Tag: Daddy

Chronicle 123 ~Outlive Your Enemies, Not Friends~

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There ain’t no rest for the wicked as the song goes. Not for them or me. Only the good die young. Where’s B III? He was my baby even at 15. Old dogwise. Hell, I did believe he would outlive me… I had my reasons. Outlive Your Enemies, Not Friends

Monday, November 1, 2021

Chronicle 123 ~Outlive Your Enemies, Not Friends~

Two-Hundred And Twelfth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means the man I’m looking at is the world’s enemy. Somethings will never change, Madam J.

Of course, right now, I’m scraping by. The fact that we’re speaking on a Wednesday afternoon in October (Time Travel) lets you know that It WASN’T A Good Day. It’s one thing to not have any friends at the Day Job. I don’t want any but being lied to, Madam. I’m sure that the manager lied to me about my paycheck and my responsibilities. Who knows, I could be wrong, but everyone there believes I’m STUPID anyway. It’s a disease. Not only STUPIDITY but how I find enemies. It’s like a fucking Hydra. One head drops dead. And two more rise. To think of all the times I got mad at Braxton for barking at nothing. No, he saw everything.

Well, not me. B’s murderer, his killer, the fucking Grim Reaper. People are getting sick of me saying that. Hell, I don’t blame them. I reached out to a few friends today (Wednesday). Braxton’s aunt said hello. Another is pretty injured, and one said nothing. That leaves me with a few choice words for the man in the mirror, well, one. “Yuck.” Remembering my motivations. Someone spoke about your best friend/worst enemy staring at you in the mirror. Well, Braxton was my best friend. My worst enemy lives on. If I had the guts to leave my Day Job, they would go on. B III would have died faster. Yet here I am, Madam repeating the words of Rick Grimes. “We Are The Walking Dead. Lived to become the villain.

Like father like son, right? If my father and I agree on anything. It’s the fact that I should plan on not outliving him. He’s over half my age, of course. Fuck I’m thirty-seven. Every E-Day is a failure. Oh yeah, today starts NaNoWriMo and NoFap. The Good, Bad, Ugly. Only Braxton isn’t here to sit under the table, keeping me focused. Hands meet keyboard. You don’t see any girlfriend around here making me break into “Baby I Love You.” Madam, you’re an imaginary one out of six, and I should be writing about “Bridgman.” Oh, what? I’m not writing about B III again. I outlived him, and my enemies are slothful. I’m the worst of them all, dear friend. Outlive Your Enemies, Not Friends

274 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 119 ~Rereading A’s And B’s~

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Lies, I told my son. Lies, I tell myself, I’m glad I wrote the story out. At the rate I’m going, a story that will never be published. But these letters to my little boy even when he was 15, which is damn near 70 in “dog years?” Rereading A’s And B’s

Thursday, October 28, 2021

Chronicle 119 ~Rereading A’s And B’s~

270 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? The fact that we’re talking on a Sunday lets you know all about my day.

It’s another reason I’d shush you as Soon As I Get Home from work. You know why you never knew your stepmom. Who wants to hear about Humiliations Galore always? Braxton, even more so, it hurts when I lie at the Day Job. I’ve said it before that going to my old words of “another day,” my indifference. No B, “son, what you don’t understand.”And here come the waterworks with “Don’t Look Down.” Only I didn’t leave you. The rest of the song still applies. Also, I don’t want to retell the story of how you died, B III. Hell, I relive that tale every time I shut my eyes. It’s the reason I cry every day. I’m burning myself alive. Remember the movie Spontaneous?

No, that’s a film I watched long after you passed. The stories I tell every night so I can sleep but now I’m telling old stories. In my most hated words list, I should add Acceptance. I still haven’t, you know. 270 Days and Routine, your water bowl remains full, and I haven’t switched out your bathroom pad. It’s clean. My biggest worry is your treats. Braxton, I only want to make it through one year. Aunt Carolina Bound’s not Happy. Neither am I, but that’s the standard. It’s getting around NaNoWriMo season, and now I do have a writing idea. The first has nothing to do with you, really. Well, more like Bastian Barks Bennett. This is a conversation for Sophia, but you’re here.

I’m sitting at the dining room table, imagining you’ll get off your pillow and direct me to the door. Anyway, my first idea. You know how I thought I’d finished my Cherry trilogy. Killed her the first one, killed you in the last one. I’m starting to think VR and robots. Now my second idea, and Braxton, you have to forgive me for this. I talk about you replacing Cerberus in Hell. What kind of Daddy imagines his son going to Hell? So I’m thinking about Drive Angry, how Milton described it. Braxton, watching my fuck-ups. Would you come back and save me, or would you let me have your wrath? I’d understand both. Hope I’m writing before you see this. Rereading A’s And B’s

“You know the pain and suffering ain’t the worse part, right? That’s what they tell ya, what they want you to believe. But it’s all a big fuckin lie. Nosir, worst part’s the goddamn video feed.”

