Tag: Noise

Gospel 302 ~What’s The B Ending~

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I had no idea how bad Wednesday was going to be. The last one that was so… heinous, B III cried, but all I could do was pick him up, wrap him under my arm, and nap. It didn’t end there; the week only got worse but for a moment. “What’s The B Ending?”

Thursday, April 29, 2021

Gospel 302 ~What’s The B Ending~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I don’t really want to talk about my day, and I haven’t even lived it.

I’m sure you don’t want to talk about that Wednesday when I was feeling this way. Time-Travel, Monsieur B. If I had done more of it on January, 27 perhaps I wouldn’t be here April 29 without you. At present, though, it’s April 24, and you know why I’m speaking. As I tell you every AM, I miss you, B III. I still love you like pancakes, but B, I must confess. Shouldn’t I have done that Wednesday? God, I hate Wednesday and Sunday. Not the days’ fault but mine. So my secret… when I say I miss you, I can hear MILF Dos’s voice. If it’s any consolation, you would have liked her yabbos. Now I know you appreciated Indiana Gone’s, without a doubt.

I was thinking about getting her a picture of you or us. Braxton, she misses you, but that would be weird. Always and forever B, so as long as I’m alive, you will be too until we’re together again. I should try cutting off Youtube once in a while, but um, “He Lives In You.” It’s what I tell myself every day, B, and look at me crying again. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop, but I need something to round out the Anger, especially this week. It’s almost like the one I had when you…. Again I’m not even living this week as I write you B Squared. Tell me something, do I deserve to have this pain end? I finished Camp NaNoWriMo…

Hell, if I had published a book already like Cherry? I saw her this morning, do me a favor, B, and see if you can find a cat named Millie. Talk about “stalking,” remembering some English vixen’s cat on the Rainbow Bridge. I’m still a monk and your Daddy. Braxton, was that even funny? So many things ended when you left, and those that began? I want to stay in the same place, you know, but life has its ways. How dare I say that. You wanted to live and now… was I going to say I want to die? I don’t want to move, I know that. The way our story ended like something out of NieR: Automata. Always, Forever, What’s The B Ending?

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 295 ~Sounds Like B Leaving~

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There’s no alarm for “mourning.” There’s no routine for it; otherwise, I would listen to He’s My Son by Mark Schultz 24/7. “What A Heavenly Way To Die” that would be. Instead, I take a second step in the five stages of grief. “Sounds Like B Leaving.”

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Gospel 295 ~Sounds Like B Leaving~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I don’t want to make you mad, although your Dad is all sorts of pissed.

I know. It sounds like I could be doing better. Today it sounds like I’m going to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Braxton, you were the soundtrack of my life. I need you to know that. Do you remember the day I said, “Braxton get in the car,” and you hopped? The first day you chose me, not my sister, not the grandparents, only me. In their new house, you barked at them in the AM defending the gate for me. The best welcome I got from you was the day your granddad was here. You jumped into my arms, whining. Braxton, the most beautiful sound was nightly. When I would say, “Night, Night Braxton, Sweet Dreams.” You’d paw the bed, settle and sleep beside me.

I hated fighting with you. There were times you would growl at me or snap. I’d be all, “you’re in trouble, the longer you hide.” You and I would both listen for one of my alarms to go off so I could call you a “good puppy” again. Your nails were pacing the floor all alone. I would call you about your meds, but it was hard for you to get down the stairs. I would carry you for so many days, but once you were outside for a walk, you were young again. You couldn’t hop in the car anymore, and I couldn’t blame you; with my final act. No, it started the day you cried… I ignored you.

I swear I thought you were going to be okay. Wednesday, you cried. By Thursday, you were back. I didn’t need the doctor to utter the words that Sunday evening. “He’s Gone.” The worst sound in the world was as I held you there and I heard your final breath. Braxton, I sat there on the stairs that day and cried like I never have before. It was the fucking silence that was killing me. How dare I? I killed you, so my going to Hell is what I deserve. For 72 days, I lived in Denial, I continue, but then the fucking ASM, ANGER. That bastard took my “peace.” Down from Denial to Anger, Up from Treachery to Anger. Always Sounds Like B Leaving.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 288 ~Braxton Is, Write Will~

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I much rather be writing letters to my son than having to contemplate going to HR again today. How about explaining to my Olds about really becoming a starving artist? No matter how confusing, I do write better than I speak. “Braxton Is, Write Will.”

