never find it. An impossible thing. Yes, you’re not the Man in the Mirror. Am I hiding from you today? I do apologize for that. I don’t know if you’re helping me or not. I tend to hide from positivity… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are?” Like all my other dreams of writing and of success. I read and listen to many books, yet I can’t find knowledge to save me. I’m buried in STUPID, to be honest. Such is my rage.

I told Inspector Echo today that I tried to put myself in the ground on occasion. The best way to hide from the world is to become part of it. This mind I have won’t let me. And the Sunday before last, this body demanded I do something. I couldn’t hide from the pain anymore. But I don’t want to be found, Madam. If anything, I want to find Braxton. Reincarnation yet again? Where is Virgil? I’m hiding from him, or he’s hiding from me? I’m not sure, Madam. I want to hide from everything. And the things I’m finding… nothing good, Madam. A Republican tendency, hide the good and the bad and get ugly. Sick of hide and seek? To Find, Learn To Hide

617 Days Without B III, Day 058 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 097 ~Virgil, B Missing You~

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B knew his spot on the bed. Virgil’s acquainted with his pillow. I really need to get his nails cut. Yet there was a plague at Petsmart. And with V’s hacking from me petting him. He might die or I might, walking that one aisle. Virgil, B Missing You.

Thursday, October 6, 2022

Saga 097 ~Virgil, B Missing You~

613 Days Without B III, Day 054 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Three guesses as to how my day was. I don’t know yet, with Time Travel.

I don’t remember when I stopped crying over you. Did I cry for you today? Again considering how Thursday went. Today is Friday, September 30, 2022. So not yet, Braxton. I didn’t even nap today to remember how you would lie beside me. Or you would be on guard duty. And Virgil hasn’t been in the mood. Braxton, I’ve been giving him space, B III. Plenty of room. But what if I gave him all the room in the world? Oh, I’m not taking him back to the Rebeccas. I’d like to think I’m a better person than that B III. What do you think? Every day I look at him more and more, and I’m beginning to suspect he ain’t you. Are you lonely?

I don’t know how to broach this subject without having the cops rushing here crazy. Braxton, maybe that’s what my dream was about. The lawman charging in here for me. Silly me, and here I thought it was for a crime. I’m sure I told Lady Sophia or Dear Future Wife something like that today. Hell! The crimes I have committed only today, my friend. As Sade would sing, “Is It A Crime?” I’m a black man living in America, B. I’m sure you don’t miss my political tirades. With “All These Things That I’ve Done.” You remain my worst crime. Your death is a tragedy. Mine would be… nothing. A parent, a dead child… SPOILER ALERT!!! The Cabin at the End of the World.

I don’t know how it will end yet, but I’m close. I see myself as Eric, walking with your body into a lake. You know, the thought of drowning scares me. A true punishment. If I were a man, I would have brought you back here. I’d laid you at the corner of the bed, your guard post. I would have lain in bed and gone to my drawer with the… Well, you know what I’m thinking, and here come the tears now. I’m alone anyway. Braxton, what about Virgil? It ain’t love, and if you’re reading this, then well, veterinarian? If it’s not nerves. V’s birthday and he needs a checkup; to make that walk to Banfield. I’m so lonely. Virgil, B Missing You.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 095 ~B Lonely Virgil And…~

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I don’t remember exactly when I met B III or the day I wasn’t lonely with him here. I was alone For 15 years and 11 months, but I wasn’t lonely. Now’s there, Virgil. We’ve had good days and bad. Um, now I feel lonelier than ever. B Lonely Virgil And…

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Saga 095 ~B Lonely Virgil And…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could have much more than a man cave. A Castle, Colosseum, a Conclave…

I imagine our home is all the above and then some. Why am I under siege? Why are we fighting, or are we two people talking? That’s the whole point, isn’t it? I don’t want to be attacked or to fight. I don’t feel like talking. But I haven’t felt like talking since Sunday, January 31, 2021. And I’ve been much too tired since Tuesday, January 11, 2022. I know. Yeah, it’s all about B. It’s been 611 days now. And with V, we’re on day 52, my love. Hell! Why don’t I see a doctor since The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? 10 months? Fuck! Pardon my language, but what would be the lonely equivalent of such a word? Never mind, don’t answer that, love.

Another point. How can I be lonely when I have love in my heart? Well, what’s left of it anyway. And I don’t want to turn into a “Christian” and go all love endures… everything. I’m more of one for the movies. I love a dead man. Is that perhaps too vague? I’m a bit like Trinity from “The Matrix.” I love my boy, Braxton. Neo was the one, remember? Braxton, I’ll admit, is a better name, though. I can’t forget it, which brings me to Virgil Vivi Bradford. I constantly remind myself to say his name when I’m not saying B III’s for everything. Then there’s everyone and everything I love, and I feel lonely today. I wonder why?

I have you, my love, my baby doll. And yet I wake up so cold. Brr! Yes, the air conditioner is still good. But I have about as much faith in it as I have in B III being reincarnated. Hell! I can be all wrapped up with you, and I’m sure the kids would like to join us too. Only I’m in no mood. Well, considering it’s Friday, September 30, 2022. Time Travel, sigh. I could go get Virgil, but I know how that would end. He’d be hacking away like I’m the worst person ever. I’ve never made that a secret. And with you and our children? My love? I know I’m not a good one anymore, right? A dick, depressed, depraved. Mr. Lonely, B Lonely Virgil, And…

611 Days Without B III, Day 052 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

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I can’t say I see good people daily. I know I’m no damn good despite those 2 “things” at Petsmart. Adopting Virgil and running out to a lady that forgot a bag. No earthly good at all. With what I see. Evil Prevails Despite Good People.

Monday, October 3, 2022

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

Two-Hundred and Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not a good person. Well, at least all the billionaires I know are evil.

Which isn’t to say the poor can’t be evil. I’d still be me even if I didn’t have a dime to my name. Yes, I’m saying I’m broke and evil. As far as being a better person. I miss Braxton. Here come the tears today, Tuesday, September 27, 2022. “Make Me Wanna Die,” or instead cry, as I doubt I didn’t wake up in Hell. Well, a part of it anyway. Then there’s V. Madam; I want to do right by him, I swear. Yet I’ve said why he got his name, Virgil. He’s a good boy, a good man considering he’s going on two in October. Did I mention how much I hate paperwork? It told me his age and everything. Braxton being reincarnated…

Anyway, his name yet again. Virgil for the man who led Dante through the Inferno. Vivi, for the black mage child who stood against evil in Final Fantasy IX. Pornography? Madam, that’s how easy it is. I think Final Fantasy and then, well… If I had a dollar for every piece of Final Fantasy XXX I own. Oh, and it gets worse if we talk about other games. In case you’re wondering why I’m so late finishing this conversation today. Two words Madam, NERDY GIRLS. Wondering what I’ll tell the PERV in the Mirror Sunday. I hope it’s not that I wasted more money. No matter where the cash goes at the end of the day, I’m afraid that the evil I am will remain.

For good people like Braxton’s Aunt and M Anime, I can’t fault Cherry for not wanting to bring more children into this world. Then I turn back to Little Virgil on his pillow. Well, one of Braxton’s anyway. I know good people but dogs are the best for sure. Hell! This entire existence is based on the idea if I ever had enough money, power, and women, I could be a good man. How many times have I said fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But again, I know fathers, and I know billionaires. It doesn’t make you good. FEAR Madam. The truth, like Braxton, the thought of living without it… Just be less evil… I can try because, Madam. Evil Prevails Despite Good People

610 Days Without B III, Day 051 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will