“It ain’t about the fire and brimstone. Ain’t about your suffering. It’s about the suffering of them you love. Cuz you see it. You see it all. In full goddamn detail. And there ain’t nothin you can do about it.” ― Drive Angry (2011)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 118 ~Dad Of A B~

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Didn’t I get promoted at some point? Thursday, I’ll know if I was a child that was lied to about Christmas morning. $12.00 an hour I should be ashamed, or that I’m paying Love Wolf how much? It was different when I was working for B III. “Dad Of A B”

Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Chronicle 118 ~Dad Of A B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but none of that would bring life or, being specific, Braxton back. The same old regret

Braxton was/is a better man than me, and as I’ve said, what’s the best part of manhood? Fatherhood. Waking up at 37, mourning a son gone 269 Days, knowing you’ll never have another fur-baby or human. For my failures, Braxton would’ve been a good dad. Hell, he made a man out of me. I once thought that’s what women are for. Did I offend anyone? No more than myself with Humiliations Galore this week, but we’ll get to that. I should have let Braxton breed. I could have gotten a free puppy. Being a granddad? Braxton was terrified of girls, well, furry girls because he was so in love with Carolina Bound’s Yabbos. If you’re wondering where I’ve been this morning. Yeah, it’s Yabbos related.

But wait, didn’t I say I’m AHEM “determined to live a life of abstinence—no partying, no women, no nothing.” Thank you, Monique Moreau. Yet I’m still drooling over M Anime, Cherry, “LL,” a paid subscription to Love Wolf… Less ashamed of that than yesterday. Inspector, where are my “huge cojones, well other than OnlyFans, of course. So yesterday, the truck supervisor left for some emergency. This dude younger than me, who’s worked for fewer years than me, takes over the truck crew. And I let him. No fight, nothing. Inspector Echo, I want to run a brothel one day. I’m reading about some guy’s harem this week, “Dystopian Girls 2.” I call myself a Dominant, but I am no leader of men. The truth.

When I was in the Navy for a “couple” of weeks, I couldn’t do a damn thing by myself. Even now, when something goes wrong, I have to go running to my “father” for help. Keeping Braxton alive, though, once we were out on our own. Well, the ending result. Braxton, my little B, B III, “my eldest son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom,” is gone. In a way, he’s lucky to be free of this place. That he does not have to watch, his father fall. Yup, that’s a bit from Troy (2004). Anyway, B does watch, and that’s my shame. It’s all that’s holding me together. Because people, seeing me. Seeing myself, I’m my son’s daddy. Dad Of A B.

269 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 116 ~A Gods Weakness Is No~

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I’m nobody, and yet they say God will come for me. He cares enough, but I get sent to Hell for refusing to Kowtow if I say no. I take my own licks, and I’ve been there and done that, going on 267 Days. Who knew I was so strong… A Gods Weakness Is No.

Monday, October 25, 2021

Chronicle 116 ~A Gods Weakness Is No~

Two-Hundred And Eleventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should have everything I want. My grandma said that I had too much pride…

When I look in the mirror, I know that ain’t true at all. How about the fact that I’m sitting here in blankets on a Friday afternoon? I will be again Monday after working my crappy Day Job. And knowing all this, I will not fall to my knees and ask for God’s help now? Madam, as if this story needs retelling, I haven’t called on God since Braxton’s passing. Don’t I mean murder? The fact is I’m not asking after God for anything to do with me. It’s not pride, ok. Um, Madam, the things that impress me in this life. Yup, called Yabbos. To paraphrase a song AHEM, “I got ninety-nine wants but a God ain’t one,” ha.