Thursday, April 15, 2021

Gospel 288 ~Braxton Is, Write Will~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day; has your day begun? Is the Rainbow Bridge like the Rainbow Road a timed event?

It wasn’t a race you had to win, and yet you did. That explains why I’ve been listening to “Run Boy Run” on the playlist I made for you or me, us… I don’t know. While I have nothing to say to God, that line from He’s My Son echoes, “if you can hear me, let me take his place somehow.” It’s a simple request, and if I had written anything that touches others the way that line makes me bawl? I could have stopped you from leaving, you know, like putting up some gate. It wasn’t money or the doctors, Braxton it was time. Two years ago, I paid money to publish Gulp, and here I am two years later without you or anything.

You have been here for every story I’ve ever written. Well, minus that one when turkeys took over the whole world. Where has the hunger gone, I ask you? Wasn’t it right after you left? I signed the papers, and I turned ravenous, at least physically, from famine to feast. It still hurts, you know, even when I shop online. Hell, even before I do that, I sit here doing the budget again. Your needs are no longer part of the mathematical equation unless we count the water bill. That’s where your grandparents step in. I should be writing checks. Instead, I book shopping trips, and the food disappears. I buy books from infamous figures. The background is plagued with noise from unwatched shows, Youtube.

If writing paid for this, who knows where you would be my B; still alive? Instead, I continue to work the Day Job I hate and write lackadaisically at best. You would sit here with me, or at 2:00 AM, you’d be in your bed waiting. I’d come in, and you’d wake up to get in my bed. If I wasn’t going to be serious about my writing, the least I could do is spend more time with you. I Only Want To Be With You, like Janine and her Charlotte in The Handmaid’s Tale. Another book, a show, a concept more remarkable than mine. Yours ended but my library… Braxton, perhaps that was your last lesson. I am your father, a “writer.” To be all, Braxton Is, Write Will

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 281 ~A Noise With Braxton~

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I figured if there is one horror movie I’d survive, it’d be A Quiet Place. People make too much noise, and B and I didn’t like it. At least his noises always meant something, but I didn’t listen. Now I’ll never hear him again. “A Noise With Braxton.”

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Gospel 281 ~A Noise With Braxton~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you listening to me? I know you would ask if you ever did before?

I’m still not talking to God. There’s not much point in even acknowledging such a thing. Yep, that’s going to piss off some religious folk. Your grandma did check-in about a week or so. Your aunt told me of another furry kid. THEY don’t get it like the song “He’s My Son.” Always and Forever. There I go crying again. At the very least, I can say it hasn’t been all “wailing and gnashing of teeth.” It’s more a soft sob these days, but not one day has passed without me crying for you. I could be grieving for me because I hope you’re happy, of course, wherever you are, Braxton. Annoyed we aren’t together anymore is the lightest way I can put that B.

Also, there’s the fact that I didn’t read to you more. One reason is that reading about “succubi?” Those aren’t good stories for you. I still say either Heaven was jealous of Cerberus, or he needed a buddy. Two is, have you seen the actual books I’ve been buying? And three, I’m not done writing. You are too much like me, wanting to work so hard but quick with an excuse. You can’t see because Daddy hasn’t cut the grass; I’m not doing that because I’m writing. I’m not doing that because you’re napping on my legs. I was on my feet all yesterday because, yes, B, A Man Provides. That’s what you did, B III, all the sighs, huffs, sobbing, you brought the noise.

No amount of ASMR will ever make up for your sneak attacks, snoring, or sinning the world with your barks. I don’t care how pretty “Amy Kay” is. I rather have your cuteness. Before you ask, your Daddy is still celibate/asexual monk; sixty-seven days. Even longer One Hundred And Four. Now that’s too much information, B, but just a thought, I saw you with all your toys, ha-ha. You know the sound of my heartbeat when we would lie on the couch. I could be out cold, and how many times have I said this? I would wake up, and you would be sitting at the foot of the bed. You heard me say goodbye. Now I want your Hi. Anything, A Noise With Braxton

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Log 244 ~Give A Listen Will~

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The first of the month and guess what I’m still listening to, I heard in one of my motivations, the man with no imagination, has no wings, but all my imaginings have gone into writing a novella and Audible. Give A Listen Will

Sunday, March 01, 2020

Log 244 ~Give A Listen Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and so are you, do you hear me, do you understand? It’s going to be hard on you, I know. I’ve survived a month of that HUMMING noise. The games I enjoy playing are inaccessible, well, unless you feel like moving the PS4. Now that reminds me of something else you must hear, but let’s get this out of the way. Yes, the old car is still dead. The half-bathroom toilet is broke. You are going to fight tooth and nail at the Day Job because of your continual FEAR. Sleep is going to call on you every second of the day.