M Anime wouldn’t want me saying that. I’ve been thinking about the things I shouldn’t speak. More like the stuff I shouldn’t do. Do you think the loss of my son was God’s Wrath? 267 days and I haven’t blamed him, her, it, whatever. It feels so damn good, J. Today thoughts turn to the fucking ASM. Whether he was blessed or cursed, he’s gone. So I say “whatever,” as much as I damn well please, and I’m sure I got fries back here too. Here’s hoping I’m also keeping my dick in my pants after today. I mentioned Yabbos. Madam, as pathetic as I am as a human being, I’m not calling on God. Hell, most days, I drift back and forth. Atheism, Agnosticism

Like in “The Road,” to some, Braxton was an angel; to me, he was/is a God. I told him no plenty, but from the first day, I saw him. Yes was my only answer. Now for the record, I did have somewhat of a “Religious Reawakening,” a “Second Renaissance.” Hellish!!! Now, of course, I mean high school. If God could have got me out of that one, I’d be his. What is it they say, God helps those who help themselves? Only I’m still sitting here, aren’t I? Again a soft dick, compliments of such and such’s Yabbos. I need to answer nature’s call. And all I want to do is sleep. Could God help me out? Nope, but Braxton… Such is my greatest sin. A Gods Weakness Is No

“I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.” ― Jareth from Labyrinth (1986)

267 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

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I talked about food last week. B would be ticked off to see I didn’t bring fries back. I bought a chicken biscuit, and I yelled at McD’s for their STUPID rewards program I never signed up for. B’s brain and belly were linked. When Braxton Fries Away

Thursday, October 21, 2021

Chronicle 112 ~When Braxton Fries Away~

263 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I hope I picked something up but no fries B. I had a chicken biscuit.

Yes, I’m talking to you on a Wednesday. As always, I think back to when it would have mattered. The Wednesday, you cried, and by Thursday, I thought you would be okay. One more thing to be sorry for. I didn’t want to bring you down, and I’m bawling guaranteed. Not over Colin Powell, though. While I was in line today, again Wednesday, I saw the flag at half-staff. I don’t look up most days. I can only imagine what you think of me. You’re higher now, and if I had wings, a cape, a pile of money, I’d make my way up, B III. You have to believe me; I’m still trying, but it’s never enough. I’m talking like no fries for us both.

A day without fries is like a day without sunshine. If I didn’t bring food home, then we walked. Which one was better for you, B? There was no final walk and no last fry when your time came. Time, what did I do with all of mine today? And by Thursday, I’ll be out. I often envision what Hell will be like. Never getting to nap again. Wasting time. Braxton, I remember thinking the police would show up and take me away. Alone again. Is it sitting here, waiting to die? I didn’t even have it in me to make it back downstairs B. I wouldn’t expect you to follow me. I carried you in your old age, but you came up by yourself.

If I had the money, where would you like to eat? I’m sure the Rainbow Bridge has better fries than McDonald’s. Burger King, Seafood & Chicken Box, Red Lantern, etc. I swear, the best places are either fucked-up or closed down. Don’t repeat that language. You’re your father’s son, after all, and I want to keep you on the up and up. Well, unless you feel like taking a trip to visit me. I found some of your bandannas from PetSmart on the floor, and I figured you’d been by. I know I’m in your room every day. Little B. Thursday morning, there will be 263 for all the Days you’ve been gone. There are lots of ways to be empty. When Braxton Fries Away

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 111 ~Bucket Says B III~

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All the small things, chicken biscuits off the shelves and not getting them in the drive-thru. The Yabbo files I’ve been working on instead of writing. Of course, there is always my little boy, gone 262 Days. “Bucket Says B III,” sometimes.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Chronicle 111 ~Bucket Says B III~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would make it in for a chicken biscuit sometime today. There’s always time.

Um, no, there’s not, but I did wake up around two AM today. But getting two more hours of sleep, I woke up at four and then fell right back to sleep, yep. It’s not nightmares but wanting to wake up dead and then seeing death staring you in the face. B was my life. Doggie kisses or some pretty girl’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve made a comparison. Where are we now; 262 Days without Little B. Even longer when it comes to the chicks. Hell, all the chicks in the world wouldn’t make up for Braxton being here. A monk again? I’m trying Inspector Echo, twisting my legs all into knots. As it stands, 3 Days, 17 Hours. Yes, it’s timed.

Braxton isn’t very patient when it comes to his favorite things in the world. Going outside, a biscuit for his bathroom spot, doggie cuddles from Moi? Inspector, it’s Fries always. These days as a routine, I stop and pick up fries except for Saturdays. If I’m going to betray my best friend. When I pick up a box of Street Tacos, I’ll choose onion rings. Bastard. Only this week, all I’ve wanted is a chicken biscuit but with the “promotion” and all. As the song goes, “Work sucks, I know.” If I go pick one up today, what’s left this week? Echo, a lesson from Braxton, “The best legs, breasts, and thighs are in a bucket of chicken.” My little boy was a wise one.

I’m not talking about my penis; that would be my big boy, right? Besides thinking of the vittles, I haven’t been getting. Or my Braxton, of course. It’s been all about boobs, some Yabbos. When you’re hauling boxes of crap, what’s a man to do? If I was writing Echo? Now I’m not complaining about OnlyFans. I’m thinking the reason I started that is because the house is Hell. But the Day Job is what took me away from Braxton. Should I be thanking them or cursing them? At least the ASM quit, so yay. I still need to eat. Chicken for my table or more like for Braxton’s tummy. For now, I’ll go write at the dining room table, SIGH. Bucket Says B III

262 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 109 ~Beasts Don’t Kill For Sport~

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I don’t care for hunting. For food, okay. But killing majestic beasts as you want to man-up or because it’s Human Nature. The Most Dangerous Game? The only “life” I’ve taken had four legs and loved me the most. Humans eww. Beasts Don’t Kill For Sport

Monday, October 18, 2021

Chronicle 109 ~Beasts Don’t Kill For Sport~

Two-Hundred And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t hunt people. On the one hand, some girls disagree. On the other, my aunt.

She for sure thought I was going to be a supervillain and wanted to destroy the planet. Me, the guy that’s so afraid to be in charge at work. Who’s thinking about every little thing that he screwed up the last time he was there? What did she know, considering…? Well, we won’t get into that. Let’s say that I haven’t killed anybody. Wait, no, scratch that. The things I can no longer speak. I have never been in a car wreck, but that changed some months back. Yeah, remember, Sunday, January 31, 2021, I killed my best friend, Braxton. A dangerous thought of what I wanted before I knew Braxton was dying, so I won’t voice it. Only if anyone deserves “something” that’s me.

Hell, I ain’t worth much except to a scammer. I swear I like books, but how many people have I had to block on Goodreads? While we’re on the subject, what am I reading now? In case you didn’t know, AHEM “Time-Travel.” Today is Saturday which means, as always, this week is going to suck. So again, what will I be thinking about in Hell? Dystopian Girls 2? Mason doesn’t hunt for girls but somehow finds them. Or speak of some tiddies, and they appear. A.J. Markam’s books have me looking up the Kama Sutra. There are also more Harem Romances. Hunting, Looking, Stalking, as I told Lady Luna today, I’m lost. I’m not chasing anything but my destruction. my Lazy Ass, come Find Me.

For the record, I don’t care for hunting. Unless we’re talking about something like Squid Game where things are “equal.” Humanity has lost sight of that. Now, Braxton, he was my pack, and I did what I did to make sure he would live… Other people, why are they there? That’s why the world is so dangerous. It’s all one big game of “Who’s The Better Killer.” We’re all fighting the same enemy, people, that is. One man said it was Hate, but no, Madam, you start at the root, and that is Fear. Braxton feared nothing… Well, his own kind, leaving me, and then only me. I killed and got nothing for it. Beasts have reasons, yet people survive. Beasts Don’t Kill For Sport.

260 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

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A woman at the Day Job says to eat more. Has she seen what I make? I have no qualms about my body, and if B were here, I would make sure to get a side of fries. To be honest, how does M Anime eat at all? What is B eating? “Restaurants With A B-Plus.”

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Chronicle 105 ~Restaurants With A B-Plus~

256 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you checking up on me any? I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t, Braxton.

I remember I would have fleeting thoughts before you were gone, how this would be. Once I told your Aunt that I would listen to “See You Again” when I was mad at you. I don’t recall the last time I heard it. There was a time I would play it and others every day. It beats my ranting, raving, and rambling, wouldn’t you agree? I tried not to when you were sleeping. Which begs the question, Braxton, why are we talking this morning? Because your Daddy didn’t have any fries to stick in his mouth. The Day Job called. Braxton, how could I say no to you and yes to those PEOPLE? At the end of the day, you had to eat, nothing more.

Food has been the name of the game all this week. If you need another reason to be pissed at me, besides everything else. Yeah, I haven’t been bringing food back, or it was chocolate. Yesterday, I started to share something with Inspector Echo, but I didn’t know how to word it. I still don’t, but here it is. Truth, I haven’t been eating the way I should this past week. It’s not my intention to starve myself like I did years back. Hell, the only reason I’m still breathing, I’m Alive, is because of you and the Day Job. I love you and hate them, Funny how that works. If I survive today, then I keep my promise to you. If not, we’re together.

It’s what we in the business call a win-win. Thank you, Emily, “Just SUMM Reactions.” I’ve been subsisting off of movie reactions and eating like the contestants of Squid Game. How I wish you were here after Episode 8. I can’t justify buying a steak if I can’t share it with you. Emergence Day was an exception, of course. That was one more promise kept. Like wanting to help M Anime? Braxton, I know you love your Aunt Carolina Bound. She’s a lot less picky when it comes to food. M Anime and I would starve each other, you know. If anything, that would mean more for you. But you are your father’s son, Braxton. I made around 220 last week… Restaurants With A B-Plus

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Chronicle 104 ~Suffering Is To B~

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Braxton didn’t suffer in death. Little B, no, he saved that for me with his last look. Before, as he lay in his bed, belly empty. And I knew; French Fries, Popcorn, or anything that hit the floor would tempt him. Not even a bite. “Suffering Is To B.”