Okay first off and listen to me, don’t go wasting your money. It’s there, and tonight (Thursday) I got to hit the books, don’t “MESS” this up for us. I know you want a new Kindle or to buy a ladder so you can break your neck soon. For the love of everything, please don’t. So if I’m going to start begging, here’s something for you to consider, NO FAPPING. Tonight was a test, no doubt, I was busy writing the novella, A Sin Full Of Cherry. I was so ready you have no idea. Well, if you’re reading this, the week was survivable. While we’re on the subject, as much as Audible tried to cheat me out of five bucks. You should invest in more books. I’m here to tell you they help. It’s also a bit naughty to listen to something like Beauty and The Professor. Why can’t you hear, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace
    Completed

You got three wins this week; you’re welcome. I’ll be honest with you, though. There was no choice but to change #6. Reading a book a week makes you akin to Bill Gates. He reads one book a week according to your motivations but A Sin Full Of Cherry. While you’re busy finishing that, hasn’t it been a while since you felt such a fire to write? It’s not even NaNoWriMo season, and you’re thinking 19,200 words possibly? Don’t let others take this away from you ever. Lastly, I ask you not to give up. I know it’s hard; I don’t mean it like that, you’re trying to be brave at the Day Job. You have to win like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

So much noise, but what’s real or at least brings pleasure, Give A Listen Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 237 ~Most WONderful Time Will~

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I’ve added more noise to the bombardment of my psyche, and that’s the tick-tock of the clock. I have so much time and then so little. Where does it all go in the end? Into doing nothing? “Most WONderful Time Will,” but not forever

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Log 237 ~Most WONderful Time Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you, not so much. Now that’s not me being negative, Cherry said I was, but you know the words of King Ezekiel. How about the concepts of Dale Carnegie? At this point, I’m more into Andrew Davidson, and you will be too. You should also save some money for another book from Audible, STUPID Audible. Not that I’m one to talk, and you won’t be either, we don’t have the time. Should I say I don’t have the energy, and I got paid, so what about a store run in so many days? I made it to the loveseat, that’s enough.

Let’s talk about another dirty word, FEAR. No wonder I’ve been paralyzed for months. Again not being negative but facts, one car doesn’t work. The HUMMING has gone on for a full month almost. A few minutes ago, the downstairs toilet seat broke. All these things and I instead choose to write. How about that ladder I was planning on buying? Today is not a good day to die, well except by starvation. What about a lack of sleep? I’ve had all the time in the world and still haven’t gone to bed before 1:00 AM. Even My Dæmon is growing concerned, or he’s annoyed, and I don’t blame him. Why so fixated on the Tick Tock of the clock these days. Oh, I can finally hear it, you’re welcome. You know I don’t like being gross, but I took out a massive chunk of Earwax a few days ago. Better now to hear my failings at Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting Rid Of The Humming From The Roof
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace
    Failed

I blame #1 on writing that Erotica “Now C Here My Senses, or was it looking at some “inspiration?” Fortunately, I don’t have time to write a million excuses. Only if you want me to be negative, this week is going to suck. As far as today goes, again, I’m still contemplating getting up and going to get food. I yelled at a BBQ place over a burger. I’m still waiting for something from Indiana Gone, not her fault. In a way, I need all the problems to forget about the Norton and H&R Block mess, being grateful. So it’s not Valentine’s anymore, I don’t drink, and I hate most jokes. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace

These motivations say you did not wake up to be mediocre; Most WONderful Time Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 230 ~He’s Ding Dong Willing~

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Shut Up. I like my friends, I love my son, I love the ladies, and there are lines I signed to have people look out for me, but the noise is becoming deafening, the fears from the push of a button I swear. He’s Ding Dong Willing, but no

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Log 230 ~He’s Ding Dong Willing~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m wondering how silent it would be in a vault. Seeing that much money up close and personal, would my heart skip a beat. Would it leave me breathless, and would I fall for it all? Should I replace the word vault with crypt? I got out of school at the right time because I would have been a victim of cyberbullying. Anything somewhat similar was my fault from the ladies. For now, there is no haven from this house or online. There is only noise.

As always, we begin with the humming, let me tell you I tried. It’s a problem you’ll still have to contend with, but my father was here. He said it’s not coming from the house but the neighbors, so more black men. At this rate, you’re living in half a “home” with no chance of sharing it with anybody. Speaking of sharing and ladies, who is Mary? Another week of jumping every time the phone rings. Norton and H&R Block are both emailing almost daily because of my number and this woman. I hate being even near the phone. No matter where I am, I’m always checking. THEY say ignorance is bliss and how I want that so badly right now. When I sleep, it’s not resting because I’m never finding that; it’s for the silence. Work should bring that too but Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting Rid Of The Humming From The Roof
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace
    Failed

Back to ZERO, this list might as well be that humming. It never ends, and except for a slight variation in tone, it remains. So here’s hoping that you will find the solution. Yeah, you’re willing to live with it as long as Norton, H&R Block, and nobody else calls or emails. Again, the noise is relentless, but even at this moment. 12:35 PM I made a promise not to lift the phone. No matter what, until 3:00 PM, it doesn’t own this life. I should say my life soon to be yours, but it’s not true. Isn’t it ironic that my right ear has been screwy, and now that I can hear I don’t want to anymore? Well, you’re welcome. I give you this gift, and it’s more of a curse. I couldn’t give you a better week, which means you have more of a fight Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting Rid Of The Humming From The Roof
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace

For Whom The Bell Tolls, Will, He’s Ding Dong Willing.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 221 ~Sounding Off Someday Will~

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Another week of research on noise and it sounds like it could be the turbine on the roof but that’s coming from the mouth or fingers of a stranger but my head if nothing but a racket so anything to read in silence. Sounding Off Someday Will

Friday, February 7, 2020

Log 221 ~Sounding Off Someday Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and with that, I know, money is pretty loud. If I can’t read in silence, I might as well learn about the noise. Well, that explains why I’m talking to you tonight. I’ve already said I don’t like waking up early though I should. Yes, Lady Sophia, I wasted one more day on sleep. My grandest accomplishments today, I fueled up the car and took care of a few emails. Tonight (Tuesday), I should be watching the State of the Union. In all fairness, I couldn’t stand all the fawning, and the “Black/Minority Parade” Trump has.

Tomorrow will be all abuzz with his lies and his defenders. I swear what else am I going to do besides watching that or YouTube. Again this is a night without reading or Far Cry 5, and of course, you know why. I miss My Study, Man Cave, Fortress of Solitude; that’s not my bedroom. When it comes to bed, of course, this is the last place I should be now. I’m still watching UnidentifiedSFM, and I haven’t even checked on Jada Chan. Now, if you look any of that up, My Lady, that’s your fault. Anyway, I’m going crazy this being Day 4 of you know what. Of course, there is still the humming, and did I tell you I have a lead on the racket now. It makes it much easier to handle when you know that something can end someway, somehow hopefully.

Wow, saying any word with “LY” immediately triggers Hemingway, Grammarly, or both. I want to be a better writer Lady Sophia, more than anything, but haven’t I said I don’t sound like myself. At this rate, I should join the chorus on the roof. Now if it’s not only weird sounds, it’s an echo but no disrespect to Inspector Echo, I’m only saying the same thing on repeat. I hate being unoriginal, but worse is an ignored voice, you know. I tried showing off to A&W the other day, but he didn’t want to hear it at all. Of course, that leads to the worse sound of all. My money, falling into nothing and hollowing out my bank account. Even the fear of strangers and my Olds; SIGH, that’s what got me into this mess. I can’t read about another world yet, a better place; I’m Sounding Off Someday Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 175 ~Bells, Pails, Will Tell~

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All I want for Christmas… that’s like a list of the women I want to (um okay) if anything I want my wallet to be as full as my fridge, my son, and what’s up with, the cleaning supplies and gift bags and no one’s named charity. Bells, Pails, Will Tell

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Episode 175 ~Bells, Pails, Will Tell~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, let other people do it, The Salvation Army, Prosperity Ministry, and what’s one more pretty girl, but no, you have no choice but to listen to those loud ass bells, same with people, you have no faith in yourself, and how much did you spend today? Man I know how you feel about charity, it doesn’t make sense you know, somebody has millions if not billions of dollars, but from the proceeds of their obscene profits, they donate a million and feel good about themselves, tsk, tsk.

Now I don’t want to lecture you about money, hell you have over a thousand dollars waiting “The Alamo Fund” I’m also not telling you to be a fool and spend it all, neither am I complaining about how you’re living… Okay so that’s what I do honestly but what I mean is, you shine up like a new penny for what; did you spend money on “B III” today, in a way, seeing as how you always share right? You spend money on Pussy (Language), Pets, and Prose, and it’s the first, and the last that makes you so silly don’t you think, bringing up those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Finish The Golden Line: (Knotted Book 1), Addison Cain
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

Well, Merry “Freaking” Christmas, a 17.5 F and the most you can even start to hope for is five out of six until “Triple B” has his next Vet appointment, annual and his heart condition. You have a heart condition dammit because you believe in such things and throw money at them; being a father to a son because you have to, you clean up the house, get a haircut, shower, shave, buy presents and yes you feel better. My point is you believe in everything but yourself, you want to make others happy, you say your son is going to live until his brown coat is silver, you give everything you are to everything else, but you are impossible, unbelievable, worthless Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Finish Christmas Cake: A Holiday Collection by Celia Aaron
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

So much noise and somehow the holidays are supposed to be the cure and not the virus, how full would your gas tank be, your wallet, hell even your bed if all this faith you have somehow you could keep; Grammarly, blogging, put your money where your mouth is but you would never. Tell them to stop those bells, call out the liars, it’s okay to like your friends, but you go out of your way for them, be selfish, but it won’t be this week sigh I could guess that Bells, Pails, Will Tell.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 026 ~The Will To Escape~

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Last week around this same time I was celebrating my escape from the norm, and today I feel as though I’m institutionalized wanting to get back into my story and at the same time committing the crime of doing everything else. The Will To Escape.

Friday, July 27, 2018

Episode 026 ~The Will To Escape~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to stay here as the song goes, maybe it’s the fact that people know they’re supposed to be quiet, unlike the movies I can get a good eight hours in, instead of a brief respite, or maybe it’s the fact that the library is becoming my gym. The sad part is today, I’ve been here since nearly ten, and I’ve used everything I can to avoid doing any real writing (Emails); for the second day in a row I’ve woken up early and fallen back asleep and why?

No excuses Lady Sophia, I’m tired, maybe I’m mad as Hell, and it’s not as if I don’t want to do this, I wouldn’t be here otherwise, and it could be plenty of other things to be sure, but the thing is I want to escape. Yesterday I was at the store, and when I was getting out of my car, this group of black teenagers was walking by, and they burst out laughing at me, and for a split second, I was that loser I once was back in school. The thing is I raised my head up, I didn’t run, put up my hoody, plug in my earphones or anything I kept walking and was pretty damn anxious to fight, but I wanted to, I should have… NO?

How many times have I said, I don’t grow, and maybe it’s not because I can’t afford a wardrobe but presumedly because I’ve become used to hiding, to make myself small, keeping my mouth shut to avoid offending anybody but I do that anyway with my writing? It’s people’s fault, as I said, I have my hood, my earphones, books, everything to avoid people but they don’t like the reminder of their insignificance to the rest of us, and this whole world is like a prison. So I resort to solitary confinement, my “white room” in writing which is my escape from the world and now I realize maybe escape isn’t the goal that I’m looking for dear Lady Sophia.

Like yesterday not with the teens but when one of the clerks overcharged me, and I walked back in there and got my money back, I want to bring the damn ruckus, but at this point, I’m empty still; I meant to get a shrimp dinner but settled on a burger. I didn’t want to deal with any more people yesterday, and now today I’m only mad at myself and yes call me a hypocrite because if I’m going to bring the noise to everyone else, I’m Will and truth is The Will To Escape.

I Will Have No Fear