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Chronicle 104 ~Suffering Is To B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And if I were like all the others, that means the rules don’t apply to me.

Excuse my politics at what 7:30 in the morning? Oh, I got up on time, earlier even. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare as my final thought after “Goodnight B, Sweet Dreams.” It is that I won’t have to wake up. I dreamed someone was here… I scared them away. To think my time always took a hit when B was here. I lose even more now that I don’t have him to protect me. That’s on top of everything I do in remembrance of him. Let’s not forget that I can’t plan on crying, but it happens everyday Echo one way or another. I even told M Anime that no matter the pain, I think of Braxton. Nothing ever trumps that hurt, shame, sin.

Not yesterday’s “ear fidgeting.” I swear if I end up in one of those disgusting videos with a bug in my ear? I’m always down for whatever wants to take me out and straight to Braxton. I’ve been looking at my hand and these two marks, minor nicks. My boss slammed a piece of hardware there by accident. Um, I should thank her, It reminds me of a nip from B III. Of course, the worse thing about this week, besides Braxton being gone? The Day Job. How about as the song goes? “Takin’ the bumps and the bruises, Of all the things of a two-time loser.” Now I’ve told you about this before. How I passed out because I didn’t eat, and Braxton saved my life. Poor us, right?

My new method of “purging” since, yeah, I can’t keep my dick in my pants. Thank you, Stuff And Thangs, aka OnlyFans. And I got Carolina Bound watching too, fantastic. Ok, you remember, after starving myself, I wound up in the hospital. My Old Man didn’t want to pay, and my Ma ended up footing the bill. Yes, my shame. I’m more ashamed that Braxton had dirty water due to my health, and I swore it would never happen again. Inspector, it never did, but I starved myself again and got kicked out by my Old Man. That was years ago, but then this week… Damn, I got to be careful how I say things… Guess I’ll tell Braxton tomorrow, yep. Suffering Is To B.

255 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 102 ~Perfection Is Forged Through Hell~

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In a song, there’s the line “the road to Heaven, is paved through Hell.” Dante had Virgil, and I had B, and the clear path has been lost. My boy wouldn’t go to Hell unless Cerberus retired. Plus, B III was perfect. “Perfection Is Forged Through Hell”

Monday, October 11, 2021

Chronicle 102 ~Perfection Is Forged Through Hell~

Two-Hundred And Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. If the current crop of billionaires is any sign, I know where I’m going. I deserve it.

Seeing as how we’re talking on a Sunday, you know where I’ll be. It’s not going to Hell but more like going through the different circles. Of course, when I meet my demise, I will see Circle Nine for my Treachery. I’m sure you’re asking, aren’t you an atheist friend? Where’s Braxton in all this? How many groups am I a part of telling me that my son has crossed the Rainbow Bridge? He’s on it or waiting for me? Now I could burst out singing, I got Faith of the Heart. As far as God is concerned, I think I understand, Madam Justice. One more reason I’m going to Hell. Because what if anything do I conceive, hmm? For one, perfection lies in Hell.

Not my son Braxton. He would want to be where I am, so I tried to clean up my act. With what I did to him, taking his life, and yes, I’ve heard it all. It was an act of love, kindness, mercy. In my eyes, B was perfect but did he ask for mercy, freedom? B asked for Home. So this leads me back to God, and no, not like that. While I’m busy ripping off movies like Braveheart, how about The Ten Commandments. It’s like I’m Moses in the burning desert. I should look up how long Moses was in the wilderness. I have 253 Days of experience. Is “God” preparing me for a purpose? One that I could not share with Braxton.

It’s not OnlyFans for sure, but his cute face would have more fans than me. Hell, while I’ve been sitting here at the dining room table, I’ve gotten all sorts of ideas. Yeah, it ain’t writing, Burning paper, another taste of Hell. I’ll be amazed if I’m prepared… Day Job. They have said that the Squid Game is a look at Hell. Oh my took the guy ten years, ha. There’s my Envy popping up. I have had the Day Job for a decade, and what do I have, J? Even now, I could sit right in the Den and not do a damn thing. Cocoon myself in the Bed. Treachery is ice cold, you know, that is my punishment. Perfection Is Forged Through Hell

253 